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Nerves before first club experience
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Is it normal? Guessing it is! We are new to the scene so have no idea what’s it’s going to be like.
It’s the not knowing what to expect, despite reading lots on the forums, everyone saying how lovely and friendly everyone are and such a good laugh etc.
Both really nervous
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Ah don’t be, just view it as a couples night out with potential naughty fun 
Remember everyone there is there for the same reason and you only play if you want to, zero pressure.
The social side of clubs can be just as fun as the play side.
I think a lot of newbies envision full on Roman orgies from the first step inside, where as reality is very different |
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Don’t worry, embrace the nerves, it’s all part of going somewhere new.
You have total control of what happens. Chat with who you like, make your own decisions about staying or going.
You don’t have to say yes to anything.
It’s fun and you’ll get used to it and want to go again and again.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"
I think a lot of newbies envision full on Roman orgies from the first step inside, where as reality is very different "
That’s the vision in my head ha ha! I’m sure it’s not like that but until you have been I guess you can’t describe it |
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"
Remember everyone there is there for the same reason"
I'd actually firmly disagree with this statement and think it's potential quite dangerous.
Our experience of clubs is that very few people are there for the same reason.
Some people are there to watch, some to satisfy a bucket list item, some to share their partner, some to be watched. Some only want single males, some only single females, some only couples.
I think the absolute worst thing you can do is assume that every one in the club is there because of same reason as yourself.
I don't know which club you're going to, but our local club, in the bar area, is very bar like. You'd not know it was a club until people dress down at 10pmish. One thing I'd definitely recommend is that you go as early as possible.
Overall, enjoy and if you don't like it, just leave early. |
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"
I think a lot of newbies envision full on Roman orgies from the first step inside, where as reality is very different
That’s the vision in my head ha ha! I’m sure it’s not like that but until you have been I guess you can’t describe it "
Don’t get me wrong, later in the evening it can be a bit like this but it also depends on the type of club and if it’s a dress down or club wear club etc…
Generally play is in playrooms so unless you’re active in these areas it’s just a bit social with a hint of naughtiness |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Don’t worry, embrace the nerves, it’s all part of going somewhere new.
You have total control of what happens. Chat with who you like, make your own decisions about staying or going.
You don’t have to say yes to anything.
It’s fun and you’ll get used to it and want to go again and again.
"
Thanks, I’m sure we will be fine. Not sure what to expect, it seems everyone is nice and hopefully not pushy so all good. See how it goes  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"
Remember everyone there is there for the same reason
I'd actually firmly disagree with this statement and think it's potential quite dangerous.
Our experience of clubs is that very few people are there for the same reason.
Some people are there to watch, some to satisfy a bucket list item, some to share their partner, some to be watched. Some only want single males, some only single females, some only couples.
I think the absolute worst thing you can do is assume that every one in the club is there because of same reason as yourself.
I don't know which club you're going to, but our local club, in the bar area, is very bar like. You'd not know it was a club until people dress down at 10pmish. One thing I'd definitely recommend is that you go as early as possible.
Overall, enjoy and if you don't like it, just leave early. "
Thanks, we are going to VA, it’s not far from us. Aiming to get there at 9 (opens at 8)
It’s a couples and single ladies night so hoping that eases us in a bit as heard a few stories about the wanking dead and didn’t want to get chucked into a single guys night for a first experience as we are generally only looking for couples |
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"Don’t worry, embrace the nerves, it’s all part of going somewhere new.
You have total control of what happens. Chat with who you like, make your own decisions about staying or going.
You don’t have to say yes to anything.
It’s fun and you’ll get used to it and want to go again and again.
"
Totally agree with this.
Nerves are standard on a first visit, sometimes even after a few visits or when trying a new club.
Just remember you're both in charge and keep communicating with one another.
Enjoy OP |
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"
Thanks, we are going to VA, it’s not far from us. Aiming to get there at 9 (opens at 8)
It’s a couples and single ladies night so hoping that eases us in a bit as heard a few stories about the wanking dead and didn’t want to get chucked into a single guys night for a first experience as we are generally only looking for couples "
Sounds good then. Presumably you've discussed between yourself any rules or boundaries? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"
Sounds good then. Presumably you've discussed between yourself any rules or boundaries?"
Absolutely, we are going with another couple as well who we’ve had a social with which I think will make it easier too |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"
Totally agree with this.
Nerves are standard on a first visit, sometimes even after a few visits or when trying a new club.
Just remember you're both in charge and keep communicating with one another.
Enjoy OP"
Thank you |
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Try not to build it up in your minds (which is admittedly very difficult). We didn’t rule anything in or out on our first visit; by going with the flow, we had a ball.
We were happy to just see how everything and everyone operated, but we met some awesome people, had a little play and went back to the hotel very happy and extremely horny.
You’ll be fine - just try to relax and enjoy it. And if you don’t, there are plenty of other people and clubs out there. It’s one of the joys of this lifestyle x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Oh, and agree your boundaries before you go. We won’t do anything with anyone unless we’re both fully agreed! That honesty is really important to us x"
Yes, absolutely. We only want to play on our own or with couples. Things may change in the future but as we are new, this is what we’ve decided |
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"
Remember everyone there is there for the same reason
I'd actually firmly disagree with this statement and think it's potential quite dangerous.
Our experience of clubs is that very few people are there for the same reason.
Some people are there to watch, some to satisfy a bucket list item, some to share their partner, some to be watched. Some only want single males, some only single females, some only couples.
I think the absolute worst thing you can do is assume that every one in the club is there because of same reason as yourself.
I don't know which club you're going to, but our local club, in the bar area, is very bar like. You'd not know it was a club until people dress down at 10pmish. One thing I'd definitely recommend is that you go as early as possible.
Overall, enjoy and if you don't like it, just leave early. "
I meant everyone is there for the same reason aka they want to be in a swingers club and whatever that may entail for them. Obviously everyone there have different desires or reasons to be there but end of the day they are in a swingers club as it’s something that interests them, be they play, watch or whatever |
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We definitely feel nervous about visiting a club for the first time. It's the unknown of what is behind the doors and how we will be received and if we find people we like.
There is also an awful lot of excitement too. |
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"
I meant everyone is there for the same reason aka they want to be in a swingers club and whatever that may entail for them. Obviously everyone there have different desires or reasons to be there but end of the day they are in a swingers club as it’s something that interests them, be they play, watch or whatever "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We recently went to a club for the first time and like you were both really nervous but we had a great time. We only played with eachother while a couple of people watched but he played pool with some single men and chatted to some couples, everyone was really nice and not pushy either. Obviously we can only judge from our 1 experience though. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Is it normal? Guessing it is! We are new to the scene so have no idea what’s it’s going to be like.
It’s the not knowing what to expect, despite reading lots on the forums, everyone saying how lovely and friendly everyone are and such a good laugh etc.
Both really nervous
"
Very Very normal always remember one thing. It's nice to have fun, amazing even but you don't HAVE to! Just do whatever you're comfortable with there. Always found the very horny experiences. Good luck and have fun  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"
Very Very normal always remember one thing. It's nice to have fun, amazing even but you don't HAVE to! Just do whatever you're comfortable with there. Always found the very horny experiences. Good luck and have fun "
Yep, that’s what we need to remember. We’ve had a couple of very fun socials so we’ll see how it goes  |
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VA has a bar and dance floor as you enter. So you can just get a drink and relax there.
As first timers you will almost certainly get a tour of the place.
It’s worth mentioning that the ‘play’ areas are all open and not private.
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By *izredCouple
over a year ago
mid cornwall |
"Is it normal? Guessing it is! We are new to the scene so have no idea what’s it’s going to be like.
It’s the not knowing what to expect, despite reading lots on the forums, everyone saying how lovely and friendly everyone are and such a good laugh etc.
Both really nervous
"
We are going to our first club in a few weeks. It will be our first swinging experience and we are really excited/ nervous about it.
It's great reading the forums to get an idea of what it might be like, but it's also great letting our imaginations run wild, thinking about what it will be like and how we will feel.about it once actually there. |
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By *eachy123Woman
over a year ago
Rochdale/Manchester/Blackpool and were ever the mood takes me |
Everyone's nervous first time somewere new I still get nervous going to a new club and I've been hosting 5 years
Just enjoy your night and try not to drink to much with your nerves as it could spoil your night xx hope this helps xx |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Everyone's nervous first time somewere new I still get nervous going to a new club and I've been hosting 5 years
Just enjoy your night and try not to drink to much with your nerves as it could spoil your night xx hope this helps xx"
Thanks, I’m sure we’ll be fine. Just new and all that. Already said we won’t drink too much, so hopefully we stick to it  |
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