FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > is this forum one big clique?
is this forum one big clique?
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I have only been active in the forum for about 3 days, read some brilliant and funny posts and enjoyed the advice and general chit chat. I have seen the odd negative reply but I guess some people feel very strongly about some subjects. All in all im enjoying the banter and learning as i go  |
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By *iewMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Angus & Findhorn |
"I have only been active in the forum for about 3 days, read some brilliant and funny posts and enjoyed the advice and general chit chat. I have seen the odd negative reply but I guess some people feel very strongly about some subjects. All in all im enjoying the banter and learning as i go "
welcome |
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By *am123 OP Man
over a year ago
essex chelmsford |
me 2, bt have also seen some people get abs torn apart on here aswell, for voiceing an opinion , which at the end of the day is just that... and a cliche it mite be but everyones entitled to one no? x  |
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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago
(She/ her) in Sensualityland |
If you feel you pick up negativity in any shape or form, my advice would be to just ignore it and reply to those who you think are not negative or even ignore the particular thread and go to another one? It is like in real life, different people have different opinions and also different ways of expressing them. Good luck  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I can see why someone would think that. But when someone gets torn a part it's usually due to being offensive, disrespectful or asking a question that has been done to death.
Personally I find the idea of the forum being 1 big clique laughable, there are a handful of regular posters that I would love to meet but to be honest the vast majority I have little interest in and suspect that's the case for many others too. |
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By *ENDAROOSCouple
over a year ago
South West London / Surrey |
"why are so many on here so quick to put people down? thought swinging was about having fun not having a go?? just saying!!  "
You will find a mix of people on the forums same as anywhere else.
Sometimes the written word can be taken the wrong way. |
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By *am123 OP Man
over a year ago
essex chelmsford |
"If you feel you pick up negativity in any shape or form, my advice would be to just ignore it and reply to those who you think are not negative or even ignore the particular thread and go to another one? It is like in real life, different people have different opinions and also different ways of expressing them. Good luck "
hi hun yeah i agree wth u but its not toward me in particular,just an observation u just know wen a post gos up which ones will be trouble can be fun to watch it go bang tho  |
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"me 2, bt have also seen some people get abs torn apart on here aswell, for voiceing an opinion , which at the end of the day is just that... and a cliche it mite be but everyones entitled to one no? x "
I think thats awful that people can get torn apart just for voicing an opinion. But as yet i have not witnessed that, on the other hand I have seen people get critisised for voicing an opinion which is narrow minded, ill-informed, or insulting to others. Im sure there are more nice people in the forums than nasty so just enjoy and have your say.  |
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Any fast moving forum can be cliquey.
And this one is no exception.
Post the obvious or stupid questions and you will get sarcasm back.
A lot of people log on from their phones so the forum is light relief from work and private stresses. When people are fending off stupidity in the realworld they are often a little hotter on it on here too.
But amongst the quips and banter there is often good sound advice - especially for newbies, they may be asking a question which gets asked about every 5 days but someone will take time to answer sensibly and helpfully.
Consider it like an ever shifting group of friends at a pub. Some will come and go, some will be there all day, some are witty, some sharp, some get derogatory when tipsy, some talk nothing but nonsense, some will sit silent in the corner for hours then drop out a single conversational gem and then slink off home... 
But new friends are always welcome, there may be a trial by sarcasm depending on the mix who are present when you pitch in your first comment, but stick with it and soon you'll be included when someone asks if the forum is just a clique. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I can see why someone would think that. But when someone gets torn a part it's usually due to being offensive, disrespectful or asking a question that has been done to death.
Personally I find the idea of the forum being 1 big clique laughable, there are a handful of regular posters that I would love to meet but to be honest the vast majority I have little interest in and suspect that's the case for many others too."
I get fed up with people moaning about threads being done to death. They may well be to some on here who have been around ages but to others who maybe newbies its very new. Seen many a person put down on a thread about this when really people should just pass it by if it bores them and find something that does interest them. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Bugger off OP - you're not in my gang  No seriously, you have to take people with a pinch of salt on here and ir can't be clique y - any1 is allowed to air their opinions |
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By *am123 OP Man
over a year ago
essex chelmsford |
"Any fast moving forum can be cliquey.
And this one is no exception.
Post the obvious or stupid questions and you will get sarcasm back.
A lot of people log on from their phones so the forum is light relief from work and private stresses. When people are fending off stupidity in the realworld they are often a little hotter on it on here too.
But amongst the quips and banter there is often good sound advice - especially for newbies, they may be asking a question which gets asked about every 5 days but someone will take time to answer sensibly and helpfully.
Consider it like an ever shifting group of friends at a pub. Some will come and go, some will be there all day, some are witty, some sharp, some get derogatory when tipsy, some talk nothing but nonsense, some will sit silent in the corner for hours then drop out a single conversational gem and then slink off home...
But new friends are always welcome, there may be a trial by sarcasm depending on the mix who are present when you pitch in your first comment, but stick with it and soon you'll be included when someone asks if the forum is just a clique. "
good post xx |
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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago
Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum |
"me 2, bt have also seen some people get abs torn apart on here aswell, for voiceing an opinion , which at the end of the day is just that... and a cliche it mite be but everyones entitled to one no? x "
You do need a thick skin on any forum. Best advice - when things get heated, change page. |
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"
Personally I find the idea of the forum being 1 big clique laughable, there are a handful of regular posters that I would love to meet but to be honest the vast majority I have little interest in and suspect that's the case for many others too."
Thats a shame .... that you and many others have little interest in the majority of people who post in the forum. Sort of makes it feel a bit unwelcoming to newbies dont you think? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
Personally I find the idea of the forum being 1 big clique laughable, there are a handful of regular posters that I would love to meet but to be honest the vast majority I have little interest in and suspect that's the case for many others too.
Thats a shame .... that you and many others have little interest in the majority of people who post in the forum. Sort of makes it feel a bit unwelcoming to newbies dont you think? "
Well said, that woman. |
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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago
Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum |
"there may be a trial by sarcasm depending on the mix who are present when you pitch in your first comment, but stick with it and soon you'll be included when someone asks if the forum is just a clique. "
Trial by sarcasm. Love it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I shall say what I have always said in the past, everyone started off as a newbie in forums.
Jump in and participate, and a newbie will not be a newbie for long.
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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
Welcome to new people. Post and be damned. Post too many damnable things in damnable ways and you get banned. if your opinion differs to others all well and good as long as the attack is about the comment and not about the person.
I don't feel that anyone 'owns' the forum but I know I post a lot and so it might look like I know a lot of people. I don't. Things aren't always the way they may appear. |
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"Welcome to new people. Post and be damned. Post too many damnable things in damnable ways and you get banned. if your opinion differs to others all well and good as long as the attack is about the comment and not about the person.
I don't feel that anyone 'owns' the forum but I know I post a lot and so it might look like I know a lot of people. I don't. Things aren't always the way they may appear."
All very true. It can seem that some people stick together but that's life really.
The written word has no tone and you can't see a person's facial expression so things sometimes get taken the wrong way. I like discussion and differing _iewpoints I don't like it when people make it personal but that will always happen I'm afraid. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Read a post about a gentleman asking for advice about Viagra alternatives, without asking his reasons one regular poster told him he should Learn to do without it and she preferred men who didn't use it.
Eventually someone asked why he felt he needed it. It turns out this chap was on medication which effected his libido and just wanted to get back to normal.
I really felt for this guys as he just wanted some advice but was meant to feel worse about his situation.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I can see why someone would think that. But when someone gets torn a part it's usually due to being offensive, disrespectful or asking a question that has been done to death.
Personally I find the idea of the forum being 1 big clique laughable, there are a handful of regular posters that I would love to meet but to be honest the vast majority I have little interest in and suspect that's the case for many others too.
I get fed up with people moaning about threads being done to death. They may well be to some on here who have been around ages but to others who maybe newbies its very new. Seen many a person put down on a thread about this when really people should just pass it by if it bores them and find something that does interest them. "
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By *am123 OP Man
over a year ago
essex chelmsford |
"Read a post about a gentleman asking for advice about Viagra alternatives, without asking his reasons one regular poster told him he should Learn to do without it and she preferred men who didn't use it.
Eventually someone asked why he felt he needed it. It turns out this chap was on medication which effected his libido and just wanted to get back to normal.
I really felt for this guys as he just wanted some advice but was meant to feel worse about his situation.
"
exactly the sort of thing this post is all about seen it many times sadly xx  |
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By *r OreoMan
over a year ago
Croydon |
Ther are many 'regulars' who post here.. and a fair few keyboard warriors!
Only reason is that it sometimes feel 'cliquey' is that not a lot use the forums judging by our friends in chat, so those that do use them appear to post more. |
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"Read a post about a gentleman asking for advice about Viagra alternatives, without asking his reasons one regular poster told him he should Learn to do without it and she preferred men who didn't use it.
Eventually someone asked why he felt he needed it. It turns out this chap was on medication which effected his libido and just wanted to get back to normal.
I really felt for this guys as he just wanted some advice but was meant to feel worse about his situation.
"
But that isn't cliquey, it's just an opinion that OP and you don't share. You will get that in any forum, when you ask for opinions or advice. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I can see why someone would think that. But when someone gets torn a part it's usually due to being offensive, disrespectful or asking a question that has been done to death.
Personally I find the idea of the forum being 1 big clique laughable, there are a handful of regular posters that I would love to meet but to be honest the vast majority I have little interest in and suspect that's the case for many others too.
I get fed up with people moaning about threads being done to death. They may well be to some on here who have been around ages but to others who maybe newbies its very new. Seen many a person put down on a thread about this when really people should just pass it by if it bores them and find something that does interest them. "
Agree totally, not everyone sits on here all day reading every thread so wouldnt know if its been "done to death" or not (and even if it has - so what?) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Read a post about a gentleman asking for advice about Viagra alternatives, without asking his reasons one regular poster told him he should Learn to do without it and she preferred men who didn't use it.
Eventually someone asked why he felt he needed it. It turns out this chap was on medication which effected his libido and just wanted to get back to normal.
I really felt for this guys as he just wanted some advice but was meant to feel worse about his situation.
But that isn't cliquey, it's just an opinion that OP and you don't share. You will get that in any forum, when you ask for opinions or advice."
Understand what you are saying but the OP's post title is why are the forums so cliquey and his first post us about people being really quick to put others down. So I commented in the second observation.
The ladies post about not needing it was her oppinion you're right about that. I just felt it was a little heartless saying what she did without the facts.
Do you think she would have answered in the same way if she had asked for the facts first. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"why are so many on here so quick to put people down? thought swinging was about having fun not having a go?? just saying!! "
Hi Yam 
The forums are a mix of people many with differing _iews and some are quiet opinionated; but all in all we/us/them/you just get stuck and either contribute or passively just look and read...either way its ok |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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As an earlier poster stated - not alot of people use the forums so the same people appear more often - and therein lies the problem - new posters get shot down by the clique all too often and the forums remain the way they are !
Maybe if folk felt more welcome there would be more people using the forums ?
Just a thought |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"As an earlier poster stated - not alot of people use the forums so the same people appear more often - and therein lies the problem - new posters get shot down by the clique all too often and the forums remain the way they are !
Maybe if folk felt more welcome there would be more people using the forums ?
Just a thought "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"As an earlier poster stated - not alot of people use the forums so the same people appear more often - and therein lies the problem - new posters get shot down by the clique all too often and the forums remain the way they are !
Maybe if folk felt more welcome there would be more people using the forums ?
Just a thought "
I think you have a good point there but equally I think some people resent new people using the forums and its one of the reasons for the aggression to new users at times. Its not just here though it happens on half the forums on the net. |
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By *iewMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Angus & Findhorn |
sometimes I look back at the forums 6 months, 12 months and longer... I am staggered how the names change so quick and ones left the site. So the 'regular' posters are a real mixed bunch.
I agree, could be more welcoming at times. |
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"sometimes I look back at the forums 6 months, 12 months and longer... I am staggered how the names change so quick and ones left the site. So the 'regular' posters are a real mixed bunch.
I agree, could be more welcoming at times."
Bugger Off !! he he |
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By *iewMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Angus & Findhorn |
"sometimes I look back at the forums 6 months, 12 months and longer... I am staggered how the names change so quick and ones left the site. So the 'regular' posters are a real mixed bunch.
I agree, could be more welcoming at times.
Bugger Off !! he he"
never wise to use the word bugger to me |
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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"As an earlier poster stated - not alot of people use the forums so the same people appear more often - and therein lies the problem - new posters get shot down by the clique all too often and the forums remain the way they are !
Maybe if folk felt more welcome there would be more people using the forums ?
Just a thought "
It's a funny thing, I used to think this too when I started using the forum. I lurked for a few weeks before there was a post that so incensed me I had to comment. Once I had exposed myself I found that sometimes I got a response and sometimes I didn't.
I examined what I wanted from the forum and have continued to post.
In the 6/7 months or so that I have been using the forum I have already seen two or three 'groups' come and go. There are some old lags (I'm fast becoming one) that hang around but there are others who join in for a couple of months and then move on.
I have found the forum to be a community. Some have lived on Forum Street for some time and others rent on a short lease. Togther it generally all works if you want it to. |
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I disagree that there is a 'clique'. I've been using the forums for the last couple of months and lurked for a few weeks before that. Yes it did seem as though there were cliques And it was daunting when i started posting, fearing I would be ignored as I was new. But I've found you just have to jump in and the masses WILL talk to you.
The only exception to this I've noticed is when there is negativity. Most users seem to use the forums as light relief, so negative posts are jumped on or hijacked, which I don't think is a bad thing. Who wants to read a load of depressing posts when swinging is meant to be fun???? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yes - it's one big clique!
A clique open to all!! "
Yes indeed.... and potentially open to all the adult inhabitants of planet earth!....
Although I have to say.... I'd prefer if we could keep the ones who childishly moan about “not feeling like part of the gang” to a minimum… |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
I agree, could be more welcoming at times.
Very true  "
Are they that unwelcoming though ?
Or is it not often the case that new forum users don't quite understand the mechanisms of :
a) the forums
b) the site, and
c) swinging as a lifestye
If a newcomer sends a private message, depending on it's content, he/she is likely to either get no response at all or a less than positive response from many a seasoned user.
We only have to look at how many people we see posting saying they get no responses to mails or people are ignorant to realise that !
They aren't however likely to receive a chorus of disapproval as forthright as they are in the forums if they post a thread that is way off course, delusional or inflammatory in it's make up.
I think that response can often shock / scare some.
I think for many a newcomer to both the site and the forums, there is a steep learning curve and often a shattering of illusions.
Whilst some people can appear unfriendly in their responses in the forums, I do think overall that new users can make the forums work for them - but as with getting meets there has to be some respect and patience on their part too. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I disagree that there is a 'clique'. I've been using the forums for the last couple of months and lurked for a few weeks before that. Yes it did seem as though there were cliques And it was daunting when i started posting, fearing I would be ignored as I was new. But I've found you just have to jump in and the masses WILL talk to you.
The only exception to this I've noticed is when there is negativity. Most users seem to use the forums as light relief, so negative posts are jumped on or hijacked, which I don't think is a bad thing. Who wants to read a load of depressing posts when swinging is meant to be fun????"
I agree! It can sometimes seem that posters are being harsh to others - in general it's not personal - either just a difference of opinion (which is healthy) or just the way people sometimes express themselves through sarcasm and humour!
There can be the odd occasion when tempers seem to get a little 'frayed' but this seems more common when an OP is not responding well to others _iews or in many cases is being negative and using the forums to vent, whine or complain.
Which, incidentally, is only allowed on a Thursday!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I fully understand that the bond between those that have met and those that haven't is always going to be very different, it therefore appears to some that there is a clique within the Forums when in fact it's just that some forum members have formed a stronger bond with the people they have met in person or known for long period of time.
It's just a shame that many of the long standing Forum regulars don't appear to wish to get to know many of the so called newcomers. I speak from experience here as I'm still classed as a newcomer even though I have been on the site over 3 years...
PS I don't wish to be in anyone's clique or gang |
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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"I fully understand that the bond between those that have met and those that haven't is always going to be very different, it therefore appears to some that there is a clique within the Forums when in fact it's just that some forum members have formed a stronger bond with the people they have met in person or known for long period of time.
It's just a shame that many of the long standing Forum regulars don't appear to wish to get to know many of the so called newcomers. I speak from experience here as I'm still classed as a newcomer even though I have been on the site over 3 years...
PS I don't wish to be in anyone's clique or gang "
There you go, I think of you as one of the old lags |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I fully understand that the bond between those that have met and those that haven't is always going to be very different, it therefore appears to some that there is a clique within the Forums when in fact it's just that some forum members have formed a stronger bond with the people they have met in person or known for long period of time.
It's just a shame that many of the long standing Forum regulars don't appear to wish to get to know many of the so called newcomers. I speak from experience here as I'm still classed as a newcomer even though I have been on the site over 3 years...
PS I don't wish to be in anyone's clique or gang
There you go, I think of you as one of the old lags "
Thank you, I appreciate that xx |
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By *iewMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Angus & Findhorn |
"
I agree, could be more welcoming at times.
Very true
Are they that unwelcoming though ?
Or is it not often the case that new forum users don't quite understand the mechanisms of :
a) the forums
b) the site, and
c) swinging as a lifestye
If a newcomer sends a private message, depending on it's content, he/she is likely to either get no response at all or a less than positive response from many a seasoned user.
We only have to look at how many people we see posting saying they get no responses to mails or people are ignorant to realise that !
They aren't however likely to receive a chorus of disapproval as forthright as they are in the forums if they post a thread that is way off course, delusional or inflammatory in it's make up.
I think that response can often shock / scare some.
I think for many a newcomer to both the site and the forums, there is a steep learning curve and often a shattering of illusions.
Whilst some people can appear unfriendly in their responses in the forums, I do think overall that new users can make the forums work for them - but as with getting meets there has to be some respect and patience on their part too."
good post and I agree with all.
I popped on 'at times' because one of the worst traits in my opinion is when the celebration happens that someone has gone, usually following asking a question that may have been asked before or the comments 'off to get the popcorn' as this is going to be fun to watch.
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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"
I popped on 'at times' because one of the worst traits in my opinion is when the celebration happens that someone has gone, usually following asking a question that may have been asked before or the comments 'off to get the popcorn' as this is going to be fun to watch.
"
I am guilty of sometimes posting when I see something incredulous and then they go. I never partake in popcorn. I will try harder to resist pulling the  face. |
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By *iewMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Angus & Findhorn |
"
I popped on 'at times' because one of the worst traits in my opinion is when the celebration happens that someone has gone, usually following asking a question that may have been asked before or the comments 'off to get the popcorn' as this is going to be fun to watch.
I am guilty of sometimes posting when I see something incredulous and then they go. I never partake in popcorn. I will try harder to resist pulling the face."
from one old lag to a younger & fresher & soon to be one, that's ok |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
I popped on 'at times' because one of the worst traits in my opinion is when the celebration happens that someone has gone, usually following asking a question that may have been asked before or the comments 'off to get the popcorn' as this is going to be fun to watch.
"
Yes, they make for uncomfortable _iewing.
Akin to the burning of the witches in medieval times.
Thankfully though, there does seem to be an attempt by many regular users to educate, re-educate or inform newcomers and offer advice, be that on a particular subject or simply on how to manage expectations.
How well that is received and put into practice very much depends on the person asking though, and we all know that some take the advice or tips on board better than others do. |
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By *iewMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Angus & Findhorn |
"
I popped on 'at times' because one of the worst traits in my opinion is when the celebration happens that someone has gone, usually following asking a question that may have been asked before or the comments 'off to get the popcorn' as this is going to be fun to watch.
Yes, they make for uncomfortable _iewing.
Akin to the burning of the witches in medieval times.
Thankfully though, there does seem to be an attempt by many regular users to educate, re-educate or inform newcomers and offer advice, be that on a particular subject or simply on how to manage expectations.
How well that is received and put into practice very much depends on the person asking though, and we all know that some take the advice or tips on board better than others do."
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yes - it's one big clique!
A clique open to all!!
Yes indeed.... and potentially open to all the adult inhabitants of planet earth!....
Although I have to say.... I'd prefer if we could keep the ones who childishly moan about “not feeling like part of the gang” to a minimum… "
Mmmmm kinda hope that's Tongue in cheek ? |
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By *xodussxMan
over a year ago
sheffield |
I dont think there is any gang or clique here.
True some people get on better after being here everyday
Some hate each other
Some even love each other
But some people are really nasty in what they post...
Then you find some very nice and instructive post here that give you more knowledge then you will ever expect on any other site.
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"I dont think there is any gang or clique here.
True some people get on better after being here everyday
Some hate each other
Some even love each other
But some people are really nasty in what they post...
Then you find some very nice and instructive post here that give you more knowledge then you will ever expect on any other site.
"
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Did you know there are 26 threads presently containing the dreaded "C" word in the title, with a combined total of over 700 posts relating to the subject and we’ve still not got to the bottom of it ……? Sheeeeeeez....
Hey I'm just say'in... maybe theres a "clique-thread" fetish going on here!!!
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Did you know there are 26 threads presently containing the dreaded "C" word in the title, with a combined total of over 700 posts relating to the subject and we’ve still not got to the bottom of it ……? Sheeeeeeez....
Hey I'm just say'in... maybe theres a "clique-thread" fetish going on here!!!
"
Ooh - while your at it soxy - any chance of number crunching the following?
BBW
Why can't I get any meets?
Single Guys
Rude people not replying to messages
Time wasters
Would you (suck/fuck/hit round the head with a wet lettuce) threads
Oh - and Does my bum look big in this!
Thanks!!!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Did you know there are 26 threads presently containing the dreaded "C" word in the title, with a combined total of over 700 posts relating to the subject and we’ve still not got to the bottom of it ……? Sheeeeeeez....
Hey I'm just say'in... maybe theres a "clique-thread" fetish going on here!!!
Ooh - while your at it soxy - any chance of number crunching the following?
BBW
Why can't I get any meets?
Single Guys
Rude people not replying to messages
Time wasters
Would you (suck/fuck/hit round the head with a wet lettuce) threads
Oh - and Does my bum look big in this!
Thanks!!!! "
Hmmm.....
It seems we tip the limit at 35 threads
BBW =35
Why can't I get any meets=35
Single Guys =35
Rude people = 6
Time wasters =35
Would you (suck/fuck/hit round the head with a wet lettuce) threads =35
Does my bum look big in this =3
So it would seem we still have plenty room to discuss rude people with fat arses  |
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"Did you know there are 26 threads presently containing the dreaded "C" word in the title, with a combined total of over 700 posts relating to the subject and we’ve still not got to the bottom of it ……? Sheeeeeeez....
Hey I'm just say'in... maybe theres a "clique-thread" fetish going on here!!!
Ooh - while your at it soxy - any chance of number crunching the following?
BBW
Why can't I get any meets?
Single Guys
Rude people not replying to messages
Time wasters
Would you (suck/fuck/hit round the head with a wet lettuce) threads
Oh - and Does my bum look big in this!
Thanks!!!!
Hmmm.....
It seems we tip the limit at 35 threads
BBW =35
Why can't I get any meets=35
Single Guys =35
Rude people = 6
Time wasters =35
Would you (suck/fuck/hit round the head with a wet lettuce) threads =35
Does my bum look big in this =3
So it would seem we still have plenty room to discuss rude people with fat arses "
Although I'm sure not all rude people have fat arses and I can assure you not all fat arses are rude lol 
I see a new thread coming.... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"why are so many on here so quick to put people down? thought swinging was about having fun not having a go?? just saying!! "
Don't know what experience you have of contributing to or just watching forums on other sites (not just swinging ones), but after 6+ months on here, and having been a moderator elsewhere years ago, I can assure you this is actually a very un-cliquey forum. Hard to believe sometimes, but true.
Like all forums, they take time to 'lock into' - in other words, they all have different conventions, ambience, tone etc etc and it does take time to get used to it.
Like other contributors have already said, on occasion, some OP's really get hammered, but 99% of the time it is for good reason - this is a World which does attract some people with some rather 'esoteric' attitudes which they try to display and/or justify in here, more often than not to their loss.
Just keep surfing the forums and join in when you YOU want to. If people don't agree with what you have to say, it ain't the end of the World...
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"why are so many on here so quick to put people down? thought swinging was about having fun not having a go?? just saying!! "
Oh gawd!! You've done it now
Remember in the wizard of oz, when you mention the wicked witch of the west?
I'd feck off sharpish if I were you.
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By *iewMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Angus & Findhorn |
"why are so many on here so quick to put people down? thought swinging was about having fun not having a go?? just saying!!
Oh gawd!! You've done it now
Remember in the wizard of oz, when you mention the wicked witch of the west?
I'd feck off sharpish if I were you.
"
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"Who wants to read a load of depressing posts when swinging is meant to be fun????
Gives insatiable the clap "
Errr, normally I'd say thank you gracefully but in this instance I think I'll hand it back, don't think OH would be to impressed |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"i cant really take these forums seriously. most of the time people seem to be quoting and agreeing with people they fancy just so they notice them. "
^^ Hello Sailor ^^ xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"i cant really take these forums seriously. most of the time people seem to be quoting and agreeing with people they fancy just so they notice them.
^^ Hello Sailor ^^ xx"
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By *londeCazWoman
over a year ago
Arse End of the Universe, Cumbria |
"why are so many on here so quick to put people down? thought swinging was about having fun not having a go?? just saying!!
Oh gawd!! You've done it now
Remember in the wizard of oz, when you mention the wicked witch of the west?
I'd feck off sharpish if I were you.
"
Artful, that's no way to talk about Ruggers...now whatever you do, don't say Beteljuice 3 times else we'll never get shot of HPC |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
Personally I find the idea of the forum being 1 big clique laughable, there are a handful of regular posters that I would love to meet but to be honest the vast majority I have little interest in and suspect
that's the case for many others too.
Thats a shame .... that you and many others have little interest in the majority of people who post in the forum. Sort of makes it feel a bit unwelcoming to newbies dont you think? "
I've only just started to come in here too and found it really intresting but a bit scarey lol |
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"Time for me to feck off.
Theres no place like home, theres no place like home, theres no pla......fuck it! I'll walk."
It's the red shoes you need for that to work ya numpty! Blue takes you to Cumbria! |
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Some thoughts for you:
If you go into a new pub and everyone chats and ignores you is that a clique?
If you go in the pub and start acting a dick and a few of the regulars put you down for it, is that a clique?
If, however, you go in the pub, chat and say hello and make a few friends, have you joined the clique?
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By *londeCazWoman
over a year ago
Arse End of the Universe, Cumbria |
"Time for me to feck off.
Theres no place like home, theres no place like home, theres no pla......fuck it! I'll walk.
It's the red shoes you need for that to work ya numpty! Blue takes you to Cumbria! "
And once here, you're all mine...or Daz's...or on occasion Taz's |
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" Understand what you are saying but the OP's post title is why are the forums so cliquey and his first post us about people being really quick to put others down. So I commented in the second observation.
The ladies post about not needing it was her oppinion you're right about that. I just felt it was a little heartless saying what she did without the facts.
Do you think she would have answered in the same way if she had asked for the facts first. "
I understand what you are saying but you could argue if the OP had posted the facts first, he might have only received informative, sympathetic answers. You will always get one or two who shock, are rude or whatever. But in a lot of cases, posters leave themselves open by writing a vague post with few facts, which results in a really wide field of response, from people who are making their own conclusions, because the poster didn't provide enough information. Look at posts and profiles, there are loads with little information and the poster forgets they are a blank sheet to the rest of us. We don't know anything about them.
I also tend to think new forumites can sometimes see regulars writing about past experiences, 'in jokes' etc and feel a little intimidated. But in my opinion it is not a clique, as such, it's simply people who know one another through here or through meeting.
And while I accept that a number of posts and people have been rude or unjustified in things they have written, I also think some people on here are far too sensitive. Some fab members (not me, either), know each other quite well, a bit like a Pub you have never been in to. Get over it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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" Understand what you are saying but the OP's post title is why are the forums so cliquey and his first post us about people being really quick to put others down. So I commented in the second observation.
The ladies post about not needing it was her oppinion you're right about that. I just felt it was a little heartless saying what she did without the facts.
Do you think she would have answered in the same way if she had asked for the facts first.
I understand what you are saying but you could argue if the OP had posted the facts first, he might have only received informative, sympathetic answers. You will always get one or two who shock, are rude or whatever. But in a lot of cases, posters leave themselves open by writing a vague post with few facts, which results in a really wide field of response, from people who are making their own conclusions, because the poster didn't provide enough information. Look at posts and profiles, there are loads with little information and the poster forgets they are a blank sheet to the rest of us. We don't know anything about them.
I also tend to think new forumites can sometimes see regulars writing about past experiences, 'in jokes' etc and feel a little intimidated. But in my opinion it is not a clique, as such, it's simply people who know one another through here or through meeting.
And while I accept that a number of posts and people have been rude or unjustified in things they have written, I also think some people on here are far too sensitive. Some fab members (not me, either), know each other quite well, a bit like a Pub you have never been in to. Get over it."
Good answer. Not said in a cocky way either,  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Time for me to feck off.
Theres no place like home, theres no place like home, theres no pla......fuck it! I'll walk.
It's the red shoes you need for that to work ya numpty! Blue takes you to Cumbria! "
I've got my red ox blood doc martins on, does that work? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Most forums are like that. Just got to ignore it and laugh at em for their sadness as anyone making a clique on an Internet forum needs their heads wobbling. "
very true |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If you feel you pick up negativity in any shape or form, my advice would be to just ignore it and reply to those who you think are not negative or even ignore the particular thread and go to another one? It is like in real life, different people have different opinions and also different ways of expressing them. Good luck "
What I don't understand is why anybody would care. I only care what my friends think not what several people I have never met ,never will meet, and in some cases wouldn't want to meet, say or think particularly if I've never even seen them.
I can understand that people who have no friends other than virtual friends on a website like this might care, but I cannot believe any of the people who use the forums are such sad, and socially dysfunctional people |
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My thoughts... I don't personally think there's a clique on the forum, because I think people are generally made to feel welcome when they initially post. The hand-holding doesn't necessarily last forever but neither should it.
However, I do think that there are some people - of both sexes - who can do no wrong and no matter what they post they are guaranteed to get people fawning over them.
But that's different to a clique... nobody is excluded from posting but most aren't entitled to their own army of sycophants. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"My thoughts... I don't personally think there's a clique on the forum, because I think people are generally made to feel welcome when they initially post. The hand-holding doesn't necessarily last forever but neither should it.
However, I do think that there are some people - of both sexes - who can do no wrong and no matter what they post they are guaranteed to get people fawning over them.
But that's different to a clique... nobody is excluded from posting but most aren't entitled to their own army of sycophants."
And I thought we were the only ones to notice. |
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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"My thoughts... I don't personally think there's a clique on the forum, because I think people are generally made to feel welcome when they initially post. The hand-holding doesn't necessarily last forever but neither should it.
However, I do think that there are some people - of both sexes - who can do no wrong and no matter what they post they are guaranteed to get people fawning over them.
But that's different to a clique... nobody is excluded from posting but most aren't entitled to their own army of sycophants."
How does one recruit an army of sycophants? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If you feel you pick up negativity in any shape or form, my advice would be to just ignore it and reply to those who you think are not negative or even ignore the particular thread and go to another one? It is like in real life, different people have different opinions and also different ways of expressing them. Good luck
What I don't understand is why anybody would care. I only care what my friends think not what several people I have never met ,never will meet, and in some cases wouldn't want to meet, say or think particularly if I've never even seen them.
I can understand that people who have no friends other than virtual friends on a website like this might care, but I cannot believe any of the people who use the forums are such sad, and socially dysfunctional people"
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I can see why someone would think that. But when someone gets torn a part it's usually due to being offensive, disrespectful or asking a question that has been done to death.
Personally I find the idea of the forum being 1 big clique laughable, there are a handful of regular posters that I would love to meet but to be honest the vast majority I have little interest in and suspect that's the case for many others too."
this
those that think there is a clique are often the ones that post shite and get told as much. |
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I have met one person who uses the forum ... myself! So I definitely am not part of some ' special friends group'. I just write crap ( although I have now learnt the forum rules lol ) and enjoy reading other peoples comments. When i'm off work I really enjoy the forums and quite often see the same people on here , but it's simply because those people are interested in the same topics as me. |
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By *RYBBWCouple
over a year ago
Leeds. |
"why are so many on here so quick to put people down? thought swinging was about having fun not having a go?? just saying!! "
Just hidden our profile. I (Jackie) joined in with a certain thread on here only to be subjected to abusive comments from other members.
It's nice to feel welcome. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"why are so many on here so quick to put people down? thought swinging was about having fun not having a go?? just saying!!
Just hidden our profile. I (Jackie) joined in with a certain thread on here only to be subjected to abusive comments from other members.
It's nice to feel welcome."
to rip apart what someoene says, in my opinion, is fine.
if it gets personal than its oversteps the mark.
whoever it was, if you felt personally attacked, then report the post. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"why are so many on here so quick to put people down? thought swinging was about having fun not having a go?? just saying!!
Just hidden our profile. I (Jackie) joined in with a certain thread on here only to be subjected to abusive comments from other members.
It's nice to feel welcome."
one person in a whole thread said something you found offensive? if im looking at the right thread, thats not indicative of the whole forum,report it if its upset you |
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By *iewMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Angus & Findhorn |
one of the best things about older threads popping back about cliques is the change of behaviours...
a few times you see people slagging off cliques and the inappropriate comments of others, press the green arrow... and wow, people change and join in and display the behaviours they originally complained about.
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By *ohohoWoman
over a year ago
Up North |
"one of the best things about older threads popping back about cliques is the change of behaviours...
a few times you see people slagging off cliques and the inappropriate comments of others, press the green arrow... and wow, people change and join in and display the behaviours they originally complained about.
"
It took me ages to read this whole thread as that is what I was doing. It was enlightening to say the least.
A very interesting thread though. |
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It certainly isn't a clique, I've met a few of the people who post on here at socials, however not tom often. Swapped emails with a few of them about stuff but nothing too major and we'll probably never meet for geographical and other reason. There's certainly one I've had sex with a couple of years but the majority of the large number of people I've had sex with from Fab over the years don't post on the forums. Just ask sensible questions, post interesting thoughts. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Any fast moving forum can be cliquey.
And this one is no exception.
Post the obvious or stupid questions and you will get sarcasm back.
A lot of people log on from their phones so the forum is light relief from work and private stresses. When people are fending off stupidity in the realworld they are often a little hotter on it on here too.
But amongst the quips and banter there is often good sound advice - especially for newbies, they may be asking a question which gets asked about every 5 days but someone will take time to answer sensibly and helpfully.
Consider it like an ever shifting group of friends at a pub. Some will come and go, some will be there all day, some are witty, some sharp, some get derogatory when tipsy, some talk nothing but nonsense, some will sit silent in the corner for hours then drop out a single conversational gem and then slink off home...
But new friends are always welcome, there may be a trial by sarcasm depending on the mix who are present when you pitch in your first comment, but stick with it and soon you'll be included when someone asks if the forum is just a clique. "
well said
OP it just like a pub . but not group of friends its the hole pub. some you like some you don't and if you wait long enough someone else will say what you are thinking |
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Only been a member about 6 weeks, have enjoyed using the forums, haven't had a negative response to any of my posts yet, some may not agree with what I say and that is what discussion is about but nobody has taken a personal poke at me |
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I've been on site about six years. Anyone who says there isn't a clique is delusional: there is.
There is also a marked difference in response to threads depending on gender.
Personally if a thread interest me I respond. Sometimes I move on as the usual needy attention seekers appear turning threads into a love in.
Post and be damned I say. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've been on site about six years. Anyone who says there isn't a clique is delusional: there is.
There is also a marked difference in response to threads depending on gender.
Personally if a thread interest me I respond. Sometimes I move on as the usual needy attention seekers appear turning threads into a love in.
Post and be damned I say. "
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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago
Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum |
"I've been on site about six years. Anyone who says there isn't a clique is delusional: there is.
There is also a marked difference in response to threads depending on gender.
Personally if a thread interest me I respond. Sometimes I move on as the usual needy attention seekers appear turning threads into a love in.
Post and be damned I say. "
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By *eareenaCouple
over a year ago
Rockford |
"I've been on site about six years. Anyone who says there isn't a clique is delusional: there is.
There is also a marked difference in response to threads depending on gender.
Personally if a thread interest me I respond. Sometimes I move on as the usual needy attention seekers appear turning threads into a love in.
Post and be damned I say. "
Nothing wrong with spreading a little love. If it makes some people think of me as a needy attention seeker then so be it. |
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"I've been on site about six years. Anyone who says there isn't a clique is delusional: there is.
There is also a marked difference in response to threads depending on gender.
Personally if a thread interest me I respond. Sometimes I move on as the usual needy attention seekers appear turning threads into a love in.
Post and be damned I say.
Nothing wrong with spreading a little love. If it makes some people think of me as a needy attention seeker then so be it. "
My comments weren't personal: therefore if you feel you're needy and attention seeking... |
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By *eareenaCouple
over a year ago
Rockford |
"I've been on site about six years. Anyone who says there isn't a clique is delusional: there is.
There is also a marked difference in response to threads depending on gender.
Personally if a thread interest me I respond. Sometimes I move on as the usual needy attention seekers appear turning threads into a love in.
Post and be damned I say.
Nothing wrong with spreading a little love. If it makes some people think of me as a needy attention seeker then so be it.
My comments weren't personal: therefore if you feel you're needy and attention seeking..."
Nah just feel I like to turn threads into love ins. Gives me much pleasure |
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"Ive removed posts. Please dont use threads like this to start dishing out insults about other members - either specific or in general "
The bigger question is were the people who were dishing out abuse part of a clique or loners ? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've been on site about six years. Anyone who says there isn't a clique is delusional: there is.
There is also a marked difference in response to threads depending on gender.
Personally if a thread interest me I respond. Sometimes I move on as the usual needy attention seekers appear turning threads into a love in.
Post and be damned I say. "
I would rather be true to myself and post what I think and believe and be respected by a handful of posters than play to the audience and seek constant gratification of the masses in the hope of getting laid. |
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"I've been on site about six years. Anyone who says there isn't a clique is delusional: there is.
There is also a marked difference in response to threads depending on gender.
Personally if a thread interest me I respond. Sometimes I move on as the usual needy attention seekers appear turning threads into a love in.
Post and be damned I say.
I would rather be true to myself and post what I think and believe and be respected by a handful of posters than play to the audience and seek constant gratification of the masses in the hope of getting laid."
To thine own self be true. |
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"I thought Thursday was rant day, not necro-posting day?
*Chuckles quietly so not to wake household* "
Hehe. It was 43 weeks old. I have no idea why it needed to be resurrected. But hey...what do i know? |
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"I thought Thursday was rant day, not necro-posting day?
*Chuckles quietly so not to wake household*
Hehe. It was 43 weeks old. I have no idea why it needed to be resurrected. But hey...what do i know? "
In fairness people do tell otgers to look up old threads... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Fabs one BIG melting pot of different people and _iews some will feel the same on things and some will not and if that's a click well we are all in this together . |
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"Fabs one BIG melting pot of different people and _iews some will feel the same on things and some will not and if that's a click well we are all in this together . "
I fully agree with anything Jo says for no other reason other than she is dam hot ! |
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By *am123 OP Man
over a year ago
essex chelmsford |
"Only been a member about 6 weeks, have enjoyed using the forums, haven't had a negative response to any of my posts yet, some may not agree with what I say and that is what discussion is about but nobody has taken a personal poke at me "
thats because you are female and sexy at that you will be safe |
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By *am123 OP Man
over a year ago
essex chelmsford |
"I've been on site about six years. Anyone who says there isn't a clique is delusional: there is.
There is also a marked difference in response to threads depending on gender.
Personally if a thread interest me I respond. Sometimes I move on as the usual needy attention seekers appear turning threads into a love in.
Post and be damned I say. "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"why are so many on here so quick to put people down? thought swinging was about having fun not having a go?? just saying!! "
Swinging is about fun however as a very fair percentage of those posting on the forums don't actually swing, check out the number of jokely profiles, is it a surprise that what you allude to happens so much |
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