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Sexless Rel... Discussion
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
I very much doubt I'm not the only 1 when writing this who is in a sexless relationship.
Never in mood, always tired,soon as she in bed she asleep.Get no loving,touching, no oral, doesn't like doing it anymore! just wanks me off instead and thats once in a blue moon 
Togetherness we're great. Just no activity in the bedroom. We used to have a good sex life, I have a high sex drive..she hasn't
I work long hours and still get horny and in the mood..just she doesn't anymore
Discuss |
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I wonder what her side of it is. Are you only affectionate when you want sex? Do you leave her to take care of domestic life - not just cooking and cleaning, but remembering birthdays and family arrangements? |
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By *uzie69xTV/TS
over a year ago
Maidstone |
"There does seem to be a lot of men in the same boat if the messages we get are anything to go on. "
This... I get so many unfulfilled men.
OP, do your partner a favour. Be honest with her as you are here... |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I wonder what her side of it is. Are you only affectionate when you want sex? Do you leave her to take care of domestic life - not just cooking and cleaning, but remembering birthdays and family arrangements? "
That's sexist. Not all men are hopeless lay abouts. |
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"I wonder what her side of it is. Are you only affectionate when you want sex? Do you leave her to take care of domestic life - not just cooking and cleaning, but remembering birthdays and family arrangements?
That's sexist. Not all men are hopeless lay abouts. "
Not all men expect their wives to want to fuck them all the time |
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"I wonder what her side of it is. Are you only affectionate when you want sex? Do you leave her to take care of domestic life - not just cooking and cleaning, but remembering birthdays and family arrangements?
That's sexist. Not all men are hopeless lay abouts.
Not all men expect their wives to want to fuck them all the time "
give the guy a break  |
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"I wonder what her side of it is. Are you only affectionate when you want sex? Do you leave her to take care of domestic life - not just cooking and cleaning, but remembering birthdays and family arrangements?
That's sexist. Not all men are hopeless lay abouts.
Not all men expect their wives to want to fuck them all the time give the guy a break "
What? The OP calls ppl sexist for commenting |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Happens to women too, my hubby is older than me and couldn't keep up with my desires.
We had a long chat about it one evening and he suggested that i find someone to keep me satisfied, which i did.
Suprisingly that actually improved our own sex life as well. |
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"I wonder what her side of it is. Are you only affectionate when you want sex? Do you leave her to take care of domestic life - not just cooking and cleaning, but remembering birthdays and family arrangements?
That's sexist. Not all men are hopeless lay abouts. "
Where did I say "all men are hopeless layabouts"? |
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"I wonder what her side of it is. Are you only affectionate when you want sex? Do you leave her to take care of domestic life - not just cooking and cleaning, but remembering birthdays and family arrangements?
That's sexist. Not all men are hopeless lay abouts. "
To be fair, she only asked you the questions. Valid questions i think, and maybe the answer is no. But i think its worth asking |
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"I wonder what her side of it is. Are you only affectionate when you want sex? Do you leave her to take care of domestic life - not just cooking and cleaning, but remembering birthdays and family arrangements?
That's sexist. Not all men are hopeless lay abouts.
Not all men expect their wives to want to fuck them all the time give the guy a break
What? The OP calls ppl sexist for commenting "
Your hostile attitude toward the OP is not helpful |
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"I wonder what her side of it is. Are you only affectionate when you want sex? Do you leave her to take care of domestic life - not just cooking and cleaning, but remembering birthdays and family arrangements?
That's sexist. Not all men are hopeless lay abouts.
To be fair, she only asked you the questions. Valid questions i think, and maybe the answer is no. But i think its worth asking"
The reactive, defensive response is very telling. |
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"I wonder what her side of it is. Are you only affectionate when you want sex? Do you leave her to take care of domestic life - not just cooking and cleaning, but remembering birthdays and family arrangements?
That's sexist. Not all men are hopeless lay abouts.
To be fair, she only asked you the questions. Valid questions i think, and maybe the answer is no. But i think its worth asking
The reactive, defensive response is very telling."
Perhaps. He may also just have misinterpreted. Im prepared to give him the benefit of the doubt for now |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I wonder what her side of it is. Are you only affectionate when you want sex? Do you leave her to take care of domestic life - not just cooking and cleaning, but remembering birthdays and family arrangements?
That's sexist. Not all men are hopeless lay abouts.
To be fair, she only asked you the questions. Valid questions i think, and maybe the answer is no. But i think its worth asking
The reactive, defensive response is very telling.
Perhaps. He may also just have misinterpreted. Im prepared to give him the benefit of the doubt for now"
He must be breathing a sigh of relief. God knows what he would have done if you didn’t give him the benefit of the doubt |
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"I wonder what her side of it is. Are you only affectionate when you want sex? Do you leave her to take care of domestic life - not just cooking and cleaning, but remembering birthdays and family arrangements?
That's sexist. Not all men are hopeless lay abouts.
To be fair, she only asked you the questions. Valid questions i think, and maybe the answer is no. But i think its worth asking
The reactive, defensive response is very telling.
Perhaps. He may also just have misinterpreted. Im prepared to give him the benefit of the doubt for now
He must be breathing a sigh of relief. God knows what he would have done if you didn’t give him the benefit of the doubt "
Not sure why you felt the need to take that attitude with me but i hope you feel better after it anyway |
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"I wonder what her side of it is. Are you only affectionate when you want sex? Do you leave her to take care of domestic life - not just cooking and cleaning, but remembering birthdays and family arrangements?
That's sexist. Not all men are hopeless lay abouts.
Not all men expect their wives to want to fuck them all the time give the guy a break
What? The OP calls ppl sexist for commenting
Your hostile attitude toward the OP is not helpful"
Not hostile at all, I just see things from the poor woman's perspective. Why OP is asking for people to "discuss" his wife's lack of sexual interest |
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"I wonder what her side of it is. Are you only affectionate when you want sex? Do you leave her to take care of domestic life - not just cooking and cleaning, but remembering birthdays and family arrangements?
That's sexist. Not all men are hopeless lay abouts.
Not all men expect their wives to want to fuck them all the time give the guy a break
What? The OP calls ppl sexist for commenting
Your hostile attitude toward the OP is not helpful
Not hostile at all, I just see things from the poor woman's perspective. Why OP is asking for people to "discuss" his wife's lack of sexual interest "
Well none of us know the woman so i dont see the issue with discussing it. Its anonymous after all. Her identity is completely unknown |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You're quite young to be in a sexless relationship. Was it ok when you first met?
When you say you've tried to talk to her - how many times? What does she say?
|
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"I wonder what her side of it is. Are you only affectionate when you want sex? Do you leave her to take care of domestic life - not just cooking and cleaning, but remembering birthdays and family arrangements?
That's sexist. Not all men are hopeless lay abouts.
Not all men expect their wives to want to fuck them all the time give the guy a break
What? The OP calls ppl sexist for commenting
Your hostile attitude toward the OP is not helpful
Not hostile at all, I just see things from the poor woman's perspective. Why OP is asking for people to "discuss" his wife's lack of sexual interest
Well none of us know the woman so i dont see the issue with discussing it. Its anonymous after all. Her identity is completely unknown"
I guess I'm just trying to stick up for the undefended wife. It's hers and hers alone reasons why she doesn't want to have sex with her husband  I still maintain that the OP should seek help and ask her directly  |
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"I wonder what her side of it is. Are you only affectionate when you want sex? Do you leave her to take care of domestic life - not just cooking and cleaning, but remembering birthdays and family arrangements?
That's sexist. Not all men are hopeless lay abouts.
Not all men expect their wives to want to fuck them all the time give the guy a break
What? The OP calls ppl sexist for commenting
Your hostile attitude toward the OP is not helpful
Not hostile at all, I just see things from the poor woman's perspective. Why OP is asking for people to "discuss" his wife's lack of sexual interest
Well none of us know the woman so i dont see the issue with discussing it. Its anonymous after all. Her identity is completely unknown
I guess I'm just trying to stick up for the undefended wife. It's hers and hers alone reasons why she doesn't want to have sex with her husband I still maintain that the OP should seek help and ask her directly "
And he said he has, but to no avail.
Im not taking anyones side by the way, im just willing to listen to him at least |
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"I wonder what her side of it is. Are you only affectionate when you want sex? Do you leave her to take care of domestic life - not just cooking and cleaning, but remembering birthdays and family arrangements?
That's sexist. Not all men are hopeless lay abouts.
Not all men expect their wives to want to fuck them all the time give the guy a break
What? The OP calls ppl sexist for commenting
Your hostile attitude toward the OP is not helpful
Not hostile at all, I just see things from the poor woman's perspective. Why OP is asking for people to "discuss" his wife's lack of sexual interest
Well none of us know the woman so i dont see the issue with discussing it. Its anonymous after all. Her identity is completely unknown
I guess I'm just trying to stick up for the undefended wife. It's hers and hers alone reasons why she doesn't want to have sex with her husband I still maintain that the OP should seek help and ask her directly
And he said he has, but to no avail.
Im not taking anyones side by the way, im just willing to listen to him at least"
In fairness you do sound to be on the OPs "side" as you don't seem to be able to see the wifes perspective. Try to see it by the woman's side like me |
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"I wonder what her side of it is. Are you only affectionate when you want sex? Do you leave her to take care of domestic life - not just cooking and cleaning, but remembering birthdays and family arrangements?
That's sexist. Not all men are hopeless lay abouts.
Not all men expect their wives to want to fuck them all the time give the guy a break
What? The OP calls ppl sexist for commenting
Your hostile attitude toward the OP is not helpful
Not hostile at all, I just see things from the poor woman's perspective. Why OP is asking for people to "discuss" his wife's lack of sexual interest
Well none of us know the woman so i dont see the issue with discussing it. Its anonymous after all. Her identity is completely unknown
I guess I'm just trying to stick up for the undefended wife. It's hers and hers alone reasons why she doesn't want to have sex with her husband I still maintain that the OP should seek help and ask her directly
And he said he has, but to no avail.
Im not taking anyones side by the way, im just willing to listen to him at least
In fairness you do sound to be on the OPs "side" as you don't seem to be able to see the wifes perspective. Try to see it by the woman's side like me"
What is the womans side exactly?
By the way, im not on anyones side. Im just interested in the thread and the subject matter. He was asked some interesting questions by another contributor which he hasnt answered yet. That's the kind of engagement i look for, nothing taking 'sides' |
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Communication is key. If that’s not something she’s willing to discuss then the issue is deeper routed and seeking counselling is likely the best route. Without communication a relationship is two people together. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I very much doubt I'm not the only 1 when writing this who is in a sexless relationship.
Never in mood, always tired,soon as she in bed she asleep.Get no loving,touching, no oral, doesn't like doing it anymore! just wanks me off instead and thats once in a blue moon
Togetherness we're great. Just no activity in the bedroom. We used to have a good sex life, I have a high sex drive..she hasn't
I work long hours and still get horny and in the mood..just she doesn't anymore
Discuss "
Perhaps you just don’t do it for her anymore and she is one of the significant numbers of married ladies who don’t want to be judged until you have walked in her shoes? |
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"I very much doubt I'm not the only 1 when writing this who is in a sexless relationship.
Never in mood, always tired,soon as she in bed she asleep.Get no loving,touching, no oral, doesn't like doing it anymore! just wanks me off instead and thats once in a blue moon
Togetherness we're great. Just no activity in the bedroom. We used to have a good sex life, I have a high sex drive..she hasn't
I work long hours and still get horny and in the mood..just she doesn't anymore
Discuss "
I'd suggest you both talk about why.... and perhaps both go to therapy together. It can often help. Try being sympathetic as to why |
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"Communication is key. If that’s not something she’s willing to discuss then the issue is deeper routed and seeking counselling is likely the best route. Without communication a relationship is two people together. "
•
Perfect. 
If only all/majority of the responses on this thread had been equally spirited, neutral and helpful.
I wonder what the outcome of this thread would have been if the tables were turned....?  |
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"I very much doubt I'm not the only 1 when writing this who is in a sexless relationship.
Never in mood, always tired,soon as she in bed she asleep.Get no loving,touching, no oral, doesn't like doing it anymore! just wanks me off instead and thats once in a blue moon
Togetherness we're great. Just no activity in the bedroom. We used to have a good sex life, I have a high sex drive..she hasn't
I work long hours and still get horny and in the mood..just she doesn't anymore
Discuss
Perhaps you just don’t do it for her anymore and she is one of the significant numbers of married ladies who don’t want to be judged until you have walked in her shoes?"
This 100%  |
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Our marriage became sexless many years ago. After an initial struggle with myself as to whether I could and wanted to live with that I accepted that our sexual needs are just very different. Yes, we worked at it for a while , sought help etc but as in all other respects our marriage is good and we are a great partnership. It’s not what I wanted and is why I am here, well into my 70s and as horny as ever.
Yes, I am upfront on my profile as to my situation... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I very much doubt I'm not the only 1 when writing this who is in a sexless relationship.
Never in mood, always tired,soon as she in bed she asleep.Get no loving,touching, no oral, doesn't like doing it anymore! just wanks me off instead and thats once in a blue moon
Togetherness we're great. Just no activity in the bedroom. We used to have a good sex life, I have a high sex drive..she hasn't
I work long hours and still get horny and in the mood..just she doesn't anymore
Discuss "
Hello ….
For how long has this situation been like this for ?
Days , weeks , months , years ?
Drama , stress , depression , are strong conduits to kill the sex drive … added to fatigue and sleep deprivation . Etc etc
I suggest try find if everything is ok with her .
How she feels , her emotions , is she missing something ?
Honesty , open communication , very important .
You guys need to discuss interests and options available for your future .
A couple that doesn’t talk is a very dangerous position .
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Could your wife have found out that you're on here and have met a woman? 
Probably on here herself for all I know .
Hence the lack of love"
This is why a couple who doesn’t talk is a dangerous position …
Then both think wrong things and don’t talk
Both thinking the other is a cheater and no one is .
Or other things whatever
Open communication , honesty and trust is your best weapons and your best friends …
Drama invaded my daughters mother house ,
A dark evil monster , I tried to fight back all I could , she wouldn’t let me ….
If drama on the wrong takes over , U guys may struggle to get it back .
U guys need to talk ….
If u not a cheat , get out of on-line , delete everything and go and claim your dream
What’s is yours .
If the shit hit the fan … I suggest take it easy before move on on rebounds and do something stupid ….
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I wonder what her side of it is. Are you only affectionate when you want sex? Do you leave her to take care of domestic life - not just cooking and cleaning, but remembering birthdays and family arrangements?
That's sexist. Not all men are hopeless lay abouts.
Not all men expect their wives to want to fuck them all the time give the guy a break
What? The OP calls ppl sexist for commenting
Your hostile attitude toward the OP is not helpful
Not hostile at all, I just see things from the poor woman's perspective. Why OP is asking for people to "discuss" his wife's lack of sexual interest "
Because is looking for answers cause he can’t understand what can be wrong when they were happy with good drive making love |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Could your wife have found out that you're on here and have met a woman?
Where does it say he met someone ?
His verification "
Oh …. That ain’t good .
For me someone who tries to cheat but is not sucessfull ( social that goes wrong ) for me is cheat already ….
Flirt others is cheating already ….
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Could your wife have found out that you're on here and have met a woman?
Probably on here herself for all I know .
Hence the lack of love
This is why a couple who doesn’t talk is a dangerous position …
Then both think wrong things and don’t talk
Both thinking the other is a cheater and no one is .
Or other things whatever
Open communication , honesty and trust is your best weapons and your best friends …
Drama invaded my daughters mother house ,
A dark evil monster , I tried to fight back all I could , she wouldn’t let me ….
If drama on the wrong takes over , U guys may struggle to get it back .
U guys need to talk ….
If u not a cheat , get out of on-line , delete everything and go and claim your dream
What’s is yours .
If the shit hit the fan … I suggest take it easy before move on on rebounds and do something stupid ….
"
Like join fab? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I wonder what her side of it is. Are you only affectionate when you want sex? Do you leave her to take care of domestic life - not just cooking and cleaning, but remembering birthdays and family arrangements? "
Exactly these questions, do you initiate sex or intimate affections? Or are you solely relying on her to make the moves? Perhaps she's just tired of the pressure of performing rather than being wooed herself. Only saying as I've actualy been there as the wife that isn't interested because of the daily distractions ontop of being the pleasure initiator
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"Could your wife have found out that you're on here and have met a woman?
Probably on here herself for all I know .
Hence the lack of love
This is why a couple who doesn’t talk is a dangerous position …
Then both think wrong things and don’t talk
Both thinking the other is a cheater and no one is .
Or other things whatever
Open communication , honesty and trust is your best weapons and your best friends …
Drama invaded my daughters mother house ,
A dark evil monster , I tried to fight back all I could , she wouldn’t let me ….
If drama on the wrong takes over , U guys may struggle to get it back .
U guys need to talk ….
If u not a cheat , get out of on-line , delete everything and go and claim your dream
What’s is yours .
If the shit hit the fan … I suggest take it easy before move on on rebounds and do something stupid ….
Like join fab?"
Exactly joins fab, meets a woman 3 months ago and complains why his wife isn't gagging for it?
Then posts a thread why his wife doesn't find him attractive anymore and asks for us to discuss.... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Could your wife have found out that you're on here and have met a woman?
Probably on here herself for all I know .
Hence the lack of love
This is why a couple who doesn’t talk is a dangerous position …
Then both think wrong things and don’t talk
Both thinking the other is a cheater and no one is .
Or other things whatever
Open communication , honesty and trust is your best weapons and your best friends …
Drama invaded my daughters mother house ,
A dark evil monster , I tried to fight back all I could , she wouldn’t let me ….
If drama on the wrong takes over , U guys may struggle to get it back .
U guys need to talk ….
If u not a cheat , get out of on-line , delete everything and go and claim your dream
What’s is yours .
If the shit hit the fan … I suggest take it easy before move on on rebounds and do something stupid ….
Like join fab?"
“ something stupid “ as try to cheat , have sex behind her back , or even worse : a move on , on the wrong .
You stand no chance if someone moves on on the wrong on you …
Cause u the only one who knows how genuine and pure you are . For her and everyone else , you just another wanker and another prick …
Join a website is no good is it ? U trying already …. But maybe is not what you want . Maybe the lack of something u missing is pushing you , …. You failing . …
But you find yourself with muddy feet and feel is not a path you wanna follow , cause trully your pure love is in her , your redemption may not be so challenging , even u on the dodgy already ….
And that is how reality bites your ankles … |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Could your wife have found out that you're on here and have met a woman?
Probably on here herself for all I know .
Hence the lack of love
This is why a couple who doesn’t talk is a dangerous position …
Then both think wrong things and don’t talk
Both thinking the other is a cheater and no one is .
Or other things whatever
Open communication , honesty and trust is your best weapons and your best friends …
Drama invaded my daughters mother house ,
A dark evil monster , I tried to fight back all I could , she wouldn’t let me ….
If drama on the wrong takes over , U guys may struggle to get it back .
U guys need to talk ….
If u not a cheat , get out of on-line , delete everything and go and claim your dream
What’s is yours .
If the shit hit the fan … I suggest take it easy before move on on rebounds and do something stupid ….
Like join fab?
“ something stupid “ as try to cheat , have sex behind her back , or even worse : a move on , on the wrong .
You stand no chance if someone moves on on the wrong on you …
Cause u the only one who knows how genuine and pure you are . For her and everyone else , you just another wanker and another prick …
Join a website is no good is it ? U trying already …. But maybe is not what you want . Maybe the lack of something u missing is pushing you , …. You failing . …
But you find yourself with muddy feet and feel is not a path you wanna follow , cause trully your pure love is in her , your redemption may not be so challenging , even u on the dodgy already ….
And that is how reality bites your ankles … "
Are you ok bro? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Could your wife have found out that you're on here and have met a woman?
Probably on here herself for all I know .
Hence the lack of love
This is why a couple who doesn’t talk is a dangerous position …
Then both think wrong things and don’t talk
Both thinking the other is a cheater and no one is .
Or other things whatever
Open communication , honesty and trust is your best weapons and your best friends …
Drama invaded my daughters mother house ,
A dark evil monster , I tried to fight back all I could , she wouldn’t let me ….
If drama on the wrong takes over , U guys may struggle to get it back .
U guys need to talk ….
If u not a cheat , get out of on-line , delete everything and go and claim your dream
What’s is yours .
If the shit hit the fan … I suggest take it easy before move on on rebounds and do something stupid ….
Like join fab?
Exactly joins fab, meets a woman 3 months ago and complains why his wife isn't gagging for it?
Then posts a thread why his wife doesn't find him attractive anymore and asks for us to discuss.... "
Officially a cheat …. Passed the line u need go after forgiveness now …
Serious .
Don’t know if u guys have kids , u gonna have to tell u totally fucked it up ….
If u lose her at list u lose her respecting her .
U should had try understand what was wrong ..
I did .
For 2 years i fought and resisted the drama .
I tried to understand why , how can I help , ? Where does it came from … how can I kill it ?
And after moved out n start trying to move on
I kept trying fixing it, telling her she was on the wrong and was forcing me to move on
I didn’t wanted too …
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Could your wife have found out that you're on here and have met a woman?
Probably on here herself for all I know .
Hence the lack of love
This is why a couple who doesn’t talk is a dangerous position …
Then both think wrong things and don’t talk
Both thinking the other is a cheater and no one is .
Or other things whatever
Open communication , honesty and trust is your best weapons and your best friends …
Drama invaded my daughters mother house ,
A dark evil monster , I tried to fight back all I could , she wouldn’t let me ….
If drama on the wrong takes over , U guys may struggle to get it back .
U guys need to talk ….
If u not a cheat , get out of on-line , delete everything and go and claim your dream
What’s is yours .
If the shit hit the fan … I suggest take it easy before move on on rebounds and do something stupid ….
Like join fab?
“ something stupid “ as try to cheat , have sex behind her back , or even worse : a move on , on the wrong .
You stand no chance if someone moves on on the wrong on you …
Cause u the only one who knows how genuine and pure you are . For her and everyone else , you just another wanker and another prick …
Join a website is no good is it ? U trying already …. But maybe is not what you want . Maybe the lack of something u missing is pushing you , …. You failing . …
But you find yourself with muddy feet and feel is not a path you wanna follow , cause trully your pure love is in her , your redemption may not be so challenging , even u on the dodgy already ….
And that is how reality bites your ankles …
Are you ok bro?"
No . I’m Alex , what’s your name ? 
Yes I’m fine thank you ^^
And I’m happy Fabs found me on POF and I’m very proud of be part of it ^^ |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I'm very impressed by most (Not all) responses from an obvious reach out of advice, my two cents would be to echo "talk to her" communication is the best key, try to do the best you can to make her happy, could be as simple as help around the house, I've heard this before. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Happens to women too, my hubby is older than me and couldn't keep up with my desires.
We had a long chat about it one evening and he suggested that i find someone to keep me satisfied, which i did.
Suprisingly that actually improved our own sex life as well."
Totally get that. My husband had leukemia and now has no interest in sex.
I still have needs!
People get so hung up on cheating! |
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"Happens to women too, my hubby is older than me and couldn't keep up with my desires.
We had a long chat about it one evening and he suggested that i find someone to keep me satisfied, which i did.
Suprisingly that actually improved our own sex life as well.
Totally get that. My husband had leukemia and now has no interest in sex.
I still have needs!
People get so hung up on cheating! "
I dont follow.
The guy youre quoting isnt cheating as the wife gave him permission.
I dont know what your situation is as youre on here as a couple. Is that with your husband? Of it is then presumably youre not cheating.
Cheating is completely different from playing away with the others knowledge and permission |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Happens to women too, my hubby is older than me and couldn't keep up with my desires.
We had a long chat about it one evening and he suggested that i find someone to keep me satisfied, which i did.
Suprisingly that actually improved our own sex life as well.
Totally get that. My husband had leukemia and now has no interest in sex.
I still have needs!
People get so hung up on cheating! "
Imagine that. Getting hung up on the person you love lying to you and having sex with someone else. Extraordinary. |
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I was in a sexless relationship for years. At first I didn't really notice as we both worked shifts and I was busy with the children. Once they got older it became apparent my partner nolonger had the desire to have sex or even touch or kiss me. He never came to bed with me. Even after a night out if we came home late he would put the TV on and fall asleep on the sofa. It was very soul destroying especially as he would never talk about it with me. I knew things would never changed so I ended up leaving after 25yrs. His side of the family turned against me and even my children didn't speak to me for a good while but alls good now. He was gutted when I left but he was making me so unhappy with his lack of physical contact I knew I had to go for my own mental health. It was a hard thing to do but also the best and now we live in separate houses but remain good friends. |
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Like others, I get inundated with messages from sexless married men. I also have quite a few female friends who don’t have sex with their husbands and that usually boils down to either….
1. Their seeing someone else on the side
2. He’s selfish when it comes to sex or the relationship in general
3. She’s too comfortable to leave and knows he won’t leave her so wanks the husband off occasionally to stop them pestering and continue her comfortable lifestyle.
Whatever the reason, if she refuses to enter into a discussion about it and try to work things out and back to how they used to be, you need to ask yourself the hard truth.
What’s more important to you. Being with her in a sexless marriage or leaving? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
Never in mood, always tired,soon as she in bed she asleep.Get no loving,touching, no oral, doesn't like doing it anymore! just wanks me off instead and thats once in a blue moon
Togetherness we're great. Just no activity in the bedroom. We used to have a good sex life, I have a high sex drive..she hasn't
Discuss "
You've asked for discussion so I'll just suggest talking to her about it. If the togetherness is great, that's fine but that won't last if she finds your looking for fwb here as she's not fulfilling your sexual needs!
I was in the same position with my ex wife afew years ago, ok outside the bedroom, but very little "fun" behind closed doors, and it slowly ate away at me knowing she'd gone off being intimate with me since we'd had kids. When the togetherness outside the bedroom faded too, we inevitably split and later I found she'd been seeing another fella for the last year or so. That made things even worse, but I wish I'd spoken up years ago and confronted her about why things had changed. Maybe I'd have saved several years of upset and heartache! I'd just say cheating is rarely the answer, it'll just lead to regrets and you both getting hurt. |
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Been there, tried talking and like the op I got that thrown back at me. The final nail in the relationship for me was being told that after 26yrs she had never enjoyed sex with me - that crushed me and had me doubting the whole validity of my marriage. Whilst I appreciate that may make me sound shallow but healthy sex life is the glue that holds couples together remove that and you start to wonder just what are you doing, for me then it all came about hope in that staying in the relationship offered non whereas being out of it offered hope - so I left. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Talk to her, spend as much time and effort as you can, listen and do everything you need to do, compromise both of you, but ultimately if you have done all you can to make it work, then don't stay in a loveless marriage, life is too short to spend the next 20 years of your life unhappy |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I wonder what her side of it is. Are you only affectionate when you want sex? Do you leave her to take care of domestic life - not just cooking and cleaning, but remembering birthdays and family arrangements?
That's sexist. Not all men are hopeless lay abouts.
Not all men expect their wives to want to fuck them all the time "
Are you the wife? Lol sound like you have a big chip on your shoulder |
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Yes communication is the thing. Best sex ever when all say what like and explore each others desires. Sadly sometimes it just does not work out. Hope can stay friends and move on. You never know might happen later. Posted in other forum about girl at school did not get on with at time. Met her years later and we just clicked and sexy fun time had |
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