FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Jealous meets??
Jealous meets??
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Do you ever get this problem? where you have a past meet or potential new meet get jealous if you meet somebody or get verified?
I have had two friends delete me tonight as i was sat on cam in chat with my fuck buddy in my room, seems a lil bit over the top to me as one i had only met once and the other i havent met at all.
Just wondered if this happens to everyone at some point and how do i deal with it in the future? |
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Our first meet (from another site) turned out to be abit of a stalker! I thought he was a great guy and would have happily met him again till he started texting everyday and kept asking why I was chatting to other guys. Told me he wasn't interested in meeting anyone else now he'd met me and was slating OH for letting me fuck other guys. Needless to say we cut all contact. Ironically it was him that recommended fab lol
Got to commend him for possibly sticking to his word though, checked both his profiles and he's not logged in since we told him to swivel |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Our first meet (from another site) turned out to be abit of a stalker! I thought he was a great guy and would have happily met him again till he started texting everyday and kept asking why I was chatting to other guys. Told me he wasn't interested in meeting anyone else now he'd met me and was slating OH for letting me fuck other guys. Needless to say we cut all contact. Ironically it was him that recommended fab lol
Got to commend him for possibly sticking to his word though, checked both his profiles and he's not logged in since we told him to swivel "
wow we got to meet you, you must be good |
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Sadly I've encountered jealous men after only one or two meets and it's the married men who are the worse from my experience (the ones playing without wifey's knowledge).
There's really no need & is one of the many reasons I won't meet men any more |
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had a situation in a MFMF where the wife of the visitors (who had made a significant dent in my bacardi) suddenly decided that her hubby was having far too much fun with me and my fb and got dressed while we were too busy enjoying ourselves to notice...then the domestic started in my lounge...happy days... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I met one guy once and once only, seemed a nice guy, until another guy verified me. Then started getting stalking messages and texts and him turning up at my house uninvited. Blocked him on here and blocked his number on phone. Still kept turning up at house, had to get police involved in the end. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Do you ever get this problem? where you have a past meet or potential new meet get jealous if you meet somebody or get verified?
I have had two friends delete me tonight as i was sat on cam in chat with my fuck buddy in my room, seems a lil bit over the top to me as one i had only met once and the other i havent met at all.
Just wondered if this happens to everyone at some point and how do i deal with it in the future?"
Be happy they left without being idiots and giving you hassle. Eek! X
I've been pretty lucky really, had a few get arsey about me meeting other people. A few ask who else I've met and want details, but seems that can be noseyness not just jealousy.
I don't show meet veri's, maybe that helps.
The comments from various people that have had hassle on meets.... What a nightmare! Especially the poor bloke that got attacked. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Yes! My first couple experience !she approached me. . . And they experienced in swinging So I met him after confirming with her in person it was ok. . And next thing she making up lies about me and turns out she jealous and then they blocked me ! Certainly not rushing to meet another couple thats for sure! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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i did once with a man i met a few times.
he said he felt jealous when he seen a verification on my profile after i had met him, only he made a joke about it.
then he brought his mate with him for a threesome, he seemed to enjoy it only afterwards he said he didnt like seeing me with his mate and didnt like it because i replaced his picture with his mates picture. i told him that i didnt fancy his mate though, i just like the picture. then he kept telling me about other women who fancyed him as if to try and make me jealous.
i think maybe i did actualy prefer his mate after all. not for his looks but his personality type.
i think everyone get a little bit jealous sometimes its human nature.
people could be used to being admired for their looks when their younger, then when they are older people not so many are interested. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I had am odd experience with a couple too, we were all playing I was sucking him he was licking me, he made me cum then she got up and walked out ?? not sure why I was playing with her too and about to return the favour to his wife, but she stormed off and left the club, funny thing was he said he wasn't leaving till he cum !!! |
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By *B9 QueenWoman
over a year ago
Over the rainbow, under the bridge |
Jealousy? They're gone. No two ways about it. I don't have to explain myself to anyone. Cannot do with all that 'relationship' crap. And it is no one's business but mine who I see and when. |
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By *ENDAROOSCouple
over a year ago
South West London / Surrey |
Only once and that was the first single guy that we ever met....
He started sending me snotty text messages after he saw we had met another guy. Then tried apologising after I told him off. I'm actually glad he showed his true colours as we cut all contact there and then.
We do this for fun not to get hassled |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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A few year back. I met a couple, he just watched as me and his wife played and fucked. We both came etc etc. Everything seemed fine then all the hassling text messages and phonecalls started. What a nightmare. Early hours of morning etc. Would sit outside my house during the night. Heard I wasn't the only one he done this with. Why the f@@k be on a sex site asking for guys to come sleep with his wife then turn into an idiot. Maybe she enjoyed it more with other guys than him lol. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Should i really have to not verify or hide my verifications? I mean this is a swinging site and im sure given half the chance they would both meet other people.
One im not at all bothered about but the other man has stopped texting and having a sulk, which is gutting as i thought i had found the pefect regular fun for me.
Seem's not though if this is his reaction to me having a meet and with someone i have been meeting for almost a yr anyway, not even a newbie..
Why does it have to be so bloody difficult? is there any such thing as uncomplicated sex????? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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As soon as the signs start, they are gone, cut dead !
I have only had this once.
I only asked 'how are you ?' and the response that followed was surreal to say the least.
He is now on permanent ignore. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Yes its happened - a really nice sweet married Bi couple i knew; the fella got dead jealous becuse i had met one of his "verified" FB; not by design just luck on my part; next thing was he sent me message say i hate you etc --- silly man |
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I think I am just better at selecting people now than I was in the early days and so don't really have the problem.
I did have all the "you found time to meet them but not me" bollox and the "so what are you doing if you are not free"... worse still the people who jumped in when you are chatting to someone else with the "I know her better than you do" comments.
I have even had the 2am text messages... "you never loved me" ..... *yawn*.
You soon learn to filter them out. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Can't understand this at all!!
When we started doing this we talked and talked and talked.
Made absolutely sure we were both happy with what we were doing, what the limits were and that most importantly we were not going to involve anyone else in an awkward situation because we hadn't bothered to have the discussions we should have had beforehand.
We talk before and after every meet to make sure we are both happy still, in fact we talk all the time! I cannot grasp the concept of being open enough with a partner to be on here with them but not being able to be open enough to talk about what you do and don't want or to be able to just enjoy them enjoying themselves!
I can't think of anything more selfish and inappropriate than dragging someone else into problems you may have during a meet Or in fact even having a meet if you are the type of person who is going to have a hissy fit because your partner is enjoying themselves "too much"
As for jealously over other meets, what are they doing on a swinging site...... |
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I've had one personal experience and 2 that I saw. The one that affected me was at Xtasia a few years ago. A couple came into the play area, and as she started to play with her man I asked both of them if it was ok to go down on her. Both said yes, I started and after a while felt what I thought were her hands on my head, when next minute my head was stongly pushed away from her and the guy starts mouthing off. She apologised as they left the area and the 2 guys and a couple who were watching said he'd reacted because his lady was almost coming and he didn't want that. Apparantly he'd done it before too.
In Cupids also a few years ago a couple went into the couples room which could be seen through a _iewing window. They'd been in for a while when she came out (both had been playing), but he stayed in, 20 minutes later she drags him out and were last seen putting the world to rights as they left the club.
On the other side of the fence though, I went to a meet recently in London. When I'd arranged the meet I'd intended to stay overnight in a hotel, but the couple had said for me to stay over and she'd explained I was to sleep on an airbed which was fine. As the night progressed, fun was had by all and the guy generously told me that I'd be sharing the bed for the whole night with his gorgeous lady sandwiched between us. Definately a couple whom like their fun and haven't got a hint of jealosy between them which is great, so as can be seen there's good and bad situations, I guess it all comes down to how comfortable you are with your chosen lifestyle. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My bad experience was with my first cpl
Every thing was arranged by him
We met in a pub near mine had a few drinks then bk to mine were the fun started everything was grate we moved to the bed room and was enjoying the fun when he got up an sat in the corner crying his eyes out
She just got on top and carried on as if nothing was wrong !!
Needles to say it left me feelin a bit put off cpls
But soon got over that with the next cpl |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Our first meet (from another site) turned out to be abit of a stalker! I thought he was a great guy and would have happily met him again till he started texting everyday and kept asking why I was chatting to other guys. Told me he wasn't interested in meeting anyone else now he'd met me and was slating OH for letting me fuck other guys. Needless to say we cut all contact. Ironically it was him that recommended fab lol
Got to commend him for possibly sticking to his word though, checked both his profiles and he's not logged in since we told him to swivel "
Hilarious that's integrity for you!!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I went to chams with a fella.
Through the course of the nite, met his mate and that was it....his mate didnt want me anywhere near his mate i had come with......wot a nitemare |
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I think its a truism of life that if you are trying to plug the gaps in a relationship with swinging things will come apart at the seams.
We have seen some very odd stuff to do with jealousy from couples in clubs and on fab but remain happy that we enjoy this lifestyle and enjoy watching the other getting pleasure as much as we enjoy the pleasure itself ! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've never had any issues re jealousy with those I've met - but had a few with those I haven't.
As someone who's happy to chat/PM with pretty much anyone - but selective who I meet in person - either for socials or fun - I find it amusing that people I've informed will remain in the first category feel the need to pass comment on those in the latter - either to me or friends themselves.
Whether its jealousy, an inferiority/superiority complex, or just an inability to mind their own business and just let people manage their own interactions, I'm not sure!
But when it happens it certainly backs up my initial decisions as to which camp they fall into!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It happens more than you think I've had it a few times tends to be why I hav a three meet rule now has I find its worse if u try to get a regular fb. God knows why they bother if they are the jealous type as its a swinging site not a monogamous fuck site |
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By *iewMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Angus & Findhorn |
"It happens more than you think I've had it a few times tends to be why I hav a three meet rule now has I find its worse if u try to get a regular fb. God knows why they bother if they are the jealous type as its a swinging site not a monogamous fuck site "
I agree, it is more prevalent than people think |
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Heads up people...!
This is a site to find people for gratuitous fucking!
Some of those situations are frightening! Glad we have talked properly about it! Wy to many singles don't actually seem to understand this is a site for meeting others to fuck. Not a flipping dating site! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It is. And there are also a lot of nutters out there. When I (f) was single I stopped meeting MF in the end as they all seemed to have issues of some sort. I think a lot of these problems occur when people get too chummy. Hide your veris, don't do 'friends', use a swinger phone, meet in hotels. We don't even give them our names if we can get away with it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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People who get jealous on the scene should leave the lifestyle immediately without question.. It points to insecurities within their relationships or for a single they're on the scene for the wrong reason. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Our first meet (from another site) turned out to be abit of a stalker! I thought he was a great guy and would have happily met him again till he started texting everyday and kept asking why I was chatting to other guys. Told me he wasn't interested in meeting anyone else now he'd met me and was slating OH for letting me fuck other guys. Needless to say we cut all contact. Ironically it was him that recommended fab lol
Got to commend him for possibly sticking to his word though, checked both his profiles and he's not logged in since we told him to swivel "
I had one like this slating J for letting me meet other people and after I eventually blocked him he made another profile and started stalking me again |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Can't understand this at all!!
When we started doing this we talked and talked and talked.
Made absolutely sure we were both happy with what we were doing, what the limits were and that most importantly we were not going to involve anyone else in an awkward situation because we hadn't bothered to have the discussions we should have had beforehand.
We talk before and after every meet to make sure we are both happy still, in fact we talk all the time! I cannot grasp the concept of being open enough with a partner to be on here with them but not being able to be open enough to talk about what you do and don't want or to be able to just enjoy them enjoying themselves!
I can't think of anything more selfish and inappropriate than dragging someone else into problems you may have during a meet Or in fact even having a meet if you are the type of person who is going to have a hissy fit because your partner is enjoying themselves "too much"
As for jealously over other meets, what are they doing on a swinging site......"
It's not just jealousy during the meet - that's one thing. But what, to us, would be far more worrying is anyone starting to give the impression that we are 'theirs' afterwards.
The first form of jealousy 'should' (easy to say I know) be ed out before the meet if you are good enough in asking the right questions. If we get the slightest feeling that there may be an issue between the couple, or (now that we've started to meet a few guys) with the guy which may make the meet go bad, then we pull out. We have quite limited time available for meets compared to many on Fabs, so we simply don't have the time for bad meets as a result.
The one you can't guard against is post-meet jealousy as is clear from what many have said above. You just never know how someone is going to be once they leave. Had one who was looking at our pics a 'little too often' after and had to change our management of how we present ourselves as a result. Shouldn't have to do it, but no choice if we were going to protect our private life away from Swinging.
Pork |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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^^^
I don't understand that either!
I can see how there MAY be an issue with someone who is single and a bit obsessive and you probably wouldn't find that out until it is too late.
But Couples? Is there really couples who get bent out of shape because people they have met are seeing others? There must be from what I have read on these forums but it does beg the question - what are they doing here!!
As for the picture stalking - sorry about that. We have tried to stop |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"^^^
I don't understand that either!
I can see how there MAY be an issue with someone who is single and a bit obsessive and you probably wouldn't find that out until it is too late.
But Couples? Is there really couples who get bent out of shape because people they have met are seeing others? There must be from what I have read on these forums but it does beg the question - what are they doing here!!
As for the picture stalking - sorry about that. We have tried to stop " PMSL!!! As if!!
I know where you are coming from about the 'how could couples do that?' reaction, and years back I would have said exactly the same, but it happens. Very often it is one half of the couple, rather than both (although that also happens - can't flippin win can you?!)
It's just an extension of the playground mentality 'He/She's MY friend - NOT YOURS!!' kind of thing. But like I said before, it's how much effort you put in before the first meet which guards against it - and, of course, not being so desperate that you'll fuck anything just get a meet!! And enough people do that too.... (Oh I can feel them missiles coming at me already... retires to put on tin hat... )
Pork |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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In my experience over the years as a single swinger I've encountered jealousy in many forms, but to say this is not a dating site and to blame singles for the problem ...... heads up, couples are just as bad. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"In my experience over the years as a single swinger I've encountered jealousy in many forms, but to say this is not a dating site and to blame singles for the problem ...... heads up, couples are just as bad. "
often with a couple, one half is ignorant the other is doing the stalking, or engaging in jealousy. Comes back to there being a problem within the relationship again...
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"In my experience over the years as a single swinger I've encountered jealousy in many forms, but to say this is not a dating site and to blame singles for the problem ...... heads up, couples are just as bad. "
As I said above I can't understand it full stop from anyone who is on here. They are clearly in the wrong place.
And I hope you didn't think I was saying it was a problem with single people. I wasn't - all I meant was if somebody was single and had a personality with a jealous streak I could see how it could happen. With a couple there has to be some serious issues in the relationship to behave like that. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If any one part if a couple as a jealous streak surely they shouldn't be on a swinging site is that not true " Absolutely. But a lot who are, hide it very well....
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"It happens more than you think I've had it a few times tends to be why I hav a three meet rule now has I find its worse if u try to get a regular fb. God knows why they bother if they are the jealous type as its a swinging site not a monogamous fuck site
I agree, it is more prevalent than people think"
My FB from here, is now saying she wants to go on a 'proper date' with me..
I've said 'no, I just want to fuck you, that's it, sorry' |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If any one part if a couple as a jealous streak surely they shouldn't be on a swinging site is that not true Absolutely. But a lot who are, hide it very well....
" but surely there partners Sould know and therefor shouldn't play with other swingers |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If any one part if a couple as a jealous streak surely they shouldn't be on a swinging site is that not true Absolutely. But a lot who are, hide it very well....
but surely there partners Sould know and therefor shouldn't play with other swingers "
'Should' and 'Do' are two very different things... unfortunately.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Hmmm, I have come across this too as a single guy. Two of my past meets have got jealous when I have arranged meets with other people or put up a "Meet today" note on my profile. One got quite mardy in fact. Needless to say, Ihaven't seen either of them since. |
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"Hmmm, I have come across this too as a single guy. Two of my past meets have got jealous when I have arranged meets with other people or put up a "Meet today" note on my profile. One got quite mardy in fact. Needless to say, Ihaven't seen either of them since."
wierd .. its a swingers site not a dating site .. we all meet other people |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"do not show my friends list or verifications. "
A very good way to avoid any of that unpleasantness, the sole reason we do the same.
...as for the other stories, I am unaware of anywhere in the marriage or even civil partnership ceremonies where it says that anyone has the sole right to their partners orgasm or the act of summonation thereof - that's not jealous, it's just selfish and denying their partner of what pleases them.
Wolf
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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well I'm not hiding my verifies or anything just cos someone doesnt understand the concept of swinging/casual sexual encounters...in the end up they get caught out anyway and delete their profile when they dont get what they want.I follow lots of people via the hotlist...especially those with verifies from the same person, in small amounts of time(repeat verifying),sure it can look good to fill ur list with experience..but when its all from the same ppl...it shows me nothing that makes them stand out anyway.
I'm here because I like shagging, if I want someone permanent, theyd know it..but while I'm not..I'll bedknotch as much as I fucking like |
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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago
Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum |
"Two of my meets have wanted me for themselves as their girlfriend,and did not want me to meet anyone else. "
I had a FB like that. Then he started meeting other women and now he's not so jealous. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I was hit and attacked by a hubby !! She orgasmed on my cock, and he went mad - not nice "
Wow, this is something I haven't heard or come across before.... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I see an mf couple not from this site whom i have great sex eith but was told they only meet me now then other day they said they had a meet with someone else which didny worry me at all but when i said i meet others they started shouting calling me all sorts.
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By *londeCazWoman
over a year ago
Arse End of the Universe, Cumbria |
Hells bells...first time someone challenged who I fucked would be the last time - and whoever my regular friends meet doesn't affect me at all, I'd only be bothered if a meet with me had been cancelled and then they'd met someone else instead (and to be honest, doubt I'd realise as I don't stalk friends veris)
Btw, my Hells bells is a figure of speech, not referring to our very own forumite Hels bels |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I can see that PORK has had a lot to say on this subject!!
I agree with all he says, but !!! I have had only ONE jealous moment, it didn't kill the moment because at the time i was a NEWBIE!!
Separate room was on the agenda, I was entertaining a larger guy that i was not used too. Anyway got in to a position that was wanted and he come very quickley. I could hear that Pork was having a fab time, tried so hard to keep him with me...but NO!! he wanted out and i walked in on Pork having ANAL with the other, something at the moment i am working on lol....... Silent tears |
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"Do you ever get this problem? where you have a past meet or potential new meet get jealous if you meet somebody or get verified?
I have had two friends delete me tonight as i was sat on cam in chat with my fuck buddy in my room, seems a lil bit over the top to me as one i had only met once and the other i havent met at all.
Just wondered if this happens to everyone at some point and how do i deal with it in the future?"
Just ignore and move on. Time they grew up |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Should i really have to not verify or hide my verifications? I mean this is a swinging site and im sure given half the chance they would both meet other people.
One im not at all bothered about but the other man has stopped texting and having a sulk, which is gutting as i thought i had found the pefect regular fun for me.
Seem's not though if this is his reaction to me having a meet and with someone i have been meeting for almost a yr anyway, not even a newbie..
Why does it have to be so bloody difficult? is there any such thing as uncomplicated sex?????" |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I was hit and attacked by a hubby !! She orgasmed on my cock, and he went mad - not nice " i had sort of the same the hubby went in a bad mood. but sat down and talk to him about his wife not gushing when with him and it all was the fact that she felt dirty squirting. so didnt want to do it on her husband and got tense when she cum felt really sorry for him.but after a little chat to the wife she relaxed and gushed over the hubby. who went home with a smile on his face and not hitting me result. lol
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A swinging site for NSA it is but were all human! this in no way excuses stalker ish or intimidating behaviour!! Jealousy I can understand but it's the way it's dealt with personally that's important and there are some who would fare better in strangeways! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"In my experience over the years as a single swinger I've encountered jealousy in many forms, but to say this is not a dating site and to blame singles for the problem ...... heads up, couples are just as bad.
often with a couple, one half is ignorant the other is doing the stalking, or engaging in jealousy. Comes back to there being a problem within the relationship again...
"
VERY SCARY |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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not something i have come across offen, i did have one guy i met call me up one night after he had read a verification from another guy, asking me why i had met someone else and not called him if i was feeling horny, i pointed out it was a swinging site and i could meet who i want, i then had he calling me and texting me every day for about 2 week to see if i wanted sex and to remind me he was there and i didnt need to find anyone else, i ended uo changing my number to get shut of him
other than that i havnt really had many problems |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I met one guy once and once only, seemed a nice guy, until another guy verified me. Then started getting stalking messages and texts and him turning up at my house uninvited. Blocked him on here and blocked his number on phone. Still kept turning up at house, had to get police involved in the end."
Yep me too!! |
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I found this hard to believe(not saying i disbelieve you) that people would behave in such a way on a swingers site. What on earth are they doing on here if they have jealousy tendencies.
Ive never encounted anyone being jealous on here, but i wouldnt except it. In fact i tell my gentleman friends to find other nice ladies as well as me, i even used to actively search ladies in one of my friends area for him.
id soon be shot of them if they started their antics with me, guess its just good fortune i havent come across anyone like that. Or it could be that im just not worthy of jealousy lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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U will be surprised how frequent this happens, I have been on this site since it first started and had my fair share of meets and my fair share of jealousy during meets and afterwards when i have verified and been verified, accept it as part of the "norm" now, it is supposed to be FUN and I like to have fun and if people have a problem with that then it is there problem, not mine and i simply hit the BLOCK button. However when my profile is visible i do have my friends hidden and also am very careful as to which verifications i show on my profile and what i write in other peoples profiles these days |
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By *wencatWoman
over a year ago
Leeds |
This happened me very recently... I am a nice person dont. like hurting anyone's feelings. sort talking to someone said I weren't meeting they got really possesive and nasty even in chat rooms so I blocked them. they then decided to tell a friend on here they met me caused me some right problems he has a partner I would never do that to anyone what a awful thing to do don't u think. ? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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So seems like a lot of folks have had issues involving jealous people, but few have stepped forward to say that they would be jealous / fucked off / miffed if someone they had met (and maybe had a softspot for) was up and out there meeting new people whilst putting them off or on the back burner. Funny that isn't it ? |
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By *wencatWoman
over a year ago
Leeds |
I never Been a jealouse person not even with hubby what's the point if they going to do it they will do it no matter what , let's be honest u can meet anyone anywhere shopping working lots opportunities. and been jealouse would drive me off so I don't do it ...if anything I think. I tend. to have at arms length attitude. that way I won't get involved |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So seems like a lot of folks have had issues involving jealous people, but few have stepped forward to say that they would be jealous / fucked off / miffed if someone they had met (and maybe had a softspot for) was up and out there meeting new people whilst putting them off or on the back burner. Funny that isn't it ? "
Maybe because those of us who find it 'odd' in others don't suffer from jealousy ourselves...? We don't. Good luck to any of our former meets and current friends in finding experiences with others - that's what swinging is all about. It's the complete opposite to 'sexual possession' isn't it.
But I could be wrong..... has been known..
Pork |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So seems like a lot of folks have had issues involving jealous people, but few have stepped forward to say that they would be jealous / fucked off / miffed if someone they had met (and maybe had a softspot for) was up and out there meeting new people whilst putting them off or on the back burner. Funny that isn't it ?
Maybe because those of us who find it 'odd' in others don't suffer from jealousy ourselves...? We don't. Good luck to any of our former meets and current friends in finding experiences with others - that's what swinging is all about. It's the complete opposite to 'sexual possession' isn't it.
But I could be wrong..... has been known..
Pork"
but obviously a 'problem' does exist hence the thread and the contributions within that thread ?
you're far more experienced a swinger than i and are probably therefore more seasoned in why it does rear it's head.
do you think there are reasons as to why that is ?
is swinging as an alternative lifestyle attracting more people who think they are suited to it and then finding that they aren't ?
do you think the internet has a bearing on the newbies coming onto the scene due to it's easier access and raised profile ?
do you think that free dating sites blur the lines with sites like fab ?
am just bumbling now, but hopefully you get my drift ? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So seems like a lot of folks have had issues involving jealous people, but few have stepped forward to say that they would be jealous / fucked off / miffed if someone they had met (and maybe had a softspot for) was up and out there meeting new people whilst putting them off or on the back burner. Funny that isn't it ? "
I'll hold my hand up to that. Not sure I'd call it jealousy but I've been miffed when a mate was meeting but too busy to meet me. Have met other people with him and not felt an jealousy in the meets.
I think I'm human (yeah, really) and I think not to feel jealousy about anything at all, ever, is a bit odd.
For example I sometimes feel jealous of some people that have hot bodies, or jealous of people that have lots of free time to meet. I don't think it's a bad thing. Just a feeling I get. I also feel happy for them that they have those things. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So seems like a lot of folks have had issues involving jealous people, but few have stepped forward to say that they would be jealous / fucked off / miffed if someone they had met (and maybe had a softspot for) was up and out there meeting new people whilst putting them off or on the back burner. Funny that isn't it ?
Maybe because those of us who find it 'odd' in others don't suffer from jealousy ourselves...? We don't. Good luck to any of our former meets and current friends in finding experiences with others - that's what swinging is all about. It's the complete opposite to 'sexual possession' isn't it.
But I could be wrong..... has been known..
Pork
but obviously a 'problem' does exist hence the thread and the contributions within that thread ?
you're far more experienced a swinger than i and are probably therefore more seasoned in why it does rear it's head.
do you think there are reasons as to why that is ?
is swinging as an alternative lifestyle attracting more people who think they are suited to it and then finding that they aren't ?
do you think the internet has a bearing on the newbies coming onto the scene due to it's easier access and raised profile ?
do you think that free dating sites blur the lines with sites like fab ?
am just bumbling now, but hopefully you get my drift ? "
Bussy darling! You? Bumble? Surely not... (shakes head in disbelief).
I am flattered you bow to the many years of shagging I have behind me... and I have sat and thought about the various possibilities you have put forward.
You know, at the end of the day, I think it just comes down to the very simple fact that people are attracted to Swinging (in this country anyway) by it's very 'Seaside Postcard Naughtiness' as perceived by those who have not experienced the lifestyle.
That leads people to dip their toe in the water without EVER considering what they are going into and CERTAINLY never looking at themselves in sufficient depth and asking themselves the simple question 'Am I emotionally mature enough to handle a sexual lifestyle different to the one I have had up to now?'
You hear all the time about couples (especially) who have gone into Swinging as one half is keen, but the other is doing to it do 'keep them happy'. It HAS to be a full joint decision for a couple and you have to look far deeper into your own mind than you will have done at any time before.
The only thing I can relate that 'depth' of exploration to is how one handles bereavement. I can honestly say that is the one time in my life where I have questioned my emotions and how I can cope with them to a similar extent to the way in which I do when it comes to Swinging.
Since Perky and I got into the lifestyle as a couple, I went through a whole host of emotions which never surfaced when I was first introduced to it as a single guy 27 years ago. But even then, I still had to examine my own thoughts, feelings etc very early on or I would not have been able to continue with it.
Hence the reason I tend to ask people we contact, or who contact us, some very searching questions sometimes. I know why I am here, but I doubt they do... and that's where jealousy and deceit start.... unfortunately.
Pork |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hence the reason I tend to ask people we contact, or who contact us, some very searching questions sometimes. I know why I am here, but I doubt they do... and that's where jealousy and deceit start.... unfortunately.
Pork"
.... and you have the cheek to say I bumble !
Great response Pork and all valid IMHO
Love the last para the most though, hence why I left it as a quote here.
Very pertinent and bang on the nail. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hence the reason I tend to ask people we contact, or who contact us, some very searching questions sometimes. I know why I am here, but I doubt they do... and that's where jealousy and deceit start.... unfortunately.
Pork
.... and you have the cheek to say I bumble !
Great response Pork and all valid IMHO
Love the last para the most though, hence why I left it as a quote here.
Very pertinent and bang on the nail. "
Bussy, as always, you are far too kind to an old fart like me.....
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By *orkieMan
over a year ago
Who knows |
Have had this happen twice, both single women. Everything fine while I was seeing them but after we had run our course then I was public enemy number one. All a bit one sided in the fact that they were meeting others before during and after me and I didnt bat an eyelid.... its a swing site not dateline |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I found this hard to believe(not saying i disbelieve you) that people would behave in such a way on a swingers site. What on earth are they doing on here if they have jealousy tendencies.
Ive never encounted anyone being jealous on here, but i wouldnt except it. In fact i tell my gentleman friends to find other nice ladies as well as me, i even used to actively search ladies in one of my friends area for him.
id soon be shot of them if they started their antics with me, guess its just good fortune i havent come across anyone like that. Or it could be that im just not worthy of jealousy lol"
i personally dont think its so much jealousy as single women are hard to meet so when people do they tend to want to keep them close as re meeting a woman you have already met is much easier than finding a new one to meet
And reading thro the thread it does seem to be the single women who get this, maybe its because others think singles can be easier manipulatedto do as they want as they have noone to 'stand up for them'
i dont know |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"My bad experience was with my first cpl
Every thing was arranged by him
We met in a pub near mine had a few drinks then bk to mine were the fun started everything was grate we moved to the bed room and was enjoying the fun when he got up an sat in the corner crying his eyes out
She just got on top and carried on as if nothing was wrong !!
Needles to say it left me feelin a bit put off cpls
But soon got over that with the next cpl "
i had something similar to that when i was married, i used to meet as a couple and we met another couple, when play started it was obvious he had no interest in me at all, so i told him if i wasnt his type it was fine he could just go join in with my hubby and his mrs, he then told me that it wasnt me but he just didnt want to do this at all but his wife had told him she would leave him and find someone else if he didnt, then he asked me to carry on with him so she didnt think anything was wrong as she would get mad if she looked over and he wasnt doing anything |
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One of the most thought provoking threads we have read. It is about communication and setting boundaries for us on here. We love and trust each other. This site is for sex, it's not facebook! We have talked at length that this is about fulfilling our fantasies. Everyone will at some point we believe encounter jealousy, when not everyone gets the distinction that this is about having adult fun but that is all, we are with our partners because we want to be! We have seen it, and had singles and couples who have overstepped the mark. For us it is a huge no no and shows a complete lack of respect for us. If it happens, or we see the signs, we are outta there!!!!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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i was thinking about someone i knew.
i dont think you should always be too hard on someone who is jealous only they could be going through a bad patch and have low self esteem.
its best not to be involved with them though because they could start to get you down and play mind games with you. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You can't be jealous on a site like this, it will tear you apart! we are all on here to swing with different partners, it's not a dating site, if that's what your looking for move to another site...! |
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By *orkieMan
over a year ago
Who knows |
The way I see it is... and I have known this on several occasions..... if you see someone on a regular basis people from the past crawl out of the woodwork and start getting pissy over the perceived lack of availability of a person.
As far as I see it, people are in your past for a reason and the only advice is get down to Jewsons, get some materials, build a bridge and get over it |
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my wife sometimes gets guys grumping at her for going with me her hubby!!!
Crazy comments like " i spose you off to bed now dont worry about me etc"
then blanking her or slagging her off lol
Block Block |
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