FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Anybody (fem) not ever orgasm?
Anybody (fem) not ever orgasm?
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Frisky had never had an orgasm until she met me, she was 28. No one had bothered to show her or take their time with her.
I bought her some toys and showed her what to do... She's now perfected it...lol
Like a lot of thing if you try too hard it won't happen.
Relax and find what turns you on, be porn, music, chick flicks or a good book... Frisky loves the bath for her private time.
Get comfy and take your time, learn your body and some women find the time of the month makes it easier or harder...
Enjoy and good luck.... X |
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Hiya!
I think a lot of it depends on the man you're with.
If men are only interested in themselves then he doesn't put effort into making you orgasm.
I love it when women orgasm and thats my favourite bit of sex.
All of my meets orgasm but I put a lot of effort into it for them. I talk for ages, make them comfortable, make them laugh. Make them very relaxed.
After that, I kiss and tease and sort of make it build up. The whole thing takes about 30 mins to prepare.
If a girl doesn't orgasm with me, I feel like I've not really done my job properly.
Anyway, I think the key thing is, you have to be relaxed and you have to let it build up.
You'll get there. Xxx  |
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Mrs C had not had one until we got together, I cant really give you any tips or suggestions being a guy aside from to say everyone is capable of achieving orgasm, its just a case of finding how to for you.
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The OP didn't ask for advice on how to achieve an orgasm she just asked if anyone else was the same. Saying everyone is capable or that certain things will guarantee an orgasm probably isn't really
very helpful and personally I wouldn't want a mans main focus to be me coming, sex is a two way thing based on what each partner wants surely. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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May be you have, but didn't realise it. That might sound daft, but how do you know you've never had one?
Surely you've pleasured yourself?
Orgasms vary enormously from person to person, one lady might just feel tingly and another might feel like a bomb has gone off.
You are still quite young and there's plenty of time for you to discovery yourself. Good luck, and enjoy it xx   |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hiya!
I think a lot of it depends on the man you're with.
If men are only interested in themselves then he doesn't put effort into making you orgasm.
I love it when women orgasm and thats my favourite bit of sex.
All of my meets orgasm but I put a lot of effort into it for them. I talk for ages, make them comfortable, make them laugh. Make them very relaxed.
After that, I kiss and tease and sort of make it build up. The whole thing takes about 30 mins to prepare.
If a girl doesn't orgasm with me, I feel like I've not really done my job properly.
Anyway, I think the key thing is, you have to be relaxed and you have to let it build up.
You'll get there. Xxx "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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No ones technique works everytime and the way some girls can fake it even the biggest studs on here or anywhere else can be mislead.
And guys, if you really think you can tell a faker, dream on.
Ladies don't cum every time, even with the same guy. What made them cum yesterday might not have the same effect today.
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I used to orgasm in the early days of my relationship with my OH.. both by oral and penetration.
Once we married sex became less and I seemed to lose the ability to orgasm regularly. We stopped having sex 20 years ago I have never shared an orgasm since.
Sex is still pleasurable without it.
I think you need to find the right man and relax with him find a toy that works and share that.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"The OP didn't ask for advice on how to achieve an orgasm she just asked if anyone else was the same. Saying everyone is capable or that certain things will guarantee an orgasm probably isn't really
very helpful and personally I wouldn't want a mans main focus to be me coming, sex is a two way thing based on what each partner wants surely."
Thanks all but I'm not looking for advise, I've tried every toy/position/somebody I love/filthy sex ect.
Just wanted to no if I'm in the boat alone.
I've learnt to get my kicks other ways in sex x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I never started having them until in my 30s. Never had one throughout my marriage in my 20s but, like you, as I hadn't had one I didn't know what I was missing out on so wasn't that bothered. |
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By *B9 QueenWoman
over a year ago
Over the rainbow, under the bridge |
I didn't have my first orgasm until my late 20s. And I was alone then!  I had been with my partner of the time since the age of 17 and I had been a virgin. Evidently he was not a good teacher, sex-wise, and was rather impatient. I knew nothing else and thought it was me who had the problem.
After I left him he accused me of being frigid! I told him, 'Only with you'!!
Now I can come easily - but really deep and intense orgasms take time - they leave me shaking and breathless.
There might be a physiological reason why the OP cannot orgasm - perhaps talking to your GP to investigate it might help? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If you masturbate for long enough you should have an orgasm.
i had my first orgasm when i was 16 through masturbating after that i started feeling horny all the time.
Have met a few men who made me cum with their finger or tongue, it takes me a long time and i have to use lots of lube.
It doesnt bother me if i dont cum when i am with someone i still enjoy it.
i have to have an orgasm sometimes though and feel a lot better afterwards. |
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By *B9 QueenWoman
over a year ago
Over the rainbow, under the bridge |
I notice that you are only 22. I had not had an orgasm at that age either - I thought I never would. How wrong I was. Don't simply accept that you cannot - I think you just haven't found the way yet. You need to get to know your body more - experiment with it on your own. Find what you like and are comfortable with. Then think about doing some of those things when you are with someone else having sex. |
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I noticed her age after wrote too. I didnt even have sex till I was 22.
Certainly knew nothing about orgasms or sex but I knew when I got one for sure.. 
No books or toys back then that I knew of to learn anything by  |
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"I've never had a orgasm and wondering if I'm alone?
Don't feel sorry for me lol, I love sex and really enjoy it! Just no end product haha."
I met someone who said she never orgasmed. She still enjoyed all the other parts of sex though.
I didn't take it as a challenge to my ego to be 'the first to make her cum'.
I came. She didn't. But we both enjoyed the session... |
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"Hiya!
I think a lot of it depends on the man you're with.
If men are only interested in themselves then he doesn't put effort into making you orgasm.
I love it when women orgasm and thats my favourite bit of sex
All of my meets orgasm but I put a lot of effort into it for them. I talk for ages, make them comfortable, make them laugh. Make them very relaxed.
After that, I kiss and tease and sort of make it build up. The whole thing takes about 30 mins to prepare.
If a girl doesn't orgasm with me, I feel like I've not really done my job properly.
Anyway, I think the key thing is, you have to be relaxed and you have to let it build up.
You'll get there. Xxx "
I agree a 22year old friend had never orgasmed even though she had a full and varied sex life . I took the time for her and she was almost overwhelmed & frightened with the result but thanked me later....it's all down to building up the senses and stimulating the mind |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Get yourself a bullet guaranteed orgasm
I'd have to agree on this one !!!!
Me too!! Even the £5 from A.S does the job for me reallllly quick! Lol x"
Me too every time! X |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I usually find it difficult to orgasm, but I am lucky that there are two men in my life willing to do "just anything" to ensure I do . . I sure with all the practising to be had, you will discover it soon xxx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I didn't cum until I was 35. I still dont have a clitoral orgasm without my vibe. But I have other orgasms and all are equally wonderful. "
I tried explaining to Mr J once that I have different types. . Think he has managed to understand at last. . Glad I am not the only one xxx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Got to say though, until I met someone who really really pushed my buttons, sex did not get me going at all. And I was 45 when that happened. There's still only a couple of men who have done it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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No I have never had an orgasm so you are not alone. I don't think its anything anyone should laugh at you for and no-one has ever laughed at me when I have told them, more surprised. I have however only started gushing since I started to swing, never heard of such a thing nor did I know that I could do it |
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By *B9 QueenWoman
over a year ago
Over the rainbow, under the bridge |
"Get yourself a bullet guaranteed orgasm
I'd have to agree on this one !!!!
And me! "
I have three - two are rechargeable and one AS with batteries. All remain by my bedside and I rarely have a shag without them! LOL |
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"Ive never come across a woman who hasnt fully orgasm.. My x squirted which was pretty amazing.  "
not even when you were much younger and just starting out sexually..?
cos i initially as a young man didnt have a clue how to help my girlfriends at that time orgasm tbh..
it was only with time, practise and most of all communication that it happened and yes its pretty awesome etc..
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I was in my early 30s before my 1st orgasm and it was masturbation, it was a while before I came with a partner and its usually through foreplay not penetration.
It's not that unusual I think the statistic us that 25% of women don't have them. Even now it's very unusual for me to have more then one per meet, again that's down to my head not my body, ad I tend to have a mental block on the 2nd one.
Also, to the guy that said you nag have had one and not realise, that's very unlikely as you'd know if you had one as you know your body and how it works.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've never had a orgasm and wondering if I'm alone?
Don't feel sorry for me lol, I love sex and really enjoy it! Just no end product haha.
I met someone who said she never orgasmed. She still enjoyed all the other parts of sex though.
I didn't take it as a challenge to my ego to be 'the first to make her cum'.
I came. She didn't. But we both enjoyed the session..."
See its this exactly, the more a woman worries, the less she will do it as its about relaxation and letting go, something I find incredibly difficult. I just think, I enjoy sex what does it matter if I don't orgasm? And those guys who reckon they can make a woman orgasm, I just block their attempts, and really, they just make me sore and bored |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Get yourself a bullet guaranteed orgasm
I'd have to agree on this one !!!!
Me too!! Even the £5 from A.S does the job for me reallllly quick! Lol x
Me too every time! X"
I have one of those too though not had chance to practise much but I do take a long time to get anywhere so at this moment, I don't think its all that |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Ive never come across a woman who hasnt fully orgasm.. My x squirted which was pretty amazing. "
You will find a few on here that haven't, like I have said, no big deal |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Ive never come across a woman who hasnt fully orgasm.. My x squirted which was pretty amazing.
You will find a few on here that haven't, like I have said, no big deal"
Yeah its no biggie |
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By *igglyjWoman
over a year ago
Manchester |
"I didn't cum until I was 35. I still dont have a clitoral orgasm without my vibe. But I have other orgasms and all are equally wonderful. "
Similar for me only I was 39 and it was with a couple and a wand! Now I can clitorally cum with.porn plus my rabbit which has great ears and I feel the build and then tingle .
Other activities take my breathe away and make me all flushed but it is not so will obviously an orgasm. |
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this thread illustrates to me what pressure is put on people to conform to a general idea of what sex is about. Clearly some men feel pressure to ensure a woman has an orgasm and women feel pressure to have one when good sex should be about enjoying in a way that suits you and no one else. Of course a considerate lover will make sure that you are satisfied but that satisfaction should be achieved in a way you want it.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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It's a catch 22 sometimes because ether
A... the guy (inc two ex partners) think there not satisfying me.
B... they then think it's a challenge to make me O and I just turn of.
It was so hard for the two guys to understand that sex can be amazing with out me orgasming!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It's a catch 22 sometimes because ether
A... the guy (inc two ex partners) think there not satisfying me.
B... they then think it's a challenge to make me O and I just turn of.
It was so hard for the two guys to understand that sex can be amazing with out me orgasming!! "
I hate it when men think it's some sort of challenge! Or they witter on about how every single woman they've ever been with has had an orgasm and they will make me have one too. 
I avoid those types of men. I'm perfectly happy just being me. |
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I dont cum through penetration alone, I can get there through clit stimulation but it's not instant like in pornos-quick 30 second rub and the girl explodes in ecstasy kind of thing! I enjoy sex immensely though even if I don't cum it's still feels amazing! I think the time and age thing definitely comes into it though, as time goes on my gspot is getting more responsive and when using my rabbit eventhough my clit is being stimulated still its a different kind of orgasm and I know my gspot is envolved because it's different to a clit orgasm. But your not alone, my best friend is the same, we've tried the gels that enlarge your gspot but found them strange so we bought the neon rabbit that's designed for gspot stimulation.
Good luck x |
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"It's a catch 22 sometimes because ether
A... the guy (inc two ex partners) think there not satisfying me.
B... they then think it's a challenge to make me O and I just turn of.
It was so hard for the two guys to understand that sex can be amazing with out me orgasming!! "
Please forgive me, I know you werent after advice, but if you have amazing sex without an orgasm, you're in for a treat!
A girl who I knew very well was exactly like this. I know what its like.
By any chance are you a little bit highly strung? Maybe get a bit stressed? Almost very self conscious?
If that's you, when you relax, and just enjoy it, it will just happen. Just try not to worry about not orgasming. That's the worst thing to do because that makes you more stressed.
I do know what you mean when men are saying stuff like, Ooo, r u ready, etc. I'll agree, that makes it worse.
Xxx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Obtain some toys (order online if you are too nervous to buy from a shop - packaging is usually discreet). Have a nice quiet night in to yourself. Really make a night of indulgence and pamper yourself nice bath etc. The type of this that make you feel good. And just have a good play and explore yourself and it will happen! Maybe you will find you are more sensual or not as sensual as you thought.
Being a horny bugger Ive spent waaaay too much time 'getting to know myself' in this manner!
As been said before don't stress too much about it. It does make it harder to achieve. So yeah just relax take your time and enjoy
- Miss P. |
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I have to say I agree with the OP sex isn't always about achieving the orgasm. I very rarely find a guy that can make me orgasm but I still love sex and all it entails. It's not about their techniques or me relaxing its just about everyone's bodies being different. |
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By *picer07Woman
over a year ago
CARDIFF |
"It's a catch 22 sometimes because ether
A... the guy (inc two ex partners) think there not satisfying me.
B... they then think it's a challenge to make me O and I just turn of.
It was so hard for the two guys to understand that sex can be amazing with out me orgasming!!
I hate it when men think it's some sort of challenge! Or they witter on about how every single woman they've ever been with has had an orgasm and they will make me have one too.
I avoid those types of men. I'm perfectly happy just being me. "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"No ones technique works everytime and the way some girls can fake it even the biggest studs on here or anywhere else can be mislead.
And guys, if you really think you can tell a faker, dream on.
Ladies don't cum every time, even with the same guy. What made them cum
yesterday might not have the same effect today.
"
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I was in my 30s when I had my first orgasum, even now I don't cum that often, guy have to really put in the time and effort to make me cum which sadly most on sites like this arnt prepaired to do even tho most will claim they do |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I learned how to self-pleasure from a very early age. 
I seldom climax on penetration alone, and learnt to help myself during sex to reach orgasm via watching porn while on business trips!
Oral with or without fingering is a sure way of reaching my O's.
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By *mileyBWoman
over a year ago
Northwood |
I don't think you're alone at all. There's hundreds of women out there that have never had an orgasm, who've never had a partner who cares whether they've cum or not, who have never masturbated and learned to make themselves cum, and who don 't believe that they're allowed to enjoy sex. You don't sound like any of those and I know what you mean when you say you still enjoy it, but if I were you I'd spend a little time alone playing to make yourself cum because although sex is good ... Orgasms make it so much better. |
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I (G) had a girlfriend, when both were mid 20s, who had been having sex regularly since age 13, but just couldn't come. She actually enjoyed sex very, very much, and apart from MF had tried FF, group-sex, gang-bangs as well as masturbation with and without toys, but said she had never been able to have an orgasm. Felt very sorry for her and we tried hard together, but nothing ever seemed to work. |
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