FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > What are your perceptions?
What are your perceptions?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Was posting on another thread how I though peoples perceptions of what makes someone athletic, curvy etc are different. I'm sure everyone reading this will have looked at a profile at some point and thought to themself "your not athletic" or something similar.
As you should all know the choices from the drop down box are:
Athletic, Slim, Average, Curvy, Ample, Large, Fabulous.
So what are your views. I'll put my description of what I'd expect myself to look like to fall into the above brackets. This is only my opinion so it will clearly differ from others. Are there many with different perceptions to me?
Athletic - Gym fit with muscle definition, toned/hard body. Flat belly not rounded or hanging over the belt.
Slim - Not overweight and carrying very little fat but with little muscle definition.
Average - May have a little extra fat with a few love handles but not overweight (I know that the UK average is a 14 but that is still overweight)
Curvy - For a women I'd say maybe a 14, definitely not above. Or maybe just have a curvy bum and chest (hourglass) but not overweight. For a bloke may have a bit of a belly.
Ample/Large - Getting onto be more overweight. Women I'd say 16 and upwards and men I'd say over a 36 inch waist
Fabulous - I've seen both slim and large lady's with this on their profile. More so larger to be fair. When I see this on a profile It makes me think that the person isn't comfortable putting themself into a cattegory that labels them as overweight.
Like I said these are just my opinions based on the profiles that I've seen over the several years that I've been on the site (clearly I've been on before for all those now scanning my profile and noticing it was only opened several months ago).
I've seen some profiles that have classed themselves as Athletic and just thought to myself either:
A. This person clicked athletic by mistake when opening their profile.
B. This person is failing misserably at trying to fool people.
C. This person has missguided conception of how they look.
So what are your thoughts? Are they much different than mine? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I just want to add that this is by no meens a dig at anyone! For example there may be people out there who read slim and automatically asume that the person is skinny. That wouldn't be my view but I'm sure It will be others. I also don't want this to turn into a debate about what is overweight and what isn't  Just your views from the body types that appear in the drop down box when opening your profile |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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im a good 14/16 at the mo - and say im curvy - would never class myself as ample - but very hard to define as i think height comes into it as well - im fairly tall and carry weight not too badly (this is what im told) but if i was taller/ shorter the image would vary |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"im a good 14/16 at the mo - and say im curvy - would never class myself as ample - but very hard to define as i think height comes into it as well - im fairly tall and carry weight not too badly (this is what im told) but if i was taller/ shorter the image would vary "
Very good point and very true. Height does play a big part. |
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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago
Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum |
I don't look at the descriptions until I've looked at their pics, but to be honest you need to use your own instincts a lot of the time. There are people on here who are very good at 'facebook' pics, where they have cropped a photo to remove the bad bits, and I have had a shock on meeting them. One guy described himself as average but must have been 25 stone!
I have put more details about myself in my profile, but I haven't met anyone yet who thought I mis-described myself. That I know of anyway.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Picture paints a thousand words. Only the narcissistic amongst us will really worry about it. I don't look at what people class themselves as, I simply look at the picture and either like it or not. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have had my own share of amusement when browsing profiles where the body type selected is not the same as what I have in mind after looking at the pics.
The "Private Note" feature is great for inputting my own thoughts. 
As for myself, I classify myself as a BBW. It is more flattering to be informed I do not qualify as one, than to be told I am really bigger than I think!
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By * n zCouple
over a year ago
leamington spa |
Height def plays a part.......you can be 5 foot 9 and a size 16, or 5 foot and a size 16 and look entirely different......better to look at pics rather than someones description of themselves .
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Picture paints a thousand words. Only the narcissistic amongst us will really worry about it. I don't look at what people class themselves as, I simply look at the picture and either like it or not. "
Which I agree with completely but not all profiles show a body pic and as already mentioned by wyrdwomen above some people only put pics on that make them look a lot better than they actualy are. So yes I look at the pictures but I also read ALL of the profile before meeting/messaging. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Picture paints a thousand words. Only the narcissistic amongst us will really worry about it. I don't look at what people class themselves as, I simply look at the picture and either like it or not. "
I think we are all narcissistic to some degree or another |
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I struggle a bit with the statement average woman size 14 cos I always thought it was 16 but no matter .. size 14 overweight well yes if you 5ft . If you 5'7" its not !.
Curvy ..Im overweight and curvy .. big bum smaller waist big boobs spose it depends on the height weight ratio Im definitely curvy.. I do agree on the men sizing tho. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I struggle a bit with the statement average woman size 14 cos I always thought it was 16 but no matter .. size 14 overweight well yes if you 5ft . If you 5'7" its not !.
Curvy ..Im overweight and curvy .. big bum smaller waist big boobs spose it depends on the height weight ratio Im definitely curvy.. I do agree on the men sizing tho. "
http://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/this-britain/average-dress-size-of-women-increases-to-14-715277.html |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I struggle a bit with the statement average woman size 14 cos I always thought it was 16 but no matter .. size 14 overweight well yes if you 5ft . If you 5'7" its not !.
Curvy ..Im overweight and curvy .. big bum smaller waist big boobs spose it depends on the height weight ratio Im definitely curvy.. I do agree on the men sizing tho. "
Trouble is we all categorize ourselves, and overweight is such a derogatory term.
Curvy is great for women....its natural and feminine, but so many feel they should be different.
Great curves by way |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I struggle a bit with the statement average woman size 14 cos I always thought it was 16 but no matter .. size 14 overweight well yes if you 5ft . If you 5'7" its not !.
Curvy ..Im overweight and curvy .. big bum smaller waist big boobs spose it depends on the height weight ratio Im definitely curvy.. I do agree on the men sizing tho.
Trouble is we all categorize ourselves, and overweight is such a derogatory term.
Curvy is great for women....its natural and feminine, but so many feel they should be different.
Great curves by way "
Why is overweight derogatory??  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think your harsh but fair. I put myself as average, meaning as u say, size 10- 12, not overweight but perhaps cud be a bit thinner round the middle and much more toned. Its an easy thing to lie about but i want ppl to know what theyll actually be getting |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We have put ourselves into a category but we have also stated in the profile that people should make their own minds up about us. Pictures and verifications are there for reference!
Others might not see us in the same way. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I think your harsh but fair. I put myself as average, meaning as u say, size 10- 12, not overweight but perhaps cud be a bit thinner round the middle and much more toned. Its an easy thing to lie about but i want ppl to know what theyll actually be getting"
Exactly Why sugar coat something?? :-S It's not as though you can hide it when you turn up for a meet lol x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If I have a BMI that puts me in the overweight category, then I am overweight, simples.
Down from being obese so I am happy! "
So have I at just under 6ft tall and being 14 1/2 stone. But I have a 45" chest and 34" waist and consider myself to be in good shape. Not sure BMI is a good guide! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"If I have a BMI that puts me in the overweight category, then I am overweight, simples.
Down from being obese so I am happy!
So have I at just under 6ft tall and being 14 1/2 stone. But I have a 45" chest and 34" waist and consider myself to be in good shape. Not sure BMI is a good guide!"
Bmi is not a good guide if you do the weights.I am ooverweight according to my bmi. But then to have your bmi done properly you are supposed to have a pinch test and other things to go in conjunction with your bmi. For most who don't do weightlifting it is a relatively good guide |
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I would love it if there was a choice that said 'comfortable'. Any size body can be beautiful to someone. The fact is that if someone is comfortable with their size then they will be confident with their actions, and a confident sassy lady is much more appealing than a lady who is uncomfortable with her body shape. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If I have a BMI that puts me in the overweight category, then I am overweight, simples.
Down from being obese so I am happy!
So have I at just under 6ft tall and being 14 1/2 stone. But I have a 45" chest and 34" waist and consider myself to be in good shape. Not sure BMI is a good guide!
Bmi is not a good guide if you do the weights.I am ooverweight according to my bmi. But then to have your bmi done properly you are supposed to have a pinch test and other things to go in conjunction with your bmi. For most who don't do weightlifting it is a relatively good guide"
It is a hangover from when I used to play rugby and I did a lot of heavy weights work. Just do maintenance stuff now but people seem to think I am still in decent shape so I am not going to argue with them even BMI reckons I am clinically obese |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I would love it if there was a choice that said 'comfortable'. Any size body can be beautiful to someone. The fact is that if someone is comfortable with their size then they will be confident with their actions, and a confident sassy lady is much more appealing than a lady who is uncomfortable with her body shape. "
That is a great comment. Confidence is sexy! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I would love it if there was a choice that said 'comfortable'. Any size body can be beautiful to someone. The fact is that if someone is comfortable with their size then they will be confident with their actions, and a confident sassy lady is much more appealing than a lady who is uncomfortable with her body shape. "
I agree but at the same time people find different body types attractive and others not so. For example some people don't like skinny others do and vice versa so I think it's best to be up front from the beginning. Which goes back to describing yourself accurately which some people struggle with :-S men saying they are athletic when they clearly aren't. Or posting pics which aren't a true representation |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Exactly Why sugar coat something?? :-S It's not as though you can hide it when you turn up for a meet lol x"
ah but some of those don't meet because then the game is up. while it's not it feeds their gratification fetish and their deluded inner narcissist that is probably in a timewarp from better times (like the 20 year old picture gag)...
Wolf
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"If I have a BMI that puts me in the overweight category, then I am overweight, simples.
Down from being obese so I am happy!
So have I at just under 6ft tall and being 14 1/2 stone. But I have a 45" chest and 34" waist and consider myself to be in good shape. Not sure BMI is a good guide!
Bmi is not a good guide if you do the weights.I am ooverweight according to my bmi. But then to have your bmi done properly you are supposed to have a pinch test and other things to go in conjunction with your bmi. For most who don't do weightlifting it is a relatively good guide
It is a hangover from when I used to play rugby and I did a lot of heavy weights work. Just do maintenance stuff now but people seem to think I am still in decent shape so I am not going to argue with them even BMI reckons I am clinically obese "
You can see from your pic you work out or have done in the past. I'm the same. I'm 6'3 and overweight on my bmi but I'm not. The thing with bmi is it doesn't take into account muscle mass. With muscle being heavier than fat it boosts you right up the chart. Judging from your pic (if it's recent ) I'd say it's fair to put yourself in the athletic bracket cause you still have good muscle definition |
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"I would love it if there was a choice that said 'comfortable'. Any size body can be beautiful to someone. The fact is that if someone is comfortable with their size then they will be confident with their actions, and a confident sassy lady is much more appealing than a lady who is uncomfortable with her body shape.
I agree but at the same time people find different body types attractive and others not so. For example some people don't like skinny others do and vice versa so I think it's best to be up front from the beginning. Which goes back to describing yourself accurately which some people struggle with :-S men saying they are athletic when they clearly aren't. Or posting pics which aren't a true representation "
You are right yes, but if everyone put up a 'real'body pic of themselves and let others decide if they were attracted to them then it would save a lot of people missing out on some lovely people because they have maybe described themselves wrongly ( or have body issues).
My opinion was purely a personal one as I have no issues with a ladies size, but I do like tall ladies lol.... another can of worms i guess. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If I have a BMI that puts me in the overweight category, then I am overweight, simples.
Down from being obese so I am happy!
So have I at just under 6ft tall and being 14 1/2 stone. But I have a 45" chest and 34" waist and consider myself to be in good shape. Not sure BMI is a good guide!
Bmi is not a good guide if you do the weights.I am ooverweight according to my bmi. But then to have your bmi done properly you are supposed to have a pinch test and other things to go in conjunction with your bmi. For most who don't do weightlifting it is a relatively good guide
It is a hangover from when I used to play rugby and I did a lot of heavy weights work. Just do maintenance stuff now but people seem to think I am still in decent shape so I am not going to argue with them even BMI reckons I am clinically obese
You can see from your pic you work out or have done in the past. I'm the same. I'm 6'3 and overweight on my bmi but I'm not. The thing with bmi is it doesn't take into account muscle mass. With muscle being heavier than fat it boosts you right up the chart. Judging from your pic (if it's recent ) I'd say it's fair to put yourself in the athletic bracket cause you still have good muscle definition "
Yes all pictures are recent, if anything I am a little slimmer because I have switched to circuit body weight type work and skipping the heavy weights. Mind I am not going to be in the same shape as someone in their twenties who is also 'athletic'. We have D down as average as she is a size 14 but she could easily be 'curvy' as she has a big, firm pair of 38dd's!  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"
Yes all pictures are recent, if anything I am a little slimmer because I have switched to circuit body weight type work and skipping the heavy weights. Mind I am not going to be in the same shape as someone in their twenties who is also 'athletic'. We have D down as average as she is a size 14 but she could easily be 'curvy' as she has a big, firm pair of 38dd's! "
Bang tidy |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I agree BMI may not be a good guide or apply to everyone, however, it is a recognised standard for measuring one's body fat.
I prefer my gents to be slim/toned/solidly built, and don't like waterbeds that wobble when I ride them. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm a size 20 and six foot tall. I put ample and had everyone who met me telling me to change it to curvy as ample didn't fit me!
This will always be subjective and only meeting for a coffee in person will ever solve the issue.
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I generally look at any pictures to give myself an idea of what somebody looks like. BUT, if there are no pictures, I pretty much decide using how people have described themselves and if the description is not what I am looking for I will be inclined to move on.
I have mentioned on another thread that curvy one that has a wide range, but as the OP mentions, so does fabulous.
As for athletic - female russian shot putters are athletes...... but they still dont float my boat.
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"I agree BMI may not be a good guide or apply to everyone, however, it is a recognised standard for measuring one's body fat.
I prefer my gents to be slim/toned/solidly built, and don't like waterbeds that wobble when I ride them. "
BMI isn't the recognised standard for measuring body fat - it's for measuring body mass. That mass might be made up of muscle (not in my case unfortunately) which is why it's not really a good indication of someone's 'fatness'.
Many athletes have a BMI that puts them into the overweight category but have very little body fat.
I remember reading somewhere that the BMI was actually devised by a mattress company who wanted to design mattresses suitable for different weights. It was then hijacked by the medical profession and is now held up as some kind of holy grail. Not sure if that's true (just off to check google ) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The body mass index (BMI), or Quetelet index, is a heuristic proxy for estimating human body fat based on an individual's weight and height. BMI does not actually measure the percentage of body fat." etc. etc...
As quoted from Wiki, however, they could be wrong, of course!
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The thing with bmi is it doesn't take into account muscle mass."
You may in interested in the Fat Free Mass Index (FFMI) then, which gives far more accurate readings for people who lift - but you need to know your bodyfat% for it to work.
http://www.naturalphysiques.com/28/fat-free-mass-index-ffmi
Basically, for males, the ratings are around:
17: Below average muscle mass
19: Average
20: Above average
21-22: Noticably muscular
23-24: VERY muscular
25: Genetically elite
Many of the golden age, pre-steroid bodybuilders had scores around the 25 region, but these have since been absolutely smashed with the introduction of hormones and drugs into competition - I believe Ronnie Colemans FFMI is around 32! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I can honestly say I never look at these, I look at the photo.
I can't actually remember what mine is set on at the moment, probably average - but that to me would be 'average' for my age group, yer average 20 year old is nothing like yer average 47 year old after all.
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"I can honestly say I never look at these, I look at the photo...
"
Probably the best bet (assuming it's reasonably recent). And if there isn't one, then maybe ask for one if the person's profile is of interest.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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As I have repeatedly said in the past, there is more to cock size and body shape for me to be interested in a gent.
I will not meet a gent if he has the personality of a single cell organism even if he looks and is built like a Greek God!
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"As I have repeatedly said in the past, there is more to cock size and body shape for me to be interested in a gent.
I will not meet a gent if he has the personality of a single cell organism even if he looks and is built like a Greek God!
"
Totally agree, but would make an exception if he looked like George Clooney  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm not sure what I am, I would say I'm in between slim/average. The excess fat is round my stomach."
I have and would describe myself as average yet I am a size 12 even the lumpy bits |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm a size 20 and six foot tall. I put ample and had everyone who met me telling me to change it to curvy as ample didn't fit me!
This will always be subjective and only meeting for a coffee in person will ever solve the issue.
"
See now I would have said at 6ft tall, size 20 would mean curvy, and to me, ample is a descriptive word ie ample bosom, not another word for curvy |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I am 5'2 size 10/12 36D boob,s big thighs and muscular legs and slim waist and class myself as curvy
Is that wrong?
We both class you as 'fit'."
Ty
Wierd thing is I don't .. I classed myself as fitter when was a size 6 lol
Now because of thyroid problems I'm bigger and I have curves.. Which is why class myself as 'curvy' |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm a size 20 and six foot tall. I put ample and had everyone who met me telling me to change it to curvy as ample didn't fit me!
This will always be subjective and only meeting for a coffee in person will ever solve the issue.
See now I would have said at 6ft tall, size 20 would mean curvy, and to me, ample is a descriptive word ie ample bosom, not another word for curvy"
*grins*  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I struggle a bit with the statement average woman size 14 cos I always thought it was 16 but no matter .. size 14 overweight well yes if you 5ft . If you 5'7" its not !.
Curvy ..Im overweight and curvy .. big bum smaller waist big boobs spose it depends on the height weight ratio Im definitely curvy.. I do agree on the men sizing tho.
Trouble is we all categorize ourselves, and overweight is such a derogatory term.
Curvy is great for women....its natural and feminine, but so many feel they should be different.
Great curves by way
Why is overweight derogatory?? "
I don't think it is. I'm overweight/ fat. Thin friends say I'm too big, fat friends say I'm skinny. 
Off your description I'm probably 'curvy'. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Have to say that I very rarely look at that part of a persons profile, and would much rather concentrate on the rest of the wording to see if it grabs my attention, along with photos.
Might have to go and check how accurate mine is now |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm a size 20 and six foot tall. I put ample and had everyone who met me telling me to change it to curvy as ample didn't fit me!
This will always be subjective and only meeting for a coffee in person will ever solve the issue.
See now I would have said at 6ft tall, size 20 would mean curvy, and to me, ample is a descriptive word ie ample bosom, not another word for curvy
*grins* "
Well you already know we want to get into your pants so you also are in our 'fit' category |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I am 5'2 size 10/12 36D boob,s big thighs and muscular legs and slim waist and class myself as curvy
Is that wrong?
We both class you as 'fit'.
Ty
Wierd thing is I don't .. I classed myself as fitter when was a size 6 lol
Now because of thyroid problems I'm bigger and I have curves.. Which is why class myself as 'curvy' "
I think we much prefer you now than then! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Hmmmmm so by your definition, I should describe myself as large! I don't think so sony jim, I think you need to go back to the drawing board. "
No I don't. I said a size 14 is average or curvy which I think most would agree with. I said a size 14 is overweight, which dependant on your height is relatively true. Overweight doesn't necessarily mean fat |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hmmmmm so by your definition, I should describe myself as large! I don't think so sony jim, I think you need to go back to the drawing board.
No I don't. I said a size 14 is average or curvy which I think most would agree with. I said a size 14 is overweight, which dependant on your height is relatively true. Overweight doesn't necessarily mean fat "
D would never be less than 14 because of her chest size. That won't change that much even if she lost a large amount of weight. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I genuinely don't care about people's figure or how they classify themselves. As such - I'm never, ever disappointed."
So going from what you've said you'd sleep with literally anyone??
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I genuinely don't care about people's figure or how they classify themselves. As such - I'm never, ever disappointed.
So going from what you've said you'd sleep with literally anyone??
"
No he's saying there's other levels of attraction ie personality etc I think.It's simple you are attracted or you aren't ? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I genuinely don't care about people's figure or how they classify themselves. As such - I'm never, ever disappointed.
So going from what you've said you'd sleep with literally anyone??
No he's saying there's other levels of attraction ie personality etc I think.It's simple you are attracted or you aren't ? "
Yes, but at the same time there has to be a physical attraction too. His profile also states ages upto 99. That plus his comment sort of suggests that he'd fuck anything That's how it reads to me and I'm sure I'm not the only one who would see it that way |
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I changed mine from ample to fabulous - not because I am ashamed at all - just as it is the next category - that way I guess no one can be mislead and there are photos for people to see for themselves.
TBH I rarely read the description I prefer a photo - the size rarely matters its the overall package for me and whether we click |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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i am the same i dont look at descriptions much as one person perception changes to another.
im in-between a 18-22 at the moment due to loosing weight and toning up but im happy curvy and most can see photos of me which reflects that
a photo gives a good idea i find |
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