FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Neurodivergent - wonky-brained sensory room p9

Neurodivergent - wonky-brained sensory room p9

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Welcome to the latest edition of the wonky-brained corner of Fab! Feel free to pull up a chair (quietly). And although this is fab, please feel free to leave your masks at the door.

This is a place for all neurodivergent people to chat, get to know one another and discuss how Autism, ADHD, dyslexisa, dyspraxia and other conditions effect our lives and swinging.

Friends, lovers and allies are welcome, but be aware that we fiercely protect our own here.

A big thanks to everyone who has dropped in and added to this well needed conversation.

Previous seasons are still available for replay at the links below:

P8 - https://fabswingers.com/forum/support/1385017#top

P7 - https://www.fabswingers.com/forum/support/1384337P6 - https://fabswingers.com/forum/support/1379859

P5 - https://fabswingers.com/forum/support/1378212

P4 - https://fabswingers.com/forum/support/1375399

P3 - https://fabswingers.com/forum/support/1374628

P2 - https://fabswingers.com/forum/support/1369444

P1 - https://fabswingers.com/forum/support/1346028

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By *arkandlovelyWoman over a year ago

South Derbyshire

Hello hello again. Season nine already! Haven't we grown

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By *ohn KanakaMan over a year ago

Not all that North of North London

Morning. I'm off running imminently. I'm hoping that after last weeks fiasco where I got wiped out by sensory overload midrace today will go better.

This has been am interesting week with my Autism, there'll likely be an epic post later about that!

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By *arkandlovelyWoman over a year ago

South Derbyshire

"Morning. I'm off running imminently. I'm hoping that after last weeks fiasco where I got wiped out by sensory overload midrace today will go better.

This has been am interesting week with my Autism, there'll likely be an epic post later about that!"

Remember to bite knobhead's face if he's there. You can blame me.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

This has been am interesting week with my Autism, there'll likely be an epic post later about that!"

Ooh I'll look out for this!

Good morning everyone

hope you all have a good day/week a head.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

OK here's how Ben ND can really fuck you over.

I have what feels like flu right now.

The shittiest, body aching, snot monster type.

But, I've also got a clanging headache.

I've had this since Friday.

Now I'm Autistic, ADHD and Dyslexic.

Actually make that, severely disabling combined sun type adhd.

Formerly medicated.

However, I've been of meds since April. Learning my own coping strategies.

(though as a tv meds are amazing for my figure, but that's another story)

This headache has kept my wired day and night since Friday.

My fuse has been super short. Patience out the window. And despite my wife and sons birth having the same virus, I've been really resentful of feeling like I'm doing everything.

After another night of little to no sleep I hit the bullet.

Took my last fast acting med an hour ago and. Boom.

The difference between a headache with my internal zoetrope (Google it) with a million slots, a million different images, whirling at a million miles an hour.

And just a headache is huge.

I'm buggered tomorrow but at least this morning I feel remotely human again.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

For those of you with ADHD or ADD, how does it manifest in swinging for you? I am trying to determine wherher certain of my behaviours are my ADD (e.g. abrupt blocking of anyone that annoys me, leaving conversations midway through, etc) are pathology related or if I am just a dick

(Vixen)

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Sounds like you're displaying elements of pre emotive rsd.

Hurt them before they hurt you.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Sounds like you're displaying elements of pre emptive rsd.

Hurt them before they hurt you. "

Preemptive

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"OK here's how Ben ND can really fuck you over.

I have what feels like flu right now.

The shittiest, body aching, snot monster type.

But, I've also got a clanging headache.

I've had this since Friday.

Now I'm Autistic, ADHD and Dyslexic.

Actually make that, severely disabling combined sun type adhd.

Formerly medicated.

However, I've been of meds since April. Learning my own coping strategies.

(though as a tv meds are amazing for my figure, but that's another story)

This headache has kept my wired day and night since Friday.

My fuse has been super short. Patience out the window. And despite my wife and sons birth having the same virus, I've been really resentful of feeling like I'm doing everything.

After another night of little to no sleep I hit the bullet.

Took my last fast acting med an hour ago and. Boom.

The difference between a headache with my internal zoetrope (Google it) with a million slots, a million different images, whirling at a million miles an hour.

And just a headache is huge.

I'm buggered tomorrow but at least this morning I feel remotely human again. "

Interesting! Thanks for sharing.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"For those of you with ADHD or ADD, how does it manifest in swinging for you? I am trying to determine wherher certain of my behaviours are my ADD (e.g. abrupt blocking of anyone that annoys me, leaving conversations midway through, etc) are pathology related or if I am just a dick

(Vixen)"

Sounds familiar

impulsiveness, boredom and irritability for me anyway. I have no patience that's why clubs suit me better to be honest.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

(Vixen)"

Mine first actually came as becoming overly attached very quickly and being too full on, generally misunderstanding social ques and how long Is appropriate to move message - socials - meets I'm very much a doing guy rather than overthinking every message or saying the wrong thing for weeks on end

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Checking in but not feeling very social today. I’ll catch up with messages tomorrow

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Checking in but not feeling very social today. I’ll catch up with messages tomorrow

Much love take as much time as u need x , we will still be here judging by our growing numbers and thread count

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I’m here, after my debut last season, hoping up become a fan favourite.

Last few days have been quite a few stress days over the last week.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Checking in but not feeling very social today. I’ll catch up with messages tomorrow

Ah take care lovely.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I’m here, after my debut last season, hoping up become a fan favourite.

Last few days have been quite a few stress days over the last week."

I hope things get easier for you now.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I’m here, after my debut last season, hoping up become a fan favourite.

Last few days have been quite a few stress days over the last week.

I hope things get easier for you now. "

Not so much today. I am actually struggling today but we’ll get there

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Did one of my big hobbies this weekend with 4 friends we did a 24h race, been a super tough race though and now quite drained so being a potato

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By *ohn KanakaMan over a year ago

Not all that North of North London

"Morning. I'm off running imminently. I'm hoping that after last weeks fiasco where I got wiped out by sensory overload midrace today will go better.

This has been am interesting week with my Autism, there'll likely be an epic post later about that!

Remember to bite knobhead's face if he's there. You can blame me."

This is the best advice ever

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By *ohn KanakaMan over a year ago

Not all that North of North London

This has been am interesting week with my Autism, there'll likely be an epic post later about that!

Ooh I'll look out for this!

Good morning everyone

hope you all have a good day/week a head. "

So it's been a funny old week. Obviously I've posted on these threads about my horrendous old employers (quick recap firbthe new players, autism treated as capabilities, autistic meltdown treated as a disciplinary, refused reasonable adjustments, refused permission to return to work as I was a risk...) but my new employers seem fantastic.

Si Monday I rang in sick, I was honest i told them I was burntout (it's been coming for a few weeks) amd was struggling with sensory overload from the slightest stimulation. I figured being honest was way better than claiming a headache or stomach bug (we've all been there right?) but was anxious to the response. And it was all so very fuckibg positive I'm a little overwhelmed (the good sort).

I'd texted my manager and told them I'd try and login later that day and got a reply telling me to take the whole day off. Went back Tuesday, explained the ridiculousness of a funfair causing sensory overload, how multiple other factors can exacerbate it though and thats why it was so bad that day. No criticism, no ableism, just genuine concern that she isn't doing enough individually (she is) and my employers aren't doing enough collectively (they are) and an offer to reduce work pressure if that was an issue (it isn't). And then a discussion that she really respects how I deal with my Autism and am so open about it and how colleagues have fed back that they appreciate it too.

Oh and I fucked up again taking things to literally on Wednesday and there was no criticism or frustration and now she's working on being more specific in instructions with new situations.

Why can't everyone be so accommodating? Seriously after the shitstorm of this year, I have to pinch myself this employer and their culture are for real

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

This has been am interesting week with my Autism, there'll likely be an epic post later about that!

Ooh I'll look out for this!

Good morning everyone

hope you all have a good day/week a head.

Oh and I fucked up again taking things to literally on Wednesday and there was no criticism or frustration and now she's working on being more specific in instructions with new situations.

Why can't everyone be so accommodating? Seriously after the shitstorm of this year, I have to pinch myself this employer and their culture are for real "

Oh thank goodness! I'm loving this for you

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

(Vixen)

Sounds familiar

impulsiveness, boredom and irritability for me anyway. I have no patience that's why clubs suit me better to be honest. "

I feel seen

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

If only I didn't have my issues and social problems to enjoy clubs and have that option to deal with having a club meet / fun there and then ...

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

(Vixen)

Sounds familiar

impulsiveness, boredom and irritability for me anyway. I have no patience that's why clubs suit me better to be honest.

I feel seen

Haha

love this!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

(Vixen)

Sounds familiar

impulsiveness, boredom and irritability for me anyway. I have no patience that's why clubs suit me better to be honest.

I feel seen

Haha

love this! "

Thanks all for the feedback - I don't think I deal with the rejection thing (thankfully) - the irritability and zero patience is likely it - I guess hitting the block button relieves overwhelm.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

(Vixen)

Sounds familiar

impulsiveness, boredom and irritability for me anyway. I have no patience that's why clubs suit me better to be honest.

I feel seen

Haha

love this!

Thanks all for the feedback - I don't think I deal with the rejection thing (thankfully) - the irritability and zero patience is likely it - I guess hitting the block button relieves overwhelm. "

Be kinder to yourself. The block button is needed, for everyone

too many idiots on fab!

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By *izzyRascalWoman over a year ago

North Hants

I am a HUGE fan of the block button. I block people all the time. Rarely remember why I blocked them later, but if I come across a blocked profile I trust that it was valid

I actually state in my profile text that I will block people if I know I'm definitely not interested. Saves coming up on each others searches again. I also block people who say things in the forum that make me uncomfortable, or who are rude to me, or who I've heard bad stories about, or who message incessantly, or .... basically I block for a lot of reasons that all in all mean I protect my energy and mental health.

Once had a guy message me from his second account demanding to know why I'd blocked him when we hadn't spoken. Blocked that one too

Blockity block block BLOCK

And zero guilt about it because none of us owe anyone on Fab our time and energy.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I am a HUGE fan of the block button. I block people all the time. Rarely remember why I blocked them later, but if I come across a blocked profile I trust that it was valid

Once had a guy message me from his second account demanding to know why I'd blocked him when we hadn't spoken. Blocked that one too

Blockity block block BLOCK

And zero guilt about it because none of us owe anyone on Fab our time and energy."

I bet mine’s bigger than yours…. My block list x

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By *penbicoupleCouple over a year ago

Northampton

I posted a link to a great deal on some noise-cancelling headphones, with a description.

I also posted it as a separate "Neurodivergent:..." thread.

It got removed and I got a time-out. Aside from the decision taken, it shows that at least mods and/or admin see that there have been some ND posts. It's a start, or not.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I posted a link to a great deal on some noise-cancelling headphones, with a description.

I also posted it as a separate "Neurodivergent:..." thread.

It got removed and I got a time-out. Aside from the decision taken, it shows that at least mods and/or admin see that there have been some ND posts. It's a start, or not."

You naughty thing!

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By *ewisbi76Man over a year ago

west edinburgh

"I posted a link to a great deal on some noise-cancelling headphones, with a description.

I also posted it as a separate "Neurodivergent:..." thread.

It got removed and I got a time-out. Aside from the decision taken, it shows that at least mods and/or admin see that there have been some ND posts. It's a start, or not."

That seems to happen to any web address that gets posted, even in a private message. i believe thats automatic as opposed to a mods action.

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By *penbicoupleCouple over a year ago

Northampton

"I posted a link to a great deal on some noise-cancelling headphones, with a description.

I also posted it as a separate "Neurodivergent:..." thread.

It got removed and I got a time-out. Aside from the decision taken, it shows that at least mods and/or admin see that there have been some ND posts. It's a start, or not.

That seems to happen to any web address that gets posted, even in a private message. i believe thats automatic as opposed to a mods action. "

Time-outs aren't automatic.

Links can apparently be made to YouTube, bbc news, etc. But to avoid the risk of malware, some links aren't allowed, including apparently to the biggest online retailer on the planet. (Why the link could not have been asterisked, or even a screen telling you it's not allowed, I don't know. It was very clear my post was intended for the benefit of the ND community here, not to be naughty.)

Anyway, as I said, time-outs and the removal of two threads aren't automatic. So a mod or admin have seen a post like this, if not even this very post, and... well, we'll see.

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By *penbicoupleCouple over a year ago

Northampton

"That seems to happen to any web address that gets posted, even in a private message. i believe thats automatic as opposed to a mods action. "

A number of links are allowed. But time-outs are a decision taken by mods and reiterated by admins.

When things are automatic, you are more likely to encounter a screen effectively saying, "you can't say that."

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By *penbicoupleCouple over a year ago

Northampton

"You naughty thing!

I wasn't trying to be naughty. I was trying to be helpful.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I wanted to post up links to sites that could benefit people discovering their autistic traits...

I'll just suggest googling the following instead:

"Aspietests" (online autism screening tools -- some used by the NHS)

Autism Hangout (youtube channel and website featuring Dr Tony Attwood; potentially the most admired autism specialist out there at the moment.

"The Complete Guide to Asperger's Syndrome" Also by Tony Attwood -- if you are autistic, you'll think this book was written personally for you.

There are a few UK based Aspie groups on FB too -- and in this case it still may be beneficial to use "aspergers" as a search term. (it is still valid as a diagnostic term, and will be until the NHS update the SNOMED database)

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By *ophieslutTV/TS over a year ago

Central

Hello again

Today I'm noticing how I struggle with very long posts in the forum. I have ASD with ADHA in, for good measure. Today I'm

Anyone else get issues?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Hello again

Today I'm noticing how I struggle with very long posts in the forum. I have ASD with ADHA in, for good measure. Today I'm

Anyone else get issues? "

Hey Sophie

Do you mean you struggle to read them?

Yeh - I glaze over and skip chunks

I have an ADHD assessment on Wednesday….

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"You naughty thing!

I wasn't trying to be naughty. I was trying to be helpful. "

Aw I know, lovely. Just pulling your leg.

Did you see Nadia on loose women, share her ADHD diagnosis, last week?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Hello again

Today I'm noticing how I struggle with very long posts in the forum. I have ASD with ADHA in, for good measure. Today I'm

Anyone else get issues? "

Hi lovely, I find it hard to follow when long posts are repeatedly quoted.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"You naughty thing!

I wasn't trying to be naughty. I was trying to be helpful.

Aw I know, lovely. Just pulling your leg.

Did you see Nadia on loose women, share her ADHD diagnosis, last week? "

My Mom mentioned this to me. I should have known as they are always moaning at how messy she is

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"You naughty thing!

I wasn't trying to be naughty. I was trying to be helpful.

Aw I know, lovely. Just pulling your leg.

Did you see Nadia on loose women, share her ADHD diagnosis, last week?

My Mom mentioned this to me. I should have known as they are always moaning at how messy she is

I’ve watched it a few times and cried every time. Bless her! Worth a watch x

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"You naughty thing!

I wasn't trying to be naughty. I was trying to be helpful.

Aw I know, lovely. Just pulling your leg.

Did you see Nadia on loose women, share her ADHD diagnosis, last week?

My Mom mentioned this to me. I should have known as they are always moaning at how messy she is

I’ve watched it a few times and cried every time. Bless her! Worth a watch x"

I might watch it now cus I doubt I'll sleep, it's been one of those days.

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By *orny PTMan over a year ago

Peterborough

I never knew that needing sunglasses all year round, when outside, was a brain thing and not an optical thing.

I can never switch my hearing off at night, so that might be a clue too.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"You naughty thing!

I wasn't trying to be naughty. I was trying to be helpful.

Aw I know, lovely. Just pulling your leg.

Did you see Nadia on loose women, share her ADHD diagnosis, last week?

My Mom mentioned this to me. I should have known as they are always moaning at how messy she is

I’ve watched it a few times and cried every time. Bless her! Worth a watch x

I might watch it now cus I doubt I'll sleep, it's been one of those days. "

There’s a clip on YT rather than trying to find it on catch up x

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I never knew that needing sunglasses all year round, when outside, was a brain thing and not an optical thing.

I can never switch my hearing off at night, so that might be a clue too."

Have you got Loop ear plugs? Everyone’s raving about them

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By *orny PTMan over a year ago

Peterborough

"I never knew that needing sunglasses all year round, when outside, was a brain thing and not an optical thing.

I can never switch my hearing off at night, so that might be a clue too.

Have you got Loop ear plugs? Everyone’s raving about them "

No, I use earplanes, the ones that look like Xmas trees, they are comfy and really kill the noise. These are my go to.

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By *izzyRascalWoman over a year ago

North Hants

"Hello again

Today I'm noticing how I struggle with very long posts in the forum. I have ASD with ADHA in, for good measure. Today I'm

Anyone else get issues?

Hi lovely, I find it hard to follow when long posts are repeatedly quoted. "

SAME! Big blocks of text make me zone out. I try to chop quotes down for that exact reason. But it can be so fiddly.

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By *izzyRascalWoman over a year ago

North Hants

"I can never switch my hearing off at night, so that might be a clue too.

Have you got Loop ear plugs? Everyone’s raving about them "

I love my Loops but they are uncomfortable to sleep with

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By *orny PTMan over a year ago

Peterborough

Earplanes are pricey but can be used in bed.

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By *penbicoupleCouple over a year ago

Northampton

"I can never switch my hearing off at night, so that might be a clue too.

Have you got Loop ear plugs? Everyone’s raving about them

I love my Loops but they are uncomfortable to sleep with"

I was SO underwhelmed by Loops. Plus, really didn't like the feel of them in my ear.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Did you see Nadia on loose women, share her ADHD diagnosis, last week?

My Mom mentioned this to me. I should have known as they are always moaning at how messy she is

I’ve watched it a few times and cried every time. Bless her! Worth a watch x

I might watch it now cus I doubt I'll sleep, it's been one of those days.

There’s a clip on YT rather than trying to find it on catch up x"

That's what I did

it's definitely worth a watch. Especially for ladies who are querying if they may be wonky. I was nodding along to most of what she said, especially the compulsions part.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Did you see Nadia on loose women, share her ADHD diagnosis, last week?

My Mom mentioned this to me. I should have known as they are always moaning at how messy she is

I’ve watched it a few times and cried every time. Bless her! Worth a watch x

I might watch it now cus I doubt I'll sleep, it's been one of those days.

There’s a clip on YT rather than trying to find it on catch up x

That's what I did

it's definitely worth a watch. Especially for ladies who are querying if they may be wonky. I was nodding along to most of what she said, especially the compulsions part. "

I was, too. I think that’s why I got so emotional watching it! My assessment is tomorrow afternoon. It could explain the last 20 years of struggles. Hope you’re ok and glad you watched it x

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Did you see Nadia on loose women, share her ADHD diagnosis, last week?

My Mom mentioned this to me. I should have known as they are always moaning at how messy she is

I’ve watched it a few times and cried every time. Bless her! Worth a watch x

I might watch it now cus I doubt I'll sleep, it's been one of those days.

There’s a clip on YT rather than trying to find it on catch up x

That's what I did

it's definitely worth a watch. Especially for ladies who are querying if they may be wonky. I was nodding along to most of what she said, especially the compulsions part.

I was, too. I think that’s why I got so emotional watching it! My assessment is tomorrow afternoon. It could explain the last 20 years of struggles. Hope you’re ok and glad you watched it x"

Best of luck lovely, hope all goes well with your assessment. I'm ok thank you

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I can never switch my hearing off at night, so that might be a clue too.

Have you got Loop ear plugs? Everyone’s raving about them

I love my Loops but they are uncomfortable to sleep with"

Flare Audio do various ear inserts. I'm using the Calm ones at the moment and they're great for filtering out the really irritating noises that make me feel stabby. Mostly other people's eating noises and the yappy dog next door

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By *izzyRascalWoman over a year ago

North Hants

"My assessment is tomorrow afternoon. It could explain the last 20 years of struggles."

I'm so excited for you

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By *ohn KanakaMan over a year ago

Not all that North of North London

"My assessment is tomorrow afternoon. It could explain the last 20 years of struggles.

I'm so excited for you

I'd echo that sentiment!

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By *orny PTMan over a year ago

Peterborough

"My assessment is tomorrow afternoon. It could explain the last 20 years of struggles.

I'm so excited for you

I'd echo that sentiment!"

Here here!

It is rather echoy in here too.

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By *orny PTMan over a year ago

Peterborough

On a different note, seeing how this thread is called Sensory room for adults.

How about a Montessori creche for adults, that's not patronising. Only the top of the range/highest

Each room would have different classy toys, that stimulate and distract the brain at a higher level.

Room one lego technic, architecture and mini Lego

Room two railways, building the sets

Room three wooden train sets, as the tracks can be built faster

Room 4 other wooden toys, as wood is really tactile and can handle frustrated adults.

Other rooms that feature sand, water and even electronic instruments that are too expensive to buy at home.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"My assessment is tomorrow afternoon. It could explain the last 20 years of struggles.

I'm so excited for you

I'd echo that sentiment!

Here here!

It is rather echoy in here too."

Thank you.

What if I’m not?! Can I still be your ND friends

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By *orny PTMan over a year ago

Peterborough

"My assessment is tomorrow afternoon. It could explain the last 20 years of struggles.

I'm so excited for you

I'd echo that sentiment!

Here here!

It is rather echoy in here too.

Thank you.

What if I’m not?! Can I still be your ND friends

Yeah, why not?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"My assessment is tomorrow afternoon. It could explain the last 20 years of struggles.

I'm so excited for you

I'd echo that sentiment!

Here here!

It is rather echoy in here too.

Thank you.

What if I’m not?! Can I still be your ND friends

Yeah, why not?"

good!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"My assessment is tomorrow afternoon. It could explain the last 20 years of struggles.

I'm so excited for you

I'd echo that sentiment!

Here here!

It is rather echoy in here too.

Thank you.

What if I’m not?! Can I still be your ND friends

I don't think anyone would come to the conclusion that they are ND without good reason. Even if the test says different, it could be down to the assessors assessment skills.

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By *izzyRascalWoman over a year ago

North Hants

"What if I’m not?! Can I still be your ND friends

Yes of course!

" I don't think anyone would come to the conclusion that they are ND without good reason. Even if the test says different, it could be down to the assessors assessment skills. "

My thoughts EXACTLY! When it makes sense, it makes sense. I totally walked out of my assessment wondering how I tricked him though lol.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"What if I’m not?! Can I still be your ND friends

Yes of course!

I don't think anyone would come to the conclusion that they are ND without good reason. Even if the test says different, it could be down to the assessors assessment skills.

My thoughts EXACTLY! When it makes sense, it makes sense. I totally walked out of my assessment wondering how I tricked him though lol."

I’m full of dread and also can’t wait for it to happen! I guess that says it all really, doesn’t it?! Lol x

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By *penbicoupleCouple over a year ago

Northampton

"I’m full of dread and also can’t wait for it to happen! I guess that says it all really, doesn’t it?! Lol x"

What's your goal? What is it that you're actually dreading?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I’m full of dread and also can’t wait for it to happen! I guess that says it all really, doesn’t it?! Lol x

What's your goal? What is it that you're actually dreading? "

A few goals. Probably too much to say on a public forum.

Dreading that if it’s not ADHD, then wtaf is it?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Morning. I'm off running imminently. I'm hoping that after last weeks fiasco where I got wiped out by sensory overload midrace today will go better.

This has been am interesting week with my Autism, there'll likely be an epic post later about that!

Remember to bite knobhead's face if he's there. You can blame me."

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By *izzyRascalWoman over a year ago

North Hants

" Dreading that if it’s not ADHD, then wtaf is it?"

Know this fear! Feels like ...

"If it's not ADHD then I really must just be broken"

Totally understandable way to feel. But no matter the outcome, you can still use what you've learned so far to help support yourself and be kinder to yourself.

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By *izzyRascalWoman over a year ago

North Hants

Anybody else waiting anxiously to hear from Queenie? Think she'll be in her assessment a bit longer though

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By *orny PTMan over a year ago

Peterborough

Today's symptoms might be part of a newer, yet to be named condition tomorrow.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Anybody else waiting anxiously to hear from Queenie? Think she'll be in her assessment a bit longer though"

ADHD AF

Crying my eyes out, sad, relieved and finally…. A reason.

Thanks, for thinking of me xxxx

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By *izzyRascalWoman over a year ago

North Hants

"ADHD AF

Crying my eyes out, sad, relieved and finally…. A reason.

Thanks, for thinking of me xxxx"

An official welcome to the family my love. Let yourself feel ALL the emotions!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"ADHD AF

Crying my eyes out, sad, relieved and finally…. A reason.

Thanks, for thinking of me xxxx

An official welcome to the family my love. Let yourself feel ALL the emotions!

Xxxxxxxx

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By *ohn KanakaMan over a year ago

Not all that North of North London

"Anybody else waiting anxiously to hear from Queenie? Think she'll be in her assessment a bit longer though

ADHD AF

Crying my eyes out, sad, relieved and finally…. A reason.

Thanks, for thinking of me xxxx"

Diagnosis is a headfuck, whatever you are feeling is valid, but most of all be kind to yourself

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By *orny PTMan over a year ago

Peterborough

Hugs for Queenie: sent!

I can't say get well soon, as it doesn't work that way. It's more like being told that you need to wear glasses, as lifelong condition that needs the right tools to help you cope with, hopefully thing like employers and your NHS trust should help you, now that it is official.

But I can say good luck instead.

but wait for it to sink in. Then and only then can you decide how you are going to

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Anybody else waiting anxiously to hear from Queenie? Think she'll be in her assessment a bit longer though

ADHD AF

Crying my eyes out, sad, relieved and finally…. A reason.

Thanks, for thinking of me xxxx"

Ahh glad you got the answers you needed

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Anybody else waiting anxiously to hear from Queenie? Think she'll be in her assessment a bit longer though

ADHD AF

Crying my eyes out, sad, relieved and finally…. A reason.

Thanks, for thinking of me xxxx"

I'm so happy you finally have the answer to your struggles. I always want to say "congratulations!" to someone newly diagnosed as I know the elation of being validated after so many years of hardship, but I'm also aware there's a lot of grief that comes with it. Much love to you xx

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By *orny PTMan over a year ago

Peterborough

"Hugs for Queenie: sent!

But I can say good luck instead.

but wait for it to sink in. Then and only then can you decide how you are going to "

going to deal with it and feel free to ask all in here for any help and advice

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Thanks everyone.

All I can say to anyone who has struggled with mental health for years, and done ALL the self-care, only to feel like something is still not right….

Trust your gut and Google The Right to choose x

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By *arkandlovelyWoman over a year ago

South Derbyshire

"Anybody else waiting anxiously to hear from Queenie? Think she'll be in her assessment a bit longer though

ADHD AF

Crying my eyes out, sad, relieved and finally…. A reason.

Thanks, for thinking of me xxxx"

Well done, sorry, congratulations, shit luck, good luck and all the other things.

It's a real clusterfuck, being diagnosed, both the elation of finding out that none of it was your fault and also the crushing grief of what you've lost. Be kind to yourself (easier said than done, I know).

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By *orny PTMan over a year ago

Peterborough

How do you get a diagnosis, when you get fobbed off at the GP stage?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"How do you get a diagnosis, when you get fobbed off at the GP stage?"

Go back with a list of all your traits. Examples of behaviour pre-12 years old and also after.

Statement from family who have known you since before 12.

Photocopies of school reports.

Statement from work colleagues.

And don’t take no for an answer xx good luck xx

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Photocopies of school reports.

I'm shocked people keep them! Mine went in the bin years ago

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By *orny PTMan over a year ago

Peterborough

I am 52 so how do I get my school reports? This means going back to 1981, so I doubt if those records still physically exist.

Work colleagues, my place of work/employer is not consistent so that's nigh on impossible.

As for my family, that's not much of an option. Wrong side of the country and I don't have their comtact details. Asking my folks is not an option either.

I did ask for help and got fobbed of with no face to face meeting just a cursory chat on the phone with a practice nurse, who gave me a list of charities and agencies.

This surgery is useless, all I have now is a MH assesment with IAPT, fobbed off? VERY!

Asking for help and not getting it causes a melt down. so unless I lie on my assessment, this loop will never get broken.

There has to be a better way.

Moving house is too expensive.

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By *orny PTMan over a year ago

Peterborough

Photocopies of school reports.

I'm shocked people keep them! Mine went in the bin years ago

tell me about it. I don't even have official records of my addresses, nearly 30 of them.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Photocopies of school reports.

I'm shocked people keep them! Mine went in the bin years ago

tell me about it. I don't even have official records of my addresses, nearly 30 of them."

It’s not the be all and end all. I found mine in a drawer, last minute, so ADHD

Don’t be put off, advocate for yourself. Your medical history says a lot about you, now that ADHD is being more understood.

Self diagnosis is valid and you can give examples of risky behaviour, impulsiveness, inattentiveness …. Following all the professional insta accounts helps massively, to make you really think x

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By *orny PTMan over a year ago

Peterborough

Photocopies of school reports.

I'm shocked people keep them! Mine went in the bin years ago

tell me about it. I don't even have official records of my addresses, nearly 30 of them.

It’s not the be all and end all. I found mine in a drawer, last minute, so ADHD

Don’t be put off, advocate for yourself. Your medical history says a lot about you, now that ADHD is being more understood.

Self diagnosis is valid and you can give examples of risky behaviour, impulsiveness, inattentiveness …. Following all the professional insta accounts helps massively, to make you really think x"

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By *orny PTMan over a year ago

Peterborough

[Removed by poster at 30/11/22 20:43:09]

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By *orny PTMan over a year ago

Peterborough

I don't do Instagram or FB, never mind the frontal lobotomy that is Tik Tok.

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By *ohn KanakaMan over a year ago

Not all that North of North London

"Following all the professional insta accounts helps massively, to make you really think x"

I've got 2 different friends who have diagnosed thanks to TikTok.

I've found Instagram an absolute godsend, the amount of things I'm discovering that are linked to autism, only today I was reading on light sensitivity and driving and why I hate driving in the dark!

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By *orny PTMan over a year ago

Peterborough

Glad your friends got some questions answered and you too.

This is what my symptoms are

Bright lights: sunglasses all year

Migraines: faulty fluorescent tubes and bright hazy do it to me

Ultra sensitive hearing. Wooden floors in flats should be illegal.

Poor number skills, dyscalculia springs to mind

Poor handwriting: joined up writing did not help me.

Hatred of screaming babies: really goes through me.

Wool: can't touch it, sets my teeth of and all that (fibreglass is ok though)

Collars: I hate the top button being fastened, hate neckties too. Bow ties are different

Short term emory is crap: long term is much better.

Inability to get organised/time management skills.

does this sound familiar to anyone?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Following all the professional insta accounts helps massively, to make you really think x

I've got 2 different friends who have diagnosed thanks to TikTok.

I've found Instagram an absolute godsend, the amount of things I'm discovering that are linked to autism, only today I was reading on light sensitivity and driving and why I hate driving in the dark!"

Stick with the pros though. I don’t do tik tok. It’s full of misinformation.

The ADHD Adults podcast and ADHD As Females podcast have been amazing, for me!

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By *orny PTMan over a year ago

Peterborough

"Following all the professional insta accounts helps massively, to make you really think x

I've got 2 different friends who have diagnosed thanks to TikTok.

I've found Instagram an absolute godsend, the amount of things I'm discovering that are linked to autism, only today I was reading on light sensitivity and driving and why I hate driving in the dark!

Stick with the pros though. I don’t do tik tok. It’s full of misinformation.

The ADHD Adults podcast and ADHD As Females podcast have been amazing, for me!"

can you publish or pm those links?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

The ADHD Adults podcast and ADHD As Females podcast have been amazing, for me!"

This! Although I have to be in the mood for the ADHD AF podcast because one of the ladies irritates me with her laugh at times

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Following all the professional insta accounts helps massively, to make you really think x

I've got 2 different friends who have diagnosed thanks to TikTok.

I've found Instagram an absolute godsend, the amount of things I'm discovering that are linked to autism, only today I was reading on light sensitivity and driving and why I hate driving in the dark!

Stick with the pros though. I don’t do tik tok. It’s full of misinformation.

The ADHD Adults podcast and ADHD As Females podcast have been amazing, for me!

can you publish or pm those links?"

I thought we got banned from the forum for linking things

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

The ADHD Adults podcast and ADHD As Females podcast have been amazing, for me!

This! Although I have to be in the mood for the ADHD AF podcast because one of the ladies irritates me with her laugh at times

This morning I listened to the latest one…. Really relatable. So nice to hear others have been through similar experiences x

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By *orny PTMan over a year ago

Peterborough

"Following all the professional insta accounts helps massively, to make you really think x

I've got 2 different friends who have diagnosed thanks to TikTok.

I've found Instagram an absolute godsend, the amount of things I'm discovering that are linked to autism, only today I was reading on light sensitivity and driving and why I hate driving in the dark!

Stick with the pros though. I don’t do tik tok. It’s full of misinformation.

The ADHD Adults podcast and ADHD As Females podcast have been amazing, for me!

can you publish or pm those links?

I thought we got banned from the forum for linking things "

Youtube is fine

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By *orny PTMan over a year ago

Peterborough

Failing that tell us what name and title to look for and who it was done by.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Failing that tell us what name and title to look for and who it was done by."

Copy and paste each of those podcasts into your search - that’s what they’re called

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By *orny PTMan over a year ago

Peterborough

James Brown and Alex Conner

Are these the podcasters?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Yeh that’s the ones

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By *izzyRascalWoman over a year ago

North Hants

Sorry to change the subject, but I'm sooooo full of cold, feeling rubbish and not slept properly for two nights which probably explains why Ive got the giggles because the picture on my Difflam box reminds me of ET when I'm not focusing on it properly. Not sure if it's a case of ND randomness or mild delirium, but thought I'd share on lol.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Sorry to change the subject, but I'm sooooo full of cold, feeling rubbish and not slept properly for two nights which probably explains why Ive got the giggles because the picture on my Difflam box reminds me of ET when I'm not focusing on it properly. Not sure if it's a case of ND randomness or mild delirium, but thought I'd share on lol."

Love the randomness. Keep it comin! X

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By *orny PTMan over a year ago

Peterborough

Love the randomness. Keep it comin! X"

When did "ET, phone home" become "ET pharmacy"?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I am 52 so how do I get my school reports? This means going back to 1981, so I doubt if those records still physically exist.

Work colleagues, my place of work/employer is not consistent so that's nigh on impossible.

As for my family, that's not much of an option. Wrong side of the country and I don't have their comtact details. Asking my folks is not an option either.

I did ask for help and got fobbed of with no face to face meeting just a cursory chat on the phone with a practice nurse, who gave me a list of charities and agencies.

This surgery is useless, all I have now is a MH assesment with IAPT, fobbed off? VERY!

Asking for help and not getting it causes a melt down. so unless I lie on my assessment, this loop will never get broken.

There has to be a better way.

Moving house is too expensive.

I got a private diagnosis for ASD. Although my GP referred me to NHS (3 years and counting), I needed to know sooner so found a specialist in diagnoses in adult women. It was expensive and I know many people are not in a position to do that

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I am 52 so how do I get my school reports? This means going back to 1981, so I doubt if those records still physically exist.

Work colleagues, my place of work/employer is not consistent so that's nigh on impossible.

As for my family, that's not much of an option. Wrong side of the country and I don't have their comtact details. Asking my folks is not an option either.

I did ask for help and got fobbed of with no face to face meeting just a cursory chat on the phone with a practice nurse, who gave me a list of charities and agencies.

This surgery is useless, all I have now is a MH assesment with IAPT, fobbed off? VERY!

Asking for help and not getting it causes a melt down. so unless I lie on my assessment, this loop will never get broken.

There has to be a better way.

Moving house is too expensive.

I’m so glad you got your diagnosis.

I can’t stress the right to choose, enough.

NHS 3-4 years

RTC 6-8 months

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"The ADHD Adults podcast"
I listened to a couple of episodes of that earlier this year, and in all honesty I ended up getting irritated by it.

Can't remember exactly why it was now, but something to do with one of the presenters constantly berating the other one.

That might, however, be because of my asperger's failing to get certain types of humour.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Glad your friends got some questions answered and you too.

This is what my symptoms are

Bright lights: sunglasses all year

Migraines: faulty fluorescent tubes and bright hazy do it to me

Ultra sensitive hearing. Wooden floors in flats should be illegal.

Poor number skills, dyscalculia springs to mind

Poor handwriting: joined up writing did not help me.

Hatred of screaming babies: really goes through me.

Wool: can't touch it, sets my teeth of and all that (fibreglass is ok though)

Collars: I hate the top button being fastened, hate neckties too. Bow ties are different

Short term emory is crap: long term is much better.

Inability to get organised/time management skills.

does this sound familiar to anyone?

Some of that, yes -- as a kid I would have meltdowns over the seams in socks being too painful.

I hold my pen weird, my handwriting is scruffy.

My working memory is awful.

Screeching babies is a total hate -- I mean, I honestly don't get why parents put themselves through that.

Noisy air conditioning units, fluorescent lights, and so on -- although I hate darkness and lack of light in a home and will have my main light on full all the time.

Noise sensitivity can get worse depending on how stressful a situation is -- but Sony XM4s are a godsend.

---------

There's a crossover of symptoms between ASD and ADHD, but ADHD does not come with the same social issues -- and the motivations behind the behaviour may be slightly different.

However, you can (like me) have both -- and with comorbidity the social issues will be less obvious as ADHD typically forms a more dominant personality type.

I'm not sure what diagnosis you're after, but ADHD is easier to acquire once you get to be seen.

For autism they wanted way too much history -- I filled in forms, they questioned me on my life-history, they interviewed my sister (oldest living relative), I had several hours of interviews, observational tests and so on.

The waiting list for the NHS can take years, but it depends where you live -- in my part of East London it's about a year to 18 months, but in some places it can be much longer, and in many places you have to fight to get referred in the first place.

If you can afford to go private, you need to make sure the service is working within the NHS NICE guidelines, otherwise it may not be accepted by your GP.

-------------

If you manage to get on a waiting list, make notes. Get a word document and start headings under stuff like stimming, special interests, social difficulties, masking, collections, communication issues and so on -- and try to remember examples from your early childhood, your adolescence and your adulthood.

Having notes will make a big difference to getting a diagnosis -- I took 11 pages into mine!

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By *ake_holeMan over a year ago

London

Blimey these threads are moving fast

Hi everyone

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By *ewisbi76Man over a year ago

west edinburgh

"I am 52 so how do I get my school reports? This means going back to 1981, so I doubt if those records still physically exist...."

its frightening how hard it is to get a diagnosis. Even today GPs refuse referrals because "being married" or "having a job" means you can't be ASD as far as they are concerned.

To get your diagnosis you have to show you've had ASD your whole life. Thats why they want this information. They dont want to just take your word for it that you have challenges. they want some "evidence" to "prove" it

They see school reports as the best form of evidence because they were written by a unbiased "professional".

The next best form of evidence is from another person, your parents, colleagues etc.

If you can't do these two things then you can write down a list, or history, of your challenges and offer that.

You can get a diagnosis with just a personal history you've written yourself, but from what i've read on ASD forums not every professional will do this, you need to be lucky.

A lot of "high functioning" people get through family life, school and work with real personal struggles but without being "difficult" enough to other people to build up this evidence the professionals want. its not fair but unfortunately its the way it is.

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By *penbicoupleCouple over a year ago

Northampton

"You can get a diagnosis with just a personal history you've written yourself, but from what i've read on ASD forums not every professional will do this, you need to be lucky."

Such professionals are in the wrong job.

Over half of the autistic adults I know had troubling childhoods. Most would not want their parents to have any involvement in the diagnostic process. Many of them know their parents would have been against them getting a diagnosis anyway.

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By *penbicoupleCouple over a year ago

Northampton

"I am 52 so how do I get my school reports? This means going back to 1981, so I doubt if those records still physically exist.

I wouldn't worry about the school reports. I hated school and my parents hated ne. So neither of us would have been inclined to keep them for more than 24 hours!

Their absence is not an issue.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I've got such a bee in my bonnet this morning! I'm going to have a moan to my MP, sick of the injustice and hardship we have to suffer throughout life.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Blimey these threads are moving fast

Hi everyone

Morning

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By *izzyRascalWoman over a year ago

North Hants

"I've got such a bee in my bonnet this morning! I'm going to have a moan to my MP, sick of the injustice and hardship we have to suffer throughout life. "

The amount of bias and misconceptions out there is what gets me the most frustrated. The way people will belittle our lived experience. The way DOCTORS will belittle our lived experience. This expectation that someone has to look or act a certain way to be taken seriously

Aaarrrrgggggghhhhh grumble groan

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By *ohn KanakaMan over a year ago

Not all that North of North London

"I've got such a bee in my bonnet this morning! I'm going to have a moan to my MP, sick of the injustice and hardship we have to suffer throughout life. "

This sucks! Hope you are okay?

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By *om and JennieCouple over a year ago

Chams or Socials

Does anyone on here have any experience of Pathological Demand Avoidance?

J x

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By *ake_holeMan over a year ago

London

For me with masking it's the trade off between "do I want my condition to be taken seriously" or "do I want to be treated like an actual human being"

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I've got such a bee in my bonnet this morning! I'm going to have a moan to my MP, sick of the injustice and hardship we have to suffer throughout life.

Aaarrrrgggggghhhhh grumble groan

Yep and that's only scratching the surface

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I've got such a bee in my bonnet this morning! I'm going to have a moan to my MP, sick of the injustice and hardship we have to suffer throughout life.

This sucks! Hope you are okay?"

Thanks lovely, think I'm on the way to shut down again, just glad I'm off work today Everything is a bit too much atm.

I'm still writing my email!

I'm letting him know all the struggles I've had through life and how there's literally no support for us out there! Sick of it.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Does anyone on here have any experience of Pathological Demand Avoidance?

J x "

Could you explain this to me? Whenever I've read things on this it just seems like AuADHD. Applogies for my ignorance.

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By *ewisbi76Man over a year ago

west edinburgh

"Does anyone on here have any experience of Pathological Demand Avoidance?

J x "

Yes. Theres a perception that its like behaving like a brat and refusing to do reasonable "normal" things, particularly in children.

For me as an adult its much more about feeling that people have put me in an unfair position where they're forcing me to do something i dont want to do and it makes me angry, stressed and anxious. It's usually an employer or someone in authority, and to them the request is completely normal.

I've lost a job before because I was given someone elses work to do and I didnt do it because i thought it was unfair. I didnt make a grand decision to refuse to do it i just could not do it.

I'm afraid of heights. When i think im being forced to do something unfair the feeling of PDA for me is very similar to the feeling of being on a high ledge. Basically you freeze or clam up and feel anxiety and fear - "I need to get away from this now but theres nowhere to go".

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I've got such a bee in my bonnet this morning! I'm going to have a moan to my MP, sick of the injustice and hardship we have to suffer throughout life.

Aaarrrrgggggghhhhh grumble groan

The Guardian article didn’t help! I want to scream about that!

Afternoon by the way!

How’s Sid the Sloth, today?!

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By *arkandlovelyWoman over a year ago

South Derbyshire

"Does anyone on here have any experience of Pathological Demand Avoidance?

J x "

In hindsight I think I had something like PDA/ODD going on as a child/teen. I still have those tendencies but more mildly, it's probably just perceived as (excessive) stubbornness. When I was younger it would manifest as ODD-type explosive refusal and defiance, whereas now it's much more PDA-esque covert refusal or avoidance. I think as understanding develops they may well become seen as differing presentations of a single condition.

Was there something specific you were wanting to explore re. PDA?

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By *otsossieMan over a year ago

Chesterfield

"electronic instruments that are too expensive to buy at home.

I can recommend picking up a used Groovebox. Something like a Novation Circuit. You will be amazed.

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By *penbicoupleCouple over a year ago

Northampton

"Does anyone on here have any experience of Pathological Demand Avoidance? "

Not personally. But professionally, I've worked with a few PDAers.

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By *izzyRascalWoman over a year ago

North Hants

Tested super positive for Covid today

Like I barely had a chance to set a timer. 30 seconds and BAM clear second line

Feel like trash. Hope everyone else is doing better.

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By *orny PTMan over a year ago

Peterborough

Get well soon Mrs.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Tested super positive for Covid today

Like I barely had a chance to set a timer. 30 seconds and BAM clear second line

Feel like trash. Hope everyone else is doing better."

Aww, hope you feel better soon, lovely x

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Tested super positive for Covid today

Like I barely had a chance to set a timer. 30 seconds and BAM clear second line

Feel like trash. Hope everyone else is doing better.

Aww, hope you feel better soon, lovely x"

I prescribe a Squishmallow, a bubble bath with candles, shaved legs, clean pjs and bedding. And flip your pillow to the cold side, every ten mins. Have your fave drink, in bed. Sweet dreams lovely x

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By *orny PTMan over a year ago

Peterborough

Tested super positive for Covid today

Like I barely had a chance to set a timer. 30 seconds and BAM clear second line

Feel like trash. Hope everyone else is doing better.

Aww, hope you feel better soon, lovely x

I prescribe a Squishmallow, a bubble bath with candles, shaved legs, clean pjs and bedding. And flip your pillow to the cold side, every ten mins. Have your fave drink, in bed. Sweet dreams lovely x "

and a weighted blanket for all night snuggles!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Just been recommended to watch itv Georgia & Tommy: Baby steps S3 Ep 1 - if anyone is interested to learn more about ADHD…. Just starting it so not sure if it’s any good x

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Sorry for lack of being around....

Soo mental health has been bit funky over this last week.. (think partly down to meet with sub being delayed most of the week.. pray for friday) but I also keep trying to change my sleep pattern from like 2am to 8/9 and its just putting me in the perpetual state of tiredness

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Also just finished watching Wednesday

People are saying its autism personified ... which I get but I actually just enjoyed the show quite a lot first one in a long time I've pretty much binged and at 8 episodes (8h) it's pretty do-able

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Also just finished watching Wednesday

People are saying its autism personified ... which I get but I actually just enjoyed the show quite a lot first one in a long time I've pretty much binged and at 8 episodes (8h) it's pretty do-able"

Maybe I’ll give it a go. If I see certificate 12, I think it’ll be crap! Not exciting enough

Also hope you get some sleep! Bless ya!

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By *penbicoupleCouple over a year ago

Northampton

"People are saying its autism personified ..."

I don't see that in the slightest, unless we're talking about autism stereotypes.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Does anyone on here have any experience of Pathological Demand Avoidance? "

It's not an actual diagnosis, but more of a presentation -- and I think it could apply to me.

For example, I've done a few courses in my life, and always found it a nightmare to write essays -- or follow any arbitrary rules that aren't connected to the course.

So, I can attend lessons, do the practical stuff, take part in groups, seminars etc. (usually learning obsessively as I go), but when it comes to completing any actual work, I just can't do it.

Like, I can write for England (especially if I'm complaining about something) and my grammar and spelling are fine -- but for some reason, as soon as it becomes a requirement I go to pieces and it doesn't happen.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Also just finished watching Wednesday

People are saying its autism personified ... which I get but I actually just enjoyed the show quite a lot first one in a long time I've pretty much binged and at 8 episodes (8h) it's pretty do-able"

"People" know nothing. I've watched it and she's like the female version of my NT child! My autistic child is more like Enid, all enthusiasm, curiosity and openly emotional.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I'm yet to see any accurate representation of autism in fiction.

Although I would say Sonya / Saga from The Bridge is probably the closest (name depends on version, but I liked the US version).

Attorney Woo is kinda cute and I can relate to some of her thinking styles, but not many autistics are complete savants.

Rain Man was probably guilty for a generation of failed assessments for being so obviously disabled.

Then there are a shitload of characters, non-disclosed but with traits that seem aspie -- like Sheldon Cooper, Dwight Schrute (The Office US) and so on; none of them completely accurate.

As for Wednesday; absolutely not and total crap IMO.

Even in 'true life' media, there seems a trend for finding people with more obvious peculiarities -- I've met plenty of autistic people over the years, and am yet to meet anyone like the characters featured in 'Love on The Spectrum'.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I'm yet to see any accurate representation of autism in fiction.

Although I would say Sonya / Saga from The Bridge is probably the closest (name depends on version, but I liked the US version).

Attorney Woo is kinda cute and I can relate to some of her thinking styles, but not many autistics are complete savants.

Rain Man was probably guilty for a generation of failed assessments for being so obviously disabled.

Then there are a shitload of characters, non-disclosed but with traits that seem aspie -- like Sheldon Cooper, Dwight Schrute (The Office US) and so on; none of them completely accurate.

As for Wednesday; absolutely not and total crap IMO.

Try Lucy from the Loud House cartoon.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Also for anyone remotely interested in reading about marriage and kids with ASC I would love you to read my book. I wrote and published it before I knew ND might be at the heart of our problems. This only came to light after a recent diagnosis and I’m still trying to piece it all together if I’m honest. Feel free to PM me if you’re interested as I’m a bit self conscious mentioning it out loud x

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By *ohn KanakaMan over a year ago

Not all that North of North London

"I'm yet to see any accurate representation of autism in fiction.

Although I would say Sonya / Saga from The Bridge is probably the closest (name depends on version, but I liked the US version).

Attorney Woo is kinda cute and I can relate to some of her thinking styles, but not many autistics are complete savants.

Rain Man was probably guilty for a generation of failed assessments for being so obviously disabled.

Then there are a shitload of characters, non-disclosed but with traits that seem aspie -- like Sheldon Cooper, Dwight Schrute (The Office US) and so on; none of them completely accurate.

As for Wednesday; absolutely not and total crap IMO.

Orlando in Derry Girls and the way her friends just accept her, I think that her portrayal and acceptance is beautiful to see.

Also I really don't like how Sheldon Cooper is portrayed as selfish to the point of nastiness but sometimes they absolutely nail his portrayal of Autism.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"How do you get a diagnosis, when you get fobbed off at the GP stage?"

This is a familiar story.

I had a disagreement with my GP about this, finally I reminded her that diagnosing conditions such as ADHD was not within her scope of practice as a GP.

She soon changed her tune and made a referral for assessment.

Feel free to Dm me

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Sounds like ADHD task avoidance to me.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Does anyone on here have any experience of Pathological Demand Avoidance?

J x

Could you explain this to me? Whenever I've read things on this it just seems like AuADHD. Applogies for my ignorance. "

Tbh I was thinking the same.

But happy to be educated.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Blimey these threads are moving fast

Hi everyone

Tell me about it.

I have aDHD and dyslexia, I can’t keep up ??

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By *rJandMrsJCouple over a year ago

Hyde

We have our own corner? Woohooo. Happy Mr J here.

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By *penbicoupleCouple over a year ago

Northampton

"Does anyone on here have any experience of Pathological Demand Avoidance?

J x

Could you explain this to me? Whenever I've read things on this it just seems like AuADHD. Applogies for my ignorance."

PDA is a part of the autism spectrum. One site described is thusly:

'Demand avoidance can be seen in any child with an ASD but when the avoidance reaches pathological levels, major difficulties arise.'

It might help to think of it as an autistic version of ODD. However, in many people with PDA, there is no conscious defiance. It is often more anxiety-driven than that.

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By *penbicoupleCouple over a year ago

Northampton

"Blimey these threads are moving fast"

It's almost like we need our own section in the forums.

ADMIN, CAN YOU HEAR US?!

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By *ewisbi76Man over a year ago

west edinburgh

"I'm yet to see any accurate representation of autism in fiction.

Then there are a shitload of characters, non-disclosed but with traits that seem aspie -- like Sheldon Cooper, Dwight Schrute (The Office US) and so on; none of them completely accurate."

The sheldon character in the spin off series "young sheldon" is much more stereotypically autistic than the adult version from BBT. He's the same age as my son as well, its really been interesting watching it with him.

I'm aware the people who write the show have said that he isn't supposed to be ASD but they must be using ASD as some kind of basis for a lot of the behaviours. The show is more like the Wonder Years than BBT and the younger sheldon has a lot of social challenges.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"How do you get a diagnosis, when you get fobbed off at the GP stage?"

You can contact PALS and you can open an official complaint against the NHS. They have to respond, and they cannot refuse to treat you because you're complaining against them.

There is also the Autism Act, which is supposed to enable easier access to assessment -- but in practice, a lot of GPs are unaware of its existence.

Most of the diagnostic screening tools are available online (Google) -- it may be worth downloading, completing and printing them off, just to show then that you're serious.

Also, you can look at the ICD-10 and ICD-11 criteria for autism, and show exactly how each of the traits apply to you. (the NHS is still largely using ICD-10 as they haven't updated the SNOMED database as yet).

DSM-5 may also be useful, but that's largely used For American and private assessments -- hence people in Europe still using 'Aspergers' as a diagnostic term.

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By *orny PTMan over a year ago

Peterborough

Going back to #TV types Is Hugh Lawrie's character Gregory House MD, ND or is he something else?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Morning all...

If you had the ability influence work to help support ND people in the workplace what would you suggest?

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By *arkandlovelyWoman over a year ago

South Derbyshire

"Morning all...

If you had the ability influence work to help support ND people in the workplace what would you suggest? "

Flexible hours so there's no stigma to being "late" if your hours are made up later on

Hybrid working

Choice of work environment (e.g. not being forced to sit in the middle of a noisy open plan office, being able to move somewhere quieter when needed)

No cultural pressure to do all that godawful teambuilding and days out

Allowing delegation of some routine tasks or streamlining processes to minimise mundane or repetitive work

Acknowledgement that some workers are most productive when working alone and that "team work" isn't some godly panacea of employee worth

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By *om and JennieCouple over a year ago

Chams or Socials

"Does anyone on here have any experience of Pathological Demand Avoidance?

J x

Could you explain this to me? Whenever I've read things on this it just seems like AuADHD. Applogies for my ignorance. "

It’s all new to me & regarding one of our children. We’re waiting for an autism assessment but PDA has been mentioned a few times. I’ve bought a book recommend but the PDA Society but have yet to read as it just upsets me

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By *ewisbi76Man over a year ago

west edinburgh

"Morning all...

If you had the ability influence work to help support ND people in the workplace what would you suggest? "

Employers should accept people as they are. But every office/managment employer i've had has had some kind of problem with my personality they've been able to criticise as a "development need". i've had lots of friendly advice given by bosses....

- I want you make sure and speak once in every meeting from now on. No matter how stupid you think it is, its better people think you're stupid than think you dont exist.

- If you cant give an update "off the top of your head" in a meeting them take 30 minutes of your own time to write one down before work, then read it aloud from your piece of paper when its update time.

- Even if the rules say you shouldnt be able to acheive sonething, you should have the "soft skills" to negotiate with people and get it done

- Anything about eye contact.

- Working for people who can't say what they want, but just know something needs to be "better". "Take this presentation away and bring it back looking more professional". i dont know what you're asking me to do.

The perception from senior people is that the accomodations i want to do my job are about making it so simple anyone could do it.....but then why would i have given you the job then?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Morning all...

If you had the ability influence work to help support ND people in the workplace what would you suggest?

Flexible hours so there's no stigma to being "late" if your hours are made up later on

Hybrid working

Choice of work environment (e.g. not being forced to sit in the middle of a noisy open plan office, being able to move somewhere quieter when needed)

No cultural pressure to do all that godawful teambuilding and days out

Allowing delegation of some routine tasks or streamlining processes to minimise mundane or repetitive work

Acknowledgement that some workers are most productive when working alone and that "team work" isn't some godly panacea of employee worth"

Thank you that's the type of things I had in mind. Is the Christmas party included in that!? Ours is in 2 weeks and happily said no ta

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Morning all...

If you had the ability influence work to help support ND people in the workplace what would you suggest?

- I want you make sure and speak once in every meeting from now on. No matter how stupid you think it is, its better people think you're stupid than think you dont exist.

- Even if the rules say you shouldnt be able to acheive sonething, you should have the "soft skills" to negotiate with people and get it done

- Anything about eye contact.

The perception from senior people is that the accomodations i want to do my job are about making it so simple anyone could do it.....but then why would i have given you the job then? "

So exhausting trying to put simple things in place sometimes.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Does anyone on here have any experience of Pathological Demand Avoidance?

J x

Could you explain this to me? Whenever I've read things on this it just seems like AuADHD. Applogies for my ignorance.

Have you looked at ADHD too? PDA Sounds like overlapping of autism and ADHD to me. Especially as ADHD is an interest based neuro type, the procrastination and motivation can be crippling for some people, if they aren't interested in the task it can feel painful trying to do something they don't want to do.

Looking back my son was predominantly displaying autistic traits in his younger years and early teens, it's only now that he's hit his older teenage years the ADHD has come to the surface. Maybe it's because I am more aware what to look for now that I see it.

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By *arkandlovelyWoman over a year ago

South Derbyshire

"Does anyone on here have any experience of Pathological Demand Avoidance?

J x

Could you explain this to me? Whenever I've read things on this it just seems like AuADHD. Applogies for my ignorance.

That's interesting re. your son. I've only ever heard of the reverse, i.e. ADHD being the "dominant" type with ASD becoming more apparent with age. It just shows how diverse we are as a grouo, despite all the commonalities we share! And is a good illustrator of why professionals rigidly insisting on us meeting all diagnostic criteria is rubbish when presentation can vary so widely.

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By *izzyRascalWoman over a year ago

North Hants

"Morning all...

If you had the ability influence work to help support ND people in the workplace what would you suggest? "

Biggest one would be getting the business to be more flexible around working hours and trusting people. Forcing the standard 9-5 means you don't get the best from everyone. So many jobs could be done at any time.

I have an agreement with my manager that I will aim to start by 10am. Also, on days where I'm particularly distracted, he's happy for me to go away to do something else and come back a bit later. He knows I've got a really great work ethic and will ALWAYS get things done, so there's no point in forcing me to work when I'll just get agitated/overwhelmed and shut down for the rest of the day. It's so refreshing to be trusted and respected

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Yeah same here, particularly when their ADHD is medicated the autism can become more noticeable.

Apart from my son being disorganised and issues with being late there wasn't really anything particularly noticeable, until he left school and it was like oh hold on a minute! I think he has inattentive ADHD but as he's quite chilled out, quiet and keeps himself to himself it could have just gone under the radar. He did both pre assessments for autism and adhd and scores enough for referral.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Morning all...

If you had the ability influence work to help support ND people in the workplace what would you suggest?

I love this for you. So do you think if it's not possible to have that kind of flexibility it would be better to change career or direction?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Morning all...

If you had the ability influence work to help support ND people in the workplace what would you suggest?

Flexible hours so there's no stigma to being "late" if your hours are made up later on

Hybrid working

Choice of work environment (e.g. not being forced to sit in the middle of a noisy open plan office, being able to move somewhere quieter when needed)

No cultural pressure to do all that godawful teambuilding and days out

Allowing delegation of some routine tasks or streamlining processes to minimise mundane or repetitive work

Acknowledgement that some workers are most productive when working alone and that "team work" isn't some godly panacea of employee worth"

Maybe set up a ND zoom meeting once a month, for staff to chat about how it impacts work and to feedback any suggestions.

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By *uteness69Woman over a year ago

Walthamstow

Interesting post!

I'm neurodivergent.

It's good to see people talking!

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By *penbicoupleCouple over a year ago

Northampton

"Interesting post!

I'm neurodivergent.

It's good to see people talking! "

Welcome to the gang!

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By *ohn KanakaMan over a year ago

Not all that North of North London

"Morning all...

If you had the ability influence work to help support ND people in the workplace what would you suggest?

I love this for you. So do you think if it's not possible to have that kind of flexibility it would be better to change career or direction? "

Obviously I've posted of my work woes on previous threads, but if an employer won't help you get out and find one who will.

The difference between an employer who at best saw me as a problem and inconvenience and an employer who wants to help is immeasurable

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By *hatChattyGuyMan over a year ago

folkestone

Ooh! A place I might fit in!!!

Hi! Neurodivergant adhd weirdo here

Evening all

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Morning all...

If you had the ability influence work to help support ND people in the workplace what would you suggest?

I love this for you. So do you think if it's not possible to have that kind of flexibility it would be better to change career or direction?

Obviously I've posted of my work woes on previous threads, but if an employer won't help you get out and find one who will.

The difference between an employer who at best saw me as a problem and inconvenience and an employer who wants to help is immeasurable "

Oh yeah I can imagine!

How about jobs such as teaching where it wouldn't be possible to allow that much flexibility? Rather than the employer being awkward.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Ooh! A place I might fit in!!!

Hi! Neurodivergant adhd weirdo here

Evening all

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Herm am I seeing things or have we been moved to swingers chat? Not sure I like that

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By *orny PTMan over a year ago

Peterborough

[Removed by poster at 03/12/22 23:11:31]

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By *orny PTMan over a year ago

Peterborough

This post has swayed a lot throughout its many posts, nearly 1000 if you start at number one.

I was challenged by Fizzy Rascal to do a book on swinging with ND, so I wrote two questionnaires as the starting point: have you seen it?

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By *penbicoupleCouple over a year ago

Northampton

"This post has swayed a lot throughout its many posts, nearly 1000 if you start at number one.

I was challenged by Fizzy Rascal to do a book on swinging with ND, so I wrote two questionnaires as the starting point: have you seen it?"

No, I haven't seen it. I've written a book on swinging and am writing a book on autism, so would love to see what you've come up with so far.

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By *penbicoupleCouple over a year ago

Northampton

"Herm am I seeing things or have we been moved to swingers chat? Not sure I like that

WTF?!

That completely misses why these threads were started! Where's the "pissed right off" emoji when you need it?!

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