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Partner nervous about 3some
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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So iv recently started seeing a naughty girl.
We ve spoke about things we have done and want to do and one is mmf 3some. But she's scared/nervous to actual go threw with it.
Any ideas or tips that can help ease her nerves, and make her feel more excited to try it.
Ps it's still early days with us, it's just fwb at this stage so that's why I still have single profile lol. |
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So you are lucky enough to have a FWB with who you are having a great time together......
And she is "scared/nervous" to go for MfM 3sum?
Why freak her out with something which she is clearly unhappy with.
You may well end up with nothing at all, no more FWB! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"So you are lucky enough to have a FWB with who you are having a great time together......
And she is "scared/nervous" to go for MfM 3sum?
Why freak her out with something which she is clearly unhappy with.
You may well end up with nothing at all, no more FWB!"
Scared is probly the wrong word I used. She does want to try it, she's said that to me, but just needs that little bit of confidence to go threw with itv |
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By *jonesMan
over a year ago
Plymouth |
Meet a chap socially , if you get on , and she likes him and you have a nice flirty drink and there is a bit of chemistry...The nerves will soon fade into the background ... In my experience ...the challenge is finding the right guy ...
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By *oxy jWoman
over a year ago
somerset |
wait till shes ready if she ever will be ... some people like the thought but dont want the reality .. dont push her she'll hate you for it in the long run ...id concentrate on the relationship side of things first as it takes a strong together couple to really swing weak couples / one sided couples never last long |
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"So you are lucky enough to have a FWB with who you are having a great time together......
And she is "scared/nervous" to go for MfM 3sum?
Why freak her out with something which she is clearly unhappy with.
You may well end up with nothing at all, no more FWB!
Scared is probly the wrong word I used. She does want to try it, she's said that to me, but just needs that little bit of confidence to go threw with itv"
As others have said just go slow. Make sure it’s someone have some connection with and chemistry. Not a random person. It might take a while but if wants she probably needs to do and will relax in time. Will be best then and hopefully fun for all |
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"wait till shes ready if she ever will be ... some people like the thought but dont want the reality .. dont push her she'll hate you for it in the long run ...id concentrate on the relationship side of things first as it takes a strong together couple to really swing weak couples / one sided couples never last long"
This 100% to many push their partner into it |
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"wait till shes ready if she ever will be ... some people like the thought but dont want the reality .. dont push her she'll hate you for it in the long run ...id concentrate on the relationship side of things first as it takes a strong together couple to really swing weak couples / one sided couples never last long
This 100% to many push their partner into it"
Could not agree more. So many guys have this fantasy and think they can just go for it quick after going to the pub. It does not work like. Be patient and end result will be so much better. If she changes mind she is still a lovely person and it’s her choice and should not judge |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Thanks so far for all your advice, I'd just like to say I'm not pushing it onto her, as I said we ve spoke about it, she's told me she's nervous,so iv tried to be supportive, and just came on here to seek some advice |
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"Thanks so far for all your advice, I'd just like to say I'm not pushing it onto her, as I said we ve spoke about it, she's told me she's nervous,so iv tried to be supportive, and just came on here to seek some advice "
Great. I hope it happens for you |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Thanks so far for all your advice, I'd just like to say I'm not pushing it onto her, as I said we ve spoke about it, she's told me she's nervous,so iv tried to be supportive, and just came on here to seek some advice
Great. I hope it happens for you"
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By *host63Man
over a year ago
Bedfont Feltham |
Best leave the idea for now a d just go to socials and soft swing and maybe take her to a greedy Girls night at a club and just chill and tell her to take her time and do whatever she feels comfortable with.
Take away any pressure and she might feel comfortable enough to take the next step |
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"So iv recently started seeing a naughty girl.
We ve spoke about things we have done and want to do and one is mmf 3some. But she's scared/nervous to actual go threw with it.
Any ideas or tips that can help ease her nerves, and make her feel more excited to try it.
Ps it's still early days with us, it's just fwb at this stage so that's why I still have single profile lol. "
Go at her pace. Be mindful that it may never happen. |
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"So iv recently started seeing a naughty girl.
We ve spoke about things we have done and want to do and one is mmf 3some. But she's scared/nervous to actual go threw with it.
Any ideas or tips that can help ease her nerves, and make her feel more excited to try it.
Ps it's still early days with us, it's just fwb at this stage so that's why I still have single profile lol. "
Why do you think she needs to feel more excited to try it? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"So iv recently started seeing a naughty girl.
We ve spoke about things we have done and want to do and one is mmf 3some. But she's scared/nervous to actual go threw with it.
Any ideas or tips that can help ease her nerves, and make her feel more excited to try it.
Ps it's still early days with us, it's just fwb at this stage so that's why I still have single profile lol.
Why do you think she needs to feel more excited to try it?"
To try overcome her nerves as she does want to do it |
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By *lexV16Man
over a year ago
Welling |
From my own experience - don’t do it now. Let her live with that thought for a while. Watch some 3some porn with her.
Ideally, if possible, get her to a club and let her watch, maybe play with her and take it from there |
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Maybe a club, make it clear you won't be going to play with anyone and she gets to pick the guy etc.
A lot also depends on what you define as a 3some. You probably need to discuss the nitty gritty detail. Mmf can often come across as two dominant guys having their wicked way with a girl, where as often the reality is that she can be much more in control than she might think is acceptable. |
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By *llaandGCouple
over a year ago
London |
Talk well and build confidence between you both - understand what you’re both looking to get out of experience. I also felt same but very fortunate to have a very considerate partner who listens and talks really well. Closeness before and after helps too. Good luck.
E |
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I suggest that you try to find out exactly why she is nervous.
There may be many reasons. One that often bothers a special lady who really likes you is - 'What if we do this and I am enjoying this other guy and my guy gets all upset? Could I lose him simply by doing what he wants?'
She must be totally confident in your reaction as well as happy to fuck the other man. Slowly and masses of communication. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I don't like this topic. Just take no as no. If she brings it up again, great, if not, it's your fantasy not hers "
Me too. I’ve had mmfs at parties but I’ve never arranged my own exclusive mmf, despite loving the idea, because it’s a lot for a woman! I’ve had casual partners in the past who’ve tried to push and it just makes me go the other way and lose interest! I think as another responder mentioned - letting her take the reins and organise it would be best. Otherwise just leave it as a fantasy x |
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"I wonder if it ever happens that the female of the couple wonders how she can get her male to explore a threesome?
For mfm? Sure does!"
Is that any different process when trying to "convince" them to explore their boundaries.? |
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Loads of people get nervous about their first 3some. I have had a few FWBs who really wanted to try it but were anxious about it, I tried taking them to a swingers club purely as an observer to see what goes on there with no expectation of any action happening. Sometimes they decide to have a go there and then and other times we get home and discuss it and see if they want to go again but participate and sometimes it is a firm no.
I find it easier at the clubs than arranging a specific guy to join us but everyone is different.
Just remember there’s a big difference between encouraging participation in a shared fantasy and helping them overcome their nerves and pushing someone into doing something they don’t want to. From what you’ve said she sounds interested but has reservations, start by talking through what her concerns are and see what you can do to address them. If she seems open to it suggest going to a club as an observer.
Best of luck! |
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100% make sure that she's comfortable, wants to try stuff, and talk as much as you can about how exactly you want things to pan out. Make sure she knows nothing's expected of her and if you do get as far as meeting anyone, control of the evening is with her - she can change her mind or call things off at any point. If you two do still want to proceed, just agree to meet a guy for a social - make sure he knows that's all it is, see if she's comfortable with the whole dynamic. If so, things can move on gradually after that, but basically leave the ball in her court, make sure that she's safe and comfortable and you're both being honest about what you want. |
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