FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > The elusive "single' lady. What can we do better?
The elusive "single' lady. What can we do better?
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As a couple who enjoys the whole "hot husband" thing, fully involved threesomes and female only meets (wife, not me) we really need to know what we are doing wrong.
I'm not going use that mythical animal term (for several reasons) and we know its a rare thing but there is rare and then there is RARE.
We've had "some" sucess over the years. We do the social events, we do clubs and we occasionaly meet couples who play seperatly like ourselves so we have met the female half but we have never had any luck whatsoever directly on Fab.
Most conversations with single women just end for whatever reason or they want to invite their fwb along (which isnt our thing or what we where looking for to begin
With).
We are simply looking for a bi lady who would like to join us both or individually (either of us) on a regular basis on equal terms and see where it goes (not as a treat or to live out a fantasy or whatever).
That's what we would like but have never found, at least as a regular thing (and yes, i know there are many couples who would like that as well). Again we know this is rare but something is amiss on here. We do message and get messages from single women but they get about 4 or 5 messages in then just vanish. Not blocked Just no more messages.I don't think I'm saying anything untoward. I know how to hold a conversation. Certainly we have no issues in face to face conversations anyway. We are a very sociable freindly pair (and naughty but only when its appropriate lol).
Are we coming on too strong? That seems doubtful as we always keep mesaages respectful and talk to people how we wish to be spoken to...and no couple has ever complained). Is it a confidence thing? Don't feel lacking there. Is it we are just getting lost in the noise of all.the other messages these women are getting? Possible. Do ladies think we want something exclusive? Well we just want regular, not exclusive though things change, we k kw that. Or is because we are open to a poly relationship "if" it happens naturally? That's just us being honest rather than actively looking for it. I mean...there's no point denying it. We like nights that play out like a date for socials and we recognise it could become proper dating. We know we are not against it "if" it happens naturally..that's all I'm saying.
We've acctually thought about a poly dating site but think that might be too much too fast and to be honest, aside from not being sure about the romantic aspect, we are not even sure where to start with it.
We've also looked into the hotwife couple and cuckold couple thing but in their cases (or at least locally) they all seem to just want a single male to join them.
We really dont want the above to sound like we are moaning because we are not. Rather we feel a little lost. We've tried every possible thing we can think of over the last 6 or 7 years (taking lockdown into account). We understand the rarity of funding such a lady, the factors it boils down to (I.e being attracted to us both, having similar interests, getting in socially etc) we just find it impossible to get anywhere.
Should we give up and stick to clubs (which defeates the more intimate meet type we are looking for), do we need to up our fab game or are we missing something obvious?
Any advice welcome.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"As a couple who enjoys the whole "hot husband" thing, fully involved threesomes and female only meets (wife, not me) we really need to know what we are doing wrong.
I'm not going use that mythical animal term (for several reasons) and we know its a rare thing but there is rare and then there is RARE.
We've had "some" sucess over the years. We do the social events, we do clubs and we occasionaly meet couples who play seperatly like ourselves so we have met the female half but we have never had any luck whatsoever directly on Fab.
Most conversations with single women just end for whatever reason or they want to invite their fwb along (which isnt our thing or what we where looking for to begin
With).
We are simply looking for a bi lady who would like to join us both or individually (either of us) on a regular basis on equal terms and see where it goes (not as a treat or to live out a fantasy or whatever).
That's what we would like but have never found, at least as a regular thing (and yes, i know there are many couples who would like that as well). Again we know this is rare but something is amiss on here. We do message and get messages from single women but they get about 4 or 5 messages in then just vanish. Not blocked Just no more messages.I don't think I'm saying anything untoward. I know how to hold a conversation. Certainly we have no issues in face to face conversations anyway. We are a very sociable freindly pair (and naughty but only when its appropriate lol).
Are we coming on too strong? That seems doubtful as we always keep mesaages respectful and talk to people how we wish to be spoken to...and no couple has ever complained). Is it a confidence thing? Don't feel lacking there. Is it we are just getting lost in the noise of all.the other messages these women are getting? Possible. Do ladies think we want something exclusive? Well we just want regular, not exclusive though things change, we k kw that. Or is because we are open to a poly relationship "if" it happens naturally? That's just us being honest rather than actively looking for it. I mean...there's no point denying it. We like nights that play out like a date for socials and we recognise it could become proper dating. We know we are not against it "if" it happens naturally..that's all I'm saying.
We've acctually thought about a poly dating site but think that might be too much too fast and to be honest, aside from not being sure about the romantic aspect, we are not even sure where to start with it.
We've also looked into the hotwife couple and cuckold couple thing but in their cases (or at least locally) they all seem to just want a single male to join them.
We really dont want the above to sound like we are moaning because we are not. Rather we feel a little lost. We've tried every possible thing we can think of over the last 6 or 7 years (taking lockdown into account). We understand the rarity of funding such a lady, the factors it boils down to (I.e being attracted to us both, having similar interests, getting in socially etc) we just find it impossible to get anywhere.
Should we give up and stick to clubs (which defeates the more intimate meet type we are looking for), do we need to up our fab game or are we missing something obvious?
Any advice welcome.
"
Does the club you go to do social group meets? Maybe suggest that if they don't already. Start a private social media group like Kik and get to know people who you already know have taken the plunge into actually meeting. |
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" Does the club you go to do social group meets? Maybe suggest that if they don't already. Start a private social media group like Kik and get to know people who you already know have taken the plunge into actually meeting."
To be honest there's a limit to the social media stuff for us. There has been groups yes but mostly to do with social events in the region (and many of those are the same people from the club anyway). They usually fizzle put after the event happens and people leave. To be honest that's also the problem. There is only so much you can say via texting. We can do that all day long but never goes anywhere...which is the problem. |
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I have no experience of this from either side so what I'm about to say might be rubbish.
Could it be that there's nothing you can do better, it's just how it is? You say yourself that single women who want to meet in the way you do are a rarity. Maybe that's your answer, there just aren't that many of them.
I wonder also if some of this minority group find the fantasy better than the reality hence the drop off in messaging and also making them an even smaller group. |
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"Absolutely with you on this.
Same issue with the same outcome. Every time. I appreciate how daunting it must be for a lone female to put herself out there on a wire though. "
Totally. I do get that. Do the clubs, socials and (in the past, parties) and I get it.
We have met more than a few women in our time who meet couples at clubs but they where already attending with that couple so..you know, not really gonna interfere there. And like I said, we have had luck just never on fab. It's also fair to say its a bit disheartening when you meet a lady at a club or social, you all click just to find we live 100 miles apart (the joys of living in the north east for that one).... |
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"I have no experience of this from either side so what I'm about to say might be rubbish.
Could it be that there's nothing you can do better, it's just how it is? You say yourself that single women who want to meet in the way you do are a rarity. Maybe that's your answer, there just aren't that many of them.
I wonder also if some of this minority group find the fantasy better than the reality hence the drop off in messaging and also making them an even smaller group."
Either that, or they got a better offer? Sorry if that sounds harsh, but that group of mythical animals aren’t short of options…..
OP; just keep trying, you never know who is around the next corner   |
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Either that, or they got a better offer? Sorry if that sounds harsh, but that group of mythical animals aren’t short of options…..
OP; just keep trying, you never know who is around the next corner "
Nah its not harsh. It's true. We know that they get swamped with offeres and if they see people.who they think are a better fit for them then that's what they are going to go with. Taking that into account. |
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We've found a lot of this to be true as well, to the extent that we've all but given up trying to find single women on here....it's been very much like you've mentioned, on the rare occasion we have had a chat with a woman, it's dried up very quickly/become obvious that they're a fake 
In over a year and a half, we've managed one social with a lady, it was all set to progress to more on the next meet but out of the blue she disappeared from our group chat and left fab without a word....ho hum 
Alyson may rarely reach out to an appealing profile but we don't expect it to go anywhere for pretty much the reasons the OP has mentioned, as someone else has suggested, this is most likely just the way it is unfortunately
Just one suggestion, we have set up a Bumble profile, it doesn't allow you to have a couples profile but we have pics of us both on there and mention that we're experienced swingers looking for a lady friend...only a couple of chats so far but it is another possible avenue to look into....there may very well be women on there tempted by this lifestyle who haven't heard of Fab or really given it too much thought?
Just a suggestion, hope it works out for you guys  |
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"I prefer foursomes. Threesomes would never be 'regular' for me. Not that I play much. You might find women in general prefer adhoc depending on their mood. "
That's a fair comment.
Just seems really odd on fab we do get interest and then it just fizzles out a few messages in. Of course these are mostly "photo verified" or "one single meet" verfied accounts so you never know if they are legitimate or just fantasists. |
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I've only once managed to find a threesome on here, but it all fell apart when the couple split up.
I've had far more success finding that dynamic on hookup sites.
OP I can't comment on how things go for you of why they fade away, but if it's any help I can tell you what I look for:
Photos of both - the majority of couples on here have heaps of photos of the female half and maybe one dick pick for the man!
Conversation with both - genuine conversation rather than leaping straight into sex talk or wank chat
All looking for mutual pleasure rather than viewing me as some sort of sex toy or to put on a show
Reasonable availability - I'm very happy to travel but often there are childcare issues/shift work etc that means we struggle to find suitable times to meet up for more than the briefest of quickies and I don't want to drive three hours for 20 minutes of pleasure and then drive three hours home!
A couple whose relationship is solid - I don't want drama but I'm often approached by couples who are trying to save their relationships by introducing another woman. It's a huge red flag for me and I'll back right off.
Is it possible that the issue might be the three dynamics you're looking for OP? I'd play with a couple, I'd play with a solo man but probably wouldn't play solo with a woman. Would you consider a woman who only wanted to meet you as a couple for example? |
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We have had much more success just being open in normal life than finding single women on here (they do exist though)
We’ve also met 1 from twitter after building a friendship. A few meets have been at clubs too as they can see you in person and feel safe in your company even if they contact you afterwards like this particular lady did.
Also don’t rule out couples where the guy doesn’t play this can be an enjoyable scenario too.
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By *essaWoman
over a year ago
Edinburgh |
For what it’s worth it’s a really tricky dynamic to set up! I get LOTS of messages from couples. About 90% I look at the profile and it’s a no for whatever reason. If we start chatting then often I find it’s really for the husband and wife’s not massively into it. That’s not nice, I’m out of there. Then it’s photo swapping and if you don’t fancy them both, it’s a no. So it’s tricky even at that stage. I also hate feeling like a titillating toy for a couple. I like to feel that both parties are solid in their relationship and equally wanting to pursue this. Then practical stuff that we all deal with makes actually hooking up really hard. I don’t know if any of that is helpful but don’t give up, we are out there…  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If we lived closer, I'd be messaging you asking to meet you both. I've met with a few bi F couples since being on here. One of them, we're planning a second meet up for next month.
We are out there, but it's not easy. To be with a couple; for me, I need to have some attraction to both the male and female to see them. |
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"As a couple who enjoys the whole "hot husband" thing, fully involved threesomes and female only meets (wife, not me) we really need to know what we are doing wrong.
I'm not going use that mythical animal term (for several reasons) and we know its a rare thing but there is rare and then there is RARE.
We've had "some" sucess over the years. We do the social events, we do clubs and we occasionaly meet couples who play seperatly like ourselves so we have met the female half but we have never had any luck whatsoever directly on Fab.
Most conversations with single women just end for whatever reason or they want to invite their fwb along (which isnt our thing or what we where looking for to begin
With).
We are simply looking for a bi lady who would like to join us both or individually (either of us) on a regular basis on equal terms and see where it goes (not as a treat or to live out a fantasy or whatever).
That's what we would like but have never found, at least as a regular thing (and yes, i know there are many couples who would like that as well). Again we know this is rare but something is amiss on here. We do message and get messages from single women but they get about 4 or 5 messages in then just vanish. Not blocked Just no more messages.I don't think I'm saying anything untoward. I know how to hold a conversation. Certainly we have no issues in face to face conversations anyway. We are a very sociable freindly pair (and naughty but only when its appropriate lol).
Are we coming on too strong? That seems doubtful as we always keep mesaages respectful and talk to people how we wish to be spoken to...and no couple has ever complained). Is it a confidence thing? Don't feel lacking there. Is it we are just getting lost in the noise of all.the other messages these women are getting? Possible. Do ladies think we want something exclusive? Well we just want regular, not exclusive though things change, we k kw that. Or is because we are open to a poly relationship "if" it happens naturally? That's just us being honest rather than actively looking for it. I mean...there's no point denying it. We like nights that play out like a date for socials and we recognise it could become proper dating. We know we are not against it "if" it happens naturally..that's all I'm saying.
We've acctually thought about a poly dating site but think that might be too much too fast and to be honest, aside from not being sure about the romantic aspect, we are not even sure where to start with it.
We've also looked into the hotwife couple and cuckold couple thing but in their cases (or at least locally) they all seem to just want a single male to join them.
We really dont want the above to sound like we are moaning because we are not. Rather we feel a little lost. We've tried every possible thing we can think of over the last 6 or 7 years (taking lockdown into account). We understand the rarity of funding such a lady, the factors it boils down to (I.e being attracted to us both, having similar interests, getting in socially etc) we just find it impossible to get anywhere.
Should we give up and stick to clubs (which defeates the more intimate meet type we are looking for), do we need to up our fab game or are we missing something obvious?
Any advice welcome.
"
We have had some luck in clubs but never managed to get a full FMF.
But we live in hope |
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So going by this thread (thank you ladies) there are ladies genuinly wanting to join couples when they dynamic is right for you (totally appreciate that bit). youre just all miles away from.us lol
We shall continue to live in hope then. |
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By *dwalu2Couple
over a year ago
Bristol |
"I have no experience of this from either side so what I'm about to say might be rubbish.
Could it be that there's nothing you can do better, it's just how it is? You say yourself that single women who want to meet in the way you do are a rarity. Maybe that's your answer, there just aren't that many of them.
I wonder also if some of this minority group find the fantasy better than the reality hence the drop off in messaging and also making them an even smaller group."
This sums it up very neatly - nothing more complicated to it than this in our view. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Like many have said, single bi females are inundated with choice on here. I only opened up my profile to MF couples yesterday but have already been inundated!
If it’s tapering off mid convo it could be that something you’ve said or alluded to they’ve found off putting or they may have just gotten a better offer or even just cold feet. I find meeting couples much more daunting than meeting single men for example. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I’ve had ffms as a couple and then as a single.
As a single I’ve found clubs best for meeting couples personally. It’s a safe environment and you know you’re not going to get messed around. A couple I’ve played regularly I met at a club and their dynamic suits my kink, so I saw them again.
It can be hard to keep up with your inbox as a single woman and occasionally i accidentally lose a conversation.but single men and couples also tail off conversations.
As for women wanting a threesome with their fwb, I think that’s fine (single women want threesomes with guys they know as well) as long as it’s bought up in the first or second message. I don’t like it when it’s bought up later on.
What makes me feel wanted by couples is a respectful approach, they’ve read the profile and I don’t feel like I’m an accessory to their sex life. I have no interest in dating a couple though so tend to avoid those who are looking for that.
This has probably been more explanatory than advice though sorry! I do think there’s an element of luck. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Like many have said, single bi females are inundated with choice on here. I only opened up my profile to MF couples yesterday but have already been inundated!
No wonder!  "
 |
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"Hot husbanding feels like I would just be a kink/sex toy for you guys.
I know its more unusual but I have friends into similar who have had more luck on poly friendly dating apps etc"
Well I can't tell you how to feel.about it but that's the furthest thing from the truth.
Hit husbanding and a 3sum are two seperate things for us.
We've never treated anyone like an object and never will either. Understand what you are saying and how a bit of text makes you feel but that's the furthest thing from the truth. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"As a couple who enjoys the whole "hot husband" thing, fully involved threesomes and female only meets (wife, not me) we really need to know what we are doing wrong.
I'm not going use that mythical animal term (for several reasons) and we know its a rare thing but there is rare and then there is RARE.
We've had "some" sucess over the years. We do the social events, we do clubs and we occasionaly meet couples who play seperatly like ourselves so we have met the female half but we have never had any luck whatsoever directly on Fab.
Most conversations with single women just end for whatever reason or they want to invite their fwb along (which isnt our thing or what we where looking for to begin
With).
We are simply looking for a bi lady who would like to join us both or individually (either of us) on a regular basis on equal terms and see where it goes (not as a treat or to live out a fantasy or whatever).
That's what we would like but have never found, at least as a regular thing (and yes, i know there are many couples who would like that as well). Again we know this is rare but something is amiss on here. We do message and get messages from single women but they get about 4 or 5 messages in then just vanish. Not blocked Just no more messages.I don't think I'm saying anything untoward. I know how to hold a conversation. Certainly we have no issues in face to face conversations anyway. We are a very sociable freindly pair (and naughty but only when its appropriate lol).
Are we coming on too strong? That seems doubtful as we always keep mesaages respectful and talk to people how we wish to be spoken to...and no couple has ever complained). Is it a confidence thing? Don't feel lacking there. Is it we are just getting lost in the noise of all.the other messages these women are getting? Possible. Do ladies think we want something exclusive? Well we just want regular, not exclusive though things change, we k kw that. Or is because we are open to a poly relationship "if" it happens naturally? That's just us being honest rather than actively looking for it. I mean...there's no point denying it. We like nights that play out like a date for socials and we recognise it could become proper dating. We know we are not against it "if" it happens naturally..that's all I'm saying.
We've acctually thought about a poly dating site but think that might be too much too fast and to be honest, aside from not being sure about the romantic aspect, we are not even sure where to start with it.
We've also looked into the hotwife couple and cuckold couple thing but in their cases (or at least locally) they all seem to just want a single male to join them.
We really dont want the above to sound like we are moaning because we are not. Rather we feel a little lost. We've tried every possible thing we can think of over the last 6 or 7 years (taking lockdown into account). We understand the rarity of funding such a lady, the factors it boils down to (I.e being attracted to us both, having similar interests, getting in socially etc) we just find it impossible to get anywhere.
Should we give up and stick to clubs (which defeates the more intimate meet type we are looking for), do we need to up our fab game or are we missing something obvious?
Any advice welcome.
"
Well written post x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don't really have much advice sorry haha, your profile is honest and you have clear pictures of you both. It is likely that the messages are getting lost it can be a real hassle trying to follow conversations when the amount of messages being sent is rather taxing. I think it really is an element of luck. I have to really feel the couple out as I have had some very awkward meets unfortunately where it is apparent that the couple in question have not discussed what can happen and cannot, so I am wary and after all I am single and meeting people off the internet I need to keep myself safe. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"As a couple who enjoys the whole "hot husband" thing, fully involved threesomes and female only meets (wife, not me) we really need to know what we are doing wrong.
I'm not going use that mythical animal term (for several reasons) and we know its a rare thing but there is rare and then there is RARE.
We've had "some" sucess over the years. We do the social events, we do clubs and we occasionaly meet couples who play seperatly like ourselves so we have met the female half but we have never had any luck whatsoever directly on Fab.
Most conversations with single women just end for whatever reason or they want to invite their fwb along (which isnt our thing or what we where looking for to begin
With).
We are simply looking for a bi lady who would like to join us both or individually (either of us) on a regular basis on equal terms and see where it goes (not as a treat or to live out a fantasy or whatever).
That's what we would like but have never found, at least as a regular thing (and yes, i know there are many couples who would like that as well). Again we know this is rare but something is amiss on here. We do message and get messages from single women but they get about 4 or 5 messages in then just vanish. Not blocked Just no more messages.I don't think I'm saying anything untoward. I know how to hold a conversation. Certainly we have no issues in face to face conversations anyway. We are a very sociable freindly pair (and naughty but only when its appropriate lol).
Are we coming on too strong? That seems doubtful as we always keep mesaages respectful and talk to people how we wish to be spoken to...and no couple has ever complained). Is it a confidence thing? Don't feel lacking there. Is it we are just getting lost in the noise of all.the other messages these women are getting? Possible. Do ladies think we want something exclusive? Well we just want regular, not exclusive though things change, we k kw that. Or is because we are open to a poly relationship "if" it happens naturally? That's just us being honest rather than actively looking for it. I mean...there's no point denying it. We like nights that play out like a date for socials and we recognise it could become proper dating. We know we are not against it "if" it happens naturally..that's all I'm saying.
We've acctually thought about a poly dating site but think that might be too much too fast and to be honest, aside from not being sure about the romantic aspect, we are not even sure where to start with it.
We've also looked into the hotwife couple and cuckold couple thing but in their cases (or at least locally) they all seem to just want a single male to join them.
We really dont want the above to sound like we are moaning because we are not. Rather we feel a little lost. We've tried every possible thing we can think of over the last 6 or 7 years (taking lockdown into account). We understand the rarity of funding such a lady, the factors it boils down to (I.e being attracted to us both, having similar interests, getting in socially etc) we just find it impossible to get anywhere.
Should we give up and stick to clubs (which defeates the more intimate meet type we are looking for), do we need to up our fab game or are we missing something obvious?
Any advice welcome.
You look a lovely sexy couple, do what makes you both happy and comfortable and stick to your guns, none of us are ever going to make everyone happy it's impossible
Just be you )
"
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"I don't really have much advice sorry haha, your profile is honest and you have clear pictures of you both. It is likely that the messages are getting lost it can be a real hassle trying to follow conversations when the amount of messages being sent is rather taxing. I think it really is an element of luck. I have to really feel the couple out as I have had some very awkward meets unfortunately where it is apparent that the couple in question have not discussed what can happen and cannot, so I am wary and after all I am single and meeting people off the internet I need to keep myself safe."
Totally.get what you are saying. Been around long enough to have met couples like that ourselves and its not good.
Like I said originally, we kinda get why it's so hard on here and the reasons why but even the club scene and socials are coming up blank as well...though mostly due to all the single ladies being taken by the single guys or other couples at those.
We are at the club again this weekend so who knows...maybe this week is the week... |
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By *ylvieMWoman
over a year ago
Aylesbury |
Thats fair. Thats just how it comes across for me.
Maybe I've just had really bad experiences with couples previously so im a bit more cynical.
In messages it puts me off if the couple tells me what they want and have the expectation of fulfilling their fantasies, there's no benefit in that to me personally as I'd want mutual satisfaction in that scenario.
Could it be there are boundaries you two have as a couple that potentially is off putting for example?
By which i mean it might be a good idea to see if the messaging has dropped off at the same point/around the same topic with the ladies you have been speaking to?
If there's a common denomination, may be worth a further discussion? |
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"Thats fair. Thats just how it comes across for me.
Maybe I've just had really bad experiences with couples previously so im a bit more cynical.
In messages it puts me off if the couple tells me what they want and have the expectation of fulfilling their fantasies, there's no benefit in that to me personally as I'd want mutual satisfaction in that scenario.
Could it be there are boundaries you two have as a couple that potentially is off putting for example?
By which i mean it might be a good idea to see if the messaging has dropped off at the same point/around the same topic with the ladies you have been speaking to?
If there's a common denomination, may be worth a further discussion?"
Acctually there isn't anything soesific.
We dont have rules or boundries beyond "safe sex" and a couple.of things we don't enjoy, we don't do the whole fantasy thing scenario just go with the flow of what everyone is into (same as we do on couple meets). Just want all parties to have fun. Don't do the whole dirty talk thing unless the other party starts it. We just talk to and treat people like equals. We don't even drop the whole "Do you want to meet" thing on women (couples yeah). Rather we just say if you would like to meet let us know so.the choice is theirs rather than us coming off like we are pestering them to meet.
If im honest, I really think it's just due to the number of messages some on here are juggling. They see something else they like and go with that instead. It's not like we get deleted or blocked so thay would say we have not said anything offensive. Its just a case of messages sit unread for ages or get read and never responded to..and nobody needs us messaging them again and again.
They'll just sit in our freinds list, see meet requests or.club nights or whatever then never say boo to us again.
Wish we knew why.. |
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By *icentiousCouple
over a year ago
Up on them there hills |
Odd we never have problems meeting single ladies.
Then again we don’t go looking for them.
There is something about focus of attention.
Remember a friend who was battling with cancer saying, ‘cancer is in the news everywhere, on the television, in newspapers, everywhere.’
She came through it and freely admits what she said wasn’t true, it was a focus that blurred her reality.
Perhaps, sometimes it’s good to focus on fun and not envisaged need.
Hey, we both love the ladies, we don’t need them, however we do love fun. |
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Maybe a more specialty site will yield more chances. The Fet**** named one perhaps …
As others said I think it’s just a minority you seek. I am in similar ship being a trans woman looking to primarily meet actual single women that like trans women. . Lots of talk but 95% goes nowhere for (insert reason ) |
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By *elkieWoman
over a year ago
Durham |
"Thats fair. Thats just how it comes across for me.
Maybe I've just had really bad experiences with couples previously so im a bit more cynical.
In messages it puts me off if the couple tells me what they want and have the expectation of fulfilling their fantasies, there's no benefit in that to me personally as I'd want mutual satisfaction in that scenario.
Could it be there are boundaries you two have as a couple that potentially is off putting for example?
By which i mean it might be a good idea to see if the messaging has dropped off at the same point/around the same topic with the ladies you have been speaking to?
If there's a common denomination, may be worth a further discussion?
Acctually there isn't anything soesific.
We dont have rules or boundries beyond "safe sex" and a couple.of things we don't enjoy, we don't do the whole fantasy thing scenario just go with the flow of what everyone is into (same as we do on couple meets). Just want all parties to have fun. Don't do the whole dirty talk thing unless the other party starts it. We just talk to and treat people like equals. We don't even drop the whole "Do you want to meet" thing on women (couples yeah). Rather we just say if you would like to meet let us know so.the choice is theirs rather than us coming off like we are pestering them to meet.
If im honest, I really think it's just due to the number of messages some on here are juggling. They see something else they like and go with that instead. It's not like we get deleted or blocked so thay would say we have not said anything offensive. Its just a case of messages sit unread for ages or get read and never responded to..and nobody needs us messaging them again and again.
They'll just sit in our freinds list, see meet requests or.club nights or whatever then never say boo to us again.
Wish we knew why.."
Oh, I’m one of these. The only time I’ve seen you at the club you were surrounded by people and I didn’t want to interrupt you. I figure we’ll meet at some point?
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By *elkieWoman
over a year ago
Durham |
Also? Actually, yes, given the time period, you should totally be checking in with everyone you haven’t fucked because of covid and having friendly conversations with them. Most of the single blokes on my maybe list drop me a line every few months just to keep in touch, if not more often?
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