FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > How to ask my wife?
How to ask my wife?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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How the hell do you ask your wife for a 3some I really want see another man fuck her it really turns me on thinking about it but I feel she will lose her head if I tell her please just tell me how you come out with it? |
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"How the hell do you ask your wife for a 3some I really want see another man fuck her it really turns me on thinking about it but I feel she will lose her head if I tell her please just tell me how you come out with it?"
It's interesting to hear what you 'really want.' What does your wife want?
Has she ever expressed any interest in anything like that? Do you discuss anything beyond the two of you when you're having sex, or fantasising at other times?
Does she watch porn on things like?
If you don't know what she 'really wants' then I don't think you should just come out with it at all.
There's a book on amazon called 'How to be a Swinger' that talks about some of this, but I think even that is some way off for you. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I really don’t no if she would or what she would say
She don’t watch porn well I don’t think so anyway and we never really speak when making love we just get on with it and no she don’t have clue I’m on here I’m so I think it’s never gonna happen is it really |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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At times the OH, male or female does not need to "express an interest," etc.
My wife did not but I started the chat, she lol initially, gradually we built on it and then a double dare at the beach a good few years ago and we were into threesomes.
I've found that older women in their 60 are often more randy than their men. I post a a genral forum and made friends with several ladies via pm as we have similar views and gradually overtime we have a lol and then flirts and more often than not the lady claiming to be in their late 50's possibly most likley a bit older than that let go and say how their man can't keep it up or one of their dreams to try a young stud, one night stand/etc/etc.
Works both ways.
often, men are more randy than women but women are almost there IMO |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I’m not cheating as I’ve not been with anyone here I’m just browsing I found this site when googled how to ask your wife you want to share her and it showed me some posts from the forum on this site I’ve been reading peoples profiles for months that’s why I’m getting so turned on to share her that’s what I mean as well I want MMf not ffm I want a 3some with another man I don’t want fuck another woman |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The best way is to talk to her! No hard fast rule! Tell her about your fantasy but never force her. If she digs it eventually she will get involved! If she don't you can wank thinkin bout it |
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"I really don’t no if she would or what she would say
She don’t watch porn well I don’t think so anyway and we never really speak when making love we just get on with it and no she don’t have clue I’m on here I’m so I think it’s never gonna happen is it really"
I don't know why anything there means you couldn't talk about your relationship and sex-life. She is likely just as unsatisfied as you.
The fact you don't know what she would say suggests there are some pretty fundamental things in your relationship that you need to work on. |
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"I’m not cheating as I’ve not been with anyone here I’m just browsing I found this site when googled how to ask your wife you want to share her and it showed me some posts from the forum on this site I’ve been reading peoples profiles for months that’s why I’m getting so turned on to share her that’s what I mean as well I want MMf not ffm I want a 3some with another man I don’t want fuck another woman"
Oh right, though putting looking for nsa would suggest you were looking....but anyway just ask her. What's the worst that could happen? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I’m not cheating as I’ve not been with anyone here I’m just browsing I found this site when googled how to ask your wife you want to share her and it showed me some posts from the forum on this site I’ve been reading peoples profiles for months that’s why I’m getting so turned on to share her that’s what I mean as well I want MMf not ffm I want a 3some with another man I don’t want fuck another woman"
OP, you don't need to justify anything as there are many singles her like you. Often men lead as I did, someone has to ask first.
We all have different problems/questions/needs and almost everyone is aware what is right and what is not as none of us her here are under 18.
It's kismet and most people with
Good luck  |
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Have you spoken about it to her at all?
How would you feel if she asked you to do something sexual out of the blue? For example say she agreed to a threesome as long as you agreed to give oral to the other guy. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Have you spoken about it to her at all?
How would you feel if she asked you to do something sexual out of the blue? For example say she agreed to a threesome as long as you agreed to give oral to the other guy."
Thinking back to when we first started and it was a double dare, I would have gone for it, lol. I'm not bi, but a really sexy/dirty mind when younger and able. Sadly, now, mind is more dirty as more time on our hands and less able. IMO, most men would try/do anyhting, some will disagree.
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By *issmorganWoman
over a year ago
Calderdale innit |
Same advice I give to the numerous posts on this ,
Sit down and speak to her op,we don't know your wife and what's she's likely to say,you do.
Ask her if she'd consider involving another man in your sex life ,be prepared that you might not get the answer you want though It has to be what she would want ,not just what you want to see happen.
If she says no can you delete this profile and carry on as you are. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I would love her to have MMf with me but I really am straight I wouldn’t do that to another man but on the other hand I would say I’m what you call cock friendly and would love to get both cocks up her lol |
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"I can’t even ask her to watch porn with me cuz I don’t no how she will react I’m a pussy lol"
If you do reply & quote people will know who you are replying to
To be honest if you can't even talk to her about porn I'm not sure a threesome us a great idea, as communication is vital |
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"I would love her to have MMf with me but I really am straight I wouldn’t do that to another man but on the other hand I would say I’m what you call cock friendly and would love to get both cocks up her lol"
So we know what you want and what you don't want to do. How about her?
Start by working on your intimacy, talk about emotional things with her, listen to what she says, really get to know each other. You will then have a good idea of her possible reactions when you begin to discuss *both* of your sexual fantasies.
I don't know you or her but I'd say from what I read here that your relationship is nowhere near ready for a threesome if you can't talk about it. |
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"I can’t even ask her to watch porn with me cuz I don’t no how she will react I’m a pussy lol"
Time to grow-up then and have healthy conversations in your relationship.
You've said a lot about what you want in this thread. But you don't even know what she wants.
I'm not even asking what she wants in terms of sexual novelty. I suspect you need to get to know each other properly, primarilly for the sake of your relationship not your desire for her to be with another guy. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Someone just messaged me and if decided I’m gonna ask her if she wants to go out in car for some fun and see how she reacts and if she go’s for it I wanna see if it turns her on and if it does I’m go a ask her if she would like someone to watch |
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"Someone just messaged me and if decided I’m gonna ask her if she wants to go out in car for some fun and see how she reacts and if she go’s for it I wanna see if it turns her on and if it does I’m go a ask her if she would like someone to watch"
I would very strongly advise against arranging something behind her back. Please talk to her first. |
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By *issmorganWoman
over a year ago
Calderdale innit |
"Someone just messaged me and if decided I’m gonna ask her if she wants to go out in car for some fun and see how she reacts and if she go’s for it I wanna see if it turns her on and if it does I’m go a ask her if she would like someone to watch
I would very strongly advise against arranging something behind her back. Please talk to her first. "
This ,please dont try and get her to do things she doesn't want to .It could all end very badly for you ,she deserves to at least have the chance to say yes or no. |
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By *harAndBryCouple
over a year ago
Peterborough / Stamford |
"I found this site when googled how to ask your wife you want to share her and it showed me some posts from the forum on this site"
I smell BS there. And even if it did show forum posts from here, you'd have skipped past a hell of a lot of results leading to pages about how to actually talk to your partner.
(Bry) |
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My god you are in a relationship with a lady whom you say you are not cheating and say you not cheating as you do not want to fuck another woman
Come on fella you may not be honest with your lady but its clear you do.
Cheating is not just the physical act but the thought of sex with another as I not buying what you are selling.
Lets suppose she made it clear she does not want to what then would you leave the site.
Would you hell.
If you got respect for her be upfront tell her you been on here see the reaction. |
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"How the hell do you ask your wife for a 3some I really want see another man fuck her it really turns me on thinking about it but I feel she will lose her head if I tell her please just tell me how you come out with it?"
Show her this thread that might help .. is she on here or are you perving secretly ? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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You can all believe what you want but she popped back not so long ago and I asked her if she wanted to go out in the car for some fun away from the kids and she had one big grin and said ok this may be a good start and I would never ever make her do something she didn’t want to I love her with all my heart I just don’t want hurt her Im not here to meet others I no my profile sort of looks that way I’ve been reading profiles for weeks now and by the sound of it looking at my profile none of you would meet me I would try make it better than that come on
Hopefully in the future I may have a profile I can meet on lol |
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"Someone just messaged me and if decided I’m gonna ask her if she wants to go out in car for some fun and see how she reacts and if she go’s for it I wanna see if it turns her on and if it does I’m go a ask her if she would like someone to watch"
Jesus wept, no, no and no again! Speak with her and have an honest conversation about your sex life. Explain what you feel and ask her what she wants from it. There's a very good chance she'll say no to an actual thresome but you never know, she might like to fantasise about it. If so you might have to accept that it remains just that. Who knows, she might even be happy for you to okay away from home on here with her permission. You'll never know until you ask. |
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"How the hell do you ask your wife for a 3some I really want see another man fuck her it really turns me on thinking about it but I feel she will lose her head if I tell her please just tell me how you come out with it?"
The usual route to swinging, threesomes, etc... is through talking about fantasies during foreplay & sex, and often discussing more seriously after sex.
Obviously it's an easy step whilst using a dildo during sex to ask "do you with this was another guy's cock"...
Cal |
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"You can all believe what you want but she popped back not so long ago and I asked her if she wanted to go out in the car for some fun away from the kids and she had one big grin and said ok this may be a good start and I would never ever make her do something she didn’t want to I love her with all my heart I just don’t want hurt her Im not here to meet others I no my profile sort of looks that way I’ve been reading profiles for weeks now and by the sound of it looking at my profile none of you would meet me I would try make it better than that come on
Hopefully in the future I may have a profile I can meet on lol"
Take her to a swingers club on a party night |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You can all believe what you want but she popped back not so long ago and I asked her if she wanted to go out in the car for some fun away from the kids and she had one big grin and said ok this may be a good start and I would never ever make her do something she didn’t want to I love her with all my heart I just don’t want hurt her Im not here to meet others I no my profile sort of looks that way I’ve been reading profiles for weeks now and by the sound of it looking at my profile none of you would meet me I would try make it better than that come on
Hopefully in the future I may have a profile I can meet on lol"
Jesus. Have you never heard of punctuation?
Have the conversation.
If she says no, she means ‘No’.
There’s plenty more you can do to spice up your sex life.
Take advantage of the Love Honey discount.
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"How the hell do you ask your wife for a 3some I really want see another man fuck her it really turns me on thinking about it but I feel she will lose her head if I tell her please just tell me how you come out with it?
The usual route to swinging, threesomes, etc... is through talking about fantasies during foreplay & sex, and often discussing more seriously after sex.
Obviously it's an easy step whilst using a dildo during sex to ask "do you with this was another guy's cock"...
Cal"
Agreed, my wife loves the idea but it's a long way from turning that fantasy into reality and you'll have to accept that's as far as it goes. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You can all believe what you want but she popped back not so long ago and I asked her if she wanted to go out in the car for some fun away from the kids and she had one big grin and said ok this may be a good start and I would never ever make her do something she didn’t want to I love her with all my heart I just don’t want hurt her Im not here to meet others I no my profile sort of looks that way I’ve been reading profiles for weeks now and by the sound of it looking at my profile none of you would meet me I would try make it better than that come on
Hopefully in the future I may have a profile I can meet on lol"
Your profile also states that you have been on the site before and “know how it works “  |
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"Someone just messaged me and if decided I’m gonna ask her if she wants to go out in car for some fun and see how she reacts and if she go’s for it I wanna see if it turns her on and if it does I’m go a ask her if she would like someone to watch"
Well if this happened - which I doubt - it is awful advice.
You are about to blow up your "relationship." |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Be careful OP is my only advice. You can't unsing that song.
Wanting to share her or inviting a 3rd in to your bed in any way will blow your 1-1 exclusive bond right out of the water.
If she doesn't share your feelings on this she could take it very very very personally that you are okay with another guy having her.
Be very very sure you understand her point of view on exclusivity.
 |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Ok so you all giving me mixed messages now and confusing me so last night before she went to her friends I asked her if she wanted to go out in the car for some fun away from kids and she had one big smile and said ok some one mentioned this to me btw to try as it could be a good start but then some of you was saying no don’t do this like it was a bad thing bearing in mind I would never ever ever make her do something she didn’t want to that some of you thought i was doing but anyway I fucked it up cuz when she come back from her friends I had already fell asleep but she seems to of been well up for it also sometimes when we are making love I’ll stick the dildo up her and kneel at the side of her and we will kiss and she will suck me off she really seems to enjoy this by pushing down harder on the dildo and the next day she will grab and tell me she enjoyed last night but that’s about as far as the conversation goes so I’m really confused on what to do I think it maybe just me and I’m not very good at talking |
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Best way is always going to be starting that conversation, after that long talking about fantasies shouldn't be that taboo, just ask if there's anything she wants to try, what you'd like to try, imo if you can't communicate then swinging isn't for you.
Mrs |
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"Ok so you all giving me mixed messages now and confusing me so last night before she went to her friends I asked her if she wanted to go out in the car for some fun away from kids and she had one big smile and said ok some one mentioned this to me btw to try as it could be a good start but then some of you was saying no don’t do this like it was a bad thing bearing in mind I would never ever ever make her do something she didn’t want to that some of you thought i was doing but anyway I fucked it up cuz when she come back from her friends I had already fell asleep but she seems to of been well up for it also sometimes when we are making love I’ll stick the dildo up her and kneel at the side of her and we will kiss and she will suck me off she really seems to enjoy this by pushing down harder on the dildo and the next day she will grab and tell me she enjoyed last night but that’s about as far as the conversation goes so I’m really confused on what to do I think it maybe just me and I’m not very good at talking"
Using & enjoy toys during sex isn't unusual & doesn't mean someone wants to invite a 3rd person into their bed but it also doesn't mean they don't
You really do need to expand on the conversation, while she's enjoying the toys ask what her fantasies are, share yours etc |
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"How the hell do you ask your wife for a 3some I really want see another man fuck her it really turns me on thinking about it but I feel she will lose her head if I tell her please just tell me how you come out with it?"
Ask her if her boyfriend would join you. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I really don’t no if she would or what she would say
She don’t watch porn well I don’t think so anyway and we never really speak when making love we just get on with it and no she don’t have clue I’m on here I’m so I think it’s never gonna happen is it really"
If you can't talk about sex afetr 15 yrs with her then I worry for you. |
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Slooow and gentle. Talk about sex in general, watch Naked attraction and discuss what you see. Mention that you came across an advert for a swinging club, 'how odd it seems' and see how she reacts. Skirt round the subject without diving in head first !. You need utmost trust between each other and a very strong bond... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
Using & enjoy toys during sex isn't unusual & doesn't mean someone wants to invite a 3rd person into their bed but it also doesn't mean they don't
You really do need to expand on the conversation, while she's enjoying the toys ask what her fantasies are, share yours etc "
This is good advice OP. |
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"Ok so you all giving me mixed messages now and confusing me so last night before she went to her friends I asked her if she wanted to go out in the car for some fun away from kids and she had one big smile and said ok "
You weren't just planning/hoping for sex in the car though, were you? At least be honest about your own intentions.
And you've received pretty consistent messages. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I told my wife a couple of weeks ago exactly the same scenario as you op I told her about my fantasy of seeing her with another guy she said it's not something she would be into right now but I told her and so it went well as she said if I feel more comfortable latter date I'll let you know I also said to her if you want to chat to other guys in a friendly way I would like that as this may help her feel comfortable as it would I taking slow steps just chatting with other guys is a step forward |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I’m not cheating as I’ve not been with anyone here I’m just browsing I found this site when googled how to ask your wife you want to share her and it showed me some posts from the forum on this site I’ve been reading peoples profiles for months that’s why I’m getting so turned on to share her that’s what I mean as well I want MMf not ffm I want a 3some with another man I don’t want fuck another woman"
Definitely talk to her. I was nervous about talking to my wife about it and she surprised me by saying she was interested. And here we are. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Ok so you all giving me mixed messages now and confusing me so last night before she went to her friends I asked her if she wanted to go out in the car for some fun away from kids and she had one big smile and said ok
You weren't just planning/hoping for sex in the car though, were you? At least be honest about your own intentions.
And you've received pretty consistent messages."
Well I wasn’t exactly Going to take her some where and say fuck this man for me was I please what do you take me for I’m not that stupid |
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"Well I wasn’t exactly Going to take her some where and say fuck this man for me was I please what do you take me for I’m not that stupid"
I didn't for one second imply you were stupid.
I did suggest that the way you described your plan lacked some vital details. And the actual plan was awful.
I also think you are showing an alarming inability to see things from your partner's perspective. So, if she actually exists, please go and talk to her. Better yet, listen. |
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By *omRachCouple
over a year ago
Wirral |
"I really don’t no if she would or what she would say
She don’t watch porn well I don’t think so anyway and we never really speak when making love we just get on with it and no she don’t have clue I’m on here I’m so I think it’s never gonna happen is it really"
Not necessarily, with the exception of not knowing about the site your current situation sounds like mine was at the start - since we started I have seen my wife with 3 different men.
I'm not saying you'll get the same result but what I WILL say (if you do decide to ask her) is to LISTEN to what she says and accept whatever answer/reason she gives you.
Good luck, |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Hubby brought it up while we were in bed. We have both had threesomes before we met each other so the thought of partner swapping wasn't so hard to approach. If you can't be pragmatic with your wife the communication needs work in all honesty. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"
I didn't for one second imply you were stupid.
I did suggest that the way you described your plan lacked some vital details. And the actual plan was awful.
I also think you are showing an alarming inability to see things from your partner's perspective. So, if she actually exists, please go and talk to her. Better yet, listen. "
Ok so I’m listening this weekend I’m gonna have good chat with her and just lay it all out on the table and tell her how I feel and ask her what she wants and if it’s a no then I’m gonna give up and never ask again and delete my account as keep reading trough these profiles just turns me on to much for something I can’t have thanks for all advise Steve |
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"Hey, babes, what do you think of having a threesomes? What, no, two blokes. Yeah. But... only I'm not one of them. Yeah. Yeah, I want to watch you get spit roasted by two other guys. I mean, yeah, maybe Dave from work could be one."
Something like that 
LvM |
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By *lecom1Couple
over a year ago
Stornoway |
There's no way around it. You have to sit down one evening in the lounge and talk it out. Could be the end of your marriage or a new chapter. Thoroughly analyse and think it through before you bring up the subject. Above all be honest to her. |
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"How the hell do you ask your wife for a 3some I really want see another man fuck her it really turns me on thinking about it but I feel she will lose her head if I tell her please just tell me how you come out with it?"
Tell her you had a dream about her fucking someone and when you woke up you realised you had enjoyed the dream.
If her face lights up, continue the chat. If it doesn’t …. well. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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""Hey, babes, what do you think of having a threesomes? What, no, two blokes. Yeah. But... only I'm not one of them. Yeah. Yeah, I want to watch you get spit roasted by two other guys. I mean, yeah, maybe Dave from work could be one."
Something like that
LvM"
I can only wish lol |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"There's no way around it. You have to sit down one evening in the lounge and talk it out. Could be the end of your marriage or a new chapter. Thoroughly analyse and think it through before you bring up the subject. Above all be honest to her."
Ok thanks for advice looks like I gotta lot of talking to do just gonna go for it thanks again |
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» Add a new message to this topic
Try to speak to her about sex, maybe about porn you watch. If any positive reaction - bring it further 
