FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Cheating
Cheating
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"A lot of guys say they cheat and love a married woman who is cheating. But how would they feel if their partner cheated on them, would they mind? " My ex-wife did the dirty on me - I don’t love a cheating woman as I have been on the other side of being cheated on, but I do get why it happens. I felt absolutely shitty after mine did it and would hate it to happen again or to others….I’d definitely mind if I cheated or was cheated on!! | |||
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"Didn't mind the cheating it's the lies i couldn't handle " Sort of get what you mean However.. Not wishing to split hairs but the Lie'ing is the Cheating bit. As in, if it was known to be happening it wouldn't be cheating. But I do understand that horrible feeling of being lied to especially if you get that inkling you're being made a fool of. I wonder if people who have joined this website are of a mindset that if thier partner are going to get with others at least they'll fully in the picture! Hopefully avoiding the awful secrets & lies | |||
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"That’s is why I’m here - it’s beyond sexless ! " Why not leave the marriage then? Surely that's a better option than staying in a sexless marriage. She might be just as unhappy | |||
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"That’s is why I’m here - it’s beyond sexless ! Why not leave the marriage then? Surely that's a better option than staying in a sexless marriage. She might be just as unhappy" Too many reasons to list but the main one is our ivf kid. | |||
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"That’s is why I’m here - it’s beyond sexless ! Why not leave the marriage then? Surely that's a better option than staying in a sexless marriage. She might be just as unhappy Too many reasons to list but the main one is our ivf kid. " So I take it you have both spoken to say you are not happy? Why cheat? | |||
"That’s is why I’m here - it’s beyond sexless ! Why not leave the marriage then? Surely that's a better option than staying in a sexless marriage. She might be just as unhappy Too many reasons to list but the main one is our ivf kid. " I’m the child of a broken marriage due to a father who never stopped cheating and a stupid mother who kept taking him back. Take it from me, a child is absolutely no reason to stay in an unhappy marriage. You’re not doing that child any favours. They will 100% know things aren’t right and all the ways you think you’re helping prevent them from being screwed up will backfire and they’ll only end up screwed up a hundred other different ways. To top it off, you’ll be the bad guy for cheating and lose the respect of people around you when you’re found out. And you will be found out. I didn’t speak to my father for years because o had zero respect for his behaviour and treatment of me and my mother. C x | |||
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"My ex cheated on me then kicked me out making it my fault for working every hour god sends to make sure her and her kids and my kids to her begged for nothing " First rule as a young man, don't have more babies with a single mother. Some would even tell you, do not even date single mothers. Let her support her children on her own! I never wanted to be a single mother in my 20's or 30's and I never found the right man so I never had children. This happened to one of my friends...I was like why you financially supporting a woman who isn't even your wife? | |||
"My ex cheated on me then kicked me out making it my fault for working every hour god sends to make sure her and her kids and my kids to her begged for nothing First rule as a young man, don't have more babies with a single mother. Some would even tell you, do not even date single mothers. Let her support her children on her own! I never wanted to be a single mother in my 20's or 30's and I never found the right man so I never had children. This happened to one of my friends...I was like why you financially supporting a woman who isn't even your wife?" Life isn’t always so black and white. Plenty of women end up as single parents through no fault of their own, they deserve happiness. Children exist because of two people, not one. Both parties should take responsibility for the lives they brought in to the World. C x | |||
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"It’s not where you go but where you back to!!! Also define cheating ?? Is cheating going out for some uncomplicated fun? Cheating to me is going out for dinner, drinks, nights out and holidays/weekend away, Certainly not swinging xxx" My definition of cheating is something that you wouldn't tell your OH about. | |||
"My ex cheated on me then kicked me out making it my fault for working every hour god sends to make sure her and her kids and my kids to her begged for nothing First rule as a young man, don't have more babies with a single mother. Some would even tell you, do not even date single mothers. Let her support her children on her own! I never wanted to be a single mother in my 20's or 30's and I never found the right man so I never had children. This happened to one of my friends...I was like why you financially supporting a woman who isn't even your wife?" Why would someone have to financially support someone who is their wife? Surely it's a joint effort to both bring the bacon home, no? | |||
"I cheat on my hubby all the time. I think he gets off on it. I know I do " Hot | |||
"A lot of guys say they cheat and love a married woman who is cheating. But how would they feel if their partner cheated on them, would they mind? " I've never considered this to be a very logical question. | |||
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"I cheat on my hubby all the time. I think he gets off on it. I know I do Hot" Nice comment x do you want to send me your post code lol xxx  | |||
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"That’s is why I’m here - it’s beyond sexless ! Why not leave the marriage then? Surely that's a better option than staying in a sexless marriage. She might be just as unhappy Too many reasons to list but the main one is our ivf kid. I’m the child of a broken marriage due to a father who never stopped cheating and a stupid mother who kept taking him back. Take it from me, a child is absolutely no reason to stay in an unhappy marriage. You’re not doing that child any favours. They will 100% know things aren’t right and all the ways you think you’re helping prevent them from being screwed up will backfire and they’ll only end up screwed up a hundred other different ways. To top it off, you’ll be the bad guy for cheating and lose the respect of people around you when you’re found out. And you will be found out. I didn’t speak to my father for years because o had zero respect for his behaviour and treatment of me and my mother. C x" Have to absolutely agree with this as a child of parents constantly cheating and arguing, I ended up disliking both, from a young age it was apparent and I'd asked many times for them to split, it's never in the best interest of a child to be around unhappy parents, your leading the example in how relationships should be and cheating isn't a great example to set. Mrs | |||
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"We get on as friends as we been through hell together with numerous life issues. She never makes a move on me nor do I want t her to as I don’t find her remotely attractive sexually no more plus when we had sex it was truly cringe worthy. I never make a move on her not even to ‘get my rocks off’ as I don’t want crap pointless sex. We get on as friends and neither of us hint or talk about sex and it seems to suit us (me) fine. " Will this be your speech when you renew your wedding vows?  | |||
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"with guys who cheat on their own wives, to actively go out looking for other married woman to fuck the more they find and fuck the more they need, there are many married women who are not in a very sexual relationship with their husbands, and rightly or wrongly go looking to for that little extra, and there are guys who are married also, and their own wives have lost their sexual appetite, so by looking for that sexual release in the arms of another woman,if the woman wants cock and the guy is in need of a nice sexy woman, is it wrong, its a natural thing is it not, a guy goes home with empty balls and still with his wife, a wife arrive home, gives her husband a kiss, yet only short while earlier she was sucking her lover, and her knickers holding back the tide of his cum inside her, many cheat some can't help it, we are all swingers here do we condemn cheaters, " Makes sense | |||
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"my partner cheats on me" and you put up with it, does she know you know, if so, does it make her do it more | |||
"Didn't mind the cheating it's the lies i couldn't handle "  exactly this | |||
"That’s is why I’m here - it’s beyond sexless ! Why not leave the marriage then? Surely that's a better option than staying in a sexless marriage. She might be just as unhappy" There's more to some sexless marriages than willpower, some have medical issues. | |||
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"I would never do anything with another person if Im in a relationship unless it was something we had discussed and agreed on " Most married people who have cheated said what you have said initially. I always think it sounds naive when I hear people say, "I would never..." | |||
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"I cheat on my hubby all the time. I think he gets off on it. I know I do " i dont think that counts as cheating lol | |||
"well considering ive never cheated in a relationship and im a 39 year old man and not a 21 year old kid I think your comment is pretty inaccurate " Okie dokie. I think my statement is demonstrably accurate, but I wish you all the best. | |||
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"That’s is why I’m here - it’s beyond sexless ! Why not leave the marriage then? Surely that's a better option than staying in a sexless marriage. She might be just as unhappy Too many reasons to list but the main one is our ivf kid. I’m the child of a broken marriage due to a father who never stopped cheating and a stupid mother who kept taking him back. Take it from me, a child is absolutely no reason to stay in an unhappy marriage. You’re not doing that child any favours. They will 100% know things aren’t right and all the ways you think you’re helping prevent them from being screwed up will backfire and they’ll only end up screwed up a hundred other different ways. To top it off, you’ll be the bad guy for cheating and lose the respect of people around you when you’re found out. And you will be found out. I didn’t speak to my father for years because o had zero respect for his behaviour and treatment of me and my mother. C x Have to absolutely agree with this as a child of parents constantly cheating and arguing, I ended up disliking both, from a young age it was apparent and I'd asked many times for them to split, it's never in the best interest of a child to be around unhappy parents, your leading the example in how relationships should be and cheating isn't a great example to set. Mrs " so sorry that your parents did this to you.....yeah that would have fucked y already fucked mind if they added cheating on top. If they sat me down and said it's and open relationship then I could have understood but lying to each other and then telling me not to lie....um..no....no thanks...my brain has enough to deal with. | |||
"A lot of guys say they cheat and love a married woman who is cheating. But how would they feel if their partner cheated on them, would they mind? " Many men are just selfish macho who don’t care less for what’s around them . Some women can be evil selfish bitches too . No . Cheating has nothing happy about it . I gave love to married women trapped in relationships being not well treated . Being ignored and not touched . I done it before . Is very sad . So I don’t feel bad in sharing love even the fact is under a cheat . I know cheating is evil . But treat the wife’s to the point I heard … I heard many stories from ladies I never met online , on dating apps . I was 100% anti - cheat . Then slowly I came to realise about many different things . Feels good to share a little bit of love they so much wish for . Is achieving you gave someone love in her life .. Yes is good you have her love , and you happy for her being brave to came and claim her life back . But … is all a very sad story behind that … I was cheated when I was 16 . Wasn’t my first love but she was my first official sexual girlfriend .. Hurt me so much I refuse to bring that pain to anyone else. Someone cheating in a loving caring good partner I think is cruel . I don’t like that . I would feel bad and sorry for him if I knew he was a good guy like me .
But don’t talk to your wife , not even look at her , even dare to touch her or kiss her . Or ask : how was your day ? How are you ?
Sorry , but I find that even more cruel then cheat . Is family and emotional slaavery .
Don’t wanna sound rude , but bad husbands I have no mercy at all . She doesn’t deserve to be like that . Stuck in there .
Don’t want her , let her go . Arrange something , I know is not easy , children , mortgages .
But both there trapped , giving wings as they look out of the window stirring a cup of tea ?
I’m sorry . Is wrong .
There’s nothing happy about cheating .
I never cheated . I never will . I don’t ever let myself get to that position either on the first place .
Everyone is different . Is a game with no rules .
I believe honesty and trust would bring much more joy then hide and seek
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"we have to agree to disagree. You're basically accusing me and most people who are married of being disloyal people. which I fund quite rude to be honest" Maybe re-read my comment and see that I've done nothing of the sort. I specifically spoke of people who later go on to cheat and what they ambitiously say initially. The presumed rudeness is unfounded. | |||
"My ex cheated on me then kicked me out making it my fault for working every hour god sends to make sure her and her kids and my kids to her begged for nothing First rule as a young man, don't have more babies with a single mother. Some would even tell you, do not even date single mothers. Let her support her children on her own! I never wanted to be a single mother in my 20's or 30's and I never found the right man so I never had children. This happened to one of my friends...I was like why you financially supporting a woman who isn't even your wife? Life isn’t always so black and white. Plenty of women end up as single parents through no fault of their own, they deserve happiness. Children exist because of two people, not one. Both parties should take responsibility for the lives they brought in to the World. C x" A man shouldn't be coming in to rescue you and your children unless he is marrying you and adopting your children formally. It's not fair that a man should come in and work all hours to pay for children that are not his by birth or by law. And then the cheating on top. This man's experience sounds like that woman was selfish and dysfunctional and now she's a single mother again with more kids. Women need to stop taking advantage of men. I have one failed marriage. That does not mean that I'm going to be going from relationship to relationship or marriage to marriage repeating dysfunctional patterns and make no mistake every father that ( or is forced to leave) leaves is a trauma to those kids. I'm not saying it's anyone's fault but I've seen it all go wrong through the generations with multiple baby fathers or even 7 children from one father. The mother with 7 goes through the wringer daily and all the children have different SEN and the one baby father is, unfortunately, unable to help her. She literally has 4 children screaming at her daily/weekly and each other about how much they hate her and each other. I know single mothers who stopped at one or two children and they never brought another man into their children's lives and their kids are doing very well. I'm not saying they remained celibate. I'm staying their priority was the stability of their children's lives. Same goes for a lot of single fathers I know. They are not adding multiple "step-mothers" to their children's psyche or they stick with one or two children. For myself I can't do something like that. Some people raise 3 plus children great but I haven't seen many from large families who haven't come out scarred in some way because when they needed support their parents couldn't be there because they were dealing with the other children. Even up to 50 something this was still affecting people in my family feeling left out by their parents. There's a reason even Princess Diana stopped at 2. My mom stopped at 2. I'm still at zero. My sibling intends to stay at zero. Happiness isn't always in a marriage and a large family. Certainly will have less time for swinging if you have 3 plus kids and a marriage and a household and a job to maintain. Not everyone can take responsibility for the children whom they donate genes to. Often that's no fault of their own through illness or disability or health condition. I'm lucky I had a choice. I knew something wasn't right and I didn't want to have children until I was confident in parenting them. Unfortunately, that confidence was not there in my 20s or 30s. | |||
"My ex cheated on me then kicked me out making it my fault for working every hour god sends to make sure her and her kids and my kids to her begged for nothing First rule as a young man, don't have more babies with a single mother. Some would even tell you, do not even date single mothers. Let her support her children on her own! I never wanted to be a single mother in my 20's or 30's and I never found the right man so I never had children. This happened to one of my friends...I was like why you financially supporting a woman who isn't even your wife? Life isn’t always so black and white. Plenty of women end up as single parents through no fault of their own, they deserve happiness. Children exist because of two people, not one. Both parties should take responsibility for the lives they brought in to the World. C x" My daughter’s mother before we got pregnant I told her straight : Rules : 1- I will never stay with you just for the child or children . Or we stay cause we want each other or don’t bother . 2- If things go wrong I will never leave and I will always be here for the child and support . Sadly the relationship didn’t last x Drama . But as promised I will always be here to see my daughter , we r best friends and send a bit money every week to help with the bills . Is a heart brake . But is better this way . | |||
"with guys who cheat on their own wives, to actively go out looking for other married woman to fuck the more they find and fuck the more they need, there are many married women who are not in a very sexual relationship with their husbands, and rightly or wrongly go looking to for that little extra, and there are guys who are married also, and their own wives have lost their sexual appetite, so by looking for that sexual release in the arms of another woman,if the woman wants cock and the guy is in need of a nice sexy woman, is it wrong, its a natural thing is it not, a guy goes home with empty balls and still with his wife, a wife arrive home, gives her husband a kiss, yet only short while earlier she was sucking her lover, and her knickers holding back the tide of his cum inside her, many cheat some can't help it, we are all swingers here do we condemn cheaters, " My brain can't deal with cheating and lying. It makes me physically and mentally ill. What other people do that doesn't involve me is none of my business. So please respect my neurodivergent brain and don't involve me in your cheating and lies. Just leave me out thanks. The same way I don't do drugs and get d*unk in public due to my neurodivergent brain. If you want to do drugs and get d*unk go right ahead but don't involve me. Don't we all have the right to say no to things that we are not comfortable with for whatever reason? Don't we all have the right to say "hey in my reality, I can't handle the potential consequences of this?" Some people's brains don't like blowjobs. Some people's brains don't like anal. Some people's brains can't handle telling the truth because it's painful so it's easier for them to lie. My brain can't handle lying because it's painful so it's easier for me to tell the truth. I can say what has been my experience and what is a trigger and the harm or the good I've seen from things and then as an adult human decide for myself if I want to engage or not. If you both like anal great. if you both like cheating great. The problem is when you impose your decisions on other people and they can't make an informed choice of consent or no consent. No one likes a surprise dick up the ass halfway during sex (r@.p£y vibes) No one likes a surprise "oh by the way I have a wife/husband/boyfriend/girlfriend/multiple partners I bareback/committed life partner that I live with" halfway during sex/social/club meet ( mind r@.p£y) If that makes me a prude, or sensitive or condemnatory, then just leave me out altogether. I'm a maverick. I don't need a clique and I move nomadically among different tribes to suit my lifestyle. Validate your own choice to cheat. Validate your own choice not to cheat. Self-validate so that when someone disagrees with your choice, you just move on and float by like a leaf on a stream...Ahhh. From one maverick to An Original Maverick: Boma ye Mohammad Ali Float like a butterfly Sting like a Bee   | |||
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"I cheat on my hubby all the time. I think he gets off on it. I know I do i dont think that counts as cheating lol" why not? I have my own profile aswell. He never knows what I'm up to. Who I fuck. | |||
"I can't stand cheating. Experienced it first hand multiple times before this scene and it's absolutely soul destroying to a person, makes them question themselves in horrific mind breaking ways. The lies, sneaking around and hiding are the worst, I personally think I could of got over the fact of what they done if honesty was given but the not knowing, finding out, lied bare faced too and made out to be crazy for thinking it was the absolute worst for me. Too then get proof and be told I was right, the visions of it going on that go through your brain are horrendous. I don't think there is any reason for it, if you don't want to be monogamous, don't be in a relationship that is, if you are not getting what you need from one then leave, I understand its hard sometimes but so is life, if your partner isn't putting out then talk and maybe come to an arrangement. Nobody seems to want to communicate anymore. Cheating is a big no for me, I wouldn't inflict that pain on anyone. No chance" You will never get honesty from a cheater it’s not in their nature, they don’t care for your forgiveness as long as they can keep the shame of what they did hidden from everyone | |||
"I can't stand cheating. Experienced it first hand multiple times before this scene and it's absolutely soul destroying to a person, makes them question themselves in horrific mind breaking ways. The lies, sneaking around and hiding are the worst, I personally think I could of got over the fact of what they done if honesty was given but the not knowing, finding out, lied bare faced too and made out to be crazy for thinking it was the absolute worst for me. Too then get proof and be told I was right, the visions of it going on that go through your brain are horrendous. I don't think there is any reason for it, if you don't want to be monogamous, don't be in a relationship that is, if you are not getting what you need from one then leave, I understand its hard sometimes but so is life, if your partner isn't putting out then talk and maybe come to an arrangement. Nobody seems to want to communicate anymore. Cheating is a big no for me, I wouldn't inflict that pain on anyone. No chance You will never get honesty from a cheater it’s not in their nature, they don’t care for your forgiveness as long as they can keep the shame of what they did hidden from everyone " Sadly too true | |||
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"You will never get honesty from a cheater it’s not in their nature, they don’t care for your forgiveness as long as they can keep the shame of what they did hidden from everyone " I'm not sure it's helpful to lump all cheaters together. Many would be desperate for their partners forgiveness. | |||
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"It’s not where you go but where you back to!!! Also define cheating ?? Is cheating going out for some uncomplicated fun? Cheating to me is going out for dinner, drinks, nights out and holidays/weekend away, Certainly not swinging xxx" To me, cheating is going in secrecy meeting others for sexual or romantic relationship/encounters and not telling your partner about it. | |||
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"It’s not where you go but where you back to!!! Also define cheating ?? Is cheating going out for some uncomplicated fun? Cheating to me is going out for dinner, drinks, nights out and holidays/weekend away, Certainly not swinging xxx To me, cheating is going in secrecy meeting others for sexual or romantic relationship/encounters and not telling your partner about it. " What about the more intimate stuff...? Feelings? Sharing emotional problems? Talking openly with someone else rather than the partner? I find that softer stuff more of an issue than something simply physical like something sexual. | |||
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"It’s not where you go but where you back to!!! Also define cheating ?? Is cheating going out for some uncomplicated fun? Cheating to me is going out for dinner, drinks, nights out and holidays/weekend away, Certainly not swinging xxx" I agree with you... I don't class it as cheating if you're not looking to leave your partner .. but everyone is different with different opinions and views ... After all What is normal..? | |||
"A lot of guys say they cheat and love a married woman who is cheating. But how would they feel if their partner cheated on them, would they mind? " Don't really care how they feel to be honest. Cheat, get caught, then deal with your own shit, it's that simple. BTW, I hate cheaters.  | |||
"That’s is why I’m here - it’s beyond sexless ! Too many reasons to list but the main one is our ivf kid. " what a horrible thing to say  | |||
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"If my ex wife had cheated on me I wouldn't have given a shit because I felt totally disconnected from her because of how she treated me. " How did she treat you? Both cheating cancels each other out | |||
"That’s is why I’m here - it’s beyond sexless ! Too many reasons to list but the main one is our ivf kid. what a horrible thing to say "Which part? | |||
"I would love my wife to cheat X I would find it an amazing turn on x" Suggest that to her then | |||
"A lot of guys say they cheat and love a married woman who is cheating. But how would they feel if their partner cheated on them, would they mind? " No I don’t wouldn’t, I’d find it a relief in a way. I’d be slightly annoyed about the fact that she’d showed zero interest in years and made me stay celibate, but otherwise as I’d said, I’d be quite relieved. I’m just not the jealous type. Odd I know but there it is | |||
"A lot of guys say they cheat and love a married woman who is cheating. But how would they feel if their partner cheated on them, would they mind? No I don’t wouldn’t, I’d find it a relief in a way. I’d be slightly annoyed about the fact that she’d showed zero interest in years and made me stay celibate, but otherwise as I’d said, I’d be quite relieved. I’m just not the jealous type. Odd I know but there it is" Why relieved? And showed zero interest in years why not talk about it? | |||
"A lot of guys say they cheat and love a married woman who is cheating. But how would they feel if their partner cheated on them, would they mind? No I don’t wouldn’t, I’d find it a relief in a way. I’d be slightly annoyed about the fact that she’d showed zero interest in years and made me stay celibate, but otherwise as I’d said, I’d be quite relieved. I’m just not the jealous type. Odd I know but there it is Why relieved? And showed zero interest in years why not talk about it?" I’ve tried talking it over with her which led to arguments, counselling, more arguments. There was no resolution, I don’t think for one minute that she should drop her knickers for me, there is no god given entitlement there. However the relief (perhaps relief is the wrong word)would come from being able to sit down and discuss like adults the option of having an open marriage. As for those that say just split up - we can’t. Financially it would ruin us. Especially in the current climate. My advice is stay single, don’t have kids, enjoy life | |||
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"A lot of guys say they cheat and love a married woman who is cheating. But how would they feel if their partner cheated on them, would they mind? No I don’t wouldn’t, I’d find it a relief in a way. I’d be slightly annoyed about the fact that she’d showed zero interest in years and made me stay celibate, but otherwise as I’d said, I’d be quite relieved. I’m just not the jealous type. Odd I know but there it is Why relieved? And showed zero interest in years why not talk about it? I’ve tried talking it over with her which led to arguments, counselling, more arguments. There was no resolution, I don’t think for one minute that she should drop her knickers for me, there is no god given entitlement there. However the relief (perhaps relief is the wrong word)would come from being able to sit down and discuss like adults the option of having an open marriage. As for those that say just split up - we can’t. Financially it would ruin us. Especially in the current climate. My advice is stay single, don’t have kids, enjoy life" I take it you have kids?, having an open relationship would work if you both have ability to play away but she can't keep you in a sexless marriage that's selfish | |||
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"I’ve got 3 kids from a previous relationship, she’s got 2. Our kids don’t really factor into it, they’re all very well adjusted and they obviously get put first. What I will say is that feeling sorry for oneself never solves the problem. So I refuse to join the pity party. Just getting on with it seems to be the best way forward." I'd say enough is enough, sit down come to an agreement, where you are both happy, if you break it up she can't blame you because she wouldn't play ball | |||
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"As I said, financially, we’d both be ruined so at the moment, it isn’t an option" I'd say you would be worse off, she takes the kids gets a council house, you get told to fuck off and rent your a man, doesn't seem like marriage is all its cracked up to be | |||
