Does anyone else feel bad when they don't cum before their partner or wanting to cum after them?
For me it's a struggle to cum, so if my partner cums first I like him to get involved helping me to finish sometimes. I know not to expect that all the time, it's not always about cumming.
I just wish it was so much easier for me as a female to cum like a man  |
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I feel exactly the same from the other side.
I've had to accept that I won't always, and annoyingly have to explain it to people so 'they' don't get upset and think it's down to them. Everyone thinks men cum easy.
I've just learned to enjoy the journey. |
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By *liXbigMan
over a year ago
Wellington |
"I feel exactly the same from the other side.
I've had to accept that I won't always, and annoyingly have to explain it to people so 'they' don't get upset and think it's down to them. Everyone thinks men cum easy.
I've just learned to enjoy the journey. "
Absolutely! Just enjoy the journey... |
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"I feel exactly the same from the other side.
I've had to accept that I won't always, and annoyingly have to explain it to people so 'they' don't get upset and think it's down to them. Everyone thinks men cum easy.
I've just learned to enjoy the journey. "
This |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It's a very mixed bag. I've been with at least two women that before we even started declared that they generally don't orgasm - bit of a dampener and also a challenge. They both took a considerable amount of attention to mood and body to climax.
On the other hand I've been with women that climax practically by whispering in their ear and touching them through their knickers.
Myself I've been through phases where I've had to take medication to prevent chronic premature ejaculation and had nights where no matter how hard, fast, sensual or slow I go Yadda - squirty Mac cock splat is staying firmly hidden at home 
Sex is quite literally mental |
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"Does anyone else feel bad when they don't cum before their partner or wanting to cum after them?
For me it's a struggle to cum, so if my partner cums first I like him to get involved helping me to finish sometimes. I know not to expect that all the time, it's not always about cumming.
I just wish it was so much easier for me as a female to cum like a man "
I really struggle to cum and I think my wife has finally accepted this and stopped feeling guilty. I always tell her its the act and more importantly her that I enjoy. I also have had meets where I don't cum and have always warned them first to put their mind at ease. The way I see it is as long as everyone had fun then happy days. |
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Hi OP
First of all, you look stunning. X
Everyone is different, it should be ok not to cum, and ok not to have the desire to cum.
Maybe though if you feel like you want to cum, a partner who is tuned to your desires and body should always be prepared to help in any way. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Does anyone else feel bad when they don't cum before their partner or wanting to cum after them?
For me it's a struggle to cum, so if my partner cums first I like him to get involved helping me to finish sometimes. I know not to expect that all the time, it's not always about cumming.
I just wish it was so much easier for me as a female to cum like a man "
I cant help but think the answers havent addressed the question.
It does surprise me the number of times I've been told that on meets that once the single guy is done he's pretty much out the door.
Maybe try and find people or meets where they're much more focused on you? There's a reason so many women like submission and domination fantasies. It's all about them in a good way. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I have the way opposite problem, I can cum in seconds, which isnt a good thing most of the time!"
Search it up - I used some fairly effective medication for that in the past |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Does anyone else feel bad when they don't cum before their partner or wanting to cum after them?
For me it's a struggle to cum, so if my partner cums first I like him to get involved helping me to finish sometimes. I know not to expect that all the time, it's not always about cumming.
I just wish it was so much easier for me as a female to cum like a man "
If you want to cum then he should help if you want him to. If he has cum and then ignores you I wouldn't meet him again. |
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By *arkmanMan
over a year ago
hounslow |
As I’ve gotten older, I don’t ejaculate anything like I did in my youth but this does not impede my enjoyment of sex in any way. Where my partner is concerned, I will always try to ensure they get maximum enjoyment, it is surely the correct thing to do. |
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"I feel exactly the same from the other side.
I've had to accept that I won't always, and annoyingly have to explain it to people so 'they' don't get upset and think it's down to them. Everyone thinks men cum easy.
I've just learned to enjoy the journey. "
I'm glad I'm not the only in this situation.
I don't always cum...but I always enjoy myself  |
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By *icknHMan
over a year ago
Ilfracombe |
Sometimes I find it difficult to cum and it’s great when ladies accept it and enjoy helping in different ways. In the opposite way I’m eternally grateful to ladies that communicate well so that I can better help the magic along |
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By *icknHMan
over a year ago
Ilfracombe |
"I feel exactly the same from the other side.
I've had to accept that I won't always, and annoyingly have to explain it to people so 'they' don't get upset and think it's down to them. Everyone thinks men cum easy.
I've just learned to enjoy the journey. "
100% journey is often better than destination I find |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I had a couple of meets where the guy didn’t cum. I found it a bit unnerving to be honest. He explained that he just isn’t sensitive down there and often doesn’t but it was odd. Not judging or anything and the sex was amazing for me but it did kind of leave me questioning my own abilities  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Not over here. Sometimes it is him and other times it is her, in our relationship. We keep going and aren't the come only once sort of couple. Perhaps it is about your own feelings on your sexual attitude. You are there to enjoy yourself and prsumably to enjoy your partner at the same time. No doubt he/she is the same. Let go of the hang ups and enjoy all you can, they will enjoy it more and you will enjoy it more to know they are enjoying it more. |
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I don’t feel bad if I don’t cum. Like I love cumming but i still have a great time and can feel satisfied without. I feel like there is too much expectation around cumming sometimes.
I do tend to want to just keep on going until he cums though. Like even if we both know
It’s going to take a while. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I never cum with a condom, it's never happened, can count on one hand the amount of times I've cum from a BJ.
Still have incredible sex without, about so much more than that. Some have been put out by my inability to cum, thinking its them. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I feel exactly the same from the other side.
I've had to accept that I won't always, and annoyingly have to explain it to people so 'they' don't get upset and think it's down to them. Everyone thinks men cum easy.
I've just learned to enjoy the journey. "
Literally this. I don’t always either and have had to explain to partners. Seriously, I enjoyed myself there’s just no mess to clean up!  |
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"I feel exactly the same from the other side.
I've had to accept that I won't always, and annoyingly have to explain it to people so 'they' don't get upset and think it's down to them. Everyone thinks men cum easy.
I've just learned to enjoy the journey.
Literally this. I don’t always either and have had to explain to partners. Seriously, I enjoyed myself there’s just no mess to clean up! "
I think they can usually tell I've enjoyed it when I have a stupidly big grin on my face  |
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So if you’re a guy and you just can’t cum, would you rather she keep on going with you. Or just stop when you feel like stopping? I’ve always kind of plowed on with oral if they can’t cum with sex. But I wonder if that adds pressure |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I’m extremely fortunate as my wife cums quickly and easily so normally can get here there 3-4 times before I do. I’m very lucky as it takes pressure off me to perform |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So if you’re a guy and you just can’t cum, would you rather she keep on going with you. Or just stop when you feel like stopping? I’ve always kind of plowed on with oral if they can’t cum with sex. But I wonder if that adds pressure "
On the very very rare occasion I haven’t been able to cum I’ve just went until I get tired. I enjoy myself as long as the other party is enjoying it so it’s not the end of the world. |
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By *inx.x3Woman
over a year ago
Bath |
Iv sometimes feel bad as on one occasion I could tell the bloke was getting annoyed that I hadn’t cum and with all his trying it didn’t happen and with another bloke I also got the vibe he was getting irritated after a few sessions so I just ended up faking it |
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Hubby has Olympic level self control and loves to edge for ages. He can go days or weeks without coming even though he wanks every night if we don’t play. Whilst I originally found it disconcerting, I now realise it is his thing and love teasing him mercilessly! When he does cum it is such a thrill, and since he is a heavy shooter I always get covered, I love seeing it glisten on my pvc.
Everyone is different and as long as people understand the reason, then it’s all good. |
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"Iv sometimes feel bad as on one occasion I could tell the bloke was getting annoyed that I hadn’t cum and with all his trying it didn’t happen and with another bloke I also got the vibe he was getting irritated after a few sessions so I just ended up faking it"
I've yet to fake it. I hope I never have to fake it. It just sucks having to ask. I mean I could just masturbate after to get job done but I like the intimacy  |
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"So if you’re a guy and you just can’t cum, would you rather she keep on going with you. Or just stop when you feel like stopping? I’ve always kind of plowed on with oral if they can’t cum with sex. But I wonder if that adds pressure "
It just gives a chance to keep trying different things having fun, till we are both exhausted or have to do something else.
I'd get bored if someone kept doing the same thing just to try making me cum.
Also for me, oral is a lot less likely to make me cum than sex, or being wanked (which is an act many women seem to have abandoned  ) |
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"Does anyone else feel bad when they don't cum before their partner or wanting to cum after them?
For me it's a struggle to cum, so if my partner cums first I like him to get involved helping me to finish sometimes. I know not to expect that all the time, it's not always about cumming.
I just wish it was so much easier for me as a female to cum like a man "
I always try to let Lucy cum first but if she doesn’t during sex then she knows and I encourage her to let me lick her until she does cum.
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Cherry orgasms very easily, Tony no problem getting hard and cumming 'if everything is good'. That is often the issue for many, maybe you too ?
Tony only has issues when not shown true desire and returned affection. He's not at all interested in mechanical sex however sexy the girl is, there has to be a connection and shared desire for each other. Bright lights, loud music, rushed or uncomfortable sex and someone frantically wanking him are huge turn off's too.
Is something bothering you ?, mind elsewhere, stressed over something or feeling under undue pressure to orgasm ?. Think back to an occasion when you orgasmed easily, what was the environment and your state of mind ?. Make sure the environment makes you comfortable and time isn't an issue, relax and take things slowly. Enjoy the time but forget about orgasms, relax, enjoy... |
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"Cherry orgasms very easily, Tony no problem getting hard and cumming 'if everything is good'. That is often the issue for many, maybe you too ?
Tony only has issues when not shown true desire and returned affection. He's not at all interested in mechanical sex however sexy the girl is, there has to be a connection and shared desire for each other. Bright lights, loud music, rushed or uncomfortable sex and someone frantically wanking him are huge turn off's too.
Is something bothering you ?, mind elsewhere, stressed over something or feeling under undue pressure to orgasm ?. Think back to an occasion when you orgasmed easily, what was the environment and your state of mind ?. Make sure the environment makes you comfortable and time isn't an issue, relax and take things slowly. Enjoy the time but forget about orgasms, relax, enjoy..."
That is very much like me.
I need to feel desired, without that it's unlikely I'll even get hard.
Show me a little effection though, even. just a kiss... that does it.
Cumming is something else though. It's never been easy.
It is almost certainly a mental issue, and one I'm hoping improves now I've started to relieve all the stress and trauma I've carried since a kid. |
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