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Couples - Why?
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As we are still relatively new on the scene, we’ve been talking a lot recently about why we’ve taken this leap into swinging and what we expect to gain from it. We are curious to know why other couples started, what you gain from it and whether you see it as a separate activity from your ‘own’ sex life or if it’s a part of your sex life (hopefully this makes sense)?
We aren’t in any doubt but curious and if this thread means we meet a few more couples, great!
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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For us it's to create great memories by fulfilling some fantasies that we both have... we've done the complete vanilla bit while we raised our beautiful kids, now it's our time.
We aren't very active at the moment but whenever we both get the itch this side of our life is there to be explored more. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We’d just been talking about how hot it would be to see each other with someone else. Watching each other enjoying themselves while having fun ourselves with the other part of the couple.
Very new to the scene but enjoying what we’ve done so far. |
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"I personally missed one night stands
My husband had participated in threesomes/gangbangs before we met also missed sex with other partners
So after a lot of discussions we ended up here x "
and know you don’t need 1 nite stands |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We see it as an extension to our sex life.
We are fulfilling fantasies with each other that we have always talked about or role played within our sex life before taking the leap.
We like to build a connection so it's not one off sex with random people and more like an additional to an already great mix xx |
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By *ipseyTwoCouple
over a year ago
Biggleswade |
For us, it has been a way to explore fantasies. We generally talk about past/future encounters during sex.
It is part of our sex life, but our sex life doesn’t rely on it.
Welcome to the club…have fun! |
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"...and whether you see it as a separate activity from your ‘own’ sex life or if it’s a part of your sex life "
Very much part of our sex life and also relationship.
We don't consider this to be an optional extra.
We did however get together in order to have this type of relationship and lifestyle so we're a little different to most as this is all we've ever known. |
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We're both very sexual people and we wanted to explore our fantasies together. Some fantasies are shared and some are individual but with this lifestyle we get to explore them all together. We also heard so many people talk about how it can bring you closer together, and even though we didn't think that would be possible we knew we were strong enough as a couple to give it a try and see what happens and all I can say is the others were right, it brings us closer together every time! It's amazing! |
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By *ynecplCouple
over a year ago
Newcastle upon Tyne |
We started swinging as it was a chance to live out some sexual fantasies we had in the bedroom.
We keep swinging separate from our love life if that makes sense but we also have rules/boundaries.
At the end of the night regardless of what we have done, who we have been with we still go home together and are still very much in love even after 30 years together. |
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For us we started to fulfill both of our fantasies. We have a great sex life together but adding others to the mix spices things up and turns us on.
Is scary the first time not knowing what to expect or how each other will react but just have to be secure in your relationship and talk openly about what you both like and dislike |
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By *issmorganWoman
over a year ago
Calderdale innit |
I met my partner here in the forum's 7 years ago next month.we weren't after anything more than fun,but it developed into more
We took time away and his our profiles ,then decided we wanted to swing together and have a couple profile.
We are just looking for occasional fun and partner swapping ,as I'm straight .or we use our joint profiles to arrange to meet in clubs or go to socials really. |
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By *harAndBryCouple
over a year ago
Peterborough / Stamford |
Char used to meet guys for kink stuff...but that's not for me. I was fine with her carrying on doing that as long as we had no secrets. That led to the conversation about whether I'd want to watch which led us to here.
For me, personally, it's all about making sure Char has the opportunity to experience everything she wants. I don't "perform" that well, I'm not the hunkiest guy out there, not great stamina, and I also don't have boobs or a vagina for her play with
(Bry)
Oh....we also came here to meet hot couples from Milton Keynes! |
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Same as most I guess, to fulfil fantasies, try new things, meet new people, we both enjoy sex and have a great sex life, I love the honesty and openness of it and I like to show off the Mr, also he doesn't have boobs I can fondle.
Mrs |
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By *ussraneCouple
over a year ago
Romford |
We both have found that this journey has made us communicate more to what we both like, Ranes mentality has changed from “ I want to swing to please you as that turns me on “ to
“I want to swing for me as well as for you now as I love the sex “ |
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I know this is for couples but just wanted to say how interesting it is so see so many similar answers, which are also the same reasons for the majority of couples I have had the pleasure of playing with over the years. |
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By *icentiousCouple
over a year ago
Up on them there hills |
There are a number of reasons we play.
We both like the ladies, it would be difficult to say which enjoys them the most.
Also I adore D/s play, L plays B/d, however doesn’t enter into D/s relationships.
So she has bi wants and I am drawn to kink relationships.
Plus we both enjoy the fun element.
What’s not to enjoy. |
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Thanks to everyone who has responded so far! It's reassuring to read so many similar responses that aren't too dissimilar from our own reasons.
To be honest, we aren't yet in a place where this doesn't feel like an extra activity but I'm sure this will change over time |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I started on here as a couple. The reason was the sex was mind blowing. I couldn't get enough and just wanted 2 of him. Bringing someone into the mix was the closest I was going to get |
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We met on here. We were both singles and started meeting a lot. The meets got longer and the gaps shorter.
We fell in love, live together, got engaged and enjoy the total honesty and ability to follow our desires while together. |
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By *udere.Couple
over a year ago
South West |
For us swinging was a form of escapism, something we do just for us.
It’s our opportunity to leave intense jobs to one side, to push boundaries and fantasies together and also have our own little secret. We’ve certainly grown even closer as a consequence. |
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For us, sex is not a relationship or love thing. Love is us cuddling up together on the sofa, going out to places together and spending 24/7 together.
Fucking is just fucking. We share it with others like we would go for a drink with a mate. We see no additional value in it. It’s obviously better with each other than anyone else but we don’t make love. We fuck. And why not fuck other people?
We met in an FFM so we didn’t start on the traditional and normal dating path. We just realised we liked each other and took it from there. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"As we are still relatively new on the scene, we’ve been talking a lot recently about why we’ve taken this leap into swinging and what we expect to gain from it. We are curious to know why other couples started, what you gain from it and whether you see it as a separate activity from your ‘own’ sex life or if it’s a part of your sex life (hopefully this makes sense)?
We aren’t in any doubt but curious and if this thread means we meet a few more couples, great!
"
For me personally, I’ve always felt differently about sex. I’ve never been unfaithful to a partner but monogamous sex just didn’t leave me feeling fulfilled. I’ve previously been made to feel shit about myself for wanting anything that wasn’t strictly vanilla. So thought there was something wrong with me.
Then I met J (Mr), and something just clicked in my head…the subject of swinging came up in conversation randomly one evening and we realised we’d both like to explore this together. He’s been on here as a single guy but I’ve never even done internet dating before. So for me the whole online thing is a new concept for me to get my head around as well.
It’s the whole thing of enjoying sex together and sharing that with like-minded people…it’s a lifestyle choice I’d say, rather than just random fucking about, or separate to our own relationship. I guess it’s just part of who we are and I love the fact that we have this level of trust and respect that we want to share it together.
F (Mrs) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The divorce rate amongst swinging couples is much lower than those found in monogamous relationships due to the unlikely event of one partner cheating - I mean, why would you? Much of this is because couples that swing together, stay together because have better communication with one another, much more transparent and are happier in their relationship.
Swinging is such a healthy and consensual sexual activity based on the premise that all humans should explore sexual connections with multiple partners (dates back years) and is thoroughly enjoyable for every-one involved... The reasons swingers don't file for divorces in comparison to their monogamous peers are the traits which determine happiness and flexibility in addition to creativity and adaptability to changing circumstances. The sex lives of the swingers are undoubtedly more flexible if compared with the monogamous couples... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The divorce rate amongst swinging couples is much lower than those found in monogamous relationships due to the unlikely event of one partner cheating - I mean, why would you? Much of this is because couples that swing together, stay together because have better communication with one another, much more transparent and are happier in their relationship.
Swinging is such a healthy and consensual sexual activity based on the premise that all humans should explore sexual connections with multiple partners (dates back years) and is thoroughly enjoyable for every-one involved... The reasons swingers don't file for divorces in comparison to their monogamous peers are the traits which determine happiness and flexibility in addition to creativity and adaptability to changing circumstances. The sex lives of the swingers are undoubtedly more flexible if compared with the monogamous couples..."
This makes a lot of sense to me - for the first time in my life I feel totally like “me” and love the trust, openness and good communication J (Mr) and I have. I’ve never experienced anything like it before, and it feels good being with someone totally like-minded
F (Mrs) |
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We both love watching each other and fluid movements of pleasure of each other, something you can't exp 3rd person, so it's far more enjoyable watching each other with someone else.
The excitement of exp pleasures with others.
For her, enjoying the exp with another woman, exploring and enjoying the bi side, while he gets to watch and join in.
Just some of the reasons. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We are both just perverts we like watching people and people watching us just turns us both on"
J (Mr) and I described ourselves as filthy perverts the other night haha. And do you know what? We love it, and we love it there’s other people out there like us 
F (Mrs) |
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I think we are just weird sometimes as I do like it when k goes out with other men and she likes me being with other women.
But being on this site it appears we are not on our own in this.
But one of the main reasons is k is bi and has always wanted a girlfriend as well as having me but unfortunately she has never found that girl who is ok with her having me as well.
So this is way of trying to find someone for her, as I know she has got really attached to some girls and was really heartbroken when they did want to continue because of me 
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"We are both just perverts we like watching people and people watching us just turns us both on
J (Mr) and I described ourselves as filthy perverts the other night haha. And do you know what? We love it, and we love it there’s other people out there like us
That’s all there is too it just plain perverts just that now we accept it and it’s better because I have found the better half of me that likes it as well.
Darren
F (Mrs)"
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We are both just perverts we like watching people and people watching us just turns us both on
J (Mr) and I described ourselves as filthy perverts the other night haha. And do you know what? We love it, and we love it there’s other people out there like us
That’s all there is too it just plain perverts just that now we accept it and it’s better because I have found the better half of me that likes it as well.
Darren
F (Mrs) "
Oh yes, the accepting it and sharing it with someone else bit is amazing 
F (Mrs) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The divorce rate amongst swinging couples is much lower than those found in monogamous relationships due to the unlikely event of one partner cheating - I mean, why would you? Much of this is because couples that swing together, stay together because have better communication with one another, much more transparent and are happier in their relationship.
Swinging is such a healthy and consensual sexual activity based on the premise that all humans should explore sexual connections with multiple partners (dates back years) and is thoroughly enjoyable for every-one involved... The reasons swingers don't file for divorces in comparison to their monogamous peers are the traits which determine happiness and flexibility in addition to creativity and adaptability to changing circumstances. The sex lives of the swingers are undoubtedly more flexible if compared with the monogamous couples..."
I've always though this to be true and what you say makes absolute sense 
As a self Confessed nerd I'd love to see some data on this x |
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Because life is for living and having fun. It may not be mainstream but we all have fantasies and as a married couple we should help eschother explore them rather than be scored and run in opposite direction |
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"The divorce rate amongst swinging couples is much lower than those found in monogamous relationships due to the unlikely event of one partner cheating - I mean, why would you? Much of this is because couples that swing together, stay together because have better communication with one another, much more transparent and are happier in their relationship.
Swinging is such a healthy and consensual sexual activity based on the premise that all humans should explore sexual connections with multiple partners (dates back years) and is thoroughly enjoyable for every-one involved... The reasons swingers don't file for divorces in comparison to their monogamous peers are the traits which determine happiness and flexibility in addition to creativity and adaptability to changing circumstances. The sex lives of the swingers are undoubtedly more flexible if compared with the monogamous couples..."
Could not have worded it better. As we are so open with each other about our sexuality and sex tastes we find our relationship is far stronger. |
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