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Widowed husbands
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I feel like there's a con doing the rounds
A guys had sucess getting a meet by telling a woman, couple that his wife's recently passed away, not ready to move on to another relationship but missing intimacy
In 6 years I've never had a message like this before but I've had 3 this week all along the same lines, from different guys, all been here over a year, at least 2 were verified
It feels creepy rather than a coincidence
Anyone else had one of these messages |
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By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in Co. Down |
There are some genuine widowed men on here of course there is. I find the ones who don't say it straight away in a message are usually the ones who are genuine and not trying for the poor me angle.
There have been and still are some who use it as their USP even though sometimes it's not even true and they keep the lie going for a long time until they get caught out. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I am a widower but never mention it as feel it sounds like your looking for sympathy. Also women my feel that you are looking for more than a fun time and looking to replace the one who you have lost.
Bad taste to put another person in such a position. |
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I totally understand and expect their to be genuine widowers on here
It just seems an odd opening message & to have 3 almost identical messages in just a few days where I don't recall ever receiving a message mentioning that in the past even odder
Like you say it may come up in conversation further down the line but as an opening message it screams pity fuck and 3 messages in a week scream someone got lucky with this story & told their friends, which is really low |
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"I am a widower but never mention it as feel it sounds like your looking for sympathy. Also women my feel that you are looking for more than a fun time and looking to replace the one who you have lost.
Bad taste to put another person in such a position."
Good point. With me it tends to come up when conversations about kids and accomodation come up. |
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"I totally understand and expect their to be genuine widowers on here
It just seems an odd opening message & to have 3 almost identical messages in just a few days where I don't recall ever receiving a message mentioning that in the past even odder
Like you say it may come up in conversation further down the line but as an opening message it screams pity fuck and 3 messages in a week scream someone got lucky with this story & told their friends, which is really low "
Pitty fuck hell no. Lust filled fuck hell yes  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It is not easy being a widower. Lost my wife 14 years younger than myself last November after being married for just 3 weeks and one day. Life has to go on, and quite frankly when people say so sorry for your loss it does not help.
Therefore by announcing the fact just escalates the feeling and is wrong to put that burden on someone else. |
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"It is not easy being a widower. Lost my wife 14 years younger than myself last November after being married for just 3 weeks and one day. Life has to go on, and quite frankly when people say so sorry for your loss it does not help.
Therefore by announcing the fact just escalates the feeling and is wrong to put that burden on someone else."
I was speaking to my brother yesterday. Our mum died 1/3/22 and his wife died shortly afterwards. He's coping but finding it hard. He says he feels fragile and the smallest kindness can set him back. My dad says a similar thing.
I won't say anything in connection with your situation other than I understand |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It is not easy being a widower. Lost my wife 14 years younger than myself last November after being married for just 3 weeks and one day. Life has to go on, and quite frankly when people say so sorry for your loss it does not help.
Therefore by announcing the fact just escalates the feeling and is wrong to put that burden on someone else.
I was speaking to my brother yesterday. Our mum died 1/3/22 and his wife died shortly afterwards. He's coping but finding it hard. He says he feels fragile and the smallest kindness can set him back. My dad says a similar thing.
I won't say anything in connection with your situation other than I understand "
I found returning to dressing and this site has helped me, Yes I miss the company of a Lady but would rather meet a couple and not mention the fact. This site is for meeting and chatting. Guys should not use it to try and gain the attention of the fact. My wife was a Pagan witch as I am also and that helps x |
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"It is not easy being a widower. Lost my wife 14 years younger than myself last November after being married for just 3 weeks and one day. Life has to go on, and quite frankly when people say so sorry for your loss it does not help.
Therefore by announcing the fact just escalates the feeling and is wrong to put that burden on someone else.
I was speaking to my brother yesterday. Our mum died 1/3/22 and his wife died shortly afterwards. He's coping but finding it hard. He says he feels fragile and the smallest kindness can set him back. My dad says a similar thing.
I won't say anything in connection with your situation other than I understand
I found returning to dressing and this site has helped me, Yes I miss the company of a Lady but would rather meet a couple and not mention the fact. This site is for meeting and chatting. Guys should not use it to try and gain the attention of the fact. My wife was a Pagan witch as I am also and that helps x"
I'm sure it does help. My father is a commited Christian (as was my mum) which has helped him. My brother has found solace at the bottom of a whiskey bottle which I don't think is helping |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The answer is not at the end of the bottle as I well know. But it dulls the feeling. Do not nag him about his drinking. Does not help. Just be there for your Brother x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I,m a widow, I prefer not to mention it.....
"
Hi, I'm a genuine widower, sometimes I think it would be nice to meet someone on here who would like a permanent relationship  |
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By *nick52Man
over a year ago
Warrington |
Iam a widower(1 year ago this week), and i mention it in my profile mainly to answer the usual un asked question of "are you a cheating husband ?". It shows my situation and the reason i can accommodate. Would it be better to put single in my profile instead or do you think , widower gives more clarity of being experienced ?. |
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"Iam a widower(1 year ago this week), and i mention it in my profile mainly to answer the usual un asked question of "are you a cheating husband ?". It shows my situation and the reason i can accommodate. Would it be better to put single in my profile instead or do you think , widower gives more clarity of being experienced ?."
I think your wording is fine. It's a fact about you |
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Recently widowed here but not looking to meet again just yet, not would I use that fact to get a meet. I use the forum to escape my reality for a short time rather than turning to alcohol to forget |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I was widowed 2 years ago ..I mention it on my profile ..not sure why ????but I guess im just stating the facts ..I came back to Fab a year after he died its honestly made me feel alive again ...I know he would be cheering me on . |
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"I was widowed 2 years ago ..I mention it on my profile ..not sure why ????but I guess im just stating the facts ..I came back to Fab a year after he died its honestly made me feel alive again ...I know he would be cheering me on ."
Only here the once. Nice pics by the way. John. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We have also been messaged a number of times by women that have unfortunately lost their husbands.
Generally they certainly not looking for a relationship but just have needs they need fulfilling. More than happy to help of course ! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I just feel that men can't do right for doing wrong.
If they are honest about their situation they are wrong and if they are not honest about their situation they are wrong. |
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By *oxy jWoman
over a year ago
somerset |
i think if they are real then it would not be in the first message it would be something further down the line maybe if a regular thing ..
however there are a group on here to will throw everything at you yo try and pull the heart strings ... about 8 years ago i had a friends husband do just that on another site saying his wife had died but he soon deleted the profile when i said thats funny i saw her in work today ...thing some say just to try and get a wet willie |
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By *oxy jWoman
over a year ago
somerset |
"I just feel that men can't do right for doing wrong.
If they are honest about their situation they are wrong and if they are not honest about their situation they are wrong. "
men do have it very hard that i do agree i would not want to be a single guy on any site swing or date |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Iam a widower(1 year ago this week), and i mention it in my profile mainly to answer the usual un asked question of "are you a cheating husband ?". It shows my situation and the reason i can accommodate. Would it be better to put single in my profile instead or do you think , widower gives more clarity of being experienced ?."
Very open and honest of you Respect. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I just cannot imagine it's something anyone would lie about , although accept it coukd happen.
Agreed it definitely wouldn't be in the first message though and the ladies we have me tit certainly was true regarding their husbands. |
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By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago
Manchester (he/him) |
It’s sad that people would try to manipulate others like that and play on sympathies to deceive others for sex. Anyone doing that is an appalling human.
The only thing that I can say is if a message rings alarm bells, block them and move on. You can’t always tell who’s genuine and who isn’t, grief presents in different ways for different people. Sometimes people share hard feelings to try to normalise them, it doesn’t make the situation fake. All you can do is go with your gut.
There was a guy on here that was lying about being a widower and got caught, his (very alive) wife found out and he ended up with the whole situation blowing up so sadly it does happen. |
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Known a couple of widows and widowers on scene over the years. Some who were active before with their late partners, some who found it post their loss. However on Fab you do need to take random Internet strangers with a pinch of salt and use your spidy senses. I sadly wouldn't put it passed some and that is a rapid increase in frequency. |
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"Lad famously tried it here a couple of years ago ... didnt end well for anyone concerned
It was claimed he tried it there was no proof. "
Oh...was it just some witches brewing a salacious tale in their cauldron? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I am a widower of 5 years now, my wife and I were on here as a couple from 2012. I lost her in 2017, I have shared a story on the forums about us playing together with a friend which was genuine and plenty more along the way when I get round to it.
I now dress more which she was aware of hence my single profile, I can’t see the point in looking for a sympathy shag with a couple/female by stating the obvious. If it happens and comes up in conversation then fine, that’s not a problem x |
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"I just feel that men can't do right for doing wrong.
If they are honest about their situation they are wrong and if they are not honest about their situation they are wrong. "
Usually I agree and usually I'm championing the single guys but after being here 6yrs and never having any conversations about a deceased partner let alone in an opening message to then receive 3 in less than a week rings alarm bells and is a real low point |
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Not sure a real widower would mention it, even if just to reassure as a single guy - personal pride is important, and waving a 'widower' flag just to score on Fabs (with people that, if they need that reassurance, probably aren't worth it) is a little sad.  |
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"I am a widower of 5 years now, my wife and I were on here as a couple from 2012. I lost her in 2017, I have shared a story on the forums about us playing together with a friend which was genuine and plenty more along the way when I get round to it.
I now dress more which she was aware of hence my single profile, I can’t see the point in looking for a sympathy shag with a couple/female by stating the obvious. If it happens and comes up in conversation then fine, that’s not a problem x"
Completely get that. |
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"i think if they are real then it would not be in the first message it would be something further down the line maybe if a regular thing ..
however there are a group on here to will throw everything at you yo try and pull the heart strings ... about 8 years ago i had a friends husband do just that on another site saying his wife had died but he soon deleted the profile when i said thats funny i saw her in work today ...thing some say just to try and get a wet willie"
 |
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"We have also been messaged a number of times by women that have unfortunately lost their husbands.
Generally they certainly not looking for a relationship but just have needs they need fulfilling. More than happy to help of course !"
|
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Interesting to see how others are handling widowhood. I'm 2 years in and it's not getting any easier. Escapism on here passes the time, last thing I'd want to do is use it as a status update for a sympathy shag. |
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For me it's not something I would mention in a 1st message, or even mention it unless asked, my sympothy Ofcourse goes out to others. I started swinging many years ago as a its always something I was interested in exploring, never did until I learnt lifes to short not to do the things you wanted to x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I’m a widower as well. Lost my wife 11 years ago. I do mention it on my profile but only as information.
I can’t accommodate as I live in close proximity to other family members so not being able to accommodate doesn’t necessarily mean a man is cheating. I also still wear my wedding ring in addition to having my wife’s wedding ring on a chain around my neck. Whenever I have met anybody on here I have explained that before meeting and it hasn’t been a problem. |
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