FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Does the lady in the couple really enjoy swinging??
Does the lady in the couple really enjoy swinging??
Jump to: Newest in thread
 |
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I preferred having a couples profile to be honest. Felt safer, and I enjoyed the build up with chatting beforehand both with another cpl, and between ourselves. Throw in the voyeurism during a meet and it was beyond lovely  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Well I'm staying at home tonight looking after the kids while she goes out, so I guess she does.
It's a great question though, and one we talk about often. We are very fortunate that we met on here, we've never had a traditional relationship, so we never have that niggling doubt of "are you just entertaining my perverted ideas". I am not sure I could be 100% comfortable in a vanilla relationship turned swingers, as I think you'd always be questioning things.
Just my thoughts though. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *eaSlutsCouple
over a year ago
Glasgow |
We had the opposite experience of another couple the last time we visited a club.
We got speaking to the couple and within minutes, it was crystal clear that F wanted to be there but M absolutely did not. It wasn't explicitly said but there was no mistaking the energy/vibe that was there.
We decided to thank them for a good chat and then spoke to others for the rest of the night.
C x
  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Well without going into detail but the way C goes 100% into every meet and doesn’t hold back whether it be male or female then I’d say she loves it 
I wouldn’t be doing this if it was solely for my benefit at all…seeing C enjoying herself is the sexiest sight.
K |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Met both... Couples where F seems thoroughly uninterested, and also where the F was going hard to meet solo & the M was feeling its gone way beyond original agreement. Played with neither. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *issmorganWoman
over a year ago
Calderdale innit |
Some may do it for their partners ,I can only speak for me
I met my partner here 7 years ago and we decided we both wanted to carry on this lifestyle .
We rarely use our joint profile much ,its easier to go to a club if we want a meet together.
I'd never do anything I didn't want to just to make my other half happy and he wouldn't expect me to.That goes both ways too. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Or does she just go along with her partner to keep him happy?
Curious."
That would be forcing her into it and quite weird if you made your wife do it against her will |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago
Dubai & Nottingham |
"Or does she just go along with her partner to keep him happy?
Curious."
Often the other way around actually, older guys having lower sex drives than wifey. Maybe with younger couples it’s the other way around? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
It was my idea to start swinging (Mrs) and I run the FAB account but we equally enjoy the thrill of this adventure. Neither of us would agree to a meet (social or naughty) if we though the other wasn’t 100% happy. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Like anything in life there's a real mix, lots of couples where one of them is much more involved and enjoying it than the other, we see it a lot in clubs...
BUT for us, vix enjoys is just as much, if not more than hound... hes mostly there for my enjoyment  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Or does she just go along with her partner to keep him happy?
Curious."
If you think that may be the case wouldn’t you be taking advantage of the situation?
You haven’t thought this through. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Or does she just go along with her partner to keep him happy?
Curious."
We have seen this on more than one occasion, where it has actually backfired on the male. She has initially just gone along with it, but then discovered she liked it. In fact the male has created a monster. She enjoyed it more than he was anticipating and he wasn`t happy with what he created.
There`s no putting the genie back in the bottle after this. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Or does she just go along with her partner to keep him happy?
Curious.
We have seen this on more than one occasion, where it has actually backfired on the male. She has initially just gone along with it, but then discovered she liked it. In fact the male has created a monster. She enjoyed it more than he was anticipating and he wasn`t happy with what he created.
There`s no putting the genie back in the bottle after this."
Open Pandoras Box |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *anny Boy31Man
over a year ago
Belfast all over the Uk and Ireland |
I had a meet where the lady definitely was going against her Will so I just made my excuses and split.
I think 95% of women are into it and if any half decent man thought otherwise he would call it off by putting the blame on himself in case it could cause issues between the couple |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Can honestly say that it was a 60/40 decision with hub being the 60% but I really am excited by it all I just wish that people would read our profile instead of the random friend requests as blocking them all is a shame as there were some fantastic chances in them but they wasted there chance. Anyway we are both very involved with our profile and very keen to explore |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Or does she just go along with her partner to keep him happy?
Curious."
I've met plenty that just go along with it in couples.. male and female but it's not a long term thing.. something will inevitably give..
Plenty of women however are the driving force behind a couples swinging life .. so yes many do. I loved sharing my ex with other women and playing while he watched.. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Wife here, we are both very much into the lifestyle and both thoroughly enjoy it! We never go further with a meet unless we are both 100% in agreement. Hubby tends to do all the chatting on here, but final say tends to come down to me whether it's yes or no.  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
We are in to swinging as a lifestyle and not just the sex alone. We have both played before we met and after a few months we just started talking about swinging as a cpl and here we are  . Some will just go along with it for the other partners sake but you can tell that even from just chatting in a social meeting with them. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Hotwives are the ultimate … the best … sexy, passionate and in total control x
They are to be treated with respect, consideration, shown desire and most of all pleased …
Thank you to the generous Husbands to share such an amazing experience… letting their sexy Hotwives taste,swallow and enjoy new cock
Love Hotwives x ?? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
We are here because of her!
She loves it, she comes out her shell and turns into some sex goddess.
It's weird because she is so quiet in our vanilla life, but get her in a swingers club, it's like she becomes another person and the real her comes out |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Well without going into detail but the way C goes 100% into every meet and doesn’t hold back whether it be male or female then I’d say she loves it
I wouldn’t be doing this if it was solely for my benefit at all…seeing C enjoying herself is the sexiest sight.
K"
This. I think in most cases, women decide the power dynamic. But we all know narcissists and sociopaths who manipulate people into acquiescence |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I love it for me, and for us but certainly not to please anyone but myself - never coerced into anything
I do get what you’re saying though, met a few women who look bored with it, not horny at all and who spoil the dynamic
It’s very difficult to get 4 people to click |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I have only ever met one couple where I thought she didn’t want to be there - she got very d*unk on a social and I made my excuses and left because it didn’t feel right.
Every other meet, it is safe to say, the wife was more than a willing partner
I always ask why couples get into it and almost universally I am told that it is because she enjoys the liberation of doing what she wants to and he enjoys watching her. Wives can definitely make up their own minds in my experience. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
With one meet we had chatted on the internet and had arranged a meet. One thing we always do before committing is to get the ladies to talk on the phone. (Believe it or not there are fakes out there).
As my wife was chatting to the other woman she started crying saying she only did it because he wanted to.
We cancelled before the date to make it look like it was us cancelling and not because his partner was just going along.
So yes, some women do just go along with it but I suspect some men may do the same. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I constantly ask Lucy if she’s having fun for me or for us and she answers if she didn’t like it she wouldn’t do it, she’s currently away in the canaries at the moment without me and she’s arranged a social for this afternoon so I guess she loves it lol, ( we all know it won’t just be a social though ) x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
For us, it’s always been about the two of us playing as a couple. We won’t do solo meets or play in separate rooms. Mrs Lpool loves the flirting with others on the build up to a meet and our reclaim sex, after a meet, is always the best. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I preferred having a couples profile to be honest. Felt safer, and I enjoyed the build up with chatting beforehand both with another cpl, and between ourselves. Throw in the voyeurism during a meet and it was beyond lovely "
Exactly how I felt (when with my ex). I'm was (still am) always conscience of the safety issue. I'd love to find a women who was interested in building trust then further experience threesomes, foursome and moresomes...alas... |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
We love it equally I love watch wifey being pleasured as much as I enjoy receiving it so works well for us and reclaiming your wife after any meet is amazing for both.. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I play lots more than my hubby because it really makes me happy
If you play without really wanting to just to make someone happy in my opinion there is something wrong in your relationship
Just my opinion pls don't bite my head off |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Or does she just go along with her partner to keep him happy?
Curious."
I’ve always been curious about sex and my sexuality, and it’s all been very vanilla for me until I met J, and realised that we both wanted to explore the whole swinging/ethical non-monogamy thing together. Finally I now know that there’s nothing wrong with me - there’s a whole world out there that I just never knew existed. For the relationship to work there has to be mutual trust, mutual respect and open communication. If one partner is being coerced into swinging, that’s not right
Mrs |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *ussraneCouple
over a year ago
Romford |
"Or does she just go along with her partner to keep him happy?
Curious.
I’ve always been curious about sex and my sexuality, and it’s all been very vanilla for me until I met J, and realised that we both wanted to explore the whole swinging/ethical non-monogamy thing together. Finally I now know that there’s nothing wrong with me - there’s a whole world out there that I just never knew existed. For the relationship to work there has to be mutual trust, mutual respect and open communication. If one partner is being coerced into swinging, that’s not right
Mrs"
DITTO ! This is us to a tee, perfectly said |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *euve4usCouple
over a year ago
Teddington |
Definitely a joint thing for us. Both access Fab and agree on play partners. Equally we agree when we both want to play without any pressure on one or the other. Our own relationship is the most important one. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I met a couple a few yrs ago and I could clearly see that the lady looked uncomfortable and was being pressured into it by her partner. I let the guy know that I didn’t think she was comfortable and I left. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Or does she just go along with her partner to keep him happy?
Curious."
Lol Cherry is the one who got me into swinging  . We've met others though where one is clearly under pressure (usually the woman but in one case the man !) |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *iercedCplCouple
over a year ago
Greater Manchester |
Definitely not for male led for us, it was Mrs P that started the conversation about swinging and introduced me to fab. She doesn't come on fab as much now, because fab annoys her, but swinging very much 50/50 for us, we both love it.
Mr P
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Interesting thread. From chatting, and looking around on here it is clear that many profiles are male-led [or indeed, entirely male, with an oblivious, or non-existent partner!],but that said, many couples profiles are female-led, and many are equal. From my [the male] perspective, I don't believe that Mrs Vanilla-sin does anything for me, and I make sure that I allow her to suggest any possible meet, or club visit, so that way I feel sure that she wants to do it. We also regularly check in and make sure that we both know that we are happy. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Only play when it’s clear that all parties are into it. grim otherwise.
Have walked from meets where it’s been clearly one party not wanting it, consent is essential and enthusiasm needed to add pizazz.
Couldn’t imagine being able to go through with it without that. X |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *iercedCplCouple
over a year ago
Greater Manchester |
"Only play when it’s clear that all parties are into it. grim otherwise.
Have walked from meets where it’s been clearly one party not wanting it, consent is essential and enthusiasm needed to add pizazz.
Couldn’t imagine being able to go through with it without that. X"
Misread that as pizza, pizza does makes everything better! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Only play when it’s clear that all parties are into it. grim otherwise.
Have walked from meets where it’s been clearly one party not wanting it, consent is essential and enthusiasm needed to add pizazz.
Couldn’t imagine being able to go through with it without that. X"
Good to see morals still exist. X |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Only play when it’s clear that all parties are into it. grim otherwise.
Have walked from meets where it’s been clearly one party not wanting it, consent is essential and enthusiasm needed to add pizazz.
Couldn’t imagine being able to go through with it without that. X
Misread that as pizza, pizza does makes everything better! "
Well of course, can you imagine no pizzas? Makes me shudder.
(And the pineapple is supporting my swinging…) |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Only play when it’s clear that all parties are into it. grim otherwise.
Have walked from meets where it’s been clearly one party not wanting it, consent is essential and enthusiasm needed to add pizazz.
Couldn’t imagine being able to go through with it without that. X
Good to see morals still exist. X"
Absolutely essential. Can you imagine how much the alternatives would prey on your mind? Standards and morals are the foundations on which filthy fun and sexy memories are built!  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Whilst it was Mr NH who suggested exploring this area of our lives, I really enjoy the liberation of the lifestyle and having a secret adventure. I wish I could devote more time to thinking about it and socialising on here. Organisational tasks in a vanilla world, both work and home, often fill my head.
We definitely both have to be happy with the couple we talk to and meet and ensure their boundaries match ours at that time in order to progress things to where we can all have fun. Some meets he will enjoy more, some meets I’ll get more from them but with our agreed dynamic, we’d both come away if we felt it wasn’t right and unsettled/upset either of us. Who knows where the adventures will lead…. Mrs SW |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
We both enjoy immensely. We have met where the woman is doing it for the man or visa versa. Its very easy to tell. Jealousy comes up and has ended in arguments. Do it coz you both want to, then it's wonderful. Fantasy is one thing reality can feel very different. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Well without going into detail but the way C goes 100% into every meet and doesn’t hold back whether it be male or female then I’d say she loves it
I wouldn’t be doing this if it was solely for my benefit at all…seeing C enjoying herself is the sexiest sight.
K"
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Many years ago, I walked out of a meet, when it was clear that the wife wasn't happy being part of a swinging couple.
Some men browbeat their partner into "trying it"."
But also the other way around. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Or does she just go along with her partner to keep him happy?
Curious.
In my experience its normally the guy who initiates it but usually the woman who enjoys it more longer term."
I think this will be the case with us! - Xeno |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *andb69Couple
over a year ago
leeds |
"Or does she just go along with her partner to keep him happy?
Curious."
Why should she enjoy swinging any less than her partner enjoys it? Seems like the sort of question someone might have asked 50 years ago. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Only play when it’s clear that all parties are into it. grim otherwise.
Have walked from meets where it’s been clearly one party not wanting it, consent is essential and enthusiasm needed to add pizazz.
Couldn’t imagine being able to go through with it without that. X"
No we couldn’t go through with anything if it wasn’t obvious the other couple weren’t both up for it
Mrs |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Or does she just go along with her partner to keep him happy?
Curious.
Why should she enjoy swinging any less than her partner enjoys it? Seems like the sort of question someone might have asked 50 years ago."
I thought the same, but then thought... Given the ratio of men to women on here it seems a perfectly reasonable question.
So many men on here who are asking how to get their partners into this. We meet a surprising amount of people in clubs who've never heard of fab, so I think it's a fairly balanced question. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Or does she just go along with her partner to keep him happy?
Curious."
Usually it's the lady who is strong and confident as a "sociable" sexual type and the guy is the sensitive shy timid often too-nervous-to-participate one.
eg. one partner - where every other guy wanted to go second - or later! - we had to send him in first with both ladies (which suited the rest of us males just fine  ) |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Or does she just go along with her partner to keep him happy?
Curious."
You want to explain what you mean when we have a lady at a swinging venue who has left her children with her husband and come out to have some fun in proportion to her sexual appetite and what she has done as a sexual being?
I'm not getting the point ?! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *icknHMan
over a year ago
Ilfracombe |
I met a lady as a single who’d split up from her hubby. He’d insisted on taking her to clubs and she liked it a lot more than he was comfortable with. Found out what she’d been missing etc
Careful what you wish for…. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I met a lady as a single who’d split up from her hubby. He’d insisted on taking her to clubs and she liked it a lot more than he was comfortable with. Found out what she’d been missing etc
Careful what you wish for…."
That is a bit of a concern to be honest |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *irginieWoman
over a year ago
Near Marlborough |
When I was in a couple. Yes I did. Why wouldn’t “the lady” enjoy it any more or less than either half of a couple. Strange to think that it might just be the women being led into things we are not happy with.
V x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Should do she initiated the whole thing, I of course was dragged in kick and screaming......still love that special buzz of the preperation and build up to the meetings from socials to clubs and of course the play meets!! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I've not been in a club and ever thought a particular lady was not enjoying herself tbh"
There's always pissed up women in clubs. Drinking to take away the horrible feeling they have about not wanting to be there. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I've not been in a club and ever thought a particular lady was not enjoying herself tbh
There's always pissed up women in clubs. Drinking to take away the horrible feeling they have about not wanting to be there."
We never play with people who are obviously pissed, gene5rally though I've found that the women are "usually" having a load of fun and in charge of the swinging.
Cal |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"We had the opposite experience of another couple the last time we visited a club.
We got speaking to the couple and within minutes, it was crystal clear that F wanted to be there but M absolutely did not. It wasn't explicitly said but there was no mistaking the energy/vibe that was there.
We decided to thank them for a good chat and then spoke to others for the rest of the night.
C x
"
We have met a number of couples in clubs where it's clear the male doesn't want to be there and has been dragged along and just doing it to keep his Mrs happy.
It certainly goes both ways.
KJ |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I've not been in a club and ever thought a particular lady was not enjoying herself tbh
There's always pissed up women in clubs. Drinking to take away the horrible feeling they have about not wanting to be there.
We never play with people who are obviously pissed, gene5rally though I've found that the women are "usually" having a load of fun and in charge of the swinging.
Cal "
Sometimes it's the man who doesn't want to be there. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *ooDeNimMan
over a year ago
Nuneaton, also London and Wiltshire |
It is immediately apparent if one or other partner in a couple is not as enthusiastic as the other. For me, that’s a red flag. If I get a sense that either partner is just there to please the other, rather than because they want to be there because they both enjoy it, then it’s a no from me. There’s no authenticity in that.
It also makes me immediately consider consent. If I’m questioning that in my mind then there is no chance that I’ll engage in anything. It’s just not right.
I have, in the past, politely removed myself from a conversation or a meet if I’ve felt that either partner isn’t in to it.
I think the most important aspect of being a single guy engaging with a couple is to understand their relationship dynamic, what they both enjoy, what they both want, and then working out how to best contribute to that, taking in to account everybody’s needs and enthusiasms, without undermining or marginalising anyone. One of the key things within this is understanding why they got in to it in the first place. As I said, it’s always immediately apparent if something isn’t quite right. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
» Add a new message to this topic
