I (Jack) am a massive giver. On Saturday, Alice said "it's all about you tonight" and did not allow me to do anything at all to her.
It was worse torture than any BDSM I've received!
I don't think that I'm particularly virtuous for being such a giver. For all I know, it's rooted in a selfish need to be perceived as a skilled pleasurer. However, I do think I'm probably a bit unbalanced by how much I would choose giving over receiving every time!
What about you? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I’m going to risk sounding like a schmuck and say I like a balance of both… but I am going to temper that too.
Like you my own pleasure really stems from giving in the first place. So I’d rather have my partner be having a great time and climaxing, which will in turn (not exclusively) free me to have mine |
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I much prefer giving x But give me a nice sensual slow massage and im yours to do with as you please lol
With a new partner(s) i find it very hard to relax and totally give myself up to the other person(s) im always thinking i should be doing something back to them or they will get bored and then the performance/body issues anxiety kicks in.... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I much prefer giving x But give me a nice sensual slow massage and im yours to do with as you please lol
With a new partner(s) i find it very hard to relax and totally give myself up to the other person(s) im always thinking i should be doing something back to them or they will get bored and then the performance/body issues anxiety kicks in.... "
I think I get that too… feeling almost like I don’t deserve to be given all the attention, and why would someone do that. A compulsion to make it not about me kicks in |
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"I much prefer giving x But give me a nice sensual slow massage and im yours to do with as you please lol
With a new partner(s) i find it very hard to relax and totally give myself up to the other person(s) im always thinking i should be doing something back to them or they will get bored and then the performance/body issues anxiety kicks in....
I think I get that too… feeling almost like I don’t deserve to be given all the attention, and why would someone do that. A compulsion to make it not about me kicks in"
This too x |
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By *ongueTwistererMan
over a year ago
telford/ shrewsbury/ bridgnorth/ wolverhampton |
I totally understand where you're coming from. And for me it would feel almost like torture not being able to do the pleasers side of things you love to do so much. Don't get me wrong everyone likes the attention but part of the fun is pleasuring your partner and seeing how far you can push the bar. |
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
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Give. I feel a bit awkward being the focus of someone's attention for too long. Find it more arousing to see another person aroused. Actually, I do sometimes like receiving. Not just sometimes, that sounds like it's a chore for me. If someone is fingering me they could do that for hours and I wouldn't get bored. |
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Got to be both. Giving his a massive turn on. The sight, the touch, the feeling, the sensation, the taste, the sounds. For ladies who get self conscious, really don’t. Men love to give no matter any hang ups you may have. Enjoy the pleasure as we do. Receiving is amazing too, if it’s done right. Only a handful of ladies have ever been able to make me cum. Their grip is usually too soft. Grab it ladies…hard. |
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"Give. I feel a bit awkward being the focus of someone's attention for too long. Find it more arousing to see another person aroused..."
I too think I'm naturally a pleaser, I like to see who I'm with happy. It is arousing seeing the other person aroused - with the right person, this becomes an upward spiral, as they respond to my arousal.
A few years ago I was in a relationship with another strong pleaser, somehow we managed not to clash. I learnt (maybe we both learnt) to relax and enjoy, and allow that arousal-spiral to kick in.
Oddly one of my biggest fantasies remains to be with a woman who knows what she wants and takes the lead. |
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I'd have to say both, there's times I want to play with the Mr and won't allow him to touch me, I do enjoy that just making it all about him, then there's times he'll do the same.
Good balance for me. |
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