FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Lets try this (in the right forum!)
Lets try this (in the right forum!)
Jump to: Newest in thread
 |
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
Yet to use these forums but it seems popular so why not.
In fact you can help me...
I am probably far from alone in this but I'm actually astounded at how often my messages get deleted and I end up blocked. I always write a proper message it's not just 'hi wanna fck?'
Why? Be blunt - is there something wrong with me?
Long story short I'm open minded and up for whatever so come say hi and lets see what happens.
X
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Have you read the hints and tips?
Give them the once over, they are handy.
Consider sending mail to be kind of like cold calling. Yes the people you are sending it to are interested in what.you have to offer, but they are getting offers from lots of similarly equipped others too.
So deleting your message is simply narrowing down who they prefer. And blocking you doesn't mean they have taken against you or are upset or offended. They have simply checked you out and decided that you are not for them so have put you in the no thanks box. By blocking you it means they won't show up when you do searches and you won't show up when they search. If one party thinks you're not a match then it saves time and effort later.
Some people on here get lots of messages every day - sometimes a hundred or so! And they may only have half an hour to go through them and sort them out. So they don't have time to say thanks but no thanks to everyone, even if the message sent was well phrased and the profiles appear to match - if you don't fancy someone you don't fancy them.
So try not to see it as demoralizing or a personal judgement of you. It's simply part of the process.
But welcome to the forum, join in the mayhem and enjoy some giggles. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Profiles short but ok pics are ok, just takes time and patience sadly single men get a rough ride due to the vast amount of idiots, however with patience and persistence it will happen, I'd recommend trying chat rooms get yourself known as a real person, be yourself no bullshit people will respond eventually |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
Yeah I understand and appreciate all that. I guess then the second Q is... Without it just being I don't meet their preferences... Why so little success? It kinda does inevitably get demoralising after a while. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Profiles short but ok pics are ok, just takes time and patience sadly single men get a rough ride due to the vast amount of idiots, however with patience and persistence it will happen, I'd recommend trying chat rooms get yourself known as a real person, be yourself no bullshit people will respond eventually "
Yeah I had written more but I realised it had no effect so I thought I'd go for something more to the point lol |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Yeah I understand and appreciate all that. I guess then the second Q is... Without it just being I don't meet their preferences... Why so little success? It kinda does inevitably get demoralising after a while. "
Because we don't feel lust for everyone who matches a checklist of preferences. I like tall and muscular. But I don't want to have sex with every tall, muscular man out there.
I don't know why, chemistry perhaps. But if the attraction isn't there from the pics, message and profile then I'll move onto one where it is.
Even then there's no guarantee. I meet for coffee first and have a turn down rate of about 50%.
The difference is that as a rare single female I don't go looking, I get lots of messages to choose from. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Yeah I understand and appreciate all that. I guess then the second Q is... Without it just being I don't meet their preferences... Why so little success? It kinda does inevitably get demoralising after a while.
Because we don't feel lust for everyone who matches a checklist of preferences. I like tall and muscular. But I don't want to have sex with every tall, muscular man out there.
I don't know why, chemistry perhaps. But if the attraction isn't there from the pics, message and profile then I'll move onto one where it is.
Even then there's no guarantee. I meet for coffee first and have a turn down rate of about 50%.
The difference is that as a rare single female I don't go looking, I get lots of messages to choose from."
I guess so. When there's 99 guys and 1 girl and 98 of the guys are being tools I guess I don't blame the 1 girl for becoming hard to please. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
It's not simply about hard to please. Many people in here only get to play when they are not working, not got other commitments, have got a babysitter and either the house to themselves or a hotel. And for couples tines that by two.
So if you only get playtime once a month or six weeks then you want it to be right.
And you still get the 99 messages and 98 are tools and that can be 99 a day!  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
Yeah. Guess I hurt need to take it less personally. I just know whoever messages me will at least get a no thank you. I suppose if I got 100 a day I might get bored of doing that though. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Your profile just sounds negative. I (and many others I know) read the profile of anyone who mails me before the message. If there's nothing of interest in the profile then I won't even read the message. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago
Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum |
"What do you suggest?"
No point in me writing your profile for you - something I like will not be liked by other women. However a short description of yourself and what you are looking for would helo you enormously. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"What do you suggest?"
Try to make your profile sound positive and interesting. You're selling yourself, so make it appealing (dont lie though).
Have a look at a few other male profiles and you'll see that the successful ones are informative, humorous and clear. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Whatever you do, although the lady in the pic may have incredibly small hands (joking) whatever you do, don't put a can or something to prove size in the picture!
Agree with others on here, join the chat rooms and get established and just make your profile as honest a description of yourself as you can. It will be long winded and yes, you will get knocked back - a lot - but persevere.
Good luck |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Save cock pics for your friends only - one on public is fine but some women aren't keen on more.
Turn your face pic the right way round - but good on you for having it.
Hopefully you have a full face pic in your friends/private that you can send if asked for one - we all like to know which guy to say hello to in the coffee shop!
Torso and bum/legs pics are popular too. You can do them dressed, half-dressed or naked, there's no consensus.
As for the words: keep it positive, say something about yourself, if you can't accommodate or only at certain times give a word of explanation (we don't need a saga but if attached its better to be upfront or if you share your home or have custody of a child).
Tell us what.you're looking for: couples, singles, TVs, regular meets or one offs, are you happy to meet in a public place if they ask (useful for all parties as you can make a final decision without feeling like you have to play), any no-nos, any requirements, any things you've never tried and are curious about, any fetishes (foot worshipers would get frustrated by meeting someone with perfect but unbearably ticklish feet), any physical types, and age ranges (leaving it 18-99 will get messages deleted by some).
Break the text up with paragraphs, run a spell check, try not to use I and I want/need too much and try to keep it light hearted.
Good luck. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Yeah I can only repeat what has been said above. When I get an unsolicited male mail, I click on their profile.
I expect a good detailed piece of information ... Look at my profile and that's pretty much what I expect a guy to have too with their personality displayed!
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"OKAY!...
How about now guys? "
A bit better, still pretty generic and reads all about what you want. Not really what you offer.
Nothing in it would make me contact you, or (depending on what a mail said and what other mail I had) even reply. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Have you read the hints and tips?
Give them the once over, they are handy.
Consider sending mail to be kind of like cold calling. Yes the people you are sending it to are interested in what.you have to offer, but they are getting offers from lots of similarly equipped others too.
So deleting your message is simply narrowing down who they prefer. And blocking you doesn't mean they have taken against you or are upset or offended. They have simply checked you out and decided that you are not for them so have put you in the no thanks box. By blocking you it means they won't show up when you do searches and you won't show up when they search. If one party thinks you're not a match then it saves time and effort later.
Some people on here get lots of messages every day - sometimes a hundred or so! And they may only have half an hour to go through them and sort them out. So they don't have time to say thanks but no thanks to everyone, even if the message sent was well phrased and the profiles appear to match - if you don't fancy someone you don't fancy them.
So try not to see it as demoralizing or a personal judgement of you. It's simply part of the process.
But welcome to the forum, join in the mayhem and enjoy some giggles."
Well Mrs Santa... I couldn't have put it any better myself  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
» Add a new message to this topic
