FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Why do people lack basic respect
Why do people lack basic respect
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Why do people message without reading our profile. If we are going to share our most intimate parts of ourselves, then the least a person can do is read our profile and respecting our personal wishes and desires.
I spent my teenage years being vilified by straight guys who would say "Don't come near me, you might try to bum me". He's never been interested in a straight guy in his life (well that's a lie... Hugh Jackman, call me!).
But in all seriousness can people just have the decency and respect to read a profile properly, make a very simple choice whether you meet what they want and then spend a whole minute or two actually constructing a personalised statement.
We don't go round messaging the hot straight guys asking if they want to be bi for the day. We check out their profile, see they are straight, wish they weren't and then move on.
People also have to understand we aren't here for your pleasure, we are here for ours. If the stars align, then our pleasure and your pleasure may just be part of the same constellation. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Hi. I have the basic answer. A lot of guys will just look at petals pics and not metals and think they can rub their stick in petals face while metal is sat there jerking off.
They don't bother to read the profiles at all.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hi. I have the basic answer. A lot of guys will just look at petals pics and not metals and think they can rub their stick in petals face while metal is sat there jerking off.
They don't bother to read the profiles at all.
"
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Happens to me all the time,despite stating in my profile that I don't want to meet men on their own I get guys messaging me offering all sorts, usually happens just after I add a new picture. Think they just look at the pictures & fire off a message without reading my profile. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I would say a majority do not read my profile, they blatantly are not matches. I point out to everyone it only takes a minute to read then you get a barrage of sarcasm back. It separates the men from the boys on here, doing something as simple as reading a profile. It really irritates me personally and I have sent a lot of people on their way over it. I think if they cannot be bothered to read a profile would they be bothered to do a meet properly? |
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"Why do people message without reading our profile. If we are going to share our most intimate parts of ourselves, then the least a person can do is read our profile and respecting our personal wishes and desires.
I spent my teenage years being vilified by straight guys who would say "Don't come near me, you might try to bum me". He's never been interested in a straight guy in his life (well that's a lie... Hugh Jackman, call me!).
But in all seriousness can people just have the decency and respect to read a profile properly, make a very simple choice whether you meet what they want and then spend a whole minute or two actually constructing a personalised statement.
We don't go round messaging the hot straight guys asking if they want to be bi for the day. We check out their profile, see they are straight, wish they weren't and then move on.
People also have to understand we aren't here for your pleasure, we are here for ours. If the stars align, then our pleasure and your pleasure may just be part of the same constellation. "
Unfortunately quite a few couples do actually go around messaging straight guys asking or instructing them to play bi.
I don't send messages at all so every conversation is started by others.
I've had opening messages from women but especially couples telling me to shave my beard, send my phone number or facepic as well as numerous other demands.
I've been told I'm too old, too straight and too male to ever be successful here but if I agree to play bi and/or guarantee a sexy lady they will consider putting me on their to-do list for future meets.
I've been told that men don't have options here and that they know for a fact that everything in my profile is BS and I don't really believe it.
These are just a few examples of the level of entitlement some people have and they are all profiles with 80-100 veries which I can only assume are from men who agreed to their demands |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I ask them if they would say that to our face in a pub. I then point out what I would do if they did.
A lack of manners and respect is in my opinion reaching epidemic levels. |
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By *bi HaiveMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
"Why do people message without reading our profile. If we are going to share our most intimate parts of ourselves, then the least a person can do is read our profile and respecting our personal wishes and desires.
I spent my teenage years being vilified by straight guys who would say "Don't come near me, you might try to bum me". He's never been interested in a straight guy in his life (well that's a lie... Hugh Jackman, call me!).
But in all seriousness can people just have the decency and respect to read a profile properly, make a very simple choice whether you meet what they want and then spend a whole minute or two actually constructing a personalised statement.
We don't go round messaging the hot straight guys asking if they want to be bi for the day. We check out their profile, see they are straight, wish they weren't and then move on.
People also have to understand we aren't here for your pleasure, we are here for ours. If the stars align, then our pleasure and your pleasure may just be part of the same constellation. "
I agree with everything you've said....bar the last paragraph.
Yes. We all have our wants, preferences, fantasies and desires. But the second you involve someone else, be it another couple or a single Prince, then their preferences and wants are just as important as yours.
Nobody is anyone else's plaything (OK, there's a few sun missives out there who may feel that they are, but that's their choice) and yes we all want to find people who suit outlr tastes and our ideas for what makes fir a fun encounter.
But both parties are equals. The single in a threesome is as important as the couple. It's not a question of hoping that 'the stars align' and everyone gets pleasure from a meet - that should be the aim of every encounter. If you really don't think you're there for their pleasure then sorry but that's not a great attitude to have.
You may have worded it in a way you didn't intend it to come across, but that's how it read to me.
When I was a single meeting couples the second I got any hint that my needs were less important than theirs I'd cut contact. There's no pecking order and nobody's desire for pleasure supercedes anyone else involved in a meet.
A |
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While I understand your need to vent, I have a (rhetorical) question for you - does the first half of your profile text show basic respect?
You said it yourself, you are here for your own pleasure. So try your best to ignore the people who don't suit you, this includes not engaging in conversation/arguing with anyone who isn't suitable, as outlined on your profile. You don't need to educate or make them see things your way, just block/forget. Save your attention for the people you're into! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We get exactly the same treatment. A minority don't bother reading our profile. It's really annoying. It has got worse over the last six months I would say. X"
I agree about the last 6 months, but I would say it’s the majority of messages.
It’s so tiresome. |
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By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in Co. Down |
I find it happens right across the board on here it's not just men who don't read my profile. I've had plenty of couples who completely ignore mine the fact I am straight and want me to be a plaything for them and to only play with the woman and put on a show for the man.
Does it bother me no not really I just delete the messages.But then I've very tight filters so I don't get a lot of messages and I actually have no issue when I'm looking to meet new people on looking for people who interest me and messaging them first rather than sitting back expecting them to message me. |
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By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in Co. Down |
"Why do people message without reading our profile. If we are going to share our most intimate parts of ourselves, then the least a person can do is read our profile and respecting our personal wishes and desires.
I spent my teenage years being vilified by straight guys who would say "Don't come near me, you might try to bum me". He's never been interested in a straight guy in his life (well that's a lie... Hugh Jackman, call me!).
But in all seriousness can people just have the decency and respect to read a profile properly, make a very simple choice whether you meet what they want and then spend a whole minute or two actually constructing a personalised statement.
We don't go round messaging the hot straight guys asking if they want to be bi for the day. We check out their profile, see they are straight, wish they weren't and then move on.
People also have to understand we aren't here for your pleasure, we are here for ours. If the stars align, then our pleasure and your pleasure may just be part of the same constellation.
I agree with everything you've said....bar the last paragraph.
Yes. We all have our wants, preferences, fantasies and desires. But the second you involve someone else, be it another couple or a single Prince, then their preferences and wants are just as important as yours.
Nobody is anyone else's plaything (OK, there's a few sun missives out there who may feel that they are, but that's their choice) and yes we all want to find people who suit outlr tastes and our ideas for what makes fir a fun encounter.
But both parties are equals. The single in a threesome is as important as the couple. It's not a question of hoping that 'the stars align' and everyone gets pleasure from a meet - that should be the aim of every encounter. If you really don't think you're there for their pleasure then sorry but that's not a great attitude to have.
You may have worded it in a way you didn't intend it to come across, but that's how it read to me.
When I was a single meeting couples the second I got any hint that my needs were less important than theirs I'd cut contact. There's no pecking order and nobody's desire for pleasure supercedes anyone else involved in a meet.
A "
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By *AYENCouple
over a year ago
Lincolnshire |
Why not block all messages and then respectfully message those that are of interest to you?
Getting annoyed by other people's behaviour is ridiculous when it can so easily be controlled.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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This site is designed for swingers however it has been hijacked by the lookie loos who think it is a Tinder-like knocking shop.
What many don't seem to understand is just because they see nude pictures it does not mean people will just meet for sex in an instant. They think of there is a naked woman / man, I can send a dumb email and you get sex.
This is as far from reality as you can get.
All you can do is change the filters etc and ignore the messages and if they are persistent or rude - block them.
There is no point in getting upset. |
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By *aughtycp1Couple
over a year ago
Leicestershire |
"This site is designed for swingers however it has been hijacked by the lookie loos who think it is a Tinder-like knocking shop.
What many don't seem to understand is just because they see nude pictures it does not mean people will just meet for sex in an instant. They think of there is a naked woman / man, I can send a dumb email and you get sex.
This is as far from reality as you can get.
All you can do is change the filters etc and ignore the messages and if they are persistent or rude - block them.
There is no point in getting upset."
I totally agree with this. It is sad to see this site changing from a swingers site to a form of tinder. We genuinely love the lifestyle and are here to chat and meet with genuine people in the lifestyle. Not people who just want a quick shag. |
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It seems to be the nature of a free sites like fab that many fire off messages without reading the profile.
Being here as a solo male I do get a few optimistic hopeful guys but these are easily weaned out (a pleasant surprise earlier this year when after a dialogue his girl friend was involved, unusual!)
I put up with this as the couples who I do get to meet make up for the wasted messages .... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Why do people message without reading our profile. If we are going to share our most intimate parts of ourselves, then the least a person can do is read our profile and respecting our personal wishes and desires.
I spent my teenage years being vilified by straight guys who would say "Don't come near me, you might try to bum me". He's never been interested in a straight guy in his life (well that's a lie... Hugh Jackman, call me!).
But in all seriousness can people just have the decency and respect to read a profile properly, make a very simple choice whether you meet what they want and then spend a whole minute or two actually constructing a personalised statement.
We don't go round messaging the hot straight guys asking if they want to be bi for the day. We check out their profile, see they are straight, wish they weren't and then move on.
People also have to understand we aren't here for your pleasure, we are here for ours. If the stars align, then our pleasure and your pleasure may just be part of the same constellation. "
People don't read profiles, one reason is that on mobile devices it is the last thing you see. Most are too busy wanking to engage any sense of reason. I send technical documents to people at work that do not get read so you have no chance. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Well I've taken some photos me feedback on board regarding our profile, it's very much welcome and I can see that it was out of self defence in response to the volume of idiots.
It really is a shame, we cannot filter. By sexuality, because there are a few that message us and we are definitely going to find the time to get to know a select few and hopefully take it further. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hi. I have the basic answer. A lot of guys will just look at petals pics and not metals and think they can rub their stick in petals face while metal is sat there jerking off.
They don't bother to read the profiles at all.
"
That is exactly right... Unfortunately... |
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By *issmorganWoman
over a year ago
Calderdale innit |
Its a good filter as you can see straight away who hasn't been arsed to read your profile .
You see it on threads all the time people saying it was too long so I didn't read it about a profile.
I often used to get couples asking me to join them as the last wants to explore her bi side,I'm totally straight.Or people from miles away asking to meet ,when I state I'd only be looking for locals.
If someone can't take 2 mins to just have a read ,it's an instant delete from me,can't have it both ways. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Well I've taken some photos me feedback on board regarding our profile, it's very much welcome and I can see that it was out of self defence in response to the volume of idiots.
It really is a shame, we cannot filter. By sexuality, because there are a few that message us and we are definitely going to find the time to get to know a select few and hopefully take it further. "
Do an Advanced search and look for couples where both are bi. Or look for men who are looking for men.
Then message the ones you are attracted to. Be proactive.  |
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