FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Is our profile a bit harsh??!!
Is our profile a bit harsh??!!
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think it’s fine - end of the day it’s your boundaries so it’s good to be clear and make it plain that they’re non negotiable. Sadly lots of guys won’t even read it anyway! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Not that it's aimed at me but I think it's fine. You should see my epic!
Sadly as just been said most don't read it before messaging.
Maybe need a little tick box to confirm it is read before a message can be sent  |
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"We may have been venting a bit when we wrote it. 
Is this off putting do you think? "
It's probably most off putting to the genuine peeps. The fancy a fuck and fantasists won't get past the pictures lol |
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By *s1981 OP Couple
over a year ago
halifax |
"We may have been venting a bit when we wrote it.
Is this off putting do you think?
Directness in profile is fine, keeps riff raff out, lack of veris on display is the off-putting bit."
Sorted although we haven't had any for a few years. Struggling to find anyone who may want to meet and verify us  |
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By *s1981 OP Couple
over a year ago
halifax |
"I think it’s fine - end of the day it’s your boundaries so it’s good to be clear and make it plain that they’re non negotiable. Sadly lots of guys won’t even read it anyway!"
Very true. |
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"We may have been venting a bit when we wrote it.
Is this off putting do you think? "
Yes, puts me off immediately - all far too negative and abrasive.
Other men are less selective - I imagine they are the ones you actually wish to deter. It won’t stop them, they won’t even read it - you will still get all those unwanted messages. |
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By *ack688Man
over a year ago
abruzzo Italy (and UK) |
It’s certainly direct but focuses largely on the negatives, you won’t do this, you don’t want that, guys shouldn’t be xyz etc. there’s nothing positive in it, nothing about what you bring to a meet, it’s written seemingly from the perspective of ‘you’re going to want to meet her, so we don’t need to sell ourselves at all, so here are the hoops you need to jump through’. But it’s very much the case that the ratios here mean that regardless of that, plenty of people will still contact you. So if it works for you and you’re hearing from enough of the sort of people you want to hear from then it’s not a problem. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We may have been venting a bit when we wrote it.
Is this off putting do you think? "
I think it’s pretty fair to be honest.
Good point about the friend request with the first message as I find that a bit odd / rude. Let’s at least exchange some common ground first rather than launching straight into a friend / perv on friends only photos. |
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"We may have been venting a bit when we wrote it.
Is this off putting do you think?
I think it’s pretty fair to be honest.
Good point about the friend request with the first message as I find that a bit odd / rude. Let’s at least exchange some common ground first rather than launching straight into a friend / perv on friends only photos. "
I keep the pervy ones for special someone  |
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I don’t find anything wrong with the content of your profile, you’re establishing what sorts of things will be unacceptable for you which is fine.
What you could potentially change though is to say a bit more about yourselves and what you are looking for first, before going into what you don’t want.
Overall though, it’s certainly not harsh in the slightes! |
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By *s1981 OP Couple
over a year ago
halifax |
We've had no success with our old profile or this one. Don't think it's down to the profile, more down the fact that we can't accom anymore. Single guys that Mrs L likes the look of tend to ghost us as soon as we bring it up. We can only imagine its because of the awkwardness of bring a women home and their wife/gf being there too
May just give up looking, the last time we played regularly was 6/7 years ago before having kids so much easier. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It's fine.
Anyway single males don't read profiles. And if they do they decide they're special enough that your boundaries don't apply lol"
Please don’t tar us all with the same brush |
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It is blunt, informative and to the point. It should put off nicely those you are trying to put off; IF they bother to read it. It is very long but presumably accurately reflects your joint personalities and the impression you wish to make.
However, having said that, it is in reality an overlong list of your demands. It gives the impression of your "entitlement" - "jump through these hoops if you want us to even consider you".
It smacks a bit of arrogance and some you would actually like to meet will be put off because they will not want to meet with such an apparently "overbearing, self opiniated couple".
But it takes all sorts to make a world and the Mrs appears, in the absence of a face pic, very attractive ...  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I responded to your other post you've deleted.
I posted this .........
It could be worded much better, it comes across to me quite aggressive, not approachable.
Many here don't want to read through long profiles and will either skip to the next or message anyway.
You can word it to express the same but more appealing and a little shorter. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've seen worse.
I don't meet couples but if I did then yes honestly it would put me off.
I fully support your right to have preferences but I guess the question is...
Does sounding a little blunt and transactional put off the vast majority of that type that ignore preferences and are pushy? I'd think not tbh.
Does sounding a little blunt and transactional put off the type you are looking for who are probably the type to have other possibilities? I'd think yes.
Locking up your filters and approaching men you find suitable while having a profile you are more comfortable with ( if you checking of its arsey you probably aren't fully happy with it) might be a better option |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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There is nothing wrong in being prescriptive but it would help if your profile was warmer and more welcoming.
We all say things differently and have different requirements but it is also important to make yourselves more appealing.
I hope my remarks don’t offend you. Tc. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It's fine.
Anyway single males don't read profiles. And if they do they decide they're special enough that your boundaries don't apply lol
Please don’t tar us all with the same brush"
Agreed. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You didn't hit the caps lock which is always good. Direct and to the point. Perfect. Only critique would be that you do have lots of very similar photos of those cracking boobies. Pads out your gallery a bit. |
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We would presume that the wife is the star of your show and not even get as far as reading any text. We’re both visual animals and go to the photo section first. If we see a balanced selection of photo of both of you then we don’t skip x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We would presume that the wife is the star of your show and not even get as far as reading any text. We’re both visual animals and go to the photo section first. If we see a balanced selection of photo of both of you then we don’t skip x"
This is why it's important to read a profile.
It is evident there why the pictures are focused on Mrs. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If i was a betting man i'd say the female is no longer around or is & isnt into swinging anymore & this is a 'look at my profile' post.
No meet veri for 7 years...swinging couples wont take that seriously |
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The update is better I think, and leaves you able to discuss do’s and don’ts if and when you exchange messages With prospective meets.
I hope it has the effect you wish and you get better responses from it… I certainly would be interested |
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Pretty similar to a lot of profiles really. Probs reads more towards males that you’ll play alone. Naturally will attract those guys.
Agreed, the verifications or lack of a current one would put me off more. Hope you find what your looking for! Created a conversation at least! Enjoy |
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"We've had no success with our old profile or this one. Don't think it's down to the profile, more down the fact that we can't accom anymore. Single guys that Mrs L likes the look of tend to ghost us as soon as we bring it up. We can only imagine its because of the awkwardness of bring a women home and their wife/gf being there too
May just give up looking, the last time we played regularly was 6/7 years ago before having kids so much easier. "
The re-write is much better. If I was in your age range I'd invite you down for the weekend.  |
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