FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > That Bi Question .....again
That Bi Question .....again
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Yes we have lots of Bi orientated topics in the forums - but I wanted to pose another question;
To start, I am fully bisexual man , open to all here, but keep private outside of FAB's
On the times I meet MF couple or at mixed group sessions, will not shy away from enjoying a man's bum (if invited ), rimming , fucking etc, as much as I would a women bum
So why does it appear that in the main within FAB's, it is deemed dirtier for men to have anal sex with each other than a man to have anal sex with a women?
It's just an observation and a question
Discuss ..........
j xx  |
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"
So why does it appear that in the main within FAB's, it is deemed dirtier for men to have anal sex with each other than a man to have anal sex with a women?
It's just an observation and a question
Discuss ..........
j xx "
This is not something I have noticed. I have have found couples with a bi male often advertise this as a positive. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Thanks for the comments so far
I am not one for saying who etc , but there some that advertise the fact they want Bi - but in my experiences so far, a vast majority of them are the male looking for a Bi female either for himself using his "couples" profile as a cover or a female for his gf/wife
But i would also agree that there are some really nice genuine MF couples on here that like Bi men |
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I really don't see the evidence for homophobia on here. I know a few have said they wouldn't do male anal under any circumstances but that's a choice not a prejudice.
What I have noticed, having been around the scene for a few years, is how many more people are being open about their bi tastes, and how many are looking for that experience. A good trend in my view. |
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"I really don't see the evidence for homophobia on here. I know a few have said they wouldn't do male anal under any circumstances but that's a choice not a prejudice.
What I have noticed, having been around the scene for a few years, is how many more people are being open about their bi tastes, and how many are looking for that experience. A good trend in my view."
The specific question asked was why male on male anal sex was seen as "dirtier" than female on male.
The answer is homophobia.
The question was NOT why don't straight guys want to fuck men in the bum. That's not homophobia. |
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Plenty of couples/singles will look for women that are bi, or see them as no threat, as women that fuck women is acceptable.
A lot of couples/singles will avoid men that fuck men, even if that man is part of a couple and plays straight, because straight men’s egos can’t cope or maybe it’s a threat to their masculinity, hanging out with a guy that sucked a dick etc.
People state preferences - cool, but how about just be honest.
The double standards are BS, in our opinion.
 |
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I've seen this happen in person, sadly. I was at a party and at the start of the night, one of the women mentioned she'd pegged a man recently and enjoyed it. Cue several of the men making "oft, backs against the wall, lads" jokes. And yet every one of them has merrily rimmed and fucked women's asses before. I got up and left. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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To add into the mix of fab replies ....
Lots of men state "straight" but contact me for sex - mainly via fabguys agreed
Similar for some MF couples who say straight, but the men make contact saying "i fancy a bit of cock fun on the side"
Confused or what lol
J xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"To add into the mix of fab replies ....
Lots of men state "straight" but contact me for sex - mainly via fabguys agreed
Similar for some MF couples who say straight, but the men make contact saying "i fancy a bit of cock fun on the side"
Confused or what lol
J xx "
Another thing that puts people off bi men... they gleefully admit to lying. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"To add into the mix of fab replies ....
Lots of men state "straight" but contact me for sex - mainly via fabguys agreed
Similar for some MF couples who say straight, but the men make contact saying "i fancy a bit of cock fun on the side"
Confused or what lol
J xx
Another thing that puts people off bi men... they gleefully admit to lying. "
Well put  |
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"To add into the mix of fab replies ....
Lots of men state "straight" but contact me for sex - mainly via fabguys agreed
Similar for some MF couples who say straight, but the men make contact saying "i fancy a bit of cock fun on the side"
Confused or what lol
J xx
Another thing that puts people off bi men... they gleefully admit to lying. "
That’s a ridiculous statement, it’s the closeted straight/bi men that are lying.
The fact that it’s guys who declare they are straight who are contacting him on the side looking for cock play shows this. |
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I think like all labels there are varying degrees of being bi, straight, and gay and all terms inbetween
Am I bi? I don’t know…
I enjoy being pegged by wife and ass play, but never actually tried anything sexually with a male.
Am I attracted to males - no, but being open minded and curious to explore any new experience and being bottom/top/oral etc is something I want to explore. Will I enjoy it- who knows.
But I fall into camp of some couples not interested as my profile says bi, some couples are not interested as I’m not experienced or apparently some straight guys select bi to just get to female. But equally intimated by full on mm meet vs a bi couple experienced/willing to teach a shy/newbie
Might have more luck on lotto 
Last point I think there has been a social shift with women exploring their bi side and it’s acceptable helped by most straight guys fantasy of watching/partaking yet m-m it’s still almost a social taboo. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Quite a few of the couples in the north east who look for single guys and specific in pretty much block capitals no bi men have a number of meet / play verifications from m single "straight" guys who are the first names down for any bi nights at our local clubs lol.
Ultimately a lot of these couples who say no bi males are doing so as a lasting hangover from the HIV epidemic and how it was branded and sold to the public as the gay plague lets be honest about it.
KJ
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By *batMan
over a year ago
Alicante, Spain. (Sometimes in Wales) |
"Another thing that puts people off bi men... they gleefully admit to lying. "
What? All of them? That’s a bit sweeping isn’t it?
In my experience, men who are openly bi are not lying about being bi.
Gbat |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Tricky this. I'm straight on my profile cos I won't meet single men but I will and have played with a hubby as part of a 3 some. Is there a more suitable status for my sexuality then. |
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"Tricky this. I'm straight on my profile cos I won't meet single men but I will and have played with a hubby as part of a 3 some. Is there a more suitable status for my sexuality then. "
You can still put on your profile that you are bi and just don't select Men for what you are looking for |
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By *luns1Man
over a year ago
Preston |
This is a tricky one, I will say that I am straight but in the right circumstances I would not say no. However it would not be something I would try straight off the bat in a club. I would have to build up trust with the guy first. I'm not sure if the dirtier is referring to it being more taboo or that most men going to a club will not be prepared for anal being performed on them if you catch my drift. |
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By *irldnCouple
over a year ago
Brighton |
Ok just for some variety of replies...
We are a straight male bi female couple. Mrs B really enjoys sex with women as much as men, Mr B dabbled 20+ yrs ago in MFM situation and didn’t enjoy it. However, 23 years of swinging has seen a lot of very close proximity with DP, DV, and double blow jobs etc. Indeed a couple of times during DP the other man has “popped out” and needed a “helping hand” to get back in.
But saying all that, we as a couple have no desire and do not find male on male sex a turn on. So to avoid any possible confusion, we say no bi males.
Mr B is not so arrogant to think a bi male couldn’t resist him, but it is just easier to ensure everyone knows there are boundaries.
As to the OP and whether male on male anal sex is considered “dirtier”, I agree there is a degree of societal homophobia involved but there is also more to it than that (I think)...
Some gay men are enjoy very high risk sexual activity including drug fuelled orgies with multiple strangers.
Generally (yes this is a generalisation) men are more promiscuous then women and more likely to take risks when the little brain takes over. That creates a higher sense of risk that some couples deem a risk too far.
Much (not all of course) gay porn is pretty aggressive and there is an obsession with inserting ever larger objects into a man’s arse. Of course this aggressive trend and homo erotica is a growing trend in “straight porn” too.
Sure there are more reasons, but all of this creates an atmosphere that says, male on male sex is “dirtier”. Of course it isn’t but back to my opening point, we all just need to respect each other’s preferences and choices. |
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By *luns1Man
over a year ago
Preston |
I think you're spot on and it the main thing is to respect boundaries and not push them. If the other man pops out during DP I'll help him back in or my partner wants to do a double blow job I'm very comfortable with that. Guy on guy neither turns me on or off but as I say if the right person who I trust is there and the circumstances are right I'd try it. Unfortunately there will be bias which you're not conscious of. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"This is a tricky one, I will say that I am straight but in the right circumstances I would not say no. However it would not be something I would try straight off the bat in a club. I would have to build up trust with the guy first. I'm not sure if the dirtier is referring to it being more taboo or that most men going to a club will not be prepared for anal being performed on them if you catch my drift. "
Fair point about preparation. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Once again - thank you all for your contributions - much appreciated
The whole subject Bi sex pops up often enough, but I was trying to throw a different slant on it in a more direct way
J xx |
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"This is a tricky one, I will say that I am straight but in the right circumstances I would not say no. However it would not be something I would try straight off the bat in a club. I would have to build up trust with the guy first. I'm not sure if the dirtier is referring to it being more taboo or that most men going to a club will not be prepared for anal being performed on them if you catch my drift.
Fair point about preparation. "
Actually we have found the total opposite in clubs, the Bi guys come prepared way more often than the ladies |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"This is a tricky one, I will say that I am straight but in the right circumstances I would not say no. However it would not be something I would try straight off the bat in a club. I would have to build up trust with the guy first. I'm not sure if the dirtier is referring to it being more taboo or that most men going to a club will not be prepared for anal being performed on them if you catch my drift.
Fair point about preparation.
Actually we have found the total opposite in clubs, the Bi guys come prepared way more often than the ladies "
Preparation - Preparation - Preparation - or its NO ENTRY lol
J xx |
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I have always taken the approach that it's better to be vocal about your sexuality on here than hide it. For me, quality over quantity every time. So, it makes sense that you find people that accept (or even enjoy) whatever sexual proclivity you're after.
If you're openly bi, some people will be put off. Some will be turned on. The ones that are turned on are the ones you want to meet. |
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By *irldnCouple
over a year ago
Brighton |
"I have always taken the approach that it's better to be vocal about your sexuality on here than hide it. For me, quality over quantity every time. So, it makes sense that you find people that accept (or even enjoy) whatever sexual proclivity you're after.
If you're openly bi, some people will be put off. Some will be turned on. The ones that are turned on are the ones you want to meet."
amen to that. Spot on. Be yourself. Be honest. It may limit the volume of potential play partners but it will increase the quality/compatibility. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I just think it's prejudice and promiscuity. Some people associate male to male anal sex with AIDS and that bi and gay men are more promiscuous . I think people should be able in this lifestyle to be who they want and honesty is the key point to that but I can see how people struggle with that ,if so heavily judged |
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By *uzzlepageMan
over a year ago
Stratford-upon-Avon |
"I really don't see the evidence for homophobia on here. I know a few have said they wouldn't do male anal under any circumstances but that's a choice not a prejudice.
What I have noticed, having been around the scene for a few years, is how many more people are being open about their bi tastes, and how many are looking for that experience. A good trend in my view."
Totally agree |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Likewise I totally agree , being open and honest about your sexuality, and home life circumstance, might not always win you friends, but it is the right foundation
J xx |
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