FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Been on FAB over a year and had no meets
Been on FAB over a year and had no meets
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Hi all.
Was wondering what people think about other profiles that have been on FAB for over a year and still no meets I mean are you wasting your time making an effort and writing them a message.
I appreciate people need time when choosing to meet someone but over a year?
What are people's thoughts.
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By *bi HaiveMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
"If you’ve been on fab for over a year and aren’t verified by a meet you’re either not bothered about meeting or not putting effort in."
This. Use it as another filter when you see it and when actively browsing you can tick the box to select verified by meeting as one of the search parameters.
A |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If you’ve been on fab for over a year and aren’t verified by a meet you’re either not bothered about meeting or not putting effort in."
Got to put the effort in as the guys out number the ladies by a long way unless your looking for a guy that is |
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When I first joined Fab, under a different profile name. I took approximately 15months before I finally met someone for a social who finally verified me.
It wasn't through lack of trying, not by any stretch of the imagination. I guess I wasn't then and still aren't fuckable  .
Don't get me wrong I've had my fair share of meets but the site doesn't get any easier even if you've had a successful meet and veri.
It's difficult everyday |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've been here over a year and haven't had a meet, probably haven't put the effort in required by a single male but I also don't just want to bombard loads of women with loads of messages |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think if you’ve been on a year with no veris you should give up. You obviously aren’t trying or are too cripplingly shy or lacking in any appeal!
Veris don’t have to be from play; I mean you can turn you cam in and get people to verify, go to socials and people will verify or go to a club and maybe get play as well as verification.
It’s pretty easy to be fair. |
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By *erces LetiferMan
over a year ago
Somewhere off the edge of the map... 'ere there be monsters |
"I've been here over a year and haven't had a meet, probably haven't put the effort in required by a single male but I also don't just want to bombard loads of women with loads of messages"
I think if you examine what's making you equate putting in the required effort as a single male to "bombarding loads of women with loads of messages," you might discover part of why you haven't had any meets yet.
Just a thought. |
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I am generally pretty wary of profiles that have been here for a year and don’t have any meets. I assume that they are likely to be flaky (at best) or fake/non-existent (most likely).
I would suggest if you are genuine and have no meets in over a year then I would either start again or consider whether this is the right place to be. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If you’ve been on fab for over a year and aren’t verified by a meet you’re either not bothered about meeting or not putting effort in."
Says a complete ‘guesser’. Did you read that on here somewhere? 
I’ve been here over a year for many reasons without Any meet verifications (just very old social ones now). But I would meet up, would have met up but I’m only drawn toward a few. And those few are off doing there own thing etc.
so it’s not lack of effort or ‘possible time waster’. Just patient.   |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"This is what I was thinking you really aren't bothered about meeting if you have been on that long and not had any meets "
another one.
Try talking to them, find out or just guess, whatever works for you.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've been here over a year and haven't had a meet, probably haven't put the effort in required by a single male but I also don't just want to bombard loads of women with loads of messages"
I like to weigh the effort I put in to what I get out of it. Do I feel like I’m losing energy and getting none back off anyone.
Single men are getting a message we should put ‘more effort in’. No, i put the effort into people i think deserve it, they will appreciate it more. That’s my advice.
If someone would prefer ‘fresh meat’. I’m much wiser than that. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If you’ve been on fab for over a year and aren’t verified by a meet you’re either not bothered about meeting or not putting effort in.
Says a complete ‘guesser’. Did you read that on here somewhere?
I’ve been here over a year for many reasons without Any meet verifications (just very old social ones now). But I would meet up, would have met up but I’m only drawn toward a few. And those few are off doing there own thing etc.
so it’s not lack of effort or ‘possible time waster’. Just patient. "
You have met someone though  |
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"I've been here over a year and haven't had a meet, probably haven't put the effort in required by a single male but I also don't just want to bombard loads of women with loads of messages
I like to weigh the effort I put in to what I get out of it. Do I feel like I’m losing energy and getting none back off anyone.
Single men are getting a message we should put ‘more effort in’. No, i put the effort into people i think deserve it, they will appreciate it more. That’s my advice.
If someone would prefer ‘fresh meat’. I’m much wiser than that. "
How is that actually working for you? You do come over as slightly defensive about something but I am not quite sure what. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've been here over a year and haven't had a meet, probably haven't put the effort in required by a single male but I also don't just want to bombard loads of women with loads of messages
I like to weigh the effort I put in to what I get out of it. Do I feel like I’m losing energy and getting none back off anyone.
Single men are getting a message we should put ‘more effort in’. No, i put the effort into people i think deserve it, they will appreciate it more. That’s my advice.
If someone would prefer ‘fresh meat’. I’m much wiser than that.
How is that actually working for you? You do come over as slightly defensive about something but I am not quite sure what."
Yes I do sound defensive.
It’s the message ‘you’ve not met because of lack of effort’ everyone who enjoys the site and gets something out of it (whatever that is) thinks they have the magic formula, effort isn’t it!
Everyone is different, tell me to put effort in and as above, someone might think ‘send out MORE messages’.
I don’t, I think ‘pay More attention to those I think I like’.
We all do things differently.
But I’m not defending anything for any reason, just explaining how I think peoples views on other people is ‘guesswork’ at best. |
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"I've been here over a year and haven't had a meet, probably haven't put the effort in required by a single male but I also don't just want to bombard loads of women with loads of messages
I like to weigh the effort I put in to what I get out of it. Do I feel like I’m losing energy and getting none back off anyone.
Single men are getting a message we should put ‘more effort in’. No, i put the effort into people i think deserve it, they will appreciate it more. That’s my advice.
If someone would prefer ‘fresh meat’. I’m much wiser than that.
How is that actually working for you? You do come over as slightly defensive about something but I am not quite sure what.
Yes I do sound defensive.
It’s the message ‘you’ve not met because of lack of effort’ everyone who enjoys the site and gets something out of it (whatever that is) thinks they have the magic formula, effort isn’t it!
Everyone is different, tell me to put effort in and as above, someone might think ‘send out MORE messages’.
I don’t, I think ‘pay More attention to those I think I like’.
We all do things differently.
But I’m not defending anything for any reason, just explaining how I think peoples views on other people is ‘guesswork’ at best. "
That makes sense and I do now understand your point better (to be fair you did make that earlier but I misread it).
I guess my original question still stands: assuming you are on here to actually meet - does your approach _actually_ work for you? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I’ve been on here 3 months now and must say I am struggling to arrange meets.
I don’t go after verifications, not something I want to ask in messages or push for, as that’s not why I am here.
But happy for any suggestions / constructive criticism to help with the above |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hi all.
Was wondering what people think about other profiles that have been on FAB for over a year and still no meets I mean are you wasting your time making an effort and writing them a message.
I appreciate people need time when choosing to meet someone but over a year?
What are people's thoughts.
"
They may have joined during covid times.
They may have been on here 10 years and actually be a man wanking.
They may meet in clubs.
There's no way of knowing if they are real and will meet unless you message them.
A 2 month old profile may be just as unlikely to ever meet as a 1 year old profile.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If you’ve been on fab for over a year and aren’t verified by a meet you’re either not bothered about meeting or not putting effort in.
Says a complete ‘guesser’. Did you read that on here somewhere?
I’ve been here over a year for many reasons without Any meet verifications (just very old social ones now). But I would meet up, would have met up but I’m only drawn toward a few. And those few are off doing there own thing etc.
so it’s not lack of effort or ‘possible time waster’. Just patient. "
The OP asked for people's perspectives, which they've given. It doesn't mean we're all right, it's just how we see it.
Personally, if a profile is on here that long without verifying, they're either fake, or not meeting for one reason or another. Neither is any use to us, so we'd block them. I'm sure every one of the hundreds of profiles on our block list is still happily using fab and won't have missed us either!
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've been here over a year and haven't had a meet, probably haven't put the effort in required by a single male but I also don't just want to bombard loads of women with loads of messages
I like to weigh the effort I put in to what I get out of it. Do I feel like I’m losing energy and getting none back off anyone.
Single men are getting a message we should put ‘more effort in’. No, i put the effort into people i think deserve it, they will appreciate it more. That’s my advice.
If someone would prefer ‘fresh meat’. I’m much wiser than that.
How is that actually working for you? You do come over as slightly defensive about something but I am not quite sure what.
Yes I do sound defensive.
It’s the message ‘you’ve not met because of lack of effort’ everyone who enjoys the site and gets something out of it (whatever that is) thinks they have the magic formula, effort isn’t it!
Everyone is different, tell me to put effort in and as above, someone might think ‘send out MORE messages’.
I don’t, I think ‘pay More attention to those I think I like’.
We all do things differently.
But I’m not defending anything for any reason, just explaining how I think peoples views on other people is ‘guesswork’ at best.
That makes sense and I do now understand your point better (to be fair you did make that earlier but I misread it).
I guess my original question still stands: assuming you are on here to actually meet - does your approach _actually_ work for you?"
Yes it does , and it’s great when I speak to people and their way matches mine. We are all unique in what we do and how we act, profiles are a book cover, I don’t mind if that book has some dust on it, it still could be interesting… hopefully it has sexy pictures in page 3  |
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Covid changed the swinging and Fab worlds, because it was illegal and dangerous to meet for much of the last 2 years. People have more leeway because of this, in my opinion.
Whatever happened is in the past, you can only decide to progress from here now. There are many threads discussing the difficulties of single men becoming established and getting meets, so you could review these and see what's relevant. Usually it focuses on how well - or not - men are using the tools here to sell themselves, by having a worthwhile profile,going to socials and clubs. Photos are essential for others to know whether they fancy people physically, so those who don't use them to effect are limiting themselves. Your county isn't the most well blessed for clubs but I'd be pointing you towards using them, as a way to get to know people.
You could make a new account and start again but I'd encourage you to revolutionise how you are doing things instead. |
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I've been on here over two years without any meets. We've had covid during that time when meeting up with others was banned (unless you worked with Boris Johnson), and being 61, honest about being married with permission doesn't make me the greatest of catches. I get that and it's just something I have to live with. I'm not desparate for a meet although I'd like one but also it's very frustrating to keep messaging people and being ignored. So my message is please don't assume that anyone with a verification isn't bothered or putting the effort in, we are but it can be difficult and we know our realistic expectations. However we are still great company to chat with! |
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By *izzy.Woman
over a year ago
Stoke area |
"Your profile needs some work..... new photos not just cock .... some public photos..... and face pics"
If this is aimed at the OP, he hasn't asked for profile advise and has had several meets himself. He was asking would people meet others who have been on the site for a year without verifications. ie would it put people off.
If it was me, if the persons photos and profile appealed, I'd ask if they had had any meets or why they had no verification and discuss any concerns . Communication is the key |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hi all.
Was wondering what people think about other profiles that have been on FAB for over a year and still no meets I mean are you wasting your time making an effort and writing them a message.
I appreciate people need time when choosing to meet someone but over a year?
What are people's thoughts.
"
What you have to remember is some couples and ladies will get 800 messages from single guy’s! Have you got time to read that many?
Just make your profile stand out it some way or go to clubs and take the time to speak to people there! Make friends! But don’t expect fab to be the answer to you getting layed! |
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I've had this account for a few years. Only get gay/bi guys, TVs and pic collectors message. I've no verifications, because I've not met people.
I mostly use fabs to read the forums, perv on profiles and expose myself on the webcam. These to me are the best aspects of this site. For actual meeting women/couples for sex. It's a lot less effort at spas, real life, non-sex internet forums/websites.
I believe the reasons behind this.
1. Not putting "enough" effort in. (I have a job and other interests.)
2. No verifications (self fulfilling prophecy)
3. Assumed to be Fake/Picture collector. (1+2)
4. Fabs being a well established site, has a lot of unknown do's & don'ts, it's own social code and people can be pretty judgemental until you have a voice conversation or meet them face to face.
5. Many women & couples are looking for quite specific things - it's a swinger/fetish/kink match-making site after all.
(I've a couple profile, that meets more success. Although to be fair it's mostly guys that message, and many don't seem too bothered to converse or meet. The few couples that do get in contact usually message with terms - "Mrs is on period/not feeling you/Your cock is too big, can you watch? while I have fun with your wife ?".)
I think it's tough for everyone. Even those that do manage meets, what percentage of those meets does one party feel short changed/underwhelmed/misled/deceived?
So yeah I think there are many genuine people that have never managed to meet, particularly if they are a guy. But it's more to do with their profile, messaging approach, and the time during the day or night that they're logged in rather than anything physically undesirable with the person (it's not uncommon for many non pic/minimal description 'guy here looking to fuck' profiles to get a few verifications). |
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"I think if you’ve been on a year with no veris you should give up. You obviously aren’t trying or are too cripplingly shy or lacking in any appeal!
Veris don’t have to be from play; I mean you can turn you cam in and get people to verify, go to socials and people will verify or go to a club and maybe get play as well as verification.
It’s pretty easy to be fair. "
Yeah I tried that a few times. Had loads of watchers, but could manage to convince anyone to write a verification, even if you tempt them privately (didn't offer them money to write a verification. even I have my limits of simptitude ) - But let's face it "verified by webcam" is pretty common for fake profiles, I suspect many would disregard a webcam verification.
Probably a lack of effort, or persistence. |
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By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in Co. Down |
Why does it bother so many people what others do on their fab journey. It's none of your business what others do or how they use fab.
Concentrate on those who want the same as you and just let others do whatever they want to do. |
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