FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Over 40s fussiness
Over 40s fussiness
Jump to: Newest in thread
I was reminiscing with my friend today how when I was alot younger, I used to be so much more adventurous and carefree with sex and people I had sex with. Now I grown older and become fussy as hell, maybe the fear of bad experiences with men. Some days I wish I would take more risks and maybe get alot more sex than now. Anyone else in their 40s and over experienced this?   |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Obviously my perspective as a man will be quite different, but as I've passed 40 I've realised if I want this, that, and the other from my sex life I better not waste time, and I rue the missed chances of my 20s |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Obviously my perspective as a man will be quite different, but as I've passed 40 I've realised if I want this, that, and the other from my sex life I better not waste time, and I rue the missed chances of my 20s"
But being in our 20s we definitely less experienced now. I have way better quality sex now but very little of it |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"If you feel like taking a risk I'll just err...leave my interest right here...
(Not that I'm a risk obviously I'm lovely xox)  "
I definitely not submissive. There ya go, my fussiness right here causing trouble  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
 |
By *ornycougaWoman
over a year ago
Wherever I lay my hat |
I feel truly blessed as I have both quality and quantity. But I know what you mean OP .... I am far choosier now than I was when I was younger and certainly won't put up with any nonsense (actual or often just perceived) now that I am a grumpy older woman! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"If you feel like taking a risk I'll just err...leave my interest right here...
(Not that I'm a risk obviously I'm lovely xox)
I definitely not submissive. There ya go, my fussiness right here causing trouble "
Haha! Have you sneaked at my profile? I might have to amend it because women being submissive is absolutely not a criteria I need. I like a battle for power, it's fun! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"No, quality over quantity nowadays. 
Very difficult finding quality though"
Yes, perhaps. But certainly worth it when you do. Less is probably more because you really appreciate it. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I feel truly blessed as I have both quality and quantity. But I know what you mean OP .... I am far choosier now than I was when I was younger and certainly won't put up with any nonsense (actual or often just perceived) now that I am a grumpy older woman!"
You lucky girl, based on those pics you certainly get the best |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Not that I had that much going in my earlier days, but there are the odd times I wonder what if ...taking a different road on a few opportunities, how they might have ..or not have, gone ..
Fussiness...maybe just more selective is more appropo OP |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Obviously my perspective as a man will be quite different, but as I've passed 40 I've realised if I want this, that, and the other from my sex life I better not waste time, and I rue the missed chances of my 20s
But being in our 20s we definitely less experienced now. I have way better quality sex now but very little of it"
Speak for yourself lol.
My experience is ok but definitely more in on my 20s than now lol |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"No, quality over quantity nowadays.
Very difficult finding quality though
So true! I don’t think I’ve found any quality on here yet.
Well I’m over 6ft so I meet some of your check list lol"
If only that was my only criteria lol |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Sometimes I wonder if I’m sabotaging what could be good experiences with people but I just think I have to go with my gut and tell myself that experience has brought me to these decisions and that I might not get to have sex often but the sex I am getting is fulfilling and not sex just for the sake of sex. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Ultimately I do think if people are worried they are being too fussy...they're probably being too fussy.
We live in a day and age where we can get whatever we want and especially for women on fab who get 1000s of messages,it's natural to expect it. But in the old days there wasn't choice like today, everyone's expecting better constantly, and yeah, ultimately it does mean missing out on some experiences while waiting for Mr or Mrs perfect.
Its up to each person though, no one owes anyone anything |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Sometimes I wonder if I’m sabotaging what could be good experiences with people but I just think I have to go with my gut and tell myself that experience has brought me to these decisions and that I might not get to have sex often but the sex I am getting is fulfilling and not sex just for the sake of sex."
You are a very sexy woman, stick with it and definitely keep meeting people in clubs, a lacklustre bio could just be average writing skills, when in person they could be absolutely charming |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Sometimes I wonder if I’m sabotaging what could be good experiences with people but I just think I have to go with my gut and tell myself that experience has brought me to these decisions and that I might not get to have sex often but the sex I am getting is fulfilling and not sex just for the sake of sex.
You are a very sexy woman, stick with it and definitely keep meeting people in clubs, a lacklustre bio could just be average writing skills, when in person they could be absolutely charming "
Thank you |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *ornycougaWoman
over a year ago
Wherever I lay my hat |
"Sometimes I wonder if I’m sabotaging what could be good experiences with people but I just think I have to go with my gut and tell myself that experience has brought me to these decisions and that I might not get to have sex often but the sex I am getting is fulfilling and not sex just for the sake of sex."
Going with your gut instinct is right imho. It's good to push your boundaries and sometimes take some calculated risks but whenever my instincts tell me 'no' and I go against that - I ALWAYS regret it. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Sometimes I wonder if I’m sabotaging what could be good experiences with people but I just think I have to go with my gut and tell myself that experience has brought me to these decisions and that I might not get to have sex often but the sex I am getting is fulfilling and not sex just for the sake of sex."
Yes exactly that. I'm so cautious now to avoid drama. Is that my intuition speaking to me or paranoia? Lol |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Sometimes I wonder if I’m sabotaging what could be good experiences with people but I just think I have to go with my gut and tell myself that experience has brought me to these decisions and that I might not get to have sex often but the sex I am getting is fulfilling and not sex just for the sake of sex.
You are a very sexy woman, stick with it and definitely keep meeting people in clubs, a lacklustre bio could just be average writing skills, when in person they could be absolutely charming "
I tried 2 clubs now and found nothing there. It was a very costly experience to find this out as I don't have a club that's just down the road |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Ultimately I do think if people are worried they are being too fussy...they're probably being too fussy.
We live in a day and age where we can get whatever we want and especially for women on fab who get 1000s of messages,it's natural to expect it. But in the old days there wasn't choice like today, everyone's expecting better constantly, and yeah, ultimately it does mean missing out on some experiences while waiting for Mr or Mrs perfect.
Its up to each person though, no one owes anyone anything "
It is really difficult for me when I get so many messages. I just end up saying no to 99.9% of them. The ones I do say yes, ghost you after chatting you up |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *rincipessaWoman
over a year ago
your wildest dreams, |
Into 50s and I’m fussier than ever. I’m totally aware of what I don’t want anymore as well as the things I do. Energy levels wane, libido fluctuates and so each experience must count. I want something all encompassing. Mind, body and soul. Otherwise it’s just masturbation by proxy |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
As I've got older I've become very fussy. Think my time on fab (6yrs) has made me even fussier.
I also find it harder to find that sexual chemistry.
I have met loads of gorgeous people on here and only played with a few.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I feel truly blessed as I have both quality and quantity. But I know what you mean OP .... I am far choosier now than I was when I was younger and certainly won't put up with any nonsense (actual or often just perceived) now that I am a grumpy older woman!"
Gorgeous, and a brilliant bio  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Ultimately I do think if people are worried they are being too fussy...they're probably being too fussy.
We live in a day and age where we can get whatever we want and especially for women on fab who get 1000s of messages,it's natural to expect it. But in the old days there wasn't choice like today, everyone's expecting better constantly, and yeah, ultimately it does mean missing out on some experiences while waiting for Mr or Mrs perfect.
Its up to each person though, no one owes anyone anything
It is really difficult for me when I get so many messages. I just end up saying no to 99.9% of them. The ones I do say yes, ghost you after chatting you up "
Of course you get so many messages - look at you!
I think it takes every guy a chat to a stunning woman on this site to realise just how loaded their inboxes can be. Of course you're going for the ones that REALLY match what you want.
But then those guys might get that from a lot of women, so are then players themselves...
Without disclosing work, I know alot about dating/hook up cultures in this day and age from so many people and the above is true for so many gorgeous women. Who get attention but not what they need. And there's nothing that can make it change really! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
When I was younger, I would often be so flattered that a girl wanted me that I’d sleep with her without a second thought.
As I got older I developed more self confidence. Or maybe self worth is a better way of putting it. I slowly realised that I was actually attractive (to some!) and could make my own decisions about who I did or didn’t have sex with.
I’ve been happier since. A lot happier. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *orny PTMan
over a year ago
Peterborough |
"When I was younger, I would often be so flattered that a girl wanted me that I’d sleep with her without a second thought.
As I got older I developed more self confidence. Or maybe self worth is a better way of putting it. I slowly realised that I was actually attractive (to some!) and could make my own decisions about who I did or didn’t have sex with.
I’ve been happier since. A lot happier."
That's a very tough lesson to learn and it takes years to recognise that, you maybe attractive to a specific niche (for want of a better word) and that will take some of the guess work out of it. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *lofeldMan
over a year ago
Redhill |
"Into 50s and I’m fussier than ever. I’m totally aware of what I don’t want anymore as well as the things I do. Energy levels wane, libido fluctuates and so each experience must count. I want something all encompassing. Mind, body and soul. Otherwise it’s just masturbation by proxy "
Masturbation by proxy, I have never heard that before, its great use of the language! I'll use the age old saying 'imitation is the sincerest form of flattery' and borrow that when appropriate, thank you! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *ady23Woman
over a year ago
Coventry |
"I was reminiscing with my friend today how when I was alot younger, I used to be so much more adventurous and carefree with sex and people I had sex with. Now I grown older and become fussy as hell, maybe the fear of bad experiences with men. Some days I wish I would take more risks and maybe get alot more sex than now. Anyone else in their 40s and over experienced this? "
I've always been fussy tbh quality over quantity every time but I guess I'm also more of a realistic expectation now I'm older |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I don't call it being fussy - to me it's being more discriminating in finding what you really want. For example, I get a surprising number of single bi guys messaging me, often just a few suggestive words or illiterate, which doesn't really excite me at all. I'd rather see some evidence of thoughtfulness in their choice - and having actually read my profile. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I was way too focused/fussy when I was younger and had a certain type of woman I went for, mainly skinny and blonde. Looking back, had so many missed opportunities together with the inability to read come on signals. As I’ve got older have appreciated all shapes and hair colours and the world is a much better place with so much more choice. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I'd say I'm much more self aware and in control of my sex life now.
In my younger years I had very little self esteem and jumped on any bit of attention I got which often ended in me feeling dejected after or sticking with boring sex because the guy was into me.
Now I'm more choosy who I sleep with and I wouldn't settle for something that didn't give me what I need. I know what I like and I know I can have it. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I'm definitely more fussy now I'm older and the quality of my fab encounters has definitely improved as a result. I don't regret going for more meets with people I didn't click as well with. I regret nothing! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Yes and no. I will often go for different types of guy now, so I'd say I'm more experimental in that sense. I just wish I had the same energy!
The energy is what I miss the most"
Younger guys have more energy and you can catch it like a sexy cold...just sayin' haha!
I'm joking I'll stop trying to flirt with you x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I like the fact that as I got older I was more able to feel what the person I was with needed, to form a real sexual connection. Sometimes they need to be hammered like a road drill, other times they want slow and sensual with lots of eye contact and whispering. I find as the partners are more mature, the better they are at this unspoken communication. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Yes and no. I will often go for different types of guy now, so I'd say I'm more experimental in that sense. I just wish I had the same energy!
The energy is what I miss the most
Younger guys have more energy and you can catch it like a sexy cold...just sayin' haha!
I'm joking I'll stop trying to flirt with you x"
I have to agree, once had a 23 year old afew years ago and his energy levels were amazing  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Yes and no. I will often go for different types of guy now, so I'd say I'm more experimental in that sense. I just wish I had the same energy!
The energy is what I miss the most
Younger guys have more energy and you can catch it like a sexy cold...just sayin' haha!
I'm joking I'll stop trying to flirt with you x
I have to agree, once had a 23 year old afew years ago and his energy levels were amazing "
Urgh just tease me why don't you |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
» Add a new message to this topic
