FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Timewasters
Timewasters
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I've been on and off both this site and fabguys over the years and have noticed it getting worse for timewasters and people who obviously have no intention of meeting and just messing people about and think it's now time to charge everyone to join this site to make sure it's only genuine people on here.does anyone else agree |
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Making everyone pay does not solve the situation sadly. I've been on many sites where we paid - before Fab even - and there will always be 'timewasters'. Although what constitutes a 'timewaster' is in itself often hard to define.
But I agree in this modern world of phones, texts, messengers, apps, emails etc... etc... should a person choose (their absolute prerogative lest we forget) or be physically unable to make a meet they really should let the other party know, a simple courtesy, unless a genuine emergency prevents it.
Lastly I understand there is the option on Fab to report someone as a 'no show'. Maybe that could be tightened up and habitual offenders dealt with that way.
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You know...there are badges (Gold Site Supporter & Silver Site Supporter) that show you when someone is actually choosing to financially support the site in return for a few perks? I note you don't have either badge...
Anyway, scroll down for the best held Fab secret on how to spot a bone-fide timewaster every single time...
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Sucker... |
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Sadly we have to agree that it's time for fab to charge to use the site. For us it seems to have got worse since rejoining after the pandemic.
Worse culprits for us seem to be single guys who talk the talk then vanish into oblivion when we offer to meet.xx |
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There's virtually no benefit to charging everyone for using the site because that only raises the level of expectation for some.
"I've paid my membership, so I'm entitled to sex!".
There are many many people on here who use the site to find sexual partners every day/week/month or as often as suits their schedule.
There are equally as many who enjoy the social side and only meet sporadically and often those in group A look down on those in group B and call them timewasters.
Just because someone isn't interested in meeting a particular person doesn't mean they don't want to meet others who do actually interest them.
The definition of timewaster on here is long and varied but anyone complaining that there are so many timewasters are just wasting their own time.
Look at the common denominator with all those timewasters you are chatting to and it's often yourself and your inability to stop doing the same thing over and over and expecting different outcomes.
Charging everyone to use the site will just get more people on their soapboxes complaining about how they aren't getting value for money. |
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By *..WillowCouple
over a year ago
East Lincs |
"There's virtually no benefit to charging everyone for using the site because that only raises the level of expectation for some.
"I've paid my membership, so I'm entitled to sex!".
There are many many people on here who use the site to find sexual partners every day/week/month or as often as suits their schedule.
There are equally as many who enjoy the social side and only meet sporadically and often those in group A look down on those in group B and call them timewasters.
Just because someone isn't interested in meeting a particular person doesn't mean they don't want to meet others who do actually interest them.
The definition of timewaster on here is long and varied but anyone complaining that there are so many timewasters are just wasting their own time.
Look at the common denominator with all those timewasters you are chatting to and it's often yourself and your inability to stop doing the same thing over and over and expecting different outcomes.
Charging everyone to use the site will just get more people on their soapboxes complaining about how they aren't getting value for money. "
We have suffered with the timewasters and dreamers. No point in moaning about it just change how you deal with it.
We only go to clubs now and strangely haven't had the problem since.
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By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in Co. Down |
The irony of someone saying everyone should pay to be on here when they themselves haven't 
Paying will not make the slightest difference anyhow all it will do will as someone farther up said make people feel they are entitled to sex cos they paid.
And people can only waste your time if you allow them to. Also timewasters mean different things to different people on here. But the simple truth is no one has to meet anyone else or do anything they don't want to on here. If you find your time is wasted by a lot of people then maybe look at how you are interacting with them and learn to spot the red flags.
Also there is a filter you can use to stop people who aren't site supporters from contacting you so if you think those who pay are more less likely to be time wasters you could use that. |
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"There's virtually no benefit to charging everyone for using the site because that only raises the level of expectation for some.
"I've paid my membership, so I'm entitled to sex!".
There are many many people on here who use the site to find sexual partners every day/week/month or as often as suits their schedule.
There are equally as many who enjoy the social side and only meet sporadically and often those in group A look down on those in group B and call them timewasters.
Just because someone isn't interested in meeting a particular person doesn't mean they don't want to meet others who do actually interest them.
The definition of timewaster on here is long and varied but anyone complaining that there are so many timewasters are just wasting their own time.
Look at the common denominator with all those timewasters you are chatting to and it's often yourself and your inability to stop doing the same thing over and over and expecting different outcomes.
Charging everyone to use the site will just get more people on their soapboxes complaining about how they aren't getting value for money. "
Well articulated argument here. Saved me the trouble of typing it out |
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Your definition of time wastilers is essential and possibly tied in to your expectations.
Most people chatted with won't ultimately be mutually compatible. Factor this into your plans.
Charging for the site just reduces the number of people here, in all likelihood. Less choice.
If there are people who mutually agree a fixed time and place to meet but don't turn up, that same type will likely do the same, if fab charges.
Take the onus on to yourself to improve your filtering of people.
As a swinging site, go and do some actual swinging ib the real world. The places and people will be in place there and you can up your game. Use fab as backup support, to the relationships you make in the real swinging world.
Report noshows to fab Admin. And police your own behaviour and choices |
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"Sadly we have to agree that it's time for fab to charge to use the site. For us it seems to have got worse since rejoining after the pandemic.
Worse culprits for us seem to be single guys who talk the talk then vanish into oblivion when we offer to meet.xx"
As single guy I've been stood up with no shows after travelling and verifying meet only half hour before, its a game for some sadly |
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"Your definition of time wastilers is essential and possibly tied in to your expectations.
Most people chatted with won't ultimately be mutually compatible. Factor this into your plans.
Charging for the site just reduces the number of people here, in all likelihood. Less choice.
If there are people who mutually agree a fixed time and place to meet but don't turn up, that same type will likely do the same, if fab charges.
Take the onus on to yourself to improve your filtering of people.
As a swinging site, go and do some actual swinging ib the real world. The places and people will be in place there and you can up your game. Use fab as backup support, to the relationships you make in the real swinging world.
Report noshows to fab Admin. And police your own behaviour and choices "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've been on and off both this site and fabguys over the years and have noticed it getting worse for timewasters and people who obviously have no intention of meeting and just messing people about and think it's now time to charge everyone to join this site to make sure it's only genuine people on here.does anyone else agree"
It won’t solve the problem as they will pay as most on here just to perv and wank so won’t make a difference to them |
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Tapping into the 2 above posts (quoted & thumbs up) from _ophieslut & Justbo it is essentially up to you to manage your own expectations and filter out yourself the red flags that normal show up.
Only you can allow someone to waste your time.
Travelling to someone doesn’t guarantee a meet, just you risking a no show & getting upset.
Face pics and messaging means nothing, a robot can do that.
You could have a video call on Telegram (app using profile name instead of mobile number) prior to a meet to gauge it for yourself and see if it’s even worth going through with. |
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By *iss E99TV/TS
over a year ago
Near Taunton Somerset |
To me a time waster would be someone who actually arranges to meet you, then doesn’t show up, doesn’t cancel or goes radio silent on you before. We all get these occasionally.
Whats not a time wasting is someone you chat to but it just fizzles out and you never meet or ignoring someone’s messages. |
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All charging people accomplishes is pricing those with less disposable income off the site.
Plenty of rich timewasters out there.
This is the same problem with all punitive fines: They only punish people who can't afford them. Rich folk can continue doing whatever the fuck they want. |
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"people who obviously have no intention of meeting"
I chat regularly to several people on here who blatantly yet openly have NO intention of ever meeting anyone off here. Yet I do not consider them 'timewasters' and they would also fit the description of 'genuine people' in that they are the age/gender/orientation etc...
In short I enjoy engaging with them.
Some support the site financially yet some do not and that is their choice.
No when it comes to messing people about then -yes - I agree its frustrating ghosting people and the like. But that's not Fab's fault. Its the individuals doing it. But I've been 'ghosted' by a woman with a Gold Medal so charging her didn't stop her. She's still on here even.
I understand what you are trying to say in your post OP - but - sadly some people will break or bend accepted social norms and act in a manner we disapprove. Its called life, we're stuck with it and as we're all unique we can never achieve a 'utopian' perfection.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I didn't have site supporter for a few months, didn't stop me meeting people, I don't think paying for it would stop timewasters at all, like someone said further up, it would increase some folk saying "I've paid for it, I should have it!".
Not really sure how you can stop timewasters, not a sure fire way anyway.
There are some good fabbers out there x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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How are people who have "obviously no intention of meeting" wasting your time?
If its so obvious, why are you continuing to waste your own time interacting with people who are not looking for the same thing you are? Sometimes we just need to take responsibility for our own actions and stop looking for someone else to blame |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think it’s a word that is thrown around a lot.
Someone that doesn't reply, or doesn't wanna meet you after exchanging messages isn't a time waster.
I don’t agree about charging everyone. That’s what makes FAB it’s free to use. Charging everyone won’t suddenly change how people message and meet on here, if anything possibly make it worse as some will have an entitled mindset that they’ve paid… |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Not sure how you are defining 'timewaster' - when fifty guys ask to meet one wife, are forty nine of them having their time wasted?
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people who agree to a meet then go offline and don't turn up or even block you after you've been messaging them and they say they are up for a meet.also people who can't give you a straight forward answer when you ask them if they are free |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Those who are pic collectors and also just on here to mess people about would have second thoughts if they had to pay.some people may think paying a fee entitles them to meets but I do think it would make it better and easier for those who do want to use this site for actually meeting people |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"How are people who have "obviously no intention of meeting" wasting your time?
If its so obvious, why are you continuing to waste your own time interacting with people who are not looking for the same thing you are? Sometimes we just need to take responsibility for our own actions and stop looking for someone else to blame"
I will message people who post that they are looking for a meet and read there profile to see if I'm what they are supposedly looking for.they then either don't even bother to reply or say not free but might be free another day.you think if you aren't free why post that you are looking for a meet!!! |
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"I've been on and off both this site and fabguys over the years and have noticed it getting worse for timewasters and people who obviously have no intention of meeting and just messing people about and think it's now time to charge everyone to join this site to make sure it's only genuine people on here.does anyone else agree"
Just because people are not falling on your dick or even meeting others they are not time wasters this is a social media, not a dating site.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"How are people who have "obviously no intention of meeting" wasting your time?
If its so obvious, why are you continuing to waste your own time interacting with people who are not looking for the same thing you are? Sometimes we just need to take responsibility for our own actions and stop looking for someone else to blameI will message people who post that they are looking for a meet and read there profile to see if I'm what they are supposedly looking for.they then either don't even bother to reply or say not free but might be free another day.you think if you aren't free why post that you are looking for a meet!!!"
Maybe they just don’t want to meet you. Doesn’t make them time wasters. |
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"I've been on and off both this site and fabguys over the years and have noticed it getting worse for timewasters and people who obviously have no intention of meeting and just messing people about and think it's now time to charge everyone to join this site to make sure it's only genuine people on here.does anyone else agree"
You just end up with timewasters who have a bit more disposable income than the other ones did. |
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"How are people who have "obviously no intention of meeting" wasting your time?
If its so obvious, why are you continuing to waste your own time interacting with people who are not looking for the same thing you are? Sometimes we just need to take responsibility for our own actions and stop looking for someone else to blameI will message people who post that they are looking for a meet and read there profile to see if I'm what they are supposedly looking for.they then either don't even bother to reply or say not free but might be free another day.you think if you aren't free why post that you are looking for a meet!!!"
Maybe there not heartless twats and do not want to say they find you unattractive...  |
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By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in Co. Down |
"How are people who have "obviously no intention of meeting" wasting your time?
If its so obvious, why are you continuing to waste your own time interacting with people who are not looking for the same thing you are? Sometimes we just need to take responsibility for our own actions and stop looking for someone else to blameI will message people who post that they are looking for a meet and read there profile to see if I'm what they are supposedly looking for.they then either don't even bother to reply or say not free but might be free another day.you think if you aren't free why post that you are looking for a meet!!!"
Just because you think you suit what they are looking for does not mean they think the same. That's not timewasters it just means they don't want to meet you.
They probably say they aren't free as a way or saying no to you without having to tell you they actually don't find you attractive .
None of that is timewasting nor is stopping a conversation.Yet again that means they don't want to meet you and if it's happening a lot to you then maybe look at the common denominator and how you are approaching people. Being on here does not mean people have to fuck anyone,even if they put up a meet request it does not entitle anyone who answers a meet. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"How are people who have "obviously no intention of meeting" wasting your time?
If its so obvious, why are you continuing to waste your own time interacting with people who are not looking for the same thing you are? Sometimes we just need to take responsibility for our own actions and stop looking for someone else to blameI will message people who post that they are looking for a meet and read there profile to see if I'm what they are supposedly looking for.they then either don't even bother to reply or say not free but might be free another day.you think if you aren't free why post that you are looking for a meet!!!"
They don't want to meet you. They are trying to be kind!!!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I will message people who post that they are looking for a meet and read there profile to see if I'm what they are supposedly looking for.they then either don't even bother to reply or say not free but might be free another day.you think if you aren't free why post that you are looking for a meet!!!"
That does not make someone a time waster OP. |
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By *oolblue12Man
over a year ago
Tarporley near Chester |
Well I just had a timewasters with a gold badge arranged to meet , sent a message to their replies asking did you get my last message? Message read then blocked , previously they sent a friend request which I accepted , most wired , I agree with some people things have got worse I have been swinging for over twenty years and there seems to be a lot more catfish and time wasters about . |
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By *oolblue12Man
over a year ago
Tarporley near Chester |
I agree with you there but some people do not have even the common courtesy to say no thanks , I have been on the scene for over two decades and I have noticed some things have got progressively worse !!!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I agree with you there but some people do not have even the common courtesy to say no thanks , I have been on the scene for over two decades and I have noticed some things have got progressively worse !!!!"
Read the site FAQs - No reply, is a no thanks |
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Charging everyone to use the site shouldn’t result in people thinking it guarantees them sex any more than those people that are already on the site. It might well reduce the number.
There does seem to be a lot of people, ‘couples’ included, who talk about meeting but when asked to be specific on where and when seem to run out of conversation. I’ve even had ‘couples’ chatting that have turned out to be completely fictitious with their profile pics lifted from some porn site.
While it is irritating I just treat it as part of fab. I’m fortunate in that I have never been stood up but I expect the more frequent ‘flyers’ will experience that more purely based on the law of averages. |
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"Best test. If someone is real and they intend to meet you they will share phone numbers, whatsapp sorts the fakes"
Not necessarily. I won't give my phone number out until I've met someone in person at least once. |
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By *uckrutCouple
over a year ago
Dallas |
There are real couples on here that are legit, that are very discrete about setting up a meet.. that is not so easy…. Seems distance is a big factor. That same couple enjoys this site by just simple chat about what turns them on and like to have others turned on in sharing experiences and chatting about real situations |
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"How are people who have "obviously no intention of meeting" wasting your time?
If its so obvious, why are you continuing to waste your own time interacting with people who are not looking for the same thing you are? Sometimes we just need to take responsibility for our own actions and stop looking for someone else to blameI will message people who post that they are looking for a meet and read there profile to see if I'm what they are supposedly looking for.they then either don't even bother to reply or say not free but might be free another day.you think if you aren't free why post that you are looking for a meet!!!"
That’s not a time waster. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"How are people who have "obviously no intention of meeting" wasting your time?
If its so obvious, why are you continuing to waste your own time interacting with people who are not looking for the same thing you are? Sometimes we just need to take responsibility for our own actions and stop looking for someone else to blameI will message people who post that they are looking for a meet and read there profile to see if I'm what they are supposedly looking for.they then either don't even bother to reply or say not free but might be free another day.you think if you aren't free why post that you are looking for a meet!!!
That’s not a time waster. "
Have you ever walked into a shop and been told to buy something before you leave? Lol that's what it sounds like, if I'm looking for a meet then I will probably message many but only meet one  |
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