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Ladies do you like being dominated?

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago

Enjoy being submissive or you do you like being dominant ?

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By *ustBoWoman  over a year ago

Somewhere in Co. Down

I'm neither

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Nope neither

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago

Neither? So you don't like being spoken to dirty or told what to do etc or you don't like being in control? Just in-between?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I'd say I'm 70% sub 30% switch. But only switch or sub for certain people. I can play vanilla no problem, it's just not as satisfying deep down.

Even if I'm switching, it's an extension of my sub side. I love to please and serve. So switching to domme my guy would be to fulfil and serve a need of his which in turn satisfies my need to serve him. I don't get pleasure purely from domme'ing random people.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Neither? So you don't like being spoken to dirty or told what to do etc or you don't like being in control? Just in-between?"

Being spoken to ‘dirty’ isn’t being dominated or submissive it’s a preference during sex

Go with the flow so both can enjoy

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"Neither? So you don't like being spoken to dirty or told what to do etc or you don't like being in control? Just in-between?

Being spoken to ‘dirty’ isn’t being dominated or submissive it’s a preference during sex

Go with the flow so both can enjoy "

What do you class as being dominated? I class it as a women being told what to do and pleasing the guy so to speak and spoken to in a manner. Maybe others see it differently. bdsm some people say is dominated etc

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By *otwife and MasterCouple  over a year ago

Derby

I have quite a responsible job so when I’m off duty I love nothing more than to give up total control and be dominated.

This can only happen with my partner, who I trust completely and he knows what I like.

I’m a Primal Sub, so like nothing more than to be held down or roped up and used.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I like to be in charge and dictating the action. I will switch as in I will top and bottom, but I’m always in control of what’s going on. For example, I enjoy some acts which people think of as “submissive”, but no act is inherently submissive - it’s always contextual. So if I order a guy to pull my hair, I’m bottoming (receiving the action) but I’m still in control because I’ve ordered him to do it.

The labels are vague and confusing, and people define them differently, so I always make sure to have a conversation with a guy so we’re on the same page.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I'd say I'm 70% sub 30% switch. But only switch or sub for certain people. I can play vanilla no problem, it's just not as satisfying deep down.

Even if I'm switching, it's an extension of my sub side. I love to please and serve. So switching to domme my guy would be to fulfil and serve a need of his which in turn satisfies my need to serve him. I don't get pleasure purely from domme'ing random people."

I’ve seen the latter thing you describe called Service Topping - you’re topping as a service for the dominant.

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By *ockmadmilfWoman  over a year ago

tredegar

Indeed i do,but most guys cannot dom tidy that the only problem

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By *riel13Woman  over a year ago

Northampton

No! Nope! No thanks! Neither but definitely, never submissive

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I'd say I'm 70% sub 30% switch. But only switch or sub for certain people. I can play vanilla no problem, it's just not as satisfying deep down.

Even if I'm switching, it's an extension of my sub side. I love to please and serve. So switching to domme my guy would be to fulfil and serve a need of his which in turn satisfies my need to serve him. I don't get pleasure purely from domme'ing random people.

I’ve seen the latter thing you describe called Service Topping - you’re topping as a service for the dominant. "

yes, thank you

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By *uliette500Woman  over a year ago

Hull

There is a big difference between a submissive personality and a D/s dynamic.

True domination and submission are much more than being told what to do and doing it.

It is a mindset and normally part of a dynamic built on consent and trust.

I am submissive to a point with all men in that I don't enjoy taking control and am happy for the man to 'suggest' what to do but I will say no if I don't want to do what is suggested, he doesnt get to order me to do things and it is not an invitation to do whatever he likes and get exactly what he wants.

With my Dom it is very different and we have certain types of play or scenes that I would never do with anyone else. He does get to tell me what to do and fully expects me to do it. It's is part of our relationship and I do (normally) follow his instructions without question.

A lot on here don't get it and think they can message me giving me orders because it says I'm submissive. They then get angry and annoyed when I say no.

My point is yes I have a submissive nature but guys on here are not my Dom.

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By *phroditeWoman  over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland


"There is a big difference between a submissive personality and a D/s dynamic.

True domination and submission are much more than being told what to do and doing it.

It is a mindset and normally part of a dynamic built on consent and trust.

I am submissive to a point with all men in that I don't enjoy taking control and am happy for the man to 'suggest' what to do but I will say no if I don't want to do what is suggested, he doesnt get to order me to do things and it is not an invitation to do whatever he likes and get exactly what he wants.

With my Dom it is very different and we have certain types of play or scenes that I would never do with anyone else. He does get to tell me what to do and fully expects me to do it. It's is part of our relationship and I do (normally) follow his instructions without question.

A lot on here don't get it and think they can message me giving me orders because it says I'm submissive. They then get angry and annoyed when I say no.

My point is yes I have a submissive nature but guys on here are not my Dom.

"

I understand what you have described here, and it resonates to a degree although I am not really submissive.

For me the clue lies in the authenticity of the person who is doing the dom/me. If I sensed it was a not truly them, but something they do to get close to me, it would be an instant (and forever) turn off. Does that make sense?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I'm a sadist. I see that the S&M are slowing being filtered of BDSM. It's harder to find true masochists these days and rare that any that are under 30.

As a sadist I get sexual pleasure from inflicting pain. The harder I get to play the more pleasurable it is for me. Yes I can cum from such actions. Sadly I have not had any serious sessions since before Covid.

I started my journey as a masochist but found too many people wanted someone submissive who would follow orders. I don't have a submissive bone in my body.

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By *uliette500Woman  over a year ago

Hull


"There is a big difference between a submissive personality and a D/s dynamic.

True domination and submission are much more than being told what to do and doing it.

It is a mindset and normally part of a dynamic built on consent and trust.

I am submissive to a point with all men in that I don't enjoy taking control and am happy for the man to 'suggest' what to do but I will say no if I don't want to do what is suggested, he doesnt get to order me to do things and it is not an invitation to do whatever he likes and get exactly what he wants.

With my Dom it is very different and we have certain types of play or scenes that I would never do with anyone else. He does get to tell me what to do and fully expects me to do it. It's is part of our relationship and I do (normally) follow his instructions without question.

A lot on here don't get it and think they can message me giving me orders because it says I'm submissive. They then get angry and annoyed when I say no.

My point is yes I have a submissive nature but guys on here are not my Dom.

I understand what you have described here, and it resonates to a degree although I am not really submissive.

For me the clue lies in the authenticity of the person who is doing the dom/me. If I sensed it was a not truly them, but something they do to get close to me, it would be an instant (and forever) turn off. Does that make sense? "

That absolutely makes sense.

We are all different how we view thos but too many out there (especially on here) say they are Dom without really understanding that being dominant is really something in their own nature. They think saying they are Dom gives them permission to order women about and do whatever they wish to meet their own needs.

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By *amierebelMan  over a year ago

My own little world

Is it not actually a submissive that has the control really as all sexual acts are or should be consensual

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By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple  over a year ago

Leeds

Neither really, now and again I do enjoy tieing up the Mr and taking full advantage, but sub/Dom isn't really for me.

Mrs

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"There is a big difference between a submissive personality and a D/s dynamic.

True domination and submission are much more than being told what to do and doing it.

It is a mindset and normally part of a dynamic built on consent and trust.

I am submissive to a point with all men in that I don't enjoy taking control and am happy for the man to 'suggest' what to do but I will say no if I don't want to do what is suggested, he doesnt get to order me to do things and it is not an invitation to do whatever he likes and get exactly what he wants.

With my Dom it is very different and we have certain types of play or scenes that I would never do with anyone else. He does get to tell me what to do and fully expects me to do it. It's is part of our relationship and I do (normally) follow his instructions without question.

A lot on here don't get it and think they can message me giving me orders because it says I'm submissive. They then get angry and annoyed when I say no.

My point is yes I have a submissive nature but guys on here are not my Dom.

I understand what you have described here, and it resonates to a degree although I am not really submissive.

For me the clue lies in the authenticity of the person who is doing the dom/me. If I sensed it was a not truly them, but something they do to get close to me, it would be an instant (and forever) turn off. Does that make sense?

That absolutely makes sense.

We are all different how we view thos but too many out there (especially on here) say they are Dom without really understanding that being dominant is really something in their own nature. They think saying they are Dom gives them permission to order women about and do whatever they wish to meet their own needs. "

^^ exactly, it's not a simple disposable sex game it's a personality type and goes much deeper

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Proper Dom sub dynamics are alot of work!

Think OP was just wondering if girls liked the man to be in control and rough sex basically right?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Proper Dom sub dynamics are alot of work!

Think OP was just wondering if girls liked the man to be in control and rough sex basically right?"

Probably, and tbh that’s why I avoid men who say they’re “dom” because what they usually mean is that they want to slap you about a bit etc.

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By *uliette500Woman  over a year ago

Hull


"Is it not actually a submissive that has the control really as all sexual acts are or should be consensual "

A D/s dynamic is always consensual. It is actually more a power exchange and either party can withdraw that consent at any point.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Proper Dom sub dynamics are alot of work!

Think OP was just wondering if girls liked the man to be in control and rough sex basically right?

Probably, and tbh that’s why I avoid men who say they’re “dom” because what they usually mean is that they want to slap you about a bit etc. "

Yeah, I think if they say they are dominant thats fair...I usually like to be more dominant but that doesn't mean I want to do anything at all they don't want to do obviously. In the most basic sense it just means I like to be in control and not gagged chained to a bed haha

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By *viatrixWoman  over a year ago

Redhill

[Removed by poster at 01/11/22 10:11:15]

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By *viatrixWoman  over a year ago

Redhill

My sexual partner and I are always equals.

The dominant/submissive scenario is one of my biggest turnoffs. Never for me.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Talking of labels and the misunderstanding of them, I often get men telling me they want to be “submissive” when they mean they want to be penetrated. Which is not the same thing at all!

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Im submissive leaning. Can't do dominant stuff.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Talking of labels and the misunderstanding of them, I often get men telling me they want to be “submissive” when they mean they want to be penetrated. Which is not the same thing at all! "

Exactly! That's just wanting to be pegged and there's Dom's that control their subs to do that for them.

I get why people get confused but it only takes a little research!

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Is it not actually a submissive that has the control really as all sexual acts are or should be consensual

A D/s dynamic is always consensual. It is actually more a power exchange and either party can withdraw that consent at any point. "

^^ agreed.

What people often think is that the Dom TAKES control whereas in fact he earns the respect of the Sub and they choose to GIVE control.

As was said above, either party can adjust their choices or stop play at any time, perhaps through safe words like the traffic light system for a pause, a check-in, or a halt.

So all have power and all control the play to the level they are comfortable with.

TPE Total Power Exchange is a different animal altogether but is (or should be) agreed in advance so again, control is shared.

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By *parkle1974Woman  over a year ago

Leeds

I'm too headstrong to be submissive. That kind of play turns me off x

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By *ohn KanakaMan  over a year ago

Not all that North of North London


"Neither? So you don't like being spoken to dirty or told what to do etc or you don't like being in control? Just in-between?

Being spoken to ‘dirty’ isn’t being dominated or submissive it’s a preference during sex

Go with the flow so both can enjoy

What do you class as being dominated? I class it as a women being told what to do and pleasing the guy so to speak and spoken to in a manner. Maybe others see it differently. bdsm some people say is dominated etc "

I wouldn't call that Domination, ceryainly not in isolation

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By *ohn KanakaMan  over a year ago

Not all that North of North London


"Is it not actually a submissive that has the control really as all sexual acts are or should be consensual

A D/s dynamic is always consensual. It is actually more a power exchange and either party can withdraw that consent at any point. "

This

A good D/s dynamic is born out of trust, good communication and kinks and preferences that align. Both parties are integral to achieving that.

I'd run a mile from a sub that can't or won't express preferences or even worse proclaims that they have no limits

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Neither? So you don't like being spoken to dirty or told what to do etc or you don't like being in control? Just in-between?

Being spoken to ‘dirty’ isn’t being dominated or submissive it’s a preference during sex

Go with the flow so both can enjoy

What do you class as being dominated? I class it as a women being told what to do and pleasing the guy so to speak and spoken to in a manner. Maybe others see it differently. bdsm some people say is dominated etc

I wouldn't call that Domination, ceryainly not in isolation"

You might be surprised to learn that a genuine Dom won't use the stereotypical way of speaking or bossing about.

A real & true Dom has no need.

A look or a gesture can be sufficient.

Communication in this way is so hot, the best part really, so intimate, unspoken, intuitive. Love it, the connection and the intensity

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By *ohn KanakaMan  over a year ago

Not all that North of North London


"Neither? So you don't like being spoken to dirty or told what to do etc or you don't like being in control? Just in-between?

Being spoken to ‘dirty’ isn’t being dominated or submissive it’s a preference during sex

Go with the flow so both can enjoy

What do you class as being dominated? I class it as a women being told what to do and pleasing the guy so to speak and spoken to in a manner. Maybe others see it differently. bdsm some people say is dominated etc

I wouldn't call that Domination, ceryainly not in isolation

You might be surprised to learn that a genuine Dom won't use the stereotypical way of speaking or bossing about.

A real & true Dom has no need.

A look or a gesture can be sufficient.

Communication in this way is so hot, the best part really, so intimate, unspoken, intuitive. Love it, the connection and the intensity "

Sorry but what is a genuine Dom?

To me it's an embarrassing cliched term that suggests their way is the only way (see also 'true subs') And going back to my other post, a good D/s dynamic depends on kinks aligning and to me that includes communication during play.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Neither? So you don't like being spoken to dirty or told what to do etc or you don't like being in control? Just in-between?

Being spoken to ‘dirty’ isn’t being dominated or submissive it’s a preference during sex

Go with the flow so both can enjoy

What do you class as being dominated? I class it as a women being told what to do and pleasing the guy so to speak and spoken to in a manner. Maybe others see it differently. bdsm some people say is dominated etc

I wouldn't call that Domination, ceryainly not in isolation

You might be surprised to learn that a genuine Dom won't use the stereotypical way of speaking or bossing about.

A real & true Dom has no need.

A look or a gesture can be sufficient.

Communication in this way is so hot, the best part really, so intimate, unspoken, intuitive. Love it, the connection and the intensity

Sorry but what is a genuine Dom?

To me it's an embarrassing cliched term that suggests their way is the only way (see also 'true subs') And going back to my other post, a good D/s dynamic depends on kinks aligning and to me that includes communication during play. "

Oh my, very snappish response there. Not what I'd expect from a composed Dom.

A genuine dom would be one who knows what a genuine dom is I guess, from personally living it.

There have been many comments above addressing the misconceptions of those who like being bossy or enjoying rough sex or selfish in bed or similar and calling it being dominant. Perhaps you missed them

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By *ohn KanakaMan  over a year ago

Not all that North of North London

[Removed by poster at 01/11/22 11:21:59]

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By *ohn KanakaMan  over a year ago

Not all that North of North London


"Neither? So you don't like being spoken to dirty or told what to do etc or you don't like being in control? Just in-between?

Being spoken to ‘dirty’ isn’t being dominated or submissive it’s a preference during sex

Go with the flow so both can enjoy

What do you class as being dominated? I class it as a women being told what to do and pleasing the guy so to speak and spoken to in a manner. Maybe others see it differently. bdsm some people say is dominated etc

I wouldn't call that Domination, ceryainly not in isolation

You might be surprised to learn that a genuine Dom won't use the stereotypical way of speaking or bossing about.

A real & true Dom has no need.

A look or a gesture can be sufficient.

Communication in this way is so hot, the best part really, so intimate, unspoken, intuitive. Love it, the connection and the intensity

Sorry but what is a genuine Dom?

To me it's an embarrassing cliched term that suggests their way is the only way (see also 'true subs') And going back to my other post, a good D/s dynamic depends on kinks aligning and to me that includes communication during play.

Oh my, very snappish response there. Not what I'd expect from a composed Dom.

A genuine dom would be one who knows what a genuine dom is I guess, from personally living it.

There have been many comments above addressing the misconceptions of those who like being bossy or enjoying rough sex or selfish in bed or similar and calling it being dominant. Perhaps you missed them

"

No. I think the fact that you directly quoted my response to those comments might be an indication I'd read them.

So I'll repeat. My opinion is that in isolation that is not Domination.

And I'll repeat again, kinks aligning and that includes communication during play is the key to a good D/s connection.

And after we'll over a decadenon the scene, I'm not going to hide my disdain for the terms genuine or true or real. It's elitest. It suggests that there is only one way which is nonsensical and often cones with a need to point score and imply superiority. I prefer to be around those who acknowledge there are many different interpretations of Dominant and submissive and not are better or worse (assuming consent obviously) and no are more or less valid.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Neither? So you don't like being spoken to dirty or told what to do etc or you don't like being in control? Just in-between?

Being spoken to ‘dirty’ isn’t being dominated or submissive it’s a preference during sex

Go with the flow so both can enjoy

What do you class as being dominated? I class it as a women being told what to do and pleasing the guy so to speak and spoken to in a manner. Maybe others see it differently. bdsm some people say is dominated etc

I wouldn't call that Domination, ceryainly not in isolation

You might be surprised to learn that a genuine Dom won't use the stereotypical way of speaking or bossing about.

A real & true Dom has no need.

A look or a gesture can be sufficient.

Communication in this way is so hot, the best part really, so intimate, unspoken, intuitive. Love it, the connection and the intensity

Sorry but what is a genuine Dom?

To me it's an embarrassing cliched term that suggests their way is the only way (see also 'true subs') And going back to my other post, a good D/s dynamic depends on kinks aligning and to me that includes communication during play.

Oh my, very snappish response there. Not what I'd expect from a composed Dom.

A genuine dom would be one who knows what a genuine dom is I guess, from personally living it.

There have been many comments above addressing the misconceptions of those who like being bossy or enjoying rough sex or selfish in bed or similar and calling it being dominant. Perhaps you missed them

No. I think the fact that you directly quoted my response to those comments might be an indication I'd read them.

So I'll repeat. My opinion is that in isolation that is not Domination.

And I'll repeat again, kinks aligning and that includes communication during play is the key to a good D/s connection.

And after we'll over a decadenon the scene, I'm not going to hide my disdain for the terms genuine or true or real. It's elitest. It suggests that there is only one way which is nonsensical and often cones with a need to point score and imply superiority. I prefer to be around those who acknowledge there are many different interpretations of Dominant and submissive and not are better or worse (assuming consent obviously) and no are more or less valid."

You're clearly overflowing with the disdain you mentioned and projecting personal experiences or issues on here.

No one stated a singular anything, point scoring or superiority except for you.

Thank you for sharing

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By *ohn KanakaMan  over a year ago

Not all that North of North London


"Neither? So you don't like being spoken to dirty or told what to do etc or you don't like being in control? Just in-between?

Being spoken to ‘dirty’ isn’t being dominated or submissive it’s a preference during sex

Go with the flow so both can enjoy

What do you class as being dominated? I class it as a women being told what to do and pleasing the guy so to speak and spoken to in a manner. Maybe others see it differently. bdsm some people say is dominated etc

I wouldn't call that Domination, ceryainly not in isolation

You might be surprised to learn that a genuine Dom won't use the stereotypical way of speaking or bossing about.

A real & true Dom has no need.

A look or a gesture can be sufficient.

Communication in this way is so hot, the best part really, so intimate, unspoken, intuitive. Love it, the connection and the intensity

Sorry but what is a genuine Dom?

To me it's an embarrassing cliched term that suggests their way is the only way (see also 'true subs') And going back to my other post, a good D/s dynamic depends on kinks aligning and to me that includes communication during play.

Oh my, very snappish response there. Not what I'd expect from a composed Dom.

A genuine dom would be one who knows what a genuine dom is I guess, from personally living it.

There have been many comments above addressing the misconceptions of those who like being bossy or enjoying rough sex or selfish in bed or similar and calling it being dominant. Perhaps you missed them

No. I think the fact that you directly quoted my response to those comments might be an indication I'd read them.

So I'll repeat. My opinion is that in isolation that is not Domination.

And I'll repeat again, kinks aligning and that includes communication during play is the key to a good D/s connection.

And after we'll over a decadenon the scene, I'm not going to hide my disdain for the terms genuine or true or real. It's elitest. It suggests that there is only one way which is nonsensical and often cones with a need to point score and imply superiority. I prefer to be around those who acknowledge there are many different interpretations of Dominant and submissive and not are better or worse (assuming consent obviously) and no are more or less valid.

You're clearly overflowing with the disdain you mentioned and projecting personal experiences or issues on here.

No one stated a singular anything, point scoring or superiority except for you.

Thank you for sharing"

Sorry, my mistake i though telling someone thst they might ne "surprised to learn how a genuine/real/true Dom" was possibly where the point scoring and supiority began?

And it's great thst that's how you play if you and your Dom enjoy it. But being vocal is okay if both parties enjoy that.

And I'd reiterate I dont think just bossing someone around or talking dirty constitutes D/s but if the OP finds someone and being spoken to like that is their kink and they both get off on it, good luck to them

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By *icecouple561Couple  over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex

The above is precisely why we stay well away from the 'scene' and go with what we like and agree between ourselves.

It's so unwelcoming and excludes people who are unsure or just learning.

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"Proper Dom sub dynamics are alot of work!

Think OP was just wondering if girls liked the man to be in control and rough sex basically right?"

Correct

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I'm very submissive x

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By *ubwife4uCouple  over a year ago

Kent

Mrs is most definitely more submissive sexually. Around the home, day to day and at work, she is very much a leader so when it comes to fun she loves gents who can take over. Gents who are naturally assertive and will tell her what to do etc. she loves being restrained and helpless to their wishes (within agreed limits) and enjoys a mix of slightly rough with sensual.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

No

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By *aughty2yorksCouple  over a year ago

Leeds

Yes quite submissive, especially like restraints and degradation x

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

No neither

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By *atisfiedSighWoman  over a year ago

NW Wiltshire

Depends on my mood. Sometimes I just don't want to think. I'm generally somewhere in the middle though. It's rare that I'll take charge, though it's a frequent fantasy.

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By *ecret-64Couple  over a year ago

Wrexham

Errrrr yessss xx

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By *ensualMan  over a year ago

Sutton


"The above is precisely why we stay well away from the 'scene' and go with what we like and agree between ourselves.

It's so unwelcoming and excludes people who are unsure or just learning. "

I would suggest an alternative view.

I was at my regular monthly munch last night and there were new people, and everyone got on well.

The message from the more experienced people was be careful and enjoy yourself in what you do whatever it is. This tends to be the modern view of kink and BDSM.

However, in my experience those who accept or are trained in the old school view of one true way, and 'real doms and real submissives" can be excitable about labels. But most people I have met on the scene are " f@ck it! Life is too short so fill your boots with what works for you"

By the way, for the people who think about D/s I would be interested on your views on a note I wrote that touches on issues in this thread.

https://m.fabswingers.com/forum/swingers/1373477

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By *ornywelsh2sumCouple  over a year ago

Neath valley.

I love to be dominated by John, but only John. Its the complete trust that we have for eachother. But in general I am switch. Jo

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By *sBlueWoman  over a year ago

Up North

Makes me laugh that so many men here don’t know what being a true dom means lol

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

neither i just enjoy good fun horny sex it's about giving and receiving pleasure for me

the whole dom / sub thing is fine but people need to realise not everyone needs such dynamics

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"Makes me laugh that so many men here don’t know what being a true dom means lol"

So what do you class a women who likes being told what to do and likes dirty talk etc and likes being controlled by a man ? That's what I was getting across not actually 50 shades of grey stuff lol

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By *den-Valley-coupleCouple  over a year ago

Cumbria


"Makes me laugh that so many men here don’t know what being a true dom means lol

So what do you class a women who likes being told what to do and likes dirty talk etc and likes being controlled by a man ? That's what I was getting across not actually 50 shades of grey stuff lol"

Have you tried shut up women and make my dinner?

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By *sBlueWoman  over a year ago

Up North


"Makes me laugh that so many men here don’t know what being a true dom means lol

So what do you class a women who likes being told what to do and likes dirty talk etc and likes being controlled by a man ? That's what I was getting across not actually 50 shades of grey stuff lol"

It’s just a preference

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By *etcplCouple  over a year ago

Gapping Fanny


"What people often think is that the Dom TAKES control whereas in fact he earns the respect of the Sub and they choose to GIVE control."

Just to pick up on this point around the exchange of power for those that may be interested.

Betty Martin came up with the idea of the wheel of consent which I would recommend people look into.

“In any instance of touch, there are two factors: who is doing and who it's for. Those two factors combine in four ways (quadrants). Each quadrant presents its own challenges, lessons and joys.

The circle represents consent (your agreement). Inside the circle there is a gift given and a gift received.

Outside the circle (without consent) the same action becomes stealing, abusing, etc.”

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Makes me laugh that so many men here don’t know what being a true dom means lol

So what do you class a women who likes being told what to do and likes dirty talk etc and likes being controlled by a man ? That's what I was getting across not actually 50 shades of grey stuff lol"

That’s why labels aren’t great and communicating clearly is key. Eg I could ask if you like rough sex, and rough sex could mean any number of things (before we even get to who is the giver and who is the receiver!).

It’s best not to make any assumptions or presumptions when talking about sex.

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By *elkieWoman  over a year ago

Durham


"Makes me laugh that so many men here don’t know what being a true dom means lol

So what do you class a women who likes being told what to do and likes dirty talk etc and likes being controlled by a man ? That's what I was getting across not actually 50 shades of grey stuff lol"

There’s no easy shorthand. I give people that information slowly, as we build trust. It very rarely happens before a first meet

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By *ittycock400Couple  over a year ago

Bristol

Enjoy being dominated with

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By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple  over a year ago

Leeds

No it's not for me, I prefer to be the one doing the tieing up, we're not into BDSM as such definitely no Dom/subs but we like a little sensual bondage.

Mrs

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By *ebbie69Couple  over a year ago

milton keynes


"Enjoy being submissive or you do you like being dominant ?"

I have been known to switch as enjoy both sides. I tend to spend more time in the sub side as this comes far more naturally to me. I love giving up control but it does require trust to be built. I do have hard limits and as long as they are observed I will do as told (for the duration of a meet).

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By *rish CougarWoman  over a year ago

Bray

Not for me

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By *IG G77Man  over a year ago

GATLEY


"Not for me"
I'd rather worship your heavenly body xxx

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By *ubynaughtyCouple  over a year ago

sheffield

Absolutely love it!

I'm dominant in daily life but when it comes to sex, do as you wish and treat me like shit

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I am an owned sub. It is literally my job to be a submissive. I love everything about it.

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By *rFoxAndXenoCouple  over a year ago

Weymouth

I adore being submissive. I'm dominant on occasion but only to Mr Fox

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Enjoy being submissive or you do you like being dominant ?"
Love a submissive Lady

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By *ornywelsh2sumCouple  over a year ago

Neath valley.


"There is a big difference between a submissive personality and a D/s dynamic.

True domination and submission are much more than being told what to do and doing it.

It is a mindset and normally part of a dynamic built on consent and trust.

I am submissive to a point with all men in that I don't enjoy taking control and am happy for the man to 'suggest' what to do but I will say no if I don't want to do what is suggested, he doesnt get to order me to do things and it is not an invitation to do whatever he likes and get exactly what he wants.

With my Dom it is very different and we have certain types of play or scenes that I would never do with anyone else. He does get to tell me what to do and fully expects me to do it. It's is part of our relationship and I do (normally) follow his instructions without question.

A lot on here don't get it and think they can message me giving me orders because it says I'm submissive. They then get angry and annoyed when I say no.

My point is yes I have a submissive nature but guys on here are not my Dom.

"

Exactly our dynamic. I am only johns sub and no one elses. If you think ordering a submissive to do things for you is being a dominant then you really dont know bdsm D/s dynamics at all. The role of the dom id far more than you telling your sub what to do to please you you are there to help him/her push their boundries and pleasure levels also through pain or pleasure or a mix of them both depending on the subs boundries and limitations.

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