FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Irony of meets
Irony of meets
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Ok reading forum posts etc, I seen alot of couples and single females complaining being ghosted, let down, stood up etc by single men.
Then, I read every day single men complaining they never get meets and how to improve their profiles.
Can we ever reduce the rejection/disappointment from both parties? Why men, who clearly competing with alot of other men, not turning up to meets?
Confused  |
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"Oh, I would love to know why men are such let downs! But apparently every man in the forums would never do that.
Not all men are let downs. Maybe he got cold feet by being let down himself. "
Then why bother start a conversation about meeting if he had no intention of meeting?? |
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"Oh, I would love to know why men are such let downs! But apparently every man in the forums would never do that.
Not all men are let downs. Maybe he got cold feet by being let down himself.
Then why bother start a conversation about meeting if he had no intention of meeting?? "
He tried his luck and most probably didn't expect a response but did then got cold feet it happens if your one who gets rejected alot, it's a blow to their self esteem. |
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"Oh, I would love to know why men are such let downs! But apparently every man in the forums would never do that.
Not all men are let downs. Maybe he got cold feet by being let down himself.
Then why bother start a conversation about meeting if he had no intention of meeting??
He tried his luck and most probably didn't expect a response but did then got cold feet it happens if your one who gets rejected alot, it's a blow to their self esteem."
Ok there's trying your luck and there's talking about meeting but don't actually want to meet. Such a time wasting experience. Seriously, people shouldn't be doing that! I prefer honesty and totally ignore the ones who sound like they're trying their luck. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Maybe they they did turn up and the meet didn’t look like the photos they sent
Then the solution is cam chat beforehand or live pic? Surely that can't be difficult if people intend to meet?"
I wish when I was living in Oxford we'd met... |
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"Ok reading forum posts etc, I seen alot of couples and single females complaining being ghosted, let down, stood up etc by single men.
Then, I read every day single men complaining they never get meets and how to improve their profiles.
Can we ever reduce the rejection/disappointment from both parties? Why men, who clearly competing with alot of other men, not turning up to meets?
Confused "
It's possible that these are different men. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Maybe they they did turn up and the meet didn’t look like the photos they sent
Then the solution is cam chat beforehand or live pic? Surely that can't be difficult if people intend to meet?"
The above is a simple request. I would do it even if it’s just 5mins |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Ok reading forum posts etc, I seen alot of couples and single females complaining being ghosted, let down, stood up etc by single men.
Then, I read every day single men complaining they never get meets and how to improve their profiles.
Can we ever reduce the rejection/disappointment from both parties? Why men, who clearly competing with alot of other men, not turning up to meets?
Confused "
I never arranged a meet I wouldn’t turn up to personally x |
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"Oh, I would love to know why men are such let downs! But apparently every man in the forums would never do that.
Not all men are let downs. Maybe he got cold feet by being let down himself.
Then why bother start a conversation about meeting if he had no intention of meeting??
He tried his luck and most probably didn't expect a response but did then got cold feet it happens if your one who gets rejected alot, it's a blow to their self esteem.
Ok there's trying your luck and there's talking about meeting but don't actually want to meet. Such a time wasters experience. Seriously, people shouldn't be doing that! I prefer honesty and totally ignore the ones who sound like they're trying their luck."
And I totally agree with you but something could have happened why he couldn't make it. If he did not turn up and ghosted you without an explanation after, then there is no excuse and he's a total prick, makes the rest of us look bad. Maybe he's one of those that are time wasters and never had any intentions of meeting up with you in the first place there are both males and females that do it on this site sadly.
He has got to be a world class idiot to have done that to you. |
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Agree. Just be honest and if say going to meet don’t waste others time. We all had it sadly and can’t work out what some get out of it. At least message to say reason as minimum. Treat all with respect and how you would like to be treated |
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"Oh, I would love to know why men are such let downs! But apparently every man in the forums would never do that."
As a male, I'd like to know why some men are such let downs too! If I ever get a meet, I always turn up because I'm excited to see what someone is like. And you never know what might happen! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Happened a few times for us, even had a hotel booked for someone to cancel an hour before arriving. No matter how long or much you talk to someone there’s always a chance they will bail but we always keep that in mind and enjoy ourselves just incase to save disappointment! |
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By *anes HubbyCouple
over a year ago
Babbacombe Torquay |
In our many years of meeting guys through both Fab and various other avenues before Fab, we have never once been let down, not a single no show or crying off at the last minute.
We must just be so lucky I guess |
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The people that successfully meet don't post complaining about it, only the ones that don't get meets and the ones that get stood up. If only there was a way to match up men not getting meets with people who get stood up....  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think some have got cold feet as they love the chase and online excitement but phone chatting or on cam is a step too far.
It’s frustrating and Happens to all of us. Just got to remember there are still plenty of good eggs out there to enjoy as well. |
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"Ok reading forum posts etc, I seen alot of couples and single females complaining being ghosted, let down, stood up etc by single men.
Then, I read every day single men complaining they never get meets and how to improve their profiles.
Can we ever reduce the rejection/disappointment from both parties? Why men, who clearly competing with alot of other men, not turning up to meets?
Confused "
Regarding your second paragraph: Only a vanishingly small number of Fab users ever even look at the forums. I'd suggest that the guys who care enough to post here probably wouldn't stand up a meet, whereas the guys who would stand up a meet wouldn't bother with the forums.
That said: I bet there are guys posting in the forums saying "I'd never stand up a meet" who *would* do so, but since they don't get meets in the first place, they don't know they'd bottle it if they did. |
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"Ok reading forum posts etc, I seen alot of couples and single females complaining being ghosted, let down, stood up etc by single men.
Then, I read every day single men complaining they never get meets and how to improve their profiles.
Can we ever reduce the rejection/disappointment from both parties? Why men, who clearly competing with alot of other men, not turning up to meets?
Confused "
Many reasons guys dont turn up and vice versa sex is a commodity you dont need but love every now and again, some more than others, so for guys they have a wank, the car broke down, they met their mates, good film on, theyre just ignorant, they lied, they bottled it, pics dont reflect a true image etc etc.
Women are slightly different husband came home unexpectedly, they bottled it, self worth issues, nothing to wear, hairs a mess or a better offer came up  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Theres probably a large number on here using it as wank foder. Probably attached, doing it behind there partners back, needing abit of excitement. But when it comes to the crunch they can't do it.
Doesn't help those that are genuinely trying to meet people, or those that are being let down. |
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By *evonrobMan
over a year ago
Kingsbridge |
"Theres probably a large number on here using it as wank foder. Probably attached, doing it behind there partners back, needing abit of excitement. But when it comes to the crunch they can't do it.
Doesn't help those that are genuinely trying to meet people, or those that are being let down. "
Highly perceptive comment! |
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Somebody above was saying about some guys loving the chase and I agree with that. You look on here and any profile i look at from a point of if they are they verified by more than 1 person and recently. The amount of odd balls in here who set up fake profiles is scary, the same kind of people who have not got a single intention of meeting but go through the motions of pretending and probably sitting at home wanking off over it. Married guys who aren’t getting the sex they desire getting a cheap thrill out of it in their head of this fantasy of meeting someone new to release the frustration but having no intention of actually going through with it.
Nothings going to be 100% but gut instinct, verifications and I guess luck is all part of trying to reduce the possibility of a let down. But also maybe a way of reporting it (no idea how) so other profiles don’t suffer the same but that again could never be policed correctly.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"In our many years of meeting guys through both Fab and various other avenues before Fab, we have never once been let down, not a single no show or crying off at the last minute.
We must just be so lucky I guess"
Same. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Because the most sought after parties all go for each other. The beautiful people have choices so more likely to let you down and be disrespectful. "
This explains why I've never been let down. |
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"Oh, I would love to know why men are such let downs! But apparently every man in the forums would never do that."
I’ve been using Fab for around 10 years now, and have never failed to turn up for a meet.
I have been let down last minute, ghosted, and suffered no-shows by single females and couples on several occasions 
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"Because the most sought after parties all go for each other. The beautiful people have choices so more likely to let you down and be disrespectful. "
I agree, and having been ghosted by one particular woman, who arranged to meet me, didn’t show, but displayed a veri from another guy the next day, ‘disrespectful’ is a kind term…..
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I've lost count of the amount of times I've been let down at the 11 hour by couples, I'm a single bi male..... If you had no intention of meeting me why bother wasting both of our times with the messages in the first place. I've never stood anyone up, even if we've meet up and it wasn't right, just have a chat, say your sorry and walk away. |
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"Because the most sought after parties all go for each other. The beautiful people have choices so more likely to let you down and be disrespectful. "
Just goes to proove that beautie is only skin deep if they're that disrespectful.  |
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"I've lost count of the amount of times I've been let down at the 11 hour by couples, I'm a single bi male..... If you had no intention of meeting me why bother wasting both of our times with the messages in the first place. I've never stood anyone up, even if we've meet up and it wasn't right, just have a chat, say your sorry and walk away. "
They were one of three things;
Fantasists with no intention of meeting;
Nerves got the better of them at the eleventh hour;
You were a ‘Plan b’ in case their first choice let them down  |
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"Ok reading forum posts etc, I seen a lot of couples and single females complaining being ghosted, let down, stood up etc by single men.
Confused "
I see single females local to me complaining similar, and have wondered the same, as there are any number of guys in the area, they really are spoiled for choice! I feel it is just attention-seeking, as female friends in here tell me they are never short of offers, so why would these who complain be any different……?
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"I've lost count of the amount of times I've been let down at the 11 hour by couples, I'm a single bi male..... If you had no intention of meeting me why bother wasting both of our times with the messages in the first place. I've never stood anyone up, even if we've meet up and it wasn't right, just have a chat, say your sorry and walk away. "
Yep had this before too. Including meeting someone that said 'oh you've been with guys before that's not for me' whilst I was on my way to the meet. We'd discussed it.
Ive had to cancel short notice before and messaged and made it clear it wasn't ghosting or me pulling out but an inconvenience I couldn't avoid. I apologised and offered to rearrange but 'I only got one shot"-which inkindgr understand |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The reason people ghost others is because they get so nervous and scared they can't go through with it that's why us one's that do meet are just more confident |
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"I've lost count of the amount of times I've been let down at the 11 hour by couples, I'm a single bi male..... If you had no intention of meeting me why bother wasting both of our times with the messages in the first place. I've never stood anyone up, even if we've meet up and it wasn't right, just have a chat, say your sorry and walk away.
They were one of three things;
Fantasists with no intention of meeting;
Nerves got the better of them at the eleventh hour;
You were a ‘Plan b’ in case their first choice let them down "
More like plan f |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Partly because you get a high percentage of freaks on here too. The good with the bad and all that. I had a 'couple' messaging me last week about meeting, had me driving about 35 miles in total being messed around.
When I was outside 'their' house, a local tranny was messaging me asking to meet (and this is a small, quiet village during the night) and then the couple said that his Mrs had said that he has to suck me off to completion in the car only and that was all she wanted.
It was clearly the same person fucking me around.
Thing is once someone's verified, the account is permanently verified and some people abuse that. |
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I was let down last night. Lot's of chat on here. Exchanged face pics etc. Agreed to him coming over to my place for a meet then... Nothing. He was online but not opening my message. Well, not for over an hour. A total waste of time and effort. He's now blocked but it was as of he just didn't want me to get a meet so dragged things on and on until almost 11PM last night.
There must be something genuinely lacking with these people. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think some people like the thrill of the chase. Plus we all say what we want to do so feel
You have to go through with it. If people were honest and just said can we meet I’m nervous if we don’t do anything is that ok. A lot is pressure we put on ourselves too, yes there is people who will try to take the piss.
And some of it is what if some I know finds out family or friends. |
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"I was let down last night. Lot's of chat on here. Exchanged face pics etc. Agreed to him coming over to my place for a meet then... Nothing. He was online but not opening my message. Well, not for over an hour. A total waste of time and effort. He's now blocked but it was as of he just didn't want me to get a meet so dragged things on and on until almost 11PM last night.
There must be something genuinely lacking with these people."
The blocking is so annoying too. |
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By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in Co. Down |
I've never been ghosted so far on here anyhow. Everyone who I arranged to meet has turned up. But then I do tend to chat for a while before I arrange a meet on here when I am meeting. It's worked for me so far.I must either be very lucky or else my bullshite radar is pretty spot on.
I don't cam or send live pics before a meet if someone pushes for either then I won't carry on chatting I don't feel I need to prove I'm real to anyone at this stage on here. |
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"I was let down last night. Lot's of chat on here. Exchanged face pics etc. Agreed to him coming over to my place for a meet then... Nothing. He was online but not opening my message. Well, not for over an hour. A total waste of time and effort. He's now blocked but it was as of he just didn't want me to get a meet so dragged things on and on until almost 11PM last night.
There must be something genuinely lacking with these people."
I really don't like that behaviour and single moan they can't get meets where other men treat their meets so second class. Not on  |
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"The reason people ghost others is because they get so nervous and scared they can't go through with it that's why us one's that do meet are just more confident "
Don't arrange meets if they're too nervous, obviously they not ready to swing... Don't waste other people's time and creating animosity. Bad karma |
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"I've lost count of the amount of times I've been let down at the 11 hour by couples, I'm a single bi male..... If you had no intention of meeting me why bother wasting both of our times with the messages in the first place. I've never stood anyone up, even if we've meet up and it wasn't right, just have a chat, say your sorry and walk away.
Yep had this before too. Including meeting someone that said 'oh you've been with guys before that's not for me' whilst I was on my way to the meet. We'd discussed it.
Ive had to cancel short notice before and messaged and made it clear it wasn't ghosting or me pulling out but an inconvenience I couldn't avoid. I apologised and offered to rearrange but 'I only got one shot"-which inkindgr understand "
At least you didn't ghost. But yes, I wouldn't of bothered if someone last minute cancelled on me too. It's a massive turn off |
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"Ok reading forum posts etc, I seen a lot of couples and single females complaining being ghosted, let down, stood up etc by single men.
Confused
I see single females local to me complaining similar, and have wondered the same, as there are any number of guys in the area, they really are spoiled for choice! I feel it is just attention-seeking, as female friends in here tell me they are never short of offers, so why would these who complain be any different……?
"
Not sure what you meant. Yes we have tons of offers but the ones we choose don't turn up. Considering men have less choice, why they creating such bad karma? Obviously not that bothered after all? |
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"Ok reading forum posts etc, I seen alot of couples and single females complaining being ghosted, let down, stood up etc by single men.
Then, I read every day single men complaining they never get meets and how to improve their profiles.
Can we ever reduce the rejection/disappointment from both parties? Why men, who clearly competing with alot of other men, not turning up to meets?
Confused Many reasons guys dont turn up and vice versa sex is a commodity you dont need but love every now and again, some more than others, so for guys they have a wank, the car broke down, they met their mates, good film on, theyre just ignorant, they lied, they bottled it, pics dont reflect a true image etc etc.
Women are slightly different husband came home unexpectedly, they bottled it, self worth issues, nothing to wear, hairs a mess or a better offer came up "
I always turned up for my meets but can't say the same for the men I tried to meet. But most have turned up for me |
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"Oh, I would love to know why men are such let downs! But apparently every man in the forums would never do that.
As a male, I'd like to know why some men are such let downs too! If I ever get a meet, I always turn up because I'm excited to see what someone is like. And you never know what might happen!"
You think in theory, if they gone through all that trouble chatting, they turn up |
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We had a guy a month ago ghost us close to the meet. Heard nothing despite trying to get in touch with us. He said there had been a death of a family friend. We had that precise situation happen to us currently so touched a nerve with me.
A week later he was keen to apologise and re arrange a meet, unfortunately I was desperately trying to hold a family member together leading up to the funeral.
I just don't think he got that temporarily our lives turned upside down. He seemed to be all ok after his experience but felt really tactless when I had to remind him that things with us were so very difficult and that meets weren't on our list of thoughts.
Fruit x |
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"Maybe they they did turn up and the meet didn’t look like the photos they sent
Then the solution is cam chat beforehand or live pic? Surely that can't be difficult if people intend to meet?"
I prefer to do this. Chat off the site, vid call. People get nervous about doing it. I hate Kik. People don't wanna use their number. I suggest either telegram or Snapchat |
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Without reading the entire thread fully, We think there are a lot of men who come on here without knowledge of other halves...they chat, get excited about the idea and then when it comes to them meeting and possibly cheating.... they freak out and ghost.
We have cancelled meets last minute, but in truth, thats been down to historic medical issues which means sometimes we genuinely have to cancel with little notice given. Its not happened often (or recently) and we hated doing it. |
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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago
Dubai & Nottingham |
"Without reading the entire thread fully, We think there are a lot of men who come on here without knowledge of other halves...they chat, get excited about the idea and then when it comes to them meeting and possibly cheating.... they freak out and ghost.
"
I think you’re spot on , vast numbers of men just shouldn’t be here as they are not ‘available’ to meet, and some women do need to wise up a little and choose more carefully if they continually get stood up and/or ghosted.
There are plenty of exceptionally hot, well verified men here to choose from who won’t let them down 
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Without reading the entire thread fully, We think there are a lot of men who come on here without knowledge of other halves...they chat, get excited about the idea and then when it comes to them meeting and possibly cheating.... they freak out and ghost.
I think you’re spot on , vast numbers of men just shouldn’t be here as they are not ‘available’ to meet, and some women do need to wise up a little and choose more carefully if they continually get stood up and/or ghosted.
There are plenty of exceptionally hot, well verified men here to choose from who won’t let them down
"
This single is ready to mingle  |
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"Because the most sought after parties all go for each other. The beautiful people have choices so more likely to let you down and be disrespectful. "
Too good to be true? Are the profiles doing the stand up / ghosting of men who are VWE, perfect gym body types.
Could be that they know they can't live up to their own hype? |
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Thought this was going to have some tips on ironing those hard to iron garments 
But seriously a lot of people love the idea of the fantasy but when it's time to put that into reality the bottle goes. Yes it's frustrating when you've set up baby sitters a hotel or what ever it is you needed to do, this can be from anyone not just the single blokes I guess.
We used to do the fem to fem phone call and a social meet first when I was with my late partner, this seemed to out the fantasist as we could enjoy the drink on our own should they not turn up. That or we would arrange to meet at a club where if no show least the night wasn't a total failure. |
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By *lowhands7Man
over a year ago
South Leicestershire / Burton on Trent |
"Oh, I would love to know why men are such let downs! But apparently every man in the forums would never do that.
Not all men are let downs. Maybe he got cold feet by being let down himself.
Then why bother start a conversation about meeting if he had no intention of meeting?? "
Totally agree. Sadly there's always those that spoil it for others. Must admit to having a number of couples and women waste my time too, it's not all men! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Ok reading forum posts etc, I seen alot of couples and single females complaining being ghosted, let down, stood up etc by single men.
Then, I read every day single men complaining they never get meets and how to improve their profiles.
Can we ever reduce the rejection/disappointment from both parties? Why men, who clearly competing with alot of other men, not turning up to meets?
Confused "
Well put OP |
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Hi op.
I used to get a lot of let downs but seem to be fairly lucky in recent years.
However I tend to:
Meet a lot less often these days
Move over to WhatsApp and chat on there a few days before meeting
Don’t sext, phone sex etc but DO have a normal chat before meeting to see if there’s chemistry
Always have a social before a sex meet
Not all socials have turned into sex meets - but all socials have turned up and been pleasant. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We had a guy a month ago ghost us close to the meet. Heard nothing despite trying to get in touch with us. He said there had been a death of a family friend. We had that precise situation happen to us currently so touched a nerve with me.
A week later he was keen to apologise and re arrange a meet, unfortunately I was desperately trying to hold a family member together leading up to the funeral.
I just don't think he got that temporarily our lives turned upside down. He seemed to be all ok after his experience but felt really tactless when I had to remind him that things with us were so very difficult and that meets weren't on our list of thoughts.
Fruit x"
Some people really don't give a shit about the people they're meeting- only their own situation matters to them.
See it as a positive, you know what type of person he is and no need to have anything else to do with him.
Hope you are ok (as can be) now.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Had a couple stand me up twice.. Husband claims the wife got cold feet. Second time he insisted she was good to go then ghosted.... Anothdr occasion i got hit from the back on my way to a meet.. Showed her pics of the accident and she was understanding but reluctant t to arramge another meet... Despite that, had many others that went off without a hitch |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
They were one of three things;
Fantasists with no intention of meeting;
Nerves got the better of them at the eleventh hour;
You were a ‘Plan b’ in case their first choice let them down "
I think these are the most accurate and simplest answers.
The first one especially being the most likely.
Id also add...a genuine reason for cancelling. Car breaking down, family emergency. Because real life does happen now and again. But from what ive read previously...it seems to happen alot before a meet |
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"Ok reading forum posts etc, I seen alot of couples and single females complaining being ghosted, let down, stood up etc by single men.
Then, I read every day single men complaining they never get meets and how to improve their profiles.
Can we ever reduce the rejection/disappointment from both parties? Why men, who clearly competing with alot of other men, not turning up to meets?
Confused Many reasons guys dont turn up and vice versa sex is a commodity you dont need but love every now and again, some more than others, so for guys they have a wank, the car broke down, they met their mates, good film on, theyre just ignorant, they lied, they bottled it, pics dont reflect a true image etc etc.
Women are slightly different husband came home unexpectedly, they bottled it, self worth issues, nothing to wear, hairs a mess or a better offer came up "
this |
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"I've lost count of the amount of times I've been let down at the 11 hour by couples, I'm a single bi male..... If you had no intention of meeting me why bother wasting both of our times with the messages in the first place. I've never stood anyone up, even if we've meet up and it wasn't right, just have a chat, say your sorry and walk away.
Yep had this before too. Including meeting someone that said 'oh you've been with guys before that's not for me' whilst I was on my way to the meet. We'd discussed it.
Ive had to cancel short notice before and messaged and made it clear it wasn't ghosting or me pulling out but an inconvenience I couldn't avoid. I apologised and offered to rearrange but 'I only got one shot"-which inkindgr understand
At least you didn't ghost. But yes, I wouldn't of bothered if someone last minute cancelled on me too. It's a massive turn off"
we were meeting after work, and the colleague relieving me was in a car accident. I realise it can be frustrating but I wasn't exactly in control of the situation! |
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"You think in theory, if they gone through all that trouble chatting, they turn up"
I'd think the same too. Also, it's really difficult for me to get a meet via Fab, so every meet that I do get is an extremely valuable opportunity that I don't want to miss. The effort I have to put in just to get a response is monumental, so it'd be churlish of me to turn down a meet. |
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"Ok reading forum posts etc, I seen alot of couples and single females complaining being ghosted, let down, stood up etc by single men.
Then, I read every day single men complaining they never get meets and how to improve their profiles.
Can we ever reduce the rejection/disappointment from both parties? Why men, who clearly competing with alot of other men, not turning up to meets?
Confused "
Because a huge number of guys on this site are complete fantasists. In the past we have been let down on a multiple of occasions by guys. We used to do gangbang meets and you’d have to book at least twice the number wanted in the hope that half that number would meet. Then the guys who did some had clearly used fake pics or received fake veris. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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So we haven’t ever been let down on a meet but i reckon that’s because I will ask loads of questions and want a good chat first, most would probably give up and ghost us at that stage if they weren’t serious.
I am starting to think though that a lot of the single men on here are just in it for the fantasy and maybe even the more they don’t get replies the more they don’t expect one anyway. Every so often I put up a status to say I will answer all messages that day … and without fail those are the days that the message count drops off. |
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"I've lost count of the amount of times I've been let down at the 11 hour by couples, I'm a single bi male..... If you had no intention of meeting me why bother wasting both of our times with the messages in the first place. I've never stood anyone up, even if we've meet up and it wasn't right, just have a chat, say your sorry and walk away.
Yep had this before too. Including meeting someone that said 'oh you've been with guys before that's not for me' whilst I was on my way to the meet. We'd discussed it.
Ive had to cancel short notice before and messaged and made it clear it wasn't ghosting or me pulling out but an inconvenience I couldn't avoid. I apologised and offered to rearrange but 'I only got one shot"-which inkindgr understand
At least you didn't ghost. But yes, I wouldn't of bothered if someone last minute cancelled on me too. It's a massive turn off we were meeting after work, and the colleague relieving me was in a car accident. I realise it can be frustrating but I wasn't exactly in control of the situation! "
Tbf, if the guy phoned me to explain the situation and he sounded sincere, I give him another chance. It's tricky when it's the first meet as first impressions count.
It's not nice being ghosted after 2nd meet with no explanation, especially if they said they enjoyed themselves and said you were amazing etc |
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"
They were one of three things;
Fantasists with no intention of meeting;
Nerves got the better of them at the eleventh hour;
You were a ‘Plan b’ in case their first choice let them down
I think these are the most accurate and simplest answers.
The first one especially being the most likely.
Id also add...a genuine reason for cancelling. Car breaking down, family emergency. Because real life does happen now and again. But from what ive read previously...it seems to happen alot before a meet"
Yes seems sods law that unexpected life experiences seem to happen before a meet |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
They were one of three things;
Fantasists with no intention of meeting;
Nerves got the better of them at the eleventh hour;
You were a ‘Plan b’ in case their first choice let them down
I think these are the most accurate and simplest answers.
The first one especially being the most likely.
Id also add...a genuine reason for cancelling. Car breaking down, family emergency. Because real life does happen now and again. But from what ive read previously...it seems to happen alot before a meet
Yes seems sods law that unexpected life experiences seem to happen before a meet "
Maybe we should get the AA and RAC to do a poll. Find out how many of the breakdowns they attend, are people en route to a meet.
Im guessing at least 85% |
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By *oxy jWoman
over a year ago
somerset |
cant remember the last let down ive had or our couples profile had i alway make sure the person is real in our own way we stick to the way we select and we play often but then we do alot of pre blocking too and that deffo works in cutting out the messers ...if it keeps happening then its something your doing wrong |
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"
They were one of three things;
Fantasists with no intention of meeting;
Nerves got the better of them at the eleventh hour;
You were a ‘Plan b’ in case their first choice let them down
I think these are the most accurate and simplest answers.
The first one especially being the most likely.
Id also add...a genuine reason for cancelling. Car breaking down, family emergency. Because real life does happen now and again. But from what ive read previously...it seems to happen alot before a meet"
I didn’t mention the unexpected visit from Mother Nature, which I have heard a few times, and could of course, have been true, but I can honestly say only one woman ever said “But don’t worry, I can work around it”…….she turned up lol |
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"
They were one of three things;
Fantasists with no intention of meeting;
Nerves got the better of them at the eleventh hour;
You were a ‘Plan b’ in case their first choice let them down
I think these are the most accurate and simplest answers.
The first one especially being the most likely.
Id also add...a genuine reason for cancelling. Car breaking down, family emergency. Because real life does happen now and again. But from what ive read previously...it seems to happen alot before a meet
Yes seems sods law that unexpected life experiences seem to happen before a meet
Maybe we should get the AA and RAC to do a poll. Find out how many of the breakdowns they attend, are people en route to a meet.
Im guessing at least 85%"
I've only broke down once because i stupidly filled up petrol instead of diesel but even so i still rearrange or meet with the guy if it's not too late. Hate messing people about |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Ok reading forum posts etc, I seen alot of couples and single females complaining being ghosted, let down, stood up etc by single men.
Then, I read every day single men complaining they never get meets and how to improve their profiles.
Can we ever reduce the rejection/disappointment from both parties? Why men, who clearly competing with alot of other men, not turning up to meets?
Confused "
I think most of the let downs, no shows are down to a few things. Firstly...The high number of married men on here (a lot say they are single, but if you know what to look for, quite easy to spot). Secondly... The high number of fake profiles and picture collectors.
I can only say, don't be in a hurry to meet, ask the right questions and if you think something is not right, walk away.
CLYDE (male half) |
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By *xydadbodMan
over a year ago
Milton keynes |
Problem is.. most single men love the idea to meet up with a couple but most are forgetting that the dynamics are completely different as oppose to meeting a single lady.. especially if they have never experienced that dynamic before so they build a picture in their heads how it's going to go down and yes, in our own heads.. it will be magical, sexy, exciting but closer to the time.. nerves and doubts starts to kick in.. anxieties about wanting the meet to go well against doubts it will go horribly wrong so when the time comes, most will bottle it..
Thats my theory anyway based on my experiences from when I first started on fab.. everyone else may have a different reason of course |
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"Oh, I would love to know why men are such let downs! But apparently every man in the forums would never do that.
Not all men are let downs. Maybe he got cold feet by being let down himself.
Then why bother start a conversation about meeting if he had no intention of meeting?? "
I think the answer is that many men on here (including those hiding as “couples”) wish they could meet but either it’s just a fantasy or the presence of their wife prohibits. They are just wishful thinkers, curious about swinging or fantasists but talking to real swingers excites them and improves their wanking!! |
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"Oh, I would love to know why men are such let downs! But apparently every man in the forums would never do that.
Not all men are let downs. Maybe he got cold feet by being let down himself.
Then why bother start a conversation about meeting if he had no intention of meeting??
I think the answer is that many men on here (including those hiding as “couples”) wish they could meet but either it’s just a fantasy or the presence of their wife prohibits. They are just wishful thinkers, curious about swinging or fantasists but talking to real swingers excites them and improves their wanking!! "
I think this is a substantial part of it but not all of it. I think a lot intend to meet when their ‘horny’ head is in charge - but then they have a wank, go to work, have dinner with the wife and kids - and decide that quickie probably isn’t worth it.
Then they get horny again - think it might be a good idea after all - then have a wank, go to work etc etc
Eventually they either go through with a meet or delete the profile.
I’ve found the best way to involve getting in the middle of this cycle is to refuse to indulge in sexting etc and insist on a social before a sex meet.
I had one guy several months ago who turned out to be married with 2 young kids and one on the way. His wife called me one morning. We’d had a coffee but nothing more. A 45 minute chat I’ve no desire to repeat - but at least we never had sex. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have no idea why people don't meet when arranged. Many variables as to why. But personally, clear communication and a little cam chat, etc. Is probs the only ways both parties can come to some form of agreement and comfortability with a potential meet. I'm an anxious soul, sure, but if I arranged a meet with someone, I'd still meet up even if it was just for a social. Otherwise everyone's time is wasted. |
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