FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > The term ‘daddy’
The term ‘daddy’
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"Makes me wonder what kind of general conversations you're having where "daddy" crops up enough to become irksome... "I was thinking the same 
It always gave me the ick in the past, and then one day K said it in the right scenario and it clicked  
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"Does anyone else find the term ‘daddy’ slightly cringe and creepy? I get there’s a time and place for it behind closed doors but I find it rather irks me in general conversation. Anyone else have the same issue?" I’ve always called my dad daddy, I’d probably vom a little if used in a sexual context  | |||
i'll keep schtum, as don't want to irk anyone.
 Px | |||
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"different stroke for different folks.
i'll keep schtum, as don't want to irk anyone.
Px"Shhhhh... | |||
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"Does anyone else find the term ‘daddy’ slightly cringe and creepy? I get there’s a time and place for it behind closed doors but I find it rather irks me in general conversation. Anyone else have the same issue?" I think its slimey in private or anywhere | |||
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"different stroke for different folks.
i'll keep schtum, as don't want to irk anyone.
Px " | |||
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"The only thing I find 'cringe and creepy' is kink shaming. " | |||
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"In messages I think it's not the right place In the heat of the moment with the right guy it can be the hottest thing ever" This | |||
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"The only thing I find 'cringe and creepy' is kink shaming. " Some kinks need shaming … there are a lot of people in prison for them. The whole daddy thing is a big turn off for us (which I think was the original question). Each to their own though. | |||
"The only thing I find 'cringe and creepy' is kink shaming. Some kinks need shaming … there are a lot of people in prison for them. The whole daddy thing is a big turn off for us (which I think was the original question). Each to their own though. " Very true | |||
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"Nothing wrong, in the right place. Like other 'Taboo' words such as slut, sl@ve, master, etc if I used it at work or with friends and family, I'd expect a few odd looks at least. But in the certain circumstances... 'Daddy' is a combination of dominant and caring, with an age difference, and a dash of Taboo. " | |||
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"just an American term that has become popular in uk though porn/media social/ sitcoms .. Think its really just tongue in cheek stuff ... I have a lady playmate that calls me Daddy (not from me asking her to ) just she seems to blurt it out sometimes in sex .. I find it amusing and just laugh mostly ... the irony of it is funny with me as a trans woman " | |||
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"ok , Ill throw this open to debate, how many of the guys would like to call their partners 'mommy' during a shag !!!! yea thought so "What about lesbians using that word, or rather the non Americanised version? | |||
"Does anyone else find the term ‘daddy’ slightly cringe and creepy? I get there’s a time and place for it behind closed doors but I find it rather irks me in general conversation. Anyone else have the same issue?" The boss calling you Daddy slight boundaries crossed  | |||
"ok , Ill throw this open to debate, how many of the guys would like to call their partners 'mommy' during a shag !!!! yea thought so
What about lesbians using that word, or rather the non Americanised version?"lesbians arent guys normally | |||
"ok , Ill throw this open to debate, how many of the guys would like to call their partners 'mommy' during a shag !!!! yea thought so
What about lesbians using that word, or rather the non Americanised version?
lesbians arent guys normally "Really? Not sure of your point. | |||
"ok , Ill throw this open to debate, how many of the guys would like to call their partners 'mommy' during a shag !!!! yea thought so
What about lesbians using that word, or rather the non Americanised version?
lesbians arent guys normally
Really?
Not sure of your point."well I said guys using the word 'mommy' and you said what about lesbians | |||
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"ok , Ill throw this open to debate, how many of the guys would like to call their partners 'mommy' during a shag !!!! yea thought so
What about lesbians using that word, or rather the non Americanised version?
lesbians arent guys normally
Really?
Not sure of your point.
well I said guys using the word 'mommy' and you said what about lesbians "Hi there, yep, you lobbed something else in to contrast with women using 'daddy', I just threw another connotation in, in the same way. From my experience a not insignificant number of women like to call a male partner that, I've certainly had it, without seeking or encouraging, but if it's something the lady gets something from, then it's all good. As to how often men want the equivalent, I've no real idea, a straight woman would obviously have a much better knowledge of that. So I can only speculate that it's quite rare. As for the lesbian option, it's a huge porn niche (mainly for men I'd guess?), but from experience of talking to lesbian & bi women it's far from an unheard of role play. At end of the day, if we are all consenting adults it's nobody else's business what we call each other! And whilst some do nothing for me, we usually want to please each other surely, so if it makes her happy, I'm happy x | |||
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"Each to their own but it would be a totally turn off for me if someone asked me to use it in any sexual scenario x" 2nd that | |||
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"Each to their own but it would be a totally turn off for me if someone asked me to use it in any sexual scenario x 2nd that "Definitely | |||
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"Sorry but I’ve just received a really disturbing message from a older man in this post detailing every detail of a younger person he met even said she was younger than his daughter I’m presuming he has a adult daughter…and then went on to say very graphic things that actually made me feel physically sick I then proceeded to tell him this and ask why he would send me this he blocked me. I’m absolutely disgusted l. I will obviously be reporting this individual. " Got the same message! | |||
"Sorry but I’ve just received a really disturbing message from a older man in this post detailing every detail of a younger person he met even said she was younger than his daughter I’m presuming he has a adult daughter…and then went on to say very graphic things that actually made me feel physically sick I then proceeded to tell him this and ask why he would send me this he blocked me. I’m absolutely disgusted l. I will obviously be reporting this individual. Got the same message! " oh bloody hell. What a horrible man. I have reported him so hope he can’t send any more of those messages out | |||
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"Sorry but I’ve just received a really disturbing message from a older man in this post detailing every detail of a younger person he met even said she was younger than his daughter I’m presuming he has a adult daughter…and then went on to say very graphic things that actually made me feel physically sick I then proceeded to tell him this and ask why he would send me this he blocked me. I’m absolutely disgusted l. I will obviously be reporting this individual. Got the same message! oh bloody hell. What a horrible man. I have reported him so hope he can’t send any more of those messages out" Why he thinks a woman would be interested in reading that is beyond me x | |||
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"But in the certain circumstances... 'Daddy' is a combination of dominant and caring, with an age difference, and a dash of Taboo." I get the first three, it's the dash of taboo I don't get. I gather that family is quite a popular porn search but as a dad of two I just find the whole thing very disturbing. However if people like that sort of thing then fill your boots, it's none of my business. | |||
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"Sorry but I’ve just received a really disturbing message from a older man in this post detailing every detail of a younger person he met even said she was younger than his daughter I’m presuming he has a adult daughter…and then went on to say very graphic things that actually made me feel physically sick I then proceeded to tell him this and ask why he would send me this he blocked me. I’m absolutely disgusted l. I will obviously be reporting this individual. " thats revolting and needs reporting to admin | |||
"its a kink its between consenting adults its not what most people think it is ...the mummy and daddy kinks are a lot lot bigger than people think it has zero to do with underage ,, its not for me personally and i understand its not for a lot but its a kink mainly a dom/sub age play (lawful ) type kink and we should not be kink shaming we can disagree with it yes %100 but shame those who are into it no... what next burn people who wear school uniforms to fancy dress ? its not a tabboo subject its just a kink between consenting adults ...zero to do with the sick stuff" Well I have seen many threads over the years lambasting people who are into school uniform role playing. Certainly not my thing and not about to start a whole other argument. Where do the boundaries end if it's under the umbrella of a "kink" ? | |||
"its a kink its between consenting adults its not what most people think it is ...the mummy and daddy kinks are a lot lot bigger than people think it has zero to do with underage ,, its not for me personally and i understand its not for a lot but its a kink mainly a dom/sub age play (lawful ) type kink and we should not be kink shaming we can disagree with it yes %100 but shame those who are into it no... what next burn people who wear school uniforms to fancy dress ? its not a tabboo subject its just a kink between consenting adults ...zero to do with the sick stuff Well I have seen many threads over the years lambasting people who are into school uniform role playing. Certainly not my thing and not about to start a whole other argument. Where do the boundaries end if it's under the umbrella of a "kink" ? " If it's legal and consensual. Simple as that. | |||
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"The only thing I find 'cringe and creepy' is kink shaming. " Agree. | |||
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"The only thing I find 'cringe and creepy' is kink shaming. Agree. " | |||
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"The only thing I find 'cringe and creepy' is kink shaming. Some kinks need shaming … there are a lot of people in prison for them." There's a BIG difference between a kink/fetish/roleplay/fantasy/whatever enjoyed by consenting adults... and actual crimes. Jeez. | |||
"The only thing I find 'cringe and creepy' is kink shaming. Some kinks need shaming … there are a lot of people in prison for them. There's a BIG difference between a kink/fetish/roleplay/fantasy/whatever enjoyed by consenting adults... and actual crimes. Jeez."  | |||
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"The only thing I find 'cringe and creepy' is kink shaming. " Well said | |||
"The only thing I find 'cringe and creepy' is kink shaming. " Totally this. | |||
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"Maybe this extract from BDSM site will help add clarity:- "Note: for the uninitiated out there, Daddy Doms don’t want a child. They aren’t pedophiles, and the submissives who identify as littles or babygirls aren’t trying to be children to suit someone’s dark fantasy. This is a power exchange dynamic as with any other part of D/s. I liken Daddy Dom and littles (DD/lg) to the gentler side of D/s. We are all fully functioning adults with perfectly normal sexual desires and appetites. The Definition of a Daddy Dom Daddy Doms are caring and nurturing. They want only the best for you. Sometimes, they’re strict and stern. Usually when you screw up. They might relent if you bat your eyelashes, pout a little, or otherwise look really cute and pitiful. But only if what you did wasn’t that bad. Break a standing rule or show disrespect, and all bets are off. Daddies will definitely make rules. Some are sexy fun. Some are for your own health and well-being. Follow the rules. It only leads to good things. I promise. Daddy Doms know the power of a good cuddle – for you. You might have to show them that cuddles are good for sad or stressed Daddies, too. Daddies laugh and smile when you’re happy and to make you happy. Laughing and smiling during the kinky times is perfectly okay – and should be done as often as possible. A kind, generous, loving (am I laying it on too thick?) Daddy will overlook moments of sassy-but-not-quite-bratty behavior. Unfortunately, they almost never ignore brattiness. Le sigh. They have their own playful side. Sometimes you’ll bring it out in them, and sometimes they’ll use it to make you smile. If you have a stuffed animal (aka stuffie), good for you! Daddies need stuffies, too. We are their stuffies. They call you “Princess” and “babygirl” because you are. They call you their “slut” because you are. Bask in those words. Daddies like spankings as much as you do. They’re not just giving them to you for you. They hate punishments as much as you do. They’d rather you just did what you were supposed to do. Daddy Doms are tenderhearted but not pushovers. Never, ever forget, they are a Dominant first. They expect you to communicate with them. (By the way, you should expect the same from them.) They expect you to live up to your end of the D/s dynamic, whatever that looks like in your relationship. But they also want to play, laugh, and have fun. It’s not all strict protocol. It’s not all “Yes, Sirs” and kneeling (although that’s nice, too). A sweet “Yes, Daddy!” will get you much further than pouting and dragging your feet. Because in the end, you’ll either do what you’re supposed to do or you’ll face the consequences. They don’t like it anymore than you do, I promise. There are a million other things I could say about Daddy Doms, especially my own amazing Daddy, John Brownstone. But I think you get the idea. Being a Daddy or being his “little one” or “babygirl” isn’t about children. It’s a way to be vulnerable and still playful in the middle of what can be a really dark, erotic kinky thing like BDSM. It’s not for everyone, even in the world of D/s, and that’s okay." "This | |||
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That's disappointing. Live and let live. | |||
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"The only thing I find 'cringe and creepy' is kink shaming. Totally this. " | |||
"Does anyone else find the term ‘daddy’ slightly cringe and creepy? I get there’s a time and place for it behind closed doors but I find it rather irks me in general conversation. Anyone else have the same issue?" It's not for me maybe because my actual biological daddy is still alive and my neurodivergent brain can't separate and partition the word. Furthermore, I have a complex and at times distressing relationship with my bio father so Daddy is not a word I would use when I'm trying to relax and be comfortable and vulnerable. However, I understand the context for other people and their BDSM play and in sugar daddy relationships. One couple I play with uses Daddy so I use Sir or Mister. And since I have a gentleman kink, that works well for me. I'm not much of a sub.....or I would be a very bad sub..so domination is not massive in my sexuality. | |||
"Fuck, are we really kink-shaming on Fab?
That's disappointing. Live and let live. "Fab is a cruel cruel world. | |||
"As someone that has no issue indulging taboo fantasies, use of the word daddy has no issue with me... It's surprisingly commonplace though, bordering on common parlance among couples (maybe porn is to blame, who knows) Mummy does not get the same attention, MILF however is very common. I guess guys like being called daddy as much as some women enjoy calling them daddy. But I doubt most women would enjoy being called mummy or mum as much as some guys enjoy calling them mummy. Personally, the idea of calling a woman mummy or mum during sex does feel a bit weird, I'd still do it if that's the game we're playing though. Calling a guy daddy however doesn't feel weird to me. I don't really understand why one works and one doesn't." I'm technically a Gilf... I'd have a zero interest in someone saying 'fuck me harder granny' if I'm honest | |||
"As someone that has no issue indulging taboo fantasies, use of the word daddy has no issue with me... It's surprisingly commonplace though, bordering on common parlance among couples (maybe porn is to blame, who knows) Mummy does not get the same attention, MILF however is very common. I guess guys like being called daddy as much as some women enjoy calling them daddy. But I doubt most women would enjoy being called mummy or mum as much as some guys enjoy calling them mummy. Personally, the idea of calling a woman mummy or mum during sex does feel a bit weird, I'd still do it if that's the game we're playing though. Calling a guy daddy however doesn't feel weird to me. I don't really understand why one works and one doesn't. I'm technically a Gilf... I'd have a zero interest in someone saying 'fuck me harder granny' if I'm honest "Sorry to all those other early 40's folk this may kink shame by the way | |||
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"we find it awful." not kink shaming, just saying we wouldn't want anyone to call Hubby that during playtime | |||
"we find it awful. not kink shaming, just saying we wouldn't want anyone to call Hubby that during playtime" I love that you felt the need to post again to point that out. As did I in fairness!... I find it more bizarre that folk seem to spend a fair bit of time apologising on here for what they don't actually like in case it offends someone else, vs being able to say 'well it's not personally for me'... And then being possibly called out on it  | |||
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"I love that you felt the need to post again to point that out. As did I in fairness!... I find it more bizarre that folk seem to spend a fair bit of time apologising on here for what they don't actually like in case it offends someone else, vs being able to say 'well it's not personally for me'... And then being possibly called out on it "There's another popular saying on another site, which is YKINMK, full version being; "your kink is not my kink and that's okay." I don't think it's the perfectly reasonable comments such as "it's not for me" or "it's a turn off for us" etc that are being called out. Such comments are not shaming in any way and don't need any explanation or apology, in my opinion. And I'd agree that it would seem in recent times, some people's "don't kink shame me!" reflex is very sensitive. If I were to guess, however, I think it's more the type of comments that go one further by insinuating - either implicitly or explicitly - that a kink is creepy/disgusting/etc, and therefore so is anyone who enjoys it. I think it's important to draw those lines of distinction if and when we want to talk about shaming. | |||
"I love that you felt the need to post again to point that out. As did I in fairness!... I find it more bizarre that folk seem to spend a fair bit of time apologising on here for what they don't actually like in case it offends someone else, vs being able to say 'well it's not personally for me'... And then being possibly called out on it
There's another popular saying on another site, which is YKINMK, full version being; "your kink is not my kink and that's okay."
I don't think it's the perfectly reasonable comments such as "it's not for me" or "it's a turn off for us" etc that are being called out. Such comments are not shaming in any way and don't need any explanation or apology, in my opinion. And I'd agree that it would seem in recent times, some people's "don't kink shame me!" reflex is very sensitive.
If I were to guess, however, I think it's more the type of comments that go one further by insinuating - either implicitly or explicitly - that a kink is creepy/disgusting/etc, and therefore so is anyone who enjoys it. I think it's important to draw those lines of distinction if and when we want to talk about shaming."That's basically what I said, no? | |||
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"I think you may need to revisit yur definition of kinks. As I’d be fair in saying that people are in prison for sexual crimes. Calling someone daddy has nothing to do with crimes gainst children.it’s scary you dont make the distinction. Let me remind you why all of your neighbors and coworkers don’t know you are swingers. Because there are people so think YOU are creepy people. Shame you can’t see the dAmage and not further the bigotry" Well, I'm not sure about you... But my daughter knows I'm on the site, as do a few of my friends. I don't tend to discuss my sex life or lack of it with my fellow colleagues in general but hey ho | |||
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"The only thing I find 'cringe and creepy' is kink shaming. " *Applauds* | |||
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"Does anyone else find the term ‘daddy’ slightly cringe and creepy? I get there’s a time and place for it behind closed doors but I find it rather irks me in general conversation. Anyone else have the same issue?" It’s what I call a ‘tightrope’ scenario. A taboo fraught with the reality of abuse in the real world. Nonetheless, it can be a sensual consensual kinky fantasy and role play with the focus on Daddy as Dominant, Guide, Master without any connotations of ‘father’ | |||
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"It’s an absolute no for us . " I have kids so it makes me skin cruel if someone calls me that | |||
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"It’s an absolute no for us . I have kids so it makes me skin cruel if someone calls me that" Same here pal the joys of being a dad eh. Ridiculous it's called kink shaming when the thing shouldn't even be a kink but there you go | |||
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"It’s an absolute no for us . I have kids so it makes me skin cruel if someone calls me that Same here pal the joys of being a dad eh. Ridiculous it's called kink shaming when the thing shouldn't even be a kink but there you go " As people have pointed out... It's not for you, great, fine. But it is something for many of us... It's not illegal, it's between consenting adults... I'm a 42 year old woman and my *daddy* is actually younger than me. Just because you don't get it doesn't mean it shouldn't be a kink. I'm sure there are things you like that would turn me right off, but I respect your right to enjoy them. | |||
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""I get it" the term that's used between a father and there child is sexualised and you're not allowed to call it out or you have some sort of kink phobia "I agree with you. I do feel very strongly about this kind of thing, and the the whole world of ddlg. I don't have an issue with the dynamic, but the terms used and then other things like age play make my stomach turn and I don't think we should continue to normalise it like it's somehow OK just because it is between consenting adults. But that's a debate I've been involved in too many times and it always ends in disaster. | |||
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""I get it" the term that's used between a father and there child is sexualised and you're not allowed to call it out or you have some sort of kink phobia
I agree with you. I do feel very strongly about this kind of thing, and the the whole world of ddlg. I don't have an issue with the dynamic, but the terms used and then other things like age play make my stomach turn and I don't think we should continue to normalise it like it's somehow OK just because it is between consenting adults.
But that's a debate I've been involved in too many times and it always ends in disaster. "Yes we also find the whole thing creepy and distasteful and avoid anyone that thinks it's ok to have on their profile Wine | |||
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