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Is Phone chat considerd cheating ?
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By *erces LetiferMan
over a year ago
Somewhere off the edge of the map... 'ere there be monsters |
Cheating, at its core, is consent violation. So, what counts or does not count as cheating can differ for each and every relationship.
Basically, anything done behind the back of a partner and without their informed consent is, by definition, cheating. |
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"What if other party is aware and just doesn’t agree"
If one partner is considering doing something that the other doesn't agree with it's not cheating. It is a blatant disregard of their feelings though |
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"What if other party is aware and just doesn’t agree
If one partner is considering doing something that the other doesn't agree with it's not cheating. It is a blatant disregard of their feelings though "
This. |
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"Cheating, at its core, is consent violation. So, what counts or does not count as cheating can differ for each and every relationship.
Basically, anything done behind the back of a partner and without their informed consent is, by definition, cheating."
Exactly this. If truly in this lifestyle together there should be no secrets and no need for cheating/straying in any form. Oh life would be much more simple if people would actually talk to each other instead of creeping around behind supposed love ones backs  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Are you happy to go and tell your partner who you spoke to and what you spoke about, honestly. And know they won't be mad or hurt?
If the answer is yes, your not cheating.
If the answer is no, you are. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Yes I would be completely happy to tell him , the point of him being allowed to chat to whom he likes or text , but not me… I just think it’s really unfair and one sided , that’s how it is basically, makes me feel sad. And deflated , |
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"Cheating, at its core, is consent violation. So, what counts or does not count as cheating can differ for each and every relationship.
Basically, anything done behind the back of a partner and without their informed consent is, by definition, cheating."
Agree. Pretty what this gentleman said above. If it is done behind your partners without their knoledge it is cheating. Chatting will lead to other things or you are hoping they will or you would not be chatting to other women/men without your partner knowing! |
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"Yes I would be completely happy to tell him , the point of him being allowed to chat to whom he likes or text , but not me… I just think it’s really unfair and one sided , that’s how it is basically, makes me feel sad. And deflated , "
Unless you're in a very specific type of relationship where one-sidedness is embraced and makes you both happy, then this is simply unfair and wrong.
We have a lobsided relationship in lots of ways, certainly in a sexual way, ie Mrs is free and male isn't, but the male could still chat to others.
Sounds really miserable and I think you've every right to feel down. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'd say anything sexually gratifying with another person you deliberately keep from your partner is cheating"
I agree with this. Chatting to female friends is fine. But chatting to females from fab and not telling your partner I think is cheating. If you have nothing to hide from your partner then why not be honest.
Relationship won't last long without honesty. |
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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago
Dubai & Nottingham |
"Yes I would be completely happy to tell him , the point of him being allowed to chat to whom he likes or text , but not me… I just think it’s really unfair and one sided , that’s how it is basically, makes me feel sad. And deflated , "
I think you have much bigger issues than chatting to others. |
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By *erces LetiferMan
over a year ago
Somewhere off the edge of the map... 'ere there be monsters |
"Yes I would be completely happy to tell him , the point of him being allowed to chat to whom he likes or text , but not me… I just think it’s really unfair and one sided , that’s how it is basically, makes me feel sad. And deflated ,"
Wait, so... I'm guessing I'm addressing Lilly of this couple's profile? And your partner is Paul, correct? And what you're saying is, Paul has made a rule for your relationship that he can chat/text/whatever to whomever he likes, and I'm assuming of a sexual nature? Meanwhile, you are not allowed to do the same, and this is against your consent/wishes? Have I got this right so far?
If yes, then this is NOT okay. A relationship should be built on mutually agreed upon rules and boundaries. In the above scenario Paul is clearly violating a boundary of yours, and seems to me like coercive/controlling behaviour. Lilly, I'd strongly suggest a very serious chat with Paul about this at the least, if not leaving the realtionship at the most. Paul; what you playin' at, mate? |
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"Advice and others point of view very welcome "
By whom?
Not for us, but some couples have rules about not flirting, not being alone with members of the opposite sex, no discussion of sex, etc.
So each couple is different. |
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"What if other party is aware and just doesn’t agree
If one partner is considering doing something that the other doesn't agree with it's not cheating. It is a blatant disregard of their feelings though "
Yep! Might actually be worse than cheating.
It's intentionally risking the relationship. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yes I would be completely happy to tell him , the point of him being allowed to chat to whom he likes or text , but not me… I just think it’s really unfair and one sided , that’s how it is basically, makes me feel sad. And deflated ,
Wait, so... I'm guessing I'm addressing Lilly of this couple's profile? And your partner is Paul, correct? And what you're saying is, Paul has made a rule for your relationship that he can chat/text/whatever to whomever he likes, and I'm assuming of a sexual nature? Meanwhile, you are not allowed to do the same, and this is against your consent/wishes? Have I got this right so far?
If yes, then this is NOT okay. A relationship should be built on mutually agreed upon rules and boundaries. In the above scenario Paul is clearly violating a boundary of yours, and seems to me like coercive/controlling behaviour. Lilly, I'd strongly suggest a very serious chat with Paul about this at the least, if not leaving the realtionship at the most. Paul; what you playin' at, mate?"
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"Yes I would be completely happy to tell him , the point of him being allowed to chat to whom he likes or text , but not me… I just think it’s really unfair and one sided , that’s how it is basically, makes me feel sad. And deflated , "
This does not sound like a healthy state for a relationship. And especially bad if you're involving other people. |
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