FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Fwb delimma
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"You are not in a relationship so I guess he can do what he likes? I guess you need to have a chat about things " Oh course he can do what he likes and so can I but as I never had a fwb before whom I found out who else he slept with, it been abit tricky to accept. Usually I don't discuss these things. Just go with the flow and claim ignorance | |||
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"But reading the verification made me abit uneasy. How do I get over this as we do have a great time in and out of the bedroom " I’d say that you two need to talk about it. Maybe you want different things. Or maybe he’d be into a monogamous relationship with you but has no idea you feel that way. You won’t know unless you chat it through. | |||
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"I'd bin him. I don't like knowing who else they fucked. I find the verification system really creepy with zero privacy. I'd find a non Fab FWB. " I think it was creepy to hear another woman describe her sexual experience exactly like mine and saying she's looking forward seeing him again etc. Lol maybe it's my ego or jealousy that's the issue here as he's super lovely to me...too lol | |||
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"It's a case of like it or lump it in my opinion. I don't know the terms of your arrangement but personally I wouldn't be putting emotional labour or working on myself for the sake of a fwb relationship. For me it's not worth it for sex. " True, I rather ride my bike than have sex. Way more exciting and less emotional lol | |||
"It's a case of like it or lump it in my opinion. I don't know the terms of your arrangement but personally I wouldn't be putting emotional labour or working on myself for the sake of a fwb relationship. For me it's not worth it for sex. True, I rather ride my bike than have sex. Way more exciting and less emotional lol" well I'm not sure I'd go quite that far but yeah lol. I think it's great when you like someone and sex is good but I think women in particular are taught to make adjustments to themselves and the way they feel in order to make a relationship work which is fine...If it's worth it and the other person/people are putting in the graft too. Unless it's likely to develop, this relationship isn't worth it. | |||
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"Fab is an unusual site, in that the default assumption is that any meet from here is non-monogamous. It sounds like your feelings have grown for this guy, so if you want to change to monogamy then you have to talk to him. It's clear that he doesn't see your relationship as a monogamous one - or he wouldn't have published the verification. He's still "advertising". So I wouldn't get your hopes up, but I wish you luck." Just added info .. he posted that verification before we fucked. Not sure if that makes a difference but to read another woman saying same things that I was about to write kinda freaked me out as i never experienced this before | |||
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"Fab is an unusual site, in that the default assumption is that any meet from here is non-monogamous. It sounds like your feelings have grown for this guy, so if you want to change to monogamy then you have to talk to him. It's clear that he doesn't see your relationship as a monogamous one - or he wouldn't have published the verification. He's still "advertising". So I wouldn't get your hopes up, but I wish you luck. Just added info .. he posted that verification before we fucked. Not sure if that makes a difference but to read another woman saying same things that I was about to write kinda freaked me out as i never experienced this before " Is he doing this to mess with your head? Maybe this one is best left. | |||
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"OP, this is a swingers site, and as he is on this site, he considers himself a swinger, at least to some extent. It's not a "I've shagged you and you're now mine and nobody else's" site, unless that's what you agreed beforehand. If you didn't, you should not expect him to be exclusive to you, nor he should expect you to be exclusive to him. I'm sorry, OP, but from reading some of your threads, I think you struggle with grasping the concept of swinging. And just because another lady enjoyed meeting the guy you met (afterwards), it only means (to me anyway) that he is good at what he does, a genuine person and enjoys pleasuring women. " have to say without wishing to upset anyone, we do agree with you | |||
"I'd bin him. I don't like knowing who else they fucked. I find the verification system really creepy with zero privacy. I'd find a non Fab FWB. I think it was creepy to hear another woman describe her sexual experience exactly like mine and saying she's looking forward seeing him again etc. Lol maybe it's my ego or jealousy that's the issue here as he's super lovely to me...too lol" If he's a good fuck you could still meet him but never look at his profile again. | |||
"OP, this is a swingers site, and as he is on this site, he considers himself a swinger, at least to some extent. It's not a "I've shagged you and you're now mine and nobody else's" site, unless that's what you agreed beforehand. If you didn't, you should not expect him to be exclusive to you, nor he should expect you to be exclusive to him. I'm sorry, OP, but from reading some of your threads, I think you struggle with grasping the concept of swinging. And just because another lady enjoyed meeting the guy you met (afterwards), it only means (to me anyway) that he is good at what he does, a genuine person and enjoys pleasuring women. " Not everyone is a swinger on here and it's not mandatory either. | |||
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"OP, this is a swingers site, and as he is on this site, he considers himself a swinger, at least to some extent. It's not a "I've shagged you and you're now mine and nobody else's" site, unless that's what you agreed beforehand. If you didn't, you should not expect him to be exclusive to you, nor he should expect you to be exclusive to him. I'm sorry, OP, but from reading some of your threads, I think you struggle with grasping the concept of swinging. And just because another lady enjoyed meeting the guy you met (afterwards), it only means (to me anyway) that he is good at what he does, a genuine person and enjoys pleasuring women. Not everyone is a swinger on here and it's not mandatory either." With due respect we agree not all are swingers lets face it there are 1000s of pic hunters for a start, but as was said it is a Swingers site, started by swingers for swingers and therefore the OP cannot really be surprised if someone they met on here turns out to be a swinger | |||
"OP, this is a swingers site, and as he is on this site, he considers himself a swinger, at least to some extent. It's not a "I've shagged you and you're now mine and nobody else's" site, unless that's what you agreed beforehand. If you didn't, you should not expect him to be exclusive to you, nor he should expect you to be exclusive to him. I'm sorry, OP, but from reading some of your threads, I think you struggle with grasping the concept of swinging. And just because another lady enjoyed meeting the guy you met (afterwards), it only means (to me anyway) that he is good at what he does, a genuine person and enjoys pleasuring women. Not everyone is a swinger on here and it's not mandatory either. With due respect we agree not all are swingers lets face it there are 1000s of pic hunters for a start, but as was said it is a Swingers site, started by swingers for swingers and therefore the OP cannot really be surprised if someone they met on here turns out to be a swinger " Fair point. | |||
"OP, this is a swingers site, and as he is on this site, he considers himself a swinger, at least to some extent. It's not a "I've shagged you and you're now mine and nobody else's" site, unless that's what you agreed beforehand. If you didn't, you should not expect him to be exclusive to you, nor he should expect you to be exclusive to him. I'm sorry, OP, but from reading some of your threads, I think you struggle with grasping the concept of swinging. And just because another lady enjoyed meeting the guy you met (afterwards), it only means (to me anyway) that he is good at what he does, a genuine person and enjoys pleasuring women. Not everyone is a swinger on here and it's not mandatory either." True, but it is literally in the name of the site, so a certain level of expectation is to be expected. Like, this is explicitly not a traditional dating site, and approaching it as such, is a recipe for disaster. | |||
"OP, this is a swingers site, and as he is on this site, he considers himself a swinger, at least to some extent. It's not a "I've shagged you and you're now mine and nobody else's" site, unless that's what you agreed beforehand. If you didn't, you should not expect him to be exclusive to you, nor he should expect you to be exclusive to him. I'm sorry, OP, but from reading some of your threads, I think you struggle with grasping the concept of swinging. And just because another lady enjoyed meeting the guy you met (afterwards), it only means (to me anyway) that he is good at what he does, a genuine person and enjoys pleasuring women. " Perhaps he was just practicing | |||
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"OP, this is a swingers site, and as he is on this site, he considers himself a swinger, at least to some extent. It's not a "I've shagged you and you're now mine and nobody else's" site, unless that's what you agreed beforehand. If you didn't, you should not expect him to be exclusive to you, nor he should expect you to be exclusive to him. I'm sorry, OP, but from reading some of your threads, I think you struggle with grasping the concept of swinging. And just because another lady enjoyed meeting the guy you met (afterwards), it only means (to me anyway) that he is good at what he does, a genuine person and enjoys pleasuring women. Not everyone is a swinger on here and it's not mandatory either. True, but it is literally in the name of the site, so a certain level of expectation is to be expected. Like, this is explicitly not a traditional dating site, and approaching it as such, is a recipe for disaster." Yeah I would never date anyone on here. I wouldn't trust them, they'd just keep fucking around. | |||
"I've only had a FWB once when I was single, it was a D/s sort of dynamic and I remember being a bit weirded out when he randomly started reading me his fab veris!! We first met on a dating app, then continued on a site that shall not be named. I got hurt in the end, I didn't exactly have feelings but he kept blowing me off and then raunchy photos appeared of him with someone MUCH younger than me Mr Fox actually alerted me to this, and that was when I realised I couldn't be involved with someone who couldn't communicate! Sorry for the ramble but I do recognise your feelings here - Xeno xx" That sounds like an abusive relationship. Not swinging. Hope you are ok now. | |||
"I've only had a FWB once when I was single, it was a D/s sort of dynamic and I remember being a bit weirded out when he randomly started reading me his fab veris!! We first met on a dating app, then continued on a site that shall not be named. I got hurt in the end, I didn't exactly have feelings but he kept blowing me off and then raunchy photos appeared of him with someone MUCH younger than me Mr Fox actually alerted me to this, and that was when I realised I couldn't be involved with someone who couldn't communicate! Sorry for the ramble but I do recognise your feelings here - Xeno xx That sounds like an abusive relationship. Not swinging. Hope you are ok now. " Bless you love, it was a real mindfuck as my relationship prior to being single was abusive - I was looking for fun and frolics, not melon twisting Hugs | |||
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"OP, this is a swingers site, and as he is on this site, he considers himself a swinger, at least to some extent. It's not a "I've shagged you and you're now mine and nobody else's" site, unless that's what you agreed beforehand. If you didn't, you should not expect him to be exclusive to you, nor he should expect you to be exclusive to him. I'm sorry, OP, but from reading some of your threads, I think you struggle with grasping the concept of swinging. And just because another lady enjoyed meeting the guy you met (afterwards), it only means (to me anyway) that he is good at what he does, a genuine person and enjoys pleasuring women. Not everyone is a swinger on here and it's not mandatory either. True, but it is literally in the name of the site, so a certain level of expectation is to be expected. Like, this is explicitly not a traditional dating site, and approaching it as such, is a recipe for disaster. Yeah I would never date anyone on here. I wouldn't trust them, they'd just keep fucking around. " I do understand the concept of swinging. I didn't use this site to look for swingers or to date anyone. I actually was looking for mfm. Ended up making new friends, afew crud dates, went to sex club, drew afew fabbers and written afew stories. So I think fab caters for all sorts of people. I'm just saying I'm using to one night stands, flings or serious relationships. This situation is totally new to me and felt like ignorance would of been better than knowing. Maybe in hindsight, not to look on his profile would of been better. I'm not looking for a romantic relationship, just fun sex with men I feel comfortable with. | |||
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"OP, this is a swingers site, and as he is on this site, he considers himself a swinger, at least to some extent. It's not a "I've shagged you and you're now mine and nobody else's" site, unless that's what you agreed beforehand. If you didn't, you should not expect him to be exclusive to you, nor he should expect you to be exclusive to him. I'm sorry, OP, but from reading some of your threads, I think you struggle with grasping the concept of swinging. And just because another lady enjoyed meeting the guy you met (afterwards), it only means (to me anyway) that he is good at what he does, a genuine person and enjoys pleasuring women. Not everyone is a swinger on here and it's not mandatory either. True, but it is literally in the name of the site, so a certain level of expectation is to be expected. Like, this is explicitly not a traditional dating site, and approaching it as such, is a recipe for disaster. Yeah I would never date anyone on here. I wouldn't trust them, they'd just keep fucking around. I do understand the concept of swinging. I didn't use this site to look for swingers or to date anyone. I actually was looking for mfm. Ended up making new friends, afew crud dates, went to sex club, drew afew fabbers and written afew stories. So I think fab caters for all sorts of people. I'm just saying I'm using to one night stands, flings or serious relationships. This situation is totally new to me and felt like ignorance would of been better than knowing. Maybe in hindsight, not to look on his profile would of been better. I'm not looking for a romantic relationship, just fun sex with men I feel comfortable with." So what's the issue? You do sound intiallly like you'd hope for more? And maybe you need to see if they're on the same page? But if they're not you can't really hold them to that either. Hope it works out | |||
"OP, this is a swingers site, and as he is on this site, he considers himself a swinger, at least to some extent. It's not a "I've shagged you and you're now mine and nobody else's" site, unless that's what you agreed beforehand. If you didn't, you should not expect him to be exclusive to you, nor he should expect you to be exclusive to him. I'm sorry, OP, but from reading some of your threads, I think you struggle with grasping the concept of swinging. And just because another lady enjoyed meeting the guy you met (afterwards), it only means (to me anyway) that he is good at what he does, a genuine person and enjoys pleasuring women. Not everyone is a swinger on here and it's not mandatory either. True, but it is literally in the name of the site, so a certain level of expectation is to be expected. Like, this is explicitly not a traditional dating site, and approaching it as such, is a recipe for disaster. Yeah I would never date anyone on here. I wouldn't trust them, they'd just keep fucking around. I do understand the concept of swinging. I didn't use this site to look for swingers or to date anyone. I actually was looking for mfm. Ended up making new friends, afew crud dates, went to sex club, drew afew fabbers and written afew stories. So I think fab caters for all sorts of people. I'm just saying I'm using to one night stands, flings or serious relationships. This situation is totally new to me and felt like ignorance would of been better than knowing. Maybe in hindsight, not to look on his profile would of been better. I'm not looking for a romantic relationship, just fun sex with men I feel comfortable with." Everyone is looking for different things. Just need to find someone compatible. | |||
"OP, this is a swingers site, and as he is on this site, he considers himself a swinger, at least to some extent. It's not a "I've shagged you and you're now mine and nobody else's" site, unless that's what you agreed beforehand. If you didn't, you should not expect him to be exclusive to you, nor he should expect you to be exclusive to him. I'm sorry, OP, but from reading some of your threads, I think you struggle with grasping the concept of swinging. And just because another lady enjoyed meeting the guy you met (afterwards), it only means (to me anyway) that he is good at what he does, a genuine person and enjoys pleasuring women. Not everyone is a swinger on here and it's not mandatory either. True, but it is literally in the name of the site, so a certain level of expectation is to be expected. Like, this is explicitly not a traditional dating site, and approaching it as such, is a recipe for disaster. Yeah I would never date anyone on here. I wouldn't trust them, they'd just keep fucking around. I do understand the concept of swinging. I didn't use this site to look for swingers or to date anyone. I actually was looking for mfm. Ended up making new friends, afew crud dates, went to sex club, drew afew fabbers and written afew stories. So I think fab caters for all sorts of people. I'm just saying I'm using to one night stands, flings or serious relationships. This situation is totally new to me and felt like ignorance would of been better than knowing. Maybe in hindsight, not to look on his profile would of been better. I'm not looking for a romantic relationship, just fun sex with men I feel comfortable with. So what's the issue? You do sound intiallly like you'd hope for more? And maybe you need to see if they're on the same page? But if they're not you can't really hold them to that either. Hope it works out " No it's not hoping for more, it's just coming to terms with verifications lol it just threw me abit as he met her straight away after me and she wrote stuff I was about to write. Abit weird and creepy but I'm over it now my brain has processed it. | |||
"There's plenty of people on here who met each other and still going together x it's a shagging site so you shouldn't have to worry about a couple of verifications x hope that yous end up together x don't let the green eye monster to spoil it okay dokey xx " I read lots of marriages come from meeting fab but I seen couples happy to share but mainly the women having the fun! Lol MFM seems to take place alot | |||
"I never had a fwb before from fab. I usually just meet one time only with men on fab. But this guy I really like meeting and believe he feels the same way. I was just going to leave him a good verification but saw he had a new verification. I'm not sure how to feel about this one as I always been in monogamous relationships in the past. Do I stop sleeping with him and just stick to one nighters meets? But reading the verification made me abit uneasy. How do I get over this as we do have a great time in and out of the bedroom " FWB clearly means something a little more special to you than him. Insensitive for him to meet someone else and display a veri with the whole FWB thing between you If I’m honest I’m not a fan of veris of someone’s sexual conquests - I just see the need. Social ones prove enough that someone is real etc I would put him to the kerb and find (if that’s what you would like) someone that wants to be your FWB and you are just his FWB Hell girl , you look amazing in your pics - his loss , someone’s gain | |||
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"What you are experiencing, is jealousy. Simple as that. Even FWB isn't usually 'exclusive' as it's the one thing that makes it not a relationship. They are usually messy and one usually ends up catching feelings. It sounds like you have a little already whether you want to admit that or not? He had no idea how you felt and is entitled to play with who he likes. But speak to him about how you honestly feel. You look amazing so I'm sure he will comply haha!" He played with her in-between meeting me. But slept with her before me. He's been really supportive of how I felt about it and we have came to a compromise without jepodising our connection with eachother. A true gent so I'm glad I met him , thought things through with abit of help from this forum. So that's the latest outcome from this post Thanks for all the encouragement and positive advice given | |||
"What you are experiencing, is jealousy. Simple as that. Even FWB isn't usually 'exclusive' as it's the one thing that makes it not a relationship. They are usually messy and one usually ends up catching feelings. It sounds like you have a little already whether you want to admit that or not? He had no idea how you felt and is entitled to play with who he likes. But speak to him about how you honestly feel. You look amazing so I'm sure he will comply haha!" I don’t think it has to end with feelings. I have several friends from the site that I see reasonably regularly. I enjoy their company and they enjoy mine but that doesn’t mean that any of us are going to catch “the feelings”. I am increasingly thinking that one of the things that defines swingers is that they are able to avoid “the feelings” and keep a swinging relationship away from a “proper” relationship. | |||
"What you are experiencing, is jealousy. Simple as that. Even FWB isn't usually 'exclusive' as it's the one thing that makes it not a relationship. They are usually messy and one usually ends up catching feelings. It sounds like you have a little already whether you want to admit that or not? He had no idea how you felt and is entitled to play with who he likes. But speak to him about how you honestly feel. You look amazing so I'm sure he will comply haha! He played with her in-between meeting me. But slept with her before me. He's been really supportive of how I felt about it and we have came to a compromise without jepodising our connection with eachother. A true gent so I'm glad I met him , thought things through with abit of help from this forum. So that's the latest outcome from this post Thanks for all the encouragement and positive advice given" This has made my morning so far!! Wonderful outcome, so pleased | |||
"What you are experiencing, is jealousy. Simple as that. Even FWB isn't usually 'exclusive' as it's the one thing that makes it not a relationship. They are usually messy and one usually ends up catching feelings. It sounds like you have a little already whether you want to admit that or not? He had no idea how you felt and is entitled to play with who he likes. But speak to him about how you honestly feel. You look amazing so I'm sure he will comply haha! He played with her in-between meeting me. But slept with her before me. He's been really supportive of how I felt about it and we have came to a compromise without jepodising our connection with eachother. A true gent so I'm glad I met him , thought things through with abit of help from this forum. So that's the latest outcome from this post Thanks for all the encouragement and positive advice given This has made my morning so far!! Wonderful outcome, so pleased " However it may take some time for me to accept he's like that with every woman he meets and I'm not as special as he makes out me to be lol fab life eh | |||
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"What you are experiencing, is jealousy. Simple as that. Even FWB isn't usually 'exclusive' as it's the one thing that makes it not a relationship. They are usually messy and one usually ends up catching feelings. It sounds like you have a little already whether you want to admit that or not? He had no idea how you felt and is entitled to play with who he likes. But speak to him about how you honestly feel. You look amazing so I'm sure he will comply haha! I don’t think it has to end with feelings. I have several friends from the site that I see reasonably regularly. I enjoy their company and they enjoy mine but that doesn’t mean that any of us are going to catch “the feelings”. I am increasingly thinking that one of the things that defines swingers is that they are able to avoid “the feelings” and keep a swinging relationship away from a “proper” relationship." No but in her case it sounds like that might have got involved. We are still human beings capable of emotion, can't turn off the crush switch! | |||
"However it may take some time for me to accept he's like that with every woman he meets and I'm not as special as he makes out me to be lol fab life eh " We all like to think or feel that we are special, so I don’t see anything wrong with how you have reacted. Its more how you behave going forward. Can you get past it, or will it be a blocker? | |||
"What you are experiencing, is jealousy. Simple as that. Even FWB isn't usually 'exclusive' as it's the one thing that makes it not a relationship. They are usually messy and one usually ends up catching feelings. It sounds like you have a little already whether you want to admit that or not? He had no idea how you felt and is entitled to play with who he likes. But speak to him about how you honestly feel. You look amazing so I'm sure he will comply haha! He played with her in-between meeting me. But slept with her before me. He's been really supportive of how I felt about it and we have came to a compromise without jepodising our connection with eachother. A true gent so I'm glad I met him , thought things through with abit of help from this forum. So that's the latest outcome from this post Thanks for all the encouragement and positive advice given This has made my morning so far!! Wonderful outcome, so pleased However it may take some time for me to accept he's like that with every woman he meets and I'm not as special as he makes out me to be lol fab life eh " He might act like that for every woman, it's kind of a bit of a game sometimes to get what you want isn't it? We are all selfish creatures deep inside! But he might actually like you alot more and not have brought it up. Some people get freaked out if emotions get brought into things after all and maybe he worried bringing it up with you might have caused you to cut ties off! You just never know! | |||
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"I bin him why would you want to know who else he’s fucked " Loads of people do- they happily show their veris. | |||
"I bin him why would you want to know who else he’s fucked " People use veri to prove they're genuine, reliable etc. I don't show my meets for their privacy and tbf i only like meeting men who have verifications. It just threw me seeing a meet veri straight after mine like i was in some competition in others which threw me abit. I'm ok about things now, ok | |||
"I bin him why would you want to know who else he’s fucked People use veri to prove they're genuine, reliable etc. I don't show my meets for their privacy and tbf i only like meeting men who have verifications. It just threw me seeing a meet veri straight after mine like i was in some competition in others which threw me abit. I'm ok about things now, ok " I think you are trying to convince yourself. There are some gorgeous guys on Fab but they can meet women anywhere. If they are on Fab they are either in a marriage/relationship and use women here for extra sex or if they are genuinely single then they are here for no strings fun and sex. I think you should stick to one night stands or club visits only and forget about an fwb. | |||
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"Fab is a bit like a time share, when it's your turn, it's your private palace, but seeing a different family having their holiday photos posted on Trust Pilot or something, in the very same balcony and kitchen/ pool area, can feel a bit freaky. How would you react to that; as we can get emotionally attached and very territorial, without realising it?" I love this, its such a good way of thinking! | |||
"I bin him why would you want to know who else he’s fucked People use veri to prove they're genuine, reliable etc. I don't show my meets for their privacy and tbf i only like meeting men who have verifications. It just threw me seeing a meet veri straight after mine like i was in some competition in others which threw me abit. I'm ok about things now, ok " Perhaps write a story about it? | |||
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"Personally, I couldn’t be monogamous with anyone unless I was in love….. " What’s love got to do with it? | |||
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"Fab is a bit like a time share, when it's your turn, it's your private palace, but seeing a different family having their holiday photos posted on Trust Pilot or something, in the very same balcony and kitchen/ pool area, can feel a bit freaky. How would you react to that; as we can get emotionally attached and very territorial, without realising it?" It's like this more than what other people saying it's because I want mono relationship. I actually didn't want a relationship with him. Just freaked out reading about a woman whom he met after me saying exactly the same words as i was going to write. Yes I don't want to hear about his present sex life, it just turns me off than on. Like i wouldn't talk to a single guy on fab if he had loads of action shot photos with other women. But maybe forward thinking, block any guy I met in person and stick to one night stands. | |||
"Tell him how u feel hopeful he might feel the same " No it didn't work out like that in the end. We came to a good resolution and still friends | |||
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"Fab is a bit like a time share, when it's your turn, it's your private palace, but seeing a different family having their holiday photos posted on Trust Pilot or something, in the very same balcony and kitchen/ pool area, can feel a bit freaky. How would you react to that; as we can get emotionally attached and very territorial, without realising it? It's like this more than what other people saying it's because I want mono relationship. I actually didn't want a relationship with him. Just freaked out reading about a woman whom he met after me saying exactly the same words as i was going to write. Yes I don't want to hear about his present sex life, it just turns me off than on. Like i wouldn't talk to a single guy on fab if he had loads of action shot photos with other women. But maybe forward thinking, block any guy I met in person and stick to one night stands. " Are you the jealous type? If you slept with someone famous and saw their kiss and tell (think News of the World exclusives or Love Island interviews, how would it affect you? | |||