FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Will I ever learn?
Will I ever learn?
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By *4DY-F OP Woman
over a year ago
Newcastle |
Haven’t met anyone 1on1 for years as was fed up of guys telling me what I wanted to hear and then me falling for it.
Finally met someone on Saturday who I got talking with at an organised social. He chased all week and eventually persuaded me to go out with him. We fucked… I’m now being ghosted. Hating myself right now for putting myself through it again!  |
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By *4DY-F OP Woman
over a year ago
Newcastle |
"I feel exactly the same as you so it's a universal problem in todays disposable world. Everything is superficial and throw away and that includes people."
It’s fucking shit. I feel so foolish |
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By *4DY-F OP Woman
over a year ago
Newcastle |
"Just another bored married guy cheating no doubt, so cuts you off and moves onto the next victim
"
He’s single. Offered for me to stay over at his and was free all week for a ‘date’. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I’m really sorry you’ve gone through this again OP, you’re definitely not alone, I’ve been through it more often than not and it’s the reason I’m currently not meeting |
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By *4DY-F OP Woman
over a year ago
Newcastle |
"I’m really sorry you’ve gone through this again OP, you’re definitely not alone, I’ve been through it more often than not and it’s the reason I’m currently not meeting "
It’s shit when you feel you’re now better at reading people and their motives. Why can’t I (we) meet someone genuine?! X |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I’m really sorry you’ve gone through this again OP, you’re definitely not alone, I’ve been through it more often than not and it’s the reason I’m currently not meeting
It’s shit when you feel you’re now better at reading people and their motives. Why can’t I (we) meet someone genuine?! X"
There is consolation in knowing it’s a widespread issue more than something wrong with us as individuals, so it’s ok to feel better 
I suppose we will find what we’re looking for eventually, it sucks having to kiss so many frogs in the meantime xx |
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By *4DY-F OP Woman
over a year ago
Newcastle |
"I’m really sorry you’ve gone through this again OP, you’re definitely not alone, I’ve been through it more often than not and it’s the reason I’m currently not meeting
It’s shit when you feel you’re now better at reading people and their motives. Why can’t I (we) meet someone genuine?! X
There is consolation in knowing it’s a widespread issue more than something wrong with us as individuals, so it’s ok to feel better
I suppose we will find what we’re looking for eventually, it sucks having to kiss so many frogs in the meantime xx"
Thank you. I hope you find who and what you’re looking for as well x |
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By *litterbabeWoman
over a year ago
hiding from cock pics |
"Haven’t met anyone 1on1 for years as was fed up of guys telling me what I wanted to hear and then me falling for it.
Finally met someone on Saturday who I got talking with at an organised social. He chased all week and eventually persuaded me to go out with him. We fucked… I’m now being ghosted. Hating myself right now for putting myself through it again! "
Sorry this has happened to you and I also hate that it is kind of normal on here to behave like that.
It happens so many times. |
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By *4DY-F OP Woman
over a year ago
Newcastle |
"Haven’t met anyone 1on1 for years as was fed up of guys telling me what I wanted to hear and then me falling for it.
Finally met someone on Saturday who I got talking with at an organised social. He chased all week and eventually persuaded me to go out with him. We fucked… I’m now being ghosted. Hating myself right now for putting myself through it again!
Sorry this has happened to you and I also hate that it is kind of normal on here to behave like that.
It happens so many times."
Ironically (some) men want a confident woman when it’s usually their own behaviour that causes a lot of the self esteem issues |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Haven’t met anyone 1on1 for years as was fed up of guys telling me what I wanted to hear and then me falling for it.
Finally met someone on Saturday who I got talking with at an organised social. He chased all week and eventually persuaded me to go out with him. We fucked… I’m now being ghosted. Hating myself right now for putting myself through it again! "
On behalf of guys who do this- sorry!
Don’t take it personally.
Sometimes it’s the joy of the chase.
Once we’ve got what we want, the drive is gone.
Ladies who I have wanted to see for more will have something additional to the sex (gsoh etc., or leaving me wanting more)
There are some decent guys around, even on here, but the other 99.9999999% are complete shits. |
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By *4DY-F OP Woman
over a year ago
Newcastle |
"Haven’t met anyone 1on1 for years as was fed up of guys telling me what I wanted to hear and then me falling for it.
Finally met someone on Saturday who I got talking with at an organised social. He chased all week and eventually persuaded me to go out with him. We fucked… I’m now being ghosted. Hating myself right now for putting myself through it again!
On behalf of guys who do this- sorry!
Don’t take it personally.
Sometimes it’s the joy of the chase.
Once we’ve got what we want, the drive is gone.
Ladies who I have wanted to see for more will have something additional to the sex (gsoh etc., or leaving me wanting more)
There are some decent guys around, even on here, but the other 99.9999999% are complete shits."
Thank you.
It feels like being ‘tricked’ at times |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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To play devils advocate….
This is not a dating site.
Now, I have no idea what was discussed before hand about future expectations but it sounds to me as if you’re looking for something more than just sex? In which case this site may not be the place to look for it.
Ghosting is horrid though.  |
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By *4DY-F OP Woman
over a year ago
Newcastle |
"To play devils advocate….
This is not a dating site.
Now, I have no idea what was discussed before hand about future expectations but it sounds to me as if you’re looking for something more than just sex? In which case this site may not be the place to look for it.
Ghosting is horrid though. "
Yeh, we had a long chat about things. |
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"Just another bored married guy cheating no doubt, so cuts you off and moves onto the next victim
He’s single. Offered for me to stay over at his and was free all week for a ‘date’. "
Maybe it's because he knows he can't follow through with the offer. |
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By *4DY-F OP Woman
over a year ago
Newcastle |
"Just another bored married guy cheating no doubt, so cuts you off and moves onto the next victim
He’s single. Offered for me to stay over at his and was free all week for a ‘date’.
Maybe it's because he knows he can't follow through with the offer. "
And I get that, it’s the zero contact that has gotten to me |
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By *4DY-F OP Woman
over a year ago
Newcastle |
"It's horrible when this happens.
You never know what you did so bad as to deserve being ignored.
.
Hugs"
It doesn’t feel very nice right now, but it’s not as though it’s the first time it’s happened.
Thank you |
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By *hunky GentMan
over a year ago
Maldon and Peterborough |
"It's horrible when this happens.
You never know what you did so bad as to deserve being ignored.
.
Hugs
It doesn’t feel very nice right now, but it’s not as though it’s the first time it’s happened.
Thank you "
Always happy to chat. If you want to talk.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think there is some generalisation in this thread that sounds horrid to me. If you don’t use this place as a dating site, that’s fine, but don’t demonise those who do, for example I f it’s the case of the OP. We are all here for a number of different reasons, and no one should judge no one, specially in a thread where a person is being vulnerable and clearly has been led on by someone.
If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all. |
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OP, this also happened to me a couple of times back in the day when I actually met
In my experience, they always reappear. Always come back with some shit excuse
DONT, fall for it a second time
Pick yourself up, dust yourself down, square your shoulders and pull on your big girl pants.
You’re better than him. Hands down. |
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"Haven’t met anyone 1on1 for years as was fed up of guys telling me what I wanted to hear and then me falling for it.
Finally met someone on Saturday who I got talking with at an organised social. He chased all week and eventually persuaded me to go out with him. We fucked… I’m now being ghosted. Hating myself right now for putting myself through it again! "
If it's any consolation; I've been let down 4 times over the last 3 weeks, by single females. It is what it is, don't take it personally, just block him and move on. You've a great figure, you will attract plenty of attention I'm sure |
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By *4DY-F OP Woman
over a year ago
Newcastle |
"I think you are getting attached to an idea of a relationship too quickly even outside fab world one hook-up should be read as just that. However, if communication continues maybe there is more
"
Nope. You can read on my bio what it is I’m looking for and what was discussed for 7 days prior to meeting up |
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By *4DY-F OP Woman
over a year ago
Newcastle |
"It's horrible when this happens.
You never know what you did so bad as to deserve being ignored.
.
Hugs
It doesn’t feel very nice right now, but it’s not as though it’s the first time it’s happened.
Thank you
Always happy to chat. If you want to talk. "
Thank you |
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By *4DY-F OP Woman
over a year ago
Newcastle |
"I think there is some generalisation in this thread that sounds horrid to me. If you don’t use this place as a dating site, that’s fine, but don’t demonise those who do, for example I f it’s the case of the OP. We are all here for a number of different reasons, and no one should judge no one, specially in a thread where a person is being vulnerable and clearly has been led on by someone.
If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all."
Thank you |
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By *4DY-F OP Woman
over a year ago
Newcastle |
"OP, this also happened to me a couple of times back in the day when I actually met
In my experience, they always reappear. Always come back with some shit excuse
DONT, fall for it a second time
Pick yourself up, dust yourself down, square your shoulders and pull on your big girl pants.
You’re better than him. Hands down. "
Thank you. |
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By *4DY-F OP Woman
over a year ago
Newcastle |
"Haven’t met anyone 1on1 for years as was fed up of guys telling me what I wanted to hear and then me falling for it.
Finally met someone on Saturday who I got talking with at an organised social. He chased all week and eventually persuaded me to go out with him. We fucked… I’m now being ghosted. Hating myself right now for putting myself through it again!
If it's any consolation; I've been let down 4 times over the last 3 weeks, by single females. It is what it is, don't take it personally, just block him and move on. You've a great figure, you will attract plenty of attention I'm sure "
What, after a load of communication and sex?… |
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By *4DY-F OP Woman
over a year ago
Newcastle |
"Maybe arrange a social first. It doesn't guarantee it won't happen but it slows the process down which does help to out those who are just out for a 1 night stand. "
Once I feel brave enough and back on my feet I shall use your advice. Thank you |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I’m really sorry you’ve gone through this again OP, you’re definitely not alone, I’ve been through it more often than not and it’s the reason I’m currently not meeting
It’s shit when you feel you’re now better at reading people and their motives. Why can’t I (we) meet someone genuine?! X"
Its very difficult to meet genuine on Fab. The very nature of the site means that most are only looking for the physical rather than anything of any real depth. Fun rather than depth. |
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By *4DY-F OP Woman
over a year ago
Newcastle |
"I’m really sorry you’ve gone through this again OP, you’re definitely not alone, I’ve been through it more often than not and it’s the reason I’m currently not meeting
It’s shit when you feel you’re now better at reading people and their motives. Why can’t I (we) meet someone genuine?! X Its very difficult to meet genuine on Fab. The very nature of the site means that most are only looking for the physical rather than anything of any real depth. Fun rather than depth. "
Yes, that’s the reason I very rarely meet anyone. Some people have a way of grabbing my attention and I pay for it afterwards. |
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"If this keeps happening then you really need to look at what values and qualities you are finding attractive in these guys.
It’s usually the ones they lie about…"
Plus I would say one thing, you have managed to cram a fair bit in this month already haven’t you !  |
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"If this keeps happening then you really need to look at what values and qualities you are finding attractive in these guys.
It’s usually the ones they lie about…"
I'm sorry to hear that hunnie you will find the right one one day as you look a pretty looking lady from ur photos just don't let it get you down and beat urself up over what happened x |
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By *issmorganWoman
over a year ago
Calderdale innit |
"Maybe arrange a social first. It doesn't guarantee it won't happen but it slows the process down which does help to out those who are just out for a 1 night stand.
Once I feel brave enough and back on my feet I shall use your advice. Thank you "
Sorry this has happened op I'd deffo agree about having socials
It often cuts out the people who want quick fun ,I used to find so when I was single anyway. |
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By *4DY-F OP Woman
over a year ago
Newcastle |
"If this keeps happening then you really need to look at what values and qualities you are finding attractive in these guys.
It’s usually the ones they lie about…
Plus I would say one thing, you have managed to cram a fair bit in this month already haven’t you ! "
The Newcastle social and a club visit. Wouldn’t say I’d ‘rammed’ that much in. |
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By *4DY-F OP Woman
over a year ago
Newcastle |
"If this keeps happening then you really need to look at what values and qualities you are finding attractive in these guys.
It’s usually the ones they lie about…I'm sorry to hear that hunnie you will find the right one one day as you look a pretty looking lady from ur photos just don't let it get you down and beat urself up over what happened x"
Thank you |
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By *4DY-F OP Woman
over a year ago
Newcastle |
"Maybe arrange a social first. It doesn't guarantee it won't happen but it slows the process down which does help to out those who are just out for a 1 night stand.
Once I feel brave enough and back on my feet I shall use your advice. Thank you
Sorry this has happened op I'd deffo agree about having socials
It often cuts out the people who want quick fun ,I used to find so when I was single anyway."
I met him at a social. Nothing happened that night but we kept in touch all week and now nothing |
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By *issmorganWoman
over a year ago
Calderdale innit |
"Maybe arrange a social first. It doesn't guarantee it won't happen but it slows the process down which does help to out those who are just out for a 1 night stand.
Once I feel brave enough and back on my feet I shall use your advice. Thank you
Sorry this has happened op I'd deffo agree about having socials
It often cuts out the people who want quick fun ,I used to find so when I was single anyway.
I met him at a social. Nothing happened that night but we kept in touch all week and now nothing "
So it feels like he got what he wanted then
It's not a good feeling op . |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Im sorry that this has happend to you, sadly it seems alot of guys do this and then us decent chaps get tarred with the same brush.
I do hope you find somrone better next time. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I’m really sorry you’ve gone through this again OP, you’re definitely not alone, I’ve been through it more often than not and it’s the reason I’m currently not meeting
It’s shit when you feel you’re now better at reading people and their motives. Why can’t I (we) meet someone genuine?! X"
You haven’t met the right person yet. It will happen I’m sure. It’s easy to be seduced into doing the deed and then wonder was it worth it when you’re ready for a rerun except they have been got what the wanted and left.
This panda doesn’t just eat shoots and leaves.. this panda remains around for encores..
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By *4DY-F OP Woman
over a year ago
Newcastle |
"Maybe arrange a social first. It doesn't guarantee it won't happen but it slows the process down which does help to out those who are just out for a 1 night stand.
Once I feel brave enough and back on my feet I shall use your advice. Thank you
Sorry this has happened op I'd deffo agree about having socials
It often cuts out the people who want quick fun ,I used to find so when I was single anyway.
I met him at a social. Nothing happened that night but we kept in touch all week and now nothing
So it feels like he got what he wanted then
It's not a good feeling op ."
Yes exactly this. |
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By *4DY-F OP Woman
over a year ago
Newcastle |
"Im sorry that this has happend to you, sadly it seems alot of guys do this and then us decent chaps get tarred with the same brush.
I do hope you find somrone better next time."
Not all guys are like this, I have met some guys who were decent, but weren’t for me. I wouldn’t ghost them though. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Maybe arrange a social first. It doesn't guarantee it won't happen but it slows the process down which does help to out those who are just out for a 1 night stand.
Once I feel brave enough and back on my feet I shall use your advice. Thank you
Sorry this has happened op I'd deffo agree about having socials
It often cuts out the people who want quick fun ,I used to find so when I was single anyway.
I met him at a social. Nothing happened that night but we kept in touch all week and now nothing
So it feels like he got what he wanted then
It's not a good feeling op .
Yes exactly this. "
I really do feel for you feeling like this. It’s not good. I hope you find someone better next time. Just don’t beat yourself up over it cause it’s their problem not yours ok. |
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By *4DY-F OP Woman
over a year ago
Newcastle |
"I’m really sorry you’ve gone through this again OP, you’re definitely not alone, I’ve been through it more often than not and it’s the reason I’m currently not meeting
It’s shit when you feel you’re now better at reading people and their motives. Why can’t I (we) meet someone genuine?! X
You haven’t met the right person yet. It will happen I’m sure. It’s easy to be seduced into doing the deed and then wonder was it worth it when you’re ready for a rerun except they have been got what the wanted and left.
This panda doesn’t just eat shoots and leaves.. this panda remains around for encores..
"
It’s more maddening that I had spoke to his out why I hadn’t been meeting and my trust issues. I left myself vulnerable for him to do exactly the same. |
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By *4DY-F OP Woman
over a year ago
Newcastle |
"Maybe arrange a social first. It doesn't guarantee it won't happen but it slows the process down which does help to out those who are just out for a 1 night stand.
Once I feel brave enough and back on my feet I shall use your advice. Thank you
Sorry this has happened op I'd deffo agree about having socials
It often cuts out the people who want quick fun ,I used to find so when I was single anyway.
I met him at a social. Nothing happened that night but we kept in touch all week and now nothing
So it feels like he got what he wanted then
It's not a good feeling op .
Yes exactly this.
I really do feel for you feeling like this. It’s not good. I hope you find someone better next time. Just don’t beat yourself up over it cause it’s their problem not yours ok."
It’s all too much hard work, what? Another few years of not meeting… |
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Sorry to hear that OP. Boils our piss when people can’t be straight with others. We’ve been on the receiving end and it’s shit. Nothing more to stay other than we hope you can put this behind you and not let it drag you down.
There are decent people on this site - it’s finding them that’s the problem. Hope you’re ok x |
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By *host63Man
over a year ago
Bedfont Feltham |
"Haven’t met anyone 1on1 for years as was fed up of guys telling me what I wanted to hear and then me falling for it.
Finally met someone on Saturday who I got talking with at an organised social. He chased all week and eventually persuaded me to go out with him. We fucked… I’m now being ghosted. Hating myself right now for putting myself through it again! "
Sent you a PM but do keep your spirits up. Don't let one idiot bring you down. |
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By *4DY-F OP Woman
over a year ago
Newcastle |
"Sorry to hear that OP. Boils our piss when people can’t be straight with others. We’ve been on the receiving end and it’s shit. Nothing more to stay other than we hope you can put this behind you and not let it drag you down.
There are decent people on this site - it’s finding them that’s the problem. Hope you’re ok x"
Thank you. I will be okay, I’m just feeling a bit sad and confused right now. X |
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"Sorry to hear that OP. Boils our piss when people can’t be straight with others. We’ve been on the receiving end and it’s shit. Nothing more to stay other than we hope you can put this behind you and not let it drag you down.
There are decent people on this site - it’s finding them that’s the problem. Hope you’re ok x
Thank you. I will be okay, I’m just feeling a bit sad and confused right now. X"
Sending hugs x |
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By *4DY-F OP Woman
over a year ago
Newcastle |
"Sorry to hear that OP. Boils our piss when people can’t be straight with others. We’ve been on the receiving end and it’s shit. Nothing more to stay other than we hope you can put this behind you and not let it drag you down.
There are decent people on this site - it’s finding them that’s the problem. Hope you’re ok x
Thank you. I will be okay, I’m just feeling a bit sad and confused right now. X
Sending hugs x"
Thank you. He hasn’t even had the decency to block me on here or on WhatsApp either. More confusion x |
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"Sorry to hear that OP. Boils our piss when people can’t be straight with others. We’ve been on the receiving end and it’s shit. Nothing more to stay other than we hope you can put this behind you and not let it drag you down.
There are decent people on this site - it’s finding them that’s the problem. Hope you’re ok x
Thank you. I will be okay, I’m just feeling a bit sad and confused right now. X
Sending hugs x
Thank you. He hasn’t even had the decency to block me on here or on WhatsApp either. More confusion x"
It’s baffling and another twist of the knife. A simple ‘sorry, this isn’t going to lead anywhere’ isn’t what anyone wants to hear, but ghosting is just cruel and unnecessary. Is it too much to ask that people treat others how they’d like to be treated? Really feel for you x |
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By *4DY-F OP Woman
over a year ago
Newcastle |
"Sorry to hear that OP. Boils our piss when people can’t be straight with others. We’ve been on the receiving end and it’s shit. Nothing more to stay other than we hope you can put this behind you and not let it drag you down.
There are decent people on this site - it’s finding them that’s the problem. Hope you’re ok x
Thank you. I will be okay, I’m just feeling a bit sad and confused right now. X
Sending hugs x
Thank you. He hasn’t even had the decency to block me on here or on WhatsApp either. More confusion x
It’s baffling and another twist of the knife. A simple ‘sorry, this isn’t going to lead anywhere’ isn’t what anyone wants to hear, but ghosting is just cruel and unnecessary. Is it too much to ask that people treat others how they’d like to be treated? Really feel for you x"
Yes, rejection isn’t nice to hear, but I and probably most people would rather that than silence.
I get silence is a reply in its own way, but still |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Why the fuck would anyone ghost you! Gorgeous!"
This slimeball has got what he wanted and to fuck with what she wanted.. a simple reply sorry but not what I want right now would at least show a caring side but that’s too much for some guys.. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I think there is some generalisation in this thread that sounds horrid to me. If you don’t use this place as a dating site, that’s fine, but don’t demonise those who do, for example I f it’s the case of the OP. We are all here for a number of different reasons, and no one should judge no one, specially in a thread where a person is being vulnerable and clearly has been led on by someone.
If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all."
Who was demonising her though? He was only giving another perspective on the situation. He wasn't being nasty or vindictive about it. We are all adults here and should be able to read different views without it escalating.
Sorry this happened to you btw, the guy is an idiot. His loss! |
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"Haven’t met anyone 1on1 for years as was fed up of guys telling me what I wanted to hear and then me falling for it.
Finally met someone on Saturday who I got talking with at an organised social. He chased all week and eventually persuaded me to go out with him. We fucked… I’m now being ghosted. Hating myself right now for putting myself through it again! "
Sorry to hear that. Some absolute Ass holes about unfortunately.
Keep your chin up and soldier on. Eventually you will find what you are looking for. |
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By *4DY-F OP Woman
over a year ago
Newcastle |
"Sorry this had happened to you OP, this is why I take ages to meet (when I was meeting) if they aren't interested in chatting for a while then they are definitely not for me x"
I certainly need to change the way I’ve done things x |
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By *4DY-F OP Woman
over a year ago
Newcastle |
"Haven’t met anyone 1on1 for years as was fed up of guys telling me what I wanted to hear and then me falling for it.
Finally met someone on Saturday who I got talking with at an organised social. He chased all week and eventually persuaded me to go out with him. We fucked… I’m now being ghosted. Hating myself right now for putting myself through it again!
Sorry to hear that. Some absolute Ass holes about unfortunately.
Keep your chin up and soldier on. Eventually you will find what you are looking for. "
Thank you |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"It’s not a dating site so what were you expecting?"
Again, if you have nothing nice to say, why say something so rude? Then couples question why they can’t find single women to meet |
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By *4DY-F OP Woman
over a year ago
Newcastle |
"It’s not a dating site so what were you expecting?
Again, if you have nothing nice to say, why say something so rude? Then couples question why they can’t find single women to meet "
 exactly x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I wouldn't worry too much.
Did you enjoy it? Did he promise more than just a fuck?
It's shitty to ghost don't get me wrong, but at least you didn't invest too much into the relationship. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"It’s not a dating site so what were you expecting?
Again, if you have nothing nice to say, why say something so rude? Then couples question why they can’t find single women to meet "
|
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By *4DY-F OP Woman
over a year ago
Newcastle |
"I wouldn't worry too much.
Did you enjoy it? Did he promise more than just a fuck?
It's shitty to ghost don't get me wrong, but at least you didn't invest too much into the relationship."
We spoke about what we were both looking for, I was being honest - he clearly wasn’t. It’s not as though he hadn’t seen or spoke to me in person before all of this either.
It’s shit that it’s taken me so long to like someone all for this to happen again! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Sorry to hear that OP. Boils our piss when people can’t be straight with others. We’ve been on the receiving end and it’s shit. Nothing more to stay other than we hope you can put this behind you and not let it drag you down.
There are decent people on this site - it’s finding them that’s the problem. Hope you’re ok x
Thank you. I will be okay, I’m just feeling a bit sad and confused right now. X
Sending hugs x
Thank you. He hasn’t even had the decency to block me on here or on WhatsApp either. More confusion x"
How long has it been since no response? I'll admit I'm guilty of not getting back to folk for a few days if it's been hectic |
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By *4DY-F OP Woman
over a year ago
Newcastle |
"Sorry to hear that OP. Boils our piss when people can’t be straight with others. We’ve been on the receiving end and it’s shit. Nothing more to stay other than we hope you can put this behind you and not let it drag you down.
There are decent people on this site - it’s finding them that’s the problem. Hope you’re ok x
Thank you. I will be okay, I’m just feeling a bit sad and confused right now. X
Sending hugs x
Thank you. He hasn’t even had the decency to block me on here or on WhatsApp either. More confusion x
How long has it been since no response? I'll admit I'm guilty of not getting back to folk for a few days if it's been hectic "
Saturday x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Just take a step back from getting too emotionally connected and effectively use them for your gain. "
Emotional connection doesn’t necessarily mean wanting a relationship. I could not ever have sex with someone I don’t feel a connection with but I don’t want commitment. Not mutually excluding |
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I don't understand why you all think guys actually respect you on here? Lol this is a fuck site end of story. Sorry it happened to you, again. Let's hope you join the Real world of fab soon so your feelings stop being trampled on. |
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By *anny Boy31Man
over a year ago
Belfast all over the Uk and Ireland |
"Just take a step back from getting too emotionally connected and effectively use them for your gain.
This is hard to do as I feel the sex is shit without a connection. "
Not a nice thing for him to do regardless. It’s no wonder us singletons have a mammoth task getting a meet here. ( Me anyway)  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
It’s not you that needs to learn it’s these men who should have the balls to stand up and tell you they just want a one off. It’s their disgusting lying behaviour that’s at fault not your trusting nature. You just take everything any man says with a piece of salt that’s what I do. Don’t beat yourself up about it. |
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By *anLotalMan
over a year ago
Godalming |
I'm exactly like you and get invested too much, you just need to remember it's not anything wrong with you as a person. some people are genuinely horrific at confrontation and would rather spare their own feelings at the cost of yours because they're pretty shitty people. Just need to keep shoveling through the shit until you find people you like, don't let them spoilt it for you. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I do agree with your comment too,
Ghosting really sucks
I think some ladies & men are looking for happily ever after, but need to realise this is a swingers site not a dating site  |
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By *4DY-F OP Woman
over a year ago
Newcastle |
"I don't understand why you all think guys actually respect you on here? Lol this is a fuck site end of story. Sorry it happened to you, again. Let's hope you join the Real world of fab soon so your feelings stop being trampled on."
No need to lie to people though is there! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I don't understand why you all think guys actually respect you on here? Lol this is a fuck site end of story. Sorry it happened to you, again. Let's hope you join the Real world of fab soon so your feelings stop being trampled on."
So now is her fault? It is people like you who make this site much worse it ought to be.
Blocked list is getting immense thanks to this thread
|
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By *4DY-F OP Woman
over a year ago
Newcastle |
"It’s not you that needs to learn it’s these men who should have the balls to stand up and tell you they just want a one off. It’s their disgusting lying behaviour that’s at fault not your trusting nature. You just take everything any man says with a piece of salt that’s what I do. Don’t beat yourself up about it. "
Thank you. I don’t want commitment, but one offs aren’t great! |
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By *4DY-F OP Woman
over a year ago
Newcastle |
"I'm exactly like you and get invested too much, you just need to remember it's not anything wrong with you as a person. some people are genuinely horrific at confrontation and would rather spare their own feelings at the cost of yours because they're pretty shitty people. Just need to keep shoveling through the shit until you find people you like, don't let them spoilt it for you. "
It’s just the thought of me believing what he said that’s gotten to me. No need for the games x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"It’s not you that needs to learn it’s these men who should have the balls to stand up and tell you they just want a one off. It’s their disgusting lying behaviour that’s at fault not your trusting nature. You just take everything any man says with a piece of salt that’s what I do. Don’t beat yourself up about it.
Thank you. I don’t want commitment, but one offs aren’t great! "
I notice people are hung up on “this isn’t a dating site” like you I’m not looking for commitment but I am looking for a friends with benefits to go to clubs and meet other people with, that doesn’t work with one offs |
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By *anny Boy31Man
over a year ago
Belfast all over the Uk and Ireland |
"It’s not you that needs to learn it’s these men who should have the balls to stand up and tell you they just want a one off. It’s their disgusting lying behaviour that’s at fault not your trusting nature. You just take everything any man says with a piece of salt that’s what I do. Don’t beat yourself up about it.
Thank you. I don’t want commitment, but one offs aren’t great!
I notice people are hung up on “this isn’t a dating site” like you I’m not looking for commitment but I am looking for a friends with benefits to go to clubs and meet other people with, that doesn’t work with one offs "
|
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By *4DY-F OP Woman
over a year ago
Newcastle |
"It’s not you that needs to learn it’s these men who should have the balls to stand up and tell you they just want a one off. It’s their disgusting lying behaviour that’s at fault not your trusting nature. You just take everything any man says with a piece of salt that’s what I do. Don’t beat yourself up about it.
Thank you. I don’t want commitment, but one offs aren’t great!
I notice people are hung up on “this isn’t a dating site” like you I’m not looking for commitment but I am looking for a friends with benefits to go to clubs and meet other people with, that doesn’t work with one offs "
This ^ is exactly what I’m looking for too x |
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"It’s not you that needs to learn it’s these men who should have the balls to stand up and tell you they just want a one off. It’s their disgusting lying behaviour that’s at fault not your trusting nature. You just take everything any man says with a piece of salt that’s what I do. Don’t beat yourself up about it.
Thank you. I don’t want commitment, but one offs aren’t great!
I notice people are hung up on “this isn’t a dating site” like you I’m not looking for commitment but I am looking for a friends with benefits to go to clubs and meet other people with, that doesn’t work with one offs "
This is very true. Just because most people here aren't looking for The One, white wedding and all, doesn't mean that we don't have feelings. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"It’s not you that needs to learn it’s these men who should have the balls to stand up and tell you they just want a one off. It’s their disgusting lying behaviour that’s at fault not your trusting nature. You just take everything any man says with a piece of salt that’s what I do. Don’t beat yourself up about it.
Thank you. I don’t want commitment, but one offs aren’t great!
I notice people are hung up on “this isn’t a dating site” like you I’m not looking for commitment but I am looking for a friends with benefits to go to clubs and meet other people with, that doesn’t work with one offs
This is very true. Just because most people here aren't looking for The One, white wedding and all, doesn't mean that we don't have feelings. "
|
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By *anLotalMan
over a year ago
Godalming |
People not mature enough to split emotion and relationships i think, which is really weird because sex is way better when you know someone well enough to know what makes them tick. Just see it as them missing out i guess! |
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By *anny Boy31Man
over a year ago
Belfast all over the Uk and Ireland |
Sometimes life throws you a curveball and what you think your getting isn’t exactly all that. Take it as a lesson learnt and move forward. Your gonna get the odd knob who finds it acceptable to treat people like crap. Ghosting is a rotten way of playing this game. Don’t be afraid to call him out for it |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"It’s not you that needs to learn it’s these men who should have the balls to stand up and tell you they just want a one off. It’s their disgusting lying behaviour that’s at fault not your trusting nature. You just take everything any man says with a piece of salt that’s what I do. Don’t beat yourself up about it.
Thank you. I don’t want commitment, but one offs aren’t great!
I notice people are hung up on “this isn’t a dating site” like you I’m not looking for commitment but I am looking for a friends with benefits to go to clubs and meet other people with, that doesn’t work with one offs
This ^ is exactly what I’m looking for too x"
Me three!... Far better to have a regular mate I can meet up with when we're both free, and do cpls meets/clubs. But hey good luck to those guys who only want the few and far between one offs.. Because you know just a sex site ho hum  |
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"It’s not you that needs to learn it’s these men who should have the balls to stand up and tell you they just want a one off. It’s their disgusting lying behaviour that’s at fault not your trusting nature. You just take everything any man says with a piece of salt that’s what I do. Don’t beat yourself up about it. "
Maybe there's actually a lesson in there though |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Well, it's all been said already so there isn't much left to cover.
Maybe reflect on what you want and how you go about getting it. What can you change to try and filter out those you don't want, how can you pick up on the signals a little earlier.
Ultimately, this can happen, has happened and may well happen again. That doesn't mean it will every time though.
Dust yourself off, try not to dwell and be a little more circumspect in the future.
Add a few more hoops for them to jump through before you get into bed with them, like your name tattooed on them, going over for Xmas Dinner to meet the family or matching suits.
Or something.
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"It’s not you that needs to learn it’s these men who should have the balls to stand up and tell you they just want a one off. It’s their disgusting lying behaviour that’s at fault not your trusting nature. You just take everything any man says with a piece of salt that’s what I do. Don’t beat yourself up about it.
Thank you. I don’t want commitment, but one offs aren’t great!
I notice people are hung up on “this isn’t a dating site” like you I’m not looking for commitment but I am looking for a friends with benefits to go to clubs and meet other people with, that doesn’t work with one offs
This ^ is exactly what I’m looking for too x
Me three!... Far better to have a regular mate I can meet up with when we're both free, and do cpls meets/clubs. But hey good luck to those guys who only want the few and far between one offs.. Because you know just a sex site ho hum "
Me four  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I wouldn't worry too much.
Did you enjoy it? Did he promise more than just a fuck?
It's shitty to ghost don't get me wrong, but at least you didn't invest too much into the relationship.
We spoke about what we were both looking for, I was being honest - he clearly wasn’t. It’s not as though he hadn’t seen or spoke to me in person before all of this either.
It’s shit that it’s taken me so long to like someone all for this to happen again! "
I'm sorry he did that to you.
Be thankful you didn't get any deeper with him and that it was only a week. You'll be OK again soon enough.
For me, honesty is so important. But I don't think this is the best place to look for sex, most men just tell you what you want to hear and will say anything to get in your fanny.
But maybe there are some good ones floating around, and I hope you find one soon. |
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We’re on here as a couple so although not looking to date I do want to build a connection with someone as fuck and go meets do nothing for me. That might be a turn on for some but I need my mind stimulated too.
I don’t think OP is asking for much and she was clear too. That said if he changed his mind after the meet then that’s fine too but why can’t he just be honest. I’m sure most people would prefer that rather than being ghosted. Just treat people with respect.
Kx |
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"Haven’t met anyone 1on1 for years as was fed up of guys telling me what I wanted to hear and then me falling for it.
Finally met someone on Saturday who I got talking with at an organised social. He chased all week and eventually persuaded me to go out with him. We fucked… I’m now being ghosted. Hating myself right now for putting myself through it again! "
Sorry this has happened to you. It's not fair and dam right rudeness.
You are certaibly not alone in this experience and unfortunately ghosting is not limited to just single males, we've had it happen to us by other couples.
But we have also found some true gems out there, we are determined not to be put off by one to two bad experiences.
"to find a gem, a few stones need to be turned over first"
|
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By *4DY-F OP Woman
over a year ago
Newcastle |
"It’s not you that needs to learn it’s these men who should have the balls to stand up and tell you they just want a one off. It’s their disgusting lying behaviour that’s at fault not your trusting nature. You just take everything any man says with a piece of salt that’s what I do. Don’t beat yourself up about it.
Thank you. I don’t want commitment, but one offs aren’t great!
I notice people are hung up on “this isn’t a dating site” like you I’m not looking for commitment but I am looking for a friends with benefits to go to clubs and meet other people with, that doesn’t work with one offs
This is very true. Just because most people here aren't looking for The One, white wedding and all, doesn't mean that we don't have feelings. "
|
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|
By *4DY-F OP Woman
over a year ago
Newcastle |
"Well, it's all been said already so there isn't much left to cover.
Maybe reflect on what you want and how you go about getting it. What can you change to try and filter out those you don't want, how can you pick up on the signals a little earlier.
Ultimately, this can happen, has happened and may well happen again. That doesn't mean it will every time though.
Dust yourself off, try not to dwell and be a little more circumspect in the future.
Add a few more hoops for them to jump through before you get into bed with them, like your name tattooed on them, going over for Xmas Dinner to meet the family or matching suits.
Or something.
"
Yes, things will definitely have to change.
|
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|
By *4DY-F OP Woman
over a year ago
Newcastle |
"Haven’t met anyone 1on1 for years as was fed up of guys telling me what I wanted to hear and then me falling for it.
Finally met someone on Saturday who I got talking with at an organised social. He chased all week and eventually persuaded me to go out with him. We fucked… I’m now being ghosted. Hating myself right now for putting myself through it again!
Sorry this has happened to you. It's not fair and dam right rudeness.
You are certaibly not alone in this experience and unfortunately ghosting is not limited to just single males, we've had it happen to us by other couples.
But we have also found some true gems out there, we are determined not to be put off by one to two bad experiences.
"to find a gem, a few stones need to be turned over first"
"
Thank you. I was all for giving up, but today I’m feeling more determined to find what I’m looking for x |
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By *jonesMan
over a year ago
Plymouth |
So sorry to hear, you do need a thick skin on here , politeness and charm and humour are characteristics I like most in people and I struggle when people are (rarely luckily) rude to me.
You sound a lovely character , don't take it to heart , he's a rude twit .. there are lots of nice folk out there as well |
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By *4DY-F OP Woman
over a year ago
Newcastle |
"So sorry to hear, you do need a thick skin on here , politeness and charm and humour are characteristics I like most in people and I struggle when people are (rarely luckily) rude to me.
You sound a lovely character , don't take it to heart , he's a rude twit .. there are lots of nice folk out there as well "
Thank you. Yes, I definitely need to suspect the responses are lies until the actions prove different x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"It’s not you that needs to learn it’s these men who should have the balls to stand up and tell you they just want a one off. It’s their disgusting lying behaviour that’s at fault not your trusting nature. You just take everything any man says with a piece of salt that’s what I do. Don’t beat yourself up about it. "
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Haven’t met anyone 1on1 for years as was fed up of guys telling me what I wanted to hear and then me falling for it.
Finally met someone on Saturday who I got talking with at an organised social. He chased all week and eventually persuaded me to go out with him. We fucked… I’m now being ghosted. Hating myself right now for putting myself through it again!
Sorry this has happened to you. It's not fair and dam right rudeness.
You are certaibly not alone in this experience and unfortunately ghosting is not limited to just single males, we've had it happen to us by other couples.
But we have also found some true gems out there, we are determined not to be put off by one to two bad experiences.
"to find a gem, a few stones need to be turned over first"
Thank you. I was all for giving up, but today I’m feeling more determined to find what I’m looking for x"
 |
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Isn't that the usual story many men chase for the shag then disappear been on and off sites over many many years and it seems to be all these men are looking for even if you or they say your looking a regular friends with benefits they will tell you what you want to hear time and time again...
I've developed a thick skin as to why I don't meet one to one and prefar meeting couples or group fun....mostly spontaneous fun..
It definitely takes time to find exactly what your looking for...
Am currently happy enough ploughing on and attending socials for the banter and laugh with friends...
Looking for what you really want is looking for a needle in a haystack wish you all the luck in the world xx cj x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Haven’t met anyone 1on1 for years as was fed up of guys telling me what I wanted to hear and then me falling for it.
Finally met someone on Saturday who I got talking with at an organised social. He chased all week and eventually persuaded me to go out with him. We fucked… I’m now being ghosted. Hating myself right now for putting myself through it again! "
Don't let his insecurities bring you down. His ghosting had nothing to with you or how you behaved on or after your date. Chin up and never let a mans quest for his own self worth bring you down. |
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By *jonesMan
over a year ago
Plymouth |
"Isn't that the usual story many men chase for the shag then disappear been on and off sites over many many years and it seems to be all these men are looking for even if you or they say your looking a regular friends with benefits they will tell you what you want to hear time and time again...
I've developed a thick skin as to why I don't meet one to one and prefar meeting couples or group fun....mostly spontaneous fun..
It definitely takes time to find exactly what your looking for...
Am currently happy enough ploughing on and attending socials for the banter and laugh with friends...
Looking for what you really want is looking for a needle in a haystack wish you all the luck in the world xx cj x"
It's extremely tricky , in my limited experience mixing serious dating and looking for something more with fab, I met a lady on here and we got on , did loads of social stuff weekends away etc but for a number of reasons it didn't work out ...I wonder if meeting off sites like tinder and starting on a more vanilla footing and see how you get on and then introduce the subject early on ...might work ... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Haven’t met anyone 1on1 for years as was fed up of guys telling me what I wanted to hear and then me falling for it.
Finally met someone on Saturday who I got talking with at an organised social. He chased all week and eventually persuaded me to go out with him. We fucked… I’m now being ghosted. Hating myself right now for putting myself through it again!
Sorry this has happened to you. It's not fair and dam right rudeness.
You are certaibly not alone in this experience and unfortunately ghosting is not limited to just single males, we've had it happen to us by other couples.
But we have also found some true gems out there, we are determined not to be put off by one to two bad experiences.
"to find a gem, a few stones need to be turned over first"
Thank you. I was all for giving up, but today I’m feeling more determined to find what I’m looking for x"
And I’m really pleased to hear you say that. I guess there will always be people who mess people around but not all of us are the same. |
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"Was it a good fuck though?
Well I thought so
Not a total waste then "
And on a positive note, he did at least turn up so your time and effort weren't wasted. Hope you verified him as a genuine meet! |
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