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Partners low sex drive
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I’m trying really hard not to take my partners low sex drive personally but its starting to impact my confidence
He is not only completely ok with me being here he actively encourages it and wants to hear about anyone i meet … i just can’t help but think while that is fun it would be so much better if he would fuck me more himself.
We are long distance and honestly when we get together i could spend days in bed together happily. Seems like once is enough for him
Have other couples overcome such a difference in sex drive? I guess i am lucky that i can top up from elsewhere and just have to remind myself its not a rejection of me |
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"I’m trying really hard not to take my partners low sex drive personally but its starting to impact my confidence
He is not only completely ok with me being here he actively encourages it and wants to hear about anyone i meet … i just can’t help but think while that is fun it would be so much better if he would fuck me more himself.
We are long distance and honestly when we get together i could spend days in bed together happily. Seems like once is enough for him
Have other couples overcome such a difference in sex drive? I guess i am lucky that i can top up from elsewhere and just have to remind myself its not a rejection of me "
Sounds like he is using you for food, tell him “no fucking then no cooking” he will soon raise his game  |
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"I’m trying really hard not to take my partners low sex drive personally but its starting to impact my confidence
He is not only completely ok with me being here he actively encourages it and wants to hear about anyone i meet … i just can’t help but think while that is fun it would be so much better if he would fuck me more himself.
We are long distance and honestly when we get together i could spend days in bed together happily. Seems like once is enough for him
Have other couples overcome such a difference in sex drive? I guess i am lucky that i can top up from elsewhere and just have to remind myself its not a rejection of me
Sounds like he is using you for food, tell him “no fucking then no cooking” he will soon raise his game "
PS : I am in Glasgow every week on business and happy to eat out  |
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By *idsAndyMan
over a year ago
Worcestershire |
Like all relationships it's a compromise, if you need to accept he's not going to fully satisfy you then he needs to make the effort to satisfy you as much as possible.
I personally think it's disrespectful to allow your sex drive and sex life to drop. Lots of intimacy comes from sex it's an incredibly important part of any relationship, so if you love your partner you better bloody well make some effort in bed! |
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Our sex drive differs greatly as in I (Mr) would happily have it morning and night most days of the week around work etc etc but quick repetition can be an issue.
She is far more dependent on mood and hormones, time of the month etc etc. Some weeks once or twice in the week is enough for her, the week leading up to her "time of the month" I'm lucky to get a 'sniff'. Other times she's rampant and wants to go three or four times in a night at which point generally twice in the space of a couple of hours is my limit - that's not to say we don't have fun in other ways in between.
We've learnt each others habits and have learnt to deal with them or work around them. I sometimes wonder if we should have other options like FB's for those 'low' times but then worry that would lead to other complications that aren't so easily overcome.
I would say if your arrangement is working and you're both getting what you want emotionally and physically don't worry. He maybe slightly on the cuck side and get as much enjoyment from your antics with others. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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There are so many factors that affect sex drive. Diet, fitness, stress, hormones, schedules, tiredness, kinks, etc.
It’s not uncommon to be out of sync with your partner sometimes and all over each other at other times. You shouldn’t see it as a reflection of your own attractiveness.
We don’t believe it has anything to do with ‘effort’ either. We’re both comfortable enough around each other after 20 years to put our big boy/girl pants on and just say that we aren’t in the mood, without seeing it as a personal attack. No lull lasts for ever and it makes the rampant times so much more enjoyable.
As always, getting to a point where you can freely discuss it with each other should be the aim.
Hope you feel better OP x
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"There are so many factors that affect sex drive. Diet, fitness, stress, hormones, schedules, tiredness, kinks, etc.
It’s not uncommon to be out of sync with your partner sometimes and all over each other at other times. You shouldn’t see it as a reflection of your own attractiveness.
We don’t believe it has anything to do with ‘effort’ either. We’re both comfortable enough around each other after 20 years to put our big boy/girl pants on and just say that we aren’t in the mood, without seeing it as a personal attack. No lull lasts for ever and it makes the rampant times so much more enjoyable.
As always, getting to a point where you can freely discuss it with each other should be the aim.
Hope you feel better OP x
"
This
It's what I was trying to motion, but you said it much better!
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There's a number of factors that could cause it like depression, anxiety, low testosterone which causes low sex drive.
Without exploring deeper its hard to know, suggest sitting down having a serious chat, speaking with counselling if it effects your mental state also.
Probably refrain from these posts as you will just get loads of guys (just seen one) see this as an exploit potential.
Hope you feel better x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I’m trying really hard not to take my partners low sex drive personally but its starting to impact my confidence
He is not only completely ok with me being here he actively encourages it and wants to hear about anyone i meet … i just can’t help but think while that is fun it would be so much better if he would fuck me more himself.
We are long distance and honestly when we get together i could spend days in bed together happily. Seems like once is enough for him
Have other couples overcome such a difference in sex drive? I guess i am lucky that i can top up from elsewhere and just have to remind myself its not a rejection of me "
Unfortunate to hear of this, its all in the " Mind & heart "
People want people to change it is what it is. In life we have to change within to the world outside of us.
Hope all pans out intime. If not move on and share with whom can give the joy you require.
Peace  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Our sex drive differs greatly as in I (Mr) would happily have it morning and night most days of the week around work etc etc but quick repetition can be an issue.
She is far more dependent on mood and hormones, time of the month etc etc. Some weeks once or twice in the week is enough for her, the week leading up to her "time of the month" I'm lucky to get a 'sniff'. Other times she's rampant and wants to go three or four times in a night at which point generally twice in the space of a couple of hours is my limit - that's not to say we don't have fun in other ways in between.
We've learnt each others habits and have learnt to deal with them or work around them. I sometimes wonder if we should have other options like FB's for those 'low' times but then worry that would lead to other complications that aren't so easily overcome.
I would say if your arrangement is working and you're both getting what you want emotionally and physically don't worry. He maybe slightly on the cuck side and get as much enjoyment from your antics with others. "
We humams are far more complex than we seem in looks wise. We are emotional and hormonal.
Mind,heart and soul all have to be alighned.
Peace |
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"There are so many factors that affect sex drive. Diet, fitness, stress, hormones, schedules, tiredness, kinks, etc.
It’s not uncommon to be out of sync with your partner sometimes and all over each other at other times. You shouldn’t see it as a reflection of your own attractiveness.
We don’t believe it has anything to do with ‘effort’ either. We’re both comfortable enough around each other after 20 years to put our big boy/girl pants on and just say that we aren’t in the mood, without seeing it as a personal attack. No lull lasts for ever and it makes the rampant times so much more enjoyable.
As always, getting to a point where you can freely discuss it with each other should be the aim.
Hope you feel better OP x
"
We’ve come to realize this and always try to make things work as much as possible.
Sit him down and talk things out, is it just an occasional lull or something more permanent.
I always advise any guy over 35 with no sex drive/low mood to pay to get bloodwork done privately and check testosterone levels. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"There are so many factors that affect sex drive. Diet, fitness, stress, hormones, schedules, tiredness, kinks, etc.
It’s not uncommon to be out of sync with your partner sometimes and all over each other at other times. You shouldn’t see it as a reflection of your own attractiveness.
We don’t believe it has anything to do with ‘effort’ either. We’re both comfortable enough around each other after 20 years to put our big boy/girl pants on and just say that we aren’t in the mood, without seeing it as a personal attack. No lull lasts for ever and it makes the rampant times so much more enjoyable.
As always, getting to a point where you can freely discuss it with each other should be the aim.
Hope you feel better OP x
We’ve come to realize this and always try to make things work as much as possible.
Sit him down and talk things out, is it just an occasional lull or something more permanent.
I always advise any guy over 35 with no sex drive/low mood to pay to get bloodwork done privately and check testosterone levels. "
Cracking advice |
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"I’m trying really hard not to take my partners low sex drive personally but its starting to impact my confidence
He is not only completely ok with me being here he actively encourages it and wants to hear about anyone i meet … i just can’t help but think while that is fun it would be so much better if he would fuck me more himself.
We are long distance and honestly when we get together i could spend days in bed together happily. Seems like once is enough for him
Have other couples overcome such a difference in sex drive? I guess i am lucky that i can top up from elsewhere and just have to remind myself its not a rejection of me "
.............................
Sorry to hear OP, we're you here before your partner's loss of libido? |
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Thanks everyone
I feel like we can talk it out til blue in the face and it wont make much difference in terms of i just naturally want more and he just naturally wants less
Its not even particularly a change where he has lost an existing libido, his sex drive is just significantly lower than mine |
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He might be just tired from work or something, few years ago I was like this.
I was always tired and just couldn't perform  so K did exactly same as you did got it from somewhere else and I was happy that she did that.
Moving on to now we are in the same situation but reversed K has not been well and the doctors don't know what is wrong
So it can be both ways, I hope it gets better for you, as I know it's not just about sex, it's more than that when you have sex with someone you love. |
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"There are so many factors that affect sex drive. Diet, fitness, stress, hormones, schedules, tiredness, kinks, etc.
It’s not uncommon to be out of sync with your partner sometimes and all over each other at other times. You shouldn’t see it as a reflection of your own attractiveness.
We don’t believe it has anything to do with ‘effort’ either. We’re both comfortable enough around each other after 20 years to put our big boy/girl pants on and just say that we aren’t in the mood, without seeing it as a personal attack. No lull lasts for ever and it makes the rampant times so much more enjoyable.
As always, getting to a point where you can freely discuss it with each other should be the aim.
Hope you feel better OP x
We’ve come to realize this and always try to make things work as much as possible.
Sit him down and talk things out, is it just an occasional lull or something more permanent.
I always advise any guy over 35 with no sex drive/low mood to pay to get bloodwork done privately and check testosterone levels.
Cracking advice "
Male menopause is a thing. But I do feel your pain OP.. I'm in similar predicaments with differing sex. It's tough and frustrating |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Similar issues here. Mrs had an affair, feels guilt.
She didn’t need to have an affair as she had already had MMF for her Biryhday,
We now struggle to have a decent sec life (once a month if I’m lucky) but I have high sex drive but she either won’t or can’t give what I need. Do I cheat too? Or move on? |
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"I’m trying really hard not to take my partners low sex drive personally but its starting to impact my confidence
He is not only completely ok with me being here he actively encourages it and wants to hear about anyone i meet … i just can’t help but think while that is fun it would be so much better if he would fuck me more himself.
We are long distance and honestly when we get together i could spend days in bed together happily. Seems like once is enough for him
Have other couples overcome such a difference in sex drive? I guess i am lucky that i can top up from elsewhere and just have to remind myself its not a rejection of me "
He sounds like a cuckold to me |
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My ex husband and I were so off the scale opposites in the sex drive front…
Well that’s what he led me to believe! Turns out he has a huge porn addiction amongst other things and couldn’t get it up without massive external visual stimulus…
I am categorically not saying that this or he is similar…
BUT crucially is damaged my self esteem so much, I’m pretty sure I will never recover completely from years of rejection!
My point…albeit long and rambling is, if it doesn’t make you happy anymore, for whatever reason. Then DO NOT do it! X |
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Curious whether the sex drive was always the same pattern from the start of the relationship and whether you were happy at the time when you met. Guess its part of your desire of being wanted and craved for.
Could also be hes more of an avoidant type and a bit more detached and may not want that physical sexual side as part of a relationship. Could just be he has a lower libido too, which is often the case in a lot of relationships where one partners is always higher.
Guess the question is whether you feel in the long term this is what you both want and does is satisfy your needs and desires? Does the open relationship and sex on the side fulfil your desire for intimacy?
Ranis sex drive tends to be cyclical where mine is always rampant. Guess I just had to learn the art of self control!
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