FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Newbies not being given a chance
Newbies not being given a chance
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Coming onto the site as a newbie is hard, very few will give newbies a chance, how are newbies meant to get going on this site if nobody will give them a look in ? |
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just the way the game is I am afraid ... best bet is to get to a club / social and grab some physical veris ... view it like this ... for spending 50 quid for a night out even if just social bantering with others at a club.. it will unlock the site much more easier for you ..
thats money well spent ... speculate to accumulate |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Go to socials
Go to clubs
Make your profile the best it can be.
We were all new once, it’s not that hard to get going. You’ve just got to manage your expectations…
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By *TG3Man
over a year ago
Dorchester |
"Coming onto the site as a newbie is hard, very few will give newbies a chance, how are newbies meant to get going on this site if nobody will give them a look in ? "
it may be your profile pic or it may be you're 1 in a 1000 or it may be your profile, it's many things, the way you message, whether you look at the profile read it and refer to it, your profile is your advert make it the best it can be  |
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Bro I'm an oldy and 99% of my messages can be ignored
You could cater to everything the woman has asked for in her profile but because she has 500 messages to get through its easy for us to be missed
I've had a few meets and as others have said above, it all comes from clubs
Good luck brother |
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Yeah that's one of the major gripes of this site.
While there's a lot of factors into play here, there's also the issue of newbies not being given a chance even if they are 100% genuine.
Tbh the expectations one should have from fabs should be low.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It's all about engaging with others.
Go to a club
Be active and engage in discussions on the forums
Go in chat rooms, talk to people, maybe go on cam and get cam verified.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Trouble is opp new people have got you a bad name by wasting peoples time. Im afraid i dont look at new people. I agree with others and go to some clubs. Being in the forams will get you noticed as well but its not guaranteed to get you a meet |
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"Coming onto the site as a newbie is hard, very few will give newbies a chance, how are newbies meant to get going on this site if nobody will give them a look in ? "
If it helps, we give newbies and experienced lags the same treatment. 
Get yourself photo-verified then find someone at a club who can attest to your existence and you're already in the top 10% of blaggers on here. Lxx |
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By *AYENCouple
over a year ago
Lincolnshire |
"Coming onto the site as a newbie is hard, very few will give newbies a chance, how are newbies meant to get going on this site if nobody will give them a look in ? "
If you're what people are looking for I doubt being a 'newbie' would make much difference. |
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By *batMan
over a year ago
Alicante, Spain. (Sometimes in Wales) |
A couple of things John.
Your only pic is a disembodied mid section. Not a lot for people to go on!
Your bio has a bit of humour, which is good, but in essence it says I’ll fuck most women, but better if they’re curvy.
You might want to consider expanding your pics portfolio, adding a few more specifics to your bio, and after that, get engaging.
Use the forums to talk to people.
Get in the chat rooms.
Go to a social.
Go to a club.
If you’re using a mobile, use the see who’s near function.
Talk to people and if you click, perhaps you’ll swing.
Best of luck.
Gbat
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"Coming onto the site as a newbie is hard, very few will give newbies a chance, how are newbies meant to get going on this site if nobody will give them a look in ? "
I never chat to a guy with cock only avatar, don't care how well the bio written. |
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"Coming onto the site as a newbie is hard, very few will give newbies a chance, how are newbies meant to get going on this site if nobody will give them a look in ? "
By being better than what gets put out there. That's how. You don't get pity fucks for being a newbie. There's no 'guaranteed hot dirty sex with single females in your area" just because you join the site. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Coming onto the site as a newbie is hard, very few will give newbies a chance, how are newbies meant to get going on this site if nobody will give them a look in ?
By being better than what gets put out there. That's how. You don't get pity fucks for being a newbie. There's no 'guaranteed hot dirty sex with single females in your area" just because you join the site."
Totally agree |
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"You've only been here 6 weeks..
Did you really think it was sign up and shag from the get go?"
Many men seem to think women are waiting to be chosen and should be grateful for the opportunity. I'm aware some women give that response, but I'm still surprised by the messages from men thinking I'll have sex with anyone who offers it
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It's supply and demand, there's an endless supply of horny guys here, and a limited number of women, so they can and should be as picky as they wish!
This is like complaining that the odds of winning the lottery are too low. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Coming onto the site as a newbie is hard, very few will give newbies a chance, how are newbies meant to get going on this site if nobody will give them a look in ? "
Blind and unwavering perseverance, I’m afraid. |
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By *etcplCouple
over a year ago
Gapping Fanny |
Its not just newbies.
If people like the look/sound of you they will make contact.
If they don’t they won’t.
Be proactive, get out to clubs and events, don’t just wait for someone to fall i to your lap. |
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By *bi HaiveMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
"Coming onto the site as a newbie is hard, very few will give newbies a chance, how are newbies meant to get going on this site if nobody will give them a look in ? "
It's not the age of a profile that matters.
You could be here 5 minutes, 5 weeks, 5 months or 50 years....if there's nothing to attract interest when first glancing at a profile then people will move on.
And when you send messages many will view a profile before opening. And again - no interest equals delete.
Its not a question of 'giving someone a chance'. If people aren't attracted or interested they owe you nothing.
A |
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By *oxy jWoman
over a year ago
somerset |
nobody owes you a chance ? its a swinger site those who attract will attract ie its simple human nature we like who we like sexually and thats it its not a scene for everyone and its deffo not a scene where there is someone / ones for everyone ....
swinging is and always has been a rejection and selection scene how ever even if you have the looks or sexual attraction its then often lost once the messages start ...things have to line up and it often does not ..
put bluntly there will always be too many men on this scene 30 years ago it was like 20 men per woman/couple it was too much then but now its 100/200 men per women /couple and those % are worse in the built up area's like the cities so men will have it from hard to very very very hard to impossible ..
heres the real kicker men get excited when they join thinking they've found the honey hole a ''sex site'' but they havent its a swingers site where people in this lifestyle hang out ....not sitting around offering sex on a plate to anybody |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Coming onto the site as a newbie is hard, very few will give newbies a chance, how are newbies meant to get going on this site if nobody will give them a look in ? "
Totally true I'm a newbie and it's like I'm fucking ugly lol |
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By *oxy jWoman
over a year ago
somerset |
"Another day on fab and another cock pic profile is struggling to meet and wondering why....."
and what about us 1,000s of women a couples who like to see cock pics ?? its a very very 50/50 subject unless your on the forums that account for less than 1% of the site the throws out not so real views .... a persons profile is thier profile its for them to use as they see fit with in the rules of fab ..FAB not just those that dont like things use it as a filter and avoid thats what most people do when they see things they dont like |
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By *oxy jWoman
over a year ago
somerset |
"Yeah as a newbie and not the best looking bloke
It isn’t easy is it!"
it has zero to do with looks so thats a bit of a lame excuse it has everything to do with there are simple far too many men on here tho not that tats wrong as we are all free to join a free site but it makes a guys life so hard on here and with 1,000 of men joining everyday and very few women and couples it will only get harder ... for a guy sadly its a case of having to work so much harder to get notice .... just the way of the scene not fab ....a fab is by far the best site that provides the tools what it does not do and rightly so is offer up free sex for all |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yeah as a newbie and not the best looking bloke
It isn’t easy is it!
it has zero to do with looks so thats a bit of a lame excuse it has everything to do with there are simple far too many men on here tho not that tats wrong as we are all free to join a free site but it makes a guys life so hard on here and with 1,000 of men joining everyday and very few women and couples it will only get harder ... for a guy sadly its a case of having to work so much harder to get notice .... just the way of the scene not fab ....a fab is by far the best site that provides the tools what it does not do and rightly so is offer up free sex for all"
Yes am aware is a lame excuse was also more of a jest/dry humour take on all the excuses is single blokes can come up with |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yeah as a newbie and not the best looking bloke
It isn’t easy is it!
it has zero to do with looks so thats a bit of a lame excuse it has everything to do with there are simple far too many men on here tho not that tats wrong as we are all free to join a free site but it makes a guys life so hard on here and with 1,000 of men joining everyday and very few women and couples it will only get harder ... for a guy sadly its a case of having to work so much harder to get notice .... just the way of the scene not fab ....a fab is by far the best site that provides the tools what it does not do and rightly so is offer up free sex for all"
I agree with you all those men that aren't really Geniune spoil it for us that are |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Coming onto the site as a newbie is hard, very few will give newbies a chance, how are newbies meant to get going on this site if nobody will give them a look in ?
By being better than what gets put out there. That's how. You don't get pity fucks for being a newbie. There's no 'guaranteed hot dirty sex with single females in your area" just because you join the site."
I'm sure pity fucks were mentioned in the brochure... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yeah as a newbie and not the best looking bloke
It isn’t easy is it!
it has zero to do with looks so thats a bit of a lame excuse it has everything to do with there are simple far too many men on here tho not that tats wrong as we are all free to join a free site but it makes a guys life so hard on here and with 1,000 of men joining everyday and very few women and couples it will only get harder ... for a guy sadly its a case of having to work so much harder to get notice .... just the way of the scene not fab ....a fab is by far the best site that provides the tools what it does not do and rightly so is offer up free sex for all
I agree with you all those men that aren't really Geniune spoil it for us that are "
So so true.. how I wish La chambre was still open, knew some lovely people from there.
Don’t know if they are here haven’t found them yet |
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"Coming onto the site as a newbie is hard, very few will give newbies a chance, how are newbies meant to get going on this site if nobody will give them a look in ? "
I would suggest you look for a curvy girl style event being held at No.3 club in Chorley, as it is literally on your doorstep, and you like curvy girls!   |
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"Coming onto the site as a newbie is hard, very few will give newbies a chance, how are newbies meant to get going on this site if nobody will give them a look in ?
By being better than what gets put out there. That's how. You don't get pity fucks for being a newbie. There's no 'guaranteed hot dirty sex with single females in your area" just because you join the site.
I'm sure pity fucks were mentioned in the brochure..."
Did you get the premium invite? Its only offered to VIPs. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Coming onto the site as a newbie is hard, very few will give newbies a chance, how are newbies meant to get going on this site if nobody will give them a look in ?
By being better than what gets put out there. That's how. You don't get pity fucks for being a newbie. There's no 'guaranteed hot dirty sex with single females in your area" just because you join the site.
I'm sure pity fucks were mentioned in the brochure...
Did you get the premium invite? Its only offered to VIPs."
Totally true that lol |
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By *harAndBryCouple
over a year ago
Peterborough / Stamford |
"Coming onto the site as a newbie is hard, very few will give newbies a chance, how are newbies meant to get going on this site if nobody will give them a look in ? "
By not being a dick. That's not acting like a dick, but also by being more than a single dick profile pic. We'd not give you a chance simply because we have no idea what you look like.
(Bry) |
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By *oxy jWoman
over a year ago
somerset |
"Yeah as a newbie and not the best looking bloke
It isn’t easy is it!
it has zero to do with looks so thats a bit of a lame excuse it has everything to do with there are simple far too many men on here tho not that tats wrong as we are all free to join a free site but it makes a guys life so hard on here and with 1,000 of men joining everyday and very few women and couples it will only get harder ... for a guy sadly its a case of having to work so much harder to get notice .... just the way of the scene not fab ....a fab is by far the best site that provides the tools what it does not do and rightly so is offer up free sex for all
I agree with you all those men that aren't really Geniune spoil it for us that are "
sorry i disagree nobody ruins it for others they only ruin it for themselves ... you getting nowhere is down to you not because of anyone else ...only you can sell you only you can fuck you up what others do has no reflextion on you ..i see this so often men seems to like to put there getting nowhere on others who fuck up but at the end of the day its still down to you .. |
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"Yeah as a newbie and not the best looking bloke
It isn’t easy is it!
it has zero to do with looks so thats a bit of a lame excuse it has everything to do with there are simple far too many men on here tho not that tats wrong as we are all free to join a free site but it makes a guys life so hard on here and with 1,000 of men joining everyday and very few women and couples it will only get harder ... for a guy sadly its a case of having to work so much harder to get notice .... just the way of the scene not fab ....a fab is by far the best site that provides the tools what it does not do and rightly so is offer up free sex for all
I agree with you all those men that aren't really Geniune spoil it for us that are
sorry i disagree nobody ruins it for others they only ruin it for themselves ... you getting nowhere is down to you not because of anyone else ...only you can sell you only you can fuck you up what others do has no reflextion on you ..i see this so often men seems to like to put there getting nowhere on others who fuck up but at the end of the day its still down to you .."
Absolutely this. The amount of men who message us and then whinge about not being given a chance and blaming it on everyone else is not only off-putting, but tells us everything we need to know about them.
If you've signed up here expecting an easy fuck, you're mistaken. The only promise of this site is to put you in proximity to people of a similar mind set. Real world conditions still apply. |
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Check out the forums there are threads where other members are willing to help newbies get a social to get verified and if that's not good for you then go to a club or organise your own social meet. To be honest you get out of here what you put into it |
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"Coming onto the site as a newbie is hard, very few will give newbies a chance, how are newbies meant to get going on this site if nobody will give them a look in ? "
Sorry people are not falling on you're dick. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Don’t be a single guy lol But seriously there’s so many single guys compared to women and couples that you have to put effort into standing out. Not having a profile dick pic is the first and not having a bio is the second. Idk what else to say. Try clubs but you won’t get much luck as a guy cos you have to pay and women get in for free. You’ll be competing there too.
Just remember you’re not alone. Be respectful and be ready for rejection |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Swinging is not the golden ticket to sex many of you newbie guys think. "
Unless you’re a newbie couple or a woman. You get the pick of the bunch. Not complaining. Just the truth cos there’s sooooo many guys compared to women |
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By *sBlueWoman
over a year ago
Up North |
"Coming onto the site as a newbie is hard, very few will give newbies a chance, how are newbies meant to get going on this site if nobody will give them a look in ?
By being better than what gets put out there. That's how. You don't get pity fucks for being a newbie. There's no 'guaranteed hot dirty sex with single females in your area" just because you join the site."
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"Coming onto the site as a newbie is hard, very few will give newbies a chance, how are newbies meant to get going on this site if nobody will give them a look in ? "
That could read: 'newbies making little effort given no chance'.
Newbies making an effort with their profile and pics who go to socials or a club will get verified as genuine within days. If they are decent people, they'll find meets much easier to attract! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Swinging is not the golden ticket to sex many of you newbie guys think.
Unless you’re a newbie couple or a woman. You get the pick of the bunch. Not complaining. Just the truth cos there’s sooooo many guys compared to women "
Yeah but even if there was just 1 man on here, most women wouldn't fuck him if she didn't fancy him. The numbers aren't that relevant. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Swinging is not the golden ticket to sex many of you newbie guys think.
Unless you’re a newbie couple or a woman. You get the pick of the bunch. Not complaining. Just the truth cos there’s sooooo many guys compared to women
Yeah but even if there was just 1 man on here, most women wouldn't fuck him if she didn't fancy him. The numbers aren't that relevant. "
They’d have to be really unattractive if most women didn’t find him attractive. Besides you don’t need everyone to find you attractive. I saw one woman with over 100 verifications  maybe but it helps |
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"Swinging is not the golden ticket to sex many of you newbie guys think.
Unless you’re a newbie couple or a woman. You get the pick of the bunch. Not complaining. Just the truth cos there’s sooooo many guys compared to women "
We really don't. Attraction matters, connection matters. As is becoming increasingly obvious, there's a huge perception issue about 'luck' and 'ease'. Just because there's 'more on offer' doesn't mean everything is on offer. Some of us aren't willing to sacrifice standards. |
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"There are some guaranteed ways of getting meets on this site, it's not hard when you think about it
If you are a couple or single female, yes. "
I was a single guy on here for years, never struggled. And I'm clearly no Adonis with a foot long cock!
Things guaranteed to put off a lot of couples and females: whinging, being a dick, assuming you'll get laid by turning up, whinging.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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There seems to be one of these threads every week.
We've filtered out single guys on Fab even though we want to have meets with single guys. We had thousands of messages over a few short months and had just two meets. Speaking to other couples who do the Stag/Vixen thing it's hard to meet good looking single guys who aren't sleazy and creepy on Fab. We use traditional dating sites now and have found that much better.
One sure fire way for us to know that a guy would be unsuitable was if his profile pic was a cock pic. We would delete those without opening. Read too many and learnt to give them a wide berth.
Meeting couples is just as hard on Fab. So many timewasters and single guys posing as a couple. We've found other ways to meet couples now.
It's really hard for single guys to get meets but there is this assumption that women and couples have it easy.
We use Fab to keep in touch with people that we meet at socials and clubs. |
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"There seems to be one of these threads every week.
We've filtered out single guys on Fab even though we want to have meets with single guys. We had thousands of messages over a few short months and had just two meets. Speaking to other couples who do the Stag/Vixen thing it's hard to meet good looking single guys who aren't sleazy and creepy on Fab. We use traditional dating sites now and have found that much better.
One sure fire way for us to know that a guy would be unsuitable was if his profile pic was a cock pic. We would delete those without opening. Read too many and learnt to give them a wide berth.
Meeting couples is just as hard on Fab. So many timewasters and single guys posing as a couple. We've found other ways to meet couples now.
It's really hard for single guys to get meets but there is this assumption that women and couples have it easy.
We use Fab to keep in touch with people that we meet at socials and clubs. "
Same here, we’re keen to meet single guys but the sheer volume of sleazy messages is relentless. We leave it to chance now, not hard to get a guy to go for a 3 some that we meet out |
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"Can I just point out I’m not whinging.. I’m just sympathising with the plight of the single male.. "
That plight is yours alone. Own it and do something about it rather than whine and play the victim. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Swinging is not the golden ticket to sex many of you newbie guys think.
Unless you’re a newbie couple or a woman. You get the pick of the bunch. Not complaining. Just the truth cos there’s sooooo many guys compared to women
We really don't. Attraction matters, connection matters. As is becoming increasingly obvious, there's a huge perception issue about 'luck' and 'ease'. Just because there's 'more on offer' doesn't mean everything is on offer. Some of us aren't willing to sacrifice standards."
Absolutely agree with this comment. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Coming onto the site as a newbie is hard, very few will give newbies a chance, how are newbies meant to get going on this site if nobody will give them a look in ? "
Get rid of the dick pic |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Ok fair points made people learnt abit about the site reading your comments, thanks for the replies "
Well done and good on you for taking it in and embracing what others have said
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Swinging is not the golden ticket to sex many of you newbie guys think.
Unless you’re a newbie couple or a woman. You get the pick of the bunch. Not complaining. Just the truth cos there’s sooooo many guys compared to women "
You actually don't get the pick as a couple or a single woman - swinging is not the golden ticket to sex ..... that applies to everyone.
What it means is.... just because people are swingers it doesn't mean they will fuck everyone that comes along.
As a couple we have a rule and that is...
We both have to be comfortable with whoever we meet before any sex happens.
When we meet other couples we both need to like both members of another couple. If one of us isn't keen on one of the other couple nothing will happen sex wise.
It works in return too, if one of the other couple isn't comfortable with one of us, then it ain't happening either.
Finding a 4 way match is way more difficult than finding a two way match.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Swinging is not the golden ticket to sex many of you newbie guys think.
Unless you’re a newbie couple or a woman. You get the pick of the bunch. Not complaining. Just the truth cos there’s sooooo many guys compared to women
You actually don't get the pick as a couple or a single woman - swinging is not the golden ticket to sex ..... that applies to everyone.
What it means is.... just because people are swingers it doesn't mean they will fuck everyone that comes along.
As a couple we have a rule and that is...
We both have to be comfortable with whoever we meet before any sex happens.
When we meet other couples we both need to like both members of another couple. If one of us isn't keen on one of the other couple nothing will happen sex wise.
It works in return too, if one of the other couple isn't comfortable with one of us, then it ain't happening either.
Finding a 4 way match is way more difficult than finding a two way match.
"
This is exactly our experience. So hard to get four way attraction. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Coming onto the site as a newbie is hard, very few will give newbies a chance, how are newbies meant to get going on this site if nobody will give them a look in ? "
It's hard for any single guy on here, we make up the highest percentage of people on here and we are probably the least desirable compared to couples and single women, but it can also be hard for those in different ways too, for incidence for couples it can be very difficult to find another couple that they are both attracted to and for single women if you see some of the vulgar messages they get on top of the amount of messages they get anyway it's a wonder any of them have the patience to stick around |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Also OP personally for me, if me and the wife where looking for a single guy on here we won't touch you with a barge pole after reading your bio and seeing the bit about you not being bothered if someone has a partner or not, swinging isn't about cheating so that comment would probably put a lot of couples Off |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Also OP personally for me, if me and the wife where looking for a single guy on here we won't touch you with a barge pole after reading your bio and seeing the bit about you not being bothered if someone has a partner or not, swinging isn't about cheating so that comment would probably put a lot of couples Off"
Why teach him how to remove an important red flag?
That's how he feels so let him own it and then the people who don't want to engage with that type of person (probably the majority) can give him a wide berth |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Also OP personally for me, if me and the wife where looking for a single guy on here we won't touch you with a barge pole after reading your bio and seeing the bit about you not being bothered if someone has a partner or not, swinging isn't about cheating so that comment would probably put a lot of couples Off
Why teach him how to remove an important red flag?
That's how he feels so let him own it and then the people who don't want to engage with that type of person (probably the majority) can give him a wide berth "
Never thought of it like that lol, I'll be more careful in the future |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Coming onto the site as a newbie is hard, very few will give newbies a chance, how are newbies meant to get going on this site if nobody will give them a look in ?
By being better than what gets put out there. That's how. You don't get pity fucks for being a newbie. There's no 'guaranteed hot dirty sex with single females in your area" just because you join the site.
I'm sure pity fucks were mentioned in the brochure...
Did you get the premium invite? Its only offered to VIPs."
Basic invite with chance of upgrade after 6 months. |
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I wish people would think of 'online' as a simple extension of themselves. Online IS the real world. Fab may not be exactly the High Street, in this analogy, but it's not the clothes-optional floor of a swingers' club, either.
Best to think of it as a social at a pub. You know the people attending are sex-positive, quite possibly kinky, less likely to judge, happy to flirt with the right person, etc.
But would you thrust your cock out at a complete stranger in a pub? Would you swathe your body in impenetrable fabric, except for a small section around your erect cock? Would you begin your very first conversation whining that no-one will fuck you, minutes after you arrive?
Fab is a crossroads where many travellers meet and mingle. Most aren't heading in your direction. Some who are already have all the company they need. Still others will enjoy your company as a fellow explorer, but not wish to share their tent. Try to learn to enjoy the mingling, the sights, smells, and excitement of being in this environment. To be here is already a pleasure. |
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By *TG3Man
over a year ago
Dorchester |
"Coming onto the site as a newbie is hard, very few will give newbies a chance, how are newbies meant to get going on this site if nobody will give them a look in ? "
you haven't asked for profile advice but you need it lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I wish people would think of 'online' as a simple extension of themselves. Online IS the real world. Fab may not be exactly the High Street, in this analogy, but it's not the clothes-optional floor of a swingers' club, either.
Best to think of it as a social at a pub. You know the people attending are sex-positive, quite possibly kinky, less likely to judge, happy to flirt with the right person, etc.
But would you thrust your cock out at a complete stranger in a pub? Would you swathe your body in impenetrable fabric, except for a small section around your erect cock? Would you begin your very first conversation whining that no-one will fuck you, minutes after you arrive?
Fab is a crossroads where many travellers meet and mingle. Most aren't heading in your direction. Some who are already have all the company they need. Still others will enjoy your company as a fellow explorer, but not wish to share their tent. Try to learn to enjoy the mingling, the sights, smells, and excitement of being in this environment. To be here is already a pleasure."
  |
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By *UFSWoman
over a year ago
belfast |
Do you think people join the site and say to themselves,"let's give some random bloke a chance"?
You got to build a rapport with others,a connection.
If it's a quick fuck you want,hire a lady of the night |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Coming onto the site as a newbie is hard, very few will give newbies a chance, how are newbies meant to get going on this site if nobody will give them a look in ? "
Its not just newbies. There are plenty of men on here that follow all the 'rules' (interesting profile, photos, 'read' the profiles, make an effort in the first message, etc) but still struggle. As others have mentioned, the ratio of men to women is huge. Couples looking for singles, can take their pick. Clubs appear to be the most successful route but the for obvious reasons, the number of single men are restricted and they pay through the nose to get in.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Do you think people join the site and say to themselves,"let's give some random bloke a chance"?
You got to build a rapport with others,a connection.
If it's a quick fuck you want,hire a lady of the night"
After contacting a fair few clubs, I think your right its cheaper to get a lady of the night, but I don't think that's the OP is looking for that. |
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"Coming onto the site as a newbie is hard, very few will give newbies a chance, how are newbies meant to get going on this site if nobody will give them a look in ?
Its not just newbies. There are plenty of men on here that follow all the 'rules' (interesting profile, photos, 'read' the profiles, make an effort in the first message, etc) but still struggle. As others have mentioned, the ratio of men to women is huge. Couples looking for singles, can take their pick. Clubs appear to be the most successful route but the for obvious reasons, the number of single men are restricted and they pay through the nose to get in.
"
Don’t expect the ratio of ladies to men in a club to be that great, even on nights where single guys are limited either. Clubs just reflect the swinging scene in miniature; mostly couples and single guys, with the occasional single female….. |
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By *bi HaiveMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
"Coming onto the site as a newbie is hard, very few will give newbies a chance, how are newbies meant to get going on this site if nobody will give them a look in ?
Its not just newbies. There are plenty of men on here that follow all the 'rules' (interesting profile, photos, 'read' the profiles, make an effort in the first message, etc) but still struggle. As others have mentioned, the ratio of men to women is huge. Couples looking for singles, can take their pick. Clubs appear to be the most successful route but the for obvious reasons, the number of single men are restricted and they pay through the nose to get in.
"
Following all 'the rules' as you put it is all well and good. But never forget, the vast majority of women and men on here, especially couples, aren't looking for long term relationships, just no strings, no commitment encounters. So they'll want to meet with those that tick as many of their boxes as possible in terms of looks, interests and preferences.
This means that most won't drop standards or just settle for whoever gets in touch or is available at the right time. So regardless of how nice, well behaved, polite, charming and respectful someone is.....if they don't fancy you then the odds of them wanting to have sex with you are slim to none.
Those in couples have eachother. They don't need to take the first option available and can take time to find the right people. As can women. And strangely enough - so can men.
A |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Agree with all the above but also by excluding MF couples you could be missing out on a hot wife. (And no, I'm not offering lol) Mrs x"
Loads of hot wife's out there xxx |
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For us , if a 0rofile just has pictures of a c9ck we assume that's all the person is ,
Women like a bit more than a cock , we like a guy in a nice suit, or part open shirt something to drawer the imagination and a face and body pic as vain as it sounds if you.dont fancy someone you wont be shaggung them and your profile dont show alot |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"For us , if a 0rofile just has pictures of a c9ck we assume that's all the person is ,
Women like a bit more than a cock , we like a guy in a nice suit, or part open shirt something to drawer the imagination and a face and body pic as vain as it sounds if you.dont fancy someone you wont be shaggung them and your profile dont show alot "
Do you like my suit lol don't look at my face lol xxx |
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"Coming onto the site as a newbie is hard, very few will give newbies a chance, how are newbies meant to get going on this site if nobody will give them a look in ? "
Mate join in the forums, chat to people. Respond to posts, add posts of your own.
I was a newbie been on here over a year now. Be polite, don't be pushy, don't be rude, don't be a twat it's not about you, if they don't reply its a NO move on, don't get bithchy about it, take advice to improve your profile, join a discussion, post your own thoughts or comments in the forum (only if you want to).
Just remember their are more cocks on here then hens and a majority of those cocks are twats towards the hens and a minority c***'s. So the rest of us are tarred and feathered with the same brush.
So it's a real battle for the good guys to get lucky. And the ladies like to shop and are choosy for all the right reasons.
So come join us, enjoy the view, enjoy the banter, make friends, be nice and it will happen for you.
But if you think you joined and there are folk on here gagging for it because it's a swingers site and you have a cock then you are in for a shock mate lol.
So for now browse the site and enjoy and keep Mrs palm and her 5 daughters busy and enjoy.
If you joined it they will come and so will you
Have fun |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Coming onto the site as a newbie is hard, very few will give newbies a chance, how are newbies meant to get going on this site if nobody will give them a look in ?
Mate join in the forums, chat to people. Respond to posts, add posts of your own.
I was a newbie been on here over a year now. Be polite, don't be pushy, don't be rude, don't be a twat it's not about you, if they don't reply its a NO move on, don't get bithchy about it, take advice to improve your profile, join a discussion, post your own thoughts or comments in the forum (only if you want to).
Just remember their are more cocks on here then hens and a majority of those cocks are twats towards the hens and a minority c***'s. So the rest of us are tarred and feathered with the same brush.
So it's a real battle for the good guys to get lucky. And the ladies like to shop and are choosy for all the right reasons.
So come join us, enjoy the view, enjoy the banter, make friends, be nice and it will happen for you.
But if you think you joined and there are folk on here gagging for it because it's a swingers site and you have a cock then you are in for a shock mate lol.
So for now browse the site and enjoy and keep Mrs palm and her 5 daughters busy and enjoy.
If you joined it they will come and so will you
Have fun "
Love this.. |
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"Coming onto the site as a newbie is hard, very few will give newbies a chance, how are newbies meant to get going on this site if nobody will give them a look in ? "
Probably already been covered by others but here’s my advice…
Go to socials and clubs and actually TALK TO PEOPLE!… Don’t go thinking you’ll get a shag, use it as a social occasion where you’re going to show people who you are as a person.
Set a profile pic that isn’t a dick pick… lots of people won’t even look at a profile if it’s just a silhouette.
Get more pics on your profile that aren’t dick pics… you don’t have to show your face, there are other bits of you. Dick pics are not attractive to the majority, so they shouldn’t be the majority of your pics either.
Your profile text isn’t bad, maybe add a bit more about you as a person rather than what you’re looking for.
Interact on the forums… obviously you’ve started doing this, so expand on it… particularly in the Lounge… and again, don’t make it all sex all the time.
Be polite and most importantly don’t expect anything… there are literally thousands of single guys for people to choose from, so statistically you are going to be far less successful, at least until you’ve built up a good reputation.
Hope this helps |
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By *UFSWoman
over a year ago
belfast |
"Do you think people join the site and say to themselves,"let's give some random bloke a chance"?
You got to build a rapport with others,a connection.
If it's a quick fuck you want,hire a lady of the night
After contacting a fair few clubs, I think your right its cheaper to get a lady of the night, but I don't think that's the OP is looking for that. "
Your right,he wants it for nothing,no payment,no interaction,no connection,just a fuck. Good luck to him,and anyone else that think the same way  |
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Well the 1st thing anyone should do when joining fab is learn to read and then realise the odds are stacked against you being a male and then even higher with just a famous or is it infamous " Knob" picture or even pictures as despite the overwhelming numbers of couples/fems stating that they dislike and even ignore profiles with just "Knob" pictures ?? and yet the average male still persists in and us personally we wouldn't entertain meeting up with someone with just a knob picture and in fact just block them now xxxx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"So to everyone who joined Fab, how long when you joined the site, take for you to meet someone??
To be honest for me it was about a month then I met with the couple for a couple of years! "
Oh I see ok, a month is not long, I only joined a month ago myself so hopefully I meet someone soon I guess?? |
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"Coming onto the site as a newbie is hard, very few will give newbies a chance, how are newbies meant to get going on this site if nobody will give them a look in ? "
Everyone was new at one time.
Including in that everyone are single guys without verifications. Nobody will say it’s easy for guys but you can always boost your chances by taking some of the advice given or using your own initiative.
Either way it’s up to you, persevere or UNLOS. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You are so right!
I put genuine swingers only on my profile but guys just think I’m easy. "
Some people think that 'genuine Swingers' will fuck anyone who asks...... |
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By *oxy jWoman
over a year ago
somerset |
the fact is nobody has to give you a chance ..nobody owes you anything and there a good chance that nobody will due to the silly amount of men on here compared to how few women /couples there are ..
its a swingers site for people into or around the lifestyle of swinging ..
its not a im entitled to sex on a plate at the click of fingers site which is where most men who join go wrong ..
if you want sex then go else where if you want to get involved in swinging then as a man you will have to put some effot in ie a club make friends then if you attract anyone doors may open |
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By *oxy jWoman
over a year ago
somerset |
also alot of us were swinging before sites like fab we were doing the old way word of mouth most of it was back then house parties and dogging ..there were hardly any clubs nearest for us was west midlands back then |
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"So to everyone who joined Fab, how long when you joined the site, take for you to meet someone??
18 hours
The power of boobs, innit....... 
A"
Something like that.
I got extremely lucky. Still a dear friend. |
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I found it easier as a newbie five years ago and it still took months to get anywhere. I actually find it harder to get a meaningful response now with verifications etc.
Good luck. Don't expect anything handed to you on a plate. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"So to everyone who joined Fab, how long when you joined the site, take for you to meet someone??
18 hours
The power of boobs, innit.......
For a woman it be easy, it was more of a question for the men lol
A
Something like that.
I got extremely lucky. Still a dear friend."
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By *ixfootCouple
over a year ago
Coventry |
Couple of new guys (joined yesterday or within 4 hours) message us about our meet, Then when given a chance. They have plans with friends tonight, or 'too far away sorry' both blown it now. We had a new lad couple weeks ago who cancelled on us with half hour to go because he was 'nervous'.
Easy to see why they're ignored, it's difficult enough getting someone to turn up when they're verified and keen. |
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"Coming onto the site as a newbie is hard, very few will give newbies a chance, how are newbies meant to get going on this site if nobody will give them a look in ? "
Stick with it, that first time a hot wife starts sucking your cock and you make eye contact with hubby and both smile……..priceless |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I totally agree with this, I’m polite and always respectful. Always read profile and personalise messages accordingly. My messages are either ignored or deleted, I find it rude especially when I put a bit of effort in. Cmon girls, give me a chance!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I’m an newbie and really finding it difficult to get anywhere. I’m polite and always respectful. Always read profile and personalise messages accordingly. My messages are either ignored or deleted, I find it so frustrating especially when I put a bit of effort in. Cmon girls, give me a chance, please lol |
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"I’m an newbie and really finding it difficult to get anywhere. I’m polite and always respectful. Always read profile and personalise messages accordingly. My messages are either ignored or deleted, I find it so frustrating especially when I put a bit of effort in. Cmon girls, give me a chance, please lol "
Maybe just wink first then message if they wink back? Saves your time writing a message as if you're not their type, they won't respond |
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"go to a club near you,
most people are not really all that "fab", or genuine "swingers" ."
But doesn't guarantee any action. When i been to clubs, i just see single men walking around wanking. Very few get action. |
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"Couple of new guys (joined yesterday or within 4 hours) message us about our meet, Then when given a chance. They have plans with friends tonight, or 'too far away sorry' both blown it now. We had a new lad couple weeks ago who cancelled on us with half hour to go because he was 'nervous'.
Easy to see why they're ignored, it's difficult enough getting someone to turn up when they're verified and keen."
This! And to tie in with the idea that it's easy to get meets as a couple. There's been multiple times where we get a very rare chance to accom, none of our fab friends were available and all the guys who approached us on here didn't fit the bill. We're still looking for someone we can get on with, even if the end goal is sex... |
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We always try our best to give "Newbies" a chance but most "Expect" sex ? or say they don't ? and most are on here as they are to "Tight" to go on the sites where "Sex" is 100% on offer and guaranteed ?? like mos things in life it's the effort you put in and posting a pictures of your privates isn't classed as making a effort by most couples/fems looking for males ? |
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By *harAndBryCouple
over a year ago
Peterborough / Stamford |
"This! And to tie in with the idea that it's easy to get meets as a couple. There's been multiple times where we get a very rare chance to accom, none of our fab friends were available and all the guys who approached us on here didn't fit the bill. We're still looking for someone we can get on with, even if the end goal is sex..."
Definitely not easy for couples. Our two opportunities this week are Sunday and Monday. Sundays just cancelled, Mondays hasn't even read our last message from two days ago and experience tells us that's the last we're going to hear of him.
(Bry) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I didnt expect to get sex straight away after joining the site, thats fantasy land thinking. I think I haveto put in the work but I just find it rude when people ignore your message even when I'm not making any vulgar comments. |
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By *harAndBryCouple
over a year ago
Peterborough / Stamford |
"I can take rejection easily, if a womans not interested then all she has to say is not interested and thats it I move on."
The Fab FAQ (you have read the Fab FAQ, haven't you?) explicitly states "If you don't get a response, you should assume they aren't interested".
Your profile isn't bad, you're not bad looking, so it's either "wrong woman wrong time", or your first message doesn't lend itself to a reply. No-one can advise as we don't know what you're sending.
(Bry) |
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"Swinging is not the golden ticket to sex many of you newbie guys think. "
And I think most of us dreaded single blokes would agree with that , but the vast majority of couples /female profiles saying they won't meet anyone "not meet verified" is soul destroying. |
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"Swinging is not the golden ticket to sex many of you newbie guys think.
And I think most of us dreaded single blokes would agree with that , but the vast majority of couples /female profiles saying they won't meet anyone "not meet verified" is soul destroying. "
Personally I think it's more important with women and couples, to show they're genuine blah blah. Although I'm sure some folks do it to whittle down their pool of single guys |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I would not meet someone on a private meet verifications or not. You can go to a club to get verifications, don't even need to play. I have met extremely respectful people chatted to them got a really good sense of them being a decent human and watched them behave like a gentleman then verified them. |
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"I would not meet someone on a private meet verifications or not. You can go to a club to get verifications, don't even need to play. I have met extremely respectful people chatted to them got a really good sense of them being a decent human and watched them behave like a gentleman then verified them. "
Them gentlemen you have mentioned are few and far between. Hence I would prefer a well verified person |
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By *sBlueWoman
over a year ago
Up North |
"I didnt expect to get sex straight away after joining the site, thats fantasy land thinking. I think I haveto put in the work but I just find it rude when people ignore your message even when I'm not making any vulgar comments."
It’s not rude. Have you read the site rules? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I would not meet someone on a private meet verifications or not. You can go to a club to get verifications, don't even need to play. I have met extremely respectful people chatted to them got a really good sense of them being a decent human and watched them behave like a gentleman then verified them.
Them gentlemen you have mentioned are few and far between. Hence I would prefer a well verified person "
Totally agree |
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"I didnt expect to get sex straight away after joining the site, thats fantasy land thinking. I think I haveto put in the work but I just find it rude when people ignore your message even when I'm not making any vulgar comments."
Get yourself along to any one of the BMFC events run in the clubs, you’ll be fine my friend |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I did get a message from a 50 year old woman who wants to me when she's in London despite her profile saying she's mainly looking for women and couple's |
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"I did get a message from a 50 year old woman who wants to me when she's in London despite her profile saying she's mainly looking for women and couple's "
Many women have their profile set to ‘Not looking for single guys’ to prevent overload on their inbox |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I've been on different sites on and off for years and just come back to fab recently and have never thought about my actions with my plonker in my hand. Keep posting, fabbing, piccing, laughing and have some fun. Fab is just the same as your life in the outside world and not a secret doorway to a sexual paradise. |
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"I've been on different sites on and off for years and just come back to fab recently and have never thought about my actions with my plonker in my hand. Keep posting, fabbing, piccing, laughing and have some fun. Fab is just the same as your life in the outside world and not a secret doorway to a sexual paradise."
Absolutely this! Statistically speaking; you’ve got more chances of ‘pulling’ in your local Weatherspoons, than you have in Fab! Just enjoy the different look at Life, and various kinks people share in here, NEVER take Fab seriously! |
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By *ebwizMan
over a year ago
Clevedon |
If its sex go for organized parties. I have, as much sex as you can cope with, i was knackered after 3 times in 2 hrs, well my cock was done for. Some people want the chit chat. I didnt. Clubs worked well, if you liked them ask, if they reciprocated get it on. Never see them again. Mixed success in clubs, sometimes nothing or too clicky. The parties always good fun. Everyone has there own definition of swinging, but single woman meets on here, very hard to achieve, and lots of time wasters too. |
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"If its sex go for organized parties. I have, as much sex as you can cope with, i was knackered after 3 times in 2 hrs, well my cock was done for. Some people want the chit chat. I didnt. Clubs worked well, if you liked them ask, if they reciprocated get it on. Never see them again. Mixed success in clubs, sometimes nothing or too clicky. The parties always good fun. Everyone has there own definition of swinging, but single woman meets on here, very hard to achieve, and lots of time wasters too. "
Yep, clubs tend to be clicky overall, and not very welcoming to single guys. Bi guys and black guys have the most success in the club scene, unless you’re a local/regular |
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