FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > "Mutually beneficial" with couples
"Mutually beneficial" with couples
Jump to: Newest in thread
| |||
| |||
| |||
 | |||
| |||
"I have recently been reading some of the posts on the forum covering a wide range of subjects and have found people’s perspectives to be very interesting, thought-provoking and at times controversial. I have no doubt that this post and my perspective will be just as controversial too but everyone has different standards, values, self-worth and rationality. I searched for a post related to interactions being “mutually beneficial” to no avail hence I decided to start one. This is the choice phrase for many in both messages and profiles and is also very common amongst single men or so-called single men who are in fact usually attached and have unmet sexual needs at home. In my personal experience, most of these men that choose to use these manipulative phrases without any firm basis to demonstrate how in an in-depth way something is “mutually beneficial” are in fact opportunists with a great sense of entitlement who have sole interest in their own selfish needs and who fail to show any consideration or gratitude to others whatsoever. They claim that it is a “mutually beneficial” interaction because they will satisfy the lady. However, on the whole, most married women are already satisfied with their husbands or partner which is why they remain in their committed relationship, therefore in this case these single males are not bringing anything new to the table that does not already exist. In order to look at things fairly and not from one side of the coin, I can concede that they may add some extra spice to the couple’s sexual experience merely due to their presence, to say the least, but they are replaceable in that context too. But likewise being able to join a couple is not a sexual norm in society it’s a taboo that’s more thrilling for single men, a privilege and certainly rarer to find than things that are the norms. Single men would have a greater probability of success arranging one-to-one meets between themselves and a single lady with “mutual sexual needs that need to be fulfilled” than joining a couple in such fantasies. Furthermore one could easily argue that joining a couple will be far more beneficial to single men than the couple, as fantasies which require an extra male can easily be fulfilled by males in couples anyway when the couples meet together and vice versa. So don’t you think that single men should bring more to the table in terms of effort, appreciation and generosity than just themselves and some quick words easily put on verifications, should their mentality and character not be tested, after all, actions speak louder than words. " No posts other than the one I started earlier!! hahaha | |||
 | |||
| |||
| |||
| |||
"I have recently been reading some of the posts on the forum covering a wide range of subjects and have found people’s perspectives to be very interesting, thought-provoking and at times controversial. I have no doubt that this post and my perspective will be just as controversial too but everyone has different standards, values, self-worth and rationality. I searched for a post related to interactions being “mutually beneficial” to no avail hence I decided to start one. This is the choice phrase for many in both messages and profiles and is also very common amongst single men or so-called single men who are in fact usually attached and have unmet sexual needs at home. In my personal experience, most of these men that choose to use these manipulative phrases without any firm basis to demonstrate how in an in-depth way something is “mutually beneficial” are in fact opportunists with a great sense of entitlement who have sole interest in their own selfish needs and who fail to show any consideration or gratitude to others whatsoever. They claim that it is a “mutually beneficial” interaction because they will satisfy the lady. However, on the whole, most married women are already satisfied with their husbands or partner which is why they remain in their committed relationship, therefore in this case these single males are not bringing anything new to the table that does not already exist. In order to look at things fairly and not from one side of the coin, I can concede that they may add some extra spice to the couple’s sexual experience merely due to their presence, to say the least, but they are replaceable in that context too. But likewise being able to join a couple is not a sexual norm in society it’s a taboo that’s more thrilling for single men, a privilege and certainly rarer to find than things that are the norms. Single men would have a greater probability of success arranging one-to-one meets between themselves and a single lady with “mutual sexual needs that need to be fulfilled” than joining a couple in such fantasies. Furthermore one could easily argue that joining a couple will be far more beneficial to single men than the couple, as fantasies which require an extra male can easily be fulfilled by males in couples anyway when the couples meet together and vice versa. So don’t you think that single men should bring more to the table in terms of effort, appreciation and generosity than just themselves and some quick words easily put on verifications, should their mentality and character not be tested, after all, actions speak louder than words. " Absolutely incredible post that covers all bases. I'd love to go into complete detail but after a back shift and a few beers before bed I'm scared I'd be miss representing my honest opinion. If you have a nosey at some of my previous form posts you may get the gist of why I'm in agreement x | |||
 | |||
"I have recently been reading some of the posts on the forum covering a wide range of subjects and have found people’s perspectives to be very interesting, thought-provoking and at times controversial. I have no doubt that this post and my perspective will be just as controversial too but everyone has different standards, values, self-worth and rationality. I searched for a post related to interactions being “mutually beneficial” to no avail hence I decided to start one. This is the choice phrase for many in both messages and profiles and is also very common amongst single men or so-called single men who are in fact usually attached and have unmet sexual needs at home. In my personal experience, most of these men that choose to use these manipulative phrases without any firm basis to demonstrate how in an in-depth way something is “mutually beneficial” are in fact opportunists with a great sense of entitlement who have sole interest in their own selfish needs and who fail to show any consideration or gratitude to others whatsoever. They claim that it is a “mutually beneficial” interaction because they will satisfy the lady. However, on the whole, most married women are already satisfied with their husbands or partner which is why they remain in their committed relationship, therefore in this case these single males are not bringing anything new to the table that does not already exist. In order to look at things fairly and not from one side of the coin, I can concede that they may add some extra spice to the couple’s sexual experience merely due to their presence, to say the least, but they are replaceable in that context too. But likewise being able to join a couple is not a sexual norm in society it’s a taboo that’s more thrilling for single men, a privilege and certainly rarer to find than things that are the norms. Single men would have a greater probability of success arranging one-to-one meets between themselves and a single lady with “mutual sexual needs that need to be fulfilled” than joining a couple in such fantasies. Furthermore one could easily argue that joining a couple will be far more beneficial to single men than the couple, as fantasies which require an extra male can easily be fulfilled by males in couples anyway when the couples meet together and vice versa. So don’t you think that single men should bring more to the table in terms of effort, appreciation and generosity than just themselves and some quick words easily put on verifications, should their mentality and character not be tested, after all, actions speak louder than words. " Can I ask , do you wink at yourself when you brush your teeth ? | |||
| |||
"Of course, there will be differing opinions and perspectives when the mentality, self-worth and standards by which one lives differ. Joining a couple is not a sexual norm in society it’s a taboo that’s more thrilling for single men, a privilege and certainly rarer to find than things that are the norms. Single men would have a greater probability of success arranging one-to-one meets between themselves and a single lady with “mutual sexual needs that need to be fulfilled” than joining a couple in such fantasies. Whereas when couples meet couples that would equate to mutual benefit. Bringing a single male may bring additional excitement but it is certainly irrational to believe it is mutual benefit. Couples that demonstrate irrationality will be cheered from the stands by opportunist single males for spreading such irrational thinking and thought processes." What's irrational about asking a single guy to join you? It's no more irrational than asking a single woman or a couple. If you want to just include couples that's your choice - but that's wife swapping, not swinging. Swinging is an inclusive activity open to both couples and singles. Asking any third party, be it a single or a couple, to join you in the bedroom is not a societal norm and the inclusion of any extra bodies is perceived as taboo by many. I think you really need to reconsider your attitude to others if you want to participate in the open, inclusive world of swinging. Couples aren't superior to singles. The only irrational thoughts I've seen in this forum thread are your own. A | |||
"I disagree completely. It's important that the single guy is an equal party in any meet, not a 'guest', not there to meet the needs of the couple and certainly no less important than anyone else in the room. All encounters should be 'mutually beneficial' and not one sided. The attitude you've displayed is one of the reasons you see so many frustrated posts from single males regarding the treatment they get from some couples and does nothing more than promote the idea that men are less welcome on the scene than couples and single women. You couldn't have got it more wrong if you tried. A"  This!
A single guy is not a play thing to be used for a couples amusement
Everyone in the room has desires, needs, and boundaries that need to be respected. If you can't offer people basic human decency then you shouldn't be meeting them.
It's got to be tough for a single to join an established couple. Treat them with respect!
 K x | |||
| |||
| |||
| |||
| |||
| |||
| |||
 As already eluded to, swinging is meant to be a two-way street, if you don’t even have the decency to compromise and take into consideration the thoughts, feelings and boundaries of others, it’s a bit presumptuous to expect others to submit to your demands don’t you think?
I’d say unless your willing to change your attitude, outlook and perspective the one thing you can “expect” is a one way ticket to whole heap of people’s block list. | |||
"Whenever I see threads of this nature by couples I usually tend to assume it’s the male half usually writing this. Projecting his own insecurities upon the wonderful world of fab. To be fair OP… your profile is itself is extremely contradictory in itself. The additional party/parties coming into your dynamic are expect to have no expectations yet you’ve explicitly outlined a number of expectations of your own. As already eluded to, swinging is meant to be a two-way street, if you don’t even have the decency to compromise and take into consideration the thoughts, feelings and boundaries of others, it’s a bit presumptuous to expect others to submit to your demands don’t you think?
I’d say unless your willing to change your attitude, outlook and perspective the one thing you can “expect” is a one way ticket to whole heap of people’s block list. "Further to this, I was interested to see the profile states they’re looking for GENEROUS men in capital letters. I wonder what this means exactly…..  | |||
"Whenever I see threads of this nature by couples I usually tend to assume it’s the male half usually writing this. Projecting his own insecurities upon the wonderful world of fab. To be fair OP… your profile is itself is extremely contradictory in itself. The additional party/parties coming into your dynamic are expect to have no expectations yet you’ve explicitly outlined a number of expectations of your own. As already eluded to, swinging is meant to be a two-way street, if you don’t even have the decency to compromise and take into consideration the thoughts, feelings and boundaries of others, it’s a bit presumptuous to expect others to submit to your demands don’t you think?
I’d say unless your willing to change your attitude, outlook and perspective the one thing you can “expect” is a one way ticket to whole heap of people’s block list.
Further to this, I was interested to see the profile states they’re looking for GENEROUS men in capital letters. I wonder what this means exactly….. "My guess is men who are willing to jump through hoops and submit to their every demand and wish and be content with gaining nothing in return…. Just a hunch, I could be wrong *shrugs shoulders* | |||
 | |||
| |||
"Of course, there will be differing opinions and perspectives when the mentality, self-worth and standards by which one lives differ. Joining a couple is not a sexual norm in society it’s a taboo that’s more thrilling for single men, a privilege and certainly rarer to find than things that are the norms. Single men would have a greater probability of success arranging one-to-one meets between themselves and a single lady with “mutual sexual needs that need to be fulfilled” than joining a couple in such fantasies. Whereas when couples meet couples that would equate to mutual benefit. Bringing a single male may bring additional excitement but it is certainly irrational to believe it is mutual benefit. Couples that demonstrate irrationality will be cheered from the stands by opportunist single males for spreading such irrational thinking and thought processes." Are you the man or the woman of the couple? What do you expect men to bring to your meets? Cock? Gifts? Cash? | |||
| |||
| |||
| |||
| |||
 | |||
| |||
| |||
| |||
| |||
"Too long, didn’t read. I tell you what, though. When I’ve seen ‘mutually beneficial’ on a young single woman’s profile I’ve been assuming it was an attempt at subtly saying they wanted cash for meets." Yes we have seen that. We had young guys asking for money also so not just a woman thing. | |||
"Too long, didn’t read. I tell you what, though. When I’ve seen ‘mutually beneficial’ on a young single woman’s profile I’ve been assuming it was an attempt at subtly saying they wanted cash for meets." Well this just proves my point that people of your attitude don't give importance to others or the details and like to take the easy route of making absurd irrational assumptions without knowing the person's standard of living. If the facts were present you may find that your comment turns out to be an oxymoron. What other easy routes could you be looking for in order to have your cake and eat it? | |||
"Too long, didn’t read. I tell you what, though. When I’ve seen ‘mutually beneficial’ on a young single woman’s profile I’ve been assuming it was an attempt at subtly saying they wanted cash for meets. Well this just proves my point that people of your attitude don't give importance to others or the details and like to take the easy route of making absurd irrational assumptions without knowing the person's standard of living. If the facts were present you may find that your comment turns out to be an oxymoron. What other easy routes could you be looking for in order to have your cake and eat it?" There is no contradictory juxtaposition of words or phrases in his comment that might indicate an oxymoron, whatever facts might be present. | |||
"Wut? "Six weeks on my stance is still the same | |||
| |||
"Too long, didn’t read. I tell you what, though. When I’ve seen ‘mutually beneficial’ on a young single woman’s profile I’ve been assuming it was an attempt at subtly saying they wanted cash for meets. Well this just proves my point that people of your attitude don't give importance to others or the details and like to take the easy route of making absurd irrational assumptions without knowing the person's standard of living. If the facts were present you may find that your comment turns out to be an oxymoron. What other easy routes could you be looking for in order to have your cake and eat it? There is no contradictory juxtaposition of words or phrases in his comment that might indicate an oxymoron, whatever facts might be present. " If the facts were present you may find that your comment turns out to be an oxymoron... hence based on that contradictory, is what is being said. | |||
"Wut?
Six weeks on my stance is still the same "Well you are entitled for your stance to remain the same, if that is your standards/values that is fine but ours differ that is why everyone here is unique and should be treated in an individual way. | |||
"All sounds like verbal diarrhoea" It may be a good idea to cut down on the lust as it may greatly reduce the chances of infection and result in a cleaner mouth. | |||
"Wut?
Six weeks on my stance is still the same
Well you are entitled for your stance to remain the same, if that is your standards/values that is fine but ours differ that is why everyone here is unique and should be treated in an individual way."Oh, I'm literally dying to know exactly what standards/values you've taken from my comment? I'm also curious if you'd expect me to be 'generous' in regards to what I'd potentially bring to the table? | |||
"Wut?
Six weeks on my stance is still the same
Well you are entitled for your stance to remain the same, if that is your standards/values that is fine but ours differ that is why everyone here is unique and should be treated in an individual way.
Oh, I'm literally dying to know exactly what standards/values you've taken from my comment? I'm also curious if you'd expect me to be 'generous' in regards to what I'd potentially bring to the table? "The fact that you said "Wut?" implies that you disagree with our standpoint. That in itself indicates that our standards/values are clearly different to yours. It is all very clear that is why the discussion is taking place on this forum. Let us put it out there that our standards for a female are akin to a male, we test people in order to determine if they are right for us or not. Consider this, let me ask the question: If you truly believe that all parties are equal have you ever attended an event or party and insisted that you pay the same fees as a single male? If so more power to you and I am convinced. If not, is it a case of shouting from the sidelines but doing another thing. | |||
"Too long, didn’t read. I tell you what, though. When I’ve seen ‘mutually beneficial’ on a young single woman’s profile I’ve been assuming it was an attempt at subtly saying they wanted cash for meets. Well this just proves my point that people of your attitude don't give importance to others or the details and like to take the easy route of making absurd irrational assumptions without knowing the person's standard of living. If the facts were present you may find that your comment turns out to be an oxymoron. What other easy routes could you be looking for in order to have your cake and eat it? There is no contradictory juxtaposition of words or phrases in his comment that might indicate an oxymoron, whatever facts might be present. If the facts were present you may find that your comment turns out to be an oxymoron... hence based on that contradictory, is what is being said." I'm really sorry but your comments really make no sense at all. | |||
"Wut?
Six weeks on my stance is still the same
Well you are entitled for your stance to remain the same, if that is your standards/values that is fine but ours differ that is why everyone here is unique and should be treated in an individual way.
Oh, I'm literally dying to know exactly what standards/values you've taken from my comment? I'm also curious if you'd expect me to be 'generous' in regards to what I'd potentially bring to the table?
The fact that you said "Wut?" implies that you disagree with our standpoint. That in itself indicates that our standards/values are clearly different to yours. It is all very clear that is why the discussion is taking place on this forum.
Let us put it out there that our standards for a female are akin to a male, we test people in order to determine if they are right for us or not.
Consider this, let me ask the question:
If you truly believe that all parties are equal have you ever attended an event or party and insisted that you pay the same fees as a single male? If so more power to you and I am convinced. If not, is it a case of shouting from the sidelines but doing another thing. "I don't attend parties or events. I do offer to split the cost of a hotel room if that arises, and always take a bottle of wine if suitable to someone's home. Hotel cost because it's only fair, wine because it's a nice gesture and/or I don't want to put anyone to expense if I'm drinking alcohol. | |||
"Too long, didn’t read. I tell you what, though. When I’ve seen ‘mutually beneficial’ on a young single woman’s profile I’ve been assuming it was an attempt at subtly saying they wanted cash for meets. Well this just proves my point that people of your attitude don't give importance to others or the details and like to take the easy route of making absurd irrational assumptions without knowing the person's standard of living. If the facts were present you may find that your comment turns out to be an oxymoron. What other easy routes could you be looking for in order to have your cake and eat it? There is no contradictory juxtaposition of words or phrases in his comment that might indicate an oxymoron, whatever facts might be present. If the facts were present you may find that your comment turns out to be an oxymoron... hence based on that contradictory, is what is being said. I'm really sorry but your comments really make no sense at all. " When the inconvenient truth is stated and it doesn't position itself well with ones current mindset confusion, denial and defensiveness do appear, it's a very common thing to happen. | |||
"Too long, didn’t read. I tell you what, though. When I’ve seen ‘mutually beneficial’ on a young single woman’s profile I’ve been assuming it was an attempt at subtly saying they wanted cash for meets. Well this just proves my point that people of your attitude don't give importance to others or the details and like to take the easy route of making absurd irrational assumptions without knowing the person's standard of living. If the facts were present you may find that your comment turns out to be an oxymoron. What other easy routes could you be looking for in order to have your cake and eat it? There is no contradictory juxtaposition of words or phrases in his comment that might indicate an oxymoron, whatever facts might be present. If the facts were present you may find that your comment turns out to be an oxymoron... hence based on that contradictory, is what is being said. I'm really sorry but your comments really make no sense at all. When the inconvenient truth is stated and it doesn't position itself well with ones current mindset confusion, denial and defensiveness do appear, it's a very common thing to happen. " And you certainly do come across as both confused and defensive/aggressive. | |||
"Too long, didn’t read. I tell you what, though. When I’ve seen ‘mutually beneficial’ on a young single woman’s profile I’ve been assuming it was an attempt at subtly saying they wanted cash for meets. Well this just proves my point that people of your attitude don't give importance to others or the details and like to take the easy route of making absurd irrational assumptions without knowing the person's standard of living. If the facts were present you may find that your comment turns out to be an oxymoron. What other easy routes could you be looking for in order to have your cake and eat it? There is no contradictory juxtaposition of words or phrases in his comment that might indicate an oxymoron, whatever facts might be present. If the facts were present you may find that your comment turns out to be an oxymoron... hence based on that contradictory, is what is being said. I'm really sorry but your comments really make no sense at all. When the inconvenient truth is stated and it doesn't position itself well with ones current mindset confusion, denial and defensiveness do appear, it's a very common thing to happen. And you certainly do come across as both confused and defensive/aggressive. " On what basis did you arrive at that determination? Please elaborate as we have already asked you to do so previously without result. It seems like flying statements are your forte but the in-depth details are your weakness. | |||
