This is something I have been meaning to ask for a while but not felt "brave" enough to ask.
Guys, do you sometimes find your MH and self esteem can get bruised, damaged or hurt due to rejections on here.
I have always felt unless you are in the "top tier" of guys that you are simply "nothing" to most couples or ladies here.
Im part of a couple but we have single profiles with links in our profiles cross referencing one another.
Time and time again I have tried to chat to couples or single ladies (in a friendly way) whom are chatting with and on the verge of meeting the wife or even both of us, to then be complety ignored or even blocked.
It becomes painfully clear when you are 100% made to feel you are just an inconvenience, or something that needs to be tolerated so that others can get to the wife as such.
Anyway.. Just wondering... Am I alone in feeling this?
Has my time in the lifestyle come to an end? |
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If something affects anyone’s mental health in a negative way it’s best to stop doing the deed that’s effecting it…perhaps a break is in order if it’s getting you down.
We only have a couples account so I don’t see the negative side of it and In the short time we have been here it’s been mainly positive |
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Gotta be honest I (Mr) am in the same boat and it’s not the best feeling in the world but if you feel like your MH is taking a bit of a beating maybe a break is what you need…. To be honest on fab guys always have a hard time finding meets where as the ladies not so much…. Fab is a weird old place …. Ive/we’ve had chats with your O/H and she’s lovely I'm sure she’s gunna support whatever decision you make for yourself…. Just remember regardless of play styles you are a couple at the end of the day fab shouldn’t be allow to dictate your self worth or self esteem…. Hope this helps buddy ….  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have a total babyface, which a lot of women are not into at all. So sometimes when a face pic message is seen and then deleted can smart. But it's ok, I understand an innocent look isn't to everyone's taste! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Maybe they are put off by your partner, whom you mention in your profile, seemingly not existing.
I couldn’t find her. Profile hidden ?"
She’s mentioned in some of his verifications. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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OP, if my partner tried to muscle in on someone I was talking to and maybe thinking about meeting I would not be impressed.
As others have rightly pointed out, you’re not doing too badly.
Is your other half getting significantly more mail than you?
Maybe concentrate on your couples profile for a while.
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You won't be alone in how you feel.
But in all honesty you just have grow a thick skin to it all on here.
Yes it sucks when you never seem to get anywhere, yes it sucks when you feel unwanted or superfluous.
You have to take it in stride.
As others have said though, you've managed to get three veris so far this year... that is more than many will ever do.
Don't be down about yourself, you're obviously getting something right.
I've met no women from fab so you're doing much better than I am in that regard. |
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This was a tough read last night if I am honest reading the above and did go to reinforce some of my beliefs.
So the last 3 verifications.. Have your read them? One is from a lovely couple who do for me buck the trend of the issues I have mentioned.
Another is a lovely lady who we had an awesome with, the last is someone I have known for years, yet never played with, never will and the feeling is mutual as we are definatley more friends than anything else.
Alot of emphasis was put on those 3 verifications for this year with comments like you are doing alright, I genuinley don't get that mentality.
Then moving onto someone saying suggesting I am "muscling in" on the wife's convos, that is a very poor assumption and wrong, messaging a couple to say hi who have said to the wife.... We have seen your hubby's profile and we would love to meet all together, to then be blocked or ignored entirely is hurtful and down right dis respectful.
I am an incredibly lucky guy, been with the wife for almost 20 years and I look at her every day and think.... Wow.. Im one lucky sod, she is stunning, sexy and a great all. Round gal.
However.. There is an element of fab -that is toxic, with guys who think they can "win" the wife over and whisk them away, to couples who assume just because there is a single profile that is all we are about.
There is only a small selection out there that will shoot myself a message out of courtesy when chatting with wifey and that goes a million miles.
However one thing I will take onboard is the comment of, if its having a negative effect on the MH then its time to take a break.
And a break it will be.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
Then moving onto someone saying suggesting I am "muscling in" on the wife's convos, that is a very poor assumption and wrong, messaging a couple to say hi who have said to the wife.... We have seen your hubby's profile and we would love to meet all together, to then be blocked or ignored entirely is hurtful and down right dis respectful.
"
That someone was me and in fairness that’s not how you explained it in your first post.
However, muscling in was a poor choice of words and I apologise for that.
With most couples on Fab who have solo profiles the woman will normally receive more messages and it can be hard for her partner to see.
We have a couples profile and very often messages are directed at me not my partner. It IS disrespectful. When this happens I’ll call them out and block.
We’ve had meets where my partner has been left out. They’re cut short.
I do understand where you’re coming from but you need a thick skin to be on Fab.
The upside is you have your lovely wife |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Fab is a woman's world because of the distorted ratios. It's true that most people only meet the 5-10% of guys too.
A lot of the guys in couples would just be another struggling single guy without the Mrs.
It's all about the women because it's mostly the men that run the couples accounts too. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Hi matey, I have a little to say on this so I apologise in advance incase I talk a lot of utter pish.
I’d like to start off with the ‘top tier of guys’ that you mentioned. Buddy trust me, there is no such thing as a top tier, please remove that from your thought process and try to rethink how attraction works rather than continuing to compare yourself to others. On fab we have guys with Adonis type bodies who will find the women they approach prefer dad bods or expect the guy to be full of himself. You get guys at 6ft who will be told that the fem they have shown interest in prefers shorter guys, the straight guy can be told she prefers bi guys and the single guy can be told she prefers to meet married men.
Places like fab are not the ones to approach if you have sensitivities or doubts around your appearance of confidence. You need to remember that men vastly outnumber women here which gives women the pick of the bunch. This can, every now and then, cause some women to be absolute bastards but you take that with a pinch of salt as so many are lovely. Iv not referred to couples here as most don’t look for single guys and their main focus is other couples and females.
Age also does come into it, I haven’t looked at you so I haven’t a clue what age you are but I have noticed a drop over the years. Again, this is due to the vast amount of men here so don’t take it to heart.
It isn’t out of the realms of possibility that your chat is shite, please take that in the best way possible. You seem low in confidence and this might come across in the chat. Never ever say things like ‘wow you’re out my league’ thats a cardinal sin that’s made daily on here. You’d be better of telling a woman you want to smell her farts as it will turn her off to the same extent.
Advise, get your arse to social events. Try not to overthink this website and what goes on in it. If your mental health is suffering, take a break. Recharge and when you feel upto it, rejoin.
If you need a chat or anything like that man, I’m up for a gossip if Itl help. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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to be honest while we meet single guys occasionally, we also meet couples, but we wont meet just part of a couple and have seen that on alot of couples profiles.
its just another personal preference |
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The male/female ratio on fab is extremely distorted compared to real life. Guys will get their self esteem bruised and battered if you take it too seriously. If it's any consolation, I have female and couple friends here who complain about fab and their negative experiences.
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