FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Unable to cum, from just a BJ
Unable to cum, from just a BJ
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No I can't say it is because the aim of a BJ ain't always to completion but a part of lots of foreplay.
But if that has been the aim then I wouldn't know because I've never not managed it even with the guys who claimed they couldn't!!! |
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A few women i've been with have been a bit upset as a result, which is why i'm always upfront about not being able to cum from one, so they don't think it is an issue with their "skill" or technique.
I remember putting up a thread a few months ago and was surprised at how many guys were in the same boat as me. |
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Not at all, feeling a guy growing harder and stiffer as you 'work' is the best feeling of all, its like you are creating something. If he doesnt complete then thats fine, there are lots more ways to get to that point |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I never was able to cum from a bj but the girl tried different ways now shes found out how an i cant last 5 mins with her.... Just depends how it works for you |
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"No I can't say it is because the aim of a BJ ain't always to completion but a part of lots of foreplay.
But if that has been the aim then I wouldn't know because I've never not managed it even with the guys who claimed they couldn't!!!"
Haha, I know exactly where you're coming from.
I've had girls who've said exactly the same; 'I've never, not been able to make a guy come, from a blowjob'.
Then, they say; 'until I met you, that is!' |
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By *imjohnCouple
over a year ago
Clacton on sea, Essex |
"So, following on from a previous thread...
I'm interested to know, is it disappointing, or a let down in some way to you, if a guy is unable to come from a blowjob?
"
I think most guys are the same, i need Kim or whoever to wank me hard while sucking up near the end.
If a lady was just to suck i would be there all night lol!
John |
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"So, following on from a previous thread...
I'm interested to know, is it disappointing, or a let down in some way to you, if a guy is unable to come from a blowjob?
I think most guys are the same, i need Kim or whoever to wank me hard while sucking up near the end.
If a lady was just to suck i would be there all night lol!
John"
'All night' - yeah, been there many a time! They end up getting bored with lock-jaw! |
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"I have no problem cummin from a bj. It just depends on how good she is and if I can feel teeth. That puts me off."
'How good she is' ????? ....... I think more men would get more pleasure if they actually told the lady what they enjoy, so many techniques and so many likes and dislikes. .....oh and by the way, my man loves the feel of my teeth running along his hardness, so - each to their own i guess. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Likewise, I've never reached orgasm from a blowjob, even the ones I've particularly enjoyed. For methough, great oral isn't about climaxing, but rather getting you relaxed and in the mood for the sex itself. |
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"Likewise, I've never reached orgasm from a blowjob, even the ones I've particularly enjoyed. For methough, great oral isn't about climaxing, but rather getting you relaxed and in the mood for the sex itself."
Very true, so many get hung up on the end product that they forget about the fantastic journey getting there ( was trying to think of the nicest way to put it lol ) |
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"Likewise, I've never reached orgasm from a blowjob, even the ones I've particularly enjoyed. For methough, great oral isn't about climaxing, but rather getting you relaxed and in the mood for the sex itself."
I do agree, there, but I would like to come every now and again from it.
Just once, would be lovely. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I have no problem cummin from a bj. It just depends on how good she is and if I can feel teeth. That puts me off.
'How good she is' ????? ....... I think more men would get more pleasure if they actually told the lady what they enjoy, so many techniques and so many likes and dislikes. .....oh and by the way, my man loves the feel of my teeth running along his hardness, so - each to their own i guess. "
Yeah. I've had some dire attempts at it. Just bobbing your head up and down and not using the tongue is criminal. As is going extremely fast like you want it over and done with.
Teeth for me is turn off. |
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"A few women i've been with have been a bit upset as a result, which is why i'm always upfront about not being able to cum from one, so they don't think it is an issue with their "skill" or technique.
I remember putting up a thread a few months ago and was surprised at how many guys were in the same boat as me."
Interesting you said "a few women I've been with have been a bit upset, as a result'.... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Likewise, I've never reached orgasm from a blowjob, even the ones I've particularly enjoyed. For methough, great oral isn't about climaxing, but rather getting you relaxed and in the mood for the sex itself.
Very true, so many get hung up on the end product that they forget about the fantastic journey getting there ( was trying to think of the nicest way to put it lol ) "
Of course, the feeling of an orgasm is amazing, especially if you're penetrating a woman at the time, but thats just the icing on the cake - the real joy of the experience should be the kissing, touching and rhythmical fucking of the sex itself. |
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By *ezebelWoman
over a year ago
North of The Wall - youll need your vest |
"I feel I'm missing out. "
I see it as part of the same oral/ gushing / squirting / vaginal orgasm scenario - some people do, some people dont.
But in my experience the more you make an issue of it the less likely it is to happen.
But when you stop making an issue of it, somethimes it pops up when you least expect it.... |
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By *imjohnCouple
over a year ago
Clacton on sea, Essex |
Its worse when you worry about it, if a lady is sucking you to completion you do start to worry when she as been doing this a while.
When you know sucking alone is not going to work you feel awkward in saying to the lovely lady please use your hand etc as well, every lady thinks her BJ's are the best so its a mixture of being diplomatic & still keeping her thinking she is doing a fantastic job.
. |
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"I feel I'm missing out.
I see it as part of the same oral/ gushing / squirting / vaginal orgasm scenario - some people do, some people dont.
But in my experience the more you make an issue of it the less likely it is to happen.
But when you stop making an issue of it, somethimes it pops up when you least expect it.... "
I knew that would come up (no pun intended). I accepted many years ago that I was 'different' in this respect. Just occasionally get reminded when I log onto Fab and people are talking about blowjobs, ha ha.
I have come very close on one occasion. Even though I didn't 'blow', her technique was just, fucking amazing. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Sometimes a guy not coming is due to them not being used to not having to 'do something' whilst they're being pleasured. If someone comes normally during penetration then the link is between physical exertion and orgasm in that case.
Perhaps those who experience this could try tensing and relaxing musculature in the legs and ab areas to see if that helps whilst someone pleasures you. With practice the habit can be overcome and become secondary (or better still completely superflous) to pleasure making it a recreational orgasm rather than one that requires effort.
The other potential area for problems is that the man receiving oral cannot mentally map the feelings he experiences whilst being pleasured to his own bodily perception of sensation. This is purely a case of being un-conditioned and will improve with time and experience.
It's important that the orgasm received be pleasurable for it to re-inforce the experience. Those who have discussed unwanted sensations that make their experience less-than-pleasurable need an accommodating oraliste so that they can fully explore what is for them, rather than it associate as unpleasant and the orgasm be the result of frantic and painful stimulation, which then reinforces subconsciously as a bittersweet experience - you can't positively associate or reinforce positively with negatives
Wolf |
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"Sometimes a guy not coming is due to them not being used to not having to 'do something' whilst they're being pleasured. If someone comes normally during penetration then the link is between physical exertion and orgasm in that case.
Perhaps those who experience this could try tensing and relaxing musculature in the legs and ab areas to see if that helps whilst someone pleasures you. With practice the habit can be overcome and become secondary (or better still completely superflous) to pleasure making it a recreational orgasm rather than one that requires effort.
The other potential area for problems is that the man receiving oral cannot mentally map the feelings he experiences whilst being pleasured to his own bodily perception of sensation. This is purely a case of being un-conditioned and will improve with time and experience.
It's important that the orgasm received be pleasurable for it to re-inforce the experience. Those who have discussed unwanted sensations that make their experience less-than-pleasurable need an accommodating oraliste so that they can fully explore what is for them, rather than it associate as unpleasant and the orgasm be the result of frantic and painful stimulation, which then reinforces subconsciously as a bittersweet experience - you can't positively associate or reinforce positively with negatives
Wolf"
Interesting... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Sometimes a guy not coming is due to them not being used to not having to 'do something' whilst they're being pleasured. If someone comes normally during penetration then the link is between physical exertion and orgasm in that case.
Perhaps those who experience this could try tensing and relaxing musculature in the legs and ab areas to see if that helps whilst someone pleasures you. With practice the habit can be overcome and become secondary (or better still completely superflous) to pleasure making it a recreational orgasm rather than one that requires effort.
The other potential area for problems is that the man receiving oral cannot mentally map the feelings he experiences whilst being pleasured to his own bodily perception of sensation. This is purely a case of being un-conditioned and will improve with time and experience.
It's important that the orgasm received be pleasurable for it to re-inforce the experience. Those who have discussed unwanted sensations that make their experience less-than-pleasurable need an accommodating oraliste so that they can fully explore what is for them, rather than it associate as unpleasant and the orgasm be the result of frantic and painful stimulation, which then reinforces subconsciously as a bittersweet experience - you can't positively associate or reinforce positively with negatives
Wolf"
Are you a sex therapist? |
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By *imjohnCouple
over a year ago
Clacton on sea, Essex |
Guys have to take a lot into consideration when trying to let go.
1. when other stimulation like hands, talking dirty etc is also needed.
2. not to try to speed things by trying to fuck her mouth, all guys do this at some time when excited & almost there.
3. is it safe to cum e.g. does this lady like cum in mouth or facials.
4. not to make her think she is doing wrong when you as a guy likes something else.
5. if you lady the well or is it the first time & if so how she will react etc.
We shoot movies all the time & most of the money shoots are cim/facial & believe it or not its the hardest put of the scene to shoot, some guys almost get there & then they get a mental block...it happens to me as well sometimes in films so we are all human. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Don't worry about it, it's art of the foreplay and everyone's different.
I could never cum from a bj until I met this one woman who was just born to suck cock and was very perseverant, then I came in her mouth every time.
You just haven't met the right bj queen. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I do have the same problem but I dont see it as a big issue if the lady is fine about it but as long I cummed in sex which I prefer that way and I am happy with that.
It's the same with some women, some cant even squirt at all, everyone is different. |
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By *imjohnCouple
over a year ago
Clacton on sea, Essex |
"Don't worry about it, it's art of the foreplay and everyone's different.
I could never cum from a bj until I met this one woman who was just born to suck cock and was very perseverant, then I came in her mouth every time.
You just haven't met the right bj queen."
I have met the best BJ queens in the UK & they still needed to use their hand as well near the end.
Guys 18-30 cum a lot quicker than older guys so we use these in bukkake films etc as its easier, 30+ upwards you get better fucking scenes as these guys last longer so age also comes into this. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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took me ages to realise didnt matter- with the ex that was all he ever wanted so i got the knack of wanking him off really quick ( didnt really want to be near him at all - long story) - now im more wordly wise thank goodness |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It's all technique and enjoyment of sucking cock. The best blow job I've ever had was from a 23 yo Korean tgirl and the oral skills were so good and she was so enjoying it that when I come it was the closest to mind blowing I've ever had.
Most women's grip and suck doesn't do it for me, but a horny tgirl with lips that crave cock. Much better |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So, following on from a previous thread...
I'm interested to know, is it disappointing, or a let down in some way to you, if a guy is unable to come from a blowjob?
"
no
why would i want a guy to cum just from a blow job?
i suck his cock, he cums and bugger off, dont sound like a great meet to me lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've had a few bj's off men and women and I've never come from it either "
Bet you have no problem keeping hard though,you must spend a fortune on viagra |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It doesn't bother me at all if guys don't cum from a BJ. I don't feel the need to perform like its some sort of competition.
My OH can only cum from a BJ if it is very fast and doesn't let up rhythm. I can't do it for long enough because it makes my jaw ache. I prefer it more sensual than the fast headbobbing that would make him cum. The way I look at it during swinging is that if another woman can help me out with the fast strokes so I don't get jawache then all well and good
I don't make the claim that I can make any guy cum and neither would I wish to. It just isn't important to me. As long as my man and the guys I play with whilst swinging enjoy themselves, I'm not looking for cum as some kind of trophy |
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"It doesn't bother me at all if guys don't cum from a BJ. I don't feel the need to perform like its some sort of competition.
My OH can only cum from a BJ if it is very fast and doesn't let up rhythm. I can't do it for long enough because it makes my jaw ache. I prefer it more sensual than the fast headbobbing that would make him cum. The way I look at it during swinging is that if another woman can help me out with the fast strokes so I don't get jawache then all well and good
I don't make the claim that I can make any guy cum and neither would I wish to. It just isn't important to me. As long as my man and the guys I play with whilst swinging enjoy themselves, I'm not looking for cum as some kind of trophy "
Well said! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think I have only ever come from a blow job once and I think that was because I hadn't had sex for a week! I think if she had blown on it I would have erupted pmsl |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"have to say, never had one that could not!!
How do you think you'd feel, if you had one that couldn't?"
I'd never, ever met a man who didn't cum from a blowjob until recently. It was a situation where we couldn't go any further than oral, so I was happy to just go down on him. After a good half hour of me sucking him off, wanking, using my tongue to the best of my ability, there was still no spunk.
Not sure whether it was the situation that he was uneasy about (in the car in a semi-private place) or if he was a man who just doesn't cum from oral, but it did leave me feeling somewhat.....inadequate! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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if a woman cannot get you to cum from a bj?
where a blindfold and get her bi boyfriend to suck you.
i bet you £10 he will get you shooting all over the place.
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I always used to find it hard. Until I met my current partner she is very very talented in that respect. When we had our last meet The guy had to have a little rest after she got going.
Best I have ever had. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Only twice in my life have I ever reached complition from a bj. But I do have lots of mini orgasms, but no ejaculation. Which is great, as the wife loves the taste of precum, but not to keen on cum.... Win, win for both of us... LOL |
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"So, following on from a previous thread...
I'm interested to know, is it disappointing, or a let down in some way to you, if a guy is unable to come from a blowjob?
"
Strange as I have yet to find a guy who doesn't. I guess it technique. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So, following on from a previous thread...
I'm interested to know, is it disappointing, or a let down in some way to you, if a guy is unable to come from a blowjob?
"
I give you a little tip that might help you cum from a bj...... Get your lady friend to hold a vibrator on your balls wile giving oral and get her to wank you off wile sucking.... Also relax and dont be scared to tel her how you like it |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've had quite a few men.tell me that they can't cum from a bj including hubby but I've never had any troubleaking it happen I think its down to technique and making the guy feel relaxed |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I am with your man, i love to feel teeth on my erect cock."
I cant think of anything worse! It hurts! Iv told a couple girls off for that! Would rather keep it in my pants! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I am with your man, i love to feel teeth on my erect cock.
I cant think of anything worse! It hurts! Iv told a couple girls off for that! Would rather keep it in my pants! "
Why would anyone want teeth on their cock, I hate that too! |
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"I am with your man, i love to feel teeth on my erect cock.
I cant think of anything worse! It hurts! Iv told a couple girls off for that! Would rather keep it in my pants!
Why would anyone want teeth on their cock, I hate that too!"
Quite. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If i guy told me he couldnt i would persevere until he did!
"
Think maybe that's what the posts are looking for 3rd person lol , it's a bit like saying can't cum from sex, its either psychological or just trying to punt themselves out there, xxx |
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"If i guy told me he couldnt i would persevere until he did!
Been there. Done that.
Either of two things end up happening - the gentleman sausage desensitizes or the girl gets lock-jaw!
"
Very true. And i'm usually bored well before that point anyway. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If i guy told me he couldnt i would persevere until he did!
"
i wouldnt
Im not one for a challange, if he cant come from a blow job so be it, im not kneeling there for 30 mins plus to try and do something ive already been told wont happen, what a waste of time when you could be doing something he does like |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If i guy told me he couldnt i would persevere until he did!
Been there. Done that.
Either of two things end up happening - the gentleman sausage desensitizes or the girl gets lock-jaw!
Very true. And i'm usually bored well before that point anyway."
im the same
i very rarely cum to be honest and i find nothing more boring than a guy whos determinded to make me cum when its just not happening
Some people are just more sexually compatable than others, if your with someone who you connect with sexually makiing someone cum shouldnt be hard work, i can tell within a couple of minuits of a guy giving me oral if he will make me cum and if i know he wont i see no point him being down there for me to lay there faking im enjoying it and im sure men are the same, there for i would rather a guy tell me im not doing it for him than lay there letting me carry on |
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"If i guy told me he couldnt i would persevere until he did!
Been there. Done that.
Either of two things end up happening - the gentleman sausage desensitizes or the girl gets lock-jaw!
Very true. And i'm usually bored well before that point anyway."
Me too. The 'feel' has long since gone, by then. I do envy guys that can shoot after minimal stimulation. I'm starting to think I've less nerve endings in the head of my penis, or something?? lol |
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"If i guy told me he couldnt i would persevere until he did!
Been there. Done that.
Either of two things end up happening - the gentleman sausage desensitizes or the girl gets lock-jaw!
Very true. And i'm usually bored well before that point anyway.
im the same
i very rarely cum to be honest and i find nothing more boring than a guy whos determinded to make me cum when its just not happening
Some people are just more sexually compatable than others, if your with someone who you connect with sexually makiing someone cum shouldnt be hard work, i can tell within a couple of minuits of a guy giving me oral if he will make me cum and if i know he wont i see no point him being down there for me to lay there faking im enjoying it and im sure men are the same, there for i would rather a guy tell me im not doing it for him than lay there letting me carry on"
Trouble is, NO girl can get me off from a blowjob! lol |
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