We just got back from a brilliant night at Quest in Leeds, only disappointment was a gobby couple who disturbed our session in the dungeon
My wife and I were playing with another couple when Mr and Mrs gobby (along with another similarly gobby couple) come into the room to watch us. They did nothing but laugh and talk ignorantly loudly and immediately put us off our stride.
It was obvious that they were not into the BDSM scene in any way and their behaviour was extremely disappointing. By all accounts it sounds like this couple were bothering other people there too (someone told us they actually left the door to the sauna open because they felt it was a bit too hot in there!!)
Why do some people feel like rules, Etiquette and general good manners don't apply to them?
Sorry, rant over |
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Unfortunately unless its fetish night I don't think that you will get people quiet in dungeons.
To be fair it's not just in dungeons you get those sorts of people. I've been in public play areas and you get people talking about all sorts |
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"Unfortunately unless its fetish night I don't think that you will get people quiet in dungeons.
To be fair it's not just in dungeons you get those sorts of people. I've been in public play areas and you get people talking about all sorts "
Yeah you're probably right. To be fair we're just a bit wound up about it still and needed to vent |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Bdsm nights at clubs are some peoples’ first experience of bdsm and probably aren’t aware of etiquette, club should maybe have mentioned this to people as they signed in that night. "
Even where clubs point it out or have posters up about it unfortunately this can still happen. Sometimes vanillas will go into the dungeon areas specifically to watch and critique or have a giggle. |
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We had this situation once. We were playing with a single female friend and two gobby couples came in, one sat where we were playing, she was fully clothed and started talking about thier vanilla holidays. Penelope took my cock out of her mouth and said "Fascinating as your conversation is, we are trying to have sex here!" They got all huffy and did one....Don't be afraid to confront these gobshites! |
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Speaking as someone who spent a long time on the BDSM scene before diversifying into swinging... the respective etiquettes are very different.
Speaking very generally indeed, swingers seem to perceive kinksters as being standoffish and up themselves, whereas kinksters seem to perceive swingers as being disrespectful and sometimes even unsafe.
It's just people adhering to different sets of unspoken rules.
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"We had this situation once. We were playing with a single female friend and two gobby couples came in, one sat where we were playing, she was fully clothed and started talking about thier vanilla holidays. Penelope took my cock out of her mouth and said "Fascinating as your conversation is, we are trying to have sex here!" They got all huffy and did one....Don't be afraid to confront these gobshites! "
I wish I had the nerve to stand up for myself! For me personally it's that I was in a very submissive headspace, I was being flogged and teased I was also blindfolded so that added to everything, and very emersed in what was happening, that it was very jarring to be pulled out of the scene and took me so off guard that I just shut down, I ended play after a good few minutes of them touching my toys (with C's consent) , and making a fuss over them being loud. I think looking back I could have handled the situation better, asked them to leave or be quiet, told staff, but in that moment I was just super overwhelmed by it all and it totally ruined it for me. We did have fun in a private playroom after but I was still on edge because you could still hear them  some people just don't know how to behave. |
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"
It's just people adhering to different sets of unspoken rules.
"
Except that this is literally one of the rules at that club. When you're first given the tour of the place and get taken to the dungeon they tell you to be quiet and respectful if you're watching because it can disturb the mood of the scene being performed |
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"It's just people adhering to different sets of unspoken rules.
Except that this is literally one of the rules at that club. When you're first given the tour of the place and get taken to the dungeon they tell you to be quiet and respectful if you're watching because it can disturb the mood of the scene being performed"
Good! I'm glad they tell people to do that now. No excuses for the offenders in this case, then. |
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