FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Single guys in clubs

Single guys in clubs

By *iss pleasuring OP Woman over a year ago

Somewhere near

Not sure what pr where this is going

Single guys really do seem to have a difficult time in clubs

It's as if they can't do right for wrong

Couples will say they don't want to see single guys hanging around watching or been the wanking zombies. Or couples /single ladies don't like been approached by S.M. to try start a conversion.

I totally get there are some single men who try and over step boundaries I've had it happen to me and ill just politely ask them to back up please .

Sometimes though I'll ask them to join in, if a particular sm takes my liking

There's different strokes for different folks and it must be really difficult for those single guys to mingle

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By *amie95Man over a year ago

Leeds

I’ve been a bit cautious to attend a club for this reason. I don’t want to seem to be that guy just there and in the way when not wanted.

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By *itty9899Man over a year ago

Craggy Island

Especially the single guy at the back from a respectable distance standing behind all the wanking zombies.

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By *iss pleasuring OP Woman over a year ago

Somewhere near

Unless your a regular and get to really mingle with regulars then it must be difficult for quite a few of ya

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By *ooki82Man over a year ago

Plymouth

Can't even get in to any parties round here being an SM

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Not been a club but getting harder these days than when I started

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Not sure what pr where this is going

Single guys really do seem to have a difficult time in clubs

It's as if they can't do right for wrong

Couples will say they don't want to see single guys hanging around watching or been the wanking zombies. Or couples /single ladies don't like been approached by S.M. to try start a conversion.

I totally get there are some single men who try and over step boundaries I've had it happen to me and ill just politely ask them to back up please .

Sometimes though I'll ask them to join in, if a particular sm takes my liking

There's different strokes for different folks and it must be really difficult for those single guys to mingle

This 100% resonates with me.

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By *anddXXXCouple over a year ago

London

"Not sure what pr where this is going

Single guys really do seem to have a difficult time in clubs

It's as if they can't do right for wrong

Couples will say they don't want to see single guys hanging around watching or been the wanking zombies. Or couples /single ladies don't like been approached by S.M. to try start a conversion.

I totally get there are some single men who try and over step boundaries I've had it happen to me and ill just politely ask them to back up please .

Sometimes though I'll ask them to join in, if a particular sm takes my liking

There's different strokes for different folks and it must be really difficult for those single guys to mingle

You just summed up life.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Not been a club but getting harder these days than when I started "

I started off on this road many years ago using the site ‘localswingers’ on my 386 packard bell deaktop PC. Yep it was that long ago . I put up a profile and I remember for sure it was so much easier to get meets back in the day. I never had the need to visit clubs as the amount of meets being generated from the site were more than enough.

For sure it seems a lot more difficult now due to a multitude of reasons.

But necessity is the mother of invention and I have found myself evolving and visit clubs a lot more now and using apps (such as FAB) a lot less.

Not really sure what my point is but I guess one could say - where there is a will you will find a way !!!

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By *apxxxWoman over a year ago

North Shropshire not Wales!!!ffs & Manchester

I love single guys...most are very respectful..its couples that get on my tits

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By *spotpleasurerMan over a year ago

Norwich

Going to clubs as a single guy is an unpredictable experience. There are occasions when I've had a brilliant time and others when I've struggled to play. The successes tend to be of two kinds:

1. Greedy girls who are happy to take on all comers. The difficulty lies in pushing your way through the queue.

2. Ladies who are selective about who they play with. I chat socially first to see if there's a connection.

Ultimately, it's the club atmosphere when you visit that matters. The same club can have a very different vibe the next day.

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By *anddXXXCouple over a year ago

London

What everyone is describing is life.

Clubs arent that much different from nightclubs. Where the majority of males will be looking to "pull" for want of a better term. But the majority won't, for reasons such as looks and personality amongst others. The prospective "lucky" ladies have a right to have a choice and since ladies are the gatekeepers their choice is always tenfold that of the guys.

There is no more guarantee of playing at a sex club than in normal life outside of one, all depends on preferences, interaction etc and not on just rocking up.

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By *iss pleasuring OP Woman over a year ago

Somewhere near

"Going to clubs as a single guy is an unpredictable experience. There are occasions when I've had a brilliant time and others when I've struggled to play. The successes tend to be of two kinds:

1. Greedy girls who are happy to take on all comers. The difficulty lies in pushing your way through the queue.

2. Ladies who are selective about who they play with. I chat socially first to see if there's a connection.

Ultimately, it's the club atmosphere when you visit that matters. The same club can have a very different vibe the next day."

Totally agree about clubs and different vibes . A club I visit regularly on a monthly Friday night is completely different again any other night. So i stick with their monthly Friday event nights

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By *iss pleasuring OP Woman over a year ago

Somewhere near

"What everyone is describing is life.

There is no more guarantee of playing at a sex club than in normal life outside of one, all depends on preferences, interaction etc and not on just rocking up."

Totally get that. My post refes specific to single guys at swing clubs, rather than night clubs where everyone is fully dressed and not poking a cock in your face so it's different altogether

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"What everyone is describing is life.

There is no more guarantee of playing at a sex club than in normal life outside of one, all depends on preferences, interaction etc and not on just rocking up."

I agree with you!

Just treat it like a night out if something happens then it’s a bonus.

If the club is local/in your city and you can get there regularly then do so, it will definitely help.

When I used to go the guys that never got far were the ones sat looking miserable/unapproachable or following people around not giving space and reading body language.

Just enjoy your night and smile it goes a long way

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By *aptainhornpipeMan over a year ago

manchester

I’d never go to a club on my own, it’s just to difficult as a single guy.

It would be like going to a lap dancing club all that nakedness and sexy stuff going on but I’m not allowed to touch

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By *oobyHotwifeWoman over a year ago

Thurrock

I agree

I personally wouldn't want to go to a club night where single guys weren't allowed or their attendance was limited

Yes I've had the odd single guy be inappropriate but I've also had single females do the same and on the only two occasions I've had to raise my voice at someone was the male half of a couple & both times the wives defended their husbands actions

One was a guy randomly grabbing my boob as I walked past him, when I pushed his hand away and asked WTF he thought he was doing his wife shouted from across the room 'don't mind him, he's not one of those creepy single guys, he's with me & boobs are his thing, he's allowed to touch them' ... just because you give him permission doesn't mean the person the boobs belong to does

& the other occasion was a guy repeatedly trying to insert his toesinside me in a Hottub, I pushed his foot away twice & mouthed no, on the third approach I actually said something, only to be called frigid by his wife & told if I didn't want to be touched I shouldn't be in a Hottub in a swingers club

So I'd obviously choose single guys over couples

but as you say different strokes....

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By *iss pleasuring OP Woman over a year ago

Somewhere near

"I agree

I personally wouldn't want to go to a club night where single guys weren't allowed or their attendance was limited

So I'd obviously choose single guys over couples

but as you say different strokes...."

Same choice here . Prefer single guys than a couple.

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By *r. JoystickMan over a year ago

London

"I agree

I personally wouldn't want to go to a club night where single guys weren't allowed or their attendance was limited

So I'd obviously choose single guys over couples

but as you say different strokes...."

The comment from that guys wife is unbelievable. How on Earth can they think that entitles their partner to do that.

Second example just as bad if not worse. Honestly those are some ugly humans.

You simply have to give other people respect...

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By *iss pleasuring OP Woman over a year ago

Somewhere near

"I’d never go to a club on my own, it’s just to difficult as a single guy.

It would be like going to a lap dancing club all that nakedness and sexy stuff going on but I’m not allowed to touch "

Kinda my point.

And reading all these posts I know see a common denominator, I'll keep it to myself .

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By *iverpool 2Couple over a year ago

Liverpool

Before I met Mrs L2 I used to go to clubs as a a single guy, used to go to a few greedy girl events, they were dreadful, 100% effort for very little reward, I’m seeing a more positive attitude to single guys if I’m honest than a few years ago

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By *oober698Man over a year ago

Lincoln

This is exactly it. I'm single (widowed) and into the scene, but without a partner in crime to share the occasion its extremely difficult. Treatment on fab also is negative being single and most just post abuse back or do not answer despite politeness. It's a struggle and as yet despite some encouragement from a handful of folk it's disheartening.

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By *ooki82Man over a year ago

Plymouth

The only party I know of in Plymouth you have to invited to as a single male. Verified twice with green tick and flag on here.

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By *oeofsussexMan over a year ago

Eastbourne

"I agree

I personally wouldn't want to go to a club night where single guys weren't allowed or their attendance was limited

So I'd obviously choose single guys over couples

but as you say different strokes...."

Really shocking to read this! Appalling behaviour! Glad you stood your ground!

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By *oeofsussexMan over a year ago

Eastbourne

Unusual and rather refreshing to hear some sympathy for single guys from a lady so thanks OP! Yes, it’s not easy. Events invariably use the single male as the cash cow to fund everyone else‘s fun. Most women arrive with a guy and many couples are regular so know each other socially already. That rather makes us single blokes spare parts. Add to that that women and couples are generally suspicious of single male syndrome anyway and one can quickly understand why us guys aren’t all rushing like erection-wielding loons to the next event!

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By *orkswatcherMan over a year ago

Wakefield

I've been to a club twice it was greedy girl night. I did find it hard, approaching strangers and making small talk is not my thing.

The 2nd time I left and thought i'm not sure clubs is for me. It felt right hard to engage with couples as a single guy. There was no single females at both nights.

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By *apperleymanMan over a year ago

Nottingham

I think previous posters have raised some very valid points.

1. Without single males most clubs would have to put up their prices for couples & single fems - esp in current financial climate.

2. My advice to single males in clubs is Talk, make eye contact, be friendly & smile, a lot just don’t do the simple things and wonder why no one invites them to chat/ play.

I have seen some single males just crowd couples in dark rooms/ cinemas etc putting the couples off..

Just don’t be a nob.. Simple’s

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By *partharmonyCouple over a year ago

Ruislip

My first experience of this scene was of going to clubs by myself. I took the attitude that I was going to be chatty and friendly and not pushy.

I saw a couple alone in a jacuzzi and I very politely said it was my first time and I don't know anybody. I asked if they would mind if joined them and had a chat and said if they would prefer to be left on their own I would be perfectly OK with that and wouldn't get in. They very kindly invited me in and we had a great chat for most of the rest of the evening. We talked about how I had ended up there and about everyday stuff.

Some time later another couple got in and we all just nattered away. This second couple told me about Fab and advised me to join. Both couples said they would verify me when I had an account set up.

A few more people came and went during the evening. One single guy sat there not saying anything to anybody. When I got out, a lady who I hadn't even noticed in there had obviously taken a liking to me and asked me if I'd like to go into a private room with her, which I did.

I met both couples on future visits, having sex with the lady of one of them a couple of times.

For me it was all very easy because I think I just picked on the right attitude to go with. I had those two verifications very quickly, without even realising how difficult some guys find it. I got lucky every time I went on my own and met some really nice people. Luke

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By *oeofsussexMan over a year ago

Eastbourne

Yep, attitudes can be odd. During a greedy girls night I went to years ago I got chatting to a really sexy 30-something blonde. We had a very nice chat and later she came up near me and watched some of the action. I was aware her hubby was nearby so was cautious about making a move. Shortly she darted across the room and yanked a man by the wrist out of the door and into the next door bedroom followed by her hubby. It was a small room and they closed the door so watching her was not an option! As soon as her moans started her hubby came out and closed the door. I congratulated him on having such an amazingly sexy wife and how most of us would give anything to play with her. Instead of taking the compliment and saying something like ‘Yeah, she’s amazing isn’t she, I am lucky!’, he literally rounded on me angrily and shouted, ‘You sure yer eyes are alright! You’re definitely not talking about the same woman’! To which, astonished, I thought, ‘Bloody hell, with a hubby like you, no wonder she wants to fuck other blokes!’ What a bastard!

So, yep, I’m cautious about any conversation in clubs these days!

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By *edplusoneCouple over a year ago

West Midlands

Speaking for ourselves we are not into single guys but do not mind them being around -

of course if they’re respectful. But can’t say I feel sorry for them, after all they do not have the trials and tribulations that can come with a relationship, so we don’t feel guilty that they are not getting the benefits

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By *un_couple8178Couple over a year ago

South Yorkshire

We tend to go to clubs on couples nights, chams is our favourite and we can only usually get there on a Saturday.

We did however go to the beach party last week where single guys attend and we had a great day/night.

We did go in the round room which for anyone who hasn’t been to chams is a room with a big bed in the middle and some seating round the edge, the round bed was pretty full so we just sat on the outside watching,

We did get approached by a single guys and he was lovely had a great chat and it was me who I then instigated play. It was the first time I had done this. A couple of guys hovered round but hubby just waved them away and it was all good.

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By *ickDastardlyMan over a year ago

North East

I tend to find clubs welcoming, on the majority.

I would never go in cold turkey, pick a night that suits you, look at who is attending and give them a message, putting out the feelers before you arrive isn't a bad thing.

I find some people in clubs to be quite, yeah and I agree its more difficult for single men.

But go, with the aim to socialise and meet new people and no expectations of sex and honestly, its fine!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Ourselves and the owners of Amigos in Leicester have started monthly newbie days to let anyone(the majority are single guys) experience club lifestyle for a discounted fee so that they can overcome their nerves and get verified if they do wish. We held the first one last night and had 30 people who had never attended a club before come to enjoy the experience. I’ve, personally been on here 10 years, 7 as a single and some of us do actually try to help. Anyone local to Leicester keep an eye out for future events such as this

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I love single guys...most are very respectful..its couples that get on my tits

I find the same!

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By *oldyoudown41Man over a year ago

caledonian

"I love single guys...most are very respectful..its couples that get on my tits

I find the same! "

I’ll be keeping my eyes out for you

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I really feel for introverted or shy single men. I’m introverted and shy but I’m also female so I can rely on others approaching and making the effort to chat. I can’t imagine what the experience is like if you aren’t an outgoing male.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I love single guys...most are very respectful..its couples that get on my tits

I find the same!

I’ll be keeping my eyes out for you "

Haha I don’t attend London clubs unfortunately

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By *amsiMan over a year ago

Hanworth

I have been to a few clubs in my time, it is hard for a single guy but most bring it on themselves, i find being respectful and polite helps, i have been to Kestrels on many an occasion just to chat and watch a couple walk past then watch the train of single guys follow (cock in hand), i am happy chatting without expectation (maybe a bit of hope lol) if the lady or couple invite me to play then great if not thats still ok. Happy Fabbing xx

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Single guys get a hard time on here anyway

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By *ethnmelvCouple over a year ago

Cardiff

Interesting points raised by people. We like to go to Clubs becausethey create an environment where people can get naughty. We choose to go to nightclub/dressed Clubs as we enjoy making an effort and potentially unwrapping someone later. We enjoy the company of couples, singl guys and single ladies, and we’d like to try the company of several guys. So for us a mixed night appeals more than just a couples night. We have never had an issue with single guys, we’ve always felt safe and respected.

So what works for us? We like chatting to people beforehand, only for a short while and not something vanilla & dull. We may not play immediately, but when we are ready, the ones we’ve chatted to are the ones we will potentially play with.

We both get plenty of sex at home, this is about stretching our imaginations & experiences. A quick fuck is not why we go to Clubs

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By *iss DevilWoman over a year ago

Bedford

I do like to play with single guys, but I hate feeling like I'm just a sex object. My brain needs to be stimulated first, before my other bits can be. And lurking, staring at me or point blank just following me with your cock out is not going to make me want to play, it would make me want to run away and hide.

Also, if I told you I am not interested, please take it as a final answer.

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By *amsiMan over a year ago

Hanworth

"Interesting points raised by people. We like to go to Clubs becausethey create an environment where people can get naughty. We choose to go to nightclub/dressed Clubs as we enjoy making an effort and potentially unwrapping someone later. We enjoy the company of couples, singl guys and single ladies, and we’d like to try the company of several guys. So for us a mixed night appeals more than just a couples night. We have never had an issue with single guys, we’ve always felt safe and respected.

We both get plenty of sex at home, this is about stretching our imaginations & experiences. A quick fuck is not why we go to Clubs

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I have been to a few clubs in my time, it is hard for a single guy but most bring it on themselves, i find being respectful and polite helps, i have been to Kestrels on many an occasion just to chat and watch a couple walk past then watch the train of single guys follow (cock in hand), i am happy chatting without expectation (maybe a bit of hope lol) if the lady or couple invite me to play then great if not thats still ok. Happy Fabbing xx"

This is all well and good but I think the problem some guys have is when you receive a ‘rude’ knock back. So you do all the correct things but the person(s) you approach tell you in a non polite/ rude manner (it happens) they are not interested. I tried to speak to a lady once and she just 100% blanked me without any acknowledgement like I wasn’t there. Do you just keep getting up and dusting yourself off and going again ? Or do you start to question yourself ?

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By *apperleymanMan over a year ago

Nottingham

Well that’s a million dollar question.. my take is that if you’re polite and they’re not then you’ve probably dodged a bullet there anyway..

I go with zero expectations, always try and be friendly & respectful. I’m no super model with a 12” monster cock so I kind of have to use the tools I’ve got so to speak.

Done ok on clubs so far .

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By *oldyoudown41Man over a year ago

caledonian

"I love single guys...most are very respectful..its couples that get on my tits

I find the same!

I’ll be keeping my eyes out for you

Haha I don’t attend London clubs unfortunately "

I attend other clubs outside of London

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By *sBlueWoman over a year ago

Up North

I like single guys at clubs especially respectful ones

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By *orkswatcherMan over a year ago

Wakefield

"I really feel for introverted or shy single men. I’m introverted and shy but I’m also female so I can rely on others approaching and making the effort to chat. I can’t imagine what the experience is like if you aren’t an outgoing male."

It's not great, hard enough getting the courage to attend in the first place

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By *iss DevilWoman over a year ago

Bedford

"I've been to a club twice it was greedy girl night. I did find it hard, approaching strangers and making small talk is not my thing.

The 2nd time I left and thought i'm not sure clubs is for me. It felt right hard to engage with couples as a single guy. There was no single females at both nights. "

I find it a bit strange, no single females on a greedy girls night. But I guess it happens.

How did you expect to get any action in a club if smalltalk is not your thing?

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By *ee-dthewayMan over a year ago

Garforth , Leeds

Definitely agree with this. Blokes with no respect acting like weirdo’s spoil it for us genuine single guys as we seam to all get classed the same.

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By *acey_RedWoman over a year ago

Liverpool

They can do right and many single men do great in clubs. Your post reads as though the only options are approaching or hanging around like zombies/wanking.

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By *den-Valley-coupleCouple over a year ago

Cumbria

"I love single guys...most are very respectful..its couples that get on my tits

Haha,

Love to get on them Tits.

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By *arkus1812Man over a year ago

Lifes departure lounge NN9 Northamptonshire East not West MidlandsMidlands

I have two main reasons for not going to clubs, One is that I am very much an introvert and secondly that I will not pay the excessive admission fees that most clubs have for single males.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I love going to a club but I'm fortunate to have been as a couple a few of times prior too going on my own so I know a few of the regulars and the staff, I can be a little reserved to start with but always try to engage in conversation with people it can be a little difficult at times if I find myself on my own but I just go and get in the hot tub and just relax for a bit, I would love to go more often but unfortunately the cost factor does limit me a little

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By *aomilatteCouple over a year ago

Midlands

"Not sure what pr where this is going

Single guys really do seem to have a difficult time in clubs

It's as if they can't do right for wrong

Couples will say they don't want to see single guys hanging around watching or been the wanking zombies. Or couples /single ladies don't like been approached by S.M. to try start a conversion.

I totally get there are some single men who try and over step boundaries I've had it happen to me and ill just politely ask them to back up please .

Sometimes though I'll ask them to join in, if a particular sm takes my liking

There's different strokes for different folks and it must be really difficult for those single guys to mingle

It certainly does seem more difficult for single guys in a club, on top of the extra entrance fee. We're always happy to chat to anyone in a club, be that a couple, a single or trans, doesn't mean we're going to play though. Some couples don't want to chat to a guy full stop. We get couples look away or scowl at us too, so we can relate a little! Our advice to guys is say hello and see if people are happy to chat, it may or may not lead to somewhere. Some of us who go to clubs are friendly

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By *agneto.Man over a year ago

Bham

I do find it quite difficult in them to be sure. Doesn't help that they always seem to have a very complicated layout with no really signage so I never know where I'm going.

The best club I ever went to was a fetish club, everyone was so friendly and welcoming there and the layout was simple. Unfortunately it didn't survive COVID.

I'm gonna give it another couple of tries though.

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By *wingin CatMan over a year ago

London

[Removed by poster at 07/09/22 20:56:21]

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By *wingin CatMan over a year ago

London

Without trying to come across as smug, I've had very little problem during the 32 years I've been on the swinging/club scene. I've never felt odd or strange about going as a single male. Then again, I'm the sort of person who will talk to anyone, as long as they're friendly and easy-going (and if you're not, then fine - I know my place), and I'm pleased to say that I'm certainly not one of the "wanking-dead", so to speak. I feel lucky that I was gifted with social skills; you wouldn't believe how shy I was before I started going to clubs!

Over the years, I've made quite a few friends at clubs (some of who I am still in touch with), and always got on well with the owners and people who work there. However, you're always going to get a few weirdos, obnoxious singles AND couples along the way, and cocky b'stards who think they're better than everyone else. Thankfully, they're usually easy to spot and avoid.

Don't forget - social/conversational skills, a smile, and personal hygiene go a hell of a long way!

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By *iss pleasuring OP Woman over a year ago

Somewhere near

"They can do right and many single men do great in clubs. Your post reads as though the only options are approaching or hanging around like zombies/wanking. "

Yeah perhaps it does which was not my intention

I was trying to say basically that single guys do get a hard time from couples and single fems more so than couples and single fems just my opinion

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By *iss pleasuring OP Woman over a year ago

Somewhere near

"They can do right and many single men do great in clubs. Your post reads as though the only options are approaching or hanging around like zombies/wanking.

Yeah perhaps it does which was not my intention

I was trying to say basically that single guys do get a hard time from couples and single fems more so than couples and single fems just my opinion "

A majority a the commentary seem to have understood where I was coming from

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By *entlemanPMan over a year ago

Grantham

I was in Pandoras in Leeds and on my own. Had a wander around and then went and sat in the hot tub chilling. 2 couples came in and we just chatted. I'm nothing special, just normal. They got out and a bit later so did I and had another wander around. I bumped into one of the couples and the male said go get yourself a condom mate. So I did and I played with his wife as he watched. She squirted on my towel lol. Anyway what a nice couple. Went to get a towel from the bar so I could shower and the barmaid said next time I was in to play with her. Shame I've never had chance to go back!

Tbh clubs seem easier than fab in my experience. It's just about being polite and friendly and expecting nothing ???????

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I’ve been to a few clubs and always found it pretty difficult to interact …I’m not a shy guy by any means just think it’s people giving you a chance …I’ve hosted a fair few parties with lots of success

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By *red and Wilma 75Couple over a year ago

Staffordshire

We like the nights with single guys in clubs! Most are friendly up for a chat and give the club a great flow.

We’d even go as far to say for mixing and meeting couples and singles nights where single guys are allowed are the best!

Couples only nights can sometimes be a bit clicky.

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By *eventhheaven2022Couple over a year ago

accrington

We agree single guys have a tough time in clubs, there are always bad apples amongst them which spoil it for the others. We like single guys and find a friendly smile or a polite hello always gets our attention xx

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By *portyndNaughtyMan over a year ago

Nearby Hinckley

I had very little negative experiences with couples when attending clubs.

A polite approach, a smile, a respectful and non-pushy behaviour, chatting to both remember they are a couple, and most of all no expectations can lead to rewarding social and playful time.

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By *eventhheaven2022Couple over a year ago

accrington

"I had very little negative experiences with couples when attending clubs.

A polite approach, a smile, a respectful and non-pushy behaviour, chatting to both remember they are a couple, and most of all no expectations can lead to rewarding social and playful time."

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

We've only attended one club where there were single guys. We actually wanted to get a single guy involved in a MFM threesome but none were our cup of tea. There were a group that followed us around the entire evening. Every time we felt uncomfortable we moved to another room and they followed us. This continued the whole night. It really put us off going to nights with single guys.

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By *1876Man over a year ago

Dudley

I've not been to a club yet, as I've heard so many stories about single guys having a rough time.

However, after reading the mixed comments on this post, I'm actually starting to feel much better about it.

I get that there are some idiotic single males out there, and likewise there are some people who are up their own arses.

Having said that, it also seems that there are plenty of ladies and couples who like - or prefer - single males.

With that in mind, I'll likely give Chams in Darlaston (as a local option) a try in the very near future.

Whatever the end result, I'm sure that it beats most of the interaction on Fab

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By *xxLandNxxxCouple over a year ago

Nuneaton

We don’t mind guys approaching us we enjoy the social side and happy to have a conversation with anyone even if it’s not going to lead to anything else. When we’re playing and hoping a guy will join us they seem to be reluctant. I think if the situation is approached properly with a polite do you mind if I watch or join in it can only go two ways.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Not sure what pr where this is going

Single guys really do seem to have a difficult time in clubs

It's as if they can't do right for wrong

Couples will say they don't want to see single guys hanging around watching or been the wanking zombies. Or couples /single ladies don't like been approached by S.M. to try start a conversion.

I totally get there are some single men who try and over step boundaries I've had it happen to me and ill just politely ask them to back up please .

Sometimes though I'll ask them to join in, if a particular sm takes my liking

There's different strokes for different folks and it must be really difficult for those single guys to mingle

I attended my first club last week as a SM, it was obviously overcrowded with men comparing to couples but I still secured an exclusive invite from one couple

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By *arry247Couple over a year ago

Wakefield

"Not sure what pr where this is going

Single guys really do seem to have a difficult time in clubs

It's as if they can't do right for wrong

Couples will say they don't want to see single guys hanging around watching or been the wanking zombies. Or couples /single ladies don't like been approached by S.M. to try start a conversion.

I totally get there are some single men who try and over step boundaries I've had it happen to me and ill just politely ask them to back up please .

Sometimes though I'll ask them to join in, if a particular sm takes my liking

There's different strokes for different folks and it must be really difficult for those single guys to mingle

We would suggest single guys would have more luck if instead of trying to join in during play they mix and talk with couples and women in the bar area, sauna or jacuzzie in clubs places where people are talking rather than playing.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Going to clubs as a single guy is an unpredictable experience. There are occasions when I've had a brilliant time and others when I've struggled to play. The successes tend to be of two kinds:

1. Greedy girls who are happy to take on all comers. The difficulty lies in pushing your way through the queue.

2. Ladies who are selective about who they play with. I chat socially first to see if there's a connection.

Ultimately, it's the club atmosphere when you visit that matters. The same club can have a very different vibe the next day."

I have found this to be accurate, particularly at Chams in Wednesbury. As a result, Bi nights on Monday tend to be the best night there, followed by Fridays. Saturdays, you won't even get in as a single guy.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"What everyone is describing is life.

There is no more guarantee of playing at a sex club than in normal life outside of one, all depends on preferences, interaction etc and not on just rocking up."

truer words have never been spoken!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"What everyone is describing is life.

There is no more guarantee of playing at a sex club than in normal life outside of one, all depends on preferences, interaction etc and not on just rocking up.

I agree with you!

Just treat it like a night out if something happens then it’s a bonus.

If the club is local/in your city and you can get there regularly then do so, it will definitely help.

When I used to go the guys that never got far were the ones sat looking miserable/unapproachable or following people around not giving space and reading body language.

Just enjoy your night and smile it goes a long way

Thank you for the advice. I have struggled A LOT even at packed events like BMFC or Dark Desires.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 12/09/22 02:23:01]

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"This is exactly it. I'm single (widowed) and into the scene, but without a partner in crime to share the occasion its extremely difficult. Treatment on fab also is negative being single and most just post abuse back or do not answer despite politeness. It's a struggle and as yet despite some encouragement from a handful of folk it's disheartening."

I agree. Playingfneitth a partner and playing alone have differing levels of receptivity. It's a gamble, and a very personal thing it seems to be...

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I really feel for introverted or shy single men. I’m introverted and shy, but I’m also female, so I can rely on others approaching and making an effort to chat. I can’t imagine what the experience is like if you aren’t an outgoing male."

As an introverted guy, I can tell you it's a nightmare. I have to force myself most times to make conversation. And because I Am terribly shy, and have a fear of rejection. I tend to speak too softly that I can't be heard, stammer when nervous, and my mind goes blank. So I have had challenging experiences in clubs, both swingers and “normal” clubs.

Getting there, but it's a struggle.

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By *landfordfabbersCouple over a year ago

Blandford ish

We have been to lots of clubs over the years and chatted to tons of single guys some have gone somewhere some haven’t .

I think the key is to just be friendly and polite say hi, if the couples are not interested they will generally say no thanks or let the convo die.

If they are playing say hey mind if i … watch/ join etc

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By *atnip make me purrWoman over a year ago

Reading

I like being watched if that helps.

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By *arkus1812Man over a year ago

Lifes departure lounge NN9 Northamptonshire East not West MidlandsMidlands

Without the single males who pay extortionate fees to keep the club afloat there would be no clubs for the couples to play in.

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By *rispyDuckMan over a year ago

Chinese Takeaway near you

And that's why I don't do clubs

just reading the reviews & the extortionate entry fees for guys compared to others it's a rip off.

It's basically pay to play & the play is not even guaranteed

But each to their own ayy

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By *xposedInTheSunCouple over a year ago

Cambridgeshire

"Without the single males who pay extortionate fees to keep the club afloat there would be no clubs for the couples to play in."

If a club charges couples more, then they get less couples, and the single guys have no-one to play with. Charging couples less is in everyone's interest.

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By *xposedInTheSunCouple over a year ago

Cambridgeshire

I know it's unfashionable, but we quite like the "wanking dead".

When we're looking for a single guy at a club we're often looking for a more anonymous experience - we'd rather socialise with couples. And there's a certain pleasurable power dynamic to just being able to pick who you like. A guy who can get an erection before we've even started playing is a good sign too!

Like everyone else we don't want to be followed around, so a guy will have most chance with us if he just magically appears at the right moment. But then we appreciate that not everyone gets that right every time - we're not perfect ourselves.

And maybe at our age we're more appreciative of anyone showing any interest!

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By *r SensualMan over a year ago

London

I can’t say I’ve ever struggled or had difficulty in club as a single guy if I’m honest, in fact I’ve found it to be quite the opposite.

Yes I may have to pay more to get in compared to couples and single females but that’s just is what it is really. I put my best foot forward, go up and introduce myself to folk and spend majority of the first couple of hours of a night mingling and working the room.

Some of the best swinging experiences of mine have taken place in clubs

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By *udigaranCouple over a year ago

Wakefield

I don't mind single guys in general / in principle, and have chatted to some nice ones at clubs here and there.

But I'm also a little shy, very low confidence, and seem to have a knack for attracting pushy or overbearing men--whether single or swinging. Perhaps those types can sense a doormat.

So I am very leery of anyone who isn't my partner, and do prefer other couples. Maybe it's irrational and all in my head, but it feels safer and easier for me to engage that way. I'm sure it's a me and not them issue, though.

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By *zlakMan over a year ago

Lowestoft

I have been to clubs and have never had a problem. I'm always polite and make conversation but i think the main thing is NEVER go to a club Expecting to play!

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By *..WillowCouple over a year ago

East Lincs

We have been going to clubs for a few years now and find they can all be a different experience on any given night depending on the people attending. In our view the clubs themselves can vary from the plush and exclusive to almost seedy.

The fact that single men are charged more than couples at some establishments does seem rather unfair but economics does play apart I suppose. Many do only charge the same as a couple and they would be the ones I would attend if single.

The fact that some men can be lacking in social ettiquete can also be applied to couples as well.

We have had a few instances with both that required a few firm words. But doesnt that just reflect society as a whole? Good and bad everywhere. In our view single men enhance the club atmosphere and have in the past for us made an ok night into a bloody good one!

As has been mentioned go to a club with the view that it is a social night out, mingle with the people in the bar area, be respectful and have a conversation as you would in any pub or club. We often make an effort to approach a single guy who looks out of his depth as we appreciate how hard it can be to just walk up and start a conversation with a stranger. Apologies for the long post people. Party on!

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By *ruxruMan over a year ago

sheffield

"I know it's unfashionable, but we quite like the "wanking dead".

And maybe at our age we're more appreciative of anyone showing any interest!"

very much agree, it's often all about the right moment and a spectrum of well arosen cocks to choose from (noted as a single man visiting clubs)

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I’ve had way more issues with couples than single men, both at clubs and on here.

I’ve never, not once had an issue with single men in a club!!

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By *oiluvfunMan over a year ago

Penrith

I've been to several clubs as a solo guy, my last time was Club Play in Blackpool in December, and that was the final nail in the coffin for me and the club scene.

In no other aspect of my life, have I ever felt so alone, and unwanted. Never again.

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By *xposedInTheSunCouple over a year ago

Cambridgeshire

"I have been to clubs and have never had a problem. I'm always polite and make conversation but i think the main thing is NEVER go to a club Expecting to play!

I'd go further and say always go expecting to not play, whether you're a single or couple. If you aren't happy going on that basis, then a club's probably not for you.

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By *..WillowCouple over a year ago

East Lincs

"I've been to several clubs as a solo guy, my last time was Club Play in Blackpool in December, and that was the final nail in the coffin for me and the club scene.

In no other aspect of my life, have I ever felt so alone, and unwanted. Never again."

That last paragraph sounded so sad.

What made you feel that way?

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By *ustamanMan over a year ago

weymouth

"I've been to several clubs as a solo guy, my last time was Club Play in Blackpool in December, and that was the final nail in the coffin for me and the club scene.

In no other aspect of my life, have I ever felt so alone, and unwanted. Never again."

This tbh is my fear , I'm off to a club next week but not being naturally gregarious I fear I'll disappear into the wallpaper - still it's one night I'll give it a go and see what happens, not expecting to play but if I make some connections/contacts going forward then the evening will have been a success

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By *oiluvfunMan over a year ago

Penrith

"I've been to several clubs as a solo guy, my last time was Club Play in Blackpool in December, and that was the final nail in the coffin for me and the club scene.

In no other aspect of my life, have I ever felt so alone, and unwanted. Never again.

That last paragraph sounded so sad.

What made you feel that way?"

Just being ignored, like you have nothing to offer

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

1. try not to be a creep lol

2. dont just flop ya weapon out like its casual and jump in the "que" lol

3. chill.. just chat to people ..few drinks..ect

4.be funny , relax ..have a laugh

5. main point - dont go to these events expecting to run throu all the girls in the building

not speaking from experience BUT im sure most guys would greatly benifit from these steps ? hahhaa

let them "cum" to you ..hehehe

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By *pin21Man over a year ago

Killarney

"I love single guys...most are very respectful..its couples that get on my tits

It is great to hear that. I've had good and bad experiences with both single women and couples, but I have to admit, Ive had more bad experiences and time-wasting with couples. I am not out to bash couples, as I have met lovely ones too, I am just saying. There are a of decent, respectful, single men out there, but unfortunately a few wankers excuse the pun, ruin it for some of us

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

As many above attending a club is scary to say the least.

I have attended two clubs as a single, both were very welcoming.

My mindset is to use it purely to make friends, connections, no expectations (almost like a normal bar).

Also it purely depends on who else is attending so can make it hard I'd single men isn't their choice.

I must make an effort to attend more nights, as previously mentioned I think if you attend regularly there is more chance of striking up conversation

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Most are very respectful so we only attend clubs where singles are allowed in as the wife can be a little partial to an extra cock.

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By *sBlueWoman over a year ago

Up North

I wouldn’t go if no single men

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By *astesLikeMagicWoman over a year ago

Newcastle

I love meeting single guys in clubs

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By *ruxruMan over a year ago

sheffield

"I love meeting single guys in clubs"

hope Quest is not too far for you?!

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By *tylebender03Man over a year ago

Manchester

This puts me off going clubs, I can’t be arsed with it, ideally they would do singles nights at the clubs but the ratio would prob be 10 males to one women lol

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

As a couple we love single guys, it's the other couples that make everything awkward in a club lol

a lot of the female partners get competitive or judgemental. I remember my first time in a club, I sat in the hot tub while Mr was smoking and it was full of single guys and one couple in their 40s. She squinted at me, asked my age (23 at the time) and huffed. Storm out the tub telling him she won't play with "that"

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By *amnaughtybutniceWoman over a year ago

tf1

I go to clubs on my own and have been as part of a couple.

Some single guys are annoying but I’ve had more issues with couples tbh.

Last time I went a male half of couple was chatting and his wife was not happy about it. She got quite stroppy with him.

I wouldn’t go if single guys weren’t allowed.

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By *iss pleasuring OP Woman over a year ago

Somewhere near

"As a couple we love single guys, it's the other couples that make everything awkward in a club lol

How rude

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By *iss pleasuring OP Woman over a year ago

Somewhere near

"As many above attending a club is scary to say the least.

I have attended two clubs as a single, both were very welcoming.

My mindset is to use it purely to make friends, connections, no expectations (almost like a normal bar).

Also it purely depends on who else is attending so can make it hard I'd single men isn't their choice.

I must make an effort to attend more nights, as previously mentioned I think if you attend regularly there is more chance of striking up conversation "

The hottub I find is best place for chatting with everyone tge conversation is easier to part take in

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By *artytymemeMan over a year ago

Mansfield

I'd love to go to a club but as a single guy I'd be too shy and worried I would offend anyone.

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By *ophieslutTV/TS over a year ago

Central

Each individual guy is unique and responsible for himself. He can take the steps he chooses to ensure that he only makes positive impressions on others.

If he's joined a club, it's presumably for longer-lasting impressions, ratha than what he can get on any 1 night. Rather than being stale, he would probably be better spending less time, rather than more, if he wants to avoid seemingly hanging around, just in case. I prefer anyone who is light and upbeat, rather than someone who seems uncomfortably a little too desperate for any attention. Keeping trips frequent and briefe, is potentially better for many of them. They get to be known and build up a list of people they've chatted with

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By *ophieslutTV/TS over a year ago

Central

"I'd love to go to a club but as a single guy I'd be too shy and worried I would offend anyone. "

You won't offend anyone, if you're respectful and polite

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I love single guys...most are very respectful..its couples that get on my tits

Hadn't realised, until I saw this comment, but it's spot on. Whenever we've been with other couples YES the Mr can be quite forward, confident almost eager than a SM is usually.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Damn! I was thinking of hitting a club on Thursday! - This has put me off!

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By *iss pleasuring OP Woman over a year ago

Somewhere near

"Damn! I was thinking of hitting a club on Thursday! - This has put me off! "

If you don't go, you'll never know

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Damn! I was thinking of hitting a club on Thursday! - This has put me off!

If you don't go, you'll never know

Haha! Wanna come with me?

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By *LiamMan over a year ago

Midlands

Couples can keep the clubs, smell of sweaty arsecheeks anyway

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By *iss pleasuring OP Woman over a year ago

Somewhere near

"Damn! I was thinking of hitting a club on Thursday! - This has put me off!

If you don't go, you'll never know

Haha! Wanna come with me?

Depends where haha

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Damn! I was thinking of hitting a club on Thursday! - This has put me off!

If you don't go, you'll never know

Haha! Wanna come with me?

Depends where haha"

Lol - I’m easy! Take me wherever you like!

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By *iss pleasuring OP Woman over a year ago

Somewhere near

"Damn! I was thinking of hitting a club on Thursday! - This has put me off!

If you don't go, you'll never know

Haha! Wanna come with me?

Depends where haha

Lol - I’m easy! Take me wherever you like!

You changed ya tune

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Damn! I was thinking of hitting a club on Thursday! - This has put me off!

If you don't go, you'll never know

Haha! Wanna come with me?

Depends where haha

Lol - I’m easy! Take me wherever you like!

You changed ya tune"

I’m easily persuaded!

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By *iss pleasuring OP Woman over a year ago

Somewhere near

"Damn! I was thinking of hitting a club on Thursday! - This has put me off!

If you don't go, you'll never know

Haha! Wanna come with me?

Depends where haha

Lol - I’m easy! Take me wherever you like!

You changed ya tune

I’m easily persuaded!

Forgive my confusion. Firstly you said " shall I ho with ya now your been easy and want taking. Maybe I'm not the confused one after all

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Damn! I was thinking of hitting a club on Thursday! - This has put me off!

If you don't go, you'll never know

Haha! Wanna come with me?

Depends where haha

Lol - I’m easy! Take me wherever you like!

You changed ya tune

I’m easily persuaded!

Forgive my confusion. Firstly you said " shall I ho with ya now your been easy and want taking. Maybe I'm not the confused one after all"

Take or go with - I’m confused! Are we actually going together? x

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By *iss pleasuring OP Woman over a year ago

Somewhere near

"Damn! I was thinking of hitting a club on Thursday! - This has put me off!

If you don't go, you'll never know

Haha! Wanna come with me?

Depends where haha

Lol - I’m easy! Take me wherever you like!

You changed ya tune

I’m easily persuaded!

Forgive my confusion. Firstly you said " shall I ho with ya now your been easy and want taking. Maybe I'm not the confused one after all

Take or go with - I’m confused! Are we actually going together? x"

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Damn! I was thinking of hitting a club on Thursday! - This has put me off!

If you don't go, you'll never know

Haha! Wanna come with me?

Depends where haha

Lol - I’m easy! Take me wherever you like!

You changed ya tune

I’m easily persuaded!

Forgive my confusion. Firstly you said " shall I ho with ya now your been easy and want taking. Maybe I'm not the confused one after all

Take or go with - I’m confused! Are we actually going together? x

I can’t wait

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I seen single men at clubs I had been lucky as u find out when you chat with them and if i like happy days for both

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By *eekingjoy777Woman over a year ago

dorset

I agree

Clubs need single guys too

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

We went to a club last Sunday, and single guys were in attendance. The majority, although not her cup of tea seemed respectful. However, there were a small handful who constantly followed us round.

Due to this, we will probably only attend on couples only nights for the time being.

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By *iss pleasuring OP Woman over a year ago

Somewhere near

"We went to a club last Sunday, and single guys were in attendance. The majority, although not her cup of tea seemed respectful. However, there were a small handful who constantly followed us round.

Due to this, we will probably only attend on couples only nights for the time being. "

I always find it rather amusing as they follow ya around . Like lost sheep. I could say something else might get a ban

Usually I'll just pass a humorous comment to them a d they usually back the fk away

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I go to clubs on my own and have been as part of a couple.

Some single guys are annoying but I’ve had more issues with couples tbh.

Last time I went a male half of couple was chatting and his wife was not happy about it. She got quite stroppy with him.

I wouldn’t go if single guys weren’t allowed. "

Yep I’ve had this before too, there seems to be quite a few insecure partners in clubs.

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By *ames_HertsMan over a year ago

North Hertfordshire

I'd say when ever I'm in a club, I'm enjoying a laugh with my mates too much to even try and pull anyone

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By *host63Man over a year ago

Bedfont Feltham

I don't go to clubs that often ad a single male unless I am meeting someone there.

I hate being one of the zombie single males. Trying to mingle and be friendly is just as bad. Getting frozen out is demoralising.

I think more and more guys realise the futilityband stop going and these clubs will start to suffer losses. Its the single guys who pay the most to keep these places going.

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By *nicornExplorersCouple over a year ago

north east

It's a strange topic this.

Just like any member of the sex, they can be just as problematic.

Don't get us wrong we've had a couple negative experiences like a single guy trying to get into room while playing or 1 tried to get in, baring in mind curtains drawn door locked, but he was turfed our d*unk.

But we also appreciate just how daunting it must be, we are both hugely secure in ourselves, while we aren't actively looking for single males, it's never a no, but a freedom to approach on ourside, just like single females etc.

I think some couples are maybe male lead and that's the issue of single males nit getting a shot, who knows but I think way to many couples who are ultimately cold and callous towards them for just being in the club.

So long as SM and all members respect and behave, who cares have fun.

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By *ristinapinkWoman over a year ago

Staines-upon-Thames

For me a club without single guys is quite boring. I am a regular to a local one and have helped single guys with their first time, not meeting I will play with them, but will have a drink and introduce them to other regulars

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By *oiluvfunMan over a year ago

Penrith

"I don't go to clubs that often ad a single male unless I am meeting someone there.

I hate being one of the zombie single males. Trying to mingle and be friendly is just as bad. Getting frozen out is demoralising.

I think more and more guys realise the futilityband stop going and these clubs will start to suffer losses. Its the single guys who pay the most to keep these places going.

It’s not the cost of being a single guy in these places which put me off going; money can be replaced, time wasted can’t. It’s feeling like a gatecrasher at someone else’s party, the being “frozen out” as you put it

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

As a single guy who's been to a club, I admit it was a bit of a daunting experience. I was lucky enough to be invited to play, but plenty of others weren't.

I think if you go with no expectations, are respectful, and go with an open mind, you are more likely to enjoy the experience overall.

Just my two pence worth

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I'd like to visit the club cjs in glasgow to meet more people but the thought of going and feeling un welcome because your a single male and considered as a leech by most folk puts me off going ..

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By *uke olovingmanMan over a year ago

Gravesend

"I don't go to clubs that often ad a single male unless I am meeting someone there.

I hate being one of the zombie single males. Trying to mingle and be friendly is just as bad. Getting frozen out is demoralising.

I think more and more guys realise the futilityband stop going and these clubs will start to suffer losses. Its the single guys who pay the most to keep these places going.

"
I totally agree...that's why I always try to go with a lady friend..if no one wants to play with us at least we have each other ....and it's not just the sex ..its having someone to talk with

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By *portyndNaughtyMan over a year ago

Nearby Hinckley

"I don't go to clubs that often ad a single male unless I am meeting someone there.

I hate being one of the zombie single males. Trying to mingle and be friendly is just as bad. Getting frozen out is demoralising.

I think more and more guys realise the futilityband stop going and these clubs will start to suffer losses. Its the single guys who pay the most to keep these places going.

I totally agree...that's why I always try to go with a lady friend..if no one wants to play with us at least we have each other ....and it's not just the sex ..its having someone to talk with

I guess the mixed feelings are all linked to personal experience. As already mentioned by me on this thread, my experience in most of the clubs I have visited was positive. Having said that I truly believe clubs are not the right place for shy men, who are afraid to initiate a conversation or find it hard to deal with a possible rejection.

I reiterate on my personal experience a polite approach, a smile, a respectful and non-pushy behaviour, chatting to both remember they are a couple, and most of all no expectations can lead to rewarding social and playful time.

Since my first visit few years ago I have never looked back. Really enjoy the club scene.

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By *oiluvfunMan over a year ago

Penrith

"I don't go to clubs that often ad a single male unless I am meeting someone there.

I hate being one of the zombie single males. Trying to mingle and be friendly is just as bad. Getting frozen out is demoralising.

I think more and more guys realise the futilityband stop going and these clubs will start to suffer losses. Its the single guys who pay the most to keep these places going.

I totally agree...that's why I always try to go with a lady friend..if no one wants to play with us at least we have each other ....and it's not just the sex ..its having someone to talk with

It’s amusing isn’t it? On every thread that’s ever been started about single guys going to clubs, the biggest point made, is never to go with expectations of play. Yet, what is the first question anyone asks when you say you went to a club? “Did you get any play?”…..

My expectations have never been more than to feel welcome, which was sadly rarely the case….

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By *portyndNaughtyMan over a year ago

Nearby Hinckley

"I don't go to clubs that often ad a single male unless I am meeting someone there.

I hate being one of the zombie single males. Trying to mingle and be friendly is just as bad. Getting frozen out is demoralising.

I think more and more guys realise the futilityband stop going and these clubs will start to suffer losses. Its the single guys who pay the most to keep these places going.

I totally agree...that's why I always try to go with a lady friend..if no one wants to play with us at least we have each other ....and it's not just the sex ..its having someone to talk with

My expectations have never been more than to feel welcome, which was sadly rarely the case….

OP as I said it is all based on personal experience. Mine on this site is awful rarely got a reply despite getting quite a lot of views on my profile every week. On the other hand, my club experience is quite satisfying.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Its interesting reading some of the profiles from women that state ' will only meet in clubs' yet by what I've read, very few would actually entertain a guy if he did!

For the same reason many others have stated, I wouldn't go to a club (in the UK) on my own as I have visions of being the guy in the corner being ignored or even if I did try to speak, would be told to F off. Would love to go with a woman, but can't find one who wants to! Clubs abroad (especially in Spain) appear to be more user friendly. Clearly it has to be something to do with being British!

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By *iss pleasuring OP Woman over a year ago

Somewhere near

"I don't go to clubs that often ad a single male unless I am meeting someone there.

I hate being one of the zombie single males. Trying to mingle and be friendly is just as bad. Getting frozen out is demoralising.

I think more and more guys realise the futilityband stop going and these clubs will start to suffer losses. Its the single guys who pay the most to keep these places going.

I totally agree...that's why I always try to go with a lady friend..if no one wants to play with us at least we have each other ....and it's not just the sex ..its having someone to talk with

My expectations have never been more than to feel welcome, which was sadly rarely the case….

That's sad to hear that.

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By *..WillowCouple over a year ago

East Lincs

As I have said in an earlier post. You get a broad spectrum of people in most clubs. Amongst them are going to be a few knobheads. Male and female to be honest.

Over the time we have been going regularly to a few clubs it has become quite apparent that a selection of the men that go frequently are very successful in their endeavours.

We are not talking drop dead gorgeous Adonis either, just average blokes ranging in age from early thirties to late sixties. They all have good social skills, can engage in decent conversation and are well presented. It would seem that single men are either suited to the club scene or they are not, depending on personality. Gregarious and out going or shy and introverted.

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By *inkForLifeCouple over a year ago

North Shields

We only play with single guys in clubs, usually only bi men too.

As a general rule, we prefer to be proactive engaging with single guys, it's rare we get approached AND then subsequently play with a single guy. That's not deliberate, however we generally find that the type of guy we like, wouldn't approach us.

In essence, if we've not approached you, then there's pretty much a zero % chance we'll play with you.

One major problem we have with clubs is where on themed nights, such as a bi night, they limit the number of single guys but allow any number of couples in, and often charge more for single guys.

If we go to a bi night, we want to have as much choice of bi men as possible!

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By *aurus1987Man over a year ago

York

I'd feel nervous really, not just for being there but for people to see my face, birthmark and a fat lip. Also the courage needed to do it.

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By *ovelyLady21Couple over a year ago

Bury St Edmunds

"I think previous posters have raised some very valid points.

1. Without single males most clubs would have to put up their prices for couples & single fems - esp in current financial climate.

2. My advice to single males in clubs is Talk, make eye contact, be friendly & smile, a lot just don’t do the simple things and wonder why no one invites them to chat/ play.

I have seen some single males just crowd couples in dark rooms/ cinemas etc putting the couples off..

Just don’t be a nob.. Simple’s "

We agree with this completely. We prefer club events with single men, but many don't make an effort to engage in any sort of conversation, or to read the signs at all. We like to be approached and to have a chat, after all, how else do we know if we want to play x

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By *oiluvfunMan over a year ago

Penrith

"I don't go to clubs that often ad a single male unless I am meeting someone there.

I hate being one of the zombie single males. Trying to mingle and be friendly is just as bad. Getting frozen out is demoralising.

I think more and more guys realise the futilityband stop going and these clubs will start to suffer losses. Its the single guys who pay the most to keep these places going.

I totally agree...that's why I always try to go with a lady friend..if no one wants to play with us at least we have each other ....and it's not just the sex ..its having someone to talk with

My expectations have never been more than to feel welcome, which was sadly rarely the case….

That's sad to hear that.

As one very well known (female) club host once said in a similar forum thread; "single guys in clubs are a nice to have, not a necessity", and that pretty much sums it up...

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By *..WillowCouple over a year ago

East Lincs

"I don't go to clubs that often ad a single male unless I am meeting someone there.

I hate being one of the zombie single males. Trying to mingle and be friendly is just as bad. Getting frozen out is demoralising.

I think more and more guys realise the futilityband stop going and these clubs will start to suffer losses. Its the single guys who pay the most to keep these places going.

I totally agree...that's why I always try to go with a lady friend..if no one wants to play with us at least we have each other ....and it's not just the sex ..its having someone to talk with

My expectations have never been more than to feel welcome, which was sadly rarely the case….

That's sad to hear that.

As one very well known (female) club host once said in a similar forum thread; "single guys in clubs are a nice to have, not a necessity", and that pretty much sums it up..."

If you lived closer we would take you to a club introduce you to all the sexy people and watch you stagger out at the end of the evening

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By *eyeYCouple over a year ago

Nr Leicester

Have zero problem with single guys at club's it's down to them how they behave mind.. Y is very much the exhibitionist and attracts a lot of attention. But a guy who can't read the situation, or back off will put both of our back's up! She'll cut him down and I will get protective of my girl!

One who engages with both attractive to her and respectful of our relationship would most likely reap the rewards..

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By *eyeYCouple over a year ago

Nr Leicester

As with most things, the few spoil it for the majority...

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By *oiluvfunMan over a year ago

Penrith

If you lived closer we would take you to a club introduce you to all the sexy people and watch you stagger out at the end of the evening

I appreciate that thought, thank you! It would certainly be a first for me

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I don't go to clubs that often ad a single male unless I am meeting someone there.

I hate being one of the zombie single males. Trying to mingle and be friendly is just as bad. Getting frozen out is demoralising.

I think more and more guys realise the futilityband stop going and these clubs will start to suffer losses. Its the single guys who pay the most to keep these places going.

I totally agree...that's why I always try to go with a lady friend..if no one wants to play with us at least we have each other ....and it's not just the sex ..its having someone to talk with

My expectations have never been more than to feel welcome, which was sadly rarely the case….

That's sad to hear that.

As one very well known (female) club host once said in a similar forum thread; "single guys in clubs are a nice to have, not a necessity", and that pretty much sums it up..."

For me they’re a necessity, in all honesty I’d love a singles night, I’d go more often if couples weren’t in attendance!

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By *aurus1987Man over a year ago

York

"I don't go to clubs that often ad a single male unless I am meeting someone there.

I hate being one of the zombie single males. Trying to mingle and be friendly is just as bad. Getting frozen out is demoralising.

I think more and more guys realise the futilityband stop going and these clubs will start to suffer losses. Its the single guys who pay the most to keep these places going.

I totally agree...that's why I always try to go with a lady friend..if no one wants to play with us at least we have each other ....and it's not just the sex ..its having someone to talk with

My expectations have never been more than to feel welcome, which was sadly rarely the case….

That's sad to hear that.

As one very well known (female) club host once said in a similar forum thread; "single guys in clubs are a nice to have, not a necessity", and that pretty much sums it up...

For me they’re a necessity, in all honesty I’d love a singles night, I’d go more often if couples weren’t in attendance! "

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"As with most things, the few spoil it for the majority...

Do true!

I have always enjoyed clubs but then I'm happy to approach people, make small talk and read the room about whether I'm welcome or not. You see others just sat in the corner wanking....

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By *eyeYCouple over a year ago

Nr Leicester

"As with most things, the few spoil it for the majority...

Do true!

I have always enjoyed clubs but then I'm happy to approach people, make small talk and read the room about whether I'm welcome or not. You see others just sat in the corner wanking...."

Yes exactly! Attractive to who??

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"As with most things, the few spoil it for the majority...

Do true!

I have always enjoyed clubs but then I'm happy to approach people, make small talk and read the room about whether I'm welcome or not. You see others just sat in the corner wanking....

Yes exactly! Attractive to who??"

And they wonder why no one wants to play

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By *ranimallxl5Man over a year ago

Winchester

It's a nice place for me to sit and think as I get a lot of peace n quiet x

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By *zlakMan over a year ago

Lowestoft

"I have been to clubs and have never had a problem. I'm always polite and make conversation but i think the main thing is NEVER go to a club Expecting to play!

I'd go further and say always go expecting to not play, whether you're a single or couple. If you aren't happy going on that basis, then a club's probably not for you.

Agree 100% thats why i Never expect to play

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By *..WillowCouple over a year ago

East Lincs

"I don't go to clubs that often ad a single male unless I am meeting someone there.

I hate being one of the zombie single males. Trying to mingle and be friendly is just as bad. Getting frozen out is demoralising.

I think more and more guys realise the futilityband stop going and these clubs will start to suffer losses. Its the single guys who pay the most to keep these places going.

I totally agree...that's why I always try to go with a lady friend..if no one wants to play with us at least we have each other ....and it's not just the sex ..its having someone to talk with

My expectations have never been more than to feel welcome, which was sadly rarely the case….

That's sad to hear that.

As one very well known (female) club host once said in a similar forum thread; "single guys in clubs are a nice to have, not a necessity", and that pretty much sums it up...

For me they’re a necessity, in all honesty I’d love a singles night, I’d go more often if couples weren’t in attendance! "

I doubt that would be practical. Generally couples make up the majority of women on most nights. The ratio of males to females on a singles evening would probably end up a sausage fest. Leading to the majority of men standing around with said sausage in hand again

If it could be worked that numbers were more even it would be popular no doubt.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I don't go to clubs that often ad a single male unless I am meeting someone there.

I hate being one of the zombie single males. Trying to mingle and be friendly is just as bad. Getting frozen out is demoralising.

I think more and more guys realise the futilityband stop going and these clubs will start to suffer losses. Its the single guys who pay the most to keep these places going.

I totally agree...that's why I always try to go with a lady friend..if no one wants to play with us at least we have each other ....and it's not just the sex ..its having someone to talk with

My expectations have never been more than to feel welcome, which was sadly rarely the case….

That's sad to hear that.

As one very well known (female) club host once said in a similar forum thread; "single guys in clubs are a nice to have, not a necessity", and that pretty much sums it up...

For me they’re a necessity, in all honesty I’d love a singles night, I’d go more often if couples weren’t in attendance!

If it could be worked that numbers were more even it would be popular no doubt. "

Couples are my biggest annoyance at clubs lol seriously if you aren’t secure in your relationship don’t visit a club and don’t get annoyed when your partner looks at or chats to me!

Never had an issue with single males, had plenty of issues with couples though!

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By *tew008Man over a year ago

edinburgh

I wouldn’t go to a club as a single male.

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By *xposedInTheSunCouple over a year ago

Cambridgeshire

"don’t get annoyed when your partner looks at or chats to me!"

My partner can look at you or chat to you as much as she likes, as far as I'm concerned!

It strikes me that good advice to single guys might be "don't go to a club that doesn't have couples only nights". If the club does have a couples only night, then the couples who have no interest in single guys are much more likely to go then, and there will be less of them on other nights.

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By *atnip make me purrWoman over a year ago

Reading

I am so glad I'm not a guy. Going to a club as a single guy must be a nightmare. Hats off to you all.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"don’t get annoyed when your partner looks at or chats to me!

My partner can look at you or chat to you as much as she likes, as far as I'm concerned!

It’s always the women that have the issue not the guy lol

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By *HaRiFMan over a year ago

Beyond the shadows.

"I am so glad I'm not a guy. Going to a club as a single guy must be a nightmare. Hats off to you all. "

It's quite a fun experience if you go with the correct mindset and no expectations.

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By *ubwife4uCouple over a year ago

Kent

Don't most clubs have "Couples Only" nights? I assumed they all did. Our local one does, yet in the reviews there are couples (who attended on a single male night)moaning about the single guys. I don't get it. If you don't want to meet single guys, go on a couples night. Then perhaps (with the couples and ladies on a "Single Male" night there to engage with "single males") guys might feel more welcome and more confident to approach and chat rather than standing in a corner feeling about as welcome as a fart in a space suit.

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By *iss pleasuring OP Woman over a year ago

Somewhere near

"I'd feel nervous really, not just for being there but for people to see my face, birthmark and a fat lip. Also the courage needed to do it."

That's sad that ypu think today people will judge ya for such

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Not sure what pr where this is going

Single guys really do seem to have a difficult time in clubs

It's as if they can't do right for wrong

Couples will say they don't want to see single guys hanging around watching or been the wanking zombies. Or couples /single ladies don't like been approached by S.M. to try start a conversion.

I totally get there are some single men who try and over step boundaries I've had it happen to me and ill just politely ask them to back up please .

Sometimes though I'll ask them to join in, if a particular sm takes my liking

There's different strokes for different folks and it must be really difficult for those single guys to mingle

Where were you dear. Last Saturday I went to my first swinger's club meet.

Couples group told me look for singles as that was only couples group.

So I wandered around and around. Luckily I didn't even feel an erection due to the neglect.

Occasionally I stood at the last in the line of wankers to have a glance.

Though it was my first I have began to weigh more for paid sex parties than swinging for single males.

Sad...

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By *iss pleasuring OP Woman over a year ago

Somewhere near

"don’t get annoyed when your partner looks at or chats to me!

My partner can look at you or chat to you as much as she likes, as far as I'm concerned!

It’s always the women that have the issue not the guy lol "

That's a hard comment. Given the thread posts .

Clubs are part of the lifestyle . What ever that is .. and we all could do with been a little more respectful of everyone. We are human

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"don’t get annoyed when your partner looks at or chats to me!

My partner can look at you or chat to you as much as she likes, as far as I'm concerned!

It’s always the women that have the issue not the guy lol

That's a hard comment. Given the thread posts .

Clubs are part of the lifestyle . What ever that is .. and we all could do with been a little more respectful of everyone. We are human "

Their problem shouldn’t become my problem! If someone is the jealous type, maybe avoid clubs. I’ve had to endure sniping and bitchiness more than once because of it. And that’s their issue, not mine! I don’t even play with guys in couples, I’m single guys only!

My point is I’ve found couples to be more of a problem than single guys.

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By *tew008Man over a year ago

edinburgh

"don’t get annoyed when your partner looks at or chats to me!

My partner can look at you or chat to you as much as she likes, as far as I'm concerned!

It’s always the women that have the issue not the guy lol

That's a hard comment. Given the thread posts .

Clubs are part of the lifestyle . What ever that is .. and we all could do with been a little more respectful of everyone. We are human

My point is I’ve found couples to be more of a problem than single guys."

Probably down to perspective lassies will think women are worse, lads will think guys are worse.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Jealousy jealousy!!!! I think the idea is to have fun!

If I went with someone I’d hope they’d have fun too.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Jealousy jealousy!!!! I think the idea is to have fun!

If I went with someone I’d hope they’d have fun too. "

Exactly!

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By *portyndNaughtyMan over a year ago

Nearby Hinckley

"I don't go to clubs that often ad a single male unless I am meeting someone there.

I hate being one of the zombie single males. Trying to mingle and be friendly is just as bad. Getting frozen out is demoralising.

I think more and more guys realise the futilityband stop going and these clubs will start to suffer losses. Its the single guys who pay the most to keep these places going.

I totally agree...that's why I always try to go with a lady friend..if no one wants to play with us at least we have each other ....and it's not just the sex ..its having someone to talk with

My expectations have never been more than to feel welcome, which was sadly rarely the case….

That's sad to hear that.

As one very well known (female) club host once said in a similar forum thread; "single guys in clubs are a nice to have, not a necessity", and that pretty much sums it up..."

She probably does not own a club and is talking porkies. One of the clubs I regularly visited decided few years ago to be couples only. It did not last 6 months as the owner realised how much of his income was generated by single men. Big U-Turn and very luck that few of the previous single guys returned to the club.

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By *oiluvfunMan over a year ago

Penrith

"I am so glad I'm not a guy. Going to a club as a single guy must be a nightmare. Hats off to you all.

It's quite a fun experience if you go with the correct mindset and no expectations. "

Visiting the 'right' club helps too I'm sure. Most clubs have their cliques, which are difficult to break in to, as a single guy. At the end of the day, there's only so much I can do myself, to 'present' as being a decent, and respectful guy, if nobody is willing to converse with me. "You only get out of clubs what you put in" is poor attempt to lay the blame of a less than positive experience at my feet, when you've made the effort to visit one of these places who will draw you in with cries of "Everyone is so friendly at our club! We'll look after you"....

You seem to do well at the Attic and Purple Mamba, which suggests they are genuinely welcoming to one and all. I've read nothing but positive reports about Purple Mamba, and it's a shame it's so far from me, as I would be tempted to go there

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By *otTheReal01Man over a year ago

London

I tend to go to kink events more these days but I've found that when I've gone to swinger clubs if I've gone with no expectations and just chat and be friendly that I've gotten play in some form the majority of times I've been.

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By *ocalmMan over a year ago

letterkenny

Hey MP great discussion thank you for starting it. Great to see there is some understanding out there about how it feels for single guys.

I went to one in PDI a while back and felt very much like I was out of place.

Many guys do not help the situation by being pushing and acting like it is some kind of competition.

There are lots of decent guys though that just want to have some respectful fun and enjoy the company.

Having no expectations is a great suggestion with just being relaxed and good company.

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By *iss pleasuring OP Woman over a year ago

Somewhere near

"don’t get annoyed when your partner looks at or chats to me!

My partner can look at you or chat to you as much as she likes, as far as I'm concerned!

It’s always the women that have the issue not the guy lol

That's a hard comment. Given the thread posts .

Clubs are part of the lifestyle . What ever that is .. and we all could do with been a little more respectful of everyone. We are human

My point is I’ve found couples to be more of a problem than single guys."

It's a hard chew that some people are so rude and disrespectful. They would be type of people to be first to complain

I am same that I dont go clubs that don't include single guys

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By *rontier PsychiatristMan over a year ago

Coventry

An interesting topic. I started on the club scene as single male. Now I experience it both as a couple with My Girl and as lone male. So I see both sides of the coin.

As a single you can feel like a third class citizen and sometimes treated exactly like that. For example my first club the single male's changing room was like a tiny broom cupboard, filthy and disgusting. Returned to the same club as a couple and the couples/single ladies changing was huge and like a Palace in comparison.

As a straight guy I could see some of the behaviour of single guys but I didn't really experience single guys until I started visiting as a couple and thus being subject to some dodgy behaviour, advances and attitudes. But also seen there are some absolutely brilliant guys out there who just a brilliant attitude, personality and just get it right (even when the attraction isn't there and you tell them it's a no thanks). So let's not forget there are some great guys out there.

I think women and couples tend to start putting their guard up after a few bad experiences. Which makes its difficult for single guys too. Which in turn puts a lot of single guys backs up in return (which is understandable).

I'm also not sure what some guys expect and if they sort of pressurise themselves which becomes a factor in unattractive behaviour.

It's very difficult as a single guy. Especially when your like me and struggle with social anxiety and the ability to always read people and situations. For me it generally results in me having little understanding I'm being flirted with unless laid on thick or clearly communicated (which I prefer over getting things wrong the other way round). Although I've generally find treat people as you expect to be treated, don't be a dick and smile, the rest sorts it's self out. But it's not easy (personally speaking), sometimes I have social or sensory melt downs. But when I do I generally remove my self discreetly, pull myself together and get back in the game. But in defence of men and some strange behaviour it's difficult. I think some guys just don't know how to be and act contrary to their normal behaviour. Or get seduced by worry into herd mentality and join the wanking dead. Not that I can excuse or explain all strange or bad behaviour because I've seen some terrible stuff in my time. And once there was one guy who was lucky he escaped the club before I got my hands on him.

As others have said depends on the club you go to. Our local club I attend alone and together. It's a good club because single guys are not treated like third class citizens either by the set up of the club or more importantly the other members. It's a very welcoming club with a fair few regular single women. No seperate dressing rooms, no extortionate fees for guys. And maybe partly why it has so many regular single ladies is because plenty single guys do attend and they are happy and comfortable. As a lone male I just wouldn't want to attend a club again where I feel like a third class citizen.

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By *iss pleasuring OP Woman over a year ago

Somewhere near

"Hey MP great discussion thank you for starting it. Great to see there is some understanding out there about how it feels for single guys.

I went to one in PDI a while back and felt very much like I was out of place.

Many guys do not help the situation by being pushing and acting like it is some kind of competition.

There are lots of decent guys though that just want to have some respectful fun and enjoy the company.

Having no expectations is a great suggestion with just being relaxed and good company."

Thanks fella and glad the feed shed any suggestions or thoughts

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