FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > How do you make sure you get get feelings after regular meets ?
How do you make sure you get get feelings after regular meets ?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I like the idea as the sex can get hotter if you meet up again and also your going to genuinely feel more comfortable and know what there like as a person but same time i think one offs might be better as feelings could possibly get in the way wouldn't want to catch feelings on either side |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Boundaries are important. If you are just hooking up, keep it that way. Don't go out on dates or see each other outside the arrangement. Also limit the time you invest into talking on a daily basis. |
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Feelings aren't caught like an illness they develop over time. Often you can really like a person the first few times you meet them only to find out that later down the line they're not quite the person you thought they were.
If you're worried limit meets to no more than three with the same people. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I like the idea as the sex can get hotter if you meet up again and also your going to genuinely feel more comfortable and know what there like as a person but same time i think one offs might be better as feelings could possibly get in the way wouldn't want to catch feelings on either side "
Exactly why I never meet anyone twice  |
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Also if you're in a pretty strong relationship that's going well you're going to be aware that chucking that away for someone off the internet you've had sex with a couple of times is a daft thing to do. You might like someone a lot which I can't see a problem with but anything more would indicate to me that it was likely to happen eventually anyway. |
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By *izzy.Woman
over a year ago
Stoke area |
For me the key is meeting other people as well, so that you don't just have sex with the one person.
In the past I have had feelings for someone. It was reciprocated and we had a fabulous two year relationship. We agreed that we'd continue swinging separately and together. If you are both single and open to a relationship, it's cool.
But if its one sided or not something you are open to, as soon as you think things are getting too close, have a break from seeing them or stop seeing them.
Communication is the key. I'm sure I've written that somewhere else an hour ago  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You cant make sure ....being human is a pai. Sometimes..you just need to step back and move on"
unless they feel the same that is ...if they do then great.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Feelings aren't caught like an illness they develop over time. Often you can really like a person the first few times you meet them only to find out that later down the line they're not quite the person you thought they were.
If you're worried limit meets to no more than three with the same people. "
Totally agree...some people are a wolf in sheeps clothing.. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don't talk to them everyday.
I don't do love making with them just hard filthy sex.
If you start to feel those feelings coming on ,stop seeing them.
Before meets remind yourself it's just sex and sex only.
If Kissing is too intimate for you then have a no Kissing rule.
There's nothing wrong with you,we're all human and emotional beings and sex releases a lot of feel good chemicals. |
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By *elkieWoman
over a year ago
Durham |
Sometimes the chemistry is there for sex and not romance. When I meet someone who I really click with, we have the conversation about what exactly we want. If there’s chemistry and magic there but a relationship isn’t on the table, I don’t fuck them. No sense borrowing trouble. Or at least, I don’t fuck them twice. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"There seems to be quite a fear among some in regards to 'catching ' feelings.
And yet, lots want chemistry and connection "
I'm a very sensitive and emotional being so I have to be careful. It's got me in to trouble in the past.
Obviously it's way better if you get along and have a good natter  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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some people just cant control there emotions from a couples point of view its simple we swing as a couple that shows that most of us couples are in very loving and trusting secure relationships .. we had a few guys over the years who we stopped seeing over this ....
i guess its totally different for singles as they are singles and as such no harm done ...
some do it for no other reason than to cause grief out of jealousy that they dont have what others do...
freinds is the best we offer and that takes plenty of time on its own along with trust ... anything other than that is blocked and walked away from ... mrs |
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"Boundaries are important. If you are just hooking up, keep it that way. Don't go out on dates or see each other outside the arrangement. Also limit the time you invest into talking on a daily basis."
This. You can care about them, that's perfectly natural. But be very clear about the situation. |
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"The speed and nature of the communication between meets is important. No goodnight, good morning messages. Worked for me in a two and a half year FWBs relationship. "
That sounds quite a cold way of interacting with someone I assume you liked? And very measured |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Also if you're in a pretty strong relationship that's going well you're going to be aware that chucking that away for someone off the internet you've had sex with a couple of times is a daft thing to do. You might like someone a lot which I can't see a problem with but anything more would indicate to me that it was likely to happen eventually anyway. "
That's a very good point |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"For me the key is meeting other people as well, so that you don't just have sex with the one person.
In the past I have had feelings for someone. It was reciprocated and we had a fabulous two year relationship. We agreed that we'd continue swinging separately and together. If you are both single and open to a relationship, it's cool.
But if its one sided or not something you are open to, as soon as you think things are getting too close, have a break from seeing them or stop seeing them.
Communication is the key. I'm sure I've written that somewhere else an hour ago "
Yeah I agree with you. We have a very strong relationship hence why we want to do this. Not doing it for ourselves we are doing it for each other because it will turn us on as a couple. My wife said she wouldn't enjoy fucking another guy on her own. She said likes it because it's something we are doing together we find hot |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"There seems to be quite a fear among some in regards to 'catching ' feelings.
And yet, lots want chemistry and connection "
This yes .. its why I mentioned it |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"This yes .. its why I mentioned it
What does your wife think about it? Is she worried you'll stray?"
Nope not at all as it would be more a MFM situation. She has mentioned during sex she would like to add a women but then she says actually no I couldn't do that lol .. I mean I'd rather see her with another guy then me fuck another women as I had previous partners in the past before we was together and she only been with me the last 12 years and 1 guy before me that's why I think It's more of a turn on seeing her with a guy rather than me with a girl. Don't get me wrong I wouldn't turn down the opportunity if it was to arise lol |
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By *evaquitCouple
over a year ago
Catthorpe |
"I don't want a boyfriend or husband, or anyone who thinks they can run my life.
I still have feelings for people. "
We're this way inclined, more distant even and one reason we don't meet couples. Our swinging life and our life are two separate entities, we don't want friends, people getting fond of each other and all that stuff. Friendly, polite and respectful during a meet then it's over, better we've found this with single guys for mainly one off meets, no more than three max. Feelings shown our way are a no no, a redline. |
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I prefer one offs for this reason but when I have met someone more than once my husband is always involved in the conversations, I'd never chat privately with the guys, the meets would be arranged on my couples profile, we may switch to this one purely to arrange the day (to give my husband a surprise) but the guys I've met know I'll always push conversations to our couples account
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