FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Neurodivergent - wonky-brained sensory room p10

Neurodivergent - wonky-brained sensory room p10

Jump to: Newest in thread

By *orny PT OP Man over a year ago

Peterborough

Has it really come this far?

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *orny PT OP Man over a year ago

Peterborough

Welcome to the latest edition of the wonky-brained corner of Fab! Feel free to pull up a chair (quietly). And although this is fab, please feel free to leave your masks at the door.

This is a place for all neurodivergent people to chat, get to know one another and discuss how Autism, ADHD, dyslexisa, dyspraxia and other conditions effect our lives and swinging.

Friends, lovers and allies are welcome, but be aware that we fiercely protect our own here.

A big thanks to everyone who has dropped in and added to this well needed conversation.

Previous seasons are still available for replay at the links below:

P8 - https://fabswingers.com/forum/support/1385017#top

P7 - https://www.fabswingers.com/forum/support/1384337P6 - https://fabswingers.com/forum/support/1379859

P5 - https://fabswingers.com/forum/support/1378212

P4 - https://fabswingers.com/forum/support/1375399

P3 - https://fabswingers.com/forum/support/1374628

P2 - https://fabswingers.com/forum/support/1369444

P1 - https://fabswingers.com/forum/support/1346028

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *orny PT OP Man over a year ago

Peterborough

This is all Aaron's doing!

One of the longest conversations on fab.

Well done that man.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *arkandlovelyWoman over a year ago

South Derbyshire

Season 10!

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *penbicoupleCouple over a year ago

Northampton

Just to add:

P9 - https://m.fabswingers.com/forum/swingers/1386683

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"This is all Aaron's doing!

One of the longest conversations on fab.

Well done that man."

As much as i would love to take credit for this ...

Original poster was - newtothis200

All I dis was make a part 2...

And if anything I would like go applaud everyone that comes here either just for a read, to post , there daily checkin whatever it may be the fact that I'm seeing new faces aswell as older names from meny threads shows that we all have a great community and support each other...

This is definitely not down to a single person bit all of us wonky brained fuckers being there for each other 3

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *orny PT OP Man over a year ago

Peterborough

Well done Aaron for starting off a chain reaction called "cathedral building" where everybody adds their own efforts to make something mundane beautiful and interesting (I'm an atheist, but it's still a brilliant analogy).

Forgot to add page nine, doh!

the book idea is on page 8!

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *orny PT OP Man over a year ago

Peterborough

"Just to add:

P9 - https://m.fabswingers.com/forum/swingers/1386683"

Thanks Jack/Alice

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Well done Aaron "

Something something ..... it's Arran....

I had an Aaron in my form group I'm school was pronounced air-ron

Mines A - r - ran

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *penbicoupleCouple over a year ago

Northampton

"TAs much as i would love to take credit for this ...

Original poster was - newtothis200

All I dis was make a part 2...

And as much as I would hate to take credit away from Arran (sincerely, thank you!) and newtothis200, if you do a forum search for 'autism,' there are dozens of threads pre-dating our little club here.

That's heart-warming, but also shows that many of us have been seeking advice, support and solidarity for a good while. You'd think they would have given us our own section by now!

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *orny PT OP Man over a year ago

Peterborough

Whoops, I'm a part time grammar cop and have only met to lads called aaron, 1st and 2nd names.

My spelling is usually Ok, sorry...err sorry Arran.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *orny PT OP Man over a year ago

Peterborough

"TAs much as i would love to take credit for this ...

Original poster was - newtothis200

All I dis was make a part 2...

That's heart-warming, but also shows that many of us have been seeking advice, support and solidarity for a good while. You'd think they would have given us our own section by now!

There are hundreds of threads, but some how he captivated me to join in, then launch my thoughts and fat fingers on to this this corner of FAB.

Historically it's not the first inventor who gets the credit, but the best market.

Apple may have invented the iPhone, which caused many copycats/became the default, but they never ever invented touch screens or smart phones.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *orny PT OP Man over a year ago

Peterborough

the book idea is this...

What a brilliant description!

Thanks for that, it's the second compliment this week on the subject!

Please tell me you will write a book!!

What on, I need ideas? and a deadline to go WHOOSH over my head to get me started.

I can and have written spoof songs and some fictional www2 diaries., never published do of course and even tried to enter a nation advertising award last year, nver got nominaed though.

PM me if you're suitably bored.

I’d like to learn more about the link between the swinging lifestyle and ND! Maybe an audio book would be better; ok thanks!

I’ll give you a month - go go go!"

Challenge accepted, if you approve of this 1st draft.

I read a book on touch once, it explained the reasons on why it's good, taboo at times, historical changes and then what happens under the skin and in the brain. Sexual, sensual, sociological and chemical effects where explained in this too.

Can't remember who wrote it, or the title.

My first idea is to interview swingers from each age group., some singletons and some couples.

So each chapter would have the fist paragraph on who they are.

The next questions would be about swinging then being ND

1 When did you realise sex was fun?

2 When did you realise that being in a 1 on 1 relationship wasn't for you?

3 When did you first realise that swinging has your name on it?

4 When did you decide to do something about it? Straight away, or did it linger?

5 When did you turn up at a club? Where you alone, as a couple or where you some's guest?

6 Did you have fun and play?

7 What has swinging done to your sex life?

8 Does anyone in Vanilla land know about it?

9 Do you want to be normal? No one has ever asked this one.

10 Are you too shy to ask somebody out, or the complete opposite and very brazen?

11 Is swinging something the health care professional should take seriously in a positive note, as socialising hugging and sex really release those sorely needed happy hormones

12 Do you get withdrawal symptoms, if you don't swing, how much sex/hugs/time on FAB do you need? Do you get the right right amount of sex?

13 Steal a TARDIS and go back in time and have along bloody chat with your younger self: what would that chat be like?

14 Would you be in a better place after that chat?

Now about ND

1 When did you realise that your had different software in your head? What is your diagnosis?

2 What are those differences? Advantages and disadvantages?

3 Did your school/employers pick up on this?

4 Did you get any help? Then, now and in the future, list any treatments, good bad and ugly.

5 How much heartache has been caused?

6 Do you have any abilities that no one can keep up with, ie wordplay, humour, organisational skills.

7 Does social anxiety/shyness get in your way in Vanilla and

8 What sets you off and can it be reigned in, or does it require the help of others, or do you have to ride through 72 hours of major mood drops, for example?

9 Has this destroyed your life in anyway, bulling, relationship break up or a general feeling of being a wallflower and really needing to switch of and hide some where?

10 Do certain places/towns/situations/weather drain you?

11 Do certain places recharge your batteries?

12 Pets, how important are they to you? Do they help? if so how?

13 Steal a TARDIS and go back in time and have along bloody chat with your younger self: what would that chat be like?

14 Would you be in a better place after that chat?

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *orny PT OP Man over a year ago

Peterborough

"Season 10! "

We haven't even peaked yet!

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Whoops, I'm a part time grammar cop and have only met to lads called aaron, 1st and 2nd names.

My spelling is usually Ok, sorry...err sorry Arran.

I get it all the time to be honest ... I say it jokingly sort of XD

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *penbicoupleCouple over a year ago

Northampton

"Historically it's not the first inventor who gets the credit, but the best market.

Apple may have invented the iPhone, which caused many copycats/became the default, but they never ever invented touch screens or smart phones."

Very true!

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *penbicoupleCouple over a year ago

Northampton

"the book idea is this..."

Did you see my response regarding the book/questionnaire in the last season?

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *orny PT OP Man over a year ago

Peterborough

"Historically it's not the first inventor who gets the credit, but the best market.

Apple may have invented the iPhone, which caused many copycats/became the default, but they never ever invented touch screens or smart phones.

Very true!"

I can churn out these facts all day, but can't remember where I left my keys or parked my car.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Evening all x

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *penbicoupleCouple over a year ago

Northampton

"I can churn out these facts all day, but can't remember where I left my keys or parked my car."

Floor 3A, bay 16.

That's your keys. Not sure about the car.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *penbicoupleCouple over a year ago

Northampton

"Evening all x"

Evening.

Fantastic new profile pic!

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *orny PT OP Man over a year ago

Peterborough

"I can churn out these facts all day, but can't remember where I left my keys or parked my car.

Floor 3A, bay 16.

That's your keys. Not sure about the car."

Thanks, I may have left it on level 42 (long storey)

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Evening all x

Evening.

Fantastic new profile pic! "

Thanks

How’s your weekend going?

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *izzyRascalWoman over a year ago

North Hants

Checking in, lost the plot, saw this post by sheer luck haha

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Checking in, lost the plot, saw this post by sheer luck haha"

Welcome home x

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I see we've been moved to chat -- so they know what's going on and how much demand there is, but they still seem to be resisting an independent space.

Hello admin, what gives?

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *orny PT OP Man over a year ago

Peterborough

"I see we've been moved to chat -- so they know what's going on and how much demand there is, but they still seem to be resisting an independent space.

Hello admin, what gives?

admin can't even get the maps right, so don't hold your breath.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *orny PT OP Man over a year ago

Peterborough

"Checking in, lost the plot, saw this post by sheer luck haha"

That's ND minds for ya!

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *izzyRascalWoman over a year ago

North Hants

"I see we've been moved to chat -- so they know what's going on and how much demand there is, but they still seem to be resisting an independent space.

Hello admin, what gives?

Have we been moved or did season 9 and 10 just slip into the chat category by mistake? I can't see them having the tech to move things to be honest. Plus it's easy to not realise which part of the forum you are in, especially for ND folks

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *orny PT OP Man over a year ago

Peterborough

I don't know, that's an admin question.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *llSexMan over a year ago

The Midlands

Hello fellow Wonkies. Just stubbled in. Feels nice to be here all ready.

Sometimes my spelling may seem a bit odd, but I like odd....

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *orny PT OP Man over a year ago

Peterborough

"I see we've been moved to chat -- so they know what's going on and how much demand there is, but they still seem to be resisting an independent space.

Hello admin, what gives?

Unless of course, I started this one in the wrong location...

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *penbicoupleCouple over a year ago

Northampton

"Unless of course, I started this one in the wrong location..."

I'm almost certain that Season 9 was originally in the Support/Advice section.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *penbicoupleCouple over a year ago

Northampton

"I can't see them having the tech to move things to be honest. "

I would be very easy for them to move a forum thread from one section to another.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

In light of our new move ....

RIOT......

Although that's dealing with others and sounds like hard work .... I'm gonna go mumble in a corner

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *horley GirlWoman over a year ago

Local-ish

Just checking in. Part 9 totally passed me by

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *ohn KanakaMan over a year ago

Not all that North of North London

"I see we've been moved to chat -- so they know what's going on and how much demand there is, but they still seem to be resisting an independent space.

Hello admin, what gives?

I think we have been moved to chat, in fairness to admin we're 40 posts on on this one and it is chat. The earlier posts were mich more advice focussed but now it feels just like camping safe place where we all hang out and chat

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *izzyRascalWoman over a year ago

North Hants

"I can't see them having the tech to move things to be honest.

I would be very easy for them to move a forum thread from one section to another. "

I always see it as such a basic forum build. Didn't think they'd be bothered lol. But maybe I'm wrong!

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *izzyRascalWoman over a year ago

North Hants

" I think we have been moved to chat, in fairness to admin we're 40 posts on on this one and it is chat. The earlier posts were mich more advice focussed but now it feels just like camping safe place where we all hang out and chat"

Thing is we give advice in the middle of chat. Exactly why we need our own area lol.

My idea about using an ND specific tag didn't really take off

But any other suggestions?

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *loth280Man over a year ago

Caversham

Hey guys......have been made to think i might be a little differently wired by a few people recently....

Is there any benefit to having a diagnosis, or am i better off just accepting that i do things differently?

Sorry if this is a stupid question!

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Whoops, I'm a part time grammar cop "

What do you mean by that Mr??

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I see we've been moved to chat -- so they know what's going on and how much demand there is, but they still seem to be resisting an independent space.

Hello admin, what gives?

It moved before my eyes whilst I was replying to something, thought I was going mad

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *r TriomanMan over a year ago

Chippenham Malmesbury area

This has nearly been going as long as Friends... Well, not quite but give it time. Baggsy being Joey.... How you do-in?

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *ralNymphMan over a year ago

gillingham

This is so cool a adhd forum yaaaaaay loool who knew on fab there be a section for us to chat how nice ?? I only got diagnosed in may and I’m on elvanse 60mg and what a journey it’s been so far… random question do you think adhd effects your sex life ? Never ever thought about it til just now

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Hey guys......have been made to think i might be a little differently wired by a few people recently....

Is there any benefit to having a diagnosis, or am i better off just accepting that i do things differently?

Sorry if this is a stupid question!"

Not at all!

It depends what type of issues you are having to be honest and if you are managing them well enough to feel like you're functioning ok.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"random question do you think adhd effects your sex life ? Never ever thought about it til just now "

Oh most definitely

high sex drives and low sex drives are common. Plus the impulsiveness and compulsions can be problematic when it comes to sex.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *ralNymphMan over a year ago

gillingham

"random question do you think adhd effects your sex life ? Never ever thought about it til just now

Oh most definitely

high sex drives and low sex drives are common. Plus the impulsiveness and compulsions can be problematic when it comes to sex. "

Yeahh it actually makes sense cause never ending energy you just have so much to exert lol never really thought about it lol and the constant urges of impulsive naughty thoughts

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"random question do you think adhd effects your sex life ? Never ever thought about it til just now

Oh most definitely

high sex drives and low sex drives are common. Plus the impulsiveness and compulsions can be problematic when it comes to sex.

Yeahh it actually makes sense cause never ending energy you just have so much to exert lol never really thought about it lol and the constant urges of impulsive naughty thoughts "

There’s a really good video on YT by Hannah Witton - The impact of ADHD on Sex & Relationships.

We’re novelty seekers!

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *orny PT OP Man over a year ago

Peterborough

"Whoops, I'm a part time grammar cop

What do you mean by that Mr??

I do get a bit ocd with spelling, as this comes from learning to type at school, proper typewriters, IBMS that is. Also bad spelling doe irk me, even now with fat fingers, touch typing never got mastered by me.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Checking in to follow.

Apologies if I’m more absent than usual, came back from work on Saturday to find that someone broke into my flat and I’m stlll pretty shaken

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Checking in to follow.

Apologies if I’m more absent than usual, came back from work on Saturday to find that someone broke into my flat and I’m stlll pretty shaken "

That’s awful! What a shock that must have been! Sending hugs x

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *ophieslutTV/TS over a year ago

Central

I'm a fairly rubbish poster. But I'm here

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"This is so cool a adhd forum yaaaaaay loool who knew on fab there be a section for us to chat how nice ?? I only got diagnosed in may and I’m on elvanse 60mg and what a journey it’s been so far… random question do you think adhd effects your sex life ? Never ever thought about it til just now "

Definitely affects sex life, it affects all other areas.

It definitely affects relationships.

Sex wise, I think it makes me more adventurous in bed, I think it’s also part of the reason I feel at home in the swinging community. I think I’d find it hard to only ever have sex with one person, because I’m always seeking out new experiences.

Also, as others have said, there are times when I have what I call an ADHD crash. I run out of energy and need to rest and regroup, at these points my energy and motivation levels are low, it can look and feel a lot like depression, and at those times my sex drive takes a dive too.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

My adhd makes me very impulsive on sex the whole "thinking with my dick" as I crave that dopamine release

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Checking in to follow.

Apologies if I’m more absent than usual, came back from work on Saturday to find that someone broke into my flat and I’m stlll pretty shaken "

Oh no that's awful! Hope you're ok

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *atisfiedSighWoman over a year ago

NW Wiltshire

I'm growing to realise that I'm quite likely autistic. Just lately I've been having one of my silent phases where I just don't like speaking. Is that an ND thing?

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Whoops, I'm a part time grammar cop

What do you mean by that Mr??

As a dyslexic I'm not fond of the grammar police as you can imagine

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Whoops, I'm a part time grammar cop

What do you mean by that Mr??

As a dyslexic I'm not fond of the grammar police as you can imagine

With dyslexia and ADHD I don’t stand a chance! ??

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I'm growing to realise that I'm quite likely autistic. Just lately I've been having one of my silent phases where I just don't like speaking. Is that an ND thing? "

It sounds like it could be lovely, have you done much reasearch? Does anything else fit your experience?

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Checking in to follow.

Apologies if I’m more absent than usual, came back from work on Saturday to find that someone broke into my flat and I’m stlll pretty shaken "

So sorry to hear this.

Hope they catch the shit who did it.

Hugs

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Whoops, I'm a part time grammar cop

What do you mean by that Mr??

As a dyslexic I'm not fond of the grammar police as you can imagine

With dyslexia and ADHD I don’t stand a chance! ??"

Haha tell me about it!

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *hatChattyGuyMan over a year ago

folkestone

Evening all! On the grammar thing...I had to stop myself correcting someone in the forum for using "your" instead of "you're". Im still being ocd adhd twitchy about having to leave it

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *horley GirlWoman over a year ago

Local-ish

"Evening all! On the grammar thing...I had to stop myself correcting someone in the forum for using "your" instead of "you're". Im still being ocd adhd twitchy about having to leave it

It irritates me when people put on their profiles about blocking or shunning people with bad spelling/grammar or other such rants... Its hard for dyslexic people and others shouldn't be judgemental about someone because of it

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *hatChattyGuyMan over a year ago

folkestone

"Evening all! On the grammar thing...I had to stop myself correcting someone in the forum for using "your" instead of "you're". Im still being ocd adhd twitchy about having to leave it

Well the irony is im mega dyslexic and wouldn't be any the wiser without autocorrect saving me all the time so I'm not judging per say...but "their, there, they're, your and you're" i understand and seeing the wrong one being used gives me brain spasms lol. (And I did refrain from actually correcting the unnamed forum fabber. But tbh yes I did judge them)

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *orny PT OP Man over a year ago

Peterborough

"Evening all! On the grammar thing...I had to stop myself correcting someone in the forum for using "your" instead of "you're". Im still being ocd adhd twitchy about having to leave it

Did you have a good English teacher when you were younger as this can make things better or worse in later life?

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *hatChattyGuyMan over a year ago

folkestone

I hated my teacher...but English was one if the few GCSE's I passed.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I'm not dyslexic but fucking hell do I forget to punctuate pretty much everything also spelling stupid letter words ....

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *orny PT OP Man over a year ago

Peterborough

"I'm not dyslexic but fucking hell do I forget to punctuate pretty much everything also spelling stupid letter words ...."

Auto carrot and txt spk has a lot 2 anser 4!

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I'm not dyslexic but fucking hell do I forget to punctuate pretty much everything also spelling stupid letter words ....

Auto carrot and txt spk has a lot 2 anser 4!"

I see what you did there .....

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

How are you getting on with meds?

I couldn't take them at all -- I either had crushing insomnia, suicidal comedowns, or total fixation on all the wrong stuff.

That's probably the aspie comorbidity though as we don't tend to get on with meds all that well.

And yes, ADHD has led to all kinds of impulsive sexual acting out -- I don't think I'd be here otherwise.

This is also where I don't think I match the stereotypical autistic awkwardness thing.

I have social issues, sure, and I do fail to read the room -- but I'm blunt, and bluntness can be appreciated when the cues are there.

Couple that with ADHD as the dominant personality trait, and I've never had a massive problem meeting women -- at least not since I hit my thirties. In some ways my 'differentness' seems to have added to my attraction (or so I've been told).

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *ewisbi76Man over a year ago

west edinburgh

Wondered where the ND chat had gone.... swinging chat seems to move much faster than swingers advice did so the thread sinks to the 2nd/3rd page much faster.

I agree with the requests for a separate board just for NDs. theres definitely a mix of "patter" and "serious" chat on here that might work better for people as a few different threads split by subject.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *ralNymphMan over a year ago

gillingham

Definitely affects sex life, it affects all other areas.

It definitely affects relationships.

An adhd crash not heard of it so that must be when I’m just super unmotivated and just cba for the world but I usually experience that after some sort of major failure like when I try to make something happen and it didn’t materialise I’m like eurghhhhh

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I'm growing to realise that I'm quite likely autistic. Just lately I've been having one of my silent phases where I just don't like speaking. Is that an ND thing? "

It definitely can be sign. I am on the autism spectrum and when I'm not hanging out with others, 99% of the time, I'm silent and pottering about or doing whatever.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *ralNymphMan over a year ago

gillingham

How are you getting on with meds?

I couldn't take them at all -- I either had crushing insomnia, suicidal comedowns, or total fixation on all the wrong stuff.

That's probably the aspie comorbidity though as we don't tend to get on with meds all that well.

And yes, ADHD has led to all kinds of impulsive sexual acting out -- I don't think I'd be here otherwise.

This is also where I don't think I match the stereotypical autistic awkwardness thing.

I have social issues, sure, and I do fail to read the room -- but I'm blunt, and bluntness can be appreciated when the cues are there.

Tbh it has actually been sooooo great I’ve had next to no symptoms the worst is the occasional dry mouth if I don’t take it for a few days and that’s only been cause I lost them and I may not feel to eat but if I choose to I can…. I think elvanse is the strongest one but I deffo seen a change im less energetic but still am energetic but it’s deffo capped my energy. my focus goes way up I seem to hyper focus I take it in the morning so by about 5-7 it wears off so your not as focused etc and I find myself thinking in my head more or I notice I’m talking less which I then think I’m being socially awkward cause I’m not talking as much or impulsive thoughts and comments are not as impulsive no more my mood regulation is way better and I think it’s cause I’m not thinking about so many various things each thought has emotions with it so I feel like where I’m more thinking in the now I’m sort of regulated and I don’t get as angry as I would get of my meds it’s been coming up to 2 months so far I’m thinking to go for cbt adhd therapy next to work on my triggers and adrenaline rush cause that’s my worst moments as for be organised I’m working on that part loool

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Checking in to follow.

Apologies if I’m more absent than usual, came back from work on Saturday to find that someone broke into my flat and I’m stlll pretty shaken

Oh no that's awful! Hope you're ok

I’m just very shaken to be fair, Its the first time something like this has happened to me and it’s a very foul feeling knowing that someone has been in my personal space. They didn’t take anything but still…

I’ve spent the last couple of days installing a security system and new locks everywhere

Slowly getting there

Thanks everyone.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *otsossieMan over a year ago

Chesterfield

That’s horrible.

I’ve got to do something new at work which is poorly documented. Alternating between stressing and avoiding.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *izzyRascalWoman over a year ago

North Hants

Just made a new post in Swingers chat with the title "Neurodivergent vent". It's really aimed towards our community for input, but think it could easily go unnoticed so thought I'd mention here too

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *izzyRascalWoman over a year ago

North Hants

" I’m just very shaken to be fair, Its the first time something like this has happened to me and it’s a very foul feeling knowing that someone has been in my personal space. They didn’t take anything but still…"

Absolutely understandable to be shaken! Anyone would be. But for us it's bigger and the overwhelm from a bad situation can cause a total shut down. Well done for getting some security solutions in place. Be kind to yourself and allow yourself to feel the emotions. Try to talk to people about it too, don't bottle it up. Honestly I swear by Samaritans if you really need to talk but don't know who will listen.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Morning all

Hope all our ND friends are well. I had a PIP tribunal hearing in court yesterday, which has depleted all my spoons in a big way. If anyone ever has to go through the same I cannot recommend getting an advocate enough. I didn't have one and wasn't prepared for how stressful and traumatic it would be. The panel were lovely, but they are constrained by the law and there were certain things I wasn't aware of in advance that completely threw me. For example, the fact I had a burnout and breakdown after trying to work more hours to make up the financial shortfall in response to losing my PIP back in March cannot be taken into account at all. All the medical evidence from my gp and MH team that covered that period had to be disregarded. If I'd had an advocate who was aware of the law I'd have been emotionally prepared and wouldn't have had to leave the courtroom to have the big sobbing meltdown in the corridor.

Ah well, it's done now. A letter with the outcome will be sent out today and I'll hopefully receive it by the end of the week, postal strikes allowing.

Nell

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *eliWoman over a year ago

"Morning all

Ah well, it's done now. A letter with the outcome will be sent out today and I'll hopefully receive it by the end of the week, postal strikes allowing.

Nell"

Ach Nell. I have everything crossed for you, I hope those spoons are restored soon.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *eliWoman over a year ago

I dip in and out of this thread, apologies for not being a more regular poster!

So, I'm realising more and more that I have an erm... tendency to see things in black and white. If someone says to me "Hey Meli, the sky is pink" and then I find out it's actually red and orange, I really struggle to not equate that with lying and then doubt and lose a bit of trust. It's something I'm working on but it just kind of sends my brain into a bit of an meltdown if that makes sense? I do tell myself life is nuanced but I guess the ND in me is very much rubbish at reading things sometimes.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Morning all

Ah well, it's done now. A letter with the outcome will be sent out today and I'll hopefully receive it by the end of the week, postal strikes allowing.

Nell"

Wishing all the best Nell x

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Hope all you nd-er's are doing well today. Lot's of love to you all. x

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *penbicoupleCouple over a year ago

Northampton

"I can't see them having the tech to move things to be honest.

I would be very easy for them to move a forum thread from one section to another.

I always see it as such a basic forum build. Didn't think they'd be bothered lol. But maybe I'm wrong!"

I'm presuming it's still database built. But, yeah, calling it basic is an understatement!

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Checking in, to see how you’re all doing! You alright? X

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Checking in, to see how you’re all doing! You alright? X"

Well the job I thought I was gonna get is now taking the piss .

So was looking at new job posts today and just the anxiety that was coming with it .... thinking soo much about my mental health for new jobs

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *ewisbi76Man over a year ago

west edinburgh

"I'm presuming it's still database built. But, yeah, calling it basic is an understatement!

i like basic forums, i find some of the new flashy ones so difficult to navigate with so many nested posts, pop ups, banners etc

All this one is really missing is a notification when someone quotes or replies to you (unless im missing it)

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *ohn KanakaMan over a year ago

Not all that North of North London

"Checking in, to see how you’re all doing! You alright? X"

I dont want to tempt fate but I'm doing really well. Had a great weekend and this week has been relatively stress free too

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Checking in, to see how you’re all doing! You alright? X

Well the job I thought I was gonna get is now taking the piss .

So was looking at new job posts today and just the anxiety that was coming with it .... thinking soo much about my mental health for new jobs "

I wonder if you have tried the job shop. I think they do confidence building and training before even helping to look for employment and applications x

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Checking in, to see how you’re all doing! You alright? X

I dont want to tempt fate but I'm doing really well. Had a great weekend and this week has been relatively stress free too"

Take the wins! X

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *ohn KanakaMan over a year ago

Not all that North of North London

"Checking in, to see how you’re all doing! You alright? X

I dont want to tempt fate but I'm doing really well. Had a great weekend and this week has been relatively stress free too

Take the wins! X"

I am, I've had quite a few over the last few months but just hoping I can keep the momentum going over Christmas which is always a bit shit!

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Checking in, to see how you’re all doing! You alright? X

Well the job I thought I was gonna get is now taking the piss .

So was looking at new job posts today and just the anxiety that was coming with it .... thinking soo much about my mental health for new jobs

I wonder if you have tried the job shop. I think they do confidence building and training before even helping to look for employment and applications x"

It's not soo much that just been out of work couple of months and been chilled at home, and I have had a few jobs before last 1 that were just fuxking with my mental health and put me allmost into shutdown mode or that I was like just perpetually exhausted

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *penbicoupleCouple over a year ago

Northampton

"i like basic forums, i find some of the new flashy ones so difficult to navigate with so many nested posts, pop ups, banners etc"

I don't think I could spend more than 2 minutes on a forum with pop-ups and banners!

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Checking in, to see how you’re all doing! You alright? X

I dont want to tempt fate but I'm doing really well. Had a great weekend and this week has been relatively stress free too

Take the wins! X

I am, I've had quite a few over the last few months but just hoping I can keep the momentum going over Christmas which is always a bit shit! "

Maybe get some of your home comforts in, for the days that aren’t brilliant. Anything to make things easier for yourself x

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Checking in, to see how you’re all doing! You alright? X

Well the job I thought I was gonna get is now taking the piss .

So was looking at new job posts today and just the anxiety that was coming with it .... thinking soo much about my mental health for new jobs

I wonder if you have tried the job shop. I think they do confidence building and training before even helping to look for employment and applications x

Are you ready to go back to work, or do you need more time? Sorry I’m trying not to sound like a parent haha x

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Checking in, to see how you’re all doing! You alright? X

Well the job I thought I was gonna get is now taking the piss .

So was looking at new job posts today and just the anxiety that was coming with it .... thinking soo much about my mental health for new jobs

I wonder if you have tried the job shop. I think they do confidence building and training before even helping to look for employment and applications x

Are you ready to go back to work, or do you need more time? Sorry I’m trying not to sound like a parent haha x"

Honestly I don't even know really it's more I'm forced Into work due to bills

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Morning all

I found an ADHD forum and a few people on there were saying a company called 360ADHD do the assessment through the right to choose, without requiring information from a family member ect. I know someone mentioned it would be hard for them to have an assessment, as no family around to do it for them but I can't remember who it was or whether it was for an ADHD or Autism assessment.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Morning all

Ah well, it's done now. A letter with the outcome will be sent out today and I'll hopefully receive it by the end of the week, postal strikes allowing.

Nell"

Oh Nell! I know you were worried about it and I can see why, what a vile system! Sounds like some self care is a high priority, take care lovely.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *reeneggsandsamMan over a year ago

Perpignan and cap

My ex and mother of my daughter has Asperger's syndrome.

My brother had schizophrenia.

Has that got any relevance to what's being discussed here?

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I dip in and out of this thread, apologies for not being a more regular poster!

I think I get what you mean. My woky brain doesn't remember what it needs to but my god it loves to spot lies! Always scanning conversations to pick up on something that doesn't match what was previously said.It's kinda tiring to be honest.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"My ex and mother of my daughter has Asperger's syndrome.

My brother had schizophrenia.

Has that got any relevance to what's being discussed here? "

If you identify as any of those things, yes it would be. This a safe space for wonky brainers to vent with people that actually struggle in similar or related ways.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *penbicoupleCouple over a year ago

Northampton

[Removed by poster at 09/12/22 17:10:40]

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *penbicoupleCouple over a year ago

Northampton

"Checking in, to see how you’re all doing! You alright? X"

Nooooo. Not by a long way.

Will be glad when we're well into January.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Hello, high functioning autistic here. Diagnosed 3 years ago.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Checking in, to see how you’re all doing! You alright? X

Nooooo. Not by a long way.

Will be glad when we're well into January."

I prefer early March onwards

Sorry you’re not feeling good x

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Hello, high functioning autistic here. Diagnosed 3 years ago."

Welcome! New and late to the party ADHDer here x

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Getting a lot of maybe first time imposter syndrome / (normal) anxiety ...

It's like I'm 31 and I just feel like I'm not succeeding in life , especially with this latest job debarcal and then the anxiety of looking at new jobs, yes I have a house but I really still want the whole relationships and kids thing.

But fortunately my mum has said to look for jobs I want not just any job but then I feel soo bad for draining their money,

I'm probably kicking my ass too much but I dunno ... allready been out of work too months

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Getting a lot of maybe first time imposter syndrome / (normal) anxiety ...

But fortunately my mum has said to look for jobs I want not just any job but then I feel soo bad for draining their money,

I'm probably kicking my ass too much but I dunno ... allready been out of work too months"

I can relate to the imposter syndrome the past couple of years. Try not to be so hard on yourself. Knowing what I know now I'd jump at the opportunity to find the work I want to do rather than being stuck where I am now. I can imagine it's difficult feeling like you're draining your parent's money but could you repay them later on when you find the right job?

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Getting a lot of maybe first time imposter syndrome / (normal) anxiety ...

But fortunately my mum has said to look for jobs I want not just any job but then I feel soo bad for draining their money,

I'm probably kicking my ass too much but I dunno ... allready been out of work too months

Maybe depends on if I can find something that actually pays decently and if I'm not fucked dry by the bills

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *orny PT OP Man over a year ago

Peterborough

This aint easy.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *arkandlovelyWoman over a year ago

South Derbyshire

"Getting a lot of maybe first time imposter syndrome / (normal) anxiety ...

But fortunately my mum has said to look for jobs I want not just any job but then I feel soo bad for draining their money,

I'm probably kicking my ass too much but I dunno ... allready been out of work too months

Maybe depends on if I can find something that actually pays decently and if I'm not fucked dry by the bills"

Is studying or retraining for a different career path a possibility - in a field you've always dreamed of, perhaps?

I'm your age and have spent the last five years studying part-time to move into a field I've always been interested in but just didn't believe in myself enough to pursue when I was younger. I think us wonkies are notoriously bad for telling ourselves we aren't good enough or don't deserve to do xyz. Self-rejection!

I knew five years was a long time but I also knew if I didn't do it, I'd have still been frustrated and unfulfilled and stuck where I was in five years time. If your parents are supportive you could do something full-time in just two or three years and you'd spend that time learning about something you love.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I agree with D&L, that's what I'm doing too. I started a course which will take me 4 years in total to complete part time. It will give me the option to work for myself as well, which I think will be the best thing for me.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *ewisbi76Man over a year ago

west edinburgh

"Getting a lot of maybe first time imposter syndrome / (normal) anxiety ..."

anxiety is normal. I'm not sure if its really imposter syndrome if youre ND , you will genuinely find some things more difficult than NTs do, even if its just fitting into other peoples social expectations, lasting through a full working day etc.

My employer gives every new manager an online course in "imposter syndrome" .... to.me thats like an NT saying "everyones on the spectrum" saying that "Everyone gets a little imposter syndrome". its one of those phrases that was a real condition but that NTs have devalued.

a lot of people seem to think their diagnosis was like a revelation and suddenly everything made sense. im the opposite, its made things harder for me because i cant just "fake it til i make it" any more because now i know what i struggle to do and why. before i always just thought i had to work a little harder and do a little better. Now i know there are some things i just cant do. And thats always hardest when im starting some thing new and meeting new people.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *orny PT OP Man over a year ago

Peterborough

We went to a pub today for Sunday lunch and for those of you who get anxious over Xmas and just need to get some quiet time: I can't recommend this pub enough as the food was really cheap and the portions are big.

Kids here get what the adults get!

A good food/drink guide for ND families is sorely needed.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

A good food/drink guide for ND families is sorely needed."

I like this idea, you going to give it a go?

I think a series of how to guides would be good, especially from different perspectives, not just from an Autism or ADHD point of view but including all of the branches of ND. So many families have mixed differences and different needs don't they.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *orny PT OP Man over a year ago

Peterborough

Not another book idea? LOL

But an app, for the techies out there to take on.

The pub in question was The Wharf in Bugbrooke Northants.

The fact that pubs are always packed for a Sunday roast can be overwhelming and places like this are a lifesaver, even the fruit machine was set to silent.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *orny PT OP Man over a year ago

Peterborough

Speaking of books...The great thinker Edward de Bono springs to mind.

Vertical and lateral thinking: is that the same as NT and ND?

He divides thinking into two methods: vertical thinking and lateral thinking. Vertical thinking involves the implementation and utilization of already existent ideas (“digging the same hole deeper”) whereas lateral thinking involves developing new ideas (“digging a hole somewhere else”). According to de Bono, two processes necessary to stimulate lateral thinking are ‘escape’ and ‘provocation.’ Escape consists of rejecting assumptions and pre-formed concepts by shifting perspectives and provocation consists primarily suspending judgement (Murray 1992). The formal ways to set up provocations include escape, reversal, exaggeration, distortion and wishful thinking.

De Bono contrasted vertical to lateral thinking in the following ways: vertical thinking focuses on continuity; lateral thinking focuses on discontinuity. Vertical thinking chooses, lateral thinking changes; Vertical thinking is concerned with stability, lateral thinking is concerned with instability; Vertical thinking searches for what is right, lateral thinking searches for what is different; Vertical thinking is analytical, lateral thinking is provocative; vertical thinking is concerned with where an idea came from, lateral thinking is concerned with where the idea is going; vertical thinking moves in the most likely directions, lateral thinking moves in the least likely directions; vertical thinking develops an idea, lateral thinking discovers the idea.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *ruityliciousWoman over a year ago

Newcastle

OMG. I don't care who did this.

I never come on forums.

It's gotta be fate.

Hey you guys (think chunk Goonies) hahaha.

Yeah I'm definitely different.

It's just all black and white. No middle ground. I live by my sword and I will die by it.

I do alright on here. Here you like me and see me or fuck off this is my game, I'm a player.

I'm the shitest 45 year old like ever. But I'm a proper good person. I just don't know how to do reality. It's fucking hard. I can function and do what I need to. But it's not an enjoyable experience IMO.

All I do is constantly offend and explain myself.

Shit I got confused I've turned it into a fucking therapy session. Hahaha.

Fruity x

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *ruityliciousWoman over a year ago

Newcastle

Seriously how do you get diagnosed.

I'm not wanting a label. But maybe it'd help others understand.

Everything I say, do is misunderstood. It all comes out wrong. I can be mid conversation and my brain just stops. I don't know how to explain it.

I've been Doc's I tell them my head is broken. They just want to medicate. And because I say that they think I'm fucking mental. I do have a brain injury. I had meningitis as a baby. I have this freaky empathy thing, I relate more than I should.

Self aware, I know all my faults and happily can point them out yet others think I'm putting myself down I'm not. I've more good points. But they get lost if people don't know me. I'm overly sensitive and aware of others. Yet I'm blunt af, therefore have to explain everything. It's fucking hard work tbh.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *penbicoupleCouple over a year ago

Northampton

"Speaking of books...The great thinker Edward de Bono springs to mind.

Vertical and lateral thinking: is that the same as NT and ND? "

No, I don't think it's the same thing at all. You can get vertical thinkers who are NT or ND and you can get lateral thinkers who are NT or ND.

Having said that, many autistic people do seem to lean towards lateral thinking (as well as all of the other non-thinking style issues, of course). I can't speak for other neurodivergencies.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *ohn KanakaMan over a year ago

Not all that North of North London

"Seriously how do you get diagnosed.

I'm not wanting a label. But maybe it'd help others understand.

Everything I say, do is misunderstood. It all comes out wrong. I can be mid conversation and my brain just stops. I don't know how to explain it.

Diagnosis on the NHS is a nightmare with huge waiting lists. Private is expensive but quick.

But self diagnosis is valid and recognised

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *ewisbi76Man over a year ago

west edinburgh

"Speaking of books...The great thinker Edward de Bono springs to mind.

Vertical and lateral thinking: is that the same as NT and ND? "

ND is a very broad term.

Speaking from the ASD perspective people often talk about "pattern" thinking. Working within a defined structure or pattern ASD people can work quickly and accurately. Very often jobs in programming and data are recommended for ASD people and data tables/structures/languages fit the "pattern thinking".

Jobs that are the opposite - random, changeable, varied - can be challenging for ASD people. especially if they involve a lot of "social" aspects or confrontation.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *ewisbi76Man over a year ago

west edinburgh

"Seriously how do you get diagnosed."

Start with a referral from your GP who will refer you to your local service. waiting lists are long, 1-4 years in some places.

Some conditions require medication, some do not. If theres a medication that can help you that would be a benefit of an assesment.

Your GP might be reluctant to refer you without an idea of why. some are better than others, but some need you to do the work for them. There are a lot of resources online, questionnaires etc, that can give you a head start in understanding what your condition(s) might be.

"I'm not wanting a label. But maybe it'd help others understand."

It can be a real revelation for you as well the more you learn about your behaviour or the challenges you might have had. i never really understood all the small parts of ASD even when i initially had a diagnosis.

I can look back and see a lot of things ive done in life have been things i'd no real control over. When in the past i thought i was just an idiot, actually people were treating me unfairly, or I was in a situation I should have had help with. Hopefully this helps me avoid the same things in the future

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *orny PT OP Man over a year ago

Peterborough

Labels are useful: stigma isn't.

If you have blurry vision you gan get diagnosed, with short sightedness, long sightedness, then with this label for your particular condition, you can then receive the correct treatment/prescription and enjoy life a bit more.

Well, that's the theory anyway.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *penbicoupleCouple over a year ago

Northampton

"Labels are useful: stigma isn't.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Oooo own space section has been responded to by a mod .... we have maybe movement

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *arkandlovelyWoman over a year ago

South Derbyshire

"Oooo own space section has been responded to by a mod .... we have maybe movement "

I thought it seemed like the idea had been shut down, but hopefully I'll be proven wrong.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Oooo own space section has been responded to by a mod .... we have maybe movement

I thought it seemed like the idea had been shut down, but hopefully I'll be proven wrong."

I think it has too.

My point about our thread being moved here is not about one area of the forum being better than another, it's about the general content in that space. If we look around at the other threads in swingers chat they tend to be more sexual in nature, therefore not exactly fitting for this type of chat. As far as I'm aware our threads were only ever in the advice section, not the club section. Until we were moved here.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Welcome! New and late to the party ADHDer here x

What a shame this lovely lady has gone!

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Welcome! New and late to the party ADHDer here x

What a shame this lovely lady has gone!

I hope there isn't something going on as someone that has autism / adhd , anxiety and depression it has been great to see this community grow and really care for each other ..

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *orny PT OP Man over a year ago

Peterborough

Here, here!

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *penbicoupleCouple over a year ago

Northampton

Welcome! New and late to the party ADHDer here x

What a shame this lovely lady has gone!

I hope there isn't something going on"

Agreed.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *edstockings2Couple over a year ago

Ilfracombe

I am Dyslexic , I have been tested by the dyslexic society over two day when they test a lot more than just your ability to read and write, so I do get a little bit P off when someone says they are Dyslexia just because they are bad at spelling.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *arkandlovelyWoman over a year ago

South Derbyshire

[Removed by poster at 16/12/22 00:05:20]

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *arkandlovelyWoman over a year ago

South Derbyshire

I'm not sure who UNLOS'd but...I know one of us has been zipped

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *ohn KanakaMan over a year ago

Not all that North of North London

"I'm not sure who UNLOS'd but...I know one of us has been zipped "

I think the unlos, is the chap who was on the early threads and went unlos and reappeared on this or the previous one but I can't remember his name! But I suspect he'll be back in a later series

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I'm not sure who UNLOS'd but...I know one of us has been zipped

I think the unlos, is the chap who was on the early threads and went unlos and reappeared on this or the previous one but I can't remember his name! But I suspect he'll be back in a later series "

Are you referring to me?

I left for a while, returned and I'm still here. But someone else has left in the meantime.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *ohn KanakaMan over a year ago

Not all that North of North London

"I'm not sure who UNLOS'd but...I know one of us has been zipped

I think the unlos, is the chap who was on the early threads and went unlos and reappeared on this or the previous one but I can't remember his name! But I suspect he'll be back in a later series

Are you referring to me?

I left for a while, returned and I'm still here. But someone else has left in the meantime."

Oh yes! Sorry! In thst case I'm really not sure who the unlos is!

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *arkandlovelyWoman over a year ago

South Derbyshire

"I'm not sure who UNLOS'd but...I know one of us has been zipped

I think the unlos, is the chap who was on the early threads and went unlos and reappeared on this or the previous one but I can't remember his name! But I suspect he'll be back in a later series

Are you referring to me?

I left for a while, returned and I'm still here. But someone else has left in the meantime."

Twasn't you. But glad you're back anyway.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

It was QueenofHearts, I'm not in contact with her but heard she's ok.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *orny PT OP Man over a year ago

Peterborough

"It was QueenofHearts, I'm not in contact with her but heard she's ok."

Yes Queenie, I was wondering that too.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *olly_chromaticTV/TS over a year ago

Stockport

Buggered if I know whether I'm neurodivergent in any of the standard ways, but it does often seem to me that the majority of folk don't have brains that work the same way as mine. An alternate view would be that my brain doesn't work the same as the majority, but that would make me the odd one out... (I prefer that I'm normal and it's just the 99.9% that are wonkers).

Still, with great power comes great responsibility...

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Just bumping us up

Been very tough few weeks lately

Was brought to tears the other day though as a friend who I chat with online had ordered me some presents for Christmas

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *arkandlovelyWoman over a year ago

South Derbyshire

"Just bumping us up

Been very tough few weeks lately

Was brought to tears the other day though as a friend who I chat with online had ordered me some presents for Christmas "

Ah, that's lovely re. Christmas presents.

Do you want to talk about the crappy stuff?

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Just bumping us up

Been very tough few weeks lately

Was brought to tears the other day though as a friend who I chat with online had ordered me some presents for Christmas

Ah, that's lovely re. Christmas presents.

Do you want to talk about the crappy stuff?"

So because been out of work for a couple of months basically been borrowing/getting money to pay bills basically meaning I haven't had anything to buy gifts , so that's all been covered,

But this has also ment that It has not felt festive as all.

Then just general mood has been all over part of it due to waiting to find out about job , aswell as having to apply for other stuff which has been putting a lot of anxiety and just dislike into things...

I also have a thing where my current dynamic she has fallen super hard for me and slowly I sort of am too but I'm unsure on it going further due to her being bit older ( I want my own child) and her allready having 3 kids, which make things complicated

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *ulu and MonkeyCouple over a year ago

Durham

Knock knock can we come in? Think we might belong, how can you tell?

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *orny PT OP Man over a year ago

Peterborough

"Knock knock can we come in? Think we might belong, how can you tell?"

Come on in. As for knowing, do you have a gut feeling that you fail basic tasks like memory or the ability to talk to large groups of people and have ever been described as awkward or worse still, not listening?

It's this collection of simple tasks that we still can't grasp as adults, that are worth looking at.

I still have bad handwriting, despite decades of practice.

Try an online test for all conditions, regarding dyspraxia, dyscalculia, dyslexia, ADHD, Aspergers etc.

It is possible to have lowish scores in all tests,,,

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *ewisbi76Man over a year ago

west edinburgh

"I still have bad handwriting, despite decades of practice.

Try an online test for all conditions, regarding dyspraxia, dyscalculia, dyslexia, ADHD, Aspergers etc."

Interestingly theres a "dys..." for handwriting as well - "dysgraphia". I've really struggled with this.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *orny PT OP Man over a year ago

Peterborough

"I still have bad handwriting, despite decades of practice.

Try an online test for all conditions, regarding dyspraxia, dyscalculia, dyslexia, ADHD, Aspergers etc.

Interestingly theres a "dys..." for handwriting as well - "dysgraphia". I've really struggled with this. "

me too, I forgot to add that dys, to the list.

We should have been doctors, as their handwriting never hampered their careers!

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *ohn KanakaMan over a year ago

Not all that North of North London

So a year ago I told people I was autistic, FB memories reminded me. I spike a lot about being scared and fearful of what the future held. That was kinda prophetic!

But it's weird, the journey to acceptance has been hell but acceptance itself is pretty fucking awesome

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"So a year ago I told people I was autistic, FB memories reminded me. I spike a lot about being scared and fearful of what the future held. That was kinda prophetic!

But it's weird, the journey to acceptance has been hell but acceptance itself is pretty fucking awesome"

glad you've managed to get there!

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *arkandlovelyWoman over a year ago

South Derbyshire

"So a year ago I told people I was autistic, FB memories reminded me. I spike a lot about being scared and fearful of what the future held. That was kinda prophetic!

But it's weird, the journey to acceptance has been hell but acceptance itself is pretty fucking awesome"

Oh wow! It is a total whirlwind. Happy wonky birthday.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *ohn KanakaMan over a year ago

Not all that North of North London

Thank you both. I'm just glad I'm here to tell the tale and understand myself. Oh and advocate hard!

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"So a year ago I told people I was autistic, FB memories reminded me."

I posted my Aspie diagnosis on FB just after I received it -- the reactions were pretty much as expected...

"No way on Earth are you autistic".

"Why do you need a label?"

"Well that explains a lot".

"I'm surprised you didn't realise earlier"

"I don't believe in any of that".

And so on..

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *ohn KanakaMan over a year ago

Not all that North of North London

"So a year ago I told people I was autistic, FB memories reminded me.

I posted my Aspie diagnosis on FB just after I received it -- the reactions were pretty much as expected...

"No way on Earth are you autistic".

"Why do you need a label?"

"Well that explains a lot".

"I'm surprised you didn't realise earlier"

"I don't believe in any of that".

And so on.."

I only had one negative comment which was to suggest I probably wasn't very autistic. In fairness it was meant to be supportive (abd missed the spot) rather than dismissive.

One of my running club told me that she genuinely assumed I knew but again that was said as a teacher trained to spot traits in the children she teaches and was more guilt that she'd recognised and made the assumption that I knew.

Obviously those positives were offset by an employer who told me not to think about it as that would help!

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *orny PT OP Man over a year ago

Peterborough

Do you think that not-that-autistic means highly functional or low scoring?

A lot of muggles won't have these phrases in the vocabulary.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *ewisbi76Man over a year ago

west edinburgh

".One of my running club told me that she genuinely assumed I knew but again that was said as a teacher trained to spot traits in the children she teaches and was more guilt that she'd recognised and made the assumption that I knew"

My in laws were both teachers. Sadly they arent all so understanding or up to date in their knowledge, these two were very much of the "everyones a little autistic" mindset

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

To all the neurodivergent folk on here a Merry Christmas and meny naughty days of fun for the coming year

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"To all the neurodivergent folk on here a Merry Christmas and meny naughty days of fun for the coming year"

Merry Christmas! It would be lovely if we could all have some fun and happiness in the new year

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *arkandlovelyWoman over a year ago

South Derbyshire

Merry Christmas wonkies!

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *ip2Man over a year ago

Near Maidenhead

Happy Christmas to my fellow aspies!

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *ewisbi76Man over a year ago

west edinburgh

i can normally cope with christmas up to a point. This year that point was my mother saying "everyones a bit quiet this year, why dont we all sit round the kitchen table and do a 1000 piece jigsaw together"

Now I'm drinking in the toilet..."hurry up in there or we'll find all the straight edges without you".

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *ohn KanakaMan over a year ago

Not all that North of North London

"i can normally cope with christmas up to a point. This year that point was my mother saying "everyones a bit quiet this year, why dont we all sit round the kitchen table and do a 1000 piece jigsaw together"

Now I'm drinking in the toilet..."hurry up in there or we'll find all the straight edges without you".

Hope the day improved mate, it cam be a shit day.

How was everyone else's Christmas?

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

How was everyone else's Christmas?"

I had a quiet one. Happy New Year to you all

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Personally, I'll be glad when everything is running properly again -- I hate shops being closed and services being unavailable. #grumpy

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Personally, I'll be glad when everything is running properly again -- I hate shops being closed and services being unavailable. #grumpy

#routine

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *opinovMan over a year ago

Point Nemo, Cumbria

Christmas was crap... and I do mean really gut-wrenchingly fucking awful.

NYE was disappointing but tolerable because it wasn't as ghastly as Christmas.

As an aspie in a world of NTs, I was unsurprised by either.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *orny PT OP Man over a year ago

Peterborough

I had a so so Xmas, but NYE was amazing, having a FFM in the club really boosted my confidence and co-ordination!

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *cottishVikingBearMan over a year ago

N. London

Had a vile Christmas and NY. Wasn't helpful that I had flu over Xmas, but just so much noise and general rubbish neighbours. Fireworks at NY are always awful for me.

Apologies for the misanthropy there. Just venting.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Don't want to add to the venting, but god being autistic is hard work sometimes.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *ohn KanakaMan over a year ago

Not all that North of North London

"Don't want to add to the venting, but god being autistic is hard work sometimes.

Vent away mate, we have all used this thread for that reason!

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I'm guessing that, due to the lack of further responses from admin, we aren't going to get our own space.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *penbicoupleCouple over a year ago

Northampton

"I'm guessing that, due to the lack of further responses from admin, we aren't going to get our own space.

I presumed that after the mod's response in the other thread, tbh. Seemed a little dismissive to me, but I could be wrong. Also, no idea why they felt the need to close the other thread.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *ewisbi76Man over a year ago

west edinburgh

"I'm guessing that, due to the lack of further responses from admin, we aren't going to get our own space.

Maybe we need some lateral thinking- perhaps theres an Autism/ND Forum out there that wants to start up a swingers section?

The only other place i've seen the 2 mix is the sexonthespectrum subreddit.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *tsalwaysthequietonesCouple over a year ago

Lancs

Currently waiting for a ADHD diagnosis, I think I need to have a good read up on these threads

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *penbicoupleCouple over a year ago

Northampton

So, who's starting part 11? It's quite an honour and daunting responsibility!

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Currently waiting for a ADHD diagnosis, I think I need to have a good read up on these threads

It might take a while

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)