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Throuple
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Having seen reported recently about a celebrity throuple it made me wonder about these relationships(whether the reported celebrity one is real or just a sad attempt at raising their profiles is neither here or there).
Is there anyone on fab who is in or has been in a relationship like this. How do the people involved handle the inevitable issues all relationships have. Is it more difficult to sustain a relationship like this.Is/was it worthwhile for everyone involved or do they fall apart more easily than traditional relationships. I'm very curious to know how you handled the relationship. |
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I'm in an MFF one and the three of us have been dating for a year, it's my first poly relationship but I'm they've had other relationships before me.
In answer to the original question we try to make sure everyone is having needs met. Sometimes this means frank conversations, expressing concern or asking awkward questions. Honest communication about feelings and being open about things is key. |
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"I'm in an MFF one and the three of us have been dating for a year, it's my first poly relationship but I'm they've had other relationships before me.
In answer to the original question we try to make sure everyone is having needs met. Sometimes this means frank conversations, expressing concern or asking awkward questions. Honest communication about feelings and being open about things is key."
That’s amazing how did you meet? |
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"I'm in an MFF one and the three of us have been dating for a year, it's my first poly relationship but I'm they've had other relationships before me.
In answer to the original question we try to make sure everyone is having needs met. Sometimes this means frank conversations, expressing concern or asking awkward questions. Honest communication about feelings and being open about things is key.
That’s amazing how did you meet?"
In a swingers club |
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"Does a frank conversation mwan someones getting some bad news they have to accept "
Sometimes, but often there's no blame, no anger it's more I feel I have this need that I want met, I'd like time put aside to meet my need. It's alot more diary planning and compromise over dinner than the orgy filled lifestyle people imagine |
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We have ffm friends in a throuple. The two women are bi and got married last year. One of the women has a bf who lives with them. He was previously her ex from before she met her wife. They occasionally have threesomes and the bf will go on dates with the wife of his gf. I don't think he has sex with her without the gf there.
It sounds complex but they're really happy. |
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"I’ve had them before and when they work it’s amazing, just have to all be open, caring and honest with each other, if one isn’t, the whole thing can wobble and break "
Awesome! Do you find that power dynamics play into it at all? Like the interplay between whether they are Dom or sub , or anything like that? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I wasn't sure if anyone would answer honestly or if it would just descend into the would love to have 2 women.
Thanks callum for your responses and giving some insight into your relationship. Also yes greensleeves that does seem like a very complicated relationship. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Having seen reported recently about a celebrity throuple it made me wonder about these relationships(whether the reported celebrity one is real or just a sad attempt at raising their profiles is neither here or there).
Is there anyone on fab who is in or has been in a relationship like this. How do the people involved handle the inevitable issues all relationships have. Is it more difficult to sustain a relationship like this.Is/was it worthwhile for everyone involved or do they fall apart more easily than traditional relationships. I'm very curious to know how you handled the relationship. "
How do we handle issues? Like adults. We chat, we discuss, we apologise or compromise depending on the situation.
Is it more difficult? Nope. Not for me. I have multiple people to love and who love me. It's more time consuming in some ways but that would depend on the people. None of us cohabitate so it's less time consuming than having a live in partner.
Is it worthwhile? Absolutely.
Do they fall apart more easily? For those who haven't done the emotional work and self-reflection, yes. For those who have worked on their jealousy/envy issues and put the work in, I don't believe they 'fall apart' any more than mono relationships.
My set up is 2 local Doms, 1 local switch gf, one LDR Dom and a couple of comet partners.
My 3 local partners and I are in some sort of polycule rather than a triad but the same logistics apply. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I was in one such throuple with a Fab couple back during my 2014-17 days of swinging up north.
Whilst it was unspoken between us three (like, we never actually outright put a name or status to us as a "throuple"), it was something that was obvious to everyone including ourselves in terms of the actions and stuff we did together.
I was the only single male the Mr allowed to spend time alone with the Mrs both in a MMF threesome scenario between us, or when the Mrs was in a gangbang/greedy girl scenario and the Mr had to go pop out for a smoke/piss/drink. In our swinging circle back then, any invite for either myself or the couple to any event like hot tub parties or swing socials was automatically extended to all three of us as long as one of us was attending. We came as a package and everyone knew it.
I was also the only Fab single male swinger they actually met up with IRL for non-swinging activities. They took me on my first and only sightseeing trip to Scarborough when I told them I wanted to see the seaside. I was the only one who met their kids too; their youngest son joined us three on the Scarborough trip! We often also had nights out in town having drinks and partying. Sometimes it was the three of us, sometimes it was me and the Mr on a lads' night out of sorts, sometimes it was me and the Mrs only and boy I remember the incredulous looks of envy everywhere I went back then being accompanied by her on my arm.  
Sadly all good things had to have an ending. In the end the couple I was in a throuple with broke up despite a decade being together due to relationship issues between them which I was not aware or involved in, and we all cut ties as they retired from swinging. Recently found out the Mr has been back on Fab since 2020 during the pandemic, but we've not reconnected. The Mrs is still retired. I think she's had enough sex from her swinging life to last her three lifetimes, so she's not going to be missing much.
I do still miss them both and the fun times we had though. The biggest life lesson I learnt from the throuple thing with them was that it's not the official stated status between people that make relationships, it's the actions and memories all parties do and create together that do. |
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"Something we would most definately look into, its on our agenda. Communication is blatently the key here, no forced or fakery and total upfrontness!
S"
Yeah agreed. But I guess it’s the same in any relationship |
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"Something we would most definately look into, its on our agenda. Communication is blatently the key here, no forced or fakery and total upfrontness!
S
Yeah agreed. But I guess it’s the same in any relationship "
Yeah agreed, but to get the 3 of you in sync, thats a feat! However, we believe that these situations work better via natural progression, and they can and do work so its always possible, if rare.
S |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think it’s something that works better if it’s NOT an established couple “adding” a third. If you add a third to an established couple, the couple will always be higher in the hierarchy. For a throuple to work there are four separate relationships: A&B, A&C, B&C and ABC. It can’t be A&B in a relationship with C (if that makes sense). |
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"I think it’s something that works better if it’s NOT an established couple “adding” a third. If you add a third to an established couple, the couple will always be higher in the hierarchy. For a throuple to work there are four separate relationships: A&B, A&C, B&C and ABC. It can’t be A&B in a relationship with C (if that makes sense). "
I guess the difficult bit is bringing that together initially, for it to form evenly |
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We've essentially spoke about this between us and the prospect would be amazing and offer more depth to an already deep relationship of ours, we are best friends and partners, we don't argue and have a brilliant internal dynamic, so the idea of sharing that and creating a nice synergy across all 3 would be amazing.
But it's a "if we found someone, we clicked etc then who knows", we'd certainly not go out our way as a mission to do so.
Much like fab, see what happens. |
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"We've essentially spoke about this between us and the prospect would be amazing and offer more depth to an already deep relationship of ours, we are best friends and partners, we don't argue and have a brilliant internal dynamic, so the idea of sharing that and creating a nice synergy across all 3 would be amazing.
Yeah this makes sense…the only thing is that it does make it harder when you’re a single girl to find potential dates, when no one is actively looking for it
But it's a "if we found someone, we clicked etc then who knows", we'd certainly not go out our way as a mission to do so.
Much like fab, see what happens."
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Someone above mentioned natural progression and that's how mine is working out. I've been meeting the same couple for over three years for mmf but it's been noticable how, since Covid restrictions ended, we have spent more time socialising, the sex is more affectionate between all of us (and longer and more sensual) and we are considering me visiting them on holiday.
For me, 3 has definitely been the magic number! |
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"Someone above mentioned natural progression and that's how mine is working out. I've been meeting the same couple for over three years for mmf but it's been noticable how, since Covid restrictions ended, we have spent more time socialising, the sex is more affectionate between all of us (and longer and more sensual) and we are considering me visiting them on holiday.
For me, 3 has definitely been the magic number!"
Good to hear it! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I’ve been in a throuple dynamic a few years ago and it was absolutely beautiful! We all lived in the same cottage and shared a bed, it was very wholesome and sweet! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I’ve been in a throuple dynamic a few years ago and it was absolutely beautiful! We all lived in the same cottage and shared a bed, it was very wholesome and sweet!
How did it happen? "
I was already poly for a while and was seeing one of them before they moved house to a little self sufficient cottage in some woods and asked if I wanted to join them. It was a little weird at first but to be honest was one of the loveliest experiences I’ve ever had with them both! |
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"I’ve been in a throuple dynamic a few years ago and it was absolutely beautiful! We all lived in the same cottage and shared a bed, it was very wholesome and sweet!
How did it happen?
I was already poly for a while and was seeing one of them before they moved house to a little self sufficient cottage in some woods and asked if I wanted to join them. It was a little weird at first but to be honest was one of the loveliest experiences I’ve ever had with them both! "
Sounds pretty special |
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"I was teetering on the edge of such a mff scenario before I met Mr.. The idea is something we'd be open to though but wouldn't actively seek."
Yeah that seems to be a theme, where couples seem to be open to the idea but wouldn’t actually seek it out. |
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By *eyeYCouple
over a year ago
Nr Leicester |
"I was teetering on the edge of such a mff scenario before I met Mr.. The idea is something we'd be open to though but wouldn't actively seek.
Yeah that seems to be a theme, where couples seem to be open to the idea but wouldn’t actually seek it out."
Sometimes hard enough work to find another for an evening.. lol!  |
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"I was teetering on the edge of such a mff scenario before I met Mr.. The idea is something we'd be open to though but wouldn't actively seek.
Yeah that seems to be a theme, where couples seem to be open to the idea but wouldn’t actually seek it out.
Sometimes hard enough work to find another for an evening.. lol! "
Yeah maybe it is a case it’s just easier if it happens before a couple is properly established |
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We started seeing a f and she wanted a throuple relationship. It was all great to begin with she was really sexy and fun but she got really full on really quickly. She told her family about us after our first date. She talked about buying each matching jewellery after our second date and about having kids together a few weeks later. Lock down was a good excuse for us to end it |
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"We started seeing a f and she wanted a throuple relationship. It was all great to begin with she was really sexy and fun but she got really full on really quickly. She told her family about us after our first date. She talked about buying each matching jewellery after our second date and about having kids together a few weeks later. Lock down was a good excuse for us to end it"
That’s quite intense! |
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"We started seeing a f and she wanted a throuple relationship. It was all great to begin with she was really sexy and fun but she got really full on really quickly. She told her family about us after our first date. She talked about buying each matching jewellery after our second date and about having kids together a few weeks later. Lock down was a good excuse for us to end it
That’s quite intense! "
The sex was intense too |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Having seen reported recently about a celebrity throuple it made me wonder about these relationships(whether the reported celebrity one is real or just a sad attempt at raising their profiles is neither here or there).
Is there anyone on fab who is in or has been in a relationship like this. How do the people involved handle the inevitable issues all relationships have. Is it more difficult to sustain a relationship like this.Is/was it worthwhile for everyone involved or do they fall apart more easily than traditional relationships. I'm very curious to know how you handled the relationship.
How do we handle issues? Like adults. We chat, we discuss, we apologise or compromise depending on the situation.
Is it more difficult? Nope. Not for me. I have multiple people to love and who love me. It's more time consuming in some ways but that would depend on the people. None of us cohabitate so it's less time consuming than having a live in partner.
Is it worthwhile? Absolutely.
Do they fall apart more easily? For those who haven't done the emotional work and self-reflection, yes. For those who have worked on their jealousy/envy issues and put the work in, I don't believe they 'fall apart' any more than mono relationships.
My set up is 2 local Doms, 1 local switch gf, one LDR Dom and a couple of comet partners.
My 3 local partners and I are in some sort of polycule rather than a triad but the same logistics apply. "
Aren't you all just fuck buddies?
A throuple or quaple or octple (can go on) is surly people living together in relationships under the same roof is it not?
Multiple partners who meet to fuck, play and have a good time isnt my interpretation of throupe  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We are sort of exploring a FWB relationship with a friend of ours.
More than a unicorn but less than a throuple. Dinner, dates and fun separately and all together. But we won't be entering a full relationship with that person as we enjoy our established relationship as just the two of us. All open, honest and discussed to manage expectations. We want our friend to feel valued and treasured as a friend but with the benefits of sex.
I'll report back on how successfully we navigate it.
|
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"We are sort of exploring a FWB relationship with a friend of ours.
More than a unicorn but less than a throuple. Dinner, dates and fun separately and all together. But we won't be entering a full relationship with that person as we enjoy our established relationship as just the two of us. All open, honest and discussed to manage expectations. We want our friend to feel valued and treasured as a friend but with the benefits of sex.
I'll report back on how successfully we navigate it.
"
We want the same |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We are sort of exploring a FWB relationship with a friend of ours.
More than a unicorn but less than a throuple. Dinner, dates and fun separately and all together. But we won't be entering a full relationship with that person as we enjoy our established relationship as just the two of us. All open, honest and discussed to manage expectations. We want our friend to feel valued and treasured as a friend but with the benefits of sex.
I'll report back on how successfully we navigate it.
"
Best of luck with that! That sounds like a great thing if it does work out. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Having seen reported recently about a celebrity throuple it made me wonder about these relationships(whether the reported celebrity one is real or just a sad attempt at raising their profiles is neither here or there).
Is there anyone on fab who is in or has been in a relationship like this. How do the people involved handle the inevitable issues all relationships have. Is it more difficult to sustain a relationship like this.Is/was it worthwhile for everyone involved or do they fall apart more easily than traditional relationships. I'm very curious to know how you handled the relationship.
How do we handle issues? Like adults. We chat, we discuss, we apologise or compromise depending on the situation.
Is it more difficult? Nope. Not for me. I have multiple people to love and who love me. It's more time consuming in some ways but that would depend on the people. None of us cohabitate so it's less time consuming than having a live in partner.
Is it worthwhile? Absolutely.
Do they fall apart more easily? For those who haven't done the emotional work and self-reflection, yes. For those who have worked on their jealousy/envy issues and put the work in, I don't believe they 'fall apart' any more than mono relationships.
My set up is 2 local Doms, 1 local switch gf, one LDR Dom and a couple of comet partners.
My 3 local partners and I are in some sort of polycule rather than a triad but the same logistics apply.
Aren't you all just fuck buddies?
A throuple or quaple or octple (can go on) is surly people living together in relationships under the same roof is it not?
Multiple partners who meet to fuck, play and have a good time isnt my interpretation of throupe "
We all have our own lives we have no wish to detangle from.
2 people can be a couple and not live together, and I'm guessing we all spend as much time with one another as any couple living together would, it just may not always be all 4 of us. It might be 2 or 3.
And no, we don't just meet, play and fuck. We have deep and meaningful relationships and a lot of love for one another. We go out for dinner or to music events, we go on holiday together, or in various combinations of us.
Co-habiting is just not on our wish list for any of us for the foreseeable future.
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"Having seen reported recently about a celebrity throuple it made me wonder about these relationships(whether the reported celebrity one is real or just a sad attempt at raising their profiles is neither here or there).
Is there anyone on fab who is in or has been in a relationship like this. How do the people involved handle the inevitable issues all relationships have. Is it more difficult to sustain a relationship like this.Is/was it worthwhile for everyone involved or do they fall apart more easily than traditional relationships. I'm very curious to know how you handled the relationship.
How do we handle issues? Like adults. We chat, we discuss, we apologise or compromise depending on the situation.
Is it more difficult? Nope. Not for me. I have multiple people to love and who love me. It's more time consuming in some ways but that would depend on the people. None of us cohabitate so it's less time consuming than having a live in partner.
Is it worthwhile? Absolutely.
Do they fall apart more easily? For those who haven't done the emotional work and self-reflection, yes. For those who have worked on their jealousy/envy issues and put the work in, I don't believe they 'fall apart' any more than mono relationships.
My set up is 2 local Doms, 1 local switch gf, one LDR Dom and a couple of comet partners.
My 3 local partners and I are in some sort of polycule rather than a triad but the same logistics apply.
Aren't you all just fuck buddies?
A throuple or quaple or octple (can go on) is surly people living together in relationships under the same roof is it not?
Multiple partners who meet to fuck, play and have a good time isnt my interpretation of throupe
We all have our own lives we have no wish to detangle from.
2 people can be a couple and not live together, and I'm guessing we all spend as much time with one another as any couple living together would, it just may not always be all 4 of us. It might be 2 or 3.
And no, we don't just meet, play and fuck. We have deep and meaningful relationships and a lot of love for one another. We go out for dinner or to music events, we go on holiday together, or in various combinations of us.
Co-habiting is just not on our wish list for any of us for the foreseeable future.
"
I guess there are many ways of it. Maybe it’s more sustainable the way you guys do it |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Having seen reported recently about a celebrity throuple it made me wonder about these relationships(whether the reported celebrity one is real or just a sad attempt at raising their profiles is neither here or there).
Is there anyone on fab who is in or has been in a relationship like this. How do the people involved handle the inevitable issues all relationships have. Is it more difficult to sustain a relationship like this.Is/was it worthwhile for everyone involved or do they fall apart more easily than traditional relationships. I'm very curious to know how you handled the relationship.
How do we handle issues? Like adults. We chat, we discuss, we apologise or compromise depending on the situation.
Is it more difficult? Nope. Not for me. I have multiple people to love and who love me. It's more time consuming in some ways but that would depend on the people. None of us cohabitate so it's less time consuming than having a live in partner.
Is it worthwhile? Absolutely.
Do they fall apart more easily? For those who haven't done the emotional work and self-reflection, yes. For those who have worked on their jealousy/envy issues and put the work in, I don't believe they 'fall apart' any more than mono relationships.
My set up is 2 local Doms, 1 local switch gf, one LDR Dom and a couple of comet partners.
My 3 local partners and I are in some sort of polycule rather than a triad but the same logistics apply.
Aren't you all just fuck buddies?
A throuple or quaple or octple (can go on) is surly people living together in relationships under the same roof is it not?
Multiple partners who meet to fuck, play and have a good time isnt my interpretation of throupe
We all have our own lives we have no wish to detangle from.
2 people can be a couple and not live together, and I'm guessing we all spend as much time with one another as any couple living together would, it just may not always be all 4 of us. It might be 2 or 3.
And no, we don't just meet, play and fuck. We have deep and meaningful relationships and a lot of love for one another. We go out for dinner or to music events, we go on holiday together, or in various combinations of us.
Co-habiting is just not on our wish list for any of us for the foreseeable future.
I guess there are many ways of it. Maybe it’s more sustainable the way you guys do it "
We are all very aware of how lucky we are to have what we have. One of the main reasons that is does work for us is that it developed naturally.
Some ENM people are looking for someone to tick a box, fulfill a need etc but we like having our own autonomy to allow any relationship to progress naturally without constraints and rules from other people. |
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Interesting thread and experiences.
One of Rani’s single female friend has been closer to us since the lockdown and we’ve joked about the ‘what if’ as a couple.
However, we have a great dynamic and life long best friends so haven’t taken that leap yet but does feel like it may be a possibility. Shes definitely attracted to us both but its also about integrating lives and personalities on a daily basis. |
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