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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We're still quite new to it ourselves. However we avoid all one liner replies or those that haven't read what we are looking for.
Also, meet for a social first, and then you can get a feel before deciding if anything should progress.
Have fun! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We're not experienced in it but have had a few attempts lol
Definitely it can be a bit emotional so understanding the limits and make sure the trust is there between you. Good to build up to it I think |
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By *ixedpairCouple
over a year ago
South West |
We've just started and the key thing for us is honest communication between each other. What we like/dislike etc. It is difficult to find exactly what you're looking for so we keep our expectations in check and take our time. We're planning on attending club nights to see how things develop.
Good luck in your exciting journey!  |
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"We've just started and the key thing for us is honest communication between each other. What we like/dislike etc. It is difficult to find exactly what you're looking for so we keep our expectations in check and take our time. We're planning on attending club nights to see how things develop.
Good luck in your exciting journey! "
Thank you! Yes we might try seek out some organised social meet nights for it too |
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By * plus SCouple
over a year ago
newcastle |
We’ve enjoyed this lifestyle for almost ten years. The only problems we faced at the beginning were caused by poor communication with each other. Talking about it can be cringy, setting rules and expectations etc. But once that’s all out of the way, it’s a lot easier to plan the fun. Decide if you want
Your first meet 1:1 and come home and share stories, or attend a club and ease into it slowly with your other half watching/joining in.
You’ll probably find your groove quicker than you think and it’s only fun from that point onwards. Good luck and enjoy x |
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As others have said, good luck with your adventure. It must be so exciting and it's great that you have such trust in the strength of your relationship. I admire you and, as a bit of an old codger, I am envious of you both.
I have read so many accounts from others on Fab (I don't do 'meets' myself) who have dabbled and it was good of those above to add their own tips and warnings.
The need for good communication seems to be the most common advice and on that subject, I wonder do couples agree code words/phrases in advance to signal whether or not they like/dislike the prospective playmate?
Would anyone care to clarify? |
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Yes this is where we are taking our first step on Saturday in to this world. We have been talking most evenings about it which can get us a bit hot under the collar but being clear on our boundaries and communicate well. We are doing it with the clear idea nothing might happen but if it does let's see how it goes.
We do have a secret phrase/word that if we need to get out the situation then we can use it and move on. |
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By * plus SCouple
over a year ago
newcastle |
"As others have said, good luck with your adventure. It must be so exciting and it's great that you have such trust in the strength of your relationship. I admire you and, as a bit of an old codger, I am envious of you both.
I have read so many accounts from others on Fab (I don't do 'meets' myself) who have dabbled and it was good of those above to add their own tips and warnings.
The need for good communication seems to be the most common advice and on that subject, I wonder do couples agree code words/phrases in advance to signal whether or not they like/dislike the prospective playmate?
Would anyone care to clarify? "
For us I’m (female) in complete
Control with who I play with. My husband doesn’t make suggestions as such. If we are in a club and he thinks there’s someone I might like he might mention it, but he tends to sit back and let me go with the flow. He’s actually more turned on when I’m the one choosing who I play with.
When I’m approached in a club and I’m with my husband it’s usually pretty clear if I’m interested or not as I let my husband chat and I tend to be less vocal. If I’m interested I take the lead in the conversation and my husband will leave us to chat to see if we get on and want to play. Suppose it depends on the situation x |
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Be picky, be choosey its about you after all.
We only meet verified guys and guys with multiple verifications from the same people even better as he must be doing something right if they keep going back to him!
No unverified guys because you don't want to be the ones to find out he's a nut job or catfishing  |
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There's more great advice 'TheSwingers'....if only there was a nice motorway from Dublin to Sligo... to allow like minded couples to meet up and chat about their experiences 
"Be picky, be choosey its about you after all.
We only meet verified guys and guys with multiple verifications from the same people even better as he must be doing something right if they keep going back to him!
No unverified guys because you don't want to be the ones to find out he's a nut job or catfishing "
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re: "For us I’m (female) in complete
Control with who I play with. My husband doesn’t make suggestions as such.
S and L.... that makes a huge amount of sense and it is such a natural way of doing it. No need for silly codex words or signs 
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I am now fairly new to it... we are still testing the waters.. I have done a fair few meets alone now however I haven't met a complete stranger alone yet.. I've met with guys we've met as a couple previously etc we are still testing the waters etc |
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By * plus SCouple
over a year ago
newcastle |
"re: "For us I’m (female) in complete
Control with who I play with. My husband doesn’t make suggestions as such.
S and L.... that makes a huge amount of sense and it is such a natural way of doing it. No need for silly codex words or signs
"
Some couples use signs and code words and that works for them, especially if the husband likes to help arrange meets. But I’m sure I speak for most women when I say if you’re in long term relationship, a certain look given to your husband usually gets your point across. It’s a similar look to the one when they walk past a sink full of dishes lol |
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"It’s a similar look to the one when they walk past a sink full of dishes lol"
...that'd be the same look you get when you're out for a walk and very very quietly take a look over your shoulder at the gym bunny who's just passed...only to turn around and see yer Missus caught you? That look?  |
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By * plus SCouple
over a year ago
newcastle |
""It’s a similar look to the one when they walk past a sink full of dishes lol"
...that'd be the same look you get when you're out for a walk and very very quietly take a look over your shoulder at the gym bunny who's just passed...only to turn around and see yer Missus caught you? That look? "
Yes!! That’s the one lol. Much easier than trying to get his attention to notice me ‘scratch’ the left side of my nose or drop the word ‘pineapple’ into a conversation. |
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By *arlangeCouple
over a year ago
newcastle upon tyne |
We to are relatively new to the " hotwife" senorio. Loads of communication between us both. At the end of the day Ange makes her choices and decisions. We are both loving it more than we both anticipated. |
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I bet it can get very 'Allo allo'
"....listen veree car-fully I shall say zis only once-a" 
"We have a whole set of codewords to mean different things but we can barely remember what they mean at the time lol"
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"re: "For us I’m (female) in complete
Control with who I play with. My husband doesn’t make suggestions as such.
S and L.... that makes a huge amount of sense and it is such a natural way of doing it. No need for silly codex words or signs
Some couples use signs and code words and that works for them, especially if the husband likes to help arrange meets. But I’m sure I speak for most women when I say if you’re in long term relationship, a certain look given to your husband usually gets your point across. It’s a similar look to the one when they walk past a sink full of dishes lol "
Yes we'd certainly tend to know by certain looks if the other is interested in the person or not. Though a bit of a secret code will most certainly be useful |
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"re: "For us I’m (female) in complete
Control with who I play with. My husband doesn’t make suggestions as such.
Some couples use signs and code words and that works for them, especially if the husband likes to help arrange meets. But I’m sure I speak for most women when I say if you’re in long term relationship, a certain look given to your husband usually gets your point across. It’s a similar look to the one when they walk past a sink full of dishes lol
Yes we'd certainly tend to know by certain looks if the other is interested in the person or not. Though a bit of a secret code will most certainly be useful "
So, just to be clear, Jane saying out loud: "Jaysus David, this fella is an absolute roide"...would be a smidgin too obvious, would it? |
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By *adCherriesCouple
over a year ago
Cheshire/Northwest |
Depends how you plan on doing it, there are hotwife club events to get you more comfortable with the scenario and if its something you want to explore further.
I personally love it, in fact I'm of hotwifing on Friday. I have met guys with my husband (watching) and recently gone solo, which was lots of fun.
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haha! He'd most likely say "Is your nose itchy luv?"or something ...risky expecting us fellas to remember subtle code words with a few drinks on us.