FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Is it wrong to be picky?
Is it wrong to be picky?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Looking for my first swinging experience with my FWB but struggling to find the man/couple as I’m feeling too picky - I just want the first to be as my fantasy plays out!
Any advice welcome |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Don't overthink it. Nothing in life is 'perfect'. You'll have way more fun just rolling with it if you 'click' with someone...
I've had some 'meh' experiences, also some absolutely tremendous! But essentially it's all just been a 'fuck' (even if I've come away with a friendship). Just have fun with it.
Bottom line - it could be absolutely shite! But who hasn't had a crap shag before? And well you don't know if you don't try  |
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"Looking for my first swinging experience with my FWB but struggling to find the man/couple as I’m feeling too picky - I just want the first to be as my fantasy plays out!
Any advice welcome "
Put as much info as possible about what you’re looking for on your profile text.
It may put some people off, but it could point that one or two special people in your direction, if they happen to fit the bill.
Nothing wrong with being picky, we all have our preferences. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Looking for my first swinging experience with my FWB but struggling to find the man/couple as I’m feeling too picky - I just want the first to be as my fantasy plays out!
Any advice welcome "
There's nothing wrong with being too picky xx im sure that you will be able to find someone who is compatible with you x keep searching and someone will eventually be the one you are looking for x  |
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By *ammo89Man
over a year ago
Aberdeen |
"Looking for my first swinging experience with my FWB but struggling to find the man/couple as I’m feeling too picky - I just want the first to be as my fantasy plays out!
Any advice welcome "
Every woman and couple on here are extremely picky, so there's no reason you shouldn't be too  .
There are dozens of single guys for every couple and woman on here, so you may as well take advantage of it.
Choose the top 10% of guys, while the rest of us ugly guys do what we can :D |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Looking for my first swinging experience with my FWB but struggling to find the man/couple as I’m feeling too picky - I just want the first to be as my fantasy plays out!
Any advice welcome "
Take your time be as picky as you want because the first time can make or brake your enjoyment going forward .meet the people your interested in pursuing this experience with face to face for a friendly coffee or drink .trust your gut on these meets if for some reason your gut instinct says something is off with them .move on with your search above all be true to yourself in what you want the experience to be .
Maybe you'd like to start with soft play first I.E kissing and groping with the persons your interested in and if that goes well you can proceed from there .
I don't know you only you know you inner comfort level with how fast you like to go from 0 to full sex with someone . Maybe you need a fair be of socialising first before you feel unfotmrtable enough to move forward maybe you don't.
Be true to your own comfort level not the level of those your interested in sex with .
Sex is often a compromise and those who don't want to go at your pace can move on this is your fantasy just as much as it maybe there's So they should be willing to proceed at your pace to forfill the fantasy as your the newbie you should be afford that comfort without even having to ask for it .
Thats my thoughts on your question hope it helps and like I said above all be true to yourself in what you want .
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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There’s no such thing as perfect. One thing I’ve learned on here is that if it feels right, do it, if it doesn’t then don’t. But don’t compromise your standards or what you’re willing to do. x |
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I'm extremely picky and your level of pickiness is based on what you are actually looking for.
If I was content with a quick shag I could easily have had a lot more than the 7 play meets I've had in 5 years but that's not what I'm here for.
Ask yourself if compromising on what you really want will work long term? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We’re extremely picky, not in the wanting a Tom Hardy lookalike sense but more if one slight thing isn’t right we won’t meet.
At the end of the day this is your fantasy and you shouldn’t have to compromise on what you want. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Looking for my first swinging experience with my FWB but struggling to find the man/couple as I’m feeling too picky - I just want the first to be as my fantasy plays out!
Any advice welcome "
Do you have a couple profile with him?
Is he looking for the same as you or will he fuck whoever you pick? |
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By *vetteBondTV/TS
over a year ago
English Riviera |
"Looking for my first swinging experience with my FWB but struggling to find the man/couple as I’m feeling too picky - I just want the first to be as my fantasy plays out!
Any advice welcome "
Patience! There's an inordinate amount of guys out there and it'll take time to sift through. Picky that may be but we can afford to be.
It took me a good while to fulfil my fist fantasy date but he was well worth the wait. |
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There is nothing wrong with being picky - we all have the things we want and don’t want. Keep those standards.
I would slightly caution against holding the fantasy bar too high. As someone else commented, at the end of the day it is sex, and if your expectations of what it is going to be like are out of kilter then you may well be disappointed.
Just have fun, don’t over think it and go with the flow. |
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By *lexV16Man
over a year ago
Welling |
"Looking for my first swinging experience with my FWB but struggling to find the man/couple as I’m feeling too picky - I just want the first to be as my fantasy plays out!
Any advice welcome "
Yes, it’s absolutely wrong to be picky. You should go with the first guy that sent you his cock pic with toiled on a background  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Looking for my first swinging experience with my FWB but struggling to find the man/couple as I’m feeling too picky - I just want the first to be as my fantasy plays out!
Any advice welcome "
I'm super picky. I just can't have random sex with just anyone though so I have to suck it up until I find what I'm looking for  |
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"Looking for my first swinging experience with my FWB but struggling to find the man/couple as I’m feeling too picky - I just want the first to be as my fantasy plays out!
Any advice welcome "
No there are lots of losers stay true to yourself. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You can overthinking and never find any one, as the only way to find out is to take the plunge. The first time is unlikely to meet up with the fantasy but the second one is much more likely. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Looking for my first swinging experience with my FWB but struggling to find the man/couple as I’m feeling too picky - I just want the first to be as my fantasy plays out!
Any advice welcome "
Mybe the same reasons your not married or haven't a boyfriend perhaps |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Looking for my first swinging experience with my FWB but struggling to find the man/couple as I’m feeling too picky - I just want the first to be as my fantasy plays out!
Any advice welcome
Mybe the same reasons your not married or haven't a boyfriend perhaps "
Maybe she doesn't want to be married or have a boyfriend. |
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Your pickiness should be inverse proportion to the standards you're looking for and whether you're looking for a guy or a couple but, at the end of the day, don't meet up with people that only one of you fancies. That way lies grief... |
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By *m3232Man
over a year ago
maidenhead |
Or you could be living in fantasy land. If getting messages take a good percentage and look at the level of person you actually attract then decide if that’s for you.
Imo this will give you the level you are at. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Or you could be living in fantasy land. If getting messages take a good percentage and look at the level of person you actually attract then decide if that’s for you.
Imo this will give you the level you are at. "
total bullshit .... 90% of the men who message me id not go near in a million years and your saying because they contact us thats our level hahahah ahahaha no chance if that was the case then by your logic no one would have any preference or taste just because of who they attract ...you clearly have no idea what a womans or couples inbox looks like ....
being picky is not just about looks its about how people act too ...i know what i like and i know when i see it that will never change but thats the first steps most who pass this section well and truely fuck it up over the next few messages ....everyone should be picky male or female |
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By *m3232Man
over a year ago
maidenhead |
"Or you could be living in fantasy land. If getting messages take a good percentage and look at the level of person you actually attract then decide if that’s for you.
Imo this will give you the level you are at.
total bullshit .... 90% of the men who message me id not go near in a million years and your saying because they contact us thats our level hahahah ahahaha no chance if that was the case then by your logic no one would have any preference or taste just because of who they attract ...you clearly have no idea what a womans or couples inbox looks like ....
being picky is not just about looks its about how people act too ...i know what i like and i know when i see it that will never change but thats the first steps most who pass this section well and truely fuck it up over the next few messages ....everyone should be picky male or female"
Lol looks like a touched a nerve. Best I leave it there. |
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Be as choosy as you wish, it’s your call.
I’ve chatted to people & liked their pics but I still worry if the chemistry is there.
A few meets have lacked chemistry but fun can still take place & while many understandably like a social first. |
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"Definitely no such thing as too picky. I totally regret some of my first meets because I wasn’t picky enough  "
I’m only 4 weeks on the site, but I could’ve been verified at least a couple of times if I’d not been picky about who I met.Nothing wrong with the people that wanted to meet, they just weren’t for me.
As a guy especially, I think there’s a certain pressure on getting verified ASAP, as so many profiles want a verified guy, for obvious reasons.
I’ve even seen profiles state that if you haven’t been verified within a certain time frame, then don’t contact them! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Looking for my first swinging experience with my FWB but struggling to find the man/couple as I’m feeling too picky - I just want the first to be as my fantasy plays out!
Any advice welcome "
Go by socials, it’s quite hard to convey chemistry via messages, it’s much easier to gauge what people are like via socials and thus decide whether they are compatible with you, even if they aren’t sexually they may be a lot of fun to have as a friend? |
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