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Disabilities and swinging
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Morning,
I’ve decided I’m not going to hide my disability any more. I’m not going to hide my body.
Has it effected my confidence? Yes. Does it still? Yes.
But, am I realising that I’m strong and can do this? Yes!
I have a stoma and don’t use the loo the same as most peeps. I can’t hide it when I’m naked.
My question is: have any of you ever met with anyone who is a little different physically? Were they still hot meets?
Would you NOT have a meet because of anything like my stoma?
Not here for a pity party: just an honest response. I’m off to a party next month and would like to know the general consensus. My husband doesn’t give two sh**ts (see what I did there)- but he loves me so it’s different.
Are any of you disabled/ have anything physically different with your body? How do you find the swinging world?
#pleasebekind |
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Interesting discussion.
My partner is recovering from an operation, she is really worried about how she looks now and also if she can trust another guy to take care when having sex with her. (When we get to that stage in our journey)
As her husband I will love her no matter what, just like OP’s. So it would be interesting to see what other people think. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Interesting discussion.
My partner is recovering from an operation, she is really worried about how she looks now and also if she can trust another guy to take care when having sex with her. (When we get to that stage in our journey)
As her husband I will love her no matter what, just like OP’s. So it would be interesting to see what other people think. "
I’m hoping some people can give their view |
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Just took a look at your photos and you are unquestionably gorgeous.
From the little experience I have of parties where I’ve run into differently-abled people, I have had nothing but great connection, conversation, curiosity and inspiration alongside them. We’re all insecure and vulnerable in some way. Your confidence is what’s sexy. Put that out there and I’m pretty sure the right people will gravitate towards you. Good luck! |
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By *onny135Man
over a year ago
Birmingham |
Well done Op. This is very common and you'd be surprised at the number people that have this, just nobody typically talks about it in open conversation
You are stunning and the stoma wouldn't bother me. That said I have a medical background and understand it's purpose. There will be people ignorant to this but I would simply be upfront with possible meets - if they are out off it's absolutely their loss.
Easier said than done, but please don't let this knock your confidence too much. Life is too short.... |
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Well done HW for being truly proud of who you are. You have a simply gorgeous figure, and I adore the pic of you in lingerie, you have such taste xx
I’m sure you don’t have to search the forums too hard, and I recall not too long ago a similar thread on this issue.
I cannot for one minute think why anyone should have a problem with your ‘difference’ (I don’t see it as a difference) if it part of what makes you, you. If they do then perhaps they aren’t the kind of people you would want to meet anyway??
A few years ago I met a lady with a stoma, who was also an amputee. We had an amazing time, and neither got in the way or were any problem at all.
Go girl! Xxx
R xxx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It certainly wouldn't put me off, you look truly gorgeous.
I do fully understand your concern but good on you for embracing it and getting it out there. That is very brave of you, I hope you feel proud of yourself.
I think anyone who wouldn't meet you/play with you because of it are dickheads and not worth bothering with. Go out there, get to that party and enjoy yourself. Respect to you. |
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By *ikilovesCCouple
over a year ago
village life, closest main town inverness |
Good on you and great post Op 
People will take you as they find you and if there's an attraction
the they are going to be accepting of you as you are, can see where Beatcrusaders
is coming from when saying choose wisely though, as you would want to know they
are going to take care of you
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By *rpeggioCouple
over a year ago
Baughurst |
You are very sexy, OP, and your stoma would not bother me if I was lucky enough to play with you (male).
As a couple we Have experience of socials where one part of the couple had a disability and we knew in advance. We went with the same trepidation and excitement as with any new couple we meet. One was a hit, they were all over us later on in messages and sending pics but we never got to play because they never found the time. Hmmm.
The other couple social went awful. They only wanted to talk about them, their exes, the disability, other health problems they had... Not once they made an effort to ask about us, who we were what we wanted and found sexy etc, no flirt, no talk about sexy things or swinging. We felt like spectators of their internal conversation. We left fuming about how self absorbed they were.
In summary: stoma should not matter and better to be upfront because it will put off those that would not be the right match for you anyway. Then, what those of us who don't care about a disability want is to get excited and to have a fun social with someone confident, sexy, flirty, GSOH and engaging. Don't know others, but That's what turns us on. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Morning,
I’ve decided I’m not going to hide my disability any more. I’m not going to hide my body.
Has it effected my confidence? Yes. Does it still? Yes.
But, am I realising that I’m strong and can do this? Yes!
I have a stoma and don’t use the loo the same as most peeps. I can’t hide it when I’m naked.
My question is: have any of you ever met with anyone who is a little different physically? Were they still hot meets?
Would you NOT have a meet because of anything like my stoma?
Not here for a pity party: just an honest response. I’m off to a party next month and would like to know the general consensus. My husband doesn’t give two sh**ts (see what I did there)- but he loves me so it’s different.
Are any of you disabled/ have anything physically different with your body? How do you find the swinging world?
#pleasebekind"
I wouldn't meet you. But that's on me, not you. People might not want to meet you for many reasons, it just means you're not compatible.
If they are an arsehole about it then it's good you won't be meeting them.
I think it's best to let people know in advance so they can respectfully decline if it's not for them.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I (the he) was born with a disability called spina-bifida, I've never really let it hold me back and my parents made a point of not letting it hold me back, when I was a kid I thought I would never have a normal life or meet women but that couldn't of been further from the truth.
If people don't like the way I am I just tell em to f**k off and carry on with my life. |
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"I (the he) was born with a disability called spina-bifida, I've never really let it hold me back and my parents made a point of not letting it hold me back, when I was a kid I thought I would never have a normal life or meet women but that couldn't of been further from the truth.
If people don't like the way I am I just tell em to f**k off and carry on with my life."
Why would you tell them to fuck off? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I (the he) was born with a disability called spina-bifida, I've never really let it hold me back and my parents made a point of not letting it hold me back, when I was a kid I thought I would never have a normal life or meet women but that couldn't of been further from the truth.
If people don't like the way I am I just tell em to f**k off and carry on with my life.
Why would you tell them to fuck off?"
If they make a comment I tell them to f**k off, otherwise I say nothing and go about my day. |
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Both of us have disabilities I have a physical disability where as boo has a non physical one which will eventually be a lot worse than it currently is she has Ms. I have had 4 operations to try and fix my knees none of which were successful so not I have a permanent limp and reduced movement and 24/7 pain and yes I am disabled by it. Op don't hide who you are and if someone doesn't like it tell them to fuck off |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Disabilities can make you feel rather isolated esp in the scene.
My partner in crime has ms. We adapt and we still enjoy the lifestyle when we can. Everyone has a right to be in the scene. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have spinal stenosis it’s pretty bad now, walking is hard work and very painful, even keeping the old chap on point is problematic but I going to try viagra.
I just have to adapt to what is going on, sometimes I want meet so bad but my body won’t do anything to help. Also prescribed anti psychotic drugs to manage the as it is neuro pain not muscle so opiates don’t work.
I would love to meet a crossdresser or man/men and have some horny fun, even if my old chap can’t get involved I am sure I can satisfy the person x
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Both of us have disabilities I have a physical disability where as boo has a non physical one which will eventually be a lot worse than it currently is she has Ms. I have had 4 operations to try and fix my knees none of which were successful so not I have a permanent limp and reduced movement and 24/7 pain and yes I am disabled by it. Op don't hide who you are and if someone doesn't like it tell them to fuck off "
Would you tell them to fuck off even if they just said "no thank you"? |
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It's the person that counts not the 'disability' for want of a better word perhaps alternative ability may be better. Long and the short for me it's your mind/attitude that ultimately is the turn on.
Get out there enjoy and if someone is mean or has a problem then the problem is with them not you. X |
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By *nick52Man
over a year ago
Warrington |
if everyone concerned in a meet is open with each other from the start and everything is known then there shouldnt be any problem. There is nothing that cannot be over come or gently appreciated during a meet so that all parties have relaxing fun and sexual enjoyment. My 40 year old next door neighbour has the same bag due to her crones and all the operations she has gone through. We chat often about her treatments and condition and she has shown me her scars and bag , she is totally gorgeous and very very sexy and all ive seen and heard from her hasnt decreased my desire for her body , its about more that the disability , its the person , that matters disabilities if known about can be taken into consideration and and between two people got around with satisfaction |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Thank you to everyone who has commented here. It has been an uplifting chat for myself (and I hope others where it may effect them too).
Thank you to all those who have reached out privately.
The community shines through again
X |
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I haven't experienced anything like it myself before but have taken a friend out who has an obvious disability. Often people look to me to ask the question about them but they're used to it and do speak out themselves.
I know through the running community that a lady on there has one and she jazzes it up with bright covers that she makes from neck buffs.
Only thing I have close is a hole in my back from an infected cyst years ago. I don't feel the need to cover it up, it is part of me I guess.
Hope you've felt the love from the community here though xx |
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This is a interesting post. Over the years I have met a few people that have disabilities and it has not bothered me at all.
In fact I did regularly see a female for 5 years that was in a wheelchair. She lacked in sexual confidence but I can honestly say she was one of the most meaningful sexual partners I have ever had. She moved away to America with work but we have seen each other twice since.
Don’t let it knock your confidence and disabilities do not put me off at all. |
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We have played with several ladies who have been wheel chair bound - one who had had such a serious stroke that she had to be manoeuvred into the right positions to enjoy sex comfortably, a man who had one prosthetic leg, another who had two prosthetic legs, a lady who was born with a limb difference, a man who has to use a pump to achieve an erection due to prostate cancer.
The point of all of this? To reassure you OP, that a disability, of whatever kind, makes absolutely no difference to us whatsoever. We know that we are not unique in this, as the various other comments will confirm. We can completely understand your concerns, but really, do not dwell on them, because the majority of other people won`t. If they do, then that`s their issue, not yours. |
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"Both of us have disabilities I have a physical disability where as boo has a non physical one which will eventually be a lot worse than it currently is she has Ms. I have had 4 operations to try and fix my knees none of which were successful so not I have a permanent limp and reduced movement and 24/7 pain and yes I am disabled by it. Op don't hide who you are and if someone doesn't like it tell them to fuck off
Would you tell them to fuck off even if they just said "no thank you"?"
Not what we meant if they made a scene about it it would be an f off but if its a no thanks then they can rock on and so will we. The op made the original post sound like they were asking about a worst case scenario |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Absolutely nobody is perfect and our imperfections are what define us...
I've got ms and walk with issues but play with amazing friends I say fuck the narrow minded divs who are so shallow they don't see the bigger picture...and qudos to those who play and embrace their bodies xx |
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The parties I have attended are generally full of middle aged people,closer to 50 than 30 as well.
That includes some fetish type of gatherings.
So in general they’ll be more mature about how bodies are, when we get older, perfection not as a bigger deal than connecting to that person or couple. So I’d hope your honesty about your disability would not be an issue for most of those attending.
Good luck and I hope you have a great time.
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"Just took a look at your photos and you are unquestionably gorgeous.
From the little experience I have of parties where I’ve run into differently-abled people, I have had nothing but great connection, conversation, curiosity and inspiration alongside them. We’re all insecure and vulnerable in some way. Your confidence is what’s sexy. Put that out there and I’m pretty sure the right people will gravitate towards you. Good luck!"
Perfectly said |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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As a paralysed guy in a wheelchair yes disability is a problem too most people. However you will find people who are ok with it too. My only advice would be to keep an eye on you mental health. As if you have too many negative experiences it may affect you hope that is helpful to you Eddie |
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Well done OP for deciding to post this. It must have taken a lot of courage. There is, and always will be negatives from some but the sort of people you really want to connect with are the ones who will be positive.
As has already been said though, just watch out for your own mental health please |
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I know it can be difficult but try and forget your stoma people will like you for you I personally have had radiotherapy one of the side effects is I have trouble getting and keeping hard yes I’ve been turned down repeatedly I just adjust and carry on their loss
Back to you enjoy the journey your husband loves you that’s all that. Matters Hope this helps x |
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I haven't met anyone with a disability but if I'm attracted to them, it wouldn't be an issue.
I have friends with disabilities, including one who had a stoma for a while. It doesn't make a person any less. |
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I saying the following not to be dismissive of yours or others circumstances or challenges. But I always see a world where all of us have struggles and deviations from what we may see as the prototypal human. Some from birth, some from our battles with the world. Some visible, some not. Some physical, some mental. To different extents and thus I don't wish to seem blasé or dismissive to anyone really struggling. More my point is that the concept of prototypal human is sort of a oxymoron. Humans are fragile, humans are different and prototypal doesn't really exist beyond the cover of magazine. I rejoice in a world where more people are standing up celebrating an honesty in what is to be human and what it is to yourself warts and all. Because that the beautiful diverse world I want to live in. An honest accepting world, not a fake world where we all have to hide behind facades. I think that's a big part of why I'm a naturist because it's a world more human, level and grounded in the way people interact and accept each other when devoid of clothing and exposed as just human like everyone else.
More specifically to your question I don't have any specifically physical impairments not personally. Not to say im not challenged in different ways that effect my personal interactions (to some frustration). Also I am not bothered/turned off by physical impairments. An attractive woman to me is not one size fits all product off the same production line. And there's nothing sexier than a woman who owns her self and is comfortable in her own skin. That self acceptance and self love (not in vain way) is hot. |
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By *ykoCouple
over a year ago
york |
I the Male have a disability which means I struggle to walk without walking sticks but not had any problems on a meet its says it at the start of our profile so they know if it bothers people they can just move on so they know from the start. |
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