FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > been put off meets
been put off meets
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Not sure I want to meet from the site anymore we've been messed around and had our time wasted loads!! On one meet we even had the girl get falling down d*unk so we left before any action we've been lied to and been pressured into doing things I don't want to do which I didn't do but the constant go on go on you'll do it you'll like it ruined the night for me!! I'm thinking maybe we should stick to meets at clubs? Ive liked the club scene so far and even if nothing happens its a good night out isn't it  |
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By *iewMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Angus & Findhorn |
if clubs suit best, it is wise to stick to them. sadly lat downs do cause impact and angst and often not worth it, no real golden rule apart from gut instinct
have loads of fun in the clubs and enjoy |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Hi C & L
Your not long here, so give it time and i see from your profile you have gathered quiet a few "friends" if its some of those your trying to meet etc and they are messing you about, just report them.
Picking who and where you meet is a tough one, but i do think you need to give it time; as for clubs; they are not for me anymore i find them to much of a "meat factory" environment and whilst thats sounds crude its based on the few visits i have had where the fem is expaected to fuck on demand or be iggnored.....its just my opinon ok  |
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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago
Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum |
Although I haven't had as many timewasters lately as I had when I started meeting on here, I am meeting one on one less because its such hard work! Trying to find a genuine local single guy who can accommodate is almost impossible so I much prefer clubs, or I take advantage of my hotel room when travelling. 
If you enjoy clubs and it fulfils your desires then go for it. You are not the first to say this, and at least you know if someone doesn't work out, there will be someone else to play with. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Sounds exactly like us, we've all but given up on meets from here and now just go to clubs and like you said if you get to play that's great but if not there's nothing lost |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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There is a sad, but inescapable fact about swinging when you hit the problem of bad, cancelled, messed about, and/or just plain disastrous meets and that is.... It's time to look in the mirror and take a long hard look at.... YOU.
When it comes to arranging private meets, the thing I have learned over many year is - you get back exactly what you put out.
Maybe you would do better in sticking to clubs for a while and learn from every experience. I'm still learning after 27 years...
Sorry to sound like a boring old fart, but.....
 Pork |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"There is a sad, but inescapable fact about swinging when you hit the problem of bad, cancelled, messed about, and/or just plain disastrous meets and that is.... It's time to look in the mirror and take a long hard look at.... YOU.
When it comes to arranging private meets, the thing I have learned over many year is - you get back exactly what you put out.
Maybe you would do better in sticking to clubs for a while and learn from every experience. I'm still learning after 27 years...
Sorry to sound like a boring old fart, but.....
Pork"
I kind of get what your angling at I think lol and your right we will stick to clubs for the time being |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Hi C & L
Your not long here, so give it time and i see from your profile you have gathered quiet a few "friends" if its some of those your trying to meet etc and they are messing you about, just report them.
Picking who and where you meet is a tough one, but i do think you need to give it time; as for clubs; they are not for me anymore i find them to much of a "meat factory" environment and whilst thats sounds crude its based on the few visits i have had where the fem is expaected to fuck on demand or be iggnored.....its just my opinon ok "
I've just down sized our list lol I need to keep him in check with who he's adding!!! I'm very cautious because of jobs etc he just adds Willy nilly!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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while I know this isnt a profile critique request..I'm just afraid ur profile is set out to attract such a narrow group base, its no wonder things arent going as well as u hoped.
When preferences on play become so tight and people 'complain' at the lack of genuine action etc, I would start checking how my profile is _iewed by others..and see if I could make it better and compromise for others needs.
my profile is fine...so I'm not complaining lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Hi C & L
Your not long here, so give it time and i see from your profile you have gathered quiet a few "friends" if its some of those your trying to meet etc and they are messing you about, just report them.
Picking who and where you meet is a tough one, but i do think you need to give it time; as for clubs; they are not for me anymore i find them to much of a "meat factory" environment and whilst thats sounds crude its based on the few visits i have had where the fem is expaected to fuck on demand or be iggnored.....its just my opinon ok I've just down sized our list lol I need to keep him in check with who he's adding!!! I'm very cautious because of jobs etc he just adds Willy nilly!! "
'He' needs to remember this is NOT Facebook.......
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Not nice, there are some lovely people on here, some of whom we class.as friends. Take your time, never feel pressured or scared to say no, if that dont work, try, fuck off, that may do the trick. Thankfully we have never been in that situation |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"while I know this isnt a profile critique request..I'm just afraid ur profile is set out to attract such a narrow group base, its no wonder things arent going as well as u hoped.
When preferences on play become so tight and people 'complain' at the lack of genuine action etc, I would start checking how my profile is _iewed by others..and see if I could make it better and compromise for others needs.
my profile is fine...so I'm not complaining lol"
but if we made our profile broader wouldn't that give people more false hope? Why compromise when I have very strict rules with how I play? We are very clear with our rules and during chatting repeatedly make sure they fully understandy our needs well my needs as the rule is soley mine I thought by being straight up honest with what we want we would only attract the kinds of people we want?  Oooo it can be very confusing!! Lol x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Hi C & L
Your not long here, so give it time and i see from your profile you have gathered quiet a few "friends" if its some of those your trying to meet etc and they are messing you about, just report them.
Picking who and where you meet is a tough one, but i do think you need to give it time; as for clubs; they are not for me anymore i find them to much of a "meat factory" environment and whilst thats sounds crude its based on the few visits i have had where the fem is expaected to fuck on demand or be iggnored.....its just my opinon ok I've just down sized our list lol I need to keep him in check with who he's adding!!! I'm very cautious because of jobs etc he just adds Willy nilly!! 'He' needs to remember this is NOT Facebook.......
"
he is going to get a kick in the pants tonight lol I'm taking over the profile I think the thing is he is easily pleased with all this its me who is fussy and has the stricter rules I'm going to ban his use of the profile unless I'm overseeing it lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"while I know this isnt a profile critique request..I'm just afraid ur profile is set out to attract such a narrow group base, its no wonder things arent going as well as u hoped.
When preferences on play become so tight and people 'complain' at the lack of genuine action etc, I would start checking how my profile is _iewed by others..and see if I could make it better and compromise for others needs.
my profile is fine...so I'm not complaining lol but if we made our profile broader wouldn't that give people more false hope? Why compromise when I have very strict rules with how I play? We are very clear with our rules and during chatting repeatedly make sure they fully understandy our needs well my needs as the rule is soley mine I thought by being straight up honest with what we want we would only attract the kinds of people we want? Oooo it can be very confusing!! Lol x "
Not criticising your profile in any way, but looking at it and what you have said above, would a more specialist BDSM contact site be better for you? Just a thought...
|
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Not nice, there are some lovely people on here, some of whom we class.as friends. Take your time, never feel pressured or scared to say no, if that dont work, try, fuck off, that may do the trick. Thankfully we have never been in that situation"
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Hi C & L
Your not long here, so give it time and i see from your profile you have gathered quiet a few "friends" if its some of those your trying to meet etc and they are messing you about, just report them.
Picking who and where you meet is a tough one, but i do think you need to give it time; as for clubs; they are not for me anymore i find them to much of a "meat factory" environment and whilst thats sounds crude its based on the few visits i have had where the fem is expaected to fuck on demand or be iggnored.....its just my opinon ok I've just down sized our list lol I need to keep him in check with who he's adding!!! I'm very cautious because of jobs etc he just adds Willy nilly!! 'He' needs to remember this is NOT Facebook.......
he is going to get a kick in the pants tonight lol I'm taking over the profile I think the thing is he is easily pleased with all this its me who is fussy and has the stricter rules I'm going to ban his use of the profile unless I'm overseeing it lol "
Ah..... now we're getting somewhere. Had a feeling your OP and your profile had been written by two different people.
Think you two need to have a good long talk about what you are BOTH looking for out of this, and this site, and take it from there.
Good luck - it'll work out.
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"while I know this isnt a profile critique request..I'm just afraid ur profile is set out to attract such a narrow group base, its no wonder things arent going as well as u hoped.
When preferences on play become so tight and people 'complain' at the lack of genuine action etc, I would start checking how my profile is _iewed by others..and see if I could make it better and compromise for others needs.
my profile is fine...so I'm not complaining lol but if we made our profile broader wouldn't that give people more false hope? Why compromise when I have very strict rules with how I play? We are very clear with our rules and during chatting repeatedly make sure they fully understandy our needs well my needs as the rule is soley mine I thought by being straight up honest with what we want we would only attract the kinds of people we want? Oooo it can be very confusing!! Lol x "
and thats precisely why I said u shouldnt be complaining lol...
I have a strict no bi-play(giving or receiving) on meets(theres been quite a rise in bi-couples here), it loses me meets at times, so I cant complain at that...if I did...well I have to change how I play. |
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By *ENDAROOSCouple
over a year ago
South West London / Surrey |
"Not sure I want to meet from the site anymore we've been messed around and had our time wasted loads!! On one meet we even had the girl get falling down d*unk so we left before any action we've been lied to and been pressured into doing things I don't want to do which I didn't do but the constant go on go on you'll do it you'll like it ruined the night for me!! I'm thinking maybe we should stick to meets at clubs? Ive liked the club scene so far and even if nothing happens its a good night out isn't it "
Don't take this the wrong way but maybe you are just not selecting who you meet very well.
We only tend to meet privately and in nearly 10 years can count the bad meets and no shows on our fingers.
|
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"while I know this isnt a profile critique request..I'm just afraid ur profile is set out to attract such a narrow group base, its no wonder things arent going as well as u hoped.
When preferences on play become so tight and people 'complain' at the lack of genuine action etc, I would start checking how my profile is _iewed by others..and see if I could make it better and compromise for others needs.
my profile is fine...so I'm not complaining lol but if we made our profile broader wouldn't that give people more false hope? Why compromise when I have very strict rules with how I play? We are very clear with our rules and during chatting repeatedly make sure they fully understandy our needs well my needs as the rule is soley mine I thought by being straight up honest with what we want we would only attract the kinds of people we want? Oooo it can be very confusing!! Lol x
and thats precisely why I said u shouldnt be complaining lol...
I have a strict no bi-play(giving or receiving) on meets(theres been quite a rise in bi-couples here), it loses me meets at times, so I cant complain at that...if I did...well I have to change how I play."
ah I see what you mean but I'm not complaining that we have lost because of it that's fine if we are not what they are looking for totally it was turning up to a meet with a supposedly "single bi fem" only to find her wanting her male friend to join us and even after explicitly telling her of our rules her feeble attempts to talk me into playing with him which as I've said I made clear in talking to her before the meet I did not do  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Not sure I want to meet from the site anymore we've been messed around and had our time wasted loads!! On one meet we even had the girl get falling down d*unk so we left before any action we've been lied to and been pressured into doing things I don't want to do which I didn't do but the constant go on go on you'll do it you'll like it ruined the night for me!! I'm thinking maybe we should stick to meets at clubs? Ive liked the club scene so far and even if nothing happens its a good night out isn't it
Don't take this the wrong way but maybe you are just not selecting who you meet very well.
We only tend to meet privately and in nearly 10 years can count the bad meets and no shows on our fingers.
"
I think your right more experience and research needed on our part!! Lol x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Hi C & L
Your not long here, so give it time and i see from your profile you have gathered quiet a few "friends" if its some of those your trying to meet etc and they are messing you about, just report them.
Picking who and where you meet is a tough one, but i do think you need to give it time; as for clubs; they are not for me anymore i find them to much of a "meat factory" environment and whilst thats sounds crude its based on the few visits i have had where the fem is expaected to fuck on demand or be iggnored.....its just my opinon ok I've just down sized our list lol I need to keep him in check with who he's adding!!! I'm very cautious because of jobs etc he just adds Willy nilly!! 'He' needs to remember this is NOT Facebook.......
he is going to get a kick in the pants tonight lol I'm taking over the profile I think the thing is he is easily pleased with all this its me who is fussy and has the stricter rules I'm going to ban his use of the profile unless I'm overseeing it lol
Ah..... now we're getting somewhere. Had a feeling your OP and your profile had been written by two different people.
Think you two need to have a good long talk about what you are BOTH looking for out of this, and this site, and take it from there.
Good luck - it'll work out.
"
thank you xx |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"while I know this isnt a profile critique request..I'm just afraid ur profile is set out to attract such a narrow group base, its no wonder things arent going as well as u hoped.
When preferences on play become so tight and people 'complain' at the lack of genuine action etc, I would start p how my profile is _iewed by others..and see if I could make it better and compromise for others needs.
my profile is fine...so I'm not complaining lol but if we made our profile broader wouldn't that give people more false hope? Why compromise when I have very strict rules with how I play? We are very clear with our rules and during chatting repeatedly make sure they fully understandy our needs well my needs as the rule is soley mine I thought by being straight up honest with what we want we would only attract the kinds of people we want? Oooo it can be very confusing!! Lol x
Not criticising your profile in any way, but looking at it and what you have said above, would a more specialist BDSM contact site be better for you? Just a thought...
"
hit the nail on the head!!! That's exactly what I have been thinking!! Any suggestions via pm gratefully received LOL! I am more drawn to the dungeons when we club whereas he likes the orgy rooms :S |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"while I know this isnt a profile critique request..I'm just afraid ur profile is set out to attract such a narrow group base, its no wonder things arent going as well as u hoped.
When preferences on play become so tight and people 'complain' at the lack of genuine action etc, I would start p how my profile is _iewed by others..and see if I could make it better and compromise for others needs.
my profile is fine...so I'm not complaining lol but if we made our profile broader wouldn't that give people more false hope? Why compromise when I have very strict rules with how I play? We are very clear with our rules and during chatting repeatedly make sure they fully understandy our needs well my needs as the rule is soley mine I thought by being straight up honest with what we want we would only attract the kinds of people we want? Oooo it can be very confusing!! Lol x
Not criticising your profile in any way, but looking at it and what you have said above, would a more specialist BDSM contact site be better for you? Just a thought...
hit the nail on the head!!! That's exactly what I have been thinking!! Any suggestions via pm gratefully received LOL! I am more drawn to the dungeons when we club whereas he likes the orgy rooms :S"
Can't help you on that one as it's not something we're into. How about putting a thread up in Support and Advice asking specifically for any suggestions from those on here who are?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"while I know this isnt a profile critique request..I'm just afraid ur profile is set out to attract such a narrow group base, its no wonder things arent going as well as u hoped.
When preferences on play become so tight and people 'complain' at the lack of genuine action etc, I would start p how my profile is _iewed by others..and see if I could make it better and compromise for others needs.
my profile is fine...so I'm not complaining lol but if we made our profile broader wouldn't that give people more false hope? Why compromise when I have very strict rules with how I play? We are very clear with our rules and during chatting repeatedly make sure they fully understandy our needs well my needs as the rule is soley mine I thought by being straight up honest with what we want we would only attract the kinds of people we want? Oooo it can be very confusing!! Lol x
Not criticising your profile in any way, but looking at it and what you have said above, would a more specialist BDSM contact site be better for you? Just a thought...
hit the nail on the head!!! That's exactly what I have been thinking!! Any suggestions via pm gratefully received LOL! I am more drawn to the dungeons when we club whereas he likes the orgy rooms :S Can't help you on that one as it's not something we're into. How about putting a thread up in Support and Advice asking specifically for any suggestions from those on here who are?
"
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Always do your research! We make sure we are totally comfortable with anyone we would choose to meet at a private meet. If you are comfortable with someone coming over for a non play meet, you'll be comfortable in a play meet. Clubs are a neutral venue we have found, which allows both parties to have a get out of jail free card!! lol That said, the choice of club can be equally perillous, for all the reasons stated above! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Always do your research! We make sure we are totally comfortable with anyone we would choose to meet at a private meet. If you are comfortable with someone coming over for a non play meet, you'll be comfortable in a play meet. Clubs are a neutral venue we have found, which allows both parties to have a get out of jail free card!! lol That said, the choice of club can be equally perillous, for all the reasons stated above!"
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