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Cliquey clubbing
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Some clubs genuinely are, but it's usually variable night by night; just depends who is in.
Sometimes the place is genuinely about 90% people sitting in their own groups and probably unintentionally closing themselves off to any external approaches.
Other times however I suspect that it's simply about individuals lack of confidence in approaching. We aren't particularly good at approaching ourselves, but we don't lay the blame for that on others. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We’ve never felt that way. Obviously people know each other or have prearranged meets so it may seem that way but if you make a bit of effort and talk to people we find most are very friendly. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We travelled quite a log way to a club for a night that was supposed to be heavy with single guys only to find it was mostly couples that all seemed to be regulars that knew each other.
We attend several clubs but this was a first for us. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I went one night where there was a group of women who made it clear that they should get first option on the men there.
I felt if I had made the mistake of talking to one of the men I would regret it.... So I just left. |
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By *oxy jWoman
over a year ago
taunton somerset |
its normally the clubs that have the same people week in week out .. it becomes their club ..like someone already said it depends what nights and its not all clubs alot of owner dont allow the click to grow but those clubs that do generally are not a good night out ... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It's kind of what stopped me going to clubs close to me unless I know someone first. I worry that as a single male, I wouldn't be able to be part of a conversation within a set group because they would think I'm only speaking to them in the hope we fuck later on. |
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By *humper.Man
over a year ago
northumberland/scotland |
"It's kind of what stopped me going to clubs close to me unless I know someone first. I worry that as a single male, I wouldn't be able to be part of a conversation within a set group because they would think I'm only speaking to them in the hope we fuck later on."
Which would be.... true? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It's kind of what stopped me going to clubs close to me unless I know someone first. I worry that as a single male, I wouldn't be able to be part of a conversation within a set group because they would think I'm only speaking to them in the hope we fuck later on.
Which would be.... true? "
In a way, yes. But I don't want them thinking that's at the forefront of my mind as the reason to chat to them. Perhaps I have the perception of women and couples who attend clubs wrong and they can correct me though |
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"I went one night where there was a group of women who made it clear that they should get first option on the men there.
I felt if I had made the mistake of talking to one of the men I would regret it.... So I just left."
If it ever happens again take the guy to a room or take him home those women don't own the men that frequent clubs |
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I’m part of a large group of women from the North of England who regularly go to parties together. We’ll often sit together in a group. We tend to go to the same kind of events and so have got to know a lot of the regulars. I wonder if we’re perceived as cliquey?
In reality we’re just a big group of friends, but it could look intimidating to those who don’t know us.
I once visited my local club on a Saturday night, for the normal couples and single ladies night (I normally only go to party events) I found that to be a bit cliquey. I felt like everyone knew each other apart from me and I got looked up and down a couple of times. Haven’t been back. |
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"Why do some people say clubs are cliquey? What happened to make them feel excluded or not welcome? (No need to name/shame)"
My first ever club visit, we weren't introduced to anyone. So I made the effort to talk to as many people as possible who were willing to talk. I had one couple where the woman really acted uncomfortable. Afew of men in couples spoked to me in a creepy way. The single men litterly walked around like the wanking dead or stared at me for ages like a zombie so I definitely didn't want to approach them. The lady I tried to make a conversation with but she was too intoxicated, got kicked out of the club for poor behaviour. The couples seem to go off with young fit black men. So I just ended up dancing on my own on the dance floor and left early with my friend as most couples were having sex or threesomes with black men. To me it was pretty awful night. I'm hoping to have a better experience next time. If not, I'm giving up on clubs as well as fab. |
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"It's kind of what stopped me going to clubs close to me unless I know someone first. I worry that as a single male, I wouldn't be able to be part of a conversation within a set group because they would think I'm only speaking to them in the hope we fuck later on.
Which would be.... true?
In a way, yes. But I don't want them thinking that's at the forefront of my mind as the reason to chat to them. Perhaps I have the perception of women and couples who attend clubs wrong and they can correct me though "
Unfortunately every single male I spoke to wanted me to play with them. I only really spoke to them to be polite and friendly. The only guy I was physically attracted to was with one woman who he kept having sex with. So I found the whole club very cliquey. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It's kind of what stopped me going to clubs close to me unless I know someone first. I worry that as a single male, I wouldn't be able to be part of a conversation within a set group because they would think I'm only speaking to them in the hope we fuck later on.
Which would be.... true?
In a way, yes. But I don't want them thinking that's at the forefront of my mind as the reason to chat to them. Perhaps I have the perception of women and couples who attend clubs wrong and they can correct me though
Unfortunately every single male I spoke to wanted me to play with them. I only really spoke to them to be polite and friendly. The only guy I was physically attracted to was with one woman who he kept having sex with. So I found the whole club very cliquey."
Polite and friendly is great, it's people potentially being stand-offish that may put me off |
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"It's kind of what stopped me going to clubs close to me unless I know someone first. I worry that as a single male, I wouldn't be able to be part of a conversation within a set group because they would think I'm only speaking to them in the hope we fuck later on.
Which would be.... true?
In a way, yes. But I don't want them thinking that's at the forefront of my mind as the reason to chat to them. Perhaps I have the perception of women and couples who attend clubs wrong and they can correct me though
Unfortunately every single male I spoke to wanted me to play with them. I only really spoke to them to be polite and friendly. The only guy I was physically attracted to was with one woman who he kept having sex with. So I found the whole club very cliquey.
Polite and friendly is great, it's people potentially being stand-offish that may put me off"
One woman I chatted to was with me. But I need to remember next time not to approach guys unless I'm interested having sex with them as they all got the wrong idea |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It's kind of what stopped me going to clubs close to me unless I know someone first. I worry that as a single male, I wouldn't be able to be part of a conversation within a set group because they would think I'm only speaking to them in the hope we fuck later on.
Which would be.... true?
In a way, yes. But I don't want them thinking that's at the forefront of my mind as the reason to chat to them. Perhaps I have the perception of women and couples who attend clubs wrong and they can correct me though
Unfortunately every single male I spoke to wanted me to play with them. I only really spoke to them to be polite and friendly. The only guy I was physically attracted to was with one woman who he kept having sex with. So I found the whole club very cliquey.
Polite and friendly is great, it's people potentially being stand-offish that may put me off
One woman I chatted to was with me. But I need to remember next time not to approach guys unless I'm interested having sex with them as they all got the wrong idea "
I like to watch so I joined the Wanking Train of men at one club.
They were either very respectful or I'm a seriously ugly fucker because none of them tried it on with me. 
They let me go to the front of the viewing area because I'm shorter than them. |
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By *eaSlutsCouple
over a year ago
Glasgow |
We've seen people discussing our local club and have said they felt it was very cliquey.
We've only been along a few times but we've never felt that at all. Everyone we have approached has always been willing to chat away and if not, then that's their choice and we whole heartedly respect it.
Yes, there are definitely groups of those who evidently know each other and spend time together but I wouldn't say that's cliquey. If that's what's driving the perception, surely that means any social environment could be considered in that way?
In addition, it could be that if lots of groups of people don't want to talk to an individual, the person then choses not to reflect on why that may be the case. Instead they come to the conclusion that its the club and its patrons who are to blame, not their approach? Its always easier to blame others than take a critical view of yourself.
C x |
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"It's kind of what stopped me going to clubs close to me unless I know someone first. I worry that as a single male, I wouldn't be able to be part of a conversation within a set group because they would think I'm only speaking to them in the hope we fuck later on.
Which would be.... true?
In a way, yes. But I don't want them thinking that's at the forefront of my mind as the reason to chat to them. Perhaps I have the perception of women and couples who attend clubs wrong and they can correct me though
Unfortunately every single male I spoke to wanted me to play with them. I only really spoke to them to be polite and friendly. The only guy I was physically attracted to was with one woman who he kept having sex with. So I found the whole club very cliquey.
Polite and friendly is great, it's people potentially being stand-offish that may put me off
One woman I chatted to was with me. But I need to remember next time not to approach guys unless I'm interested having sex with them as they all got the wrong idea
I like to watch so I joined the Wanking Train of men at one club.
They were either very respectful or I'm a seriously ugly fucker because none of them tried it on with me.
They let me go to the front of the viewing area because I'm shorter than them. "
Maybe you give off that vibe they just don't want to upset you. Lucky you. I think I prefer that vibe to they come up to me talking to me like I'm some submissive whore! Lol |
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It's interesting that from the responses, in general, those that go as singles both male/female tend to think that clubs are cliquey but those that go as couples generally don't experience that.
We, as a couple, don't feel it's cliquey either. We go to a club and if we meet others or talk/play that's fine, if not, we just enjoy our night out anyway. Maybe because people or groups who already know each other all gravitate then that's where others might feel left out.
As we like being watched the wanking dead don't bother us. I suppose as a single female they might have a different perspective on that; I guess the dynamic is different.
We do find because there are different people out on every club night (we tend to go to 3 or 4 different clubs) that no two nights are ever the same.
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By *inaTitzTV/TS
over a year ago
Titz Towers, North Notts |
Any social setting can be seen as cliquey, as the people that go often will know each other and will be happily interacting.
Any stranger will have to prove that they're not likely to be a pain in the arse before they get to join in with any socialising.
A natural reluctance to embrace a total stranger after just saying hello can probably come across as cliquey to those on the outside.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It's kind of what stopped me going to clubs close to me unless I know someone first. I worry that as a single male, I wouldn't be able to be part of a conversation within a set group because they would think I'm only speaking to them in the hope we fuck later on.
Which would be.... true?
In a way, yes. But I don't want them thinking that's at the forefront of my mind as the reason to chat to them. Perhaps I have the perception of women and couples who attend clubs wrong and they can correct me though
Unfortunately every single male I spoke to wanted me to play with them. I only really spoke to them to be polite and friendly. The only guy I was physically attracted to was with one woman who he kept having sex with. So I found the whole club very cliquey.
Polite and friendly is great, it's people potentially being stand-offish that may put me off
One woman I chatted to was with me. But I need to remember next time not to approach guys unless I'm interested having sex with them as they all got the wrong idea
I like to watch so I joined the Wanking Train of men at one club.
They were either very respectful or I'm a seriously ugly fucker because none of them tried it on with me.
They let me go to the front of the viewing area because I'm shorter than them.
Maybe you give off that vibe they just don't want to upset you. Lucky you. I think I prefer that vibe to they come up to me talking to me like I'm some submissive whore! Lol"
You probably come across as friendly. That's good. 
I probably give the fuck off vibe.  |
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By *ikeC81Man
over a year ago
harrow |
"It's kind of what stopped me going to clubs close to me unless I know someone first. I worry that as a single male, I wouldn't be able to be part of a conversation within a set group because they would think I'm only speaking to them in the hope we fuck later on.
Which would be.... true?
In a way, yes. But I don't want them thinking that's at the forefront of my mind as the reason to chat to them. Perhaps I have the perception of women and couples who attend clubs wrong and they can correct me though
Unfortunately every single male I spoke to wanted me to play with them. I only really spoke to them to be polite and friendly. The only guy I was physically attracted to was with one woman who he kept having sex with. So I found the whole club very cliquey."
We I was speaking with a lass at the weekend getting on well, I asked her did she want to go for a wander and she said no.
Fine. Took it in on the chin. Though I didn’t ask her to play but maybe because I asked to wander and not play she said no |
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If you went into a pub would you talk to the people you know or random strangers, people will always speak to the ones they already know first, yes even in a swingers club  , we are well know for inviting new people in to speak to us but we always talk to people we know first |
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