FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Do men target new female accounts
Do men target new female accounts
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If the lady is local, I’m within they bracket they are looking for and similar interests I’ll drop them a message saying hi and welcome to fab. Not really expecting a reply but sometimes they will message back, it’s interesting what brings them to join fab. |
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By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in Co. Down |
You do tend to get a load of messages when you first join . BUT most women joining are not vunerable and will realise pretty fast by actually looking at their account section there are filters to help stop the influx of mail.
I also don't agree they are targeted I think they get so many because men think if they get a message in quick to someone new there is more chance of it being read, unfortunately a load of men have the exact same idea. |
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I've typed out a few replies trying to express how I feel about this post but I've deleted them all and will settle for saying I find your tone extremely offensive. The use of the words target and vulnerable making out men here are dangerous predators is awful in my opinion. |
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"I've typed out a few replies trying to express how I feel about this post but I've deleted them all and will settle for saying I find your tone extremely offensive. The use of the words target and vulnerable making out men here are dangerous predators is awful in my opinion."
I agree.
The language is odd to say the least.
This is a site where one of the interaction points is via pm. Whether someone is new or not isnt a barrier to messaging them and nor should it be in my opinion.
If you feel targeted and vulnerable here then it may not be the place for you. Be absolutely clear about your interests and preferences on your profile and equally clear about what you do not want. Beyond that make good use of the filters.
Good luck
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've typed out a few replies trying to express how I feel about this post but I've deleted them all and will settle for saying I find your tone extremely offensive. The use of the words target and vulnerable making out men here are dangerous predators is awful in my opinion."
This is exactly what I meant. Inflammatory at best, perhaps intentionally. For the most part, men I’ve encountered on here have been nothing but respectful and polite, even when I’ve disagreed with them or said no. There have been the odd bad-mannered ones but even then not in a predatory way, and I think that’s more representative of people in general rather than men on fab. x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Vulnerable??? They logged into a sea swinging site.
I think I know what your trying to ask.
I can see why someone might, there’s less chance of many more spotting ‘new meat’ (excuse the phrase, but you know what that means). And your chance of being seen/read would be better.
I’m sure many will be thinking along these lines if they do, rather than they are vulnerable. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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yes men will message new women more and new couples more only because theres not many of them ie very few women or couples jion when there are 1,000s of me joining or rejoing every day |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I’m new but there seems to be a lot experienced men target new vulnerable woman. Is this a thing?"
I think this post is intentionally inflamatory. So you were contacted by men when you joined a swingers site which is prominently about sex, what exactly did you expect when you signed up? |
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"I've typed out a few replies trying to express how I feel about this post but I've deleted them all and will settle for saying I find your tone extremely offensive. The use of the words target and vulnerable making out men here are dangerous predators is awful in my opinion."
I’m definitely a predator. I’m totally shameless in my pursuit of hot guys I’d like to have rudies with!  |
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"I’m new but there seems to be a lot experienced men target new vulnerable woman. Is this a thing?"
I don’t specifically ’target’ a new single woman - but if you come up in my search and you are online (and we seem compatible) I will contact you. But to be honest, I’d do that if you’d been here years, too, if you also met my criteria.
So for me, it isn’t because you are new, or vulnerable. |
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"I’m new but there seems to be a lot experienced men target new vulnerable woman. Is this a thing?"
Does new make one vulnerable?
Welcome, I hope it hasn’t been (but I’m sure it has) too overwhelming!? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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there will be some who hope the woman is new new ie have no clue how things work these few men may take advantage of that nut that could apply to couples and other women too .... as ive said above men message because there are very few women or couples so they jump on the wagon quickly .... |
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"I was flooded with messages when I first joined. I had about 30 messages before I could upload a pic. I was in the hundreds before I even got verified. "
Lmao ,going by your pics that must be a daily occurrence  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I’m new but there seems to be a lot experienced men target new vulnerable woman. Is this a thing?"
Yes. I think the words you use are correct.
Funny how some men feel the need to mansplain your own (and many other women's) experience and feelings.
Probably their guilty conscience. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I was flooded with messages when I first joined. I had about 30 messages before I could upload a pic. I was in the hundreds before I even got verified.
Lmao ,going by your pics that must be a daily occurrence "
It's not as bad not and I put filters in place sometimes extra filters. Like I said this was before I even posted pics or had a proper profile setup. |
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"I was flooded with messages when I first joined. I had about 30 messages before I could upload a pic. I was in the hundreds before I even got verified.
Lmao ,going by your pics that must be a daily occurrence
It's not as bad not and I put filters in place sometimes extra filters. Like I said this was before I even posted pics or had a proper profile setup. "
Lol.i did get that ,its all the fun of the fair now ,sit back and enjoy |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The phrase "targeted" sounds a bit 'stalker-ish' to me. Not every guy on here is some kind of predater, granted some MAY be, but we don't specially target any women on here, new or not. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The phrase "targeted" sounds a bit 'stalker-ish' to me. Not every guy on here is some kind of predater, granted some MAY be, but we don't specially target any women on here, new or not."
you may find this hard to believe but there are all kinds on here just as in any other scene or walks of life .... ive had 2 stalkers in 28 years of being on this scene both dealt with by police |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I’m new but there seems to be a lot experienced men target new vulnerable woman. Is this a thing?
Men target anything.
Most don't care what is in your profile, they will bother you anyway."
 |
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New members, that haven’t set up filters, and have an empty block list, appear in more peoples’ searches.
Once you’ve been here long enough to have blocked the bulk of the idiots, and set message filters to out the majority of those who are going to be incompatible, I would imagine things would calm down.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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When I new female joins they receive messages from everyone, not because they are being 'targetted' or because they are ' vulnerable ' but because they are new and everyone is looking for the chance to meet a single (unicorn) woman..when I joined I certainly wasn't vulnerable, I knew exactly what I wanted and don't take the crap to heart. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My fwb used to be on here and she was forever being bombarded with repeated messages and often the same people with the same cheesy copy and paste filth  It used to be a game where I'd guess when random people would message after a new picture was posted! Funny for us but understandably frustrating for anyone new. Like someone else said, give it a couple of weeks and then just delete your inbox and go from there |
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By *la87Man
over a year ago
acton |
"It’s all about numbers for every one woman there are 100 men, don’t make you vulnerable
Thanks for telling women how they feel. "
Facts don't care about your feelings. You can feel whatever you feel but it doesn't make whatever conclusions you draw correct. I feel like you're probably a bitter man-hater. Does the fact that it's how I feel make it true?
It seems to me that the fact that new accounts flash as new in updates is why the new women are inundated. |
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"It’s all about numbers for every one woman there are 100 men, don’t make you vulnerable
Thanks for telling women how they feel.
Facts don't care about your feelings. You can feel whatever you feel but it doesn't make whatever conclusions you draw correct. I feel like you're probably a bitter man-hater. Does the fact that it's how I feel make it true?
It seems to me that the fact that new accounts flash as new in updates is why the new women are inundated."
Yes, we see this.
They probably inundate even the women that say no single guys.
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"I’m new but there seems to be a lot experienced men target new vulnerable woman. Is this a thing?"
New women and ones who've been on here for a long time do tend to get loads of messages. The use of the word vulnerable is a bit over the top,before you joined the site did you know what it was about? The best you can do is use the filters available and if you really feel vulnerable maybe this is not the right place for you at this moment in time x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Men are not predators and women aren't delicate little flowers who need protecting. A message is just an expression of interest between two consenting adults that's all. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It’s all about numbers for every one woman there are 100 men, don’t make you vulnerable
Thanks for telling women how they feel.
Facts don't care about your feelings. You can feel whatever you feel but it doesn't make whatever conclusions you draw correct. I feel like you're probably a bitter man-hater. Does the fact that it's how I feel make it true?
It seems to me that the fact that new accounts flash as new in updates is why the new women are inundated."
Bitter man hater sounds perfect. 
Start a new woman account and it's often the same men targeting them.
The majority of men are decent, just outnumbered.  |
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For men it is very much a numbers game you can send out dozens of messages and maybe get one reply if you’re lucky and quite often even that is a no thank you. So it is no surprise that women get a lot of messages. If you feel that receiving messages from interested guys makes you vulnerable then this probably isn’t the site for you. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It’s all about numbers for every one woman there are 100 men, don’t make you vulnerable
Thanks for telling women how they feel.
Facts don't care about your feelings. You can feel whatever you feel but it doesn't make whatever conclusions you draw correct. I feel like you're probably a bitter man-hater. Does the fact that it's how I feel make it true?
It seems to me that the fact that new accounts flash as new in updates is why the new women are inundated.
Bitter man hater sounds perfect.
Start a new woman account and it's often the same men targeting them.
The majority of men are decent, just outnumbered. "
This |
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"It’s all about numbers for every one woman there are 100 men, don’t make you vulnerable
Thanks for telling women how they feel.
Facts don't care about your feelings. You can feel whatever you feel but it doesn't make whatever conclusions you draw correct. I feel like you're probably a bitter man-hater. Does the fact that it's how I feel make it true?
It seems to me that the fact that new accounts flash as new in updates is why the new women are inundated.
Bitter man hater sounds perfect.
Start a new woman account and it's often the same men targeting them.
The majority of men are decent, just outnumbered.
This "
I'm intrigued in the new maths how the majority are outnumbered.. Pedant... I know. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It’s all about numbers for every one woman there are 100 men, don’t make you vulnerable
Thanks for telling women how they feel.
Facts don't care about your feelings. You can feel whatever you feel but it doesn't make whatever conclusions you draw correct. I feel like you're probably a bitter man-hater. Does the fact that it's how I feel make it true?
It seems to me that the fact that new accounts flash as new in updates is why the new women are inundated.
Bitter man hater sounds perfect.
Start a new woman account and it's often the same men targeting them.
The majority of men are decent, just outnumbered.
This
I'm intrigued in the new maths how the majority are outnumbered.. Pedant... I know. "
The majority of men are decent.
Men are outnumbered by women. |
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Let's not jump on the OP's choice of words, that is her right to express her feeling in her terms.
When I first joined, even before I had any pics on display, I had over 400 messages within the 1st hour  |
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By *sBlueWoman
over a year ago
Up North |
"Let's not jump on the OP's choice of words, that is her right to express her feeling in her terms.
When I first joined, even before I had any pics on display, I had over 400 messages within the 1st hour "
Same |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have a few good female friends and they tell me it doesn't really get any better with time - they still get bombarded with some really filthy messages and it is no wonder they get annoyed
Being polite and respecting peoples choices is sometimes lost on here
J xx  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
The majority of men are decent.
Men are outnumbered by women.
Surely not on here?
(Particularly with regard to outnumbering)"
Ha yeah oops wrong way round. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I’m new but there seems to be a lot experienced men target new vulnerable woman. Is this a thing?"
I can only speak for myself. Tbh with you new accounts tend to watch my profile or message me, if I think their pics look good I'll msg in return or send an initial msg but I don't search and target new accounts like some guys do. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I’m new but there seems to be a lot experienced men target new vulnerable woman. Is this a thing?"
I don't think they're looking for vulnerability but possibly exhausted all the options already available |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Nothing wrong with the words chosen in the OPs post. If that's how she feel from her own life experiences, then she isn't wrong! You men above who have condemned get have no right in telling her how she's been made to feel.
I was swamped with messages when I first joined. Like other ladies, that was before I had even put a pic up or written anything on my profile. I have filters up now and yet so many men still find ways around them.
I've had guys threatened me on here in all manner of ways including sexual assault and threatening to throw acid in my face after they finish stalking me. All because they don't like being told not interested no thanks.
Even had the same guy after guy message over and again despite not matching my very clear and polite profile requirements. Seems like some guys on here simply do not care what us women are looking for.
So yes indeed when it comes to men and women, us women are the vulnerable ones out of the two...especially on here. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I’m new but there seems to be a lot experienced men target new vulnerable woman. Is this a thing?"
I wouldn’t say vulnerable but some see it as an opportunity to get in early before the ladies inbox is unmanageable. Ashley has been on as a single for 3 years, and finds that most of the local women he’s attracted to he has messaged over the years so he finds that he now mainly only messages new people not out of malicious intent but more just because he hasn’t messaged them before |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I frequently delete my account and rejoin, i have found that the same people send the same copy band paste message every time. These are the desperados that stalk the new members and prey on fresh meat. Not everyone is like that though. There are some decent men hidden away. Best thing to de is decide what your looking for and adjust your message filters. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Nothing wrong with the words chosen in the OPs post. If that's how she feel from her own life experiences, then she isn't wrong! You men above who have condemned get have no right in telling her how she's been made to feel.
I was swamped with messages when I first joined. Like other ladies, that was before I had even put a pic up or written anything on my profile. I have filters up now and yet so many men still find ways around them.
I've had guys threatened me on here in all manner of ways including sexual assault and threatening to throw acid in my face after they finish stalking me. All because they don't like being told not interested no thanks.
Even had the same guy after guy message over and again despite not matching my very clear and polite profile requirements. Seems like some guys on here simply do not care what us women are looking for.
So yes indeed when it comes to men and women, us women are the vulnerable ones out of the two...especially on here."
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Let's face facts here. A female could have a completely blank profile, no photos, no text, and she would still get bombarded with messages telling her how gorgeous she is! Far too many horndogs on here lol. |
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Definitely I remember my first few weeks on here I was receiving so many messages hundreds of guys ,I had to hide my profile just to reply to them all if I didn’t I’d reply to one and have another one or two more and I’m nothing special, thankfully it’s calmed down now and I’m really enjoying myself xx |
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"Nothing wrong with the words chosen in the OPs post. If that's how she feel from her own life experiences, then she isn't wrong! You men above who have condemned get have no right in telling her how she's been made to feel.
I was swamped with messages when I first joined. Like other ladies, that was before I had even put a pic up or written anything on my profile. I have filters up now and yet so many men still find ways around them.
I've had guys threatened me on here in all manner of ways including sexual assault and threatening to throw acid in my face after they finish stalking me. All because they don't like being told not interested no thanks.
Even had the same guy after guy message over and again despite not matching my very clear and polite profile requirements. Seems like some guys on here simply do not care what us women are looking for.
So yes indeed when it comes to men and women, us women are the vulnerable ones out of the two...especially on here."
Have the women who ‘condemned’ got the right? Is it just the men? |
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By *la87Man
over a year ago
acton |
"
Bitter man hater sounds perfect.
Start a new woman account and it's often the same men targeting them.
The majority of men are decent, just outnumbered. "
Looking at your profile I can see why men messaging you would annoy lol you clearly say gay. And while I get the occasional man/TS approaching me I can imagine inundation from people I wasn't interested in would leave me strongly annoyed too. |
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There are definitely men on here who target new accounts. And there are definitely men on here who target vulnerable women.
Being new doesn’t necessarily make someone vulnerable, but if someone is truly hew to Fab they may be naive to some of the downsides so it’s in the interests of some guys to try and get chatting before someone gets to realise those downsides.
Pretending that there are no predatory men on here is just disingenuous. They are here, women encounter them often, and the whole “not all men are like that” just downplays it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Nothing wrong with the words chosen in the OPs post. If that's how she feel from her own life experiences, then she isn't wrong! You men above who have condemned get have no right in telling her how she's been made to feel.
I was swamped with messages when I first joined. Like other ladies, that was before I had even put a pic up or written anything on my profile. I have filters up now and yet so many men still find ways around them.
I've had guys threatened me on here in all manner of ways including sexual assault and threatening to throw acid in my face after they finish stalking me. All because they don't like being told not interested no thanks.
Even had the same guy after guy message over and again despite not matching my very clear and polite profile requirements. Seems like some guys on here simply do not care what us women are looking for.
So yes indeed when it comes to men and women, us women are the vulnerable ones out of the two...especially on here."
Sadly there's are lot of dangerous single male incels on Fab and it only increased ten fold since the pandemic.
These incels have zero success in real life because the blame there lack of success on females festering real hatred and quite frankly they are nasty, unpleasant potential abusers with zero personality social skills and social graces.
They come to fab thinking its going to be easier to find some "pussy" when they learn it's actually harder and the skills need to succeed here are the same as what's required in real life the frustration turns to anger. Once that dawns on them they move to trolling, abusing women and couples and worse there's multiple cases of them stalking / harassing people in real life. Most of of us know one or 2 swinging couples / females who have had to get the police involved at some stage.
It's why I get so irked by the guys who are single males defending single males how is the behaviour of some of these incels in anyway defensible?
The genuine single male singers who embrace and are a credit to the swinging scene are just as apalled at the behaviour of some single men on Fab.
KJ |
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"Maybe if you're vulnerable you shouldn't be on such a site?
The OP's meaning of vulnerable could be totally different from what you assume it to be. Bit harsh!"
I don't worry about the perceived meaning of vulnerable so long as it isn't pronounced as 'vunnribble'! |
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"Nothing wrong with the words chosen in the OPs post. If that's how she feel from her own life experiences, then she isn't wrong! You men above who have condemned get have no right in telling her how she's been made to feel.
I was swamped with messages when I first joined. Like other ladies, that was before I had even put a pic up or written anything on my profile. I have filters up now and yet so many men still find ways around them.
I've had guys threatened me on here in all manner of ways including sexual assault and threatening to throw acid in my face after they finish stalking me. All because they don't like being told not interested no thanks.
Even had the same guy after guy message over and again despite not matching my very clear and polite profile requirements. Seems like some guys on here simply do not care what us women are looking for.
So yes indeed when it comes to men and women, us women are the vulnerable ones out of the two...especially on here.
Sadly there's are lot of dangerous single male incels on Fab and it only increased ten fold since the pandemic.
These incels have zero success in real life because the blame there lack of success on females festering real hatred and quite frankly they are nasty, unpleasant potential abusers with zero personality social skills and social graces.
They come to fab thinking its going to be easier to find some "pussy" when they learn it's actually harder and the skills need to succeed here are the same as what's required in real life the frustration turns to anger. Once that dawns on them they move to trolling, abusing women and couples and worse there's multiple cases of them stalking / harassing people in real life. Most of of us know one or 2 swinging couples / females who have had to get the police involved at some stage.
It's why I get so irked by the guys who are single males defending single males how is the behaviour of some of these incels in anyway defensible?
The genuine single male singers who embrace and are a credit to the swinging scene are just as apalled at the behaviour of some single men on Fab.
KJ"
Singing swingers and songs for swingin lovers |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Maybe if you're vulnerable you shouldn't be on such a site?
The OP's meaning of vulnerable could be totally different from what you assume it to be. Bit harsh!"
Maybe you took my comment to be crappy towards the OP. I was simply suggesting that this is not the best environment for someone with emotional issues.
I was trying to look out for the op!! |
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