FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Genuine BDSM
Genuine BDSM
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Im lover of the kinky/bdsm side of life and Im hoping to find a playmate for kinky fun.
Are there actually any singles or couples that are genuinely into this side of life?
Ive had so many conversations with those that say they are then either get ghosted or they dont turn up for a meet.
Its getting frustrating now, is it so difficult to find like minded playpartner ? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I like variety so a bit of kink etc is all good. Trust is required for this type of play so it won't happen straight away. I like to get to know someone a bit before we play like that. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I like variety so a bit of kink etc is all good. Trust is required for this type of play so it won't happen straight away. I like to get to know someone a bit before we play like that. "
Absolutley, there has to be alot of build up im not expecting to jump straight into it x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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As a highly experienced Dom, I can say there is a lot of misconception of what kink and bdsm is . I do echo that many perhaps won’t reveal their interest because they’re seeking to build trust.
There is a difference between talking and playing and I would say in my various times on fabs over the years, there are better alternative sites to seek and connect with kink bdsm people. |
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I agree with much of what has been said here. A D/s relationship is like atoms aligning...it's precious, careful, emergent.
A bad Dominant, like a bad teacher will shout and talk quickly to seem authoritative. A good Dominant will speak quietly, knowing they will be heard; steadily, knowing their words will penetrate. And submission unfolds, blossoms, grows - it is not a surface property available to every passing stranger who buys a pair of cuffs from Ann Summers.
Not at all a criticism of you, OP! Good luck in your search. But there are an awful lot of misconceptions about BDSM that often need a lot of unravelling, and perhaps some of us have learned to be cautious. |
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By *etcplCouple
over a year ago
Gapping Fanny |
What is genuine BDSM?
We have been lucky enough to find a sub playmates on here, as well as finding a D/s dynamic with someone that is about to enter its third year.
So it is possible, its just about finding mutual interests. |
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You can find an incredibly huge range of people and interests here. If you find a pattern of noshows, look at your criteria and strategies, as well as review tips in the forum to improve things.
If you exclusively want just specialist interests, you could also search via places that cater to such needs. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I disagree and know from experience trying to compartmentalise people so it’s simple for one to understand is wholly wrong.
We are humans, sophisticated people with nuances. Your brush stroking isn’t helpful or valuable. You sharing your personal experiences is.
"I agree with much of what has been said here. A D/s relationship is like atoms aligning...it's precious, careful, emergent.
A bad Dominant, like a bad teacher will shout and talk quickly to seem authoritative. A good Dominant will speak quietly, knowing they will be heard; steadily, knowing their words will penetrate. And submission unfolds, blossoms, grows - it is not a surface property available to every passing stranger who buys a pair of cuffs from Ann Summers.
Not at all a criticism of you, OP! Good luck in your search. But there are an awful lot of misconceptions about BDSM that often need a lot of unravelling, and perhaps some of us have learned to be cautious."
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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There is no such thing as genuine BDSM. It’s just someone trying to elevate themselves.
"What is genuine BDSM?
We have been lucky enough to find a sub playmates on here, as well as finding a D/s dynamic with someone that is about to enter its third year.
So it is possible, its just about finding mutual interests."
|
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Hiya OP,
How do you know if it's anything to do with kink/BDSM that results in being ghosted or no shows? These are issues that affects all kinds here on Fab. Maybe see what you can do to improve your chances of finding those who have similar interests to you.  |
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"I disagree and know from experience trying to compartmentalise people so it’s simple for one to understand is wholly wrong.
We are humans, sophisticated people with nuances. Your brush stroking isn’t helpful or valuable. You sharing your personal experiences is."
We can agree to disagree, naturally. But my experiences teach me otherwise. I'm not remotely compartmentalising: quite the opposite. |
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By *sBlueWoman
over a year ago
Up North |
"Im lover of the kinky/bdsm side of life and Im hoping to find a playmate for kinky fun.
Are there actually any singles or couples that are genuinely into this side of life?
Ive had so many conversations with those that say they are then either get ghosted or they dont turn up for a meet.
Its getting frustrating now, is it so difficult to find like minded playpartner ?"
No it’s not difficult |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Im lover of the kinky/bdsm side of life and Im hoping to find a playmate for kinky fun.
Are there actually any singles or couples that are genuinely into this side of life?
Ive had so many conversations with those that say they are then either get ghosted or they dont turn up for a meet.
Its getting frustrating now, is it so difficult to find like minded playpartner ?
No it’s not difficult "
The female experience is not the same as the male experience. For you to blanket reject Ops experience is unnecessary. By all means share your own experience or not, that genuinely adds value to the discussion. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I disagree and know from experience trying to compartmentalise people so it’s simple for one to understand is wholly wrong.
We are humans, sophisticated people with nuances. Your brush stroking isn’t helpful or valuable. You sharing your personal experiences is.
We can agree to disagree, naturally. But my experiences teach me otherwise. I'm not remotely compartmentalising: quite the opposite."
Your experience has little to no baring to other peoples experiences. |
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By *oodmessMan
over a year ago
yumsville |
"Im lover of the kinky/bdsm side of life and Im hoping to find a playmate for kinky fun.
Are there actually any singles or couples that are genuinely into this side of life?
Ive had so many conversations with those that say they are then either get ghosted or they dont turn up for a meet.
Its getting frustrating now, is it so difficult to find like minded playpartner ?
No it’s not difficult
The female experience is not the same as the male experience. For you to blanket reject Ops experience is unnecessary. By all means share your own experience or not, that genuinely adds value to the discussion. "
You seem a bit uptight |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Im lover of the kinky/bdsm side of life and Im hoping to find a playmate for kinky fun.
Are there actually any singles or couples that are genuinely into this side of life?
Ive had so many conversations with those that say they are then either get ghosted or they dont turn up for a meet.
Its getting frustrating now, is it so difficult to find like minded playpartner ?
No it’s not difficult
The female experience is not the same as the male experience. For you to blanket reject Ops experience is unnecessary. By all means share your own experience or not, that genuinely adds value to the discussion.
You seem a bit uptight"
No point projecting yourself upon others. Sharing your own experiences isn’t about ramming down your own experiences that others should live by.
Everyone has their own experiences, regardless of gender, status doesn’t mean it transfers to other people in the same way it has for you.
|
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By *oodmessMan
over a year ago
yumsville |
"Im lover of the kinky/bdsm side of life and Im hoping to find a playmate for kinky fun.
Are there actually any singles or couples that are genuinely into this side of life?
Ive had so many conversations with those that say they are then either get ghosted or they dont turn up for a meet.
Its getting frustrating now, is it so difficult to find like minded playpartner ?
No it’s not difficult
The female experience is not the same as the male experience. For you to blanket reject Ops experience is unnecessary. By all means share your own experience or not, that genuinely adds value to the discussion.
You seem a bit uptight
No point projecting yourself upon others. Sharing your own experiences isn’t about ramming down your own experiences that others should live by.
Everyone has their own experiences, regardless of gender, status doesn’t mean it transfers to other people in the same way it has for you.
"
There's not a lot to digest, you seem to be saying it all but haven't read what you've you've been typing. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Im lover of the kinky/bdsm side of life and Im hoping to find a playmate for kinky fun.
Are there actually any singles or couples that are genuinely into this side of life?
Ive had so many conversations with those that say they are then either get ghosted or they dont turn up for a meet.
Its getting frustrating now, is it so difficult to find like minded playpartner ?
No it’s not difficult
The female experience is not the same as the male experience. For you to blanket reject Ops experience is unnecessary. By all means share your own experience or not, that genuinely adds value to the discussion.
You seem a bit uptight
No point projecting yourself upon others. Sharing your own experiences isn’t about ramming down your own experiences that others should live by.
Everyone has their own experiences, regardless of gender, status doesn’t mean it transfers to other people in the same way it has for you.
There's not a lot to digest, you seem to be saying it all but haven't read what you've you've been typing. "
Hard to digest if you’re failing to experience anything. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
A gentle and patient approach is key to establish enough rapport leading to a D/s dynamic.
Those self proclaiming themselves as ‘Experienced Doms’ are usually the ones to avoid in my experience. A true Dom doesn’t have to call him/her self that as it would be pretty obvious by the way they approach things.
If you’re truly interested in the dynamics of BDSM, read a lot, learn a lot and attend a munch or two to meet likeminded people. There is a lot more than meets the eye in the lifestyle and you would eventually find a play partner if you put the right energy into it. Remember the exchange of power within this type of play leaves people very vulnerable mentally and physically, and that’s something that shouldn’t be taken lightly. |
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By *aryjWoman
over a year ago
londin |
"A gentle and patient approach is key to establish enough rapport leading to a D/s dynamic.
Those self proclaiming themselves as ‘Experienced Doms’ are usually the ones to avoid in my experience. A true Dom doesn’t have to call him/her self that as it would be pretty obvious by the way they approach things.
If you’re truly interested in the dynamics of BDSM, read a lot, learn a lot and attend a munch or two to meet likeminded people. There is a lot more than meets the eye in the lifestyle and you would eventually find a play partner if you put the right energy into it. Remember the exchange of power within this type of play leaves people very vulnerable mentally and physically, and that’s something that shouldn’t be taken lightly. "
Well said |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"A gentle and patient approach is key to establish enough rapport leading to a D/s dynamic.
Those self proclaiming themselves as ‘Experienced Doms’ are usually the ones to avoid in my experience. A true Dom doesn’t have to call him/her self that as it would be pretty obvious by the way they approach things.
If you’re truly interested in the dynamics of BDSM, read a lot, learn a lot and attend a munch or two to meet likeminded people. There is a lot more than meets the eye in the lifestyle and you would eventually find a play partner if you put the right energy into it. Remember the exchange of power within this type of play leaves people very vulnerable mentally and physically, and that’s something that shouldn’t be taken lightly. "
I’m an experienced Dom. Feel free to read my profile. There is nothing wrong proclaiming I’m an experienced Dom if that’s what you are. The issue is when you’re not. |
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By *etcplCouple
over a year ago
Gapping Fanny |
"A gentle and patient approach is key to establish enough rapport leading to a D/s dynamic.
Those self proclaiming themselves as ‘Experienced Doms’ are usually the ones to avoid in my experience. A true Dom doesn’t have to call him/her self that as it would be pretty obvious by the way they approach things.
If you’re truly interested in the dynamics of BDSM, read a lot, learn a lot and attend a munch or two to meet likeminded people. There is a lot more than meets the eye in the lifestyle and you would eventually find a play partner if you put the right energy into it. Remember the exchange of power within this type of play leaves people very vulnerable mentally and physically, and that’s something that shouldn’t be taken lightly.
I’m an experienced Dom. Feel free to read my profile. There is nothing wrong proclaiming I’m an experienced Dom if that’s what you are. The issue is when you’re not. "
As you said, no point projecting yourself upon others.
In my opinion, it is preferable to say you have been in the scene for x years, otherwise what exactly are you experienced in?
But each to their own!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"A gentle and patient approach is key to establish enough rapport leading to a D/s dynamic.
Those self proclaiming themselves as ‘Experienced Doms’ are usually the ones to avoid in my experience. A true Dom doesn’t have to call him/her self that as it would be pretty obvious by the way they approach things.
If you’re truly interested in the dynamics of BDSM, read a lot, learn a lot and attend a munch or two to meet likeminded people. There is a lot more than meets the eye in the lifestyle and you would eventually find a play partner if you put the right energy into it. Remember the exchange of power within this type of play leaves people very vulnerable mentally and physically, and that’s something that shouldn’t be taken lightly.
I’m an experienced Dom. Feel free to read my profile. There is nothing wrong proclaiming I’m an experienced Dom if that’s what you are. The issue is when you’re not.
As you said, no point projecting yourself upon others.
In my opinion, it is preferable to say you have been in the scene for x years, otherwise what exactly are you experienced in?
But each to their own! "
Stating one is experienced by number of years doesn’t really mean much . The reason being you could have one dynamic over a 10 or 20 year period, whilst another had experienced multiple dynamics in a shorter period. Experience comes from learning and experiencing and growing. That doesn’t happen with 1-2 partners to the same degree. |
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By *ensualMan
over a year ago
Sutton |
The comments above is why I stopped contributing to BDSM threads. The usual caveat that - everyone does kink and BDSM their own way - applies, but here are my random thoughts.
I don't believe in gatekeepers to BDSM I.e " genuine BDSM is ..."or "BDSM needs..." and I don't believe in the one true way.
I think a person should say that in their own opinion they need xyz to do bdsm their way.
My own belief is that genuine consent and acting as safely as possible are the fundamental blocks of BDSM, but people are free to think differently.
I am not a great believer in "trust" as many people use it. People talk about the need for deep trust and knowing people a long time before doing anything kinky. I have regularly done stuff with people I have just met. Last Sunday I separately tied two women and a man I had only met that afternoon at the peer rope. What I believe people should look for is demonstrated competence beyond the words. Every 'player'knows the "right thing to say" demonstrating competence and that you have a genuine track record of BDSM relationships that worked well for both dom and sub, and that (either as a dom or sub) you are not a bad intentioned person is a different matter.
I have met a number of bottoms on Fab and in swinging and have had 2 D/s relationships. These days there is greater crossover between BDSM and swinging than 7 years ago. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"The comments above is why I stopped contributing to BDSM threads. The usual caveat that - everyone does kink and BDSM their own way - applies, but here are my random thoughts.
I don't believe in gatekeepers to BDSM I.e " genuine BDSM is ..."or "BDSM needs..." and I don't believe in the one true way.
I think a person should say that in their own opinion they need xyz to do bdsm their way.
My own belief is that genuine consent and acting as safely as possible are the fundamental blocks of BDSM, but people are free to think differently.
I am not a great believer in "trust" as many people use it. People talk about the need for deep trust and knowing people a long time before doing anything kinky. I have regularly done stuff with people I have just met. Last Sunday I separately tied two women and a man I had only met that afternoon at the peer rope. What I believe people should look for is demonstrated competence beyond the words. Every 'player'knows the "right thing to say" demonstrating competence and that you have a genuine track record of BDSM relationships that worked well for both dom and sub, and that (either as a dom or sub) you are not a bad intentioned person is a different matter.
I have met a number of bottoms on Fab and in swinging and have had 2 D/s relationships. These days there is greater crossover between BDSM and swinging than 7 years ago."
I agree with almost everything you’ve said and it’s really well put together.
When I talk about trust, I mean for a more ongoing kind of arrangement. Obviously club and events have a different way to help with the vetting process and some amazing play could come from ‘spur of the moment’ meets in those environments.
Overall, we could agree that experience is somewhat relevant, but knowledge doesn’t always come from experience, and there are loads of people with a lot of experience but don’t know the key aspects of the lifestyle. Unfortunately, I know people that have been left with PTSD after establishing an ongoing dynamic with ‘Experienced Doms’, and I have spoken with enough of them to know that, behind that statement, more often than not, you can find a person who doesn’t fully understand the complexities of what a D/s situationship entails. |
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Everything I say about D/s comes from experience in full-time D/s relationships, and that does mean I focus on elements like the slow build-up of trust rather than individual elements of rope-play, electro, etc. I'm hugely impressed by people who can 'play' outside of a D/s relationship, and it's fantastic that those routes exist. It's just that I couldn't do that, so don't speak about it. |
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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago
Dubai & Nottingham |
It’s not difficult just focus on building relationships with likeminded people and it will happen.
Just about every relationship I’ve had on here or elsewhere goes that way to a degree without actively looking for it or listing details in my profile. I just naturally attract and are attracted to people who are open to exploring |
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By *etcplCouple
over a year ago
Gapping Fanny |
"Stating one is experienced by number of years doesn’t really mean much . The reason being you could have one dynamic over a 10 or 20 year period, whilst another had experienced multiple dynamics in a shorter period. Experience comes from learning and experiencing and growing. That doesn’t happen with 1-2 partners to the same degree. "
I’d rather know someone has been in the scene for 1, 2 or even 25 years than just claim to be an experienced Dom!
Experienced at what exactly?
When do you go from being experienced to an expert? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Stating one is experienced by number of years doesn’t really mean much . The reason being you could have one dynamic over a 10 or 20 year period, whilst another had experienced multiple dynamics in a shorter period. Experience comes from learning and experiencing and growing. That doesn’t happen with 1-2 partners to the same degree.
I’d rather know someone has been in the scene for 1, 2 or even 25 years than just claim to be an experienced Dom!
Experienced at what exactly?
When do you go from being experienced to an expert?"
Some claim to be experienced or an expert from the off
I have been involved in the local scene for many years but still no expert in kink and still things would love to learn |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
A good friend and long standing kinkster has a wonderful break down of expert 
Ex as in has been and pert as in leaks under pressure 
Me I'm still a newbie, I've been playing around with string all my life (pretty much) and kink for at least 20 years and I'm still new at it lol
I love being new! It's always fresh and intersting and it always has a lesson or two to teach
|
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By *etcplCouple
over a year ago
Gapping Fanny |
"A good friend and long standing kinkster has a wonderful break down of expert
Ex as in has been and pert as in leaks under pressure
Me I'm still a newbie, I've been playing around with string all my life (pretty much) and kink for at least 20 years and I'm still new at it lol
I love being new! It's always fresh and intersting and it always has a lesson or two to teach
"
I hoped someone would come in with the Ex Spurt explanation  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"A good friend and long standing kinkster has a wonderful break down of expert
Ex as in has been and pert as in leaks under pressure
Me I'm still a newbie, I've been playing around with string all my life (pretty much) and kink for at least 20 years and I'm still new at it lol
I love being new! It's always fresh and intersting and it always has a lesson or two to teach
"
Ignoring the sarcasm and genuinely trying to have an adult conversation.
How many meaningful dynamics have you had in your 20 years ? Because you could genuinely be a newbie in in terms of your growth, emotional al intelligence and general attitude to kink and bdsm. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Stating one is experienced by number of years doesn’t really mean much . The reason being you could have one dynamic over a 10 or 20 year period, whilst another had experienced multiple dynamics in a shorter period. Experience comes from learning and experiencing and growing. That doesn’t happen with 1-2 partners to the same degree.
I’d rather know someone has been in the scene for 1, 2 or even 25 years than just claim to be an experienced Dom!
Experienced at what exactly?
When do you go from being experienced to an expert?"
I understand what you’re saying. You are right experience can genuinely mean many things to many people.
To me experienced Dom in general means, someone that has maturity and level of understanding of dynamics. Is able to be mature enough to understand that not all dynamics fit into a compartment. That a person has had multiple meaningful partners to understand the nuances of individuals are individuals. And has gained knowledge, and first hand experiences of different kink and bdsm play to be confident in the areas they they claim to be experienced at.
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"The comments above is why I stopped contributing to BDSM threads. The usual caveat that - everyone does kink and BDSM their own way - applies, but here are my random thoughts.
I don't believe in gatekeepers to BDSM I.e " genuine BDSM is ..."or "BDSM needs..." and I don't believe in the one true way.
I think a person should say that in their own opinion they need xyz to do bdsm their way.
My own belief is that genuine consent and acting as safely as possible are the fundamental blocks of BDSM, but people are free to think differently.
I am not a great believer in "trust" as many people use it. People talk about the need for deep trust and knowing people a long time before doing anything kinky. I have regularly done stuff with people I have just met. Last Sunday I separately tied two women and a man I had only met that afternoon at the peer rope. What I believe people should look for is demonstrated competence beyond the words. Every 'player'knows the "right thing to say" demonstrating competence and that you have a genuine track record of BDSM relationships that worked well for both dom and sub, and that (either as a dom or sub) you are not a bad intentioned person is a different matter.
I have met a number of bottoms on Fab and in swinging and have had 2 D/s relationships. These days there is greater crossover between BDSM and swinging than 7 years ago."
Thank you for your thoughtful post . I’d like to see more open discussions regarding Kink and BDSM, even if it’s just a single thread on the forums.
I agree with your candid points. Not everyone of course is into pain, restraints or other physical play. Sometimes none bdsm/ kink folk won’t realise the richness of dynamics, the healing, the nurturing and mentoring in some dynamics.
I’ve not been on fabs nearly as long as yourself. I’ve had other profiles over years. But I still see little overlap of swingers and kinky folks. That view might of course change. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"A good friend and long standing kinkster has a wonderful break down of expert
Ex as in has been and pert as in leaks under pressure
Me I'm still a newbie, I've been playing around with string all my life (pretty much) and kink for at least 20 years and I'm still new at it lol
I love being new! It's always fresh and intersting and it always has a lesson or two to teach
Ignoring the sarcasm and genuinely trying to have an adult conversation.
How many meaningful dynamics have you had in your 20 years ? Because you could genuinely be a newbie in in terms of your growth, emotional al intelligence and general attitude to kink and bdsm. "
Sorry, my reply wasn't meant as sarcasm at all.
I have had a couple of long term, several year long dynamics, some shorter dynamics, some one off play sessions, some multiple session play sessions, along with hosting and running munches, clubs nights, workshops and demos.
So yeah I still consider myself a newbie because as every time I'm doing something I'm doing it in that moment and for the first time as every interaction is unique.
So yeah, there's an overview of my 20 plus years in kink. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"A good friend and long standing kinkster has a wonderful break down of expert
Ex as in has been and pert as in leaks under pressure
Me I'm still a newbie, I've been playing around with string all my life (pretty much) and kink for at least 20 years and I'm still new at it lol
I love being new! It's always fresh and intersting and it always has a lesson or two to teach
Ignoring the sarcasm and genuinely trying to have an adult conversation.
How many meaningful dynamics have you had in your 20 years ? Because you could genuinely be a newbie in in terms of your growth, emotional al intelligence and general attitude to kink and bdsm.
Sorry, my reply wasn't meant as sarcasm at all.
I have had a couple of long term, several year long dynamics, some shorter dynamics, some one off play sessions, some multiple session play sessions, along with hosting and running munches, clubs nights, workshops and demos.
So yeah I still consider myself a newbie because as every time I'm doing something I'm doing it in that moment and for the first time as every interaction is unique.
So yeah, there's an overview of my 20 plus years in kink."
This kind of humbleness and being in touch with reality is what a good Dom/Top should be about |
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By *ensualMan
over a year ago
Sutton |
"A good friend and long standing kinkster has a wonderful break down of expert
Ex as in has been and pert as in leaks under pressure
Me I'm still a newbie, I've been playing around with string all my life (pretty much) and kink for at least 20 years and I'm still new at it lol
I love being new! It's always fresh and intersting and it always has a lesson or two to teach
Ignoring the sarcasm and genuinely trying to have an adult conversation.
How many meaningful dynamics have you had in your 20 years ? Because you could genuinely be a newbie in in terms of your growth, emotional al intelligence and general attitude to kink and bdsm.
Sorry, my reply wasn't meant as sarcasm at all.
I have had a couple of long term, several year long dynamics, some shorter dynamics, some one off play sessions, some multiple session play sessions, along with hosting and running munches, clubs nights, workshops and demos.
So yeah I still consider myself a newbie because as every time I'm doing something I'm doing it in that moment and for the first time as every interaction is unique.
So yeah, there's an overview of my 20 plus years in kink.
This kind of humbleness and being in touch with reality is what a good Dom/Top should be about "
Not forgetting a history of active contribution to the rope community and its education. Unlike many of us online commentators, he walks the walk. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"A good friend and long standing kinkster has a wonderful break down of expert
Ex as in has been and pert as in leaks under pressure
Me I'm still a newbie, I've been playing around with string all my life (pretty much) and kink for at least 20 years and I'm still new at it lol
I love being new! It's always fresh and intersting and it always has a lesson or two to teach
Ignoring the sarcasm and genuinely trying to have an adult conversation.
How many meaningful dynamics have you had in your 20 years ? Because you could genuinely be a newbie in in terms of your growth, emotional al intelligence and general attitude to kink and bdsm.
Sorry, my reply wasn't meant as sarcasm at all.
I have had a couple of long term, several year long dynamics, some shorter dynamics, some one off play sessions, some multiple session play sessions, along with hosting and running munches, clubs nights, workshops and demos.
So yeah I still consider myself a newbie because as every time I'm doing something I'm doing it in that moment and for the first time as every interaction is unique.
So yeah, there's an overview of my 20 plus years in kink.
This kind of humbleness and being in touch with reality is what a good Dom/Top should be about
Not forgetting a history of active contribution to the rope community and its education. Unlike many of us online commentators, he walks the walk."
It’s good he is giving back to the rope community.  |
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By *inranWoman
over a year ago
Dudley |
I'm biased, hes my hubby, but i do think when people you have worked with (suspension) include Kate Moss and Addidas, you probably have room to think you have explored a tad in your 20 years. Also taught internationally, won several awards and worked with some world class masochists
But as I said I am a tad biased
For me I've found some wonderful D/s dynamics on here and I only play in that arena, never vanilla.
But it's not common. I dont meet new people all the time. I take my time to dig in and get to know someone.
I find a good clear profile helps. But in kink wherever you are looking online. It's still easy to be overwhelmed by fantastmists who do not ever intend tontransfer to reality.
But when you take your time with vetting it helps that happen less.
"A good friend and long standing kinkster has a wonderful break down of expert
Ex as in has been and pert as in leaks under pressure
Me I'm still a newbie, I've been playing around with string all my life (pretty much) and kink for at least 20 years and I'm still new at it lol
I love being new! It's always fresh and intersting and it always has a lesson or two to teach
Ignoring the sarcasm and genuinely trying to have an adult conversation.
How many meaningful dynamics have you had in your 20 years ? Because you could genuinely be a newbie in in terms of your growth, emotional al intelligence and general attitude to kink and bdsm.
Sorry, my reply wasn't meant as sarcasm at all.
I have had a couple of long term, several year long dynamics, some shorter dynamics, some one off play sessions, some multiple session play sessions, along with hosting and running munches, clubs nights, workshops and demos.
So yeah I still consider myself a newbie because as every time I'm doing something I'm doing it in that moment and for the first time as every interaction is unique.
So yeah, there's an overview of my 20 plus years in kink.
This kind of humbleness and being in touch with reality is what a good Dom/Top should be about
Not forgetting a history of active contribution to the rope community and its education. Unlike many of us online commentators, he walks the walk.
It’s good he is giving back to the rope community. "
 |
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"I'm biased, hes my hubby, but i do think when people you have worked with (suspension) include Kate Moss and Addidas, you probably have room to think you have explored a tad in your 20 years. Also taught internationally, won several awards and worked with some world class masochists
But as I said I am a tad biased
For me I've found some wonderful D/s dynamics on here and I only play in that arena, never vanilla.
But it's not common. I dont meet new people all the time. I take my time to dig in and get to know someone.
I find a good clear profile helps. But in kink wherever you are looking online. It's still easy to be overwhelmed by fantastmists who do not ever intend tontransfer to reality.
But when you take your time with vetting it helps that happen less.
A good friend and long standing kinkster has a wonderful break down of expert
Ex as in has been and pert as in leaks under pressure
Me I'm still a newbie, I've been playing around with string all my life (pretty much) and kink for at least 20 years and I'm still new at it lol
I love being new! It's always fresh and intersting and it always has a lesson or two to teach
Ignoring the sarcasm and genuinely trying to have an adult conversation.
How many meaningful dynamics have you had in your 20 years ? Because you could genuinely be a newbie in in terms of your growth, emotional al intelligence and general attitude to kink and bdsm.
Sorry, my reply wasn't meant as sarcasm at all.
I have had a couple of long term, several year long dynamics, some shorter dynamics, some one off play sessions, some multiple session play sessions, along with hosting and running munches, clubs nights, workshops and demos.
So yeah I still consider myself a newbie because as every time I'm doing something I'm doing it in that moment and for the first time as every interaction is unique.
So yeah, there's an overview of my 20 plus years in kink.
This kind of humbleness and being in touch with reality is what a good Dom/Top should be about
Not forgetting a history of active contribution to the rope community and its education. Unlike many of us online commentators, he walks the walk.
It’s good he is giving back to the rope community. "
Just popping on to say I loved reading both your comments on this thread. You've obviously got something very special going on and that makes this cynic happy |
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"
Sorry, my reply wasn't meant as sarcasm at all.
I have had a couple of long term, several year long dynamics, some shorter dynamics, some one off play sessions, some multiple session play sessions, along with hosting and running munches, clubs nights, workshops and demos.
So yeah I still consider myself a newbie because as every time I'm doing something I'm doing it in that moment and for the first time as every interaction is unique.
So yeah, there's an overview of my 20 plus years in kink."
I’m lucky enough to have a deep and long lasting friendship with MRK, we’ve played many times and had a wonderful D/s dynamic. He’s a kind and knowledgeable person and an incredibly skilled rigger.
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