FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Really hard to meet couples.
Really hard to meet couples.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Is it just us or is it really hard to actually meet couples. We though we would have a lot more action.
Any advice for us?"
Yes it really is
Either you only find one of them attractive or they expect you respect their boundaries but don't want to respect yours
In my experience anyway |
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"Is it just us or is it really hard to actually meet couples. We though we would have a lot more action.
Any advice for us?"
You have really got to be quite pro active on this site. We often say that it is sometimes easier to get laid in a nunnery than it is on here. Perseveranter. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Agreed. When we first joined, we met with a few couples, we still have some couples lined up we want to meet but for us it’s managing our diary, busy personal lives and a family make it hard to make dates match with others
Oh and the attraction thing for us both, we don’t want to have to take one for the team |
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We'd echo what many others will say and say to go to a club. Inside there'll be many like minded people, you get to see what they actually look and sound like. On here there's a hell of a lot of profiles that aren't actually what they may seem, they just like to swap messages. |
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By *harAndBryCouple
over a year ago
Peterborough / Stamford |
"Is it just us or is it really hard to actually meet couples. We though we would have a lot more action.
Any advice for us?"
Being 100% honest, we'd not message you as you're super hot and way, way out of our league. I'm guessing we wouldn't be alone in thinking that, so that may well be reducing your incoming messages.
(Bry) |
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"Is it just us or is it really hard to actually meet couples. We though we would have a lot more action.
Any advice for us?
Being 100% honest, we'd not message you as you're super hot and way, way out of our league. I'm guessing we wouldn't be alone in thinking that, so that may well be reducing your incoming messages.
(Bry)"
That's a shame you think you're out of their "league"  |
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Once we decided we wanted to pursue this and what our boundaries are, we thought it would be fairly easy to arrange meeting people but actually it is quite hard! We love clubs but struggle with the socialising side of things (something we are working on!) so now we’re considering private meets as it may be an easier environment for us. We do really love clubs though and we always say we’ll arrange to meet people there but then the club’s busy so we don’t spot them or we don’t recognise people!
C x |
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By *issmorganWoman
over a year ago
Calderdale innit |
Deffo go to a club when you have a night/day free ops
I'm half a couple and we rarely find another couple to meet now on fab.
Im straight & most want bi fem play,plus you have to factor 4 way attraction and then availability of 4 people.
No wonder it's not so easy ,clubs you can see everyone ftf and have a drink and see where it goes. |
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By *harAndBryCouple
over a year ago
Peterborough / Stamford |
Throwing in our club experience with couples.....NIL.
We're not the most outgoing people and I really, really struggle with loud music and too much bustle. Most clubs seem too "nightclubby" for us, so we find it hard making conversation.
Add in our dynamic (I don't play with other women) and the fact that Char would like the female half of a couple to be bi and it makes it even harder - no less because bi people all look like straight people and we can't make ourselves ask the question 
We love clubs for giving Char the opportunity to play with three, four, more guys at once. But don't think we're cut out for finding couples at clubs.
We have, however, met a few at the social event we go to.
(Bry) |
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By *helroyCouple
over a year ago
Skegness |
"I can’t add anything. 4 way attraction difficult, diary synching extremely difficult."
We agree with you there so hard thats why we only do mfm or FMF but FMF are hard too as we both not bi |
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Most couples I meet tell me that it is very hard to meet couples as there has to be a four way attraction and that rarely happens. They all tell me it is easier to bring a single guy in as the attraction (generally speaking) only has to be between the wife and the guy. Being a single guy does have advantages sometimes |
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"I can’t add anything. 4 way attraction difficult, diary synching extremely difficult.
We agree with you there so hard thats why we only do mfm or FMF but FMF are hard too as we both not bi "
Oh to find an FMF  . We are both bi (but happy to play straight) |
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"Is it just us or is it really hard to actually meet couples. We though we would have a lot more action.
Any advice for us?"
‘Party powder’ is a massive turn off for us, maybe others may feel the same? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We agree with a lot of the comments above. Finding a 4 way attraction is hard. One of the key things for us is that everyone has to want to be there, and no "taking one for the team" add to that family and life commitments can make finding a mutually convenient date that works adds a layer of complexity to it all. Saying that, we have met some lovely couples, from on here and in clubs directly, so hang on in there. X |
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By *heGigglersCouple
over a year ago
Butlins Minehead (for the weekend) |
4 way attraction is very hard to find to be honest. We have found finding couples where we all click quite challenging, but it is amazing when that does finally happen, so don't give up.
Also, I find the "semi pro athlete and yoga instructor" bit, on top of all the talk of healthy lifestyle and even stating your weight very intimidating.
I think a lot of people will assume you are looking for people with similar body types and feel like they won't measure up, so why bother trying  |
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Your profile suggests you’ve had 4 meets in 11 months. A lot of busy couples would think that’s pretty good going so I guess it depends on your perspective.
However, I would say that your profile is fab and your verifications show you are great company.
So where do you guys think you’re going wrong?
Rob |
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By *he HMFsCouple
over a year ago
Stratford Upon Avon |
Yes, it's not easy for all the reasons stated above. We have the same issue, hardly get any messages and have virtually given up here. We find clubs a better place to meet other folk these days. As for OP, the party powder bit in your profile is likely to put off many, us included. Each to their own though. |
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"Is it just us or is it really hard to actually meet couples. We thought we would have a lot more action.
Any advice for us?"
Clubs but yes it's hard often couples are badly, matched (we have found) making it difficult as well.. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Is it just us or is it really hard to actually meet couples. We though we would have a lot more action.
Any advice for us?"
For us, we live in a rural part of the country so meeting up with anyone even just for a social will generally require an overnight stay. As we both have kids with previous partners, and work commitments etc, it’s actually so challenging getting diaries to match up. This is why we like to chat a bit before deciding whether or not to meet - our time is precious so we need to be as sure as we can that it’s going to be fun, even if it’s just a social. But I agree, you have to put a lot of effort in to finding the genuine people who are on the same wavelength as you
Mrs |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Yeah we’ve had the same challenge to be fair. Actually only really met a few couples over the past few years. Hardly prolific and it’s not for the want of trying!!  |
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"Is it just us or is it really hard to actually meet couples. We though we would have a lot more action.
Any advice for us?"
Our advice is to send us your phone number and tell us you're free tomorrow night |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We seem to find that if it's not an issue with all four of us liking what we see then it's the fact that the other couple have a different way of meeting.
We prefer to have a group chat so all four of us can flirt, show our personalities and tease each other. This can be for a week or three until all our diaries match up but other couples just want to meet and fuck without even swapping names etc.
Each to their own but I wish we could search with more filters to stop this happening so much.
G and P xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Is it just us or is it really hard to actually meet couples. We though we would have a lot more action.
Any advice for us?
Our advice is to send us your phone number and tell us you're free tomorrow night "
Haha what a brilliant response, all the stars go to…. |
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By *rmrs95Couple
over a year ago
Chester |
Agree with most of what others have said, which is why we tend to stick to just going to clubs and chatting to people ( and playing of course) at the venue, then become friends on here and meet up at clubs in future if everyone wants too ( never take one for the team ).  |
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We have to agree, it is very difficult to meet couples. We've been on this site for 18 months now and have only ever been to clubs. We really enjoy the social side, having a drink, flirting and good banter and yes we played with those we clicked with. All this can be done easily at a club.
But sadly going to clubs is getting very expensive. When you add the cost of hotel, drinks, entrance, petrol it all adds up.
Recently we decided to try and meet couples privately and it's so difficult. This Saturday we put a meet for a couple to go for a meal, drinks and see what happens. We've had many messages from couples who would like to come round after We've been out just for sex.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We were thinking of starting a similar thread. We decided to try and meet a couple about two months ago and thought it would be a lot easier than we've found it to be.
We have the same issue in that we find it extremely hard to find couples we are both attracted to.
We are pro active on here and put a lot of effort into messaging and chatting to other couples but most conversations tend to fizzle out pretty quickly. Mostly, it's after requesting face pics and realising it's not for us but we often speak to couples we are both interested in and we ask for a video chat so we can see how we get along. They often agree but never actually get around to arranging it or they go quiet.
We've been to clubs but they're often quiet, full of couples that have pre arranged to meet or there's no one we're attracted to.
We are going to persevere and are going to a social on Saturday night. We've been to a couple of these and met some lovely people that we've made fiends with but haven't met many couples. We are off to Abfab next week for the monthly social, will be going to Pleasures for their Christmas party and have got ourselves a ticket to the Bedhoppers event in Dunstable in Feb where there could be 100 couples.
We also have our very first meet with a couple this Sunday. We've had a social with them and had a couple of video calls. They're both lovely and we're attracted to them both. Fingers crossed that it will go well.
We are optimistic that we will find other couples to play with. It's just proved much harder than we expected.
If you're a couple, get in touch, we'd like to hear from you! |
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"Is it just us or is it really hard to actually meet couples. We though we would have a lot more action.
Any advice for us?
Our advice is to send us your phone number and tell us you're free tomorrow night "
Our advice if you 4 meet, take pics for the rest of us!!! |
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"We were thinking of starting a similar thread. We decided to try and meet a couple about two months ago and thought it would be a lot easier than we've found it to be.
We have the same issue in that we find it extremely hard to find couples we are both attracted to.
We messaged you two months ago hahahahahaha
We are pro active on here and put a lot of effort into messaging and chatting to other couples but most conversations tend to fizzle out pretty quickly. Mostly, it's after requesting face pics and realising it's not for us but we often speak to couples we are both interested in and we ask for a video chat so we can see how we get along. They often agree but never actually get around to arranging it or they go quiet.
We've been to clubs but they're often quiet, full of couples that have pre arranged to meet or there's no one we're attracted to.
We are going to persevere and are going to a social on Saturday night. We've been to a couple of these and met some lovely people that we've made fiends with but haven't met many couples. We are off to Abfab next week for the monthly social, will be going to Pleasures for their Christmas party and have got ourselves a ticket to the Bedhoppers event in Dunstable in Feb where there could be 100 couples.
We also have our very first meet with a couple this Sunday. We've had a social with them and had a couple of video calls. They're both lovely and we're attracted to them both. Fingers crossed that it will go well.
We are optimistic that we will find other couples to play with. It's just proved much harder than we expected.
If you're a couple, get in touch, we'd like to hear from you! "
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"Is it just us or is it really hard to actually meet couples. We though we would have a lot more action.
Any advice for us?
‘Party powder’ is a massive turn off for us, maybe others may feel the same?"
Thats patry powder friendly. Just like being alcohol friendly yet we don't drink. We have no problem with people wanting to use either at a meet we are accommodating like that. |
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"Most couples I meet tell me that it is very hard to meet couples as there has to be a four way attraction and that rarely happens. They all tell me it is easier to bring a single guy in as the attraction (generally speaking) only has to be between the wife and the guy. Being a single guy does have advantages sometimes "
Absolutely this...finding a 4 way thats equally what we all want is hard, taking one for the team is absolutely a no go, originally we found couples on here, a select few but these days (if time to meet) singles is our preference  |
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"Is it just us or is it really hard to actually meet couples. We though we would have a lot more action.
Any advice for us?
Our advice is to send us your phone number and tell us you're free tomorrow night "
And here is how the problems start. We are free Wednesday evenings and weekends. |
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"Hot looking couple and we probably wouldn't message because we are more than likely not what you're looking for. Definitely wouldn't message because of the "party powder". Straight no for us."
Thats patry powder friendly. Just like being alcohol friendly yet we don't drink. We have no problem with people wanting to use either at a meet we are accommodating like that. |
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"Is it just us or is it really hard to actually meet couples. We though we would have a lot more action.
Any advice for us?
Our advice is to send us your phone number and tell us you're free tomorrow night
Haha what a brilliant response, all the stars go to…."
Definitely looks like a 4some match... have fun guys |
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"‘Party powder’ is a massive turn off for us, maybe others may feel the same?
Thats patry powder friendly. Just like being alcohol friendly yet we don't drink. We have no problem with people wanting to use either at a meet we are accommodating like that. "
It’s the fact it’s exclusively mentioned that intimates you are using, you don’t say alcohol friendly or 420 friendly etc... No judgment really, most would probably like to try things if not for the negatives, but for sure we don’t want to be playing with someone who’s high.. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think it’s becoming harder and harder for every dynamic. (Maybe we all all uglier than we think we are…). That’s a joke By the way,
Maybe it’s just a lot busier. There’s a concept that it’s easier to choose an ice cream when you only have 3 choices. Chic, vanilla , strawberry. But we take a lot longer if the menu has 20 options. True story.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Couldn't agree more. They are the worst type of guys too. All our not so desirable meets have been with couples or males who sniff the shit. They can't seem to hold a conversation after and the sex just becomes a little vanilla and meh! |
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We tend to go for singles as a four way attraction is too difficult to find.
Then if the attraction is there we like to chat and get a ‘feel’ for everyone and generally only the guy will chat so we wonder how much the woman wants to meet.
There’s too many dynamics to get right, attraction, matching diaries, etc.
K
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You two look great but the ‘party powder’ comment would put us off contacting you.
Mentioning it suggests you partake too and we wouldn’t meet people who were on a different wavelength than us.
Someone being under the influence of drugs, too much drink could change their mind before, during or after and that would freak us out.
That could be a major factor of why you don’t get to meet as many you want.
K
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By *rpeggioCouple
over a year ago
Baughurst |
"Is it just us or is it really hard to actually meet couples. We though we would have a lot more action.
Any advice for us?
‘Party powder’ is a massive turn off for us, maybe others may feel the same?"
Yes, same for us, the party powder a turn off for us. That impedes the option of club meets because OP cannot use there. Plus OP declares 49 and 42 age, while set their limit age at 50. My suggestion would be to increase the age range a bit and decide based on their looks not their age, and delete the powder party friendly. Then raise it when chatting and decide if youd be willing to play with a couple without using it if they are not friendly. |
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By *InKentCouple
over a year ago
sittingbourne |
"Is it just us or is it really hard to actually meet couples. We though we would have a lot more action.
Any advice for us?
‘Party powder’ is a massive turn off for us, maybe others may feel the same?
Yes, same for us, the party powder a turn off for us. That impedes the option of club meets because OP cannot use there. Plus OP declares 49 and 42 age, while set their limit age at 50. My suggestion would be to increase the age range a bit and decide based on their looks not their age, and delete the powder party friendly. Then raise it when chatting and decide if youd be willing to play with a couple without using it if they are not friendly."
100% agree |
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"‘Party powder’ is a massive turn off for us, maybe others may feel the same?
Thats patry powder friendly. Just like being alcohol friendly yet we don't drink. We have no problem with people wanting to use either at a meet we are accommodating like that.
It’s the fact it’s exclusively mentioned that intimates you are using, you don’t say alcohol friendly or 420 friendly etc... No judgment really, most would probably like to try things if not for the negatives, but for sure we don’t want to be playing with someone who’s high.."
I am ranked 4th in the world with my sport discipline, I get piss tested every podium I get. Like I say we are party powder friendly......I can't say any more. |
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"You two look great but the ‘party powder’ comment would put us off contacting you.
Mentioning it suggests you partake too and we wouldn’t meet people who were on a different wavelength than us.
Someone being under the influence of drugs, too much drink could change their mind before, during or after and that would freak us out.
That could be a major factor of why you don’t get to meet as many you want.
K
"
Hey, yeah I have explained this. Feel free to check the other reply I have sent. Its not that pur profile does not get attention, far from it. When we are only free Wednesday evening, others can only do Thursdays etc. If only I could show you the screen shots of people saying they like the "party powder honesty". It's all good though. |
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"Is it just us or is it really hard to actually meet couples. We though we would have a lot more action.
Any advice for us?
‘Party powder’ is a massive turn off for us, maybe others may feel the same?
Yes, same for us, the party powder a turn off for us. That impedes the option of club meets because OP cannot use there. Plus OP declares 49 and 42 age, while set their limit age at 50. My suggestion would be to increase the age range a bit and decide based on their looks not their age, and delete the powder party friendly. Then raise it when chatting and decide if youd be willing to play with a couple without using it if they are not friendly."
Can't explain this all again. Please read some of the replies to the "party powder". Again, it's not that our profile does not get attention....its just super hard to get 4 people with the same days off and then adding 4 people that fancy each other. That the gripe. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Yes myself and my partner have a nightmare with this! Either the 4 way attraction isn't there and you can't have someone take one for the team as previously said or it turns out to be some guy pretending he's a couple which is very annoying! It's a minefield out there but once you find a few good ones it's good. |
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"Yes myself and my partner have a nightmare with this! Either the 4 way attraction isn't there and you can't have someone take one for the team as previously said or it turns out to be some guy pretending he's a couple which is very annoying! It's a minefield out there but once you find a few good ones it's good."
I feel you , pal. We have had a few of the single guys pretending to be in a relationship then a hour or two before the next it's like " we'll, the missus is sick but I can still join you". |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yes myself and my partner have a nightmare with this! Either the 4 way attraction isn't there and you can't have someone take one for the team as previously said or it turns out to be some guy pretending he's a couple which is very annoying! It's a minefield out there but once you find a few good ones it's good.
I feel you , pal. We have had a few of the single guys pretending to be in a relationship then a hour or two before the next it's like " we'll, the missus is sick but I can still join you"."
The one we've had a few times 'she's just had an operation, so isn't playing at the moment'
We've also had a guy pretending to be his wife arranging a meet on his behalf |
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"Is it just us or is it really hard to actually meet couples. We though we would have a lot more action.
Any advice for us?"
As a single male I was a little envious of couples and thought how easy it was to swap with a couple. A couple of months later I was I a fwb relationship and my god it was difficult, a lot of fakes and timewasters
Think with been in a couple there’s 4 people to please and that’s difficult
Now I’m single again I have met some lovely couples and much easier to get along with
Good luck op p.s very sexy pics x |
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"Yes myself and my partner have a nightmare with this! Either the 4 way attraction isn't there and you can't have someone take one for the team as previously said or it turns out to be some guy pretending he's a couple which is very annoying! It's a minefield out there but once you find a few good ones it's good.
I feel you , pal. We have had a few of the single guys pretending to be in a relationship then a hour or two before the next it's like " we'll, the missus is sick but I can still join you".
The one we've had a few times 'she's just had an operation, so isn't playing at the moment'
We've also had a guy pretending to be his wife arranging a meet on his behalf "
Oh shit. As you said that, we have also had the woman trying to arrange for her husband. It was never going to happen but only realised now. |
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It’s definitely hard to find meets on here we have had much more luck at clubs and when we first started our journey we only wanted to meet at clubs.
But now confidence has grown we are as happy having people round ours for a meet.
We thought that would make it easier to meet but hasn’t, so back to the club again we go x |
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"Any advice for us?"
Many people giving the same advice, but no - it’s not that! Just can’t get our days sorted
If it’s no big deal then delete the party power nonsense and you will attract more people, therefore increasing the chance of meeting people who can meet on your required days and you all click with.
You did ask for advice! xx |
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"Is it just us or is it really hard to actually meet couples. We though we would have a lot more action.
Any advice for us?"
It is harder to meet cpls. We been messed around by more cpls than singles. |
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It's really hard. Four-way connection is difficult. Even as a straight male couple the guy being right for both of us is just as important as us both fancying the tits off the lady. There often seems to be a tendency to think the guy in a couple isn't so important, but he is. Mrs needs to fancy both. Mr needs to fancy the lady and also know he'll work great with the guy and that guy will work well for Mrs. So naturally getting the right Four-way chemistry will always be hit and miss. Especially when everyone's characters are different. I think as couples we sometimes find it difficult that people may not fancy our other halves (even if they fancy us). But then others aren't looking for the relationship qualities we see in them or get to see them like we do.
Although having said that we surprisingly find the hardest thing to be finding a male for MFM over couples and single women.
As for practical advice don't have any to increase your pool of potential couples. Only advise to save wasting time, energy and money on your quest. We find you never can gauge if the magic is there until you meet face to face all together. We don't really do meets. We tend to stick to clubs. You can use them for Swimger speed dating and we've met some great couples and made good friends this way. Also if your specifically looking for couples, couples nights are a good choice. If you are arranging meets online I'd suggest a video call with all four of you to gauge the chemistry before you commit to a meet in person. That way you may avoid wasting time, energy, money and possibly precious access to child care. |
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