FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > White Men vs Black Men
White Men vs Black Men
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"To be absolutely honest, I’m convinced that 90% of the people on fab ignore anything written on a profile. " In these cases they’re not ignoring it though, they’re saying that they compete. | |||
"Don’t talk to them its the only way sadly you don’t owe them a minute of your time " I’m not looking for ways to avoid them, I’m just looking to understand why it keeps happening | |||
"Don’t talk to them its the only way sadly you don’t owe them a minute of your time I’m not looking for ways to avoid them, I’m just looking to understand why it keeps happening " Oh right well there’s a lot of reasons for that Some of them want to be the exception as it makes their ego tick.Especially with words like compete as you say that indicates they’ve bought into the whole you know. | |||
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"To be absolutely honest, I’m convinced that 90% of the people on fab ignore anything written on a profile. In these cases they’re not ignoring it though, they’re saying that they compete. " I suspect that if they lack the common sense to understand what you’ve said though, then you’re probably not dealing with the sharpest tools in the shed. I imagine that it’s a combo of people taking a punt (you miss 100% of the shots you don’t take and so on) and something of an ego at work. Or people read something and think ‘nah, she doesn’t mean that about me’. Never underestimate people’s ability to ignore what you’re asking for though! | |||
"Most not all men don’t read profiles just looking for a chance reply. That’s why I mostly know if guy have reed my profile he will put right thing in subject line but mostly even who read profile still chance it when I say I prefer the same height or taller lol " These guys are reading it though, and are telling me they’re think they’re equal to a black men or are backing themselves. How can you back yourself from white to black?! 
And don’t get me started on the height thing  | |||
"Don’t talk to them its the only way sadly you don’t owe them a minute of your time I’m not looking for ways to avoid them, I’m just looking to understand why it keeps happening Oh right well there’s a lot of reasons for that Some of them want to be the exception as it makes their ego tick.Especially with words like compete as you say that indicates they’ve bought into the whole you know. " I believe that is probably the reason why in my opinion I’m likely(definitely) very wrong. | |||
"To be absolutely honest, I’m convinced that 90% of the people on fab ignore anything written on a profile. In these cases they’re not ignoring it though, they’re saying that they compete. I suspect that if they lack the common sense to understand what you’ve said though, then you’re probably not dealing with the sharpest tools in the shed. I imagine that it’s a combo of people taking a punt (you miss 100% of the shots you don’t take and so on) and something of an ego at work. Or people read something and think ‘nah, she doesn’t mean that about me’. Never underestimate people’s ability to ignore what you’re asking for though!" I find it fascinating. Don’t understand it at all. | |||
"To be absolutely honest, I’m convinced that 90% of the people on fab ignore anything written on a profile. In these cases they’re not ignoring it though, they’re saying that they compete. I suspect that if they lack the common sense to understand what you’ve said though, then you’re probably not dealing with the sharpest tools in the shed. I imagine that it’s a combo of people taking a punt (you miss 100% of the shots you don’t take and so on) and something of an ego at work. Or people read something and think ‘nah, she doesn’t mean that about me’. Never underestimate people’s ability to ignore what you’re asking for though! I find it fascinating. Don’t understand it at all. " Probably because it costs practically zero time or effort to send a message, so they think 'why the fuck not, sure who knows what will happen'. I doubt theres anything deeper than that behind it | |||
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"Image a filter picking between white or black "Yeah but how many folks would put themselves as black just to harass folks? | |||
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"Image a filter picking between white or black
Yeah but how many folks would put themselves as black just to harass folks?"Maybe same amount that already created a fake account | |||
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"Both in my Fab life and in my real life I meet/date black men. I find dark skin attractive, it’s not a fetish, I just like dark skin, I think it’s pretty. That’s it. My profile makes clear that I’m only looking for black men, but I regularly get messages from white men. At first I assumed they hadn’t read the profile, but some I’ve challenged on why they’ve contacted me, say that they know I’m only into black men but that they can compete. Some say they just wonder if I’d make an exception for them, often they start the message with ‘I know I’m not black but’. One guy said he would always back himself?! I can’t figure this mentality out at all. Can anyone help me understand? If I saw a profile and it said the guy was looking for petite blondes, I as a large brunette, wouldn’t dream of getting in touch. I don’t get it at all. Any ideas?" I think your thread is titled incorrectly, and should be headed “Why don’t people read profiles?” or similar. The ‘White men v black men’ could have gone anywhere….. If you put “Only interested in tall, strong black men” as your profile header, more white guys would leave you alone I reckon. I wouldn’t look at your profile, and was slightly annoyed I had to read halfway through your profile text to get to that line. Your header “Pet hate; people who don’t read profiles” only invites men to read your profile….. | |||
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"Alot of Chancers on here too. They see a single fem online and send that pathetic message, totally bypassing the profile bio" | |||
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"Both in my Fab life and in my real life I meet/date black men. I find dark skin attractive, it’s not a fetish, I just like dark skin, I think it’s pretty. That’s it. My profile makes clear that I’m only looking for black men, but I regularly get messages from white men. At first I assumed they hadn’t read the profile, but some I’ve challenged on why they’ve contacted me, say that they know I’m only into black men but that they can compete. Some say they just wonder if I’d make an exception for them, often they start the message with ‘I know I’m not black but’. One guy said he would always back himself?! I can’t figure this mentality out at all. Can anyone help me understand? If I saw a profile and it said the guy was looking for petite blondes, I as a large brunette, wouldn’t dream of getting in touch. I don’t get it at all. Any ideas?" Entitlement? In any case, ignore.  | |||
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"To be absolutely honest, I’m convinced that 90% of the people on fab ignore anything written on a profile. " Bingo. Dosent matter what's written on here, what you state your preferences are or even what you are looking for, plenty ignore it as if they are a magic exception. Just makes it easier to filter out certain accounts really... | |||
"Both in my Fab life and in my real life I meet/date black men. I find dark skin attractive, it’s not a fetish, I just like dark skin, I think it’s pretty. That’s it. My profile makes clear that I’m only looking for black men, but I regularly get messages from white men. At first I assumed they hadn’t read the profile, but some I’ve challenged on why they’ve contacted me, say that they know I’m only into black men but that they can compete. Some say they just wonder if I’d make an exception for them, often they start the message with ‘I know I’m not black but’. One guy said he would always back himself?! I can’t figure this mentality out at all. Can anyone help me understand? If I saw a profile and it said the guy was looking for petite blondes, I as a large brunette, wouldn’t dream of getting in touch. I don’t get it at all. Any ideas? I think your thread is titled incorrectly, and should be headed “Why don’t people read profiles?” or similar. The ‘White men v black men’ could have gone anywhere….. If you put “Only interested in tall, strong black men” as your profile header, more white guys would leave you alone I reckon. I wouldn’t look at your profile, and was slightly annoyed I had to read halfway through your profile text to get to that line. Your header “Pet hate; people who don’t read profiles” only invites men to read your profile….." Did you actually read my post though? I haven’t titled it ‘why don’t people read profiles’ because that’s not what this is about. These men ARE reading my profile but are contacting me to tell me that as white men they can compete with a black man. This post is because I don’t understand what that even means. Trust me, I’ve had all sorts as my profile header before. It makes no difference. If it’s says ‘Black men only’ my inbox will still be full of white men. | |||
"My preference is Asian and Mediterranean men but I don’t put it on my profile anymore as it attracts hate messages It’s like we’re not allowed a preference (though men do it all of the time) and we should spread our legs for any man who tells us to " I find it so odd that strangers get so upset if your preference doesn’t include them. | |||
"This is a white men thing or a black men thing it's just men in general I get it all the time "I know you said xyz on your profile but I thought it was give it a shot anyway" And then they get pissy and abusive when you point out that they're not what you're looking for I've had this from all races of men so let's not try and make out that it's only 1 specific race who does this." I’m not making out it’s only 1 race, just sharing my experience that the messages I’ve had saying that they can compete with black men have been from white men. | |||
"I think it’s an entitlement thing. As a cishet white guy, they’re just used to everything being built for them in society so they’ll just override any barrier being put in front of them as usually there’s none! " You could be right. | |||
"Some of us do read profiles. I sometimes think there should be something like a wink but ‘likes profile’ aka don’t want to chat or hit on you but just saying nice profile. Anyway I don’t know what black guys are like over white guys or even just me, but preference is preference even if just that you like their colour which is perfectly fine. Why you get attempts is most likely the challenge and thrill of trying to get someone. Like back in the clubs where they had bands red - taken, orange - flexible, green - single. guys and girls would be interested in those in red and amber bands! As it’s the challenge. Not sure if you can block messages by race on here like you can for gender or age?" No, unfortunately you can’t. It would be a massive time saver if you could. | |||
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"OP, It's not personal to you, or your terms. We get the same, I know you're profile states straight but .... I know I'm out of your age range but .... I know you're not looking but .... I know this but .... I know that but .... There are several reasons, but it all comes down to one thing in general, they've found you appealing enough to reach out with hope, regardless what you're profile states. As polite as it may be, you don't have to converse with those that message, you can delete and block. Saying they compete, I think that believe you're buying into the BBC. " Yeah I think it’s that actually. I can’t see any other reason to mention competing. Isn’t it a strange way to approach finding a match on here. Why would seek out the people who are telling you that they don’t want you? That just makes for a miserable Fab experience. | |||
"OP, It's not personal to you, or your terms. We get the same, I know you're profile states straight but .... I know I'm out of your age range but .... I know you're not looking but .... I know this but .... I know that but .... There are several reasons, but it all comes down to one thing in general, they've found you appealing enough to reach out with hope, regardless what you're profile states. As polite as it may be, you don't have to converse with those that message, you can delete and block. Saying they compete, I think that believe you're buying into the BBC. Yeah I think it’s that actually. I can’t see any other reason to mention competing. Isn’t it a strange way to approach finding a match on here. Why would seek out the people who are telling you that they don’t want you? That just makes for a miserable Fab experience. " Because Women (compatible) here are hard to find and the most desired. It's as simple as that really. Maybe, as mentioned above, state it in your header, and/or begin your profile with what you seek. Delete and block, although frowned upon by some it's acceptable and states so in the site rules. | |||
"OP, It's not personal to you, or your terms. We get the same, I know you're profile states straight but .... I know I'm out of your age range but .... I know you're not looking but .... I know this but .... I know that but .... There are several reasons, but it all comes down to one thing in general, they've found you appealing enough to reach out with hope, regardless what you're profile states. As polite as it may be, you don't have to converse with those that message, you can delete and block. Saying they compete, I think that believe you're buying into the BBC. Yeah I think it’s that actually. I can’t see any other reason to mention competing. Isn’t it a strange way to approach finding a match on here. Why would seek out the people who are telling you that they don’t want you? That just makes for a miserable Fab experience. Because Women (compatible) here are hard to find and the most desired. It's as simple as that really. Maybe, as mentioned above, state it in your header, and/or begin your profile with what you seek. Delete and block, although frowned upon by some it's acceptable and states so in the site rules. " I do delete and block. It’s in my profile text that I’ll do it, too. My block list is enormous. I’ve tried all combinations of profile header and text over the years. It makes zero difference to what kinds of messages I get, trust me. | |||
"OP, It's not personal to you, or your terms. We get the same, I know you're profile states straight but .... I know I'm out of your age range but .... I know you're not looking but .... I know this but .... I know that but .... There are several reasons, but it all comes down to one thing in general, they've found you appealing enough to reach out with hope, regardless what you're profile states. As polite as it may be, you don't have to converse with those that message, you can delete and block. Saying they compete, I think that believe you're buying into the BBC. Yeah I think it’s that actually. I can’t see any other reason to mention competing. Isn’t it a strange way to approach finding a match on here. Why would seek out the people who are telling you that they don’t want you? That just makes for a miserable Fab experience. Because Women (compatible) here are hard to find and the most desired. It's as simple as that really. Maybe, as mentioned above, state it in your header, and/or begin your profile with what you seek. Delete and block, although frowned upon by some it's acceptable and states so in the site rules. I do delete and block. It’s in my profile text that I’ll do it, too. My block list is enormous. I’ve tried all combinations of profile header and text over the years. It makes zero difference to what kinds of messages I get, trust me. " Oh I'm aware, though try to set ourselves up the best we can. At the moment, our profile is very short and to the point that were not looking, our header states that, and we also have it mentioned in a picture, plus we place it in our status, often. Problem is, many people log in here when they have the horn and looking for immediate release, I believe, and so they're often not thinking with their brains. | |||
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Aka simple minded folk. | |||
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"I’ve had a private reply that suggests that these men offering to compete are likely talking about penis size and assuming that the only reason I like black men is because I think they all have a large penis. I suppose that’s the first explanation that makes sense in terms of competition. I often get messages from white men attaching a picture of their penis, saying they’re ‘built like a black man’ Maybe the others are just being more subtle about it, but that’s what they mean " Yeah that makes perfect sense,thats most likely the reason for most of the messages like that. Just simple ego boosting and the joy of "turning" someone. | |||
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"For some people the profile is out of date and possibly needs updating.. Or is accurate at the time it us written, but women have been known to change their minds. Its not often the final destination but the point of the journey they are on when it's written. " So you ignore it? | |||
"Its in mans nature to compete its all down to genetics and hormones, men have been competing to spread their own genes since the dawn of time, dont tke t to heart dont engage with them, just block and move on." I think this best sums it up   | |||
"Don’t talk to them its the only way sadly you don’t owe them a minute of your time I’m not looking for ways to avoid them, I’m just looking to understand why it keeps happening " People fancy their chances. That simple, they hope you’ll change your specified and unbending rules. I’m easy, I don’t have your problem. | |||
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"Both in my Fab life and in my real life I meet/date black men. I find dark skin attractive, it’s not a fetish, I just like dark skin, I think it’s pretty. That’s it. My profile makes clear that I’m only looking for black men, but I regularly get messages from white men. At first I assumed they hadn’t read the profile, but some I’ve challenged on why they’ve contacted me, say that they know I’m only into black men but that they can compete. Some say they just wonder if I’d make an exception for them, often they start the message with ‘I know I’m not black but’. One guy said he would always back himself?! I can’t figure this mentality out at all. Can anyone help me understand? If I saw a profile and it said the guy was looking for petite blondes, I as a large brunette, wouldn’t dream of getting in touch. I don’t get it at all. Any ideas?" Yawwwn | |||
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"Both in my Fab life and in my real life I meet/date black men. I find dark skin attractive, it’s not a fetish, I just like dark skin, I think it’s pretty. That’s it. My profile makes clear that I’m only looking for black men, but I regularly get messages from white men. At first I assumed they hadn’t read the profile, but some I’ve challenged on why they’ve contacted me, say that they know I’m only into black men but that they can compete. Some say they just wonder if I’d make an exception for them, often they start the message with ‘I know I’m not black but’. One guy said he would always back himself?! I can’t figure this mentality out at all. Can anyone help me understand? If I saw a profile and it said the guy was looking for petite blondes, I as a large brunette, wouldn’t dream of getting in touch. I don’t get it at all. Any ideas?" I'm a firm believer in dont ask don't get. So no harm done if guys take a chance. The worst outcome they can expect is a firm No | |||
"To be absolutely honest, I’m convinced that 90% of the people on fab ignore anything written on a profile. " I’m glad I’m in the 10% x | |||
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" Yawwwn " Outdoing yourself with that contribution, dev. | |||
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"For some people the profile is out of date and possibly needs updating.. Or is accurate at the time it us written, but women have been known to change their minds. Its not often the final destination but the point of the journey they are on when it's written. So you ignore it?" You'd have an argument in a phone box. No. Where did I say ignore it.? | |||
"For some people the profile is out of date and possibly needs updating.. Or is accurate at the time it us written, but women have been known to change their minds. Its not often the final destination but the point of the journey they are on when it's written. So you ignore it? You'd have an argument in a phone box. No. Where did I say ignore it.? " It depends what the phone box had said. You justified ignoring profile text incase it hadn’t been updated. | |||
"So it’s just white men who don’t read profiles ? Why would you put a title that’s putting race against each other ? " It’s not about reading profiles. I’m getting messages from white men saying that they can compete with black men. They’re making it some kind of contest and I don’t understand why. | |||
"For some people the profile is out of date and possibly needs updating.. Or is accurate at the time it us written, but women have been known to change their minds. Its not often the final destination but the point of the journey they are on when it's written. So you ignore it? You'd have an argument in a phone box. No. Where did I say ignore it.? It depends what the phone box had said. You justified ignoring profile text incase it hadn’t been updated." No. I didn't. I didn't mention ignoring anything. | |||
"For some people the profile is out of date and possibly needs updating.. Or is accurate at the time it us written, but women have been known to change their minds. Its not often the final destination but the point of the journey they are on when it's written. So you ignore it? You'd have an argument in a phone box. No. Where did I say ignore it.? It depends what the phone box had said. You justified ignoring profile text incase it hadn’t been updated. No. I didn't. I didn't mention ignoring anything. " The thread is about people ignoring what is written on a bio and you’re reply above suggests a reason for that. Or am I missing something? | |||
"It just sounds like the guys who are saying they can compete have a size/race complex. "My sticks better than his stick" kind of thing. They can't understand that some people do not prefer them. I hate to think it's about racism, but it probably is. " I think you’re probably right. | |||
"For some people the profile is out of date and possibly needs updating.. Or is accurate at the time it us written, but women have been known to change their minds. Its not often the final destination but the point of the journey they are on when it's written. So you ignore it? You'd have an argument in a phone box. No. Where did I say ignore it.? " I read it too like you’d disregard it incase it was out of date. | |||
