FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Why give me a hard time
Why give me a hard time
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Hi all, im really very new to all this even though ive been here for 9 months now, anyway im in need of advice.
Guy i met other day has made me feel pretty shit about myself because i met another, i feel cheap is the only way i can describe it. I was in such a good mood last night and this morning as met a really great guy off here last night who was a real gent and took very good care of me but now my bubble has burst dramatically so much and considering deleting my profile.
Im having hard time getting my head around it, why be like that?, he basically said that im obviously into fucking loads of men...im not though, just 2 friends that ive seen in 9mths.
Why do i feel so shit? Anyone else been through this? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Who is to say having loads of sexual encounters is bad???
It is ok for men to spread their seeds yet it is still frown upon if women like to have sex as often as men.
Tell them to mind their own business, and then block them and move on.
Narrow-minded peeps like that are not worth my bother.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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That is so unfair, and I have heard this from a few single ladies I have played with on her! Just cos I guy sleeps with you doesn't mean they own you! They need to appreciate this is a FUN site and a SWING site. As an idividual you owe nothing to anyone you meet...
Some guys just need to grow up and accept that you can meet who and when you like!
Sorry your bubble has been burst... |
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It's nothing to do with him whether you're "into fucking loads of guys"
The minute anyone I meet on here starts getting arsey about the fact I've met someone else or who else I've met or getting weird if I can't meet them for whatever reason...... They're gone, blocked and ignored.
I'm here to have fun with likeminded people, and jealous people aren't likeminded. |
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Sounds like he is in the wrong place not you.
Some men (and women), get clingy, think once they've met someone, they are their property.
Walk away with your head held high, ignore him, block him, and carry on having fun, however you choose to do it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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i dont think either of you have the right attitude for swinging,him for being a twat and chastising you for what, lets face it ,everyone comes to a swinging site,and you, for letting him make you feel so bad about yourself |
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If you feel shit you need to raise your self esteem.
I'd like to think that you are confusing 'feeling like shit' with ' being gobsmacked that such arseholes exist'
Problem is that jealous posessives exist in all walks of life. ESPECIALLY on the internet and on swinging/sex sites.
He is the one with problems and double standards.
He feels highly insecure.
You were supposed to be his free shag, his dripping tap his available pussy.
He feels threatened.
Don't put his feelings on yourself.
If you made your mind up that having different sex partners is okay for you then it's okay for you.
HE needs to handle it.
Don't bend so easily to manipulative twats. |
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Hi there
The world is full of dick heads, don’t let the words of one fool make you change your mind, do what it is you like most, and most of all enjoy yourself, we do , and like you we have had some crap of others, but in truth we are bigger and stronger than they are, no mater what you do there will be plonkers to ready to put you down, by quiting they win, by carrying on you win and have fun at the same time (bonus),,
Bye enjoy life
paul
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Op - this is typical when a girl gets a good meet , and why single guys get slated !
Quite simply the guy is jealous and possessive to put it nicely - and there are plenty like that in vanilla world - one kinda hopes that wouldn't be the case on a swinging site but people are people !!!!
Ignore him , take a deep breath and move on and perhaps make it clear that you are here for fun and not judgement ?
Take care  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Some people have more than 2 relationships in 9 months!
Don't delete your profile, he's the one that has issues not you. And tbh I think 2 in 9 months is pretty tame compared to some folk. Block him, dust yourself down and shout NEXT! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Thank you everyone, i really appreciate all advice given. They meet others so that's why im confused about why they giving me a hard time. But hey-ho move on, live and learn i guess. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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What a strange concept. We are all on a swinging site looking for uncomplicated sexual encounters surely. If we meet someone we really click with great but surely wed carry on swinging and having sex with others? Lol maybe he should try a dating site instead.
Xx |
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By *iewMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Angus & Findhorn |
I suggest never explaining or justifying your meets to any guy on here, if you want to meet loads or 1/2 that is your choice... if anyone questions, block and move on
good luck |
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By *B9 QueenWoman
over a year ago
Over the rainbow, under the bridge |
"Hi all, im really very new to all this even though ive been here for 9 months now, anyway im in need of advice.
Guy i met other day has made me feel pretty shit about myself because i met another, i feel cheap is the only way i can describe it. I was in such a good mood last night and this morning as met a really great guy off here last night who was a real gent and took very good care of me but now my bubble has burst dramatically so much and considering deleting my profile.
Im having hard time getting my head around it, why be like that?, he basically said that im obviously into fucking loads of men...im not though, just 2 friends that ive seen in 9mths.
Why do i feel so shit? Anyone else been through this?"
It doesn't matter how many men you shag. He's the one with the problem, not you. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"i dont think either of you have the right attitude for swinging,him for being a twat and chastising you for what, lets face it ,everyone comes to a swinging site,and you, for letting him make you feel so bad about yourself "
 Totally agree. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If you feel shit you need to raise your self esteem.
I'd like to think that you are confusing 'feeling like shit' with ' being gobsmacked that such arseholes exist'
Problem is that jealous posessives exist in all walks of life. ESPECIALLY on the internet and on swinging/sex sites.
He is the one with problems and double standards.
He feels highly insecure.
You were supposed to be his free shag, his dripping tap his available pussy.
He feels threatened.
Don't put his feelings on yourself.
If you made your mind up that having different sex partners is okay for you then it's okay for you.
HE needs to handle it.
Don't bend so easily to manipulative twats. "
Agree |
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By *ngelbiTVTV/TS
over a year ago
Dyserth, North Wales |
"Hi all, im really very new to all this even though ive been here for 9 months now, anyway im in need of advice.
Guy i met other day has made me feel pretty shit about myself because i met another, i feel cheap is the only way i can describe it. I was in such a good mood last night and this morning as met a really great guy off here last night who was a real gent and took very good care of me but now my bubble has burst dramatically so much and considering deleting my profile.
Im having hard time getting my head around it, why be like that?, he basically said that im obviously into fucking loads of men...im not though, just 2 friends that ive seen in 9mths.
Why do i feel so shit? Anyone else been through this?"
I really feel for you and these feeble men with their little egos need to grow up.
Don't be out off by the childish ones.
Angel xx |
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Maybe.........You're getting swinging & dating mixed up, Personally i deal with it this way (cos we;ve all played with someone we like more than we should)
If ive met someone via the site, i dont want or need to know where there kids go to school, how their mum is, has the lawn mower broken down - we meet cos we have a shared interest, fucking.
But if i meet someone in 'normal life' and we date, i do want to know and i do ask.
have fun, but my advice would be to not confuse the two emotions x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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@OP
Some have got to learn that just because they've shagged you, it doesn't guarantee exclusivity.
Those that don't get it will make responses like that, and make you feel bad as part of that behaviour. Don't feel bad - you've done nothing wrong.. either before you met this guy, or since.
Stay happy and have a good weekend 
Wolf |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Don't take any notice of the t**t.
He obviously has a huge problem and doesn't appreciate the fact that he managed to get a meet with such a lovely person, when there are infact many lovely guys on here who don't get meets, simply because a-holes like him ruin it for them.
Hold your head up girl, smile and move on, delete him there are plenty more fish in the fab sea who are much nicer |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Its a swinging site hun, not a relationship site. If he cant deal with that then he can get fucked. And he aint worth your time!! Its up to u who u have fun with. Happy swinging. Mick x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Thank you everyone, i really appreciate all advice given. They meet others so that's why im confused about why they giving me a hard time. But hey-ho move on, live and learn i guess."
.
Double standard indeed!
Block and move on, and enjoy yourself as you see fit I'd say.
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I am into fucking loads of men - which is why I'm on a swinging site! 
Anyone who has a hard time understanding that is a) on the wrong site and b) not someone I want to spend time with.
Jealousy and possessiveness has no place on here and the first hint gets a bit of straight talking from me, the second hint is bye-bye time.
And twisting it to make you feel bad because he can't cope with what he signed up for is pitiful. Block him, report any nasty messages and move on.
The beauty of the situation is that you will have a much easier time (and lots of fun) replacing him than he will replacing you!  |
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Like the others have said - ignore him and what he said and carry on enjoying yourself.
I had the same thing happen a few years ago.....a guy I'd played with several times started to get pushy over me meeting him.....then after a short while he sent me a message saying "I don't want to meet you anymore as you're shagging too many other men." That same evening, I went to a private party and when I arrived with a couple of friends - there was the guy. When he came over during the party and tried to play with me, I took great delight in saying "no thanks, I shag far too many men and you wouldn't really be happy playing with me" In throwing his dummy out of the pram all he had achieved was the guarantee that I'd never play with him again. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"See this is where I must be getting it all wrong here, I thought this was a swinging website you know, not match.com with less clothes.
Silly me.
"
Indeed |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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This is a swingers site, tell that twat to f@@k off. Idiot! Stay well clear of idiots like that! He's likely to become a stalker!! Trust me! I know!!! And you should be having more fun than you are girl! Yeeeeeehah!!! X |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"This is a swingers site, tell that twat to f@@k off. Idiot! Stay well clear of idiots like that! He's likely to become a stalker!! Trust me! I know!!! And you should be having more fun than you are girl! Yeeeeeehah!!! X"
haha good job i keep it away from home then..i dont have anyone back to mine thank god...crikey dya get stalkers??  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Bunny boilers are not exclusively female, and there had been reports of male bunny boilers in the past.
 "
haha male bunny boilers, that made me laugh |
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To the OP: you do say on your profile that you aren't here to meet loads of men. He might have read this to mean you would be happy with just one (insecure) man - just a thought. People sometimes interpret things the way they would like them to be.
But I do agree he is in the wrong place, if he wants a girlfriend he should join match (other dating services are available!).
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This guy is clearly dillusional and could have mental health issues:
Just because he comes across as a one-time good meet doesn't mean there's not some issue underneath.
He's on a swinging site where people, including himself, are looking for no strings sexy fun. And that's what it is.
No strings.
Fun.
He needs to get over it.
You go out and enjoy yourself and don't let this loser bother you.
You look gorgeous from here and I'm sure it would be a real shame for you and for the naughty, sexy peeps of the New Forest if you stopped playing.
Go Have Fun xxx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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maybe he is jealous because he cant get as many women as he would like to.
dont take too much notice of what they say, what they dont say to your face they will be saying behind your back anyway. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Thank you to everyone...im me and that's it...ive had some of the best conversations on here, made alot of wonderful friends and some great advice too |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"This is a swingers site, tell that twat to f@@k off. Idiot! Stay well clear of idiots like that! He's likely to become a stalker!! Trust me! I know!!! And you should be having more fun than you are girl! Yeeeeeehah!!! X
haha good job i keep it away from home then..i dont have anyone back to mine thank god...crikey dya get stalkers?? "
Unfortunately yes. I had a stalker and had to delete my profile to get rid of him. Had another since but he pretty much leaves me alone now. For now anyway.
They aren't all nutters. Some are nice. |
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Fab like sex is addictive but someone told me a while ago whilst i was having the same doubts as you after some people (I so wish i could name and shame) messed me around big time.
If you enjoy it Do it !
If you dont enjoy it Stop doing it !
but either way do what YOU want to do, and sod the small minded twats on fab.
There are plenty of decent people on this site who would be more than willing to enjoy your company without giving you any hassle xxx
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hi all, im really very new to all this even though ive been here for 9 months now, anyway im in need of advice.
Guy i met other day has made me feel pretty shit about myself because i met another, i feel cheap is the only way i can describe it. I was in such a good mood last night and this morning as met a really great guy off here last night who was a real gent and took very good care of me but now my bubble has burst dramatically so much and considering deleting my profile.
Im having hard time getting my head around it, why be like that?, he basically said that im obviously into fucking loads of men...im not though, just 2 friends that ive seen in 9mths.
Why do i feel so shit? Anyone else been through this?"
Right as a fellow single woman im telling you this guys out to upset you so ignor it
when a lot of men meet women they like to keep them close because re meeting you is easier than finding someone else to meet, but believe me hes on a swingers site too if he could find as many women to fuck as you can men he wouldnt give a flying toss about who you was meeting after he'd also be onto the next person
saying to someone who they have met on a swinging sites there are out to fuck as many men as possible just sounds like a child spitting his dummy out to me and a reather obvious and pointless statment to make
All hes doing is blowing off steam because you have met someone else and not him again
if you let it get to you hes won! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Great belive me love not all men r dickheads all i can say is sorry if he cant take the fact that we all need some loving b it kissin cuddlin fukin then he should sod off an go 2 pof x u enjoy love xxx |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Well i'm staying put...like i said i've made some really great friends on here and had the funniest conversations. And now i need some rest as i cant walk properly from last night haha |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Tell him to build a bridge and get over it... If he can't deal with it he shouldn't be here... Only you can decide what's right for you... Don't be bullied !! X |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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OP - you've got to get it into your head that his jealousy/need to control is HIS problem and NOT yours.
He has no right to make any comment on who else you meet off here or anywhere else - that is not what Swinging is about.
Deep breath - block him - and then kick his ass into the kerb!
 Pork |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hi all, im really very new to all this even though ive been here for 9 months now, anyway im in need of advice.
Guy i met other day has made me feel pretty shit about myself because i met another, i feel cheap is the only way i can describe it. I was in such a good mood last night and this morning as met a really great guy off here last night who was a real gent and took very good care of me but now my bubble has burst dramatically so much and considering deleting my profile.
Im having hard time getting my head around it, why be like that?, he basically said that im obviously into fucking loads of men...im not though, just 2 friends that ive seen in 9mths.
Why do i feel so shit? Anyone else been through this?"
I've had this once or twice...they usually go away when I forward them the link to the likes of POF or Match! If you never offered him any kind of commitment or first dibs on you then just cut your ties with him and move on. I meet lots of guys and enjoy it, it's my business and no-one elses. Don't let someone else make you feel cheap for doing something you enjoy and being upfront and honest about it. Although if he has managed to make you feel cheap is swinging really for you...I've been told several times (usually by men I've knocked back!) that I'm a cheap slag etc but I don't let their opinion stop me having fun or make me doubt what I'm doing x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Who is to say having loads of sexual encounters is bad???
It is ok for men to spread their seeds yet it is still frown upon if women like to have sex as often as men.
Tell them to mind their own business, and then block them and move on.
Narrow-minded peeps like that are not worth my bother. "
Couldn't put it better! This site is just like any other social situation, and u will always meet good people bad people and jealous people. The truth is its none of his business who you meet, as long as you stay safe and that you're actually enjoying yourself x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Hi all, im really very new to all this even though ive been here for 9 months now, anyway im in need of advice.
Guy i met other day has made me feel pretty shit about myself because i met another, i feel cheap is the only way i can describe it. I was in such a good mood last night and this morning as met a really great guy off here last night who was a real gent and took very good care of me but now my bubble has burst dramatically so much and considering deleting my profile.
Im having hard time getting my head around it, why be like that?, he basically said that im obviously into fucking loads of men...im not though, just 2 friends that ive seen in 9mths.
Why do i feel so shit? Anyone else been through this?
I've had this once or twice...they usually go away when I forward them the link to the likes of POF or Match! If you never offered him any kind of commitment or first dibs on you then just cut your ties with him and move on. I meet lots of guys and enjoy it, it's my business and no-one elses. Don't let someone else make you feel cheap for doing something you enjoy and being upfront and honest about it. Although if he has managed to make you feel cheap is swinging really for you...I've been told several times (usually by men I've knocked back!) that I'm a cheap slag etc but I don't let their opinion stop me having fun or make me doubt what I'm doing x"
Just some not nice things he said but madness as he's met a few off here himself...was just a bit of a shock to have that kind of reaction from someone..i don't doubt myself at all in anyway now knowing that others on here have had the same...was just a shock first thing in the morning being interrogated. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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nothing to do with him babe your life and ur fun fuck who ever you want no doubt he does and you shouldnt feel bad its a swingers site for gods sake thats what we do xxxx |
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Oh my! first off I am a great believer on the 'other foot senario'. In his instance ask him why he feels he able to comment on what you do and don't do, when you are on a swinging site and its damn obvious he swinging too!! I would also agree with others ,, and add, people can only make us feel inferia if WE allow that!! Enjoy yourself making your own choices, we not put on this earth to feel we need justify our actions to others, we come into this world unique, don't go out a copy! Do what makes you happy and don't worry bout his assumptions .. you yourself know the truth!! X |
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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago
(She/ her) in Sensualityland |
"If you feel shit you need to raise your self esteem.
I'd like to think that you are confusing 'feeling like shit' with ' being gobsmacked that such arseholes exist'
Problem is that jealous posessives exist in all walks of life. ESPECIALLY on the internet and on swinging/sex sites.
He is the one with problems and double standards.
He feels highly insecure.
You were supposed to be his free shag, his dripping tap his available pussy.
He feels threatened.
Don't put his feelings on yourself.
If you made your mind up that having different sex partners is okay for you then it's okay for you.
HE needs to handle it.
Don't bend so easily to manipulative twats. "
I agree with Granny - people sometimes try and manipulate others into feeling bad so that they themselves can feel better or even pursue another goal (like securing a woman for future shags).
This is entirely HIS baggage.. so should be ignored. |
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I hope you've got or will get a play phone so that you can switch any numpties off.
Supermarkets sell basic ones for ten - twenty quid and new sim cards can be got for a pound or even free if you do get hassle. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I hide my verifications and friends list from Day 1, and does not appear to have done me any harm.
No one knows how much fun I have had except me!
"
And thats how it should be!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hi all, im really very new to all this even though ive been here for 9 months now, anyway im in need of advice.
Guy i met other day has made me feel pretty shit about myself because i met another, i feel cheap is the only way i can describe it. I was in such a good mood last night and this morning as met a really great guy off here last night who was a real gent and took very good care of me but now my bubble has burst dramatically so much and considering deleting my profile.
Name and shame him.
Im having hard time getting my head around it, why be like that?, he basically said that im obviously into fucking loads of men...im not though, just 2 friends that ive seen in 9mths.
Why do i feel so shit? Anyone else been through this?"
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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two sides to every story...
could be a case of a long winded built up meet(with the judger), possibly leading to differing ideas on what the meet was supposed to be
its a reason I cant stand ppl saying useless comments about ppl having too many meets...I meet ppl for fun, when they start judging me on how much I meet or who I meet..its time to tell them to fuck off and annoy someone else |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think the simple answer here is to be clear about expectations and reasons for meeting!
People use this site for all kinds of reasons - casual fun, occasional repeat meets, searching for a FB - and if you read many profiles accurately - "more isn't out of the question" crops up regularly!
Doesn't bother me how people choose to use Fab so long as they understand my motives. I have friends who are open about giving up should they meet the right person, on here or elsewhere. I still meet/chat with them - as they know that person will never be me. But I'd never tell anyone they're here for the wrong reasons as long as they show me respect and don't try to 'change my mind'. Being clear in your profile and communications goes a long way to avoiding this situation - as do clear 'post-meet' chats about what - if anything will ever happen next. |
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think i may be inclined to block anyone who said such a thing.. we are after all on a swingers site not a dating site !
I dont understand why a person would think that just because youve slept with him/her then you should not meet anyone else for sex ?? wierd to me ! |
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Wait a few days then send him a message saying "ha! ha! I've had sex with 10 more".
I had a lady fuckbuddy who wanted to fuck 100 men. I was number 46 and encouraged her with the next few, some of which we both met. It was all great fun. The more the merrier. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"two sides to every story...
could be a case of a long winded built up meet(with the judger), possibly leading to differing ideas on what the meet was supposed to be
its a reason I cant stand ppl saying useless comments about ppl having too many meets...I meet ppl for fun, when they start judging me on how much I meet or who I meet..its time to tell them to fuck off and annoy someone else"
turns out he thinks its dirty if a women meets too many men...well wtf is he doing on here then is my question??.... and i would never name and shame. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"two sides to every story...
could be a case of a long winded built up meet(with the judger), possibly leading to differing ideas on what the meet was supposed to be
its a reason I cant stand ppl saying useless comments about ppl having too many meets...I meet ppl for fun, when they start judging me on how much I meet or who I meet..its time to tell them to fuck off and annoy someone else
turns out he thinks its dirty if a women meets too many men...well wtf is he doing on here then is my question??.... and i would never name and shame."
ah well bollox is what i say...i had a bloody good time last night and will definitely be doing it all again |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"two sides to every story...
could be a case of a long winded built up meet(with the judger), possibly leading to differing ideas on what the meet was supposed to be
its a reason I cant stand ppl saying useless comments about ppl having too many meets...I meet ppl for fun, when they start judging me on how much I meet or who I meet..its time to tell them to fuck off and annoy someone else
turns out he thinks its dirty if a women meets too many men...well wtf is he doing on here then is my question??.... and i would never name and shame."
totally agree with u, but like i say...some people have different ways of communicating..like constant texting/phonecalls etc, building up rappors etc ...I on the other hand rarely do that..I'm not saving myself or my time for anyone in particular..and will meet when theres a meet avail, and not worry about what will another person be thinking if i have 4,5,6 meets before them.
Of course its entirely not on, telling anyone..even on a dating site,that they cant meet who they like.
swinging is swinging
casual sex is casual sex
dating is dating
a relationship is a relationship(thats the only one that should concern two people) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Could be you just burst his bubble! He probably can't accept you could possibly desire anything but his cock once you've sampled it!
We have a f*ck phone (p a y g) that is used purely for swing contacts. We find that works well in these situations.
.xX Jo Xx. |
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By *ENGUYMan
over a year ago
Hull |
Some guys just don't get it, do they??
If you could possibly get him to log in on here, he would see that his ancient _iews and lack of joined-up thinking and logic make him in the "minority of One!"
He is as Dead as a Dodo!
Forget him! Move on! He isn't even worthy of being included as a representative of the male species!
There are far more genuine guys out there! Go find 'em girl! |
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