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Message delete button
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By *ase4122 OP Man
over a year ago
Lancashire |
Anybody else feel like the use of the delete button on messages is a bit crass.
No matter how nice and polite a message I have sent to people, seeing that message deleted is like having a trap door opened from beneath. I get everyone isn't for everyone on here but a better way of letting someone down could be thought of Fab! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If it's a polite / respectful message we generally respond
Messages along the line of
Hey !!
What u up to?
Wanna meet?
or anything basically filthy
.... we delete. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Unfortunately the amount of messages I get means I can’t reply to everyone and often the ones I reply to saying no thanks results in abuse so why do I bother?!  |
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By *ase4122 OP Man
over a year ago
Lancashire |
"What would you rather, it to read no thanks or somethimg like that? I suppose its not unreasonable, but not really necessary.. "
As I said I think it's a crass way of letting someone know that you aren't interested or you are a bit busy. All my messages are nothing but polite and respectful. I wouldn't expect someone to just walk away from me if I initially approached then to chat to. That's the message that button gives, imo anyway |
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"Anybody else feel like the use of the delete button on messages is a bit crass.
No matter how nice and polite a message I have sent to people, seeing that message deleted is like having a trap door opened from beneath. I get everyone isn't for everyone on here but a better way of letting someone down could be thought of Fab!"
You can't let it bother you, you've got to take these things in stride.
I think it's important to remember nothing is certain. Even when you meet face to face there's still a chance the other person will change their mind and call things off.
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By *ase4122 OP Man
over a year ago
Lancashire |
"Anybody else feel like the use of the delete button on messages is a bit crass.
No matter how nice and polite a message I have sent to people, seeing that message deleted is like having a trap door opened from beneath. I get everyone isn't for everyone on here but a better way of letting someone down could be thought of Fab!
You can't let it bother you, you've got to take these things in stride.
I think it's important to remember nothing is certain. Even when you meet face to face there's still a chance the other person will change their mind and call things off.
"
 |
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By *riel13Woman
over a year ago
Northampton |
"Crass or efficient?
It's all about perception
true, it's effective way for women to get rid of alot of messages, however for the males it's fairly deflating seeing that line through"
Stay away from your sent messages folder... Infact, delete them from there as you send them! |
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By *ase4122 OP Man
over a year ago
Lancashire |
"Crass or efficient?
It's all about perception
true, it's effective way for women to get rid of alot of messages, however for the males it's fairly deflating seeing that line through
Stay away from your sent messages folder... Infact, delete them from there as you send them! "
That's a fair point, great advise |
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"Crass or efficient?
It's all about perception
true, it's effective way for women to get rid of alot of messages, however for the males it's fairly deflating seeing that line through"
You need a thick skin on here unfortunately. It's very hard for single guys, it's quite normal that their messages are deleted or unread. |
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"What would you rather, it to read no thanks or somethimg like that? I suppose its not unreasonable, but not really necessary..
As I said I think it's a crass way of letting someone know that you aren't interested or you are a bit busy. All my messages are nothing but polite and respectful. I wouldn't expect someone to just walk away from me if I initially approached then to chat to. That's the message that button gives, imo anyway"
Your expectations aren't coming across as polite or respectful to me |
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By *ase4122 OP Man
over a year ago
Lancashire |
"What would you rather, it to read no thanks or somethimg like that? I suppose its not unreasonable, but not really necessary..
As I said I think it's a crass way of letting someone know that you aren't interested or you are a bit busy. All my messages are nothing but polite and respectful. I wouldn't expect someone to just walk away from me if I initially approached then to chat to. That's the message that button gives, imo anyway
Your expectations aren't coming across as polite or respectful to me"
Oh right, my bad. Not sure what I've said has disrespected anyone or been rude. Everyone's allowed n opinion I suppose? |
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If people send a one word message and their profile is empty, it’s pretty thin what I can reply, so I delete.
If they are smokers and looking to meet, I delete as they’ve not read my profile.
If it’s overly rude I delete.
Don’t get what the problem is. If people haven’t read my profile and send me a message when they are clearly not what I’m looking for, why should I reply, as it only sets of ping pong mail or a torrent of abuse, then I have to block. My delete is a polite no thanks. I’ll block if it goes further.
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By *ase4122 OP Man
over a year ago
Lancashire |
"If people send a one word message and their profile is empty, it’s pretty thin what I can reply, so I delete.
If they are smokers and looking to meet, I delete as they’ve not read my profile.
If it’s overly rude I delete.
Don’t get what the problem is. If people haven’t read my profile and send me a message when they are clearly not what I’m looking for, why should I reply, as it only sets of ping pong mail or a torrent of abuse, then I have to block. My delete is a polite no thanks. I’ll block if it goes further.
"
I get exactly what you're saying and why you hit delete, however I always take time to read a profile before I contemplate a message and I defo won't be sending a crude message. I'm old enough and ugly enough to accept when someone isn't interested.i just wish the site had a better way of conveying this. |
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"What would you rather, it to read no thanks or somethimg like that? I suppose its not unreasonable, but not really necessary..
As I said I think it's a crass way of letting someone know that you aren't interested or you are a bit busy. All my messages are nothing but polite and respectful. I wouldn't expect someone to just walk away from me if I initially approached then to chat to. That's the message that button gives, imo anyway"
Ok so would you prefer things like sorry I find you unattractive or too old, too thin etc etc because that’s being honest. Would that make you feel better |
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By *ase4122 OP Man
over a year ago
Lancashire |
"What would you rather, it to read no thanks or somethimg like that? I suppose its not unreasonable, but not really necessary..
As I said I think it's a crass way of letting someone know that you aren't interested or you are a bit busy. All my messages are nothing but polite and respectful. I wouldn't expect someone to just walk away from me if I initially approached then to chat to. That's the message that button gives, imo anyway
Ok so would you prefer things like sorry I find you unattractive or too old, too thin etc etc because that’s being honest. Would that make you feel better"
A reply wouldn't go amiss. It doesn't have to go into specifics.
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"Anybody else feel like the use of the delete button on messages is a bit crass.
No matter how nice and polite a message I have sent to people, seeing that message deleted is like having a trap door opened from beneath. I get everyone isn't for everyone on here but a better way of letting someone down could be thought of Fab!"
Not me.
I don't check my sent messages though to know if they've been deleted.
If I don't get a reply, I either want that engaging for them or we just weren't a match. We keep moving. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Think of it this way, you're passing through town, somebody tries to converse with you to pull you into what they're there to sell.
You put your head down, turn away and walk past.
A delete is the online edition |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What would you rather, it to read no thanks or somethimg like that? I suppose its not unreasonable, but not really necessary..
As I said I think it's a crass way of letting someone know that you aren't interested or you are a bit busy. All my messages are nothing but polite and respectful. I wouldn't expect someone to just walk away from me if I initially approached then to chat to. That's the message that button gives, imo anyway
Ok so would you prefer things like sorry I find you unattractive or too old, too thin etc etc because that’s being honest. Would that make you feel better
A reply wouldn't go amiss. It doesn't have to go into specifics.
"
Replying allows a user to bypass any future filters you put on your profile. A deleted message is the same outcome as a reply saying no in the grand scheme of things. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Anybody else feel like the use of the delete button on messages is a bit crass.
No matter how nice and polite a message I have sent to people, seeing that message deleted is like having a trap door opened from beneath. I get everyone isn't for everyone on here but a better way of letting someone down could be thought of Fab!"
Would you feel any better? if each one instead replied with .........
Thank You, apologies but you're not what we're looking for. |
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I never take offence from it,I also just delete..
Remember single women/couples might get hundreds of messages a day,Bit pointless for them to message back sorry not interested.. Delete=Take the hint and move on |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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What would be a better way then? I've replied before to say no thank you. This has then led to such gems such as 'well, what if I send you another pic?', 'can I still see your face pic?', 'would you reconsider?'... And so forth.
Isn't a simple delete better than a 'I don't fancy you, mate'... |
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I don’t think it’s raw to just delete a message without responding considering how many messages women and couples receive it would take a long time to message everyone back. Maybe fab could introduce a “sorry not for us or me” button as a way to quickly respond |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What would you rather, it to read no thanks or somethimg like that? I suppose its not unreasonable, but not really necessary..
As I said I think it's a crass way of letting someone know that you aren't interested or you are a bit busy. All my messages are nothing but polite and respectful. I wouldn't expect someone to just walk away from me if I initially approached then to chat to. That's the message that button gives, imo anyway"
You've got to understand some women on here get over 100 messages a day and don't have time to go through them all to reply, using your example imagine 100 people crowding one woman to talk to her, she would most certainly turn around and walk away.
Try not to overthink it and just assume she's too busy to reply and isn't interested |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Not often, but too often after we've replied expressing no interest, they sometimes try to convince us otherwise, but what about this? Please, I'll do anything, but this, that, the other.
Sometimes it results in an abusive message back.
Neither response is acceptable, we'd rather they simply delete our reply.
But then, there are also the few that will reply with a thank you for our message and well wishes.
Which leads me to ask ........ After being turned down, should everyone respond in that way? Isn't it rude not to do?.
Replying to so many messages can result in many more incoming.
Unfortunately, it's there nature of the site.
I hope you can come to terms with that and enjoy the more positive side of fab. |
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By *issmorganWoman
over a year ago
Calderdale innit |
If its clear someone has read my profile, i'll respond even if ita a no thanks.
If they haven't then its a delete & i have that in my profile.
Op take a no reply as a no thanks and deletw any messages you send from your outbox. |
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By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in Co. Down |
Nope I find it quite handy. I use to try and answer messages before but got fed up of being asked why I said no to them or them trying to continue to chat even tho I said I am not interested.Just because you send what you think is a well thought out message the other person may not think the same.
And like someone said already if you delete your sent messages then it won't bother you if they delete them.
I understand it must be tough constantly getting messages deleted but no one owes anyone a reply on here . |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If its clear someone has read my profile, i'll respond even if ita a no thanks.
If they haven't then its a delete & i have that in my profile.
Op take a no reply as a no thanks and deletw any messages you send from your outbox."
You gave me a no 4 years ago
That's it I am telling mum lol |
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"What would you rather, it to read no thanks or somethimg like that? I suppose its not unreasonable, but not really necessary..
As I said I think it's a crass way of letting someone know that you aren't interested or you are a bit busy. All my messages are nothing but polite and respectful. I wouldn't expect someone to just walk away from me if I initially approached then to chat to. That's the message that button gives, imo anyway
Ok so would you prefer things like sorry I find you unattractive or too old, too thin etc etc because that’s being honest. Would that make you feel better
A reply wouldn't go amiss. It doesn't have to go into specifics.
Replying allows a user to bypass any future filters you put on your profile. A deleted message is the same outcome as a reply saying no in the grand scheme of things. "
And this issue is exactly why I don't reply to everyone.
That one simple 'no thanks' that everyone wants drops all future filters. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I do understand the problems women have, being swamped with messages.
I've wondered whether sometimes, there are simply so many that they just have a clear out and start again.
I suspect its unlikely that with a mass clear out they would have even looked at the profile let alone read the message.
The 'FAB' advice suggests that if they don't reply then don't take offence and move on. The issue then is, if she/they are especially interesting, should a guy, who's already spent some time putting together a shall we say more interesting message (not your, 'fancy a meet darling!') write again?
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See I’m the opposite op I prefer the closure of having my messages deleted rather than the uncertainty of being left on unread. On another site which I shall not name it gives women the option of responding with a not interested response at the click of a button. Very final |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Most of the messages are, quite honestly, boring as fuck. "Hi how are you" "How's things". And they're attached to a profile that's also boring as fuck with a close up crap photo of their dick. They're unsolicited. Why should we bother to reply to those?
I reply to messages which show more effort and that they've read my profile. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Not only is the message delete button great I also wish when you delete a wink it shows you deleted it, bloody annoying seeing winks from guys we have already deleted previous winks and messages from. |
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you need thicker skin in this game ...
- delete your sent messages so you are not tempted to look at them ....
- Why would you be upset over strangers you don't know ignoring/deleting a message. ..that just seems illogical thought process to me ..
Fab could have tick box auto replies , that just give a cookie cutter thanks but not interested , that gets sent when you hit delete I guess .. that would be o for those that need something sent to them I guess .. |
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By *harAndBryCouple
over a year ago
Peterborough / Stamford |
"I wouldn't expect someone to just walk away from me if I initially approached then to chat to."
In the *real* world, you'd probably be the only person approaching and saying hello. In Fabland, there's hundred every day. It's very, very different.
(Bry) |
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I used to reply with a no thanks, guess what then happens....?
- Fat cow didn't want to fuck you anyway
- Why not
- Can you help with my profile
- Thanks for the response
- Or genuinely threatening messages...
OP what would you do?
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By *ase4122 OP Man
over a year ago
Lancashire |
"I used to reply with a no thanks, guess what then happens....?
- Fat cow didn't want to fuck you anyway
- Why not
- Can you help with my profile
- Thanks for the response
- Or genuinely threatening messages...
OP what would you do?
"
In the unlikely event of a message to me and I wasn't interested for what ever reason, I'd respond with an appropriate message.
If someone did reply with a no thanks, then that would be that.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I used to reply with a no thanks, guess what then happens....?
- Fat cow didn't want to fuck you anyway
- Why not
- Can you help with my profile
- Thanks for the response
- Or genuinely threatening messages...
OP what would you do?
In the unlikely event of a message to me and I wasn't interested for what ever reason, I'd respond with an appropriate message.
If someone did reply with a no thanks, then that would be that.
"
But unfortunately some aren’t like you which gives a bad rep and puts us off replying… |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I used to reply with a no thanks, guess what then happens....?
- Fat cow didn't want to fuck you anyway
- Why not
- Can you help with my profile
- Thanks for the response
- Or genuinely threatening messages...
OP what would you do?
"
Exactly this! |
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Just tried saying no thanks to a guy that's not even read the 1st paragraph of my profile..
His response
No thanks ? I asked what you were looking for and your response is no thanks ? Do you not speak english ?
He then goes on to say that I've got my head up my arse, he's also messaged me a further 4 times all because I replied with a no thanks message  |
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"Just tried saying no thanks to a guy that's not even read the 1st paragraph of my profile..
His response
No thanks ? I asked what you were looking for and your response is no thanks ? Do you not speak english ?
He then goes on to say that I've got my head up my arse, he's also messaged me a further 4 times all because I replied with a no thanks message "
I've had guys do that to me too. And guys react the same way when I deleted their messages without a response. There's no way we can win. |
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"Just tried saying no thanks to a guy that's not even read the 1st paragraph of my profile..
His response
No thanks ? I asked what you were looking for and your response is no thanks ? Do you not speak english ?
He then goes on to say that I've got my head up my arse, he's also messaged me a further 4 times all because I replied with a no thanks message
I've had guys do that to me too. And guys react the same way when I deleted their messages without a response. There's no way we can win."
Really jeez. Maybe a simple block would be the answer? OP would you prefer that? |
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By *ase4122 OP Man
over a year ago
Lancashire |
"I used to reply with a no thanks, guess what then happens....?
- Fat cow didn't want to fuck you anyway
- Why not
- Can you help with my profile
- Thanks for the response
- Or genuinely threatening messages...
OP what would you do?
In the unlikely event of a message to me and I wasn't interested for what ever reason, I'd respond with an appropriate message.
If someone did reply with a no thanks, then that would be that.
But unfortunately some aren’t like you which gives a bad rep and puts us off replying… "
Looks like us nice mature guys have it spoiled by the immature idiots then.  |
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By *ase4122 OP Man
over a year ago
Lancashire |
"Just tried saying no thanks to a guy that's not even read the 1st paragraph of my profile..
His response
No thanks ? I asked what you were looking for and your response is no thanks ? Do you not speak english ?
He then goes on to say that I've got my head up my arse, he's also messaged me a further 4 times all because I replied with a no thanks message
I've had guys do that to me too. And guys react the same way when I deleted their messages without a response. There's no way we can win."
Unfortunately we aren't all aresholes that have an ego the size of the mouth of a river. |
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"Not only is the message delete button great I also wish when you delete a wink it shows you deleted it, bloody annoying seeing winks from guys we have already deleted previous winks and messages from."
I might be wrong but if you dont delete the wink, they are unable to wink you again.
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My ex play partner was very popular on here. If she posted a pic she would get between 600 -800 messages and she generally posted at least once a day.
It is simply impossible to read every single message and reply politely or even rudely to every one.
And then to get the follow up message of why etc.. its unrealistic.
Fab is a tough place for single men. Tougher for single cheating men like myself but dont let the deleted messages get you down. Someone out there is looking for exactly what you are able to offer. Just need a dustbin full of luck to find them. |
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By *ase4122 OP Man
over a year ago
Lancashire |
"My point exactly some men want a no thanks, some a deleted message, some want a block. I say stick with whatever works for you ladies cos we sure as hell can't win . "
Likewise, polite men can't win. Let's all just pick up the booby prize and go home! |
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By *ase4122 OP Man
over a year ago
Lancashire |
"My ex play partner was very popular on here. If she posted a pic she would get between 600 -800 messages and she generally posted at least once a day.
It is simply impossible to read every single message and reply politely or even rudely to every one.
And then to get the follow up message of why etc.. its unrealistic.
Fab is a tough place for single men. Tougher for single cheating men like myself but dont let the deleted messages get you down. Someone out there is looking for exactly what you are able to offer. Just need a dustbin full of luck to find them."
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"My ex play partner was very popular on here. If she posted a pic she would get between 600 -800 messages and she generally posted at least once a day.
It is simply impossible to read every single message and reply politely or even rudely to every one.
And then to get the follow up message of why etc.. its unrealistic.
Fab is a tough place for single men. Tougher for single cheating men like myself but dont let the deleted messages get you down. Someone out there is looking for exactly what you are able to offer. Just need a dustbin full of luck to find them."
this is a big issue . I know when my pics sometime blow up on hot pages . I cant get over 1500 messages when I have men allowed to message ..
today I have put no males filter up as I have too many messages and sometimes you need to unplug ...
I have female friend easily getting 500+ a day, there is just no way to handle that .. I am a user of bulk deleting messages at times just to clear the box out |
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"What would you rather, it to read no thanks or somethimg like that? I suppose its not unreasonable, but not really necessary..
As I said I think it's a crass way of letting someone know that you aren't interested or you are a bit busy. All my messages are nothing but polite and respectful. I wouldn't expect someone to just walk away from me if I initially approached then to chat to. That's the message that button gives, imo anyway
Ok so would you prefer things like sorry I find you unattractive or too old, too thin etc etc because that’s being honest. Would that make you feel better
A reply wouldn't go amiss. It doesn't have to go into specifics.
"
But then we get a message back saying why not etc |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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When I send a message I then delete it.
As others say no reply is no thanks and why should I waste my message quota sending a no thanks.
The other issue is that if you reply “no thanks” they then come back with “why not” so at some point it ends up deleted anyways |
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By *ase4122 OP Man
over a year ago
Lancashire |
"When I send a message I then delete it.
As others say no reply is no thanks and why should I waste my message quota sending a no thanks.
The other issue is that if you reply “no thanks” they then come back with “why not” so at some point it ends up deleted anyways "
Today, I have seen many replies to this and like someone previous and yourself have said, delete the message after sending. I will now do this, problem solved.
I am genuinely sorry the females on here get the abuse they do, however we aren't all bred from the same stock. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"When I send a message I then delete it.
As others say no reply is no thanks and why should I waste my message quota sending a no thanks.
The other issue is that if you reply “no thanks” they then come back with “why not” so at some point it ends up deleted anyways
Today, I have seen many replies to this and like someone previous and yourself have said, delete the message after sending. I will now do this, problem solved.
I am genuinely sorry the females on here get the abuse they do, however we aren't all bred from the same stock."
It’s not just abusive messages but I will read a profile. Look at their photos.
If there’s nothing that peaks my interest why would I reply.
I have messaged men and had no reply back.
Just look at it as their loss |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I used to reply with a no thanks, guess what then happens....?
- Fat cow didn't want to fuck you anyway
- Why not
- Can you help with my profile
- Thanks for the response
- Or genuinely threatening messages...
OP what would you do?
In the unlikely event of a message to me and I wasn't interested for what ever reason, I'd respond with an appropriate message.
If someone did reply with a no thanks, then that would be that.
"
But, wouldn't it be polite of you to reply, thanking them for their polite response? |
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By *tooveMan
over a year ago
belfast |
"I used to reply with a no thanks, guess what then happens....?
- Fat cow didn't want to fuck you anyway
- Why not
- Can you help with my profile
- Thanks for the response
- Or genuinely threatening messages...
OP what would you do?
In the unlikely event of a message to me and I wasn't interested for what ever reason, I'd respond with an appropriate message.
If someone did reply with a no thanks, then that would be that.
But, wouldn't it be polite of you to reply, thanking them for their polite response?"
And on and on. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I used to reply with a no thanks, guess what then happens....?
- Fat cow didn't want to fuck you anyway
- Why not
- Can you help with my profile
- Thanks for the response
- Or genuinely threatening messages...
OP what would you do?
In the unlikely event of a message to me and I wasn't interested for what ever reason, I'd respond with an appropriate message.
If someone did reply with a no thanks, then that would be that.
But unfortunately some aren’t like you which gives a bad rep and puts us off replying…
Looks like us nice mature guys have it spoiled by the immature idiots then. "
Strangely, we've found the opposite.
Example, stating someone is out of our comfort zone regarding age.
The younger guys have usually politely accepted, and the older guys tried to talk us round. |
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By *rKinksMan
over a year ago
Alton |
"Nah it's brilliant. Why waste time replying to people you've no interest in. "
Agreed if you delete my message that's enough info I need. I'm sure whomever is busy enough with lots of messages.
If I delete a message it is usually due to it being low effort so low effort response |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Being fairly new still we always respond politely to polite messages even if it’s a no thank you.
Still get called all the cnuts under the sun at times through so another couple of those and we’ll be hitting the delete like many others.
So t be so sensitive OP it’s the internet. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I used to reply with a no thanks, guess what then happens....?
- Fat cow didn't want to fuck you anyway
- Why not
- Can you help with my profile
- Thanks for the response
- Or genuinely threatening messages...
OP what would you do?
"
And the begging. Please, please....just give me a chance.
I never reply if I'm not interested. It's not worth the hassle of the next 20 messages |
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"
And the begging. Please, please....just give me a chance.
I never reply if I'm not interested. It's not worth the hassle of the next 20 messages
But pleeeease !!
 "
Have you gone shy? (Can't stand that one either) |
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I dont mind deleted messages. Keeps the person's / couples inbox uncluttered and let's you know its a no thanks.
Tbh women and couples can be pestered left right and centre here so I fully understand not being able to reply (even if it's a polite no thanks).
I think what's more crass is the amount of single men who have zero clue what swinging actually is. I nearly got punched in a club for trying to explain to a pissed up bloke that just because a lady is in a club doesn't mean she has to shag literally everyone! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It's a simple way of saying no thanks.
It's a full time job if you're relying to all messages even if its a no thanks. If they reply with no thanks they'll get another message asking why 
If it saves people time then its its perfectly fine by me. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We used to always try to reply but as a coupe you just get so many and not enough time to reply to all.
When we did reply with a polite no thanks you’d be faced with ‘why not’? Responses or they’d try to draw you into conversation to try and change our mind.
Although it seems rude it’s now much simpler to press delete. |
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Pxx
